Pratica di Shadowing: Tips on What to do When You're Feeling Like a Failure (Storytime) - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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Hello Brains, let's talk about failure.
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Growing up, a lot of those of us with ADHD heard a lot about how much potential we have
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and how we're failing to meet it.
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And when we failed to reach our potential, when we failed to do the thing we thought we were supposed to be able to do, we would try harder.
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And when that didn't work, we felt like we ourselves were failures.
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And a lot of the time it was blaming ourselves or blaming our efforts.
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And I just want to put a bit of a different perspective on it What I used to do
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when I felt like I was failing was try harder to
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do more now I take a bit of a different approach because now I understand that failure is kind of a
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Systemic thing.
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It's rarely just about lack of effort It's really not
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because I'm a bad person or I'm not trying hard enough for the most part.
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It's usually a systemic issue Sometimes I'm running into these invisible barriers
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because I do have ADHD and I do live in a world That's not exactly built for people with ADHD.
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You can see my video on ADHD friendly here sometimes I need a little extra support.
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I need accommodations.
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I need body doubling.
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I need whatever to help me be successful at the thing.
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But sometimes no matter how much support I get or I give myself, I'm still finding myself failing at something.
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So I agreed to write a book and I was really lucky in that I didn't have to write a book proposal.
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I was able to sell it directly to a publisher
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and skip the part where I have to like figure out exactly what the layout is going to look like
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and you know write a chapter
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and like I got to skip a lot of the work
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that normally would be done before somebody starts writing a book
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but I was still given the same amount of time to write a book which was a year.
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Knowing I only had a year to write this book I was like okay
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so what I'll do is give myself two weeks to write the first chapter
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because I figured that'll take a little longer and then after
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that every time I went to write a chapter I gave myself a week
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and I planned out my whole year like this right and it was like a pretty reasonable schedule.
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I thought like cool I did it like I figured out how to get this into a year
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and as long as I can stick stick to the schedule
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as long as I can stay on track then I'll have
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a book written in a year well I went to start writing this book
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but I got into it
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and I realized oh I need to figure out actually what good what the book is going to look like
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and what's the structure going to be
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and figure out a lot of logistical things
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and then by the time I got started writing chapter one I I realized I couldn't actually finish
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that in the two weeks so I gave myself an extra week to write
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that first chapter it's a little failure it's fine we'll get back on track I wrote
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that first chapter and then I got notes on it
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and I realized I didn't like my first chapter I wanted to rewrite it
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so I thought about it more and I and I rewrote it
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and then I rewrote it again and
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and at this point I'm about six weeks in
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and I was only supposed to take two weeks to write the first chapter
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so I'm immediately starting this process off feeling like an absolute failure
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and just time after time every time I went to write
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this book to do a portion of my book I was failing to hit the deadlines I'd set for myself
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and I felt scared
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because I was like I'm really failing at this like I've
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got to try harder you know let me give up my nights
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and weekends let me work harder faster or or whatever I didn't know
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but I felt like I need to be putting more effort into this
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because I'm failing then I did the math one morning
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when I was supposed to sit down and write I was
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so discouraged and just absolutely in tears
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that I looked at the breakdown of now now
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that I understood what the structure of the chapters
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and everything were going to be I looked at how
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that was going to actually realistically fit in my schedule
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and I know that I'm I'm the kind of person who overwrites and so
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if I need a 4 ,000 word chapter at the end
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of the week I need to write like 12 ,000 words like brain dump like 12 ,000 words
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and then I looked it up I decided to look it
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up how many words does a professional author write in a day
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and the answer is not 12 ,000 it was anywhere from like 2 ,500 to like 3 ,500 max per day.
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And I was expecting myself to bring them about 12 ,000 words in one day.
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And I'm just like, that's, that might be the problem.
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Like my markers for success were not realistic.
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I was failing not because I wasn't trying hard enough.
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And so effort was not the issue.
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The actual issue is that what I was asking of myself was unrealistic.
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The markers of success I had set for myself were so, so unattainable that it was not going to happen. And so
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I decided to change my markers for success
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and this was scary this was a problem because
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if I gave myself this realistic schedule I wouldn't even have
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the first draft finished I would start the first draft
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that week but I would have to finish the first draft next week
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and then do the second draft the next week
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so really realistically I needed two weeks to write a chapter
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and that wasn't going to be easy
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but at least it was doable looking back through my life
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pretty much every time I felt like an absolute utter failure it was
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because what I expected from myself was unrealistic either
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because it was something that no human was truly capable of doing
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or because it was something that I saw my neurotypical friends
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or my neurotypical mom doing that was not something that I could do.
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One thing that helps me be successful with my goals is Copilot.
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Copilot is a one -on -one coaching service where you connect with a personal trainer who designs workouts
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that work for you based on your current fitness level, whatever equipment you have available, and however long you want to work out.
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You meet via video calls to talk about your goals and individual needs.
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Then your coach tracks your workouts and keeps you accountable with regular check -ins.
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I love my coach so much.
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Her name is Darian.
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She's incredibly encouraging, checks in if I miss a day, and reminds me to do a video call once in a
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while so we can talk about my goals and progress on a deeper level.
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The last call we had, she helped me figure out that I was ready to change things up a bit.
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I realized I'd actually been so consistent I was starting to get bored, which is kind of cool because it means I'm feeling confident in movements that used to be hard for me,
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but my brain doesn't like to keep doing things it finds boring.
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So she put together a whole new program for me where each workout I can focus on something different.
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Balance, power and agility, handstands.
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She also added in things like walking my dog on Saturdays, which my watch can track or I can just check that I did.
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This is the longest I've ever stalked to any fitness program and I think it's because it's so ADHD friendly.
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I don't have to leave my house to do the workouts.
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I don't even have to plan my workouts because Darian does
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that for me and between talking with her and being able to share my workouts with friends in the app, I have the accountability and support I need to keep going.
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If you'd like to try it out, click my link to get 14 days free with your expert fitness and health coach.
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It is available on iOS now but starting June 27th it'll be available on Android as well.
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So I don't know I just think it's really important for our community to recognize
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that sometimes when we're feeling like we're failing sometimes it's
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because it's not a good fit sometimes it's because we don't have the support we need
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sometimes it's
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because it's not actually doable no matter how much support no matter how good the fit like it's not doable
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and so one of the best things we can do for ourselves is adjust the markers of success
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and I did not want to do this right
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because I'm like well but I was gonna be
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so proud of myself like being done early like I wanted
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to be done by Christmas the book's not due till January 31st like I really wanted to well that's nice
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but me refusing to acknowledge that this actually takes me longer than I've given myself all
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that would do is make me feel like I was continuing to fail throughout the entire writing process
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and guess what I still would turn that book in late.
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By acknowledging early that what I had planned to do was not going to be doable for me, I was able to adjust it.
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And the last time I sat down to write, I actually enjoyed it because I got to feel successful.
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I got to hit that deadline.
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And that gave me the encouragement and the motivation that I needed to be willing to show up again the next day.
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For those of us who do have issues with emotional regulation, I think making sure that we're not setting ourselves up for failure is really important
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or setting ourselves up for disappointment or discouragement by setting goals for ourselves that aren't within our control,
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are too challenging, are really better suited to other people.
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I mean, we put so much emphasis on what we're doing to reach our goals
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that we don't put as much thought into what are those goals though?
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Like, do those goals make sense for us?
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Are they achievable for us?
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Are they too easy?
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Which incidentally can make things harder to do for those with ADHD
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because like oh I'm bored or are they too challenging in
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which case we get discouraged we want to aim for moderately challenging we want to be in the
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in education they call it the proximal zone of development we want to be at
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that point where it's exciting and engaging and hard but not
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so hard that we can't do it not so hard
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that we give up so a good way to to figure out
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if your goals are too hard is how often are you succeeding at them.
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If every week you're missing your deadlines, there's something wrong there.
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Either it's not a good fit.
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You're not getting the support you need or, or the goals, your markers for success are unrealistic.
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And it's important to remember that even if somebody else is hitting those goals, that doesn't mean that you can, because they might be working with a different operating system.
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You know, their, their brain works differently.
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They're in a different field.
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I think
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that sweet spot is like oh we've got time like it's
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I don't need to like then it's probably not challenging enough and
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if we're like constantly failing constantly discouraged constantly not hitting those
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goals then they're too ambitious those goals are too ambitious
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or outside our control right like it might be a perfectly reasonable goal
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but like their goals about somebody else's behavior
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or like you know it's it's something if something is too far outside your control um that can be really
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a really good way to set yourself up for failure too I got really frustrated once
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because I had a friend who was neurotypical
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and I was dating this guy at the time
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and I was like I keep failing at everything that I'm doing
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and he was like well yeah everybody fails at stuff
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and he was like I was like well no not my
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friend like my this neurotypical friend I was like my neurotypical
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friend never fails at anything like everything he sets out to do he does
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and my boyfriend looks at me
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and says how many things is he trying to do
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and I realized not nearly as many as I was trying to do
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so that's another thing to recognize too sometimes
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when we're failing at things it's because we're trying to do too many things at the same time.
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It's almost like a bunch of people trying to fit through
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a doorway all at the same time that's not going to
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go well right like one at a time one project at a time one task at a time monotasking
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and often we try to do it as a way of
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catching up as a way of making up for for falling behind
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but if we try and do everything at the same time
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or we constantly switch our goals we're not going to really make a whole lot of progress compared
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if we just pick one or two or three
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and focus on those so yeah moral of the story
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if you feel like you're failing there are a lot of reasons for
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that that don't involve I'm a horrible human
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and like I suck at everything
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and like who let me do this I'm terrible there are a lot of reasons for
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that failure and they're systemic it's what is the goal
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that you're setting what kind of support do you have how
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many things are you trying to do at the same time how interested in it are you like really
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if we're interest -based learners we're interest -based doers if it's something
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that really really really bores you all the effort in the
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world is not is probably not going to help you toward
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that goal because it's it's just not how our brains work
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and so finding ways to get ourselves interested in it
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or switching to something
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that is a better fit is a better option than continuing to essentially try to nail jello to the wall
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which is essentially what we're doing when we're trying to do something that like does not interest us at all.
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Remember like a lot of times people will make us feel like we're failing
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when we're actually doing pretty well because their markers for success might be different than ours.
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That's my two cents.
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I will get off my soapbox now.
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Thank you to my brain advocates and all my Patreon brains for giving me a soapbox.
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I hope this was helpful.
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I needed to hear it come out of my mouth.
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I needed to be reminded of it.
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Again, if you want to try out Copilot, I put the link in the description below.
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Like, subscribe, click all the things, and I will see you next video.
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Bye brains!
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Thank you.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 207 frasi e 2607 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 11:43. Chi parla va veloce, circa 222 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 84% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| workout sostantivo | /ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/ | allenamento |
| bore verbo | /boɹ/ | annoiare, tediare |
| deadline sostantivo | /ˈdɛdˌlaɪn/ | scadenza, termine |
| systemic aggettivo | /sɪˈstɛm.ɪk/ | sistemico |
| discourage verbo | /dɪsˈkɝɪd͡ʒ/ | scoraggiare |
| unrealistic aggettivo | irrealistico | |
| essentially avverbio | /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/ | in essenza |
| remind verbo | /ɹəˈmaɪnd/ | ricordare |
| skip verbo | /skɪp/ | balzare, saltellare |
| acknowledge verbo | /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/ | riconoscere, ammettere |
| realistic aggettivo | /ˌɹɪəˈlɪs.tɪk/ | realistico |
| adjust verbo | /əˈd͡ʒʌst/ | adattare, adeguare |
| ambitious aggettivo | /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/ | ambizioso |
| consistent aggettivo | /kənˈsɪs.tənt/ | costante, continuo |
| proposal sostantivo | /pɹəˈpoʊzəl/ | proposta |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| give up verbo | arrendersi |
| get off verbo | scendere |
| grow up verbo | crescere |
| put together verbo | assemblare, montare |
| sit down verbo | sedersi, accomodarsi |
| try out verbo | saggiare, collaudare |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 71 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, we're, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, regulation /ˌɹɛɡjʊˈleɪʃən/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, publisher /ˈpʌblɪʃɚ/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, regulation /ˌɹɛɡjʊˈleɪʃən/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come workout, bore, deadline.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — un’abitudine o uno stato passato che non è più vero | used to do · used to be |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | would be done · was still given · being done |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | book which was · person who overwrites · bored, which is |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've ever stalked · I've given |
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.