Shadowing Practice: Hard conversations are NOT about you... - Learn English Speaking with Video
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24 sentences
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1
There is somebody who needs to have a very difficult conversation that they've been avoiding tomorrow.
2
How do they work up the courage to say the thing that needs to be said?
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The first thing is, is I wouldn't have the conversation if you're doing it so you feel better, because you're going to be disappointed.
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If you can enter the conversation on how I can serve that person on the other side, how can I serve them?
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How can I leave the conversation and them have been helped?
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I like that a lot.
7
Then your job is to build a persuasive case.
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Your job is to form your words in such a way that they're helpful, not just you feel better
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because you puked on them people ruminate about these conversations in their head over
10
and over and over and over on the walking trail.
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I've done it.
12
Yeah.
13
And I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this, and then I go, why am I, what's the purpose of this conversation?
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Is it for me? Is it for them?
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Yeah.
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And if I get my purpose right, then you know what I end up doing?
17
I end up not having some of the conversations.
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Right.
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Because it's for me, and it's not going to end up, the actual practical outcome is not going to be valuable.
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Right.
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And so I find
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that was sometimes people go I just have to look I just have to say my first thought is no you don't
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You don't have to say anything exactly this is for you.
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It's not it's not for the other person
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Hard conversations are NOT about you..”. This video has 24 sentences and 275 words to shadow. The speech runs for 1:33. The speaker talks at a natural 177 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow. 7 of its 24 sentences are questions, so it is good practice for question intonation and short answers.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| practical adjective | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | Relating to, or based on, practice or action rather than theory or hypothesis. |
| trail noun | /tɹeɪl/ | The track or indication marking the route followed by something that has passed, such as the footprints of animal on land or the contrail of an airplane in the… |
| helpful adjective | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | Furnishing help; giving aid; useful. |
| disappointed adjective | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/ | Defeated of expectations or hope; experiencing disappointment; let down. |
| outcome noun | /ˈaʊtkʌm/ | That which is produced or occurs as a result of an event or process. |
| courage noun | /ˈkʌ.ɹɪd͡ʒ/ | The quality of being confident, not afraid or easily intimidated, but without being incautious or inconsiderate. |
| persuasive adjective | /pə(ɹ)ˈsweɪsɪv/ | Able to persuade; convincing. |
| puke verb | /pjuːk/ | To vomit; to throw up; to eject from the stomach. |
| ruminate verb | /ˈɹumənət/ | To chew cud. (Said of ruminants.) Involves regurgitating partially digested food from the rumen. |
| valuable adjective | /ˈvælju(ə)bl̩/ | Having a great value. |
| conversation noun | /ˌkɑn.vəɹˈseɪ.ʃən/ | Expression and exchange of individual ideas through talking with other people; also, a set instance or occasion of such talking. |
| purpose noun | /ˈpɜːpəs/ | The end for which something is done, is made or exists. |
| serve verb | /sɝv/ | To be a formal servant for (a god or deity); to worship in an official capacity. |
| avoid verb | /əˈvɔɪd/ | To try not to meet or communicate with (a person); to shun. |
| actual adjective | /ˈækʃuəl/ | relating to a person's acts or deeds; active, practical |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. |
| work up verb | To raise; to excite; to stir up. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have been helped · I've done |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be said · have been helped |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 10 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: conversation /ˌkɑn.vəɹˈseɪ.ʃən/, actual /ˈækʃuəl/
- Long words — get the stress right: disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/, conversation /ˌkɑn.vəɹˈseɪ.ʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like practical, trail, helpful.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.