Shadowing Practice: How to Sound Friendly Without Losing Authority - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.

290 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

I'm a real estate agent, so I'm talking to lots of people all the time.

I would say something quite normal that I think is quite friendly.

And quite often people walk out of a meeting and go, it was a terrifying experience.

It sort of leaves me with that sort of thought about, oh gosh, do I say something or don't I?

That's Marco.

And if you're like him and you have a client -facing job,

you might be doing four small things when you're talking to others that's causing you to appear cold,

unapproachable, and maybe even a little intimidating without you even realizing.

My name's Vin, I'm a communication skills coach

and I've helped millions of people improve their public speaking over the last 15 years.

In this exclusive coaching session, you're going to learn through Marco what those four habits are

and how to fix them immediately so you can come across the way you intend to.

Let's dive into it.

Why do you think people currently perceive you as being stern?

If you had to take a guess, Why do you think they perceive you as being stern?

Probably the words I use and how I use them, maybe the intonation.

Okay, yes.

So there's a part content and part delivery.

The way people perceive us is based on three things.

How we look, how we sound and what we say.

That stern thing you're saying and Marco picked up on two things.

He goes, oh, it's what I'm saying.

Oh, maybe it's the way I'm saying it.

It's also the way sometimes we look when we're saying what we're saying.

And it's fascinating because in the world of communication,

how we look impacts how we sound and then how we sound impacts how people receive what we say.

It's all interconnected.

It's fascinating and when you're not careful and you have a certain face on, even though the content is well -meaning,

but because the facial expressions, we didn't put any attention to that, people then perceive it to be, oh, they're angry at me,

even when the words are kind.

So, you've got to understand, first of all, again, the three basics when people are perceiving you in a certain way.

When you perceive someone friendly, it's because of the way they look, it's because of the way they sound, and it's because of their word choice.

So, these are the three components.

So, what I would say just from hearing you speak there, give me a sense of, give me a stern version of you.

You're saying something where, again, this level of authority is needed.

Give us a version of that.

Vin, we've really got to have a conversation about your coffee cups,

the ones that are beautifully sitting on the table and that you don't put away.

Don't want to talk about the socks and the jocks and everything else, just the coffee cups.

I I really need you to address that situation.

It's actually very triggering for me because my wife told me off that just this weekend.

So thank you very much for that, Mark.

Now, what's interesting is the default facial expressions are eyebrows come down, no smile.

All of the notes in your voice are very low.

And that makes sense in that situation.

I now want you to speak with lots of melody in your voice and say the same thing to me.

Just be silly, big smile, lots of melody in your voice and say the exact same thing.

I'm not saying this is the effective way to do it.

I'm just saying this is the other side.

So give me the complete other side now where you are a clown

and you're being silly and you're talking about putting your cups away.

Give me that in three, two, go for it.

Ben, those coffee cups of yours, you know what?

They're hilarious.

They're half finished and seriously, if we left them any longer, they could probably ferment into something that we could sell.

Okay.

Good, good, good, good.

But you're not being silly enough.

You're not being silly enough.

So this already answers the question in my head, but you're not being silly enough.

So I'm just going to push a little more.

I want you to be a little more silly.

Just go, man, this is crazy.

I want you to go.

If you don't feel silly while you're doing this, Marco, you're doing it wrong.

All right.

Love it.

So try it again.

Good, good, good, good.

Try it again.

I'm going to give you again.

Super silly in three, two, and lots of melody.

Go for it.

Vin, what's going on?

What's with those coffee cups over there?

What are you doing?

Help me out.

God, Vin, those coffee cups.

They're amazing.

You've got an amazing collection there, really Vin.

But guys, just pick them up and caress them as you put them away and just, you know, be your friend.

They've been so close to you, Vin.

But just hop them away in that sink and everyone will be so happy, Vin.

Help me.

Can we give

Marco a big round of applause?

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

So this is an experiment we're playing with here, right?

We saw fully, you know, stern Marco and we also saw a really, really fun kind of almost silly Marco.

When I tried to push you towards the sillier version of you,

it was harder for you to go into that because you more defaulted down to the other version, the more stern version.

What that tells me, Marco, is that that's more, this more sterner version of communication, that's more your default.

So that's why we kind of did that demonstration to go, which way do you lean more towards?

What's easier for you to access?

Way easier for you to access this.

Had to push you to access this one.

But you were still able to access it.

100

Maybe in the way you're delivering things vocally and auditorily, it's coming across more stern.

101

It's looking more stern and it sounds more stern.

102

You'll pick up on the language you use that it may be a trifecta

103

It may be all three

104

By the way, if you want to learn the exact process I used to identify markers communication blind spots

105

so that you can apply it to yourself

106

and figure out what your blind spots are Make sure

107

you click the link in the description for my free three -part video series

108

When you watch through this training and apply the process to yourself, you'll gain clarity on the specific vocal,

109

visual and verbal behaviors that you need to work on in order to be a better communicator.

110

So click the link in the description.

111

Again, it's completely free and I promise it will change your view of your communication forever.

112

Let's keep on going with the video.

113

Let's continue.

114

Now what you can do is you can, because there are situations where you need to say the things you need to say.

115

You need to have authority.

116

You need, like again, you need a behavior to stop.

117

So then in those moments, the word choices can stay the same, but the delivery mechanism can lighten up.

118

It doesn't become the clown version of you.

119

It doesn't become the silly version of you, but you lighten up the sternness in your delivery.

120

And then all of a sudden, what that means is it changes it from just being, oh, that person's just being a hard ass, right?

121

They're just being a real hard ass with me right now.

122

But they'll now perceive it.

123

Content's still the same, but now they'll perceive it as, all right, I've got to get my act together.

124

And this person cares and they want to see me do better

125

and they're being that coach that I really need right now.

126

So there are ways to do it, right?

127

And I'll give you an example because let's just use the cup idea.

128

And if I gave that example, it would be something like, again, a really stern version is, I've told you three times,

129

you need to put these cups away.

130

It's ridiculous.

131

So again, that's me using really negative, strong words and the person's going to walk away and go, ah man, Vin's a monster.

132

But again, you can lighten that sternness by adding a little melody

133

and slightly changing some of the word choice and facial expressions.

134

So you're seeing it happen.

135

So all of a sudden now I can say, hey, listen, something that's going to make all of us feel better.

136

I do this from time to time as well.

137

We've got to always put the cups away because if we don't, you know what happens?

138

You'll get frustrated when there are no clean cups.

139

I'll get frustrated there are no clean cups.

140

Let's make sure we build some new habits.

141

I need a door too, right?

142

So then all of a sudden now there's a softer version of that.

143

But then there are some people again, who go too soft and then they never get the respect that they deserve where they go,

144

oh, do you mind just putting some of the cups away?

145

You know, like it just doesn't, It kind of makes it hard for the rest of the team when you're like, yeah, is that okay?

146

And then that version doesn't get respect.

147

And then they don't listen anyway.

148

So generally people don't listen to the extremities because again, there are times when you need to call it out, right?

149

There are times when you need to call it.

150

I get it.

151

This is why you need that emotional intelligence.

152

So if you're getting the feedback that that harder side is not working, it means you need to lighten it up.

153

It means you've got to have more melody in your voice.

154

That's the most pragmatic thing I can tell you, Marco, is more melody in your voice is naturally going to lighten the perception of that sternness.

155

And then definitely smile.

156

The smile and the raising of the, not having the eyebrows down, because I noticed that in you as well,

157

having the eyebrows up slightly higher and a slight smile.

158

Now you're reminding me with care.

159

You're not just angry at me.

160

Those are the key things.

161

So again, let's just try it.

162

What's an example of something you say often that you feel people take the wrong way?

163

I'm a real estate agent, So I'm talking to lots of people all the time.

164

Sometimes my off -sider will say, oh God, you know, that might have come across the wrong way.

165

But yeah, so it might be, you know, someone's just come into a house and they've walked out and my standard question is,

166

well, is this a home you feel you could live in?

167

Some people sort of muffle off and wander off and other people engage.

168

That's a common question, but yeah.

169

Is this home something you can see yourself living in?

170

That's a close -ended question.

171

So that's a question I either say yes or no to.

172

you want to ask an open -ended question first of all right

173

so you want to ask a question that they can't just say yes

174

or no to it's like when you go into a store and then people say can i help you

175

that's a close -ended question

176

and then the answer is oh no no just looking i mean how many of us say

177

that right in the chat if you say

178

that just type yes right

179

you get a sense of everyone says oh can i help you just have a look right

180

and an open -ended questions are what questions right questions where you go, what was your favorite part?

181

Was there a least favorite part?

182

Can you imagine yourself living here?

183

So all of a sudden, you're asking more open -ended questions that require them to talk more as opposed to just a yes or a no.

184

So you go, what was your favorite part of the property as you walked around?

185

I saw you spend a bit of time in the kitchen.

186

Was there something there that caught your interest?

187

And you're trying to get them to talk more.

188

So what I would suggest, Do you use ChatGPT, Marco?

189

Huge.

190

A lot.

191

Fantastic.

192

Not for advertising material.

193

I use it more when I write an email and I literally say, make this sound more friendly.

194

Okay, okay, okay.

195

Okay, because you have such great situational awareness.

196

The thing you would type in the ChatGPT is, what are some great open -ended questions to ask at an open home?

197

And what you do from that is once you get that list, now make it your own.

198

don't just pick the top three because

199

that may not be right for you read through 50 of them

200

and go which ones are good for me which ones do i like

201

and then now you can practice the delivery of it

202

right and and you really want lots of melody

203

and you really want lots of lots of lots of smiles

204

when you say it and you want to really practice this thing as well marco called legato

205

and legato is

206

when you link all of your words together more whereas right now what's creating a bit of

207

that sternness in your voice is an element of staccato and I'll explain so everyone's on the same page.

208

I explain this often so it's okay.

209

Staccato is when I speak like this.

210

It's when the words I have, they sound separate.

211

All of a sudden, even if I want to sound friendly, when I speak like this, I seem a little bit more stern.

212

Notice that?

213

Legato is when you link all of the words together.

214

So legato is, hey, notice you were hanging around the kitchen there.

215

Was there something there that interested you in the design or was there something that you didn't like?

216

right so all of a sudden when you link all of the words together it's

217

so much easier to connect with that person

218

because it's easier to listen to gotcha stern in staccato is designed

219

that way because when someone is being stern with you it's it's a difficult situation

220

so it should feel like a little bit confronting whereas legato is designed as a beautiful friendly melody

221

so again let's go let's go with a more open -ended question and you'll be able to create your own list later

222

Marco but again an open -ended question is again what was your favorite part of the house?

223

Was there something that you liked?

224

Was there something that you didn't like?

225

I want you to link all of your words together while you do that

226

in a second and lots of melody and a big smile.

227

So give that a go and you almost have to feel silly

228

when you're doing it because when you're practicing new behaviors if it doesn't feel uncomfortable

229

Marco it means you're doing nothing different.

230

It means you're doing everything exactly the same.

231

Nothing's changing about you.

232

So again I want you to feel silly, embrace that silliness, lots of melody, open -ended question, plus big smile on your face.

233

Okay.

234

Let's give it a crack, mate.

235

All right, here we go.

236

So I'm going to count you down.

237

I'm about to walk out.

238

Remember open -ended?

239

What was your favorite thing?

240

Was it the kitchen?

241

Okay.

242

Three, two, one.

243

Go for it.

244

Hey, Vin.

245

Saw that you wandered through and spent a lot of time in the kitchen.

246

What was that part of your favorite?

247

What was the favorite part of your house?

248

Okay, good, good, good, good.

249

Much better.

250

But I want more linking of the words.

251

I want them all to be connected together the legato, right?

252

And play with melody even more.

253

Just a little bit more, a little bit more.

254

Okay, in three, two, go for it.

255

Hey, Vin, saw that you wandered through the whole house.

256

You spent a bit of time in the kitchen.

257

That looked awesome.

258

What was the favorite part?

259

What was the one thing that you enjoyed the most?

260

Okay, perfect.

261

All right, good.

262

See, I can see you uncomfortable there.

263

That discomfort will still be there until you iron out all the kinks.

264

When you first try things like this, it always feels a little bit forced.

265

And that's what happens.

266

It's like when you first play the saxophone, you sound terrible.

267

Nobody sounds good.

268

So understand, Marco, there's many things you can work on there.

269

Open -ended questions, which is the content.

270

Second thing is legato, linking all the words together.

271

And I'll definitely play with a lot more melody.

272

I wouldn't be afraid of that.

273

Again, I'll give you one last example from me so you can see it with clarity.

274

It's that if someone comes to me at the open house and I say something like this,

275

hi, can you see yourself living in a property like this?

276

Can you imagine yourself living in a property like this versus

277

if they come up big smile on your face hey can

278

you imagine yourself living in a property like this one day two completely different feelings right

279

but then again when you change it up now

280

and you even change the content

281

and you say hey i know you're about to just leave saw

282

you spending a lot of time in the kitchen with your husband was there something

283

that caught your eye was there something that or was there something that caught your eye in a bad way.

284

Talk to me.

285

Completely different vibe.

286

All of a sudden now, it's not a simple yes or no, then they walk past you.

287

It was like, yeah, actually, there was a couple of things that we really liked in the kitchen.

288

Oh, what was it?

289

Talk, tell me more.

290

And then they start talking and then they start talking.

Download App

Everything you need to speak fluently

AI PronunciationScore every sentence

IPA PracticeMaster every sound

VocabularyBuild your word bank

Vocab GameLearn while playing

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Same Channel

FOR YOU

Recommend Video

192 sentences

How To Articulate Your Thoughts More Clearly Than 99% of People

Business EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults

20 sentences

How good leaders communicate

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

164 sentences

why you hate your recorded voice (and how to fix it)

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

78 sentences

how to command attention when speaking

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

141 sentences

Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication | 5 Tips

Business EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults

24 sentences

Hard conversations are NOT about you...

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

256 sentences

Body Language: How to tell if someone is bored or interested!

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

856 sentences

The Art of Charm Podcast 716 - 8 Tips for Compelling Conversation

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

284 sentences

2689 - Don’t Want to Sound Harsh? Soften the Blow with These Phrases

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

74 sentences

Motivational English Speaking Practice and Learn British Accent #podcast

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “How to Sound Friendly Without Losing Authority”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: marco, stern, word, melody, silly. This video has 290 sentences and 3048 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:36. The speaker talks fast, about 224 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
stern noun	/stɝn/	The rear part (after end) of a ship or other vessel.
silly adjective	/ˈsɪl.i/	Laughable or amusing through foolishness or a foolish appearance.
melody noun	/ˈmɛl.ə.di/	A sequence of notes that makes up a musical phrase.
perceive verb	/pɚˈsiv/	To become aware of, through the physical senses, to see; to understand.
sudden adjective	/ˈsʌd.ən/	Occurring quickly with little or no warning or expectation; instantly.
default noun	/dɪˈfɔlt/	The condition of failing to meet an obligation.
facial adjective	/ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/	Of or affecting the face.
wander verb	/ˈwɑndɚ/	To move without purpose or specified destination; often in search of livelihood.
whereas	/(h)wɛɹˈæz/	In contrast; whilst on the contrary; although.
connect verb	/kəˈnɛkt/	To join (to another object): to attach, or to be intended to attach or capable of attaching, to another object.
habit noun	/ˈhæb.ɪt/	An action performed on a regular basis.
uncomfortable adjective	/ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/	Not comfortable; causing discomfort.
clown noun	/ˈklaʊ̯n/	A slapstick performance artist often associated with a circus and usually characterized by bright, oversized clothing, a red nose, face paint, and a brightly…
clarity noun	/ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/	The state or measure of being clear, either in appearance, thought or style; lucidity.
naturally adverb	/ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/	In a natural manner.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
come across verb	To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition.
pick up on verb	To notice, observe, learn, or understand, especially something otherwise overlooked.
walk out verb	To stage a walkout or strike.
come down verb	To descend, fall down, collapse.
come up verb	To emerge or become known, especially unexpectedly.
figure out verb	To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
hang around verb	To stay, linger, or loiter.
put away verb	To put (something) in its usual storage place; to place out of the way, clean up.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

Ben, those coffee cups of yours, you know what?
What's easier for you to access?
Can you imagine yourself living here?
Was there something there that caught your interest?
Was there something that you didn't like?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	is based · is needed · is designed
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've helped · They've been · I've told

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 87 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, demonstration /dɛmənˈstɹeɪʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, intonation /ɪntəˈneɪʃən/
Long words — get the stress right: uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, experiment /ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/, hilarious /hɪˈlɛə.ɹi.əs/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like stern, silly, melody.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: How to Sound Friendly Without Losing Authority - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Download App

How to join group conversations

When do you stop understanding? 🙊

Top 5 Communication Skills Lessons

5 vocal exercises for a more powerful voice 😎

How to Speak with MORE Clarity!

The 2 biggest benefits of PAUSING when you speak

The Guide To Talk To Anyone (Regardless of Their Seniority)

How to improve your articulation FAST

5 simple habits to be a better communicator

Look confident + sound confident = Feel confident

Doing This (Almost) GUARANTEES You Get Hired In A Job Interview!

Never answer questions quickly. Pause first.

How to Enter Conversations (Even If You Have Nothing To Say!)

How to Have Difficult Conversations (Even If It's Confronting)

7 POWERFUL Storytelling Secrets to Level Up Your Communication Skills

You must PAUSE when you speak!

TOP 3 Tips To Improve Your Communication Skills!

STOP Saying Umm & Ahh

Why You're So Good At Being Shy...

You won't believe the difference hand gestures make... 🤯

How To Articulate Your Thoughts More Clearly Than 99% of People

How good leaders communicate

why you hate your recorded voice (and how to fix it)

how to command attention when speaking

Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication | 5 Tips

Hard conversations are NOT about you...

Body Language: How to tell if someone is bored or interested!

The Art of Charm Podcast 716 - 8 Tips for Compelling Conversation

2689 - Don’t Want to Sound Harsh? Soften the Blow with These Phrases

Motivational English Speaking Practice and Learn British Accent #podcast

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?