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When was the last time that you felt fully, fully, deeply rested?
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According to research done by Garmin, nearly 70 % of their users had either fair or poor sleep scores.
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So it's no surprise that we end up constantly feeling depleted or on the brink of burnout, looped into these vicious cycles of toxic productivity or hustle culture.
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And as someone who's survived this hustle culture and come back from the brink of burnout, I've learned that you can genuinely do almost everything restfully,
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including work, and move through your day with ease and enjoyment.
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tech co -founder and Cambridge trained doctor
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and on this channel we explore the strategies and mindsets to help you create a life that you love.
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In this video I'll be going through three toxic beliefs about rest
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and productivity that I've had to unlearn
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and I'll share exactly how I've learned to reframe
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and reclaim them to actually be able to relax and regulate my nervous system.
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So without further ado let's dive right in.
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The first belief I've had to unlearn is that rest is unproductive
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and I only deserve it after I work my butt off.
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This was a limiting belief that I was very rudely during my pregnancy and postpartum.
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About a year ago, I had a baby, and during especially the last stages of pregnancy and then the few months postpartum, I was just so exhausted.
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But one thing I noticed is that I kept fighting against myself, I kept telling myself in my mind, oh, like I should get up and do something productive,
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or basically do anything other than just rest.
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And it wasn't until both my husband and my mum pointed out, why do you feel like you need to be working?
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You've literally just had a baby.
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Your job is to rest right now and to recover.
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interesting.
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And so I did some journaling and thinking about it and I realized that underneath this drive to constantly be productive, to be working, to be not resting,
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is this judgment that oh actually resting is not being productive.
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Something that you just do in order to then be productive.
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And I actually realized that this is rooted in deeply ingrained capitalist values where we are taught from a young age.
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We need to study hard, we need to get good grades, go to uni, get a then we can be happy.
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And this mindset is very helpful for a capitalist society
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because it encourages all the members of society to push themselves to generate more and more economic output.
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With this underlying toxic belief of, oh, the more that I work, the more useful I am, and the more useful I am, then the more value I have,
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and then I can actually be safe and loved and cared for if I'm valuable.
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The problem with this mindset is that it prioritizes productive reward.
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But if you're a bit like me and work gets super busy sometimes, often rest gets pushed back because our to -do lists never seem to end
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and kind of keep extending and we keep adding more things to our plate
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and so then we never really make that time to really enjoy our lives.
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And so during these later stages of pregnancy and early postpartum when I wasn't really able to do much work, I often had a narrative in my mind that I was being lazy and useless just laying about.
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But then I also realized that I have loaded the word useless with a negative value judgment.
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If you look around in there are a lot of things that don't have a clear use, and that they're not being used by somebody.
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Additionally, let's just take the example of my baby.
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She is arguably somewhat useless in that she needs so much help from all of us, she doesn't produce any economic output right now,
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she mostly sleeps and eats and plays and walks around and cries and basically does that on repeat every single day.
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In eastern philosophy there's something known as the parable of the crooked tree which is famously attributed to the Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi,
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and this is one of my favorite parables because it really highlights this whole thing of useful
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and his apprentice are looking for trees for wood in order to be able to carve things from.
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And they come across this massive ancient oak tree with branches
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so crooked and twisted that no straight planks of wood could possibly be cut from it.
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The apprentice is amazed by the tree, but the master carpenter doesn't even give this crooked tree a second glance and walks right past it.
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And when the apprentice asks, "Oh, what about this tree?" the master carpenter calls it useless and worthless.
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The tree explains that it's precisely because society doesn't find it useful
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that it has gotten the chance to grow this large and majestic and old.
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Because all the other useful trees that grew straight
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and had useful wood end up being chopped down and turned into useful things.
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hold these capitalist values, which I haven't necessarily actively chosen for myself.
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If I tried to be useful all the time, what would that get me?
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That would get me burned out, miserable, exhausted, and living a totally unbalanced life.
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And so then when I look at my baby or myself, and I notice, oh, right now we are actually not being useful in any way.
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We're not trying to be useful.
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Rest is actually one of the highest ROI to return on investment things that you can possibly things with your life.
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In her best -selling book Sacred Rest, Dr. Sondra Dalton -Smith talks about seven types of rest.
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First category is physical rest, so this includes passive, such as sleeping or napping, but also active, like yoga or stretching.
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The second category is mental rest, so this is taking breaks, slowing down, mindfulness, rest for your brain, essentially, and this will mean switching off from social media.
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The third type is sensory rest, which is resting your senses, reducing your sensory inputs, avoiding overstimulation, maybe going without music or no podcast,
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or not watching TV or not watching something on your screen all the time.
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The fourth type is creative rest which is reawakening a sense of awe
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and wonder and inspiration and passion and this might be in the form of art or nature.
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The fifth type is emotional rest which is time and space to really express your feelings, being authentic and honest.
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The sixth type is social rest so spending less time on exhausting relationships
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and more time with supportive people who actually leave you love,
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acceptance, and purpose may be found in prayer, meditation, community, and connection.
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And I've started actively incorporating elements from each of these seven into my own life.
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If you'd like to do the same, I've actually created a completely free resource pack with a bunch
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of ideas for ways to rest in each of these seven subtypes.
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So if you'd like to check it out, I've popped a link in the description down below.
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One common objection to resting is, "Oh, what if I don't have time to rest?
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I don't have time to meditate for 20 minutes, or like, once said this to me, you should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day unless you're too busy.
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Then you should sit for an hour.
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One thing that I personally struggled with in the last couple of months was work spilling out into rest time.
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So work spilling into evenings, into early mornings, spilling into weekends, spilling into family time.
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But I've learned that rest needs to be viewed as sacred, protected time that cannot be impinged on by work.
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And actually a lot of religions do this, helps you to actually build a sustainable life rhythm.
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The second limiting belief is that I cannot possibly be ambitious while also being relaxed and rested.
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Because for a long time my brain and body learned to tie ambition and working hard with feeling stressed and tense.
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And it almost became a thing where if I wasn't feeling stressed I'd think oh maybe I'm not working hard enough.
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So let's go through a little bit of neurobiology first.
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Our nervous systems are divided into two main parts: the sympathetic part and the parasympathetic part.
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light response.
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So heart rate goes up, adrenaline and cortisol go up, and you breathe faster, because all of these mean
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that the body is ready to either attack or run away when it comes across a threat.
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Then you have the parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge generally of resting and digesting, because it activates when there are no threats and we're actually free to relax and rest.
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The problem is that for a lot of us, our brains keep perceiving daily stresses as a bit threatening, and so we often get locked into a sympathetic activation.
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There was a book that I read in
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medical school called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Dr. Sapolsky
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and he talks about how whenever zebras encounter let's say a lion
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or a predator in the savannah they experience a lot of stress
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and their sympathetic nervous system kicks in there in fight or flight or mostly just flight.
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Very soon after when the threat is gone, when the lion has been left behind or heads off somewhere else, the zebras will almost immediately calm right back down again
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and he wrote that this is often because we create mental stress for ourselves.
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The zebras they're not constantly that's gonna show up tomorrow, so then I need to think about what I'm gonna do when the lion comes.
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But we as humans often do, and we often borrow worry from the future.
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We borrow fear and stress from the future and bring it into every single present moment.
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And so here were a couple of shifts that really helped me.
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One thing is just a reminder to myself that
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if something is already beyond my control or the ball is not in my court, to not worry about it.
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For example, let's say if I've put in an offer on something and I'm waiting to hear back, actually taking it off my mental plate for a while.
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A quote from the Relaxed Woman, which I love, is, there's nothing you can do right as well relax.
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Another thing that really helps me is my journal and
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so actually I keep my journal right next to my bed
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and before bed I will often brain dump to close any of my open tabs
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if something comes up while I'm trying to sleep at night.
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Instead of just thinking oh like I will worry about
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that tomorrow but then my brain's still kind of keeping it as an open tab
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because it's like oh I don't want to forget about this.
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My journal is right there so I just open it straight away
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and I write down the thing that I was thinking about
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and I just tell myself I'm gonna see this tomorrow
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when I wake up so I can totally let go of it right now.
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And this is related to something called the
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open loops and open tabs keep our brain activated and thinking about it until we have closed that loop.
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And so then in as many areas as possible in my life, trying to close loops, close open tabs, to be able to ease that mental load.
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When I was juggling all these different areas of my life at once, even the smallest tasks like sending messages or quick updates to the team started to add stress onto the plate.
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And that's where Whisperflow came in handy, and they're very kindly sponsoring today's video.
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Whisperflow is a voice -to -text tool that works across every app that you already use, Slack on both Mac and Windows.
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I've been using it for the last couple of months on my Mac
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and it's completely changed how I get thoughts out of my head and onto the screen.
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If you've ever tried to type the speed of thinking, you'll realize actually there's a big slowdown between your brain and your fingers.
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And so here, let me actually show you.
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I'm going to message my YouTube producer right now.
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And so I simply start recording by pressing the FN key.
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Hey, callers, just checking in on the outline for our next video.
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The nervous system one, did you?
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Actually, Wait, before that, did you manage to find the Sapolsky book on zebras?
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Um, I want to make sure that we're including that one in the video.
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Oh, and let's push the editing deadline to Thursday morning, not Wednesday like we said.
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Thanks!
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So as you can see, Whisperflow did a pretty neat job of cleaning up every um and ah, it handled the mid -sentence correction without me having to start over,
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and it even spelled "Cawless" and "Sapolsky" correctly.
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And this is a big level up over what standard native voice dictation does, because trust me, I've tried it and it would have butchered the names
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and left all of the filler words and corrections in.
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If you want to check out Whisperflow, there's a link in my description and a code that gets you one month of Whisperflow Pro for free.
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So now let's get back and relaxation, and especially in the context of being a mum.
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Because if you're an ambitious woman, and also a mum, in the daytime you're doing your work, in the mornings and evenings and weekends you're spending time with your baby,
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there isn't very much time to actually have you time.
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People often talk about doing it all, but I really don't believe that anybody can actually do it all, unless you redefine what your all actually is.
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And so that's something that I've been actively doing over the last year or so, is figuring out, okay, what actually are the priorities, and what are my in terms of how I'm spending my time and how I'm feeling.
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And I've realized that I don't want to be rushing through life, I want to be an unhurried woman, I want to be a relaxed woman and feel rested every day.
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And there's a question I like to ask myself these days, of how can I be just 5 % more relaxed in this moment right now?
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There's almost always a way that you can make it slightly more restful if you just ask yourself that question.
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The third limiting belief is I am weak and useless if I can't check and follow up on everything myself.
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is something that is put on a bit of a pedestal, seen as something to be aspired to.
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And to a certain extent I do agree, because it's actually amazing that we're living through one of the most liberating generations that have ever happened for women.
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At the same time, we as humans are fundamentally social beings, and we evolved in tribes of multiple families, where people really depended on each other for support and survival.
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Recently on a flight, I was re -watching one of my favourite movies ever, which is Everything Everywhere All At Once, and in one scene, Evelyn, the main character, was talking to Chad, who's a chef, and Chad was saying to her,
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"Evelyn, I'm useless alone." To which Evelyn responds, "We're all useless alone.
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It's a good thing you're not alone." There's often a voice in my own head which says, "Oh, if I need to reach out for help, then that means that I'm weak, and I'm being a burden on them,
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and I'm annoying them if I don't sort everything out myself."
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But we literally evolved to be in a village and to be in a support network with so many other people.
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For example, I think I'm using a lot of motherhood examples here, that actually doesn't make me weak,
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that just makes me human.
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And this also applies in terms of hiring and delegation.
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When the channel or the business was smaller, it was easy to say, oh, like, I just do everything myself.
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If I want it to be done well, then I do it myself.
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But now at increasing levels of scale, you actually have to delegate.
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Otherwise, you're going to literally go crazy with stress and too much on your plate.
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And so I've learned that it's actually a progressive game of learning to buy back more
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and more of your time in order to be able to actually scale and a life.
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And so those were the three limiting beliefs that I've chosen to unlearn and reclaim for myself around rest.
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Now it's all good and well watching videos like this and feeling inspired, but the most important thing is to actually take action.
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So I'd like to invite you to choose two action points
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that you're taking away from this video that you're going to put into practice starting today.
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And to make sure they stick, I'd like you to write them down somewhere.
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Maybe that's your journal, your notes app, an email, a friend, in the comments down below, wherever.
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If you're stuck on ideas, here are two options.
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Firstly, choose one limiting belief on rest that you might now, maybe one of the three from this video, and sit with it to rewrite and then reclaim it.
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And the second one is to pick one of the seven categories of rest
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and try a single practice from it for the next seven days as a tiny experiment.
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The totally free guide that I've made, which is linked down below, will help if you're not sure where to start.
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If you like this video, I think you'll like this one over here, where I walk you through how to romanticize your evenings after work.
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As always, thank you so much for watching, take care of yourself, and remember that the journey is the destination.
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Feel free to hit subscribe so you don't miss my future videos, and I'll see you in the next one.
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Bye!
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “I Escaped Burnout By Unlearning These 3 Toxic Beliefs”. Questo video contiene 180 frasi e 3043 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 14:50. Chi parla va veloce, circa 205 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 82% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| spill verbo | /spɪl/ | rovesciare, versare |
| reclaim verbo | /ɹɪˈkleɪm/ | reclamare |
| unlearn verbo | /ʌnˈlɝn/ | disimparare |
| crooked aggettivo | /kɹʊkɪd/ | storto, curvo |
| apprentice sostantivo | /əˈpɹɛntɪs/ | apprendista, bardotto |
| capitalist sostantivo | /ˈkæp.ɪ.tə.lɪst/ | capitalista |
| sympathetic aggettivo | /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/ | sensibile |
| tab sostantivo | /tæb/ | linguetta |
| burnout sostantivo | /ˈbɜː(ɹ)naʊt/ | esaurimento, esaurimento nervoso |
| parasympathetic aggettivo | /ˌpɛɹ.ə.sɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/ | parasimpatico |
| brink sostantivo | /ˈbɹɪŋk/ | orlo, bordo |
| sensory aggettivo | /ˈsɛn.sə.ɹi/ | sensoriale |
| hustle verbo | /ˈhʌsəl/ | affrettarsi, darsi da fare |
| carpenter sostantivo | /ˈkɑɹpəntɚ/ | carpentiere, falegname |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire |
| go through verbo | attraversare |
| go up verbo | salire |
| back down verbo | cedere |
| burn out verbo | spegnersi, estinguersi |
| check out verbo | investigare |
| clean up verbo | ripulire |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- When was the last time that you felt fully, fully, deeply rested?
- You've literally just had a baby.
- Additionally, let's just take the example of my baby.
- We're not trying to be useful.
- The nervous system one, did you?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | if I wasn't feeling stressed I'd think |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've learned · I've had · have loaded |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is rooted · be cut · is amazed |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | tree which is · rest, which is · rest which is |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 83 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I've, I'm, you're. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, parasympathetic /ˌpɛɹ.ə.sɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, worthless /ˈwɜːθ.ləs/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, corrections /kəˈɹɛkʃənz/, relaxation /rᵻˌlækˈseɪ.ʃən/, objection /əbˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: capitalist /ˈkæp.ɪ.tə.lɪst/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, parasympathetic /ˌpɛɹ.ə.sɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, productivity /ˌpɹɒdʌkˈtɪvəti/, adrenaline /əˈdɹɛnəlɪn/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: crooked /kɹʊkɪd/, apprentice /əˈpɹɛntɪs/, capitalist /ˈkæp.ɪ.tə.lɪst/, sympathetic /ˌsɪm.pəˈθɛt.ɪk/, exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: capitalist /ˈkæp.ɪ.tə.lɪst/, tab /tæb/, activate /ˈæktɪˌveɪt/, ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, relaxation /rᵻˌlækˈseɪ.ʃən/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come spill, reclaim, unlearn.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.