쉐도잉 연습: How to Become Dangerously Confident (Without Faking It) - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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What if I told you the key to actually being confident isn't to fake it till you make it?
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What if I told you the key to actually being confident isn't to fake it till you make it?
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I hear so much advice online saying that to be confident,
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you just have to be yourself.
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Think positive thoughts or just don't be shy.
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And that's all a load of f***.
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I've spoken on thousands of stages to millions of people all over the world
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and the number one topic I get asked about is about self-confidence.
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So in today's video, I want to share with you a simple framework to help you look,
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sound and feel more confident in any situation?
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This question actually came up inside a private Q&A I ran for my community.
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It was so powerful that I just had to share it with you here on YouTube
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because I know so many of you struggle with confidence too.
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So have a listen.
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I would definitely put myself in the category of shy people.
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So I recently joined the program.
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I applied the knowledge that you shared.
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So smiling at people, saying good morning,
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and also asking the guy at the gym counter for a free protein shake getting outside my comfort zone.
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All of that.
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Did you get the free protein shake?
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I did.
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So thank you very much for the free protein shake.
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It's pretty easy.
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Isn't that crazy?
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Most people never dare to ask most people will never receive as a result of that.
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Well done, Daniel.
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That's so good.
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Do you have a hack a life hack to speed up that reprogramming of the minds to overcome the old behavior?
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Yeah, I can give you a framework for this Daniel.
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And I really I do want to just congratulate you again for what I call breaking the mold.
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I think a lot of us go through life having a mold for ourselves and we all call ourselves different things.
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Some people go, oh, I'm shy and that's a label, right?
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But some people say, oh, I'm not charismatic.
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Oh, I'm very technical.
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Oh, I'm a nerd or whatever your label may be for yourself.
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I think what Daniel just did there that's so inspiring is he broke out of his mold.
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He did something that's outside of what he would normally do.
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He tried new different behaviors.
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The framework that I want to give you to supercharge your process of exploring you.
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Don't just think of it as,
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oh, right now I'm shy and I'm just gonna explore the confident version of me.
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You are a multifaceted, multi-dimensional human being.
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There are so many different versions of you.
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There's a version of you that's extremely charismatic.
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There's a version of you that's super sweet to talk to.
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There's a version of you that's extremely deep and philosophical.
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There's a version of you that's incredibly inspiring.
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There are so many versions of you.
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So the framework I wanna give you is gonna supercharge your exploration process.
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And right now, let's just think about it from a shy and confident perspective, okay?
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When you're thinking about, let's say, for example, shy.
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I want you to think of shy,
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first of all, two buckets of behavior.
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I want you to think of the vocal versus the visual.
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What are some of the vocal and visual behaviors of a shy person?
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Please let me know in chat.
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Let me know in chat,
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what are some vocal qualities of someone who's shy?
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And what are some visual qualities of someone who's shy.
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We've got here, we've got someone shy,
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your voice is quiet, you look down a lot,
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your tone, less melody in your voice,
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you're timid, so maybe the timid can be seen in your posture, right?
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Softly spoken, so again we can see that there.
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Don't socialize, it's a lot of filler words,
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no direct eye contact, that's interesting.
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Making yourself smaller, again smaller posture, even when they gesture.
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Closed body language, ah interesting, right?
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So maybe a little bit standoffish,
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maybe hands behind the back a little bit, right?
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Apologetic tone, isn't that interesting?
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You can see immediately, we all understand and can recognize shy behaviors.
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We know what they are, right?
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So you've got the visual and then you've got the vocal.
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Now, when you're trying to supercharge you exploring the confident version of you,
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there's a simple little framework that I use and it's called look, feel, and sound.
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Look, feel, and sound.
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And let me ask you,
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out of all of these three things that I'm talking about here,
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the way you look, the way you feel,
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the way you sound, Tell me which one is the most difficult to control?
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It's the way you feel.
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The way you feel is extremely difficult to control.
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Yet when we wanna be more confident,
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which one do we seek first?
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I've been teaching this for more than 15 years.
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And I can tell you now,
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most people, when they're in the moment with me,
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they don't say, Vin, I wish I looked more confident.
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Vin, I wish I sounded more confident.
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They don't say that.
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They say, I wish I feel more confident before this presentation.
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Vin, I wish I feel more confident before going into this job interview.
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Vin, I wish I feel more confident having this difficult discussion with my partner.
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It's feel.
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So we go for the thing that is the most difficult to control.
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Whereas what you noticed in Daniel's question is he said he went into the gym and he did what?
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He smiled.
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He smiled and he spoke differently.
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He asked different questions.
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So he controlled things that were easier to control as opposed to trying to control the thing that's more difficult to control.
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So what I suggest you all do is the next time you want to be more confident
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and you all know the answer to this and that's the fascinating part.
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Think about it.
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Focus on the things that are easier to control.
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Focus on the way you look and focus on the way you sound.
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And just before I dive into examples of how to look more confident and sound more confident,
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this framework is just one of many that I teach to help my students become more confident.
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If you want to learn three more frameworks to improve your confidence in situations like team meetings,
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presentations, everyday conversations,
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then I highly recommend you check out my free two-hour training
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on communication frameworks where I run through specific frameworks in detail that's going to supercharge your ability to speak
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when put on the spot and increase your confidence in everyday conversations.
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Just click the link below in the description if you want access to it.
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All right, back to the video.
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So tell me, how does a confident person look?
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What do they do with their posture?
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They stand taller.
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They're not afraid to take up space.
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They've got a big smile on their face,
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right they are way more relaxed right someone even said dressed well right
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so so dress well
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so immediately all these different ideas pop into your head about what a confident person looks like
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so then look like a confident person what about sound how does a confident person sound
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they're not afraid to have melody in their voice,
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strong levels of volume, not afraid of the pause.
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And you start to recognize,
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you can just write down a few behaviors and you can harvest them from chat here.
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Like again, strong eye contact.
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And as you start to note down three or four things that you can do when you're confident,
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the way you look and with the way you sound,
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here's the crazy hack that supercharges it all.
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Because as you start to sound more confident,
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you will start to feel more confident.
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As you start to look more confident,
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you will start to feel more confident.
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So you're supercharging the brain and you're sending the brain overwhelming signals that you are confident.
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And then what does the brain do?
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Brain goes, well, bloody look confident, mate.
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You bloody sound confident, so I guess we'll give you the feeling of confidence.
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So you literally can supercharge the process.
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The reason you're so good at being shy is because you've been practicing shy behaviors for the last 10,
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20, 30 years of your life.
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And do you notice Daniel's,
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do you hear the joy in his voice?
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I can hear it because he's discovering this new life
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that he can live and he's discovering that the world reacts to me differently as I show up differently.
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Does that mean Daniel's completely changed who he is and now he's a fake and phony person?
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No, no, he's exploring the confident version of him.
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There's going to be a great time in life when
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that shy version of you is really important that you bring back out
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because you're connecting with a really shy person because if you went
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and met that person shy person with a really confident version of you you'd freak him out
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but that's probably one of the rare situations where you would use
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that shy version of you which is still very valuable
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but stop just letting that shy version of you dominate state the stage time
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and is always the one in this play we call life that's on stage
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and it's just always the shy was like get off the
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stage already shy give confidence some stage time right come on stop being a hog right i love you shy
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but you've been on stage for the last 36 years get off mate give somebody else a turn
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