쉐도잉 연습: 4 Things That Are Keeping You From Being a High Performer - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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Have you ever noticed that every time your life starts getting really good, somehow you find a way to screw it up?
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Like you finally start going to the gym consistently and then you stop.
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Your business starts doing well and then suddenly you lose the momentum.
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You meet someone who's actually good for you and somehow you push them away.
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Most people call this self-sabotage, but what if self-sabotage isn't actually the problem?
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What if self-sabotage is just the symptom of something that is much deeper happening inside of your brain and your nervous system?
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So today I'm going to show you the four hidden mechanisms that control your motivation, your consistency, your confidence, and your performance.
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Because once you understand what's actually happening beneath the surface, you stop trying to force yourself to change and you finally start working with your brain instead of against it.
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Okay, So let's dive in after coaching tens of thousands of people
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over the past decade I can tell you what we're dealing with here is not a potential problem
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And if you don't understand the four things
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that we're gonna be covering today Here's what's gonna keep happening to you
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So the first thing keeping you from being a high performer
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is this your nervous system has a set point That's number one your nervous system has a set point
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and it will pull you back down to it every single time I'll give you an example.
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Have you ever had this happen?
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You have the best month that you've ever had in your business
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and then the very next month you completely fall off
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or you get into the best shape of your life
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and then something happens and three months later you're right back to where you started
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or the wildest one
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which i see a lot of times with people you finally
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get into a relationship that's actually healthy that's actually good for you somebody who actually loves you well
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and you find yourself picking a fight over absolutely nothing now most people look at
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that and they're like yeah that's just self-sabotage i self-sabotage Yeah, but you don't know why.
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Why do you self-sabotage?
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Have you ever asked yourself that?
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Because you self-sabotage for a reason.
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Your brain's number one job is not to make you happy.
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Your brain's number one job is not to make you successful.
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Its number one job is to keep you alive.
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And the way it keeps you alive is by keeping you in a state that is recognizable.
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Because your brain thinks recognizable means survivable.
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You've been there before.
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You didn't die so this is safe.
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Your body does the exact same thing physically already.
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98.6 degrees.
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That's what your body temperature is set to.
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If you get too hot, you sweat.
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If you get too cold, you shiver.
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Your body doesn't care if you want to be hotter or if you want to be colder.
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It's going to do whatever it needs to do to get you back to 98.6 degrees.
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You have to understand your nervous system does the exact same thing with your life, unconsciously, except instead of a temperature,
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it's your stress level, it's your income level, it's your happiness level, it's how much love you're allowed to, quote unquote, allowed to receive.
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It's how good things are allowed to get before your body, your subconscious, your nervous system goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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We're at a range.
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And then when you go above the set point, even if it's good, especially when it's good, your nervous system starts sweating.
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And it's like, oh, we need to change this and go back to normal.
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And what is, you know, like, quote unquote, sweating look like in this situation?
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It's like picking a fight with your spouse
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or skipping the gym for a week for no reason
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or scrolling for two hours the night before your biggest presentation of your life.
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I need you to understand this.
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It's not that you're lazy in those situations or that you're broken or something's wrong with you, you're regulating.
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You're bringing the temperature back down to what your nervous system thinks is normal.
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And we will be right back.
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Hey, real quick, let me interrupt you.
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I'm doing a free live training called Break the Ceiling 2026.
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This is for anyone who knows that they're capable of more, but just keeps hitting the same ceilings no matter how hard they try.
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We're going to get into exactly why that keeps happening and how to finally change forever so that your income, your relationships, your happiness, your life is better.
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You can register for free by going ahead and scanning this QR code right here, or you can go to BreakTheCealing2026.com.
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Once again, BreakTheCealing2026.com, and I'll see you live on the workshop.
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And now back to the show.
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And here's what makes it so hidden.
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Self-sabotage never really feels like it's self-sabotage in a moment.
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It feels reasonable for some reason.
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It's always like a really good excuse.
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Oh, I'm just tired this week, or I deserve it.
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I deserve a little bit of a break or you know what?
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Right now is just not the right time.
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Like it seems reasonable, it seems logical a lot of times.
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In those situations, it's not really like you making a decision.
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That's like your subconscious sweating, right?
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It's bringing you back to what it thinks is 98.6 degrees.
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And so what do you actually do about it?
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Well, you have to raise your set point and the only way to raise your set point is exposure.
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Your nervous system has to get used to the exposure of doing better than you've ever done before.
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You have to stay at the new level long enough
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that your nervous system stops calling it dangerous and it starts thinking of it as normal.
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Which means your goals right now might actually be too big.
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It might be the problem that you don't need a really big goal.
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You might need goals that are just a little bit better than what you're doing right now.
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Your goal being a little bit better might actually have your nervous system to get used to it quicker.
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So you lose five pounds, not 50 pounds, you lose five pounds.
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And you're like, oh, I'm starting to get used to it.
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It kind of gets boring.
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You're more consistent with it.
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Maybe you have those five pounds off for 30 days.
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Maybe you have a little bit more money in your bank account, or maybe you have a little bit more vulnerability in your relationships.
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It's not massive changes is it's a tiny bit of a change
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that you're allowing your nervous system to get used to through exposure
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so that it starts to deem it as safe and not dangerous.
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Because if it becomes boring to you, it means your body has finally accepted it.
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And once your body accepts it, it becomes your new normal.
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It's about being a tiny bit better each day.
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It's not about changing your entire life overnight.
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Incrementally better, feel safer to the nervous system than uprooting your entire life.
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Slow and steady wins the race.
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So that's number one.
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Number two is you never really finish your stress cycle.
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You have never truly learned how to recover.
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And I don't mean rest, I mean recover.
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These are two different things, right?
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Your stress response is designed to be a cycle.
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There's a threat, your body activates, you take action, the threat resolves, you come back down to baseline.
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It's like if a zebra sees a lion, it runs, it escapes, it goes back to eating grass 20 minutes later, like nothing happened.
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Cycle complete.
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The cortisol is out of the body of the zebra because it ran it out.
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It's back to normal.
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No threat is now here.
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Now look at your life though.
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The crazy thing about life nowadays is that there's always a threat.
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You know, and I don't mean like a physical threat.
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It's like a little bit of a tiny threat in our mind, like an email that comes in, numbers on a spreadsheet, a conversation that you've been dreading for six weeks,
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a text that you haven't answered.
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And there's no running from these things.
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There's no escaping.
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There's no moment where the lion walks away because we're constantly being bombarded by these little things.
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And so the cycle never actually closes.
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This is a really, really big problem in modern society that I don't think people know about.
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I recognize this in my life probably about four years ago, being a business owner.
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I have 40 employees.
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We've done over $20 million in the past five years.
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There's always something that my brain can go to to stir me up.
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So I've gotten myself stuck in that for years and years in the past
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And all of this stuff happens and then you go to bed with it
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and you wake up and it stacks on top of tomorrows
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And you do that every single day for 10 years
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and there's no like There's no like release valve for high performers, right?
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There's a researcher called bruce mcguin who spent his entire career
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on this He came up with a term that's called allostatic load
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Which basically means the wear and tear on your body from being chronically activated
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I have found myself years ago being chronically activated.
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And here's what I want you to understand about it.
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The damage doesn't come from stress.
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Stress is fine.
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Stress is actually how you grow.
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The damage comes from the stress that never gets completed.
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Nobody nowadays deloads their life.
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Everybody's just running red line as fast as they can.
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They never actually allow themselves to deload until their body forces them to deload.
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right?
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And it always, your body will always force one eventually.
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It doesn't ask for permission.
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It doesn't schedule it at a convenient week.
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It'll just show up as burnout or a heart attack or an injury or getting sick.
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Every time you finally take a vacation, it'll show up as a panic attack in the car as your marriage slowly falls apart.
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And so how do you close the cycle on stress and deload so that you can recover from all of this?
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These are things that I've prioritized in in my life the past few years
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when I realized that I was running most of my life with like this mid-level stress that never went away.
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The first thing, move your body.
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It's the oldest.
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It's the most reliable one because it's literally what the chemistry was built for.
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You've got to move your body to let your body process the cortisol
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that you have from the stress so that you can get it out.
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This is one of the most important things you can do.
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That's the first thing.
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The second thing, breathe.
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Specifically, longer exhales than inhales.
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Slow breathing because that's what tells your body that the lion is gone.
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The first thing that activates when you're in quote-unquote danger is your breath, short breath.
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So many people are just walking around short breathing all day long, realizing that it's keeping them in fight or flight.
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And then number three, close your open loops.
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Get the unfinished stuff finished or at least out of your head
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and onto a piece of paper with the decision next to it, even if that decision is not this month, so that therefore you can close it
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and your brain doesn't see it as this low-level stress and threat that's continuing to stay open as an open loop.
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Okay, so that's number two.
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Number three, I want you to realize this.
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You're not avoiding hard things.
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You're avoiding the unclear things in your life.
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This one might be my favorite because almost nobody talks about it.
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You're not avoiding difficult things or because they're hard or any of that.
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You're avoiding things that are ambiguous.
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Think about your to-do list right now.
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The stuff that's been sitting there for three weeks, be honest.
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Is it actually the hardest stuff in the list?
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It's usually not.
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It's used as stuff where you don't really know what the next step is.
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It's stuff like figure out marketing or fix things with my brother
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or have that tough conversation or look into that opportunity or get my finances in order, something like that, where it's kind of like ambiguous.
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It's like grabbing water.
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You can't literally grab it.
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Meanwhile, like you'll actually happily do something that's a little bit harder, like wake up at 5 a.m or go to the gym three times a week
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or something that's easy to just check off your list, like do the laundry.
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Why are you more likely to do them?
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Because there's zero ambiguity in them.
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They are clear.
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They know, you know exactly what to do.
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You know exactly when you're done and you know exactly what the finish line looks like.
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Crazy study I think about all the time.
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There was a study out of University of College of London a few years ago
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and they had people play a game where they would turn over rocks.
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And under some of the rocks was a snake.
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And if there was a snake, they would get an electric shock.
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And they measured people's stress levels like real physical stress, the cortisol, the sweat, the pupil dilation, and here's what's crazy that they found.
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The people who had a 50% chance of getting shocked
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were more stressed than the people who had a 100% chance of getting shocked.
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Hmm, why is that?
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Well, you have to think about this for a second.
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Just knowing the fact that you're about to get hurt was less stressful to the human body than not knowing.
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So uncertainty isn't just uncomfortable.
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Your brain, it sees that as the threat.
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The shock wasn't a threat.
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The uncertainty was a threat, which means that your brain would genuinely rather have a guaranteed bad outcome than have an unknown outcome.
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And that right there, everybody, that right there is why people stay in jobs that they hate.
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That's why people stay in relationships that they outgrew five years ago.
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That's why known pain beats unknown anything.
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Sit with that information for a moment.
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Like that's life-changing if you really think about it.
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This is the reason why people stay in misery
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and don't change their lives is because they're more afraid of uncertainty than anything else.
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Now, how do you put that together for high performance?
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Here's how you do it.
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The highest leverage work in any field is almost always ambiguous work.
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Nobody hands you a checklist for the thing that would change your life.
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There's no instruction manual for building a business.
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There's no instruction manual for healing your childhood trauma, for having a conversation that saves your marriage,
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for figuring out what you're actually supposed to be doing with this one life that you have.
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Right?
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And so when you look at it, that's the reason why you're not checking off the biggest things on your to-do list is because they're too ambiguous.
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So how do you fix it?
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You don't need to try to become fearless.
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You need to shrink the ambiguity on your to-do list.
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Take something like grow revenue this month.
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That's a terrible thing to have on your to do list.
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And switch it to open a document and write down ten people that I will reach out to this week.
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Right?
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That's it.
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No ambiguity because your brain doesn't need certainty about the outcome.
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Your brain needs certainty about the next step.
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Do you get that about the next step?
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And so here's what I want you to do with this info.
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Find the thing that's been sitting on your to-do list for the longest and ask yourself, is this hard or is it just unclear?
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And if it's unclear, your job is to make the next step so small, so obvious that there's nothing left to be afraid of.
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Okay?
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So that's number three.
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And number four is you've never actually defined what enough is.
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Let me explain what I mean by that, right?
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This is the one that keeps most talented people that I know miserable, most high achievers miserable.
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You've never actually defined what enough looks like in your life.
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So your brain never gets to log a simple win.
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Because here's how it goes hit the goal and you feel it for about 30 minutes and then it's gone.
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And then the bar moves and you're already looking towards the next thing.
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There's a researcher at Harvard named Teresa Amabile who did this massive study where she analyzed thousands
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and thousands of daily diary entries from people at work trying to figure out what actually drives motivation on a given day.
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The number one thing, it wasn't money, it wasn't recognition, it wasn't a promotion.
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It was making small progress in meaningful work.
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Small wins, that's it.
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That was the single biggest driver in motivation.
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But here's the catch, and this is the part that gets a lot of people.
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You cannot make progress if the finish line continues to move every single time you get close to it.
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Then by definition, you've never actually made any real progress, right?
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You're just running towards the horizon.
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The closer you get, the further it gets away from you, Forever.
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In your brain, it needs this completion.
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It needs to build evidence.
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As Tony Robbins always says, progress equals happiness.
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Humans want to feel like they're progressing.
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We really, truly do want to feel like we're progressing.
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And if you never let anything be done, then you never really collect any evidence for your success.
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So you can do an extraordinary thing for a decade and still feel like you're behind.
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And many, many people feel this way.
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I felt this way, right?
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You need to cross small finish lines.
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That little bit of acknowledgement is what gives your brain the dopamine hit that says, hey, we just did something worth doing, let's do it again.
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And once your brain expects that hit, it starts giving it to you before you even start.
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And that's when the work stops being something
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that you have to drag yourself to do
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because dopamine actually is the chemical of motivation and you actually start feeling pulled to do it.
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And so if you bring it all together, let's zoom out for a second because I want you to know something about all of these.
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The set point, the dopamine, the stress cycle, the ambiguity, the completion, not one of them is about you working harder.
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It's not.
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Every single one of them is about your biology running an old program in the background, a program that was written 200,000 years ago to keep human beings alive,
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not to help a human build an amazing life.
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And so you've been trying to out-discipline your biology, and that's why it hasn't worked.
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That's why the motivation keeps running out.
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You're not fighting laziness you're fighting a freaking survival system that's built into us with willpower.
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That's like trying to scream at a rainstorm and hope that it stops.
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You're going to lose.
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So high performance is not about becoming a machine.
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Most people think they need to like swim faster, right?
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If we're using that as an example, you don't need to swim faster.
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You've got weight tied to your ankle.
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And if you just cut the weight off, you don't have to swim any harder at all.
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You'll just suddenly start moving at a speed that you couldn't reach before
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because you don't have that ankle weight tied to you anymore.
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That's high performance.
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It's getting rid of all of the things that are interfering with your high performance.
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And so here's what I want you to do.
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I don't want you to try to fix all four of these things.
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If you try to fix all of them, you're going to fix zero.
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That's how it always goes.
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I want you to pick one.
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And I want you to pick one that made you a little bit uncomfortable as I was talking about.
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The one where you're like, oh, yeah, that one actually feels like it hits.
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It's not a coincidence.
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That's the one that your brain has been protecting.
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And that's exactly the one that's been costing you the most.
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And so work on that one thing for the next 30 days.
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You don't have to be perfect, just be consistent.
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And I promise you, 30 days from now, you're not gonna be a different person, but you're going to be a person with one less weight tied to their ankle.
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And you do that a few times over the next few years, and then you will be somebody a few years from today that you don't recognize.
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Hey, thanks so much for watching today's video.
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If you love this video, click this one right here.
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This is the one that you need to watch next.
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And if you wanna make sure you don't miss any more of these episodes, click that button right there.
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Make sure you subscribe and check out the next one.
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이 클립이 훌륭한 말하기 연습 자료인 이유
이 동영상 클립은 영어 쉐도잉이나 IELTS 스피킹 연습에 아주 적합합니다. 일상적인 주제가 아닌 심리적 메커니즘을 다루면서도, 자연스러운 구어체 표현이 풍부하기 때문입니다. "screw it up", "fall off", "pick a fight"와 같은 관용구들이 포함되어 있어, 영어 회화 연습에 필요한 실용적인 표현을 익힐 수 있습니다. 또한, 화자가 논리를 전개하는 방식이 명확하여 듣는 이의 이해를 돕는 동시에, 말하기에서 구조를 잡는 연습에도 도움이 됩니다.
자연스러운 표현 분석
- "Have you ever noticed that every time your life starts getting really good, somehow you find a way to screw it up?" - "screw it up"은 "망치다"는 뜻의 구어체 표현으로, 일상 대화에서 자주 사용됩니다. "somehow"는 "어떻게인지 모르지만"이라는 뉘앙스로, 불명확한 원인을 나타낼 때 자연스럽게 사용됩니다.
- "Your brain's number one job is not to make you happy. It's to keep you alive." - "number one job"은 "가장 중요한 일"로, 간결하면서도 강조하는 표현입니다. "It's to"는 전문을 생략한 구어체로, 말하기에서 자연스러운 흐름을 만들어줍니다.
- "We're at a range. And then when you go above the set point, even if it's good, especially when it's good, your nervous system starts sweating." - "sweating"은 "긴장하다"는 비유적 표현으로, 상황을 생동감 있게 전달합니다. "even if it's good, especially when it's good"는 대조적인 상황을 강조하여, 논리를 더욱 명확하게 만듭니다.
실전 연습 루틴: 쉐도잉을 통한 회화 연습
이 비디오는 영어 쉐도잉에 최적화된 자료입니다. 다음과 같은 단계로 연습해보세요:
- 비디오를 5초씩 재생한 후 멈추고, 화자의 발음과 억양을 따라서 말해보세요. 특히 "screw it up", "fall off"와 같은 관용구의 발음을 주의깊게 듣고 따라하세요.
- 자신의 목소리를 녹음하여 원본과 비교해보세요. 억양과 강세가 일치하는지 확인하고, 부족한 부분을 보완합니다.
- 전체 대화를 외우지 않고, 핵심 내용을 바탕으로 자유롭게 말해보세요. "nervous system set point"와 같은 개념을 자신의 말로 표현해보면서, IELTS 스피킹에서 요구되는 논리적 표현 능력을 기릅니다.
이 연습을 통해 영어 회화의 자연스러움을 익히고, 동시에 심리학적 개념을 이해할 수 있습니다. 매일 10분씩 연습하면, 말하기 실력이 빠르게 향상될 것입니다!
이 영상의 문법
화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.
| 문형 | 영상 속 표현 |
|---|---|
| 현재완료진행 have/has been + -ing — 전에 시작해 지금도 계속되는 동작 | you've been dreading · you've been trying · has been protecting |
| 현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때 | You've been · you've ever done · has finally accepted |
| 수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점 | is set · are allowed · is designed |
| 관계절 who / which + 절 — 사람이나 사물에 대한 추가 정보 | somebody who actually · anyone who knows · people who had |
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.