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Today, on the Mel Robbins Podcast, five simple things that shift your mood instantly and make you feel better now.
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Okay, before we jump into this extraordinary episode, my team was showing me something.
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They brought up a lot of emotion.
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58% of you who watch the Mel Robbins Podcast here on YouTube are not subscribers.
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It would make me feel so supported, seen, and grateful if you would subscribe.
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If that subscribe button is lit up, it means you're not a subscriber.
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Will you help me achieve my goal of getting that number to 50%?
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It's free.
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That way you're not going to miss a thing.
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And most importantly, it's one way that you can tell me
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and the team here at the Mel Robbins Podcast
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that you love all the content that we're putting here on YouTube for free.
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This episode is going to be one of your all-time favorites.
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I can just feel it.
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So let's jump into it.
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Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
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I'm really glad that you're here today, because it's always an honor to spend this time together and to be with you.
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And if you're a new listener or somebody shared this episode with you, I just want to take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
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Now we're going to be talking about how to feel better fast.
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And the fact that you hit play on an episode
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that has that title tells me that you've been dealing with a lot.
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And I can say that with a lot of confidence because something recently happened and it blew me away.
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So I was flying home to see my folks in Michigan
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and I had a little bit of spare time and I decided, okay, I'm just gonna post a question on the stories on Instagram.
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And the question was super simple.
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It was just, what do you need help with right now?
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And then something happened that was shocking.
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Over half a million people responded.
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let me just read you some of the words
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that kept coming up over and over
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and over again anxious irritated tired stuck flat oh my god
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flat that's how i was feeling last week sluggish fried self critical i was
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so shocked by how many of you responded
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and how consistent the words were
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that you were using to describe what you needed help with
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and i was like okay we got to do something about this
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because you deserve to feel better and you can feel better.
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And so here's what my team and I did.
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We went through all of these responses
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and we've analyzed what are the top five feelings that are showing up right now the most in your life.
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And then we dug back in to the experts
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that have appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast looking for the best advice to help you reset this feeling.
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And so we're going to go through the five most common feelings.
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The first being just feeling tired, flat, sluggish.
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Oh my gosh.
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The second one is feeling stuck, like you're stuck in a funk or you're stuck in a bad mood.
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The third was brain fried.
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You're overstimulated.
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You're not sure how to like get the energy or the focus back.
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You just kind of feel blech in the brain.
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The fourth one was just tired.
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Tired of being responsible for everything, holding it all together, being so hard on yourself.
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And the fifth feeling was really heavy.
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And here's the deal.
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The advice that you're about to hear is so powerful and simple, and you can use it as soon as you're done listening.
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And in fact, the last piece of expert advice that I'm going to share with you today is just downright magical.
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It's one of my most favorite tools that has ever been shared on this podcast.
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So let's start with the first feeling that so many of you told me that you're dealing with, and that's just that you're exhausted.
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You feel flat.
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You feel sluggish.
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You don't feel like yourself.
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This is that period in your life where you're just like, God, how do I get my mojo back?
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I'm tired of being tired.
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This is so relatable.
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This was me yesterday.
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I just hit the wall at work yesterday.
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And then I remembered this advice from Dr. Wendy Suzuki, because what Dr. Suzuki is about to tell you is
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that the fastest way to change how you feel is to change what your body is doing.
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She says that one of the simplest tools for helping you shift out of that sluggish blah feeling
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and get some energy moving again is to get yourself moving again.
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And it only takes 10 minutes.
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And before you hear what she has to say, I want to explain who Dr. Suzuki is.
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Dr. Suzuki is a world-renowned neuroscientist and the dean of the College of Arts and Science at New York University.
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She's known for her groundbreaking research on memory, brain plasticity, and the simple things you can do every day to improve your focus, learning, memory, and brain power.
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She's also pioneering research on how moving your body can improve your brain health.
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And the advice she's about to give you, I took this advice yesterday here at work in our Boston studios in between tapings.
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And oh my God, it changed everything.
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Here is Dr. Wendy Suzuki talking about what happens to your mood when you take a simple 10-minute walk.
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Every single time you move your body, you are releasing literally a flood of neurochemicals in your brain.
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That is the physical thing that happens.
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And I'm not talking about run a marathon.
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I'm talking about even taking a walk.
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A 10-minute walk gets that flood of neurochemicals going.
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Is it different if you do get your heart rate up?
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Yes, it is.
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But the power starts with a 10-minute walk.
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The neurochemical flood starts with a 10-minute walk.
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What is in that flood of neurochemicals?
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Dopamine, serotonin, noradrenaline.
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endorphins, growth factors.
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The first three, dopamine, serotonin, and neurodegenerative, what's that going to do?
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It's going to make you feel great.
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Well, you've just given your brain this flood of neurochemicals that I like to call a neurochemical bubble bath for your brain.
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And I love that image because if you move regularly, think of it as a regular bubble bath for your brain,
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these neurochemicals that are making you feel good, the growth factors go to your hippocampus, that is what's growing those brand new hippocampal cells.
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The power of exercise comes from that neurochemical bubble bath.
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I love that image.
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I love the image of being outside for just a 10 minute walk.
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Every one of us can find 10 minutes and you can imagine that flood happening.
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And I also, I personally am a bath person.
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So when you say bubbles and like a bath in my brain and bubbles are fluffy, and I don't know that I wanted a body part to be big and fluffy,
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but now I do want a big and fluffy brain, that a 10 minute walk at a minimum causes that flood of really positive chemicals.
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And this goes back to what you were saying, which is neuroplasticity and growing your brain works in the positive.
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Yes.
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And not doing these things, I suppose, works in the negative.
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Well, the negative comes from the most common negative brain plasticity drivers.
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Very familiar to all of us.
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Stress, chronic stress, chronic anxiety are two things that will cause retraction.
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So is the flood of all of those like superpower, do you call them chemicals or what are they called?
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Neurochemicals, neurotransmitters.
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Gotcha.
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So does the flood of all those neurochemicals relieve anxiety?
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Is that why taking a 10-minute walk, if you're feeling anxious, can make you feel better?
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It's because of the release of the neurochemicals.
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Yes, yeah.
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The most common drugs that one gets prescribed for depression or anxiety are releasing forms of noradrenaline and dopamine and serotonin.
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So this is a natural way to get that.
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It's free.
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You don't even have to change your clothes.
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So that is just the magical power of moving your body for your brain.
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I love that.
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How does exercise improve focus?
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Improved focus is the most common positive effect that has been reported from studies of exercise on the brain.
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Easiest to find, improved focus.
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We know it's affecting the prefrontal cortex.
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And the mechanism of that and what exactly is happening is less clear than some of the other brain areas.
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We think that growth factors are also involved and that it involves not growth of new brain cells in the prefrontal cortex, but new synapses.
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You get an immediate positive effect of focus from that same 10-minute walk.
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And with long-term regular exercise, your baseline levels of focus and attention go up.
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And that's where you expect to get real physical change in your brain.
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Wow.
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I personally notice an increase in energy, which I always find to be weird
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because I'm usually dragging myself to the gym or dragging myself out of bed to go on a walk or a hike.
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But when I'm done, even though I'm tired, I feel this boost of energy.
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Can you explain why exercise increases your energy?
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One of my favorite findings is in groups that were assigned the exercise condition, the motivation to exercise increased in them.
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So more exercise improves motivation to exercise.
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And the energy piece that you're talking about is likely due to the flood of dopamine
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and serotonin that go to your brain.
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Do you feel more energized when you're happy and when the reward that you get with dopamine?
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Yes, you are.
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So I'm going to say that it's probably most likely due to those same neurochemicals we've been talking about.
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And here's what I'm going to say.
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It freaking works.
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Because yesterday I was so sluggish, so burnt out, so tired.
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I did not feel like myself.
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And then I'm like, hold on a second.
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I just need to take a 10-minute walk outside and then I'm going to get that bubble bath she's talking about.
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And this bad mood is going to shake out of my body
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and I'm gonna walk back into work feeling like a completely different person.
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The research works.
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And here's what I'm gonna say.
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I get it.
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If you're feeling sluggish, if you're tired, if everything feels like too much, just like it did for me yesterday, even the thought of taking a walk feels like too much.
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I didn't wanna do it yesterday.
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In fact, it wasn't even like really something that I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go for a walk.
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The executive producer of the podcast, Tracy, said, you know, you really should go for a walk.
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And I'm like, you're right, because Dr. Wendy Suzuki says that just 10 minutes gives you that bubble bath in your brain.
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10 minutes is all you need to get the benefits.
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10 minutes in that neurochemical, oh my gosh, of dopamine and serotonin.
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She explained it better than I can, and she's the one that researches this stuff.
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10 minutes is all you need to start pulling yourself out of that sluggish, blah, ugh, feeling.
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And what happens after 10 minutes?
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Well, I'll tell you what happened for me, and this is going to happen for you.
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You'll feel a little more focused, a little more capable.
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a little more energized.
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And here's the best part.
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You don't have to wait until the end of the day.
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Whenever you feel like you've been run over by life, just push yourself out of that chair and go take a walk.
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It'll give you the benefit of all this research.
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And I will tell you, because I did this personally, you're gonna feel a hundred times better.
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And since Dr. Suzuki is so incredible, I'm gonna have her stick around for the second most common thing
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that so many of you wrote in and described about how you're feeling right now.
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And one of you in particular used the words, I'm stuck in a fog right now.
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You know, I'm in such a funk that I can't even see my way out.
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And so that's a little bit different than just kind of being tired and sluggish during the day.
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Like when you feel like you've been stuck in the fog,
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it's almost like you're dragging your whole life as you're trying to walk through shoulder deep water.
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Oh my gosh.
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And maybe that's where you are.
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You're getting through the day.
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You're showing up at work.
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You're answering the texts.
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You're making the dinner.
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You're getting through it.
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But everything about life right now just feels kind of muted.
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The things that you normally enjoy, they just don't hit the same.
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Small tasks feel oddly hard.
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Your brain just feels like it's working on a lower gear.
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And it's probably affecting your sleep.
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It's probably affecting how you feel about the people that you're around.
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You get irritated.
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You can't explain what's wrong.
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You're not yourself and you haven't been yourself.
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And yet you're still getting through the day and through your classes and doing what you need to do.
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But my gosh, it's almost like you're watching life through a dirty window.
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and the advice that Dr. Suzuki is about to give you is not gonna fix the big problems, but what it does instantly,
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oh my gosh, what it does instantly is it's something you can do every morning
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that snaps your brain and body with a jolt.
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And that may sound abrupt, but you're gonna understand when you hear this advice
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that a really great way to quickly clean the window and see things more clearly,
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to snap yourself into the present moment is take a cold shower.
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Dr. Suzuki's gonna explain the science, but when you step into a cold shower, holy cow, it's like, boom, your adrenaline turns on.
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Whoa, your nervous system wakes up.
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And all of that flooding that happens in your body just clears away the gunk
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and allows you to shift your mood instantly.
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Now for the last month, I'm going to confess something to you.
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I've been experiencing this.
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And so every single morning I take a cold shower.
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I start with a warm shower because I got to wash my hair and I'm not that brutal.
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I'm not stepping into an ice cold shower as the first thing.
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I got to kind of ease my way into it.
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I take my shower and then you know what I do?
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I just rank that thing all the way back to cold and then I brace for impact.
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And when that cold water hits you, it's literally as if you can feel the sludge moving from the top of your head down to your ankles.
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I can only stand it for about 20 seconds
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and then I got to step out
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but those 20 seconds are good enough to completely 100% shift the state of my body and my mood.
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So let's listen to Dr. Wendy Suzuki talking about this simple tool.
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What I love to do to supercharge that adrenaline boost every morning is hot, cold contrast showers.
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So I do my regular hot shower, but at the end, I push it all the way to maximum cold and boost.
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Okay, it was hard the first time I did it.
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But once you get used to it, that's a natural adrenaline boost.
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And that is like, I need that.
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If I forget, I go back into the shower.
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No. I do.
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I do go back into the shower to get it if I forget it.
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Because you need to be up.
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You need to be ready for that day.
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And that, together with exercise, are really powerful ways to get that energy up.
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So Dr. Suzuki, I want to stop you right there because that is a second huge free takeaway.
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We talked about the 10 minute walk.
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Yes.
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We have talked about this flood of neurochemicals that you can get by moving your body.
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Now you are talking about a habit
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that you have as a neuroscientist where you end every shower by spinning the dial from that amazing,
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steamy, awesome, warm shower.
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Oh, I love that feeling.
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Don't you start to feel a little tired?
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You're like, oh, do I really want to get out of the shower?
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And then Dr. Suzuki's like, what?
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And she turns it up cold.
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And now she's standing in freezing cold water.
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How long do you stand there?
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Yeah.
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And do you actually let it hit your head or do you cheat like I do and you hit a shoulder?
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So I let it hit everywhere.
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But now I'm used to it.
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The first time it was only a tiny little shoulder.
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It doesn't go big enough.
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But you get used to it.
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And now it's longer.
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I could do it much, much longer.
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And now I'm much more sensitive because different places you take showers have different coldness of the water.
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So yeah, I like it when places are really cold so I could really test myself.
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Because the colder it is, the bigger adrenaline boost that you get.
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And so now I'm sensitive to what that feels like in me.
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So the cold doesn't bother me when I'm kind of addicted to.
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What is the adrenaline that comes with it?
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So for the person listening, if they wanted to try this, and they're going to do it today or first thing tomorrow morning, and you turn the shower to cold,
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how long would you want them to try to stay in there?
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And what does it feel like when that adrenaline rush hits?
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Because I think when you do it the first time, your immediate reaction is get out of the shower.
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Is that what you're waiting to feel?
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Or is it the get out of the shower thing?
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and then you stay for a second or two to feel this like, ah, hit your body.
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Like, what are you looking for so the person listening can try this at home?
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Yeah.
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So it is a shock, as everybody imagined, the very first time.
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And so you do feel shocked and you want to kind of try to stay as long as you could handle it.
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But if you felt the shock, that's the point.
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Get out, you know, dry yourself off.
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that is going to last, I'm going to say easy, the rest of the morning.
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You are going to feel that adrenaline.
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I mean, that's why I do it.
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If it only lasted for two seconds, I wouldn't bother to do it.
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I do it because this is a boost of physiological adrenaline
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that is natural from this cold and it stays in your system.
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And I feel the energy difference when I do that.
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I do too.
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It absolutely works.
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And here's the thing.
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Like if you're going through a period of your life that's super challenging
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and you don't have an option to just go out of office and take a week, two weeks off and just regroup,
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this tool is an incredible way to support yourself in getting up, in shifting your mood, in shifting your body state so
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that you get this boost of energy and you can move through your day.
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And I love what she said about the fact that this is a natural adrenaline boost.
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Because one of the things that we also do, you know, when you're in these periods is you drink like three extra cups of coffee
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or you have a Diet Coke or you're pumping yourself up with caffeine
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and all this other stuff and then you can't fall asleep.
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Doing this natural adrenaline boost to tap into the energy that's in there that life has been tamping down is so effective.
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And I know you may be thinking, well, Mel, this sounds just way too simple.
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Have you ever tried a cold shower?
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Because you wouldn't be saying this sounds too simple if you've tried a cold shower.
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I promise you, if you feel crappy, flat, drained, sluggish, or just blah, just step in to the shower.
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Instant mood boost.
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I really want you to try this.
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and I'm willing to place a bet that this is gonna work for you too.
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And it will also probably work for someone else in your life that's not feeling like themselves right now.
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Now we're gonna move on to the third feeling
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that kept coming up over and over and over again from you and your fellow listeners, which is, you know what I need help with, Mel?
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My brain is fried.
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I know this feeling.
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I always explain this like the drawbridge is not closing.
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You know how on a drawbridge, both sides go up and then as it comes down, the sides connect.
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When my brain is fried, whether it's because I've worked too much or I've been pushing myself too hard or I've been going through something,
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it's almost like the drawbridge can't close.
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I can't connect the dots.
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I start a sentence, I can't finish the sentence.
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I have a thought, then I forget the thought.
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Make the appointment.
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I forget the appointment.
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I forget that it's my husband's birthday.
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I drop the ball on a deadline.
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You start to go like, what is wrong with me?
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Is this hormones?
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Is this life?
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Is this just my brain?
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Is this like something going on with my memory?
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Well, it turns out that feeling mentally fried is what happens
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when your brain has been taking in too much for too long.
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Does that sound like you?
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You're juggling too many things.
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You've got too many open tabs.
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You've got too many people needing something from you.
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Too much scrolling, which is input.
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Too much reacting, which is input.
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Too much worrying, which is input.
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Too much trying to keep up, which is input.
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And at some point, your brain's just like, okay, we're done here.
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We're done here.
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And what happens is your attention starts to get weaker.
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And suddenly, the simplest things feel hard, or you're rereading the same thing five times.
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Or here's my favorite one.
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How many times have you walked into a room and you're like, wait, why am I coming in here?
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And then you walk out, And then you go, oh, oh, that's right.
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I needed to get the scissors.
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And then you go back in and you get halfway across the room and you go, wait a minute.
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What am I looking for again?
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Or this is another thing that happens for me.
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This is signal number one that Mel Robbins has reached peak brain capacity.
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I get irritated over the tiniest things.
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Or I get upset with the nicest people.
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And then I feel terrible. and it's the worst.
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It's the worst when your poor brain is fried.
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It's just been trying so hard to do everything and to file it all away and to keep you organized.
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Oh my gosh, that brain of yours, wow, it's been working on overtime.
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And look, you can tell yourself all you want, focus, try harder, get it together.
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But maybe you don't need to focus harder.
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maybe you need to change what your brain is looking at.
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Isn't that kind of an interesting thought?
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I mean, let me say that again.
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You may not need to try harder.
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In fact, you shouldn't.
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Maybe you just need to change your focus for a second.
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And this piece of advice comes from Dr. Adam Alter.
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Dr. Alter is a renowned researcher and professor at NYU's Stern School of Business.
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He earned his PhD in psychology from Princeton,
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and a major part of his research focuses on how the environment around you shapes how you think,
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how you behave, and how you feel.
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Dr. Alter is going to explain how simply changing what you're looking at immediately changes how you feel.
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You know, there's that famous, I think it's a Wayne Dwyer quote, when you change the way you look at the world, the world you look at changes.
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And Dr. Adam Alter is here to teach you
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that there's specific things to look at and focus on
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that fundamentally change the way you feel in your body and the way your brain is able to work.
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So let's take a listen to what he said when he was here on the Mel Robbins podcast.
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A lot of my work focuses on how these different cues shape how we think, feel, and behave, and our welfare, our well-being.
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A lot of the focus for me recently is what happens
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when you go as far from screens as possible to natural environments, which we all sort of have the, I think general sense that that's good for us.
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It's good to be in a natural environment, but the effects there are among the most profound I've ever seen in any research
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that just spending a bit of time near a body of running water or hearing wind rustle through trees, that they have a huge effect on your welfare and it's worth doing.
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What effect does it have on your welfare?
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So one thing about the way we live our lives today in the modern era is that we are constantly sapped.
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Our attention is sapped.
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We're asked to pay huge amounts of very focused attention all the whether we're looking at screens, whether we're having extended work conversations, whether we're doing work.
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And so by the end of the day, you're kind of depleted, depleted, depleted.
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If you wear one of those watches that tracks your body battery, you see it just kind of goes down and down and down.
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And that's a good metaphor for the way we live our lives.
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It sums it up pretty well.
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The thing about nature is that apart from actually being asleep, being in a natural environment is replenishing.
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It basically turns that dial upside down.
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And so your energy starts to climb again.
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So it gives you back a lot of what is sapped by that very focused attention.
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Because when you're in a natural environment, your attention is still grabbed by things.
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You might hear a bird, you might hear the running water, you might look at trees, whatever it might be, looking at the ocean.
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But that kind of less focused attention is really restorative.
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And there's actually a whole body of research called attention restoration therapy
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that focuses on exactly this idea that being in natural environments is one of the best forms of medicine we have.
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So let's unpack that.
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I think you said something about attention therapy.
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Attention restoration therapy.
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What is that?
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Yeah, it's basically this idea that your attention is constantly being sapped.
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It's being taken away.
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And the kind of attention you have in a natural environment, which is not demanding, it's replenishing.
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It's true.
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It restores you, it brings you back.
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It gives you something that you don't have.
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I think the single most profound example of this for me was a study
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that was done at a hospital on people who were recovering from surgery and they were randomly assigned to different rooms.
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And some of the rooms looked out at a natural environment, the beautiful green lawn, some trees, and some of the rooms just where they happened to be in the building did not have that view.
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They were looking out at another part of the building.
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And they wanted to track how these people recovered from identical surgeries, depending on which room they happened to be assigned to.
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And they found they needed like half as much pain medication.
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They spent three days fewer in hospital recovering.
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Just looking out at that natural environment was the best form of medicine there was.
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So it's true, you know, I run maybe four or five days a week and I try to do it outside when I can.
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And I know on some level that just feels good, but there's a huge amount of science behind that as well.
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So what do you recommend for us to put into our lives?
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Because we've had neuroscientists, medical doctors, sleep experts come on the show and talk about the importance of getting natural light first thing in the morning.
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We've also had someone talk about if you're kind of burnt out
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and you are having one of those moments where you just feel your energy draining,
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even looking off at the distance out the window can help you restore your energy.
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What are some of the takeaways or the science fact things
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that people can implement in their lives to tap into this research?
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Yeah, so I think the biggest thing is I ran yesterday in a forest and it was wonderful.
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and there was running water, there were all these ingredients and it was incredibly restorative.
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But as a runner, my instinct is to just keep going, which is how we live our lives, right?
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You're doing something and you wanna keep going till it ends, till you finish doing it, till you can check it off.
420
And I had to push myself to stop for five minutes to sit on a rock
421
and just let the water go by.
422
And that was by far the most restorative, wonderful part of the day.
423
And I think there's something to that, this idea of purposely stopping yourself.
424
So I would say, whether you're in a big city whether you're not in a big city, find a little patch of natural environment.
425
And by the way, if you're in an apartment in a big urban environment, you don't have that option, even little trees, little plants that you have in the apartment,
426
the sound of a little fountain that you have with running water, that stands in for that experience too, is just spend say five minutes a day doing absolutely nothing but taking in,
427
drinking in that natural environment, even if it's a tiny one in your apartment.
428
If you can get out, all the better, but it's very important to do that, I think as a sort of daily practice.
429
Even just hearing him say, the sound of running water.
430
I mean, doesn't that just make you go, the sound of running water.
431
I want to underline that term that Dr. Atler just said, attention restoration therapy.
432
Dr. Alter's research has proven how attention restoration therapy works.
433
spending time in nature or simply being around greenery
434
or oh my gosh the sound of running water it can help restore your focus
435
and shift your mind from tired to calm or even energized
436
and if you really stop and think about it you can embrace the truth of
437
that and as I think about that like the sound of running water.
438
I wonder if why it works is
439
because the sound of running water makes me think of moments of time where I'm like laying by a river.
440
It reminds your mind that life isn't always this freaking chaotic and nutso,
441
that there are parts of you that experience moments of calm, moments of peace.
442
And you can use this technique that he's taught you in order to tap into that when you're feeling like you're fried.
443
And I know that, you know, a lot of people around the world listen to this show
444
and they live in large cities and maybe you live in a big city
445
or maybe you're listening
446
and you work in an office where you have the kind of job where you're inside all day
447
or on your feet taking care of people all day.
448
I really want you to pay attention to this particular technique because it's going to be especially helpful to you.
449
because you know that feeling when you finally step outside
450
and take your first real breath of fresh air all day
451
and you're like oh my gosh I feel like I just
452
escaped from the crypt oh okay I'm out of there we're
453
free people you know in fact you know I told you I took a walk yesterday that's for real
454
and I went outside and I was with my sister-in-law Christine who's our chief operating officer
455
and I turned to her
456
and I just said this is incredible we should make this
457
mandatory every single day there are people walking around we got
458
an ice cream cone in the middle of the day there is a blue sky the breeze was blowing
459
and just noticing those things it shifts something in you so why I wait until your brain is completely fried.
460
Use the research to feel better every single day.
461
And if you are fried, like I have been feeling fried, use this research to feel better every single day.
462
When I step back in from that walk, and so we're combining Dr. Suzuki's 10-minute walk research here, along with Dr. Alter's research,
463
where you really wanna notice.
464
Don't go out there and stare at your phone.
465
Step outside and notice.
466
I was a fundamentally different Mel Robbins when I came back into the office.
467
The fog was lifted.
468
I felt more energized.
469
My mood was different.
470
And the rest of the day was different.
471
This is such an easy thing to try.
472
See, life is hard, but making yourself feel a little better doesn't have to be hard.
473
Or you could just put a beautiful plant on your desk
474
or buy some fresh flowers at the grocery store and put them in a little jar next to your computer.
475
This one's my personal favorite.
476
I love, love, love fresh flowers.
477
I always have one right on the windowsill by my computer.
478
Open the window.
479
Take out your headphones when you're walking to work and listen.
480
And I mean, really listen.
481
Listen to the birds, to the rain.
482
Listen to the wind.
483
Listen to the kids laughing as you walk past that playground.
484
Whatever is around you, listen.
485
Because when your brain is overloaded, you just need to give your brain something else to focus on.
486
Not the phone call, the screen, the emails, the texts, the meeting, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
487
Something different.
488
Something new.
489
Now we're going to talk about the fourth thing that you can do to feel better fast.
490
And this one addresses something that I saw in so many of your fellow listeners responding to that question, what do you need help with right now?
491
And what you need help with is you're tired of being so serious all the time.
492
You're tired of being responsible for everyone and holding everything together.
493
And more than anything else, you're just sick and tired of being hard on yourself.
494
You look in the mirror and you start putting yourself down.
495
And even when you accomplish something, you're so quick to move the goalpost and move on to what's next
496
and not even savor the thing that you just did right.
497
Come on, what is going on with you and me?
498
Not everything has to be that deep for crying out loud.
499
When do we all get so freaking serious?
500
No wonder we're all exhausted.
501
We're constantly beating the hell out of ourselves.
502
I mean, you'd never talk to your kids like that, right?
503
So why do you talk to yourself like that?
504
And there's a shift that you need to make.
505
You need to stop waiting for somebody else to pick you back up.
506
You need to stop waiting for someone in your life to come along and hype you up.
507
Do you deserve that?
508
Of course you do.
509
We all deserve to be told that you're doing a good job, but you also need to become your own cheerleader.
510
You need to remind yourself that not everything is that deep.
511
Not everything is worth your attention for crying out loud.
512
And by gosh, you're doing a darn good job at the things you are doing.
513
That the person that looks at you and says, I got you.
514
You're amazing.
515
Look how far you come.
516
That person needs to be you.
517
You need to remind yourself.
518
You're allowed to have fun because if we're not having fun, of course, everything's going to feel heavy.
519
You're allowed to wake up and think, what kind of shenanigans are we gonna get into today?
520
In fact, you need to remind yourself that you've gotta get into some more shenanigans and trouble.
521
And the one person that could probably do that in a way
522
that makes you laugh as she does is none other than Chelsea Handler.
523
Chelsea is hilarious.
524
I mean, obviously, she's one of the most successful comedians of all time, but underneath all that humor is something really powerful.
525
She has learned how to have her own back.
526
And when I read her New York Times bestselling book, I'll have what she's having.
527
There's one passage that I couldn't help but cry reading.
528
Because she wrote about becoming for herself what she'd spent her entire life trying to be for everyone else.
529
How to become her own best friend, her own cheerleader, her own best listener.
530
Here is Chelsea Handler on the Mel Robbins podcast, reading that passage from her book to you
531
and then you're going to hear us unpack what that actually means
532
and how you can become
533
that best friend for yourself too i became for myself what
534
i've tried to be for every important person in my life
535
my own best friend my own cheerleader my own listener my
536
mother my sister i became my own daughter how do you do
537
that for yourself you have to love yourself and you have You have to wake up every single day and say,
538
I know you high five yourself in the mirror every day.
539
I wake up every single day.
540
I look in the mirror and I say, what kind of shenanigans are we going to get up to today?
541
You beautiful human being.
542
You literally say that.
543
I say that.
544
Yes.
545
I mean, there are mornings I don't say it, but I say, I said it this morning.
546
I say to myself all the time, you're amazing.
547
If I see a mirror, I'm like, you're amazing.
548
Look what you've done.
549
You're incredible.
550
Who the fuck else is going to tell us that every day?
551
We have to, and we all as women, and to the woman that is listening to this,
552
you know, we have to make sure that we remind ourselves every day of our intrinsic and innate value.
553
We are so valuable just by the nature of us being here is value, and we can add so much value to so many people's lives.
554
And it doesn't matter if you're a famous person or you're a public person.
555
You have the ability to do that as a private person with a quieter life.
556
Every time you see a new person on the street, you can smile at them with love in your eyes.
557
You can see somebody going through a hard time at the airport and come over and be like, do you need help?
558
Can I help you?
559
The person that's working in the airport bathroom to smile and say, how are you doing?
560
Are you having a good day?
561
I always think that's easy to do when you're in a good mood.
562
But when you're in a bad mood, to extend your generosity when you don't fucking feel like it, that's like next level.
563
I just love Chelsea.
564
And there are two things, did you notice, that she was teaching you?
565
The first is, number one, you have to become the person who has your own back.
566
Not once in a while.
567
Not only when things are going well.
568
Every single day.
569
You have to be the one who looks in the mirror and says, I got you.
570
I got you.
571
You're doing better than you think.
572
I mean, look at how far you've come.
573
You are amazing.
574
And look, I know that feels kind of weird and cringy and awkward, but do it anyway.
575
Because do you want to spend your whole life saying the opposite to yourself?
576
Hoping that someone else is going to just kind of waltz in and tell you the things that you deserve to hear?
577
Don't do that.
578
Remind yourself.
579
Tell yourself the things you want to hear.
580
And the second thing that I want to make sure that you really take away from this, because it's just as powerful,
581
when you're stuck in a bad mood, stop making the entire world about your bad mood.
582
Look up.
583
Ask somebody for help.
584
Help someone else.
585
Notice someone.
586
Smile at someone.
587
Help someone.
588
Hold the door open for someone.
589
Ask someone else, are you okay?
590
Because the fastest way out of your own head is to put some love into the world around you.
591
The fastest way to stop marinating in your own bad mood
592
is to look around and see if you can help someone else.
593
And I really want you to try both of these suggestions.
594
I want you to look in the mirror.
595
I want you to tell yourself, I got you.
596
I see you, we got this, you're doing a great job, and I want you, when you catch yourself in a bad mood, do not turn the entire world into a bad mood.
597
Get out of your head and see what you can do for somebody else.
598
It'll shift your mood immediately.
599
And that brings me to the fifth and final feeling I saw over and over and over again, and my favorite piece of advice and the tool that you're gonna get,
600
which is one of my favorite things that have ever been shared on the Mel Robbins podcast.
601
And the fifth feeling is heavy because you're feeling scared.
602
You feel uncertain.
603
You feel sad about the future.
604
I mean, some of your fellow listeners wrote in, what would you tell someone who's lost their focus and their vision for their own life?
605
Someone else wrote, I'm completely lost.
606
I don't know what I'm meant to do in my life.
607
or even where to start.
608
I'm feeling called to change.
609
I'm so unhappy though, and I don't even know how to begin.
610
I want to succeed, but I don't know how, and it's stressing me out.
611
How can I find myself again?
612
Ah.
613
One of the things that really struck me is how many of you want change.
614
You want a sense of direction, but you don't know where to start.
615
And I think a lot of times when you get stuck in a chapter of your life
616
or you get stuck thinking about how bad you feel,
617
all you're doing is spinning in place because all you see is where you're standing.
618
And that's why it's so easy to start to convince yourself that you don't know where to start.
619
But maybe the real question isn't, where do I start?
620
Maybe the real question is, where am I going?
621
And that brings me to the final expert I want to introduce you to.
622
Because without a destination in mind, it's really hard to step up to the starting line.
623
Of course you don't know how to start because you don't know where you're going.
624
And without having a final destination that you can envision, it's impossible to create a set of directions from where you are to where you want to go next.
625
And that brings me to the final expert from the Mel Robbins podcast
626
that I am so excited for you to listen to.
627
Because Dr. Martha Beck has an extraordinary tool that is backed by science.
628
She has been using this for decades to help you right now envision where you want to go in the future.
629
Dr. Martha Beck is one of the most respected life coaches in the world.
630
She holds three degrees from Harvard, is a six-time New York Times bestselling author, and is famously known as Oprah's life coach.
631
Dr. Martha Beck has an extraordinarily powerful exercise that she calls the ideal day.
632
And the reason why I wanted you to experience this exercise live right now is
633
because it is the tool based on research
634
that not only helps you step up to
635
and over the starting line by the time you are done
636
with this exercise you will have a clear picture of a future
637
that really makes you come alive and dr martha beck is going to walk you through this simple exercise
638
where you just close your eyes and you picture one perfect ideal day.
639
And I want you to do it with me right now.
640
Don't overthink it.
641
Don't question.
642
Don't ask yourself, how's it all gonna happen?
643
I want you to just take a deep breath and listen.
644
Let your intuition answer.
645
Let your senses come alive.
646
Here is Dr. Martha Beck walking you through the ideal day exercise.
647
The ideal day.
648
It's really simple.
649
And now you're grounded in your body.
650
This is the track.
651
We have to follow the track.
652
This is how you track forward.
653
How far would you like to go in the future?
654
We're going to do time travel.
655
So you, I don't do hypotheticals.
656
I want to know what you're going to do.
657
I immediately thought a decade, 10 years.
658
Okay.
659
Think about, you don't have to say it.
660
Think about the age you'll be and the age your husband, your children will be.
661
Sort of move your mind forward like a calendar.
662
Now, here are the instructions.
663
Your life is absolutely what it was meant to be.
664
Every expression of your greatest joy and your greatest fulfillment.
665
You're going to wake up on a day that is an ordinary day in a perfect life, in an ideal life.
666
So what I'm going to do is I'll prompt you with a few things.
667
And I want you to let your senses answer these questions, not your mind.
668
So your mind can't time travel.
669
It will tell you it can, but it can't.
670
Only the body can time travel.
671
And this is how it goes.
672
You wake up on this morning and you don't even open your eyes.
673
You listen.
674
What do you hear on this day, an ordinary day in your perfect life in 2034?
675
What do you hear?
676
I hear waves and I hear little kids laughing.
677
Okay.
678
So smell the air.
679
Don't open your eyes.
680
What do you smell?
681
Salt.
682
Coffee.
683
I'm seeing a theme here.
684
All right.
685
Open your eyes.
686
Look at the sheets.
687
What color are they?
688
white look at the floor what does it look like wood
689
yeah it's a wide planked wood floor that's sort of uh
690
it's kind of um it's not shiny it's like worn cool look over across from you in the bed
691
who's there
692
if anyone loaded question okay great um look at the look
693
at the room what do you see the whole room um
694
it's very um like uh like just kind of modern and unfussy and beautiful and
695
are there photographs on the walls no there was a there's like a painting
696
or a photograph okay what does it look like it's um
697
it was like a big beach scene ah this theme is strong It's very strong.
698
All right.
699
Are there windows in the room?
700
There's one.
701
Okay.
702
Get up and go to the window and look out.
703
Okay.
704
What do you see?
705
Your life is perfect.
706
What do you see?
707
The ocean.
708
Okay.
709
It could also be like the Alps and the Sahara.
710
Like you can see anything.
711
There are no rules here.
712
Okay.
713
It's just imagination.
714
Yeah.
715
But you see the ocean.
716
Mm-hmm.
717
Is it like a tropical ocean or is it northern?
718
No, it's sort of northern.
719
Okay.
720
Rocky or just sandy?
721
Don't think.
722
It's just the ocean.
723
Cool.
724
All right.
725
So you go into your bathroom.
726
It's the perfect bathroom.
727
Look at the design of everything in the bathroom.
728
And then look at yourself in the mirror.
729
And you are your healthiest, most radiant, physically fit self.
730
Take that in.
731
You are looking fabulous.
732
Yes.
733
And so you do your morning stuff, take a shower or whatever.
734
Then you go to your closet and open the door.
735
This is very important.
736
The clothes in your closet reflect everything you do in your perfect life because you have to wear different things.
737
So I always ask people, look at the shoes.
738
What kinds of shoes do you have?
739
Oh, they're all like flip-flops and Birkenstocks.
740
No, like strappy sandals with stiletto heels?
741
Nope.
742
hiking boots.
743
Not at this house.
744
Oh, you have more than one house.
745
See how that came in?
746
This is fabulous.
747
So this is your beach house, clearly.
748
And you do not do formal wear at the beach house.
749
So what you're going to do now, Chris is still in the bed, maybe you go into the kitchen and you walk through this house.
750
As you walk through the house, see if there are pictures of events that have happened.
751
And like right now, I can see a picture behind you of a wonderful family trip to the ocean.
752
Look for the pictures that have been taken in the years between 2024 and 2034.
753
Two weddings.
754
Awesome.
755
Yeah.
756
Cool.
757
Well.
758
Grandbabies.
759
Oh, good.
760
Is it their laughter you can hear?
761
Yeah.
762
Oh, I thought so.
763
I love it.
764
I love that.
765
Can you feel that you are creating this future as we go through this?
766
You are out of anxiety and into imagination.
767
And the tears in your eyes tell me it's real.
768
You're finding your purpose right now.
769
And the things that bring tears to your eyes are the real purpose.
770
Forget career, forget money, forget all that bullshit.
771
When you're dying, it's the pictures of your grandkids you're going to look at.
772
Like it's the hugs they give you.
773
It's stuff that society says isn't valuable because there's no money attached to it.
774
That's bullshit.
775
When I walk people through this, we go through the whole day.
776
Who's in the kitchen?
777
And walk all the way.
778
I won't do it now because it would take the whole session.
779
But you go through the whole morning and see.
780
I'll ask you, what do you do in the mornings?
781
Well, you know what's interesting is I walk the beach.
782
I have a big thing of water.
783
I practice yoga.
784
I read on the porch.
785
Who's there?
786
I'm just hanging my family and my parents.
787
Oh, that's...
788
Can you feel how free that is?
789
Yeah.
790
Like, because you've done so much in the world that says, you know, be a lawyer, be that.. all that stuff
791
that was harsh and cruel and sort of tried to knock the sentimentality out of you, it was pushing you away from your purpose and into fear, into anxiety.
792
Because when we leave the track of our joy, a natural response is to be terrified.
793
And then we get stuck in that spiral and we can't come back.
794
But when you begin to create, which you just did, with your senses and your imagination, not verbal mind.
795
Don't be counting things and measuring how it's going to happen.
796
No. That's all left hemisphere thinking.
797
Senses and joy.
798
That's how you track your future.
799
And as you track it, you create it.
800
I wanted to ask you about the senses.
801
Yeah.
802
Because what happens when you tap into that creativity and you really navigate through a day like that using only senses.
803
Because I did catch myself at times, and I'm sure as you were listening and you were imagining your ideal day, you caught yourself thinking too.
804
Oh, yeah.
805
Yeah.
806
And it takes you out of the feel.
807
Yeah.
808
Why do the senses matter and why do they help you unlock your sense of purpose
809
and joy and tap into this creativity?
810
I'm so glad you asked.
811
And again, I don't want to get all sciencey here.
812
Don't please.
813
But the left hemisphere of the brain, which is glorified by our society,
814
that left hemisphere is what talks and counts and measures time and thinks of problems and tries to get what it wants.
815
And it's very fear-based.
816
So it gets stuck in anxiety.
817
When you go to the senses, if I asked you, imagine the taste of lemon, immediately the right hemisphere would start to light up.
818
The senses and our sense of being in place activate the right hemisphere, and so does imagination.
819
And creativity sums it all up.
820
So any artist is just in the present moment, very much in contact with what we're making, and not stuck in fear at all.
821
The interesting thing is that after you come out of a session of that, because your right hemisphere doesn't track time, and you go back into the verbal left hemisphere,
822
it will say, well, that was nothing.
823
That didn't even happen.
824
There was no time.
825
I don't know what you were doing.
826
What is that about?
827
So when you say, you know, I say, oh, yeah, bliss and white light and everything, and you're like, how does that add up?
828
It's the right hemisphere that gives us our sense of meaning, our sense of connection, our sense of joy, and the mind that goes,
829
ah, no. That actually is a completely different part of the brain.
830
But as I said, anxiety shuts down creativity, but creativity shuts down anxiety.
831
So while you were doing the ideal day, how anxious were you?
832
Zero.
833
Yeah.
834
Nothing.
835
Yeah.
836
Just pure feeling.
837
Yeah.
838
Some scientists, some psychologists set out to discover why we have all species on earth.
839
There's a certain proportion of us that take our own lives on purpose.
840
No other animal does that that we know of.
841
And the answer to why we do that is language.
842
Because of the way we think in language and time,
843
we can construct a future that is so painful to live with that it outweighs our fear of death.
844
A structure made of nothing but words and thoughts can torture us until we want to die.
845
And I lived that way for about 32 years.
846
And then I decided I was going to live in the awareness of that light.
847
I love that last sentence.
848
I decided I was going to live in the awareness of that light.
849
Incredible.
850
And you know what's so powerful about that exercise?
851
Is that when you open your eyes, you're still in your present life.
852
but the picture in your mind has changed.
853
And when the picture in your mind changes, how you feel right now changes too.
854
And that's exactly what Dr. Martha Beck means when she says,
855
in this ideal day, you are out of anxiety and into imagination because you've stopped questioning.
856
How's this ever gonna work?
857
I can't start.
858
I don't know what to do.
859
And instead, you start asking, what do I hear?
860
What do I smell? Who is beside me?
861
What do I see?
862
What photographs are around me?
863
Who's laughing?
864
It helps you to stop feeding the fear and drop into your senses and create a different future.
865
And that was the whole point of this episode, to help you to feel different.
866
Just five simple things that you can do to shift how you feel,
867
to shift your mood, to clear away the weight any single time you need to.
868
And I just want to say, I'm so proud of you.
869
I'm so proud of you for taking this time for yourself and listening to something that's going to make you feel better.
870
because you deserve to feel better.
871
And while life may feel very complicated, the things that you can do right now are pretty simple.
872
And while things may feel very hard, it is kind of easy to make yourself feel just a little bit better.
873
Even in those moments when you don't feel like yourself,
874
that stronger, clearer, and more energized version of you, you're still in there.
875
And these five tools help you tap back into that.
876
And in case no one else tells you today, as your friend, I wanted to be sure to tell you
877
that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.
878
And there is no doubt in my mind that
879
if you do these simple things to make yourself feel better in your day-to-day life, your life will in fact get better.
880
All right, I'll see you in the very next episode.
881
I'm going to welcome you in the moment you hit play.
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Cosa imparerai
Questo video ti aiuterà a migliorare due abilità chiave per parlare inglese con confidenza: la comprensione del discorso spontaneo (come le pause e le ripetizioni naturali di un podcast) e la abilità di riprodurre l'intonazione di un discorso empatico. Inoltre, imparerai a identificare espressioni colloquiali come "blown away" o "funk", utili per descrivere stati d'animo in contesti reali. Tutte queste competenze sono perfette per il shadowspeak, una tecnica efficace per imitare e internalizzare il linguaggio inglese.
Ascolta questi suoni
Nella conversazione, nota come le parole si legano tra loro: ad esempio, "it would make me" diventa "it'd make me" (riduzione di "would" a "'d") e "you're not a subscriber" si trasforma in "you're not a subscri'ber" (elisioni della "b" finale). Queste connessioni sono tipiche del discorso quotidiano e aiutano a capire meglio il flusso dell'inglese. Anche le pause, come quelle dopo "okay" o "so", sono importanti: indicano il ritmo naturale di una conversazione e possono essere imitate con il shadow speech per rendere il tuo parlato più fluido.
Parla come un madrelingua
Per imitare il tono di Mel Robbins, focalizzati sulla stressazione delle parole chiave: "58%", "subscribers", "feel better" sono enfatizzate per creare impatto. La sua intonazione sale quando chiede un favore ("Will you help me?") e scende quando conclude un punto ("you deserve to feel better"), trasmettono emozione e convinzione. Prova a ripetere le frasi a voce alta, seguendo il suo ritmo: pausa dopo i numeri, accelera nelle parti narrative e rallenta nelle domande. Questo esercizio, insieme all'uso di video per imparare l'inglese, ti aiuterà a migliorare la pronuncia inglese e a rendere il tuo parlato più naturale. Ricorda: il segreto è l'impegno costante e l'osservazione attenta ai dettagli!
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | you've been dealing · we've been talking · I've been experiencing |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | we've analyzed · have appeared · has ever been shared |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is lit · been shared · has been reported |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | saying, which is · listeners, which is · scrolling, which is |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.