Shadowing Practice: How to Become Dangerously Confident (Without Faking It) - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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What if I told you the key to actually being confident isn't to fake it till you make it?
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What if I told you the key to actually being confident isn't to fake it till you make it?
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I hear so much advice online saying that to be confident,
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you just have to be yourself.
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Think positive thoughts or just don't be shy.
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And that's all a load of f***.
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I've spoken on thousands of stages to millions of people all over the world
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and the number one topic I get asked about is about self-confidence.
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So in today's video, I want to share with you a simple framework to help you look,
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sound and feel more confident in any situation?
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This question actually came up inside a private Q&A I ran for my community.
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It was so powerful that I just had to share it with you here on YouTube
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because I know so many of you struggle with confidence too.
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So have a listen.
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I would definitely put myself in the category of shy people.
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So I recently joined the program.
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I applied the knowledge that you shared.
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So smiling at people, saying good morning,
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and also asking the guy at the gym counter for a free protein shake getting outside my comfort zone.
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All of that.
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Did you get the free protein shake?
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I did.
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So thank you very much for the free protein shake.
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It's pretty easy.
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Isn't that crazy?
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Most people never dare to ask most people will never receive as a result of that.
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Well done, Daniel.
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That's so good.
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Do you have a hack a life hack to speed up that reprogramming of the minds to overcome the old behavior?
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Yeah, I can give you a framework for this Daniel.
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And I really I do want to just congratulate you again for what I call breaking the mold.
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I think a lot of us go through life having a mold for ourselves and we all call ourselves different things.
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Some people go, oh, I'm shy and that's a label, right?
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But some people say, oh, I'm not charismatic.
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Oh, I'm very technical.
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Oh, I'm a nerd or whatever your label may be for yourself.
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I think what Daniel just did there that's so inspiring is he broke out of his mold.
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He did something that's outside of what he would normally do.
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He tried new different behaviors.
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The framework that I want to give you to supercharge your process of exploring you.
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Don't just think of it as,
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oh, right now I'm shy and I'm just gonna explore the confident version of me.
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You are a multifaceted, multi-dimensional human being.
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There are so many different versions of you.
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There's a version of you that's extremely charismatic.
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There's a version of you that's super sweet to talk to.
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There's a version of you that's extremely deep and philosophical.
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There's a version of you that's incredibly inspiring.
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There are so many versions of you.
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So the framework I wanna give you is gonna supercharge your exploration process.
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And right now, let's just think about it from a shy and confident perspective, okay?
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When you're thinking about, let's say, for example, shy.
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I want you to think of shy,
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first of all, two buckets of behavior.
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I want you to think of the vocal versus the visual.
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What are some of the vocal and visual behaviors of a shy person?
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Please let me know in chat.
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Let me know in chat,
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what are some vocal qualities of someone who's shy?
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And what are some visual qualities of someone who's shy.
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We've got here, we've got someone shy,
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your voice is quiet, you look down a lot,
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your tone, less melody in your voice,
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you're timid, so maybe the timid can be seen in your posture, right?
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Softly spoken, so again we can see that there.
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Don't socialize, it's a lot of filler words,
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no direct eye contact, that's interesting.
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Making yourself smaller, again smaller posture, even when they gesture.
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Closed body language, ah interesting, right?
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So maybe a little bit standoffish,
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maybe hands behind the back a little bit, right?
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Apologetic tone, isn't that interesting?
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You can see immediately, we all understand and can recognize shy behaviors.
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We know what they are, right?
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So you've got the visual and then you've got the vocal.
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Now, when you're trying to supercharge you exploring the confident version of you,
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there's a simple little framework that I use and it's called look, feel, and sound.
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Look, feel, and sound.
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And let me ask you,
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out of all of these three things that I'm talking about here,
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the way you look, the way you feel,
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the way you sound, Tell me which one is the most difficult to control?
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It's the way you feel.
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The way you feel is extremely difficult to control.
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Yet when we wanna be more confident,
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which one do we seek first?
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I've been teaching this for more than 15 years.
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And I can tell you now,
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most people, when they're in the moment with me,
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they don't say, Vin, I wish I looked more confident.
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Vin, I wish I sounded more confident.
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They don't say that.
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They say, I wish I feel more confident before this presentation.
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Vin, I wish I feel more confident before going into this job interview.
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Vin, I wish I feel more confident having this difficult discussion with my partner.
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It's feel.
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So we go for the thing that is the most difficult to control.
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Whereas what you noticed in Daniel's question is he said he went into the gym and he did what?
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He smiled.
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He smiled and he spoke differently.
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He asked different questions.
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So he controlled things that were easier to control as opposed to trying to control the thing that's more difficult to control.
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So what I suggest you all do is the next time you want to be more confident
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and you all know the answer to this and that's the fascinating part.
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Think about it.
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Focus on the things that are easier to control.
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Focus on the way you look and focus on the way you sound.
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And just before I dive into examples of how to look more confident and sound more confident,
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this framework is just one of many that I teach to help my students become more confident.
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If you want to learn three more frameworks to improve your confidence in situations like team meetings,
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presentations, everyday conversations,
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then I highly recommend you check out my free two-hour training
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on communication frameworks where I run through specific frameworks in detail that's going to supercharge your ability to speak
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when put on the spot and increase your confidence in everyday conversations.
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Just click the link below in the description if you want access to it.
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All right, back to the video.
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So tell me, how does a confident person look?
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What do they do with their posture?
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They stand taller.
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They're not afraid to take up space.
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They've got a big smile on their face,
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right they are way more relaxed right someone even said dressed well right
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so so dress well
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so immediately all these different ideas pop into your head about what a confident person looks like
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so then look like a confident person what about sound how does a confident person sound
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they're not afraid to have melody in their voice,
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strong levels of volume, not afraid of the pause.
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And you start to recognize,
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you can just write down a few behaviors and you can harvest them from chat here.
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Like again, strong eye contact.
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And as you start to note down three or four things that you can do when you're confident,
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the way you look and with the way you sound,
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here's the crazy hack that supercharges it all.
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Because as you start to sound more confident,
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you will start to feel more confident.
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As you start to look more confident,
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you will start to feel more confident.
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So you're supercharging the brain and you're sending the brain overwhelming signals that you are confident.
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And then what does the brain do?
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Brain goes, well, bloody look confident, mate.
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You bloody sound confident, so I guess we'll give you the feeling of confidence.
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So you literally can supercharge the process.
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The reason you're so good at being shy is because you've been practicing shy behaviors for the last 10,
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20, 30 years of your life.
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And do you notice Daniel's,
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do you hear the joy in his voice?
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I can hear it because he's discovering this new life
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that he can live and he's discovering that the world reacts to me differently as I show up differently.
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Does that mean Daniel's completely changed who he is and now he's a fake and phony person?
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No, no, he's exploring the confident version of him.
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There's going to be a great time in life when
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that shy version of you is really important that you bring back out
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because you're connecting with a really shy person because if you went
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and met that person shy person with a really confident version of you you'd freak him out
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but that's probably one of the rare situations where you would use
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that shy version of you which is still very valuable
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but stop just letting that shy version of you dominate state the stage time
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and is always the one in this play we call life that's on stage
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and it's just always the shy was like get off the
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stage already shy give confidence some stage time right come on stop being a hog right i love you shy
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but you've been on stage for the last 36 years get off mate give somebody else a turn
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Context & Background
In a recent enlightening video titled "How to Become Dangerously Confident (Without Faking It)," the speaker draws upon their extensive experience of addressing diverse audiences worldwide. They emphasize that conventional advice—such as "just be yourself" or "think positive thoughts"—often falls short in fostering genuine self-confidence. Instead, they provide a practical framework designed to help viewers appear, sound, and feel more confident in any social situation. This insightful guidance resonates particularly well with individuals who identify as shy or struggle with self-esteem, encouraging them to step outside their comfort zones and embrace their multifaceted identities.
Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication
- “Good morning!” – A simple yet effective greeting that can set a positive tone for your interactions.
- “Can I have a protein shake?” – An example of a confident request that many hesitate to make.
- “How are you doing today?” – A great conversation starter that enables connection.
- “I appreciate your help!” – Acknowledging others can build rapport and enhance your social confidence.
- “What do you think about this?” – Inviting opinions can facilitate meaningful dialogue and showcase your engaging personality.
Step-by-step Shadowing Guide
To tackle the content of this video effectively and improve your English speaking skills, follow this step-by-step shadowing guide. Shadowing—an interactive method where you mimic a speaker—can significantly enhance your pronunciation and fluency. Here’s how to implement it:
- Choose the Right Segment: Start by selecting a short section of the video that resonates with you. Perhaps focus on the speaker's advice about breaking out of personal labels.
- Listen Carefully: Play the segment and listen attentively. Pay close attention to the speaker's tone, rhythm, and intonation patterns.
- Use a Shadowing App: Utilize a shadowing app to facilitate your practice. These apps often provide features that allow you to slow down the speech for clearer understanding.
- Repeat and Imitate: Start shadow speak by repeating what you hear immediately. Aim to imitate the speaker's voice and style as closely as possible.
- Record Yourself: After each shadowing session, record yourself to compare your pronunciation and intonation against the original. This will help you monitor your improvement over time.
- Expand Your Practice: Integrate more phrases from the video into your daily conversations. Practicing with others can enhance both your confidence and conversational skills.
By consistently applying this shadowing method, you can learn English with YouTube effectively, ultimately leading to improved English pronunciation and increased self-assurance in social settings.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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