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There's no way that this has a blessing in it
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if it's taking me away from the thing that gives me also so much purpose in my life.
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I would always get comments of like, you're so strong in modesty, but like, no, I struggle.
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I do struggle and I think it's normal to struggle and I think it's okay.
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Honestly, I don't even know who that person was
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because I was in this like state of mind where I need to find a person because of the pressure.
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I honestly kind of just had a wake up call and I was like, I'm Liana Diem.
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This is being human.
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I'm glad you're here.
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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Being Human.
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I am doing a solo episode today and I'm honestly
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so excited because I actually just finished doing a guest episode and this is probably like the second solo.
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I think the first one was just like the intro
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and I really want these episodes to kind of be about my life in real time
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and what I'm currently going through
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and I mean by the time this podcast comes out it
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would have been like a couple of weeks since being michigan
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but i just got back from michigan and dearborn specifically
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which is where my sister's at because she just had a baby
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and i honestly i love children both of my sisters have children i have a sister here in austin
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and then another sister in michigan and so
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when i was in michigan it was honestly like amazing spending time with family
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and everything but now both of my sisters are married
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and they both have kids and I am the only one who is not married
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and who doesn't have kids and
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so there is kind of this pressure put onto you
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and I feel like women whether
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that is like I think it's more of like a societal thing it's just this kind of expectation
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that you kind of have to get married young
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and have children from a young younger age like 20s like
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early 20s otherwise you're kind of like losing time anyways being there
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and everyone always asking me you know it's your turn like
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are you finding a man are you talking to people
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when do you want to have kids last year
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when i was living in new york i really went through
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a chapter where both of my sisters had just gotten married
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and i felt like okay i really need to find a husband like i need to find partner
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and i got
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so caught up with the feeling of i am going to be alone forever like i thought
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that i would be alone forever and i would just force things in a way
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that i knew i shouldn't have been doing in terms of talking to people
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that i shouldn't have been talking to things i was lowering my standards
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so much honestly i don't even know who that person was
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because i was in this like state of mind where i need to find a person
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because of the pressure that was put onto me.
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And now I'm at a point in my life where I'm really like, you know what?
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You can say whatever you want.
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You can have this expectation that you think that I should be getting married and having kids right away, but I know I'm not ready.
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And it's not like I don't want love.
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Okay.
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As women, as humans, we want love.
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We want a partner.
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We, you know, we just love connection.
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And I think that it's such a beautiful thing, but sometimes when you are trying to find it trying to rush it it's actually not the right time
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because maybe you are not ready to receive love
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and I don't think I am I don't think I'm ready
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right now in my life even though I do want it I don't want kids yet
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because to be completely honest the next five years of my
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life I feel like I really just want to focus on my career focus on my craft
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and it's not even this thing of like you know I don't want a man
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or something or like you can't have a man and be a successful woman at the same time.
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Like, I do believe that that is real with the right person.
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It's all timing, though.
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Let me just talk about my experience, okay?
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This was actually recent.
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I stopped looking for love, and then it started to come a little bit more naturally.
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And I was like, you know what?
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Let me just try.
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So I tried talking to a person.
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All the boxes were checking off, okay?
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And then it was like I started to realize
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my time was being taken away from me because my focus was not there.
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I wasn't focused on my career.
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I wasn't focused on my craft.
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And when I mean career, I always think of things as purpose.
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Our purpose in this life is not just to get married and have children.
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Yes, that's a beautiful part of life, but I truly believe that every single person on this earth has a purpose.
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And when you are so consumed in love and, you know,
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wanting a text back or you just get so caught up that sometimes you don't even focus on your career or anything.
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And that's what was happening to me and I was like there's no way
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that this has a blessing in it
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if it's taking me away from the thing that gives me also
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so much purpose in my life which is doing this
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which is creating which is putting out content for you all being able to connect
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and truly truly like share my experiences I wasn't sharing my experiences I it wasn't a sign
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that it was right and I also was ignoring
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so many red flags and I was compromising I was compromising because I felt like you know,
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maybe I, maybe I should just settle and have love right now.
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And maybe I can change the person long -term, you know?
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And I don't believe anyone comes perfect because we are not perfect as humans.
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And I feel like when you are in a relationship, there are going to be compromises where, you know, you do have to work on things as people.
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But when you consistently see so many red flags and where you're like, okay, you know, I could change this thing or like this person promises you also that they're going to change is like,
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no, I prayed to God for a sign of, is this person right for me?
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And then it was not right.
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There was many clear signs and it took me a while to get over it because I was like, okay, I need to just stop talking to this person.
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But I felt like, I don't know, I enjoyed talking to someone.
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I enjoyed the connection with a person, but I realized I enjoyed it because I was escaping from something.
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I was escaping from from things that I needed to work on myself.
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I didn't always love being alone in terms of like a quality relationship with myself, my time.
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And I think that sometimes we can search for love
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or search for a person because we are kind of trying to run away from things
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that we need to address first before a person does come into our life.
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Because when you're not working on yourself
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and trying to develop a stronger relationship with who you are
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and what you love in this world and you know your purpose
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and where you're getting your drive from sometimes a person can come into your life and have
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so much control over your emotions your mood your time your energy to the point where you forget about yourself
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and this doesn't only happen when you're you know single
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and trying to find a person it can also happen
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when you are in a relationship
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and then you realize later on it's like holy like i
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i didn't even build a relationship with my own self i'm kind of going off topic here
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but like i realized
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that i need to really love my own time pour into me way more
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and i wasn't doing that
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and i was trying to i was i was trying to fill the void with people
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and sometimes it's not just people it could be other things in our life
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that we're escaping with it could be different kinds of like addictions
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or overly scrolling on social media or you know doing things
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that are not actually bringing you true fulfillment in your life
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and i think that when you are finding yourself escaping from something, you have to take a step back and think about why can I not just sit with myself,
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my thoughts, my emotions, and try to work through this.
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And so I honestly kind of just had a wake up call and I was like, I don't think I'm ready for love right now, even though I want it.
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And I really want to focus on building myself.
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And I truly believe that all of us should have a purpose before even finding someone. Because
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when you don't feel strong in yourself in your purpose in
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a person comes into your life you may allow disrespect like that's one thing is i allowed disrespect
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because i didn't respect myself and i didn't respect my time but
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when you start respecting yourself by sticking to your word sticking
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to a routine going to the gym eating clean then you start to just like have way more strength
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and more respect for yourself so
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when a person does come in you're like okay no i'm not tolerating anything less than what I want
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and I'm not even talking about like materialistic things I'm a
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person who's realistic in terms of I don't expect designer items
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all the time from my future partner do I want a
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person who is kind of on a similar wavelength as me
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yes for sure in terms of like mindset drive ambition
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or higher I wouldn't go it's not even like lower
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but one thing is I have tried it I've tried to
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talk to someone who you know might not earn as much for example
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and I know this is a very touchy subject
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but personally I never want to feel like I have to compromise on what I want in my life
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or stop buying things for myself or you know
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if I'm paying for a certain amount of money in my apartment I have to stop paying
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that you know in like downsize for example because I have to make sure that the man doesn't feel emasculated.
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I really believe that like, you know, God can take away everything and like, you know, being humble and all these things.
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But like, there's a difference between being humble
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and then like not living the life that you want to live when you can afford it just to please a man.
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Basically, what I'm saying is now I'm in this lonely chapter of life, okay?
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And I've accepted it.
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And you know, it's so weird.
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Now that I've accepted that I'm in the lonely chapter and I don't want a person, it's like I now am attracting more.
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I'm attracting more options, more people coming into my life and like, you know, marriage proposals, whatever.
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And it's like becoming way more frequent.
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And I think that it's all, it's coming because I'm not looking for it anymore.
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When I was looking for it, it wasn't coming to me because I truly believe in the power of like mindset and the energy that you give off.
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It's the same with anything.
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Like if you were looking for a career, if you're looking for, you know, trying to build more wealth
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or you know finding a partner it's all about the mindset like you have to be ready to receive it and also
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just attracting it like I do believe everything comes from God yes
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but you also have to have this like this feeling of you know I am worth
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so much that I know that there is a person out there for me I know
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that I will attract this I know
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that you know money is meant for me because I have
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so much purpose in this life and I have
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so much to give to this world
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that I will be able to you know you know be
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compensated for your time it's not even about going in with
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the intention of like money hungry it's more of like you want to be able to live a life
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and you know earn from it at the same time and
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so that's the same kind of mindset of having of like
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you know i am going to be ready for a partner
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when the time is right and i know
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that the person coming into my life is going to be
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a loyal man is going to be respectful is going to be a provider
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and doesn't again only mean money it means like mindset being
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there for you taking care of you in times of hardship
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or maybe it's like both picking up chores around like little
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things like not expecting a full course meal prepared to him
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every single time like i grew up in a household where
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my mom she took care of the children she cooked she cleaned my dad was the you know the provider
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and stuff and as much as i love that dynamic
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and it's a full job in itself like mothers that go through
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that they don't get this and i've spoken about this on like a podcast
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that i did with um raven which will be coming out
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and we we talked about this of like mothers don't get the same recognition
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when it comes to you know cooking
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and cleaning around the house like it is a full -time job i don't see myself doing
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that because honestly i am kind of i'm not scarred for life
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but like seeing a woman go through so much
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and then not having the help of like her husband like
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even pick up a dish now i see my dad doing more dishes
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and stuff but like growing up and i love my parents
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so much but like growing up i never saw that and
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that is very common in my culture hispanic culture arab culture it's the expectation of women need to be this
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and some women want that but personally i don't because i
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i want my own power sometimes men take away your power
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if you don't have money
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if you don't have anything else going for you then taking care of the you know kids and cooking and again
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it's sometimes like 50 50 chance in terms of like having the partner who is a provider a male
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and he you know empowers a woman and you know wants more for herself
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and then there's there's a 50 50 chance of being with
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someone who can end up emotionally manipulating you with like money of like you know
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if you want to buy something but you don't have it
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but you're relying on a man what
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if you can't get the thing it's like what do you
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do then you don't have anything else going for you
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so like that is my fear and maybe that's a bit of trauma
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that i need to work with i'm speaking to this mic like it's therapy like a therapy session for real
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because honestly that is trauma that I feel whenever I get into conversations and try to talk to people is like, I'm going to have my own thing.
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You can't hold me back.
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Like I feel so masculine going into this, but maybe it's because I also haven't found a masculine man who can make me feel like in my feminine.
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And I truly believe that that is why I'm not ready for it is
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because I also need to unpack all of this.
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Like I need to let go of all these things before the person comes into my life.
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And now I'm in this lonely chapter since we are on the topic of choosing yourself
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and prioritizing you one thing that has significantly changed my health is feeling more hydrated
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and i do that by taking electrolytes
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and honestly i am just someone who struggles with drinking water
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and i feel like i'm never properly hydrated no matter how
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much water i'm drinking until i started taking electrolytes cure hydration to be specific
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and i've been taking these electrolytes for about two to three years now
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so the fact that they are a sponsor on this podcast today is actually
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so exciting because i truly believe in this brand
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and i've been taking it for so long
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and honestly i am always drinking these electrolytes first thing
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when i wake up i grab a glass of water i pour a little bit of lemon in
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and then i will use the lemon hydration packet that's like
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my favorite flavor sometimes i'll switch between the watermelon as well
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but cure hydration is super clean ingredients like this is a
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and it's for any person any lifestyle any routine especially
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if you are training most of the times we are not getting in enough minerals whether
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that be like salts or magnesium
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which is going to actually help your body absorb different nutrients
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so hydration is so important and
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if you are struggling with it i highly recommend you try cure hydration
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real ingredients real hydration where does loneliness come from right is it just
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because we don't have a person in our life i don't think
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so i think that loneliness
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because you can also feel lonely in a relationship sleeping next to a person
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that you don't even feel comfortable with there's so many people in marriages
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and relationships that feel that way and so i think
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that loneliness comes from a lack of working on your purpose me
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and gary brecca the podcast that we did we talked about isolation
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because whenever i went to new york i kind of like isolated myself
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but he was saying you're not isolated when you're working on your purpose even
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if you're away from people even
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if you're not in a relationship you are not isolated
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if you're working on your purpose and so that is why it's
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so important to have something you are working towards
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if you ever do feel lonely
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and of course there is the the side of like having a support system
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so whether that be from work or maybe it's family it could be your friends
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and not to the point where like you're depending on them
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for consistent reassurance consistent communication like i used to be this is
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so long ago to be honest i don't think i've ever spoken about this
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but me and my best friend whenever we were like i think it was like in the beginning of my
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career 20 -ish around that time we used to sleep on the phone together me
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and my best friend every single night because I didn't want to be alone.
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Like I literally did not want to be alone.
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And I think that now I've been living in an apartment alone for like five -ish years.
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And I just now am finally at peace with my own self.
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And it's taken so long to get here, but I wish I would have known it from the beginning of like, if I just poured into my purpose
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and poured into giving back to the world and occupying myself with things
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that really give me so much joy in life
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so it could be starting a new hobby like i picked up sewing
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and i'm starting to you know learn how to sew
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and i want to do different kinds of things where i feel like i'm showing myself love in different ways
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and it doesn't have to only come from a person because when we put so much
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expectation on people as well they will always let us down
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because we are imperfect as humans and we can never put so much focus on a person.
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For example, having more love for a person than God.
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And I, you know, it doesn't, it sounds kind of like crazy, but when you think about it, it's like sometimes you could go to a person about a problem that you're dealing with in your life
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thinking that they can solve this for you
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or like they're going to give you some form of advice that is going to help so much.
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But maybe they will give you advice.
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But at the end of the day, why are you putting all your trust into a person rather
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than your creator your creator is the one who can solve all your problems
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but sometimes we put more trust more expectations onto people
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and i think that there's this correlation to when you feel lonely
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when you feel isolated you're also not learning to fully fully turn to god in every moment of your life
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and you know i thought that i was even
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so close to god but it wasn't just about you know doing all my prayers
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and reading the holy book of my faith it was learning
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how to build a true genuine connection with god with the creator and like in my everyday life journaling my work
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when i wake up it's like this immense gratitude for your life right because
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maybe you are lonely but like look at a person who doesn't even have food it's just
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if you are more grateful in your life and you try to have this optimistic mindset more positivity in your life, you will start to just feel better.
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You're not going to overly focus on feeling lonely because one, you are occupying yourself with your purpose
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and your time is being spent on things that are actually bringing you so much more fulfillment.
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If you're not working on yourself, if you're not going to the gym, if you're not waking up and doing like some form of breath work,
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meditation, prayer, and you're just like opening up your phone right away, little things like scrolling on social media or having pointless conversations
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or watching things like shows that are going to make you feel less fulfilled, more empty inside.
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It's going to prolong this journey of feeling lonely and not in a good way.
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There should be a balance of like feeling lonely, but actually being at peace while you are alone because you realize
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that this is such a pivotal moment in your life where you are working on yourself.
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You're building yourself.
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So when that person is ready to come in, you will be able to receive them in such a healthy way.
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So I think that's really important is to like trust
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that god is going to bring a person into your life at the right time
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and to not let expectations of what other people want for
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you get to you you know some women are not able to get pregnant
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and god forbid that is any of us but like
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when i hear people say you know children are a woman's
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purpose maybe it's you know one part of We'll see you next time.
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our life.
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But what about the women that can't have kids?
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Are you going to say that she shouldn't go out
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and help this world in other different ways and get true fulfillment from that?
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And what about the women that don't even want children?
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There's this whole society thing of women need to go back to just taking care of the kids
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and taking care of the home and men be the providers, which is how it used to be.
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But honestly, I always take things back to even my faith of the women that were in at the time.
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They were entrepreneurs.
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They were businesswomen.
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They went out and did more for themselves
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but then my culture right culture faith being two different things
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is like the culture is saying like no women need to cook
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and clean at the house
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and then my faith is saying like no women can be true strong women
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that have such an impact in this world and
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so it's like i don't think that all women have to just settle down
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and have kids right away
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and i used to feel like i needed to explain myself like i remember i would sit
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and just explain why i am not ready and i would feel
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so empty after doing it
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because they would still not understand me like people won't understand you family won't
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and again like fear -mongering like you're running out of time you're not running out of time like me
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and my videographer were just having a conversation like our mothers had us at such a later age 38 36
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and you know that's not even i don't even think that's too old obviously it's different with women's bodies
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because we start to lose eggs and we go into like menopause
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and stuff which is you know different but i don't ever fear
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that i won't have kids because i do want kids but
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if i didn't ever have kids i always think about like
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if i have kids or like if i don't have kids
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and it wasn't written for me maybe it's because
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if i had children i wouldn't have patience
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and i wouldn't have treated the kids well or something does
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that make sense for example i struggle with patience and i know
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that like when i hear kids cry i i empathize
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but it's like mothers to go through what they go through with kids especially in public with toddlers screaming
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and like you can't control it you can't do anything i
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don't even know how it would be in the obviously you wouldn't do anything bad
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but it's like wow the patience and the tolerance
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that you have to have is that it's like i'm not ready for that
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and i think that's why again we have to think about
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things from a logical point of view like are you ready
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to receive something i kind of want to talk about what
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i also view love as in terms of this is turning into like lonely chapter
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but also like relationships i guess because i mean it's a parent in my life
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and i kind of want to just get this topic out
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because i've never really spoken about this it felt always
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so weird to talk about love and even the way
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that the movies
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and like shows portray love as i always would think it's like you know a fairy tale
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and you know you're supposed to love a person for the rest of your life
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and it's like a beautiful thing and i still do think
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that but i also think
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that like i don't know do y 'all think like love lasts forever
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or it's more of like you really build a strong connection with a person
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and of course there's love there
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but there's times where love looks hard like it looks ugly sometimes
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and as humans
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if we go through different periods of our life you're gonna
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have to find a person who's gonna ride through the highs
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and the lows and i view love as that
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and i also think i want a person i can grow
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and build with and so that means like
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when we're having conversations at the house i want to have
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someone who really understands me in terms of like we have similar similar viewpoints in life
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but also maybe it's like you're building something with a person because i feel like that
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kind of lasts even longer
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because it's like i don't know gosh i don't know i haven't been in a relationship in
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so long and i haven't really even shared
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that i've been in relationships on here
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because i always like i don't know i don't get scared of talking about my past
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but i've been in relationships where there was no i never went in with the intention
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that this person is someone that i can marry if that makes sense it was always like empty relationships and even
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waiting for the right person it can feel hard sometimes
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and not just having these like pointless conversations
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and like flings of course talking to people
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and experimenting with like you know is this person compatible
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and whatnot but when you're in pointless conversations or talking to people
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when you know that they're not right for you
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and you're just wasting time it's going to leave you feeling
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so empty inside and even myself like i would struggle with being a hijabi woman
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and i went from being looked at consistently from men
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and wanting that like i used to want that
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and i'm not saying every single woman wants attention it's obviously trauma
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and all these other things that you know
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that was coming out of it but like now being fully covered up
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and not getting the amount of attention from men it can
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be hard it can be also hard even feeling beautiful in the hijab
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or like finding a partner because again men are creatures of more physical
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and women we can lean into the more emotional side you know like sometimes
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when a man is not that attractive
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but he has a good personality we can be like you know um he's you know it's fine
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because he has a great personality he's funny he's kind he's loving but
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when a man is looking for a woman he has to be physically attracted to her like from the beginning
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because otherwise I don't know.
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It doesn't usually, like, I mean, in my cases, I just always feel like a man is a physical creature more than a woman.
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They're both emotional creatures, but like more physical for men.
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I truly believe that.
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So when I'm wearing hijab and I'm covering up, and I guess I would feel like I want that.
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Like I would want the attention again being covered.
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And it feels really weird saying that.
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But that's where I like go into this suppressing
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that need for instant gratification because
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if I am desired by a man who only wants me for the way that I look, it's going to be empty at the end of the day.
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You are going to end up feeling like, you know, where is the commitment from a man
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if he is only just wanting me because of the way that I look?
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Like, is he going in with the intention of marriage?
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Is he going in with the intention to pursue you long term?
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Or is it just kind of like a person to talk to?
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So whenever I look back at my past
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and I would have empty relationships it always made me feel worse even
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if i was just talking to a person and
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so that's why i also am like you know what i
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rather go through this lonely chapter of not talking to anyone
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because it's gonna make me feel empty
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if the person is not going in with the intention to
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truly truly marry me i also have spoken on my social
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media recently about not loving myself in the hijab as much
429
but i think it was mainly
430
because like we're coming off of ramadan well now this is going to be a couple weeks out later
431
but like coming back off of Ramadan you're on this like
432
spiritual high of fasting doing these extra acts of prayer and
433
and stuff and then like you go from like
434
that to normal life of course you're going to feel like a drop in faith
435
and then I had to remind myself where am I going wrong am I praying all my prayers
436
and am I being very intentional with my prayers like being very present with God
437
because sometimes obviously in Islam we have five daily prayers
438
and you kind of like recite something so it can be just a ritual
439
but But it's so important that you're truly connecting with your soul to the creator in terms of like really,
440
really like stepping away from the world and feeling this like disconnect.
441
So kind of like when people go into meditation, like you're really sitting there and fully trying to take this in as like, you know, connecting with a higher power,
442
thanking everything that you have and more of just, I don't know, just this relationship, this bond, this trust in a higher source that everything is going to be fine.
443
So like, am I truly doing that in my prayer?
444
and then the second thing was like what am i consuming
445
because y 'all
446
when you are consuming things it could be shows movies music
447
social media constant comparison online as well we are living in
448
a time where of course you know i love looking at
449
things on social media of like you know fashion inspo
450
or beauty inspo and all these things but sometimes you can get
451
so caught up in looking at perfect women on social media
452
and start comparing yourself start picking apart every single thing about you
453
and it's like you want to start changing yourself
454
or maybe it's like for some women it's like showing a little bit more
455
because like you know maybe men will want
456
that it's like everyone is on their own path on their own journey
457
but it's like when you are kind of on this journey to consistently want validation
458
and more so suppressing that need for it what you consume is going to be
459
so important because it's all going to affect your soul at the end of the day
460
and we don't think about it like that and that's the second thing and then the third thing is like
461
really connecting with your scripture because obviously I mean I cover for faith reasons women
462
that are on their modesty journey it's like why are you covering for example
463
when I learned about the hijab a lot of people would
464
tell me like you're wearing it for a man essentially
465
because your husband one day he's the only one who's going to be able to see you
466
that wasn't enough for me to put it on okay I
467
was like no what's the benefit for women long term
468
and it was more of the internal soul like focusing on
469
that and so I learned that through scripture and so sometimes
470
when i'm not connecting with the holy book of my faith i really go back and i'm like
471
let me continue to build my relationship with it
472
that is how i really built a strong relationship with god
473
that's how i learned who god was that's how i learned
474
how to live my life how to treat people better how
475
to just always just come back to i don't know reality essentially it's like learning learning the text
476
and i'm not talking about like just flipping through the book
477
because when scripture is written from a long time ago it can just sound so old sometimes harsh too you're like, what is this scripture even really teaching me?
478
And that's kind of when I like started diving into things, really researching on YouTube videos of like what this means.
479
And so I feel so strong in my faith when I'm connected to the holy book.
480
And then the last thing that I would really say is, are you putting full trust in God, the creator, whatever you believe in, like in terms of the path that is written for you,
481
especially when it comes to like just being authentic and doing things
482
that are aligned with you it's truly putting full trust
483
that you know i'm not gonna have the what ifs feel uncertain
484
because i know
485
that god is always working in my favor there is always
486
a blessing even in a hardship there's always a blessing in
487
it it's teaching me something it's preparing me for something greater and i always look at life in that way and
488
when i'm having these thoughts of like you know is hijab
489
ever going to block me from blessings is it going to
490
stop me from being successful ever i always come back to like let me fully trust
491
god i put this on because i love the true meaning of it
492
but sometimes when you're in a world where maybe you will get more opportunities
493
if you look better
494
or like you know it's driven by beauty for example then
495
maybe you'll have more opportunities maybe people will listen to you more for example And so I think that like, I always remind myself, I'm not fully trusting God if I'm having doubts.
496
And again, it's okay to have doubts, but like, I always remind myself of those things.
497
And then I feel stronger in faith, especially I would say prayer is the foundation, really.
498
I shared that on social media and I would always get comments of like, you're so strong in modesty, but like, no, I struggle.
499
I do struggle.
500
And I think it's normal to struggle.
501
And I think it's okay that we're able to come on here and say that without, you know, well, I mean, to be honest, I put that up and people were like, oh my God, she's going to take it off.
502
Like, bro, calm down i can come on here
503
and be a human let's talk about building more strength with modesty not only prayers
504
and acts of worship i'm talking more about like finding your style finding the things
505
that you feel confident in
506
because i am still in this journey of like trying to find my style a little bit
507
and and really figure out the ways that i layer my clothes
508
or maybe it's the silhouettes and i think
509
that every single one of us has a different kind of shape
510
and it's about finding the clothes that make you feel confident
511
and obviously my level of modesty
512
if you would say is like i try to avoid anything
513
that is like super figure hugging because i have a shape
514
and i have a body and in terms of like you know curves for example
515
so it's kind of been a challenge for me because
516
if i didn't have curves
517
and you know a body i would be able to wear
518
probably more things without having this fear of like okay you know my body looks this way
519
or like because obviously you know hips and glutes
520
and all these things and you go to the gym
521
and it's like it's not considered modest to some people
522
when you're in different outfits so now i'm like just trying to find my style
523
and as i experiment oh my gosh i actually received a comment
524
and i didn't even feel confident in this fit okay i put on a fit
525
and i would receive a comment it was like oh well obviously this will be on youtube
526
so maybe the girl who's tuning into this will you know
527
it's your comment she was like girl you need to find a stylist these fits are not it and i was
528
i take hate or like criticism i always take it like is it feedback
529
that i can go and improve and work on i'm actually getting a stylist now
530
but um i you know i've been trying to just figure it out
531
and honestly comments like that though i think just
532
when you're trying to you know give someone criticism always try
533
to do it in a kind way thank god i'm strong
534
and that i don't go and you know take off the hijab
535
or get so upset about a negative comment
536
because i i used to be so upset about comments
537
but now i'm like nah if you got a comment
538
and it's hey cool is there something
539
that i can take away from it maybe
540
but now i don't really care i think it's just like
541
i don't know i've built the bone in me to not i've also been through
542
so much on social media where people tried to come for
543
me not my own community it's more my own culture tried to come for me
544
and i was like you know what i'm not even gonna give into this
545
and that truly built me so i think i can handle any kind of negative comment
546
but like i think
547
when it comes to even just women showcasing their journey with
548
faith with modesty there's a lot of discouraging people out there
549
and they call it like the haram police which means like
550
if you're not you know arab
551
or muslim it's like the faith police where they try to tear you apart for every little thing
552
and there was actually like a whole thing
553
that went online of like oh hijab is a journey
554
so this guy basically like a lot of women will say you know hijab is a journey
555
and i i do believe
556
that hijab is a journey by like modesty levels is a journey because
557
if you go from zero to 100 it's not sustainable it
558
is not sustainable there was points in my faith where i went from zero to 100
559
and i was like okay let me like calm down
560
because i'm just going too far too quick for me i i went from shorts to leggings
561
and then from sports bras to a crop top
562
and you might think it's the same but no
563
when you go from sports bras you're showing everything like your
564
whole upper body then i went from crop tops where it's long sleeve
565
so then it was like covering my arms
566
and then i had to cover my stomach that was the next step
567
and that's the journey that i went on
568
and then it went to like baggy clothes and covering my hair
569
and stuff which it's like women have to go through their own stages
570
and work through it and find their own style with the hijab with modesty
571
and it is a journey and with
572
that journey there was like a man who came onto social media
573
and he was like pretty well known in the space
574
and he was like oh hijab is not a journey telling
575
women to like shut up basically that's what he said
576
and maybe he was joking but the context was not good
577
and that's kind of the that's how the men kind of treat this space of you know women
578
that are struggling with hijab and it's like you know telling them to take it off
579
if they're not wearing it properly and stuff which i think is incredibly discouraging and again if you are trying to
580
give love to people or like
581
if you're trying to encourage people to be on a better
582
journey it's like doing it with love not hate that's only
583
going to push people away from even wanting to practice any kind of faith it's like leading with hate
584
and i and i think
585
that we're lacking character our soul it's definitely taking me time
586
like it's been three years since wearing it i'm still trying to figure out my style
587
and feel you know fully fully confident in it
588
but i'm definitely like making progress like i'm i think also being in austin austin texas
589
if you haven't been here before it's kind of an earthy
590
vibe there's like a mix of la with a texas vibe
591
a little bit um it used to be really weird in terms of like very i like the word earthy
592
so i think that i can really experiment here without feeling judged
593
and yeah it's not like dallas dallas is so
594
so fixated on on status and materialism
595
and here it's more of like just calm
596
and people don't really care they just go about their business
597
and so that's why I feel free to try outfits post them
598
and then if you don't like them very sorry but I'm still trying I know I mentioned many different points
599
talking about how like the expectations of women pressure from society
600
from parents the lonely chapter struggling with modesty all these different
601
things at the end of the day I think it really
602
comes down to how you spend your time what you are truly driven by I think that when I tap into creating,
603
connecting with you all, because this is my purpose.
604
Being here, having conversations with people, talking about their struggles, the podcast,
605
everything that I'm starting, it's all driven by a greater mission to impact other people in life.
606
And that's where I get true fulfillment.
607
That's where I feel strong in modesty.
608
That's where I feel strong when it comes to loneliness.
609
That's where I feel strong
610
when it comes to not feeling the need to explain myself to people
611
when they have a certain expectation of me
612
and i didn't really even touch on this point
613
but like family right i i had to go against my parents to pursue social media
614
because my parents wanted a different path for me to go to school
615
and you know get a degree and go work as a physician's assistant
616
which is completely fine but it didn't feel right and i consistently felt like I needed to explain myself.
617
So I had to take a route of going against them.
618
And I'm glad I did because I went through so much.
619
Was there many times where I failed and had to get back up and try again?
620
Yes.
621
But like I listened to my intuition of what I felt was right for me in that moment.
622
And I'm glad I did.
623
And I think that don't allow expectations to hold you back.
624
Don't allow pressure or society to make you feel like you're running out of time.
625
And yeah, really lean into finding your purpose in this life
626
and you can't do that when you are consistently distracted
627
and are not allowing yourself to sit in silence that's something
628
that is very hard for us
629
and by sitting in silence i mean not feeling the need to have something constantly playing in the background like
630
when you're eating do you have to watch a show maybe you don't have time right
631
and that's why you're watching a show or watching something
632
but like try just try it sit alone no phone eat
633
in silence do more things in silence instead of waking up first thing in the morning don't check your phone
634
if that's not something that you're doing already do not wake up
635
and check your phone right away the first like the first thing
636
that you do same was like at night because that's
637
when you also feel at your loneliest
638
if you are in like a lonely chapter is like at
639
night don't spend your time staying up late going on social media watching shows doing pointless things
640
that are going to just take you out of feeling so strong in yourself.
641
And I feel my strongest when I am consistent with my routine.
642
I feel my strongest when I am disciplined and I'm sticking to my word.
643
And you won't even think about feeling lonely because you have
644
so much going on and you're giving back so much to the world.
645
And, you know, it doesn't even mean, again, it's not social media.
646
I'm talking about like your purpose in this life.
647
Like figure out what that is if you haven't already done so.
648
If you have, lean more into it or start doing things
649
that truly give you fulfillment in life again it could be
650
starting a side hustle it could be picking up new hobbies
651
it could be spending more time with family it could be
652
starting a social media career like who knows what it is like
653
or even just like picking up your phone
654
and you know creating videos online of talking about your life
655
and trying to give back to the world with things
656
that you go through like why not right
657
so just always have this mindset of like
658
if i feel lonely I am not locking into my purpose enough
659
and just always reminding yourself of
660
that is going to kind of just make you feel whole again I hope
661
that you took away something from this podcast and I hope
662
that if you are kind of in a similar journey you don't feel alone in it trust that you know
663
everything comes at the right time at the end of the day truly truly trust in God's timing for you
664
because he works in ways that we can never imagine
665
and yeah you are never alone you know we're on this journey together.
666
And.. yeah i hope you enjoyed this episode i will see
667
you guys in the next one let me know what other
668
topics you want me to speak about i will continue to like share real moments of my life
669
but then again i want to talk about other kinds of topics
670
that are maybe apparent in your life that you want me to speak about.
671
So I love you guys so much and I will see you in the next episode.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 671 frasi e 8440 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 40:06. Chi parla va veloce, circa 210 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| lonely aggettivo | /ˈloʊnli/ | solo, solitario |
| prayer sostantivo | /pɹɛɚ/ | preghiera, orazione |
| expectation sostantivo | /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/ | attesa |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
| connect verbo | /kəˈnɛkt/ | connettere, connettersi |
| podcast sostantivo | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast, audioprogramma |
| topic sostantivo | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | tema, categoria |
| intention sostantivo | /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/ | intenzione |
| cure verbo | /kjɔː/ | curare |
| consistently avverbio | /kənˈsɪstəntli/ | coerentemente |
| creator sostantivo | /kɹiːˈeɪ̯təː/ | creatore |
| attract verbo | /əˈtɹækt/ | attirare |
| blessing sostantivo | /ˈblɛs.ɪŋ/ | benedizione |
| silence sostantivo | /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ | silenzio |
| remind verbo | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | ricordare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| wake up verbo | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | svegliarsi |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto | |
| pick up verbo | tirare su, sollevare | |
| calm down verbo | calmarsi, tranquillizzarsi | |
| cover up verbo | insabbiare, occultare | |
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire | |
| grow up verbo | crescere |
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to be · used to sleep · used to feel |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | i've been taking · I've been living · i've been trying |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | have tried · I've accepted · i've spoken |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | was put · being taken · is meant |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 242 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, don't, you're. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, dish /dɪʃ/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, ingredient /ɪnˈɡɹiːdi.ənt/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, experiment /ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come lonely, prayer, expectation.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.