Pratica di Shadowing: If you want something to change, change how you're approaching it - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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We all get stuck in loops where we desperately feel as though we want things to change in our lives, whether it's in our relationships, our work life, our free time.
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But I've noticed that there are two big mistakes
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that we tend to make when we're trying to make change in our lives.
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And these mistakes keep us stuck in these loops where nothing ever does actually change.
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So if we can break free from this loop, we can live lives that are happier, more fulfilling, and just easier in general.
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We can live lives where positive changes actually do happen.
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And if you implement what I'm going to talk about in today's video, you're going to feel as though you're more in control of your lives,
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as opposed to your life being in control of you.
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The concept of today's video is about noticing
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when something needs to change in our lives
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but we keep coming up against this brick wall and we're going to talk about why changing your approach is the answer.
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I'm going to share exactly how you can change your approach, the things that you should focus on changing
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and you can apply this to any change
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that you want to make in your life or any area of your life that's currently giving you some problems.
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So let's start with a story.
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I got inspired to make this video because of something I experienced in my own life.
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Now whether you're a parent or not you are going to understand this story so stick with me.
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So recently Alex and I have been struggling with my son's behaviour, Nate's behaviour.
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He's four and a half years old and he's been getting really tricky, quite aggressive, talking back to us,
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not listening, not doing anything we say, running away in public, really tough behavior.
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And we've been so focused on trying to teach him what is right and wrong and change his behavior,
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not get him to hit us, not get him to spit.
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But one day we just said to each other, this is not working.
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What we're doing, whatever we are doing right now, it's not working.
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We need to change how we are approaching this situation.
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and so we did a lot of research on different parenting styles
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and found what we thought would work for us and
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that aligned with our values overnight we completely changed
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and shifted our parenting style and we had the best day Nate's behavior in just that one day completely changed
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and I looked at Alex at the end of the day
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and I said to him what changed today like what was different about today
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because Nate's behavior was great and he looked back at me
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and he said we changed I was asking him knowing the answer myself as well
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because I knew I knew it was it was us we
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changed how we approached it we changed our responses we changed our the way that we spoke we changed our mindset,
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we changed how we view the whole situation, we changed our actions, our behaviors, we changed and then our situation changed.
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And this is what inspired me to make this video
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because I realized that this can be applied to anywhere in your life, whether you are dealing with relationships at work,
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whether you're dealing with other people, or if you're just dealing with something that you really want to change in your life, but you haven't been able to,
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what I'm about to teach you, you can apply this to any area of your life.
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And it is so important that we realize that we do have control over things.
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Like I talk so much about what we can and can't control on this channel, because it is so important to focus on what we can control.
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but a lot of the time we can be in a
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situation where we we think wow there is absolutely nothing I
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can do here I have no control over this situation
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and in psychology I believe I believe this might be called learned helplessness
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when we really feel as though we just don't have any control over the outcome of our situation
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but if we really stop and think about it there are several things that we can always control in any given situation.
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So I'm going to talk to you about those things in a moment.
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But before I do, I just want you to kind of have in mind,
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maybe a situation or something that is going on in your life right now that you would like to change, or that you've been trying to change for a while,
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but you just keep coming up against a brick wall.
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Maybe have that in your mind as I'm talking through this.
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So you can really think about your own situation and how you can apply these tips to your own life.
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So before I tell you what you can do to change your approach to any given situation, I just want to highlight the two mistakes that we often do.
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The first is that we repeat.
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We repeat the same behaviors.
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We repeat the same mindset.
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We repeat the same actions.
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We repeat, repeat, repeat, and then nothing changes.
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And that's us getting stuck in this loop.
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We just keep doing the same thing, expecting for a different result and it never happens.
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So that is the number one, the number one mistake that I'm trying to highlight with this video is that we have to get out of that loop.
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And by getting out of that loop, we change our approach, which is how, what I'm going to teach you in a second.
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The second big mistake that I think I've noticed a lot is that when we want something to change, we're often, if it has to do with someone else,
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we're often trying to focus too much on the other person, what we can change about them.
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Whereas that is a huge mistake and we really should be focusing on what we change about ourselves.
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The greatest thing about changing yourself and your mindset,
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your behaviors, your actions, your beliefs is that that ends up having an effect on the people around you.
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So it is an ethical way in changing other people.
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We change ourselves and then that has a ripple on effect to everyone else in our lives.
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It might not necessarily happen instantly but it will happen with time.
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People will begin to learn your new behaviours, your new actions and you will start to model the behaviour that you want to see from others as well.
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So with that being said, let's now focus on what you can change in any given situation and how you can change your approach.
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So there are one, two, three, four things I want to cover here.
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The first, which I've mentioned a little bit, is about changing your mindset.
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And I think this is the most important thing.
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When you look at a problem in your life, when you look at something that you want to change in your life, the most important thing is to question your current mindset on it.
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how do you currently perceive that situation
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and I'll give you an example just for a little bit
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of context let's look back at the example of how my son was behaving
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and how we were viewing
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that situation we were viewing it from the eyes of we have to change him
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and we have to change his behavior we have to teach him a different way
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when we changed our mindset to okay let's let's let's view it from it's not a him problem, it's actually an us problem.
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Like we are the problem.
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It wasn't about, you know, blaming us or making us feel bad as parents, but we were just saying we're not,
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we're trying our hardest, but it's not working right now and we have to change what we're doing so our situation changes.
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And so just question where your mindset is at the moment.
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Are you focusing on things that you can't control?
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If you are, notice it, change your mindset and say, now I'm going to start focusing on things I can control.
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If your mindset has a really strong negative bias, you are focusing on everything,
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the problem, everything that might go wrong in the given situation, everything that could go wrong.
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If you take a certain action, how can you change your mindset so that you can start focusing on the solutions?
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what could go right so how are you currently viewing your problematic situation
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and is that current mindset serving you
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or not another thing worth mentioning here is
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that our mindset we can often be stuck in a place of blame
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if things in our lives aren't changing sometimes we can be stuck in a place of blame
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because maybe maybe it is someone else's fault that you're in a certain situation.
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The problem with being stuck in blame, even if it is someone else's fault, is that that blame doesn't help you.
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It doesn't get you out of your problem.
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It doesn't change the situation.
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It doesn't make it better.
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It just makes you feel angry.
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It just keeps you kind of stuck in that loop of blaming someone else for the situation and nothing changing.
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So that's That's another mindset to look out for in situations that you want to change.
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Yes, it might be someone else's problem that you are in the situation that you are in, but it's not serving you to be stuck there blaming someone else.
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So think about the situation and say, okay, what can I control here?
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Where do I have control?
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And what can I do?
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What is one small step forward that I can do to help my situation?
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And with that being said, I want you guys to understand this really important distinction that I've spoken about before.
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When we want to see change in our lives, often we just don't know how we're going to get there.
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And you go, how am I going to get from A to Z?
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How?
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I'm here to tell you that you don't need to know how.
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Okay.
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You don't need to know how to get from A to Z.
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You don't need to know what that journey is exactly.
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You can take a guess, sure, but you don't need to know.
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You don't need to know how, okay?
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You just need to know how to get from A to B.
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And you don't even need to know that B is the right decision.
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Just take a step from A to B and see what happens.
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It doesn't matter if B is the wrong decision to make.
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It doesn't matter if B was a failure because what can you learn from making that decision?
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You can then go to C
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and then you can go to D and as you go along you might go back and forth, back and forth and it's totally fine.
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That's the journey.
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It's not linear but what I want to highlight here is
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that if you get too caught up in trying to figure out how to get from A to Z straight away
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you're going to get stuck in analysis paralysis like you'd be too scared to take action
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because you're questioning every action
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that you make you don't need to know how to get
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from a to z you just need to know what the next step is
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and it's okay if you don't even know
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if that's the correct step any kind of step
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that you take any kind of action
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that you take towards what you think may be positive change
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is going to give you feedback it's going to give you more information
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that you can then go and make another decision on.
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Now, the next thing I want to talk about
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when we want to change our approach to a situation is changing our actions and our behaviours.
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It's all about changing how we respond, how we behave, how our habits are,
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noticing what habits aren't serving us, changing them and implementing new positive habits.
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Let's go back to this example of my son's behavior.
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I was in the habit of yelling at him when he hit me.
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Sure, that sounds about normal, right?
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But unfortunately, every single time I yelled because he hit me,
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that yelling fueled the fire and it got him even more upset or more excited.
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And it gave him the attention that he wanted and he would hit me more.
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The neighborhood dogs are going wild.
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I don't know if you can hear them.
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So I changed my behavior.
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I changed my approach.
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When he hit me, if he was tired, upset about something, angry, and he hit me, I was deadpan.
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I was just no reaction, no emotion, nothing.
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But I would do it in a way that was just
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no reaction and here's the change I didn't get hit once again every time I would yell
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or make a big reaction that just fueled him
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so this is a just this is a little example of me changing my behaviors
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and my habits which then went on to change my situation the next thing we can change
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which has a massive such a massive change on our situations is our internal state
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how calm we are how reactive we are how grounded we are all of
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that will affect our situation and our challenges
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so with your own situation in mind think about how your
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current internal state might be affecting the outcome of your situation
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so for instance if you were living with a partner and
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they're a little messier than you are
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and you're there just trying to control them
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and figure out how they can change and they can become better
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but every time they come home and they throw their shoes on the floor
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or their clothes are all over the place
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that anger inside of you builds and builds and you build
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that resentment and then you end up getting reactive to them
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and having an argument with them and
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that reaction from you isn't going to change the other person
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it's going to cause more issues it's going to cause more problems
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but if you are regulated if you are working on your internal state
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if you are calm
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and you are grounded your reaction is going to be completely
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different you're going to be able to approach the situation with better communication and just as a calmer person,
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you're less likely to escalate the situation or create a fight
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and you might be able to actually have a proper conversation and tell that person how their behavior is affecting you
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and work out a strategy together to make a positive change
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but you can't do that if your internal state is in fight
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or flight you just can't so this has to be really important if you you want things to change in your life,
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recognizing if your internal state is in this reactive fight or flight response and you are just kind of go, go, go.
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You want to put your focus in becoming more grounded, becoming more calm, working on your reactions.
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So once again, it's about changing us, changing our internal state
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that will then help us with our external situations instead of constantly trying to fight
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and change someone else or something else and just continuously coming up against that brick wall.
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The next thing that you can also focus on changing is figuring out how you can change your external environment.
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So this might look like setting up certain systems that help things to change or friction control.
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So let me give an example for both of this.
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my partner used to have the tendency of just throwing his
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clothes on the floor next to his side of the bed
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and there would just be a nice pile up of clothes
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and this used to irritate me a lot
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and I would try to teach him and make him change
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and put his clothes away or put them in the washing basket
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or do whatever just not on a pile on the floor what happened when I tried to do this,
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I just kept banging up against a brick wall and it caused more tension between him and me
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and nothing was getting resolved.
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And then sometimes I wouldn't bring it up and the resentment would build and then I'd burst and get angry about it.
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And it was just a whole thing.
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So I just decided to set up two systems
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that worked with him and his current behaviors and his personality rather than trying to change him.
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I got this vintage little, I don't even know what you call it, like clothes hanging thing.
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I'll put a picture up.
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And instead of the clothes going on the floor next to his side of the bed, they got hung up on this little thing.
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They were his half worn clothes and they got hung up.
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Sometimes it looks like a mess and there's heaps of clothes hung up on this thing, but I don't care.
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They're on that thing now and they're not on the floor.
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and that is cool.
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The other thing I did was just simply moved the washing basket from the bedroom to the bathroom.
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When he had a shower the clothes went directly in the washing basket.
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When my son got in the bath they went directly in the washing basket and no more dirty clothes on the floor.
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That is how we're changing setting up systems that work with us and not trying to change people
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but just setting up a system and friction control is like it's
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that classic example of wanting to get up
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and work out in the morning putting your workout clothes right next to the bed
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and getting straight into them in the morning or you know having
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that laundry basket right next to the shower
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so instead of the clothes being put on the floor they just get put in the laundry basket
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right where they were going to get dumped anyway
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so reduce friction anywhere in your environment That's another thing
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that you can change to change your approach to a situation that is not currently in your favour.
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When you do systems and stuff, you want to think about going from managing the crisis in
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the moment to preventing it from even happening in the first place.
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It's just like preventative health care.
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How can we prevent something from happening instead of managing it once it's already happened?
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I think about this in terms of like communication as well.
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How we communicate with people is so important
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because we can prevent things escalating if we approach the situation consciously instead of then letting it escalate,
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letting it happen and then trying to manage that problem.
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I'd love to hear from you guys in the comments maybe some
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if you're happy to share you don't need to give details
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but just maybe an area of your life that you'd like to change and
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just brainstorm how you might be able to change the way
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that you approach it could you change your mindset could you change your actions
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and behaviors could you change your internal state
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and could you change your environment I hope today's video was helpful
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if you're into this kind of stuff this is what I do on this channel
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and I will pop a couple of videos up on the screen now
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that you might also find interesting it was lovely talking to
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you today it's a beautiful sunny day in Sydney I'm going to go out
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and enjoy some sunshine and I hope you have a nice day bye
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Cose che imparerai
Questo video ti aiuterà a migliorare due abilità chiave: la comprensione di conversazioni spontanee (con frasi colloquiali e pause naturali) e la abilità di riprodurre l'intonazione per trasmettere emozioni e enfasi. Inoltre, imparerai a identificare e usare frasi come "we need to change how we're approaching" in contesti reali, utili per esprimere soluzioni a problemi.
Ascolta questi suoni
Nella conversazione, nota i linking (collegamenti tra parole) come "want something to" ( pronunciato quasi "wantsumthin to") o "change how you're" ( "change howyer"). Ci sono anche riduzioni come "I've noticed" ( "I've noticed" con la "v" debole) e "it's not working" ( "it's not workin"). Questi dettagli rendono l'inglese parlato più fluido e naturale.
Parla come un madrelingua
Per imitare il ritmo del speaker, focalizzati sulla stressazione: nelle frasi come "if you want something to change, change how you're approaching it", la parola "change" è enfatizzata due volte, con una pausa prima della seconda per creare impatto. Usa la tecnica del shadowing in inglese: ascolta una frase, pausa e ripetila immediatamente, cercando di copiare l'intonazione (alzata nella domanda "what changed today?") e la velocità (più lenta nelle parti riflessive, più veloce nelle storie personali). Pratica con frasi brevi prima di passare a paragrafi, e usa il video come modello per il "shadowspeak" – questo ti aiuterà a rendere la tua pronuncia più naturale.
Imparare l'inglese con i video è un modo efficace per migliorare la speaking, e con questi consigli potrai applicare il shadowing in modo concreto. Ricorda: la chiave è la pratica costante, cercando di riprodurre non solo le parole, ma anche il tono e il flusso del parlante.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | have been struggling · he's been getting · you've been trying |
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to have · used to irritate |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | can be applied · might be called · being said |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've noticed · we've been · haven't been |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.