Pratica di Shadowing: Focus Only On Yourself (And Forget About Everyone Else) - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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There is a reason that Theodore Roosevelt's quote, comparison is the thief of joy, is still quoted almost a hundred years later.
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It wasn't just he was trying to be poetic in some sort of way.
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He was actually describing a real psychological and neurological trap that is built inside of the human circuitry.
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And we all fall into it.
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I don't think there's a person that can just completely get out of the trap of comparison to other people.
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And so we fall into it many different ways.
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We scroll through Instagram or TikTok or YouTube for 10 minutes
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and then suddenly you are less successful than some
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25 -year -old dude who just sold a startup for $45 billion and now you feel like a loser.
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You're maybe less adventurous than that influencer that's over in Italy right now
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and then she's going to be in Patagonia hiking for the next two weeks after that.
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You're also chunky and less fit than the 48 -year -old dude who has an eight -pack.
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You're less together than that couple who's posting all of their hashtag fit couple dinners and goals and all that stuff.
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And so then you close the app and you don't feel inspired.
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You feel smaller.
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You feel like you feel behind.
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You feel like you're not enough in some sort of way.
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And that's really the paradox of it all is you could be thrilled with your life before you open up that app.
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You can feel grateful you can feel content, you can feel fulfilled.
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And then 10 minutes later, after going online, you just don't feel good.
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You feel like you're in this hole, this deep, dark hole of inadequacy.
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Why is that?
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Well, it comes down to basically the way that our brains are wired.
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And I want to talk to you about the neuroscience behind comparison.
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So why is it this way when you look at the brain?
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Well, if you dive into the actual neuroscience of comparison, our brains are designed to keep us alive.
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It doesn't care about your happiness.
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It doesn't care about your joy.
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It cares about your safety.
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And your brain, in order to keep you safe, is a prediction and survival machine.
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And so at its core, it thinks inside of your head unconsciously, where do I stand in the tribe?
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So your brain basically evolved over time to create a system that neurologists call a social comparison mechanism.
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It is a built -in radar that is constantly scanning your environment.
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Am I above this person or am I below this person?
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Am I safe or am I at risk?
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Am I going to be accepted or am I going to be kicked out of the tribe?
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And this radar lives in brain regions like the ventral striatum in your brain and the medial prefrontal cortex.
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And those parts of your brain will light up when you compare yourself to other people.
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And so if you happen to see somebody and you're like, oh, I'm farther ahead than this person, your brain will release dopamine,
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which is the feel -good chemical that's like, oh, look at me, I'm better than this person.
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Oh, look at me, I'm better than that person.
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But if you see somebody else who is way further than you
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and you feel quote -unquote behind or they make more money or they seem happier or they're traveling to more beautiful places,
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your brain will release cortisol, which is a stress hormone.
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So in other words, your brain will actually reward you for doing better than other people, and it will punish you for falling short.
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The problem though, you're running software that's 50 ,000 years old,
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but instead of comparing yourself to 30 people like you used to when it was like 25, 30 people in your tribe 500 ,000 years ago,
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whatever it was, you're now comparing yourself to 7 billion people on a screen.
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And we will be right back.
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Hey, if you're ready for your next breakthrough, join me at my three -day live in -person event in Austin, Texas this December.
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It will be a complete deconstruction and reconstruction of the old patterns,
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habits, beliefs, and fears that are holding you back from your next breakthrough and getting to your next level in your life.
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If you're ready for 2027 to be the best year of your life, learn more at freedomlive2026 .com right now,
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or scan that QR code right there.
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And now back to the show.
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And 99 .9 % of them, you probably don't even know.
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And so no wonder why you feel like crap, because you're comparing yourself to every person alive versus the 30 people that are in your trap.
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Like I remember a couple years ago when I took a big step back from social media
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and I woke up one day.
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It was quiet.
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It was a beautiful day.
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It was before we had the baby.
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So I had so much time to do whatever I wanted, right?
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And it was just beautiful morning.
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And I remember I went out to my living room and I did a meditation and I got a cup of coffee.
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And I was outside drinking my cup of coffee and I was watching the sunrise.
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It was an amazing day.
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And then a little bit later, I felt like complete.
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And it was like, my attitude was completely off track.
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I felt like a loser.
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And I was like, I don't, I don't feel good.
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And so I had to bring my awareness in.
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I always try to become aware of what's going on when I feel something shift.
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And I bring my awareness and I'm like, why am I feeling this way?
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Like, what did I just do over the past hour?
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And what was I just thinking?
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And I try to become aware and actually self -diagnose.
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And I realized that I was on social media for about 15 minutes.
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I picked up my phone while I was outside.
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I was having a great day and I was scrolling through
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and I was watching a friend of mine who's an awesome
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person who's 10 years younger than I am talk about his business and his business was doing better than my business.
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And even though my business was crushing it and we were doing amazing, I looked at him and I was like,
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but he's a little bit ahead of me and he's 10 years younger than me.
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And I felt like, so i started researching like why is this happening like why can't i be happy for him
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and be happy for myself why can't
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i just allow myself to be grateful for where i am i started researching this comparison mechanism in our brain
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and why i felt so behind and it was like oh the reason why is because
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when i started comparing myself to him unconsciously my brain felt
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behind my brain released cortisol cortisol is a stress hormone now that's why i feel like
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that is why I'm so stressed out.
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And this is how social media actually hijacks your joy.
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Because when you're looking at somebody's pictures and you're looking at somebody's reels and you're looking at somebody else's stories,
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you're looking at their highlight reels of their life.
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I very rarely see somebody post just a random day.
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Like usually they're posting the best 1 % of their life, their vacations, their wins, their smiling selfies,
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and your brain interprets their highlights, their top 1 % of the moments in their life as normal life for them. And then
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so you're comparing it to your normal life where your kids are breaking down in the middle of grocery store
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and you're like, well, I'm not on vacation in Hawaii right now.
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Their normal is vacation in Hawaii.
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My normal is my two -year -old likes throwing stuff on the floor.
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So you're comparing highlight reels and thinking that it's normal.
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Another reason why it kills your joy is because there's this infinite scroll.
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I've never gotten to the end of a scroll before. Have you?
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I don't think so.
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And so unlike your small tribe that you would have grown up in, there's no end.
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You can always find somebody who is richer, who is fitter, who looks better than you, who's happier, who's more successful.
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And that's what you're going to find when you're going through this infinite scroll.
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Another thing is that platforms like to actually bait you
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and give you content that is designed to trigger envy to actually keep you scrolling.
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Because when you get stressed, you want to then, like when you feel cortisol and you get stressed, what do you want to do?
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You want to numb that stress.
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And what do people usually do to numb their stress?
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Continue to keep scrolling.
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So every time you scroll, your social comparison radar in your brain fires
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and you're unconsciously ranking yourself they make more money
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they travel more than I do their kids look better than
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mine do they look happier than I am they're further along in their business than I am
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and even if you're a happy grateful content person your brain recalibrates baseline not off of what is baseline
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and normal in your life but what you think is baseline in other people's lives which is really just their highlight reels.
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And this is really important to understand because now your success, your happiness feels smaller and it makes it harder to feel joy in your life.
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You were meant to compare yourself to only one other person, not compare yourself to every single person that's alive.
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And the crazy part is that you don't even know what's real on social media.
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Like I know people who I have seen the relationships in the gutter and they post about how amazing the relationship is.
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I know people who are making no money trying to tell people
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that they are doing amazing and renting Ferraris to try to sell their services to you
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so that you can be as quote unquote rich as them.
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I have a friend who is in the house of a now very famous influencer
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that recorded a very famous video inside of a garage next to a Lamborghini
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that was not his and started selling courses about how to make money.
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And people bought courses like crazy from him because they saw a Lamborghini and they went, well, he's got a Lamborghini.
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I'm going to buy from him.
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Completely fabricated.
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There's a couple of brothers that I've seen.
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They have YouTube and Instagram and all that stuff.
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And they're these two brothers and they do these crazy trips.
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They spend like $500 ,000 to go to F1 and their lives just look amazing and insane, right?
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Super successful in their mid twenties.
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I was like, man, these guys are crushing it.
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What happened?
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They got arrested for drug charges.
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They were drug dealers.
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Isn't that interesting?
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So they were selling this course on how to grow an online dropshipping store,
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but they were actually high -level drug dealers trying to teach people how to grow through online dropshipping stores.
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Almost nothing online is real.
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Stop letting it kill your joy.
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And so the problem with all of this is that we're comparing apples to oranges.
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We're comparing your behind the scenes, your bills, your stress, your messy kitchen to someone else's highlight reel.
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You're comparing your chapter five in life to somebody else's chapter 20.
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You're comparing your business to a friend's business, forgetting that they've been doing it longer than you, their goals are different, their industry might be different,
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their timeline might be completely different.
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Neurologically though, your brain does not care.
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It just sees they're ahead, I'm behind, danger, release cortisol.
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And that danger signals the amygdala, the brain's threat detector, to raise your cortisol levels and hijack logical thinking.
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And that's why comparison doesn't just feel bad, but it also clouds your judgment and also kills your gratitude as well.
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And so when you look at this, it's really important to understand there's two different types of comparison, okay?
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Number one is upward comparison, and number two is downward comparison.
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This was originally brought in by the, it's called the social comparison theory in 1954 by a social psychologist named Leon Festinger.
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And humans evaluate themselves by comparing themselves to others.
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Upward comparison, downward comparison.
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Upward comparison is looking people who are quote -unquote above you, more successful, more attractive, more wealthy.
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And that can motivate you to be better or it can crush you because you make yourself not feel as good.
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Then there's also downward comparison, which is looking at people who are quote -unquote below you, which can boost your ego,
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but it can also lead to guilt because of the fact that you're like, why am I comparing myself to these other people?
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So neither one of them is good.
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And we'll talk about downward comparison in a minute, but the real danger, the one
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that will really kind of throw you off track is upward comparison because it can motivate you in some sort of way,
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but most people, it doesn't motivate them.
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It makes them feel like complete and then it starts to erode their own identity
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because you start comparing yourself to someone else instead of asking yourself like, am I fulfilled?
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Am I happy with my life?
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Do I have a good life?
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And trying to build a happy and fulfill life.
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And now you start asking yourself instead, am I as good as them?
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And that shift is what is killing your joy.
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It takes your North Star out of it,
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which should be your own personal goals and what you're building and trying to build your own personal fulfilling life.
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And instead of being my goals, my fulfilling life, it's like, am I better than this person?
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That's not how we want to be running our lives.
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So the only real fair comparison is that you have to compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
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That's the only one that you can do.
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That's the only apples to apples measurement that's available
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because you share the same genetics and background and experiences and circumstances as your old self.
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That's it.
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That is the only fair comparison.
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So are you kinder to yourself than you were yesterday?
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Did you grow 1 % in patience or skill or discipline or business?
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Did you face some sort of fear that you were trying to avoid?
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If the answer is yes to any of those, you're winning, period, you're getting better.
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And from a neurological perspective, this shift rewires your reward system.
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So instead of dopamine only spiking when you beat somebody else or when you're better than somebody else,
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it spikes over and over and over again when you beat your past self, which is awesome because now you're competing with your past self.
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And that's sustainable joy.
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So when you beat yourself and you're better than you were yesterday, you become happier.
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Tony Robbins always says it, progress equals happiness.
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Humans want to grow.
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They want to continue to get better.
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And so when you can compare yourself to yourself yesterday, a week ago, 30 days ago, and you see that you're a little bit happier,
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a little bit clearer skin, a little bit fitter, a little bit better of a parent, your relationship is a little bit better,
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oh my gosh, you're gonna start feeling amazing when you're comparing yourself to your old self.
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And so let's talk about real quickly like how to rewire your brain against comparison against other people.
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The first thing, I don't know how many times I need to say this in the podcast,
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but you got to practice some sort of digital hygiene, some sort of digital detox, like unfollow the accounts that make you feel like crap,
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like that trigger your envy, not your inspiration and set timers for app limits to protect your attention.
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If you're really over it, just delete them for 30 days and see how your life feels after 30 days.
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So that's the first thing.
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The second thing is I want you to journal two things every single day.
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The first one is some daily gratitude.
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Just jot down three things that you're grateful for in the morning.
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This gratitude practice will actually literally strengthen the neural pathways in your brain for joy.
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Just write down three things that you love about your life in the morning.
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The next thing is you want to journal through is micro wins from yesterday.
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Track tiny daily improvements like more patience, another workout, a small business win, patience when your child was yelling,
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maybe showing up in a loving way versus a judgmental way.
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That will reward your brain for growth over comparison to other people.
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So that's the second thing.
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The third thing is to start to compare yourself.
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If you do compare yourself to other people who are further ahead.
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Compare yourself with, not against.
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So instead of thinking like this person is ahead of me, start thinking they show me what's possible.
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Like the mirror neurons in your brain will treat their success as potential fuel for you.
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You'll say they can do it.
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I can do it.
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They're showing me what's possible in my industry.
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So compare with versus against them.
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And then try to anchor yourself in enoughness.
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Like ask yourself if I had nobody compared to would I be satisfied in my life right now?
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And if the answer is yes, that's, that's amazing.
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That's joy speaking before your comparison hijacks it.
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And so your joy isn't scarce.
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It's not a scarce resource.
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Your happiness doesn't need to shrink because somebody else is happy.
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Your success in life doesn't dim because somebody else has succeeded.
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Our comparison is a thief of joy because it tells you that life is a race.
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Life is not a race.
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It is a art project.
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And the only project that you'd be working on is one canvas.
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And the only canvas that you can work on is your own life.
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So the only measurement that you can look at is, okay, is my canvas more beautiful than it was yesterday?
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And if the answer is yes, you're winning.
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And that's the only thing that counts.
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Hey, thanks so much for watching this video.
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Based off of what you've been watching recently on YouTube, YouTube thinks you should watch this one next.
245
This is perfectly crafted for you.
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And if you want to make sure you don't miss any more videos, click this one right here.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Focus Only On Yourself”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: comparison, brain, comparing, joy. Questo video contiene 246 frasi e 3113 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 16:46. Chi parla va veloce, circa 186 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 85% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| compare verbo | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | paragonare |
| highlight verbo | /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/ | mettere in evidenza, enfatizzare |
| fulfill verbo | /fʊlˈfɪl/ | completare |
| happiness sostantivo | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | felicità, gioia |
| grateful aggettivo | /ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/ | grato |
| vacation sostantivo | /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ | vacanza |
| reward sostantivo | /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/ | ricompensa |
| trap sostantivo | /tɹæp/ | trappola, tranello |
| versus | /ˈvɝsəs/ | contro |
| patience sostantivo | /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/ | pazienza |
| radar sostantivo | /ˈɹeɪˌdɑɹ/ | radar, radiotelemetro |
| crush verbo | /kɹʌʃ/ | schiacciare, pigiare |
| canvas sostantivo | /ˈkæn.vəs/ | canovaccio, tela |
| gratitude sostantivo | /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/ | gratitudine, riconoscenza |
| baseline sostantivo | /ˈbeɪslaɪn/ | riferimento |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| open up verbo | aprire | |
| pick up verbo | tirare su, sollevare | |
| stress out verbo | stressare | |
| wake up verbo | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | svegliarsi |
| write down verbo | sottoscrivere, annotare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- It doesn't care about your happiness.
- It doesn't care about your joy.
- Am I safe or am I at risk?
- Am I happy with my life?
- Do I have a good life?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | they've been doing · you've been watching |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is still quoted · is built · could be thrilled |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | person that can · cortisol, which is · people that are |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've never gotten · have seen · I've seen |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 82 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, I'm. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: thief /ˈθiːf/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/, wealthy /ˈwɛl.θi/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, pathway /ˈpæθˌweɪ/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, crush /kɹʌʃ/, measurement /ˈmɛʒ.ə.mənt/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: mechanism /ˈmɛk.ə.nɪ.zəm/, neurological /nɝəˈlɑd͡ʒɪkəl/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, psychological /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/, sustainable /səˈsteɪnəbəl/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: highlight /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, hormone /ˈhoɹmoʊn/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, hike /haɪk/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: highlight /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, downward /ˈdaʊnwɚd/, upward /ˈʌpwɚd/, reward /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, trap /tɹæp/, canvas /ˈkæn.vəs/, gratitude /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/, scan /skæn/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come compare, highlight, fulfill.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.