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listen if you want to unlock ultimate confidence

if you want to feel like your authentic self

and vibrate on the highest level

you need to get to know who you are you need

to get to know what you like what you don't like what you accept what you will not accept

this is the whole key the biggest thing in life

that you should study is you is your behaviors is how you act once

you know who you are no one can tell you anything.

I want to say a huge thank you for BetterHelp for sponsoring this video.

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform with over 30 ,000 therapists.

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Hi guys, my name is Liz and welcome back to my channel.

Okay, let's get into it.

First things first, you need to realize is that there is no self.

So what you are right now is just made up beliefs by your parents, by the people around you, by your friends, society, whatever, right?

I think a lot of times if, for example, beauty standards, if they weren't there,

a lot of people wouldn't look how they look right now because there's nothing to look up to or to follow.

A lot of people wouldn't do certain jobs

because it's it's not like oh that's accepted in society and

that other job is shamed in society like made up in a societal structure that we follow

unconsciously and consciously but what i love about that is that

when there is no self we can also change it

and we can become who we feel is most authentic

and makes us the most happy and how we do

that is by first of all changing the way

you talk to yourself see your whole life your parents have

told you things about yourself your friends have told you things about yourself

and in childhood you adapted those traits as who you are

so for example when i was very young i was told

that i wasn't smart okay by one of my best parents

like you're not smart whatever shut up blah blah a woman should never talk

and then i started to now even in adulthood i doubt my intelligence

because of what i was told in childhood

but now i reaffirmed to myself no you are smart you know

so much you have so much knowledge and i reaffirm

that to myself to change those beliefs

because i want to control what i believe

and i want to shape who i am to myself the same way

when you were younger

and someone told you you're not beautiful you're not good looking later in life you will always remember

that unconsciously and you'll be like insecure about your looks

or think like oh this is not good enough

and all these things you can tell yourself right now

that you are you can look at yourself right now and be like you are the most

gorgeous hottest thing on earth like wow

when i look at you i am mesmerized you can tell yourself these things and even

when you say like oh no i don't believe

it i don't want to say why don't you believe

it beauty is a made -up societal structure right for a lot of people people

that are even considered beautiful let's say to you are not beautiful to other people

you know you know how many times i heard

that i'm not good looking at all these things

and i see why they think that because it's their perception

and I'm probably not their type and I don't care to be their type

but does that mean that I

when I look in the mirror I have to say

that to myself

or I have to say their affirmation of their perception of me to myself no

I can create my own perception my own world my own character of who I am another thing

you should ask yourself is are you acting

or are you reacting to life so I actually had this conversation with my therapist

and she was like Liz you are very sensitive

so whenever someone comes up to you

and asks you like let's say let's go for a coffee let's go on a date whatever she's like because you're

so sensitive you might think in your head like oh

you know what yeah let's go let's see what where it takes me

and maybe this is the person but she's like you should start acting

and you should like connect to your heart and think to yourself is this what I want you

In that moment, you should really ask yourself, am I saying yes to this thing or to this invitation because I really want to go?

Or am I scared to disappoint people?

Do I feel bad for them?

And that's why I'm saying yes.

When you know that when you're saying yes, it's authentic to what you want to do, you'll become more confident.

When you know that when you're saying no, it's authentic to what you want to do, you'll become confident.

Because you are living in accordance to your own voice.

Another thing is think about what are your non -negotiables.

So let's say for example for me in a relationship

if my partner is not loyal that's it my partner knows

and I know I will not stay there and I will not take this relationship seriously anymore.

That's my non -negotiable.

I do not budge on that.

I stand on it.

I do not care.

Why?

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Let's say there's a couple right and they both decide okay we're gonna be loyal we're gonna be in a trusting relationship.

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When one of that person breaks that trust it's traumatizing for

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that other person because now they're going to take

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that on to their next relationship and start to distrust other people

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because it's like a sudden shock

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and i don't think people realize how cheating is a big trauma for a person for example in work

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you can think about okay if the boss is making rude comments whatever is

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that you're non -negotiable are you thinking no i will not accept

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that we cannot compromise on this i will leave the more you have your non -negotiables clear for you

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and you know that this i will accept this i won't accept

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and you stand on those boundaries

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that is the more you will feel confident about yourself

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and the people around you will also start to respect you more a person

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that says if you cheat on me and and i discover

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that and they leave that is a person

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that is forever will be respected okay even by the other person

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because no matter what they do they can cry

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they can they can they can beg they can do anything for them

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but this person has so much self -worth has

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so much boundary you know there's one thing about women

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that i've noticed doesn't matter how long

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she stayed with you doesn't matter how many years

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she put up with things once a woman in her head makes

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that switch of this is not what i want anymore

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she can even have stayed there for 25 years in this relationship okay once

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she knows in her head this is not what i want anymore

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i will not accept any further than this you can go take a hike

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this woman will not come back to you once a woman knows in her head you're not

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that person anymore she will not even be able to look at you the same

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it will never ever come back i respect that

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so much i respect it like no matter how many years

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it took no matter whatever it took for you to leave once a woman leaves

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she will boss up you will never recognize her anymore all the pain

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you put her through doesn't matter this woman will always come out on top

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we live in a society where our dopamine receptors in the brain are very worn out

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and And that's dangerous when that happens because when your dopamine receptors are worn out, nothing becomes exciting anymore.

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So people go to the extreme to feel a certain sense of excitement.

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You can see this, for example, with people that from a very young age started drinking because alcoholism is so normal in this world.

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And it's almost pushed upon everyone, you know.

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And I feel like because they normalize this later on, because they've been drinking for so long,

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they start to use like heavier substances and then later on these substances also don't do anything anymore.

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So now you have a lot of people that are addicted since they were a teenager and somehow we're all normalizing this.

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Their dopamine receptors are completely worn out and they're depressed and don't feel any excitement anymore for anything in the world.

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Also look at what is triggering you and where is that coming from.

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When I was younger in school I used to hate

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when teachers would tell me what to do and I would never even take it seriously.

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Why?

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Because at home I was constantly controlled, I wasn't allowed to have a voice,

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so the only thing I've ever wanted was freedom to speak my mind

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and to say what I want and just to be free, okay?

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So when at school I was also controlled, that would trigger me, but that was triggering the wound that I had back home.

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And I needed to realize these things

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so I could stop acting in a way and hurting other people

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that had nothing to do with it i had to go

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back to the base of where is this coming from

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so i could work on that and

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that i could live in a way where i can respect others

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and honestly therapy has helped me a lot with that because

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when i was when i talked to my therapist it was always about okay liz where are you going wrong?

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What are you doing that these situations keep happening again so

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that we can fix it and actually change your life instead of

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because people often think that therapists sit there and will just listen to you and act like you're good and that's it.

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No, they will make you take accountability and change your life.

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I think what is also so important about understanding your triggers is that it makes you understand that you're not crazy.

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It makes you understand that you're not a bad person, but you're just acting out of past wounds.

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And I think that's beautiful.

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I think that's putting sanity inside of your mind and being like, you know what?

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I'm not an aggressive person.

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I'm just hurt.

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And I've been hurt so many times

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that the only way my body's reacting right now is out of aggression

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because the moments that I was hurt I couldn't speak up for myself

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or I didn't say it so this is all pent up anger

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and resentment that's coming out as an aggressive person but

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that doesn't have to be me that doesn't have to define me

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and you can change that

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when you understand where it's coming from it's good to acknowledge your feelings

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I think the way people can heal is

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when they are in touch with their feelings and emotions and when they don't demonize it.

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The reason why you're sad is because you're hurt.

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It's not because you're weak.

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It's not because, oh, you're not strong enough to handle it.

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No, something hurts you.

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And it's okay to cry it out because that's how you release whatever has hurt you.

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But if you hold it in, people get physically ill from this.

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People even die from illnesses by holding on to this pent -up anger resentment

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and stress release it

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if it's crying for months release it that's the way

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you release okay whatever you have to do in whatever way release it

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if it's talking about it constantly over

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and over again until you're done talking about then do

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that do that i've told the same stories maybe a hundred times

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but now i'm done telling those stories because it's out of my system.

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The other thing is look at the patterns in your life

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that are repeating itself over and over again because that is teaching you where your healing lies, okay?

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I've had multiple patterns repeat.

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I've had my father in my life that was abusive

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and then I attracted my ex -partner that was exactly a replica of my father.

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In the beginning it was great and then it turned out to be he's just like my dad, okay?

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Now why was this pattern coming up?

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Because I still had not come to terms with what happened with my father

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so it came back to me in a relationship form

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so I can see it in front of myself

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and I almost felt like I was recreating my mother's

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and father's relationship with my ex -partner and when I understood

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that and I was like wow but this is not what I want because

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if I have a child she will just be a little Liz again with the same traumas I don't want

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that for my child.

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So that's when I said, you know what?

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No, I don't want to continue this.

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I want to stop the cycle of the same patterns happening again.

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Even in friendships, even in relationships, look at these people and ask yourself, are they repeating themselves over and over again?

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Am I experiencing the same thing over and over again?

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Then start thinking, okay, what is my lesson here?

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Why am I attracting the constant same person over and over again?

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and you should instead of blaming take responsibility for your life okay

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i in my life it's very easy to say you know what my life is shit

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because i had an abusive father no i took responsibility for my life i could have blamed him all day

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but it doesn't matter now does it

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because it's in the past what i did with my life afterwards was all up to me

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and because i took the responsibility

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and i was like liz you know what you're gonna work on yourself

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you're gonna become the best version of yourself

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you're going to become one of the strongest adults you've ever seen that's going to protect your inner child

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when i did that that's when i became successful

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that's when i had everything

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because i refused i refused to just succumb to the abuse to just be like it's your fault

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and i'm going to be the victim here i was never the victim

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i was never the victim i was always going to be the person

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that was going to come out on top no matter what in any situation in any situation

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you put me in i will come out on top no matter what responsibility gives

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you the power over your life and blame takes it away blame gives

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that abuser or that person that was bad to you

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or whatever they did to you that gives them power

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but you have that power when you take responsibility

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and i'm like you know what whatever you did to me how many times

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you lied to me how many times you cheated i am still gonna come out on top

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when you do that, you win.

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you win and don't become addicted to your suffering a lot of you guys are

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so addicted to feeling that sensation of

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that stress again a lot of people around me even

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that also come from abusive childhood they act constant new drama they create for themselves constantly

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because that's the only thing they knew

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and that's what they're kind of addicted to that feeling of

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that rush again that drama again

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but don't don't become addicted to it have some you know what start to realize i'm not

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that person anymore i'm not that abused child i'm not that

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that that person that was cheated on i'm not

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that person anymore i'm a different person

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now i don't need to create those situations again for myself

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i don't need to fight like i used to my life is calm now my life is peaceful

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and start to make

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that your reality say like you know what now i have a good life

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i'm i have a great life actually you know start to say

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that to yourself and start to acknowledge

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that that's the past what has happened has happened

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that doesn't define me today that's not who i am today

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and you guys are not going to treat me like that's who i am today also start to realize

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that who feeds you and who takes from you okay so

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when i was a lot around my previous partner

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i started to think i'm depressed i'm depressed

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i'm sad like i'm always sad i'm isolated this is who I am that's what I constantly thought

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but why did I think that because I didn't have any friends

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or family around me so I was alone with this person constantly

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so they could just make my mind in whoever they wanted to be

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and I started to believe that this is just who I am

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but the minute I came

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and I visited my family I reconnected with old friends I realized I feel alive around these people.

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I feel like I want to live and that's something

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that I hadn't felt in a very very long time because my previous partner was just taking from me.

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Taking, taking, taking and leaving me empty but when I'm here now I'm starting to realize it's an equal given exchange.

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I don't feel sleepy around these people.

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I don't feel drained.

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I don't feel like I want to take my life i feel like i want to live

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so when i understood the difference and after

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that i even think about like oh my previous partner i'm like no i don't want to ever do that again

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because i never want to feel how i felt how bad

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i felt i want to continue being around people i can give to

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and they give me the same way back in an energetical sense always feel it you will feel it

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when you feel fulfilled.

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When you come home from someone, let's say a friend, and you feel like, oh my god, I need to sleep for 10 days now,

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that person has drained you.

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That's not your person.

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You should feel like, oh my god, I have so much energy.

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You know, I reconnected with this old friend of mine and whenever I'm around her, I don't even need sleep.

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We can go on for days and days and days and we just have fun.

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So choose wisely who you surround yourself with because

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that will also shape who you become i recently have been meeting a lot of people

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and i came from isolation to meeting a lot of people

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and i'm starting to realize okay i want to hang out with you

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but i wouldn't hang out with you not because they're a bad person

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but because their lifestyle doesn't align with what i would want in my life for example i've noticed

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that a lot of people have alcohol addiction a lot of people have substance addiction especially now in this world

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and in the age that we live in and I was looking at

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that and they party constantly and all these things

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and I was thinking like you know

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if I become friends with you like really close friends

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and we go out and stuff I don't want

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that to become my life

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because I can see how it would distract me from my work

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and my purpose in this world

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and i feel like i would just get lost you know

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so i then choose my friends like for example that old friend

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that i reconnected with she has the same morals as me that's the same kind of vibration i'm on

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if you choose people that constantly like that aren't really connected to themselves

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and want to escape from reality because that's what i truly think

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that alcohol substance all these things are you just don't want to face reality you don't want to face yourself

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so if you surround yourself with people that constantly party do

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that and i want to escape reality you'll become the other person as well

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and eventually you'll feel like you're losing yourself nothing in excess

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is good too much of anything is bad for you think in the long run

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if you hang out with people you just become them you can even see

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that physically people best friends

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and stuff they start to look alike your aura your aura gets mixed and your energy get mixed.

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If you look at this person and you think, hmm, I would not want to be like them.

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I would not want to live the way they live.

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Then that's not your person.

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And then you choose people that do align to your lifestyle and who you want to be.

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Also start looking at what are people, what are books, what are TV shows, songs teaching you.

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Everywhere we look, we have messages, we have signs.

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And it's almost like God and the universe is constantly talking to us,

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but it's for us to really open our eyes and look at the signs, okay?

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So for example, if you read a book right now, and if I read a book,

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i will see that book in my perspective and i will take from

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that book what was important for me

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and in my world you had a whole different lesson from

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that book what was important for you and in your life

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and your perspective right that's how we get those signs also like people

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that come up to you like i recently met

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this guy in the weirdest way possible such a divine thing okay

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he taught me a lot about myself he was he taught me about my attachment style in relationships

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and he was like liz you have avoidance attachment style

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and i was like whoa what is that and explain to me

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and it's basically that when a person feels more safe alone they will like be in relationships

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but they will never want to fully commit and that's what i have

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so i will

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if someone brings up marriage to me i get scared okay i'm like no no i don't want to do

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that but it's because in my head i feel most safe

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when i'm alone because i didn't have people around me

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when i was younger that i could trust so

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when i felt safe was when liz was alone in her room that's

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when i felt safe so i constantly go back to

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that i never even thought about my attachment style

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because what i constantly attract are anxious attachment people

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so these are people

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that are have abandonment issues they are afraid of getting rejected they're afraid of getting abandoned

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and because of that trauma they get obsessed with me

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because i kind of reject them i kind of always hold this distance you know

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but both of us are acting out of a trauma response

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that was so interesting when that person told all of this to me

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because i was starting to realize

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when i was meeting more people like i don't like how they become

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so almost obsessed or controlling over me immediately

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and then i started to realize but i'm attracting anxious people

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that all have rejection wounds that have abandonment wounds and

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because of the way i act with

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which is in a rejecting way they become obsessed not

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because i'm a great person but because i'm their trauma and

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when i realize this i'm like oh my god

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i'm i'm gonna have to start to work on my own issues

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so i won't attract these people anymore because it's scary

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but look how this person came into my life to teach me

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that and for me to change that you can also do is take a paper

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and write down okay who am i what do i love what don't

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i love what do i do for fun what are my hobbies what were my hobbies

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when i was younger how do i want people to treat me how do i think

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that i treat people these are all questions you can write down

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and ask yourself

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and you'll have all the answers

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you'll have like this little example of who you are as a person another thing is living in the now

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and this is something my sister has told me

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so many times lately because i was like oh sabina

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but i i want to achieve this oh sabina in a month i'm going to do this

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and she constantly reminds me liz live in the now just think about now

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live your life right now look around you live now

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and constantly because i'm reminded of that i feel like I appreciate life more

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and I'm not running from it I feel like my whole life I've just been running

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and going to the next thing and that's why I've never felt fulfilled by anything because

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I'm not acknowledging it you know I'm not acknowledging it yeah okay

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I went viral I went viral on YouTube amazing people would have thrown a party

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because of it I was just like no what's next what's next what's next

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that's why I never realized what was happening

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because I was never living in the now i was always living in the future

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that's how anxiety comes up that's how you have more stress

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because you're constantly thinking about the future but

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if you think right now what can i do now what would i have what tools can i use

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and what can i create now that's when you create the future

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because the future doesn't exist right past also doesn't exist who you have is now

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when you don't appreciate now nothing else will flourish good to have goals

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but don't live for it don't live for the future don't

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become a slave of the future what people think about you is none of your business people can think whatever

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they want okay when you put something out there

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when you create something you will always attract people on your vibration

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or that are meant to see whatever you put out whether it's positive

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or whether it's negative they were meant to see what you put out there you just have to create.

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that's it.

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all of the rest doesn't matter.

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Because it's not your business.

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You will never control their mind.

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You will never control how they think.

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And that's just, why would you want to be in someone's head?

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Be in your own head.

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Think about your own stuff.

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Why are you there? Be here.

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Be present again.

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As you start to realize that what others think about you is none of your business.

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And whether you are the best person on earth, they will not like you still.

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You can be the most PG, nice person ever.

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And people will still have something bad to say about you.

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When you accept that, when you accept that, you know what?

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Criticism, I love it.

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It's a part of life.

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You have the good, you have the bad, and it's beautiful both ways.

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When you accept that, you live like yourself authentically.

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You don't have any fear because you don't have anything to worry about.

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Why would I worry about millions of people's brains?

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Why?

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I don't have time for that.

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So I just put myself out there and what you think of it, it's up to you.

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But somewhere, you saw that video of me because you needed that.

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Whether it hurt you or whether it helped you, you needed that last

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but not least i think believing in yourself is one of the highest ways of connecting with yourself you know

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when everyone tells you like oh no you don't deserve to have

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that you don't deserve to have it and you tell yourself

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but i do i want whatever i want in life

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if i want to have the best life and

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if i want to say let's live like a queen

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and i want to be treated like a queen I can have

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that and who is anyone to say that I don't deserve

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that lots of people have it it exists in this world whatever exists

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I can have as well start to say that to yourself

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when you're like you know I want to be the most confident beautiful amazing smart person

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that I am that's it that's how fast life will change for you

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because you decided that for yourself that's who you want to be

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and that's who you already are so you start unlocking

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that version of you if you listen to no you shouldn't be living like

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that no you shouldn't have this no you shouldn't

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when you listen to

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that it will cloud your mind

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it will start to be like oh my god no

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they told me i was not deserving of a good life

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so now i won't have a good life

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but what are you a slave what are you a slave to these people

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now really start thinking to yourself am i a slave or am i a free spirit

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am i a free soul that came to this earth to live my best life possible

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and to help and create in this earth the best way possible really one thing in life

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that i've always valued because i didn't have it was freedom

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and i'll be damned if someone ever takes that away from me again

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anyways guys i hope you enjoyed this video i hope you learned something from this video

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and yeah i see you in the next video bye bye i love you

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このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント

このスピーキングレッスンは、動画「Study yourself to become confident」を教材にしています。この動画には、シャドーイング用の文が449文、単語が5304語あります。音声の長さは27:31です。話す速さは速く、1分あたり約193語です。音のつながりや弱く発音される音が多くなります。単語の87%は英語の頻出3,000語に含まれるため、語彙は分かりやすいです。

この動画の重要語彙

動画に出てくる覚えておきたい単語15語を、発音と意味つきで紹介します。

単語	発音	意味
therapist 名詞	/ˈθɛɹəpɪst/	セラピスト, 治療士
attract 動詞	/əˈtɹækt/	引きつける
trauma 名詞	/ˈtɹɔm.ə/	外傷, 損傷
addict 名詞	/ˈæd.ɪkt/	中毒者
slave 名詞	/sleɪv/	奴隷
trigger 名詞	/ˈtɹɪɡɚ/	引き金, 鉷
substance 名詞	/ˈsʌbstəns/	物質
acknowledge 動詞	/əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/	承認する, 認める
cheat 動詞	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	騙す, まやかす
authentic 形容詞	/ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/	本物の, 真正な
connect 動詞	/kəˈnɛkt/	繋げる
wound 名詞	/ˈwund/	傷, 怪我
perception 名詞	/pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/	知覚
lesson 名詞	/ˈlɛs.ən/	授業, 学科
belief 名詞	/bɪˈliːf/	確信

動画に出てくる句動詞

単語	発音	意味
wear out 動詞		擦り減らす
come up 動詞		上がる, 登る
write down 動詞		書き留める, 記す
bring up 動詞		育てる
come back 動詞		戻る, 帰る
come out 動詞	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	出る
fill out 動詞	/fɪl ˈaʊt/	書き込む, 記入する
go out 動詞		出る

繰り返し練習したい文

動画に出てくる短く完結した文です。日常会話でそのまま使えます。

Do I feel bad for them?
I'm not an aggressive person.
The reason why you're sad is because you're hurt.
Then start thinking, okay, what is my lesson here?
Why would I worry about millions of people's brains?

この動画の文法

話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。

文型	動画での表現
現在完了進行形 have/has been + -ing — 以前に始まり今も続いている動作	they've been drinking · have been meeting · I've just been running
現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している	have told · i've noticed · have stayed
受動態 be + 過去分詞 — 誰がするかより、何が起きるかに焦点を当てる	are matched · is just made · is shamed

注意したい発音

話し手はdon't, I'm, you'reなど、短縮形や弱形を166回使っています。聞こえたとおりの短い形で発音しましょう。

「th」の音: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
「sh」と「zh」の音: perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, addiction /əˈdɪkˌʃən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, vibration /vaɪˈbɹeɪʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/
長い単語（アクセントの位置に注意）: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, isolation /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/, accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, negotiable /nɪˈɡoʊʃəbəl/

日本語話者が苦手な音：

/r/ と /l/ の区別 — /l/ は舌先を歯茎につけ、/r/ はどこにもつけない: viral /ˈvaɪɹəl/, moral /ˈmoɹəl/, replica /ˈɹɛplɪkə/, flourish /ˈflʊ̈ɹ.ɪʃ/
/v/ — /b/ にならないように、上の歯を下唇に当てる: slave /sleɪv/, abusive /əˈbju.sɪv/, sensitive /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/, aggressive /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/, viral /ˈvaɪɹəl/
/f/ — 「フ」ではなく、上の歯と下唇で出す: belief /bɪˈliːf/, comfort /ˈkʌm.fət/, define /dɪˈfaɪn/, physically /ˈfɪz.ɪ.kli/, lifestyle /ˈlaɪfˌstaɪl/

この動画での練習方法

まず声を出さずに動画を最後まで聞き、知らない単語をメモします。
まず0.75倍速で一文ずつシャドーイングし、慣れてきたら通常の速度に戻します。
自分の声を録音して元の音声と比べます。therapist, attract, traumaなどの単語に特に注意しましょう。

シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由

シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。

シャドーイングのやり方: ステップ別の完全ガイドを読む →

シャドーイング練習: Study yourself to become confident - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント

この動画の重要語彙

動画に出てくる句動詞

繰り返し練習したい文

この動画の文法

注意したい発音

この動画での練習方法

シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由