Shadowing Practice: You’re Losing Respect Every Time You Say This - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
1
Before we get into it, quick note, I just launched a premium version of the podcast on Supercast.
2
If you want ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs where I answer your questions directly, it's all there.
3
If you'd like to support the show and get access to all of that, I want you to go to jefferson.supercast.com or you can check the link in the description below to join.
4
All right, let's get into it.
5
The top three mistakes that I see communicators make One, they use absolutes, the always and the nevers.
6
Two, they over-explain their words.
7
And three, they find a way to not take control of the first seven seconds of the conversation.
8
Without those seven seconds, everything else does not fall into place.
9
This is the Jefferson Fisher Podcast.
10
You know what it is if you're listening.
11
And this is good content for you.
12
If you would, just please press the subscribe button.
13
It means a lot to me, my family, and tells wherever you're listening that this is good content.
14
I want to get right into it.
15
So number one, if you don't want to make this mistake, it's very simple, but it's also very hard.
16
Absolutes.
17
You know what it's like when you're in conversation with people or let's better yet in an argument with somebody, probably somebody you're very close with.
18
I might be married to, might be in a relationship with, and they use this word right here.
19
Always.
20
Usually there's something that comes right before it, and it's the word you.
21
You say you always.
22
You never.
23
They're generally not positive statements.
24
If I had to guess, the only time you hear those is in some kind of negative conversation, meaning the other person's using these words with a downward,
25
mad, angry, frustrated, disappointed expression on their face.
26
You never listen to me.
27
You always say this.
28
You never care.
29
And it should just send sirens off in your brain.
30
That is one of the number one mistakes that I see communicators make if they're trying to actually have productive, efficient, successful communication.
31
Is a use the absolutes, the extremes.
32
When in reality, we both know that's not true.
33
And really, the other person knows it's not true.
34
They know it too.
35
It just feels better to say it.
36
It feels better to use the absolutes.
37
Let's play it out for a second.
38
Let's say you and I are in a conversation and I'm in an argument with you and I say, it is just like you always say this.
39
Every time you come in, you always say, you never do anything that I ask.
40
You never pick up around here.
41
You never do this.
42
You never, you always want to be the first to do.
43
Those words, those absolutes, they create a lot of friction in the conversation because the conversation is no longer about the issue.
44
It is now about the accuracy.
45
It's no longer about the thing you were first originally talking about, what's beneath it all.
46
Instead, it's now about the accuracy of somebody's statement.
47
That's what happens to your brain when the other person's side.
48
When you use the absolutes, what happens to the other person is they start to go, that's not accurate.
49
That's not accurate.
50
I don't always do that.
51
I don't never do this.
52
And they start to try and pick and poke and look at the accuracy.
53
Okay, well, let's look at the timeline.
54
When's the last time that I said that?
55
Or when's the last time I did that?
56
And it becomes a timeline game.
57
It becomes who's more accurate,
58
whose memory is better, who is the kind of the referee of the argument.
59
And accuracy calls when somebody blows the whistle on accuracy and say, that's not accurate.
60
I don't always do that.
61
I don't never do that.
62
It's now a second argument.
63
So if you have straight line of A to B
64
and you and I are talking and I just used the word never, you never, you know, what happens?
65
We split, right?
66
It's the multiverse.
67
We have two different timelines happening because now that second one only cares about accuracy,
68
meaning you're having an argument about whether you always or never did the thing.
69
And so when I say accuracy, it's about, are they saying something that is correct?
70
And as soon as the other person goes, no, actually, I don't always do that.
71
It stinks because you're like, I don't want to talk about this.
72
I want to talk about the issue itself.
73
And that's where you get caught up.
74
So what's, Jefferson, what's the point here?
75
The point here is that you don't use them.
76
And I know that sounds easier said than done, but it happens all the time.
77
It happens in my relationships.
78
It happens in my family's relationships and my friend's relationships.
79
It happens among all of us.
80
What I'm saying is, it will happen.
81
The key here is quick to fix it.
82
So what are some ways we can do that instead? that way, if you catch yourself using that.
83
One is if you catch yourself saying always and never, be the bigger person and grab it back.
84
If you say always, catch it and go, actually, not always, a lot of the time, some of the time, most of the time, right?
85
Catch it.
86
So, I mean, if you say it out loud of, listen, you never stop yourself and you hear it and go, actually, it's not never.
87
it's a lot.
88
It feels like a lot to me.
89
If you can catch it and grab it, that's an easy win.
90
You now don't have to have that second multiverse argument about accuracy.
91
Number two, a quick way is to say, when you, I feel.
92
It's a framework that works in a lot of different circumstances.
93
You've heard me on this podcast talk about it.
94
It's a framework that works a lot of the time.
95
It's when you, I feel saying, when you do this, I feel that.
96
When you X, I feel Y.
97
When you speak to me in that tone, I feel like you're disappointed in me and I'm doing something wrong.
98
When you leave the food on the counter, I feel like you're asking me to
99
take care of it and you're being passive aggressive
100
or whatever it is when you i feel it's a very easy way of putting
101
that in there because at the end of the day these always
102
and never statements they're really just a self-expression of what's going on inside you right of what's happening inside
103
because in your body it feels like it's always
104
or it's never in these absolutes
105
and it's way clear for your body to go i feel it right now
106
so this is what it must be all of the time And so when my body says never, it feels like never.
107
So what's another way?
108
A third way we can take care of this is think of it as a headline.
109
Think of it as a headline, meaning I'm going to say up front, I'm going to say up front, I'm going to tell you something.
110
It's not always.
111
I feel like it's a lot of the time.
112
And then give the statement.
113
You see, I kind of use the headline to give you a preview of what I'm about to say.
114
And let me try it again.
115
We could do a different way.
116
I want to tell you something that's important to me.
117
And I'm not saying that it's never, but I am saying that I feel like sometimes it's hardly at all.
118
Then give what you need to say.
119
So it's like combining the when you, I feel, with a catchback is saying, I'm going to go ahead and tell you right now,
120
I'm going to use the word never, but I know it's not.
121
I know it's not never.
122
I'm just telling you it feels like it is.
123
Right.
124
Can can you relate to me on that aspect of that?
125
Can am I are you safe enough for me to say it feels like it's never even though I know
126
that it's not?
127
My brain tells me.
128
My body tells me my emotions tell me that this is always happening.
129
But my brain knows objectively it's not always happening.
130
Before we keep going, this episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth and also in many ways my mom.
131
My mom, I gave her some cozy earth pajamas.
132
They are very soft.
133
They're made of bamboo and very, very light.
134
And my mom's never been like a big PJ person.
135
I think she's just been a muumuu person.
136
You know what I mean?
137
Like it's just a big, huge t-shirt for most of my life until she found these cozy earth pajamas.
138
and every time she sees me, she somehow mentions the Cozy Earth PJs.
139
Jefferson, you got any more of those Cozy Earth PJs?
140
And I have to tell you, if you have a mother in your life, because I know Mother's Day is coming up and you need some time to make sure that it gets there,
141
you can't ask for any better.
142
Let me tell you, from one son to another daughter or son out there, Cozy Earth PJs,
143
that's this is your answer if you've been looking for it you can go to cozy earth.com
144
slash jefferson use the code jefferson
145
and get up to 20 off it's light they they she
146
loves them they're full bodied where it's like they come to her you know to her wrist
147
and the whole pants and i i just i i get
148
so tickled over the fact that i've never bought her pajamas before
149
but i don't know if i'll ever buy her anything else ever again i think she just wants a whole supply
150
just a whole wardrobe of Cozy Earth PJs.
151
So from me to you, you're not going to regret it.
152
CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson.
153
Use the code Jefferson and get up to 20% off.
154
And now let's get back to the episode.
155
All right.
156
I think we've covered all the absolutes.
157
There's a range, right?
158
From always to most of the time to some of the time to often to never.
159
it is something that easily slips up a communicator because, right, they no longer hear about the issue
160
and now it becomes about accuracy and a recollection of events and people have to get out their logbook and go, remember, I did this this time and it does not serve you.
161
All right, so don't be doing the absolutes.
162
Number two, over explaining.
163
You and I have talked about this many times.
164
And I will say it again.
165
I like to use the three sentence rule, meaning if I can't say it in three sentences, I'm going to try to find a different way to work that.
166
Now you might go Jefferson, this whole episode's longer than the three sentences.
167
What are you doing?
168
Yeah, I know.
169
There's some context that happens in this.
170
If I need to write an email or a text, or I'm trying to say something assertively, I'm going to try to apply that framework.
171
It does not apply to casual conversations with friends
172
or to a podcast or to certain things that aren't going to require that level of professionalism or,
173
you know, a little different threshold of a conversation that you need to have.
174
And again, it's just a guide that's going to keep you from over explaining because what happens?
175
The more words you use, the less people are going to likely do what you want them to do.
176
the more words you have to use to say no, the more it kind of sounds like you're wanting them to push you to a yes, especially with boundaries.
177
The more you try to explain your boundary, the other person starts to hear it not as a no, but as a negotiation for them to go,
178
oh, well, if I took this off your plate and took this off your plate, would you be willing to do it then?
179
And see, it feels weird because now they've kind of changed the paradigm
180
and now you feel like you got caught in some way.
181
You kind of have to acquiesce, right?
182
Because you took too long, used too many sentences, gave too much context to explain what you need to say.
183
What I tell every one of my clients when I prepare them for deposition is that answer the question only.
184
And if they have more questions, it is on them to ask.
185
it's a muscle, all right?
186
It's a learned skill.
187
So don't think that all of a sudden you have to be in deposition, cross-examination mode anytime anybody talks to you.
188
That's not my point.
189
What I'm saying is when it comes to communicating boundaries in particular, or really anything, the more words that you use,
190
usually the weaker the point becomes because it's confusing.
191
People get lost.
192
People grab onto one sentence and start to use their message.
193
Let's say use an absolute for goodness sake.
194
I mean, that would be terrible.
195
They all of a sudden in the middle of your monologue, somebody grabs onto an always, and that's all they think about.
196
That's all they hear about.
197
Or I mean, how many times have you been in a conversation with somebody and all of a sudden you're thinking, man, I wonder what, like what's for lunch today.
198
And you just have thoughts, distracted thoughts that are normal and are going to happen.
199
And it's, there's a natural part of this.
200
So how do you eliminate that as a communicator?
201
Cut down on the excessive words, the excessive words.
202
I know people that they're just looking for a captive audience, really.
203
And sometimes I give them one because I might be the only person they've seen and
204
I got to talk to in a few days.
205
And so they just need to kind of get it all out.
206
And that's okay too.
207
But for the most part, when it comes to effectively communicating, the more words you use,
208
the harder it is to communicate a clear and certainly a consistent message.
209
Number three, this is the one I want to give you the most on.
210
It's about controlling the first seven seconds.
211
And this is not some scientific study.
212
So I don't think I have some lab where we've ran all these tests.
213
It's not.
214
It's just the school of Jefferson, just of my experience saying, hey, in about seven seconds,
215
I can tell, you can tell where the conversation is going long before it gets there.
216
In the first seven seconds, nobody's really listening to your words.
217
They're listening for what you do, meaning your signals.
218
Are you somebody who sounds upset?
219
I'm not listening to your words.
220
I'm listening to the tone of it.
221
I'm listening to the music of it.
222
it happens a lot related to music and music.
223
We do the same thing.
224
It is usually the first three seconds of just the music
225
or five seconds or seven seconds of the music that grabs our attention that goes, okay, I want to listen to this.
226
This is something that resonates with me long before the lyrics show up.
227
It's kind of the same way, right?
228
If I'm approaching you as somebody who's very kind of, I'm looking like I'm negative.
229
I'm looking like I'm intense.
230
I'm looking like maybe I'm really passive or maybe I'm really shy.
231
You're reading all of that in seconds, right?
232
If you can hear the tone of my voice, do I sound serious or not?
233
Do I sound playful or not?
234
Do I sound happy or not?
235
I'm listening for all the signals long before the words ever come out.
236
I know when Sierra walks into a room, if she's in a good mood or not.
237
Right.
238
And she knows the same for me.
239
I know with my kids, they walk in, I can know immediately if something is wrong.
240
You might know that.
241
I know that with my siblings, right?
242
I know that with my parents, people that are closest with me, I can tell when something is off and they don't have to say anything.
243
Before we keep going, I want to tell you about ButcherBox.
244
ButcherBox delivers over 100 premium protein options straight to your door, including 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, crate-free pork, and wild-caught seafood.
245
For over a decade, ButcherBox has led the industry with meat and seafood that's antibiotic-free, hormone-free, and independently verified.
246
It's the clean, trustworthy protein you want to be eating, especially at the start of a new year.
247
Every product meets the same rigorous standards, whether you're cooking a filet mignon or popping chicken nuggets into the air fryer.
248
Shout out to all the parents out there is all quality across the board.
249
What I like most is knowing that I've got great options ready to go.
250
We use the graphed beef and chicken all the time.
251
I think I made some homemade hamburger helper.
252
I use ButcherBox.
253
It was great.
254
And it takes all the guesswork out of the busy weeknights.
255
As a certified B Corp, ButcherBox is committed to doing the right thing, from how the animals are raised to how their team supports workers and reduce environmental impact.
256
Plus, every box ships free always, and members get access to recipe inspo tips and exclusive deals that make every meal easier, healthier, and more enjoyable.
257
As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between organic ground beef, chicken breast, or ground turkey in every box for a whole year,
258
plus $20 off when you go to butcherbox.com slash Jefferson.
259
That's right, your choice of organic ground beef, chicken breast, or ground turkey in every box for an entire year, plus $20 off.
260
Can't beat that.
261
and free shipping always.
262
That's butcherbox.com slash Jefferson.
263
Don't forget to use our link so they know we sent you.
264
That'd be pretty cool.
265
Before we get going, I want to take a moment to tell you about Mill.
266
Now, listen, this product has changed the game in our kitchen.
267
And I mean that wholeheartedly.
268
I didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal.
269
Holy smokes, was I wrong?
270
I don't think there is hardly a dinner that my son or daughter do not mention the Mill.
271
What is the milk, it is the odorless, effortless, and fully automated food recycler that handles the cleanup after dinner is over.
272
What does that mean?
273
So like when you have your plate after stuff that you didn't want to finish eating, you have these little bits and scraps, you just take it and scrape it right into the mill.
274
Potato peels, avocado pits, chicken bones, even dairy.
275
You can just put it all in there.
276
So think of it, if you would throw it outside or put it down a disposal, it can go right into your mill.
277
And I thought at first I was like, I don't know, this, it can be messy and stinky.
278
I haven't smelled a thing.
279
All right.
280
Our kitchen just feels cleaner.
281
There's no leaky trash bags.
282
There's no fruit flies.
283
It doesn't smell whatsoever.
284
So the mill app is what shows you how much food you're keeping up.
285
The app's really nice.
286
The packaging is great.
287
Hands down product.
288
And it's just easy to stick with.
289
And it looks great in our kitchen.
290
Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at mill.com slash Jefferson.
291
Use code Jefferson at checkout.
292
That's $75 off at mill.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson.
293
And now let's keep going.
294
One of the biggest mistakes that I see
295
that communicators make is not taking the first seven seconds of a conversation seriously because in those first seven seconds, usually less.
296
That could be two seconds.
297
Nobody's listening to the words.
298
They're listening to you.
299
They're listening to your mood.
300
They're listening to your tone.
301
They're listening to your facial expressions.
302
They're listening to how your posture is when you walk into the door.
303
They're listening to all those things long before the words ever come out of your mouth.
304
So if you want to be an excellent communicator, it is making sure that you treat those first seven seconds
305
like they are liquid gold because if something falls apart and it's oftentimes that it does, you get the chance to say, I need to say that differently.
306
I want to redo.
307
I need to reset this conversation.
308
If you feel that it starts to go off the rail immediately, I need to say that differently and restart those seven seconds.
309
All right.
310
Because if you're not in the right mindset, if you're not in the right, yeah, I don't think another word for it.
311
If you're not in the right mindset, neither will they, because conversations generally don't go south in the middle.
312
So if we have a beginning and an end, conversations typically don't start to lose control in the middle.
313
It's at the very beginning, meaning at the very beginning, it's set it up to have a hard conversation.
314
If I'm in an argument, let's say, and let's say it's me who gets frustrated.
315
I'm going to get frustrated really quickly, right out of the gate.
316
And you know what?
317
That's going to color the whole rest of the conversation for me.
318
And I'm going to have to be doing the mental work to try and dig myself out of that, you know, that mindset.
319
Same for somebody else.
320
If they're trying to deliver something to you and you're not being receptive of it, the good communicators say, I can tell that this is not going where we need it to go.
321
I'm going to restart it.
322
Or let's push it for another time.
323
So to me, the first seven seconds of the conversation is sort of like the tail wagging the dog.
324
I know if those first seven seconds aren't going well,
325
it is rare that the rest of the conversation will somehow turn by itself naturally and improve.
326
What I typically like to do, and what I'm going to encourage you to do, is reset it.
327
So how do you do that?
328
If you find that the first seven seconds are not going well, the good communicators will reset it.
329
They'll say phrases like, I need to redo.
330
I need to restart this.
331
It's not asking.
332
You could ask if you wanted.
333
Hey, can I have a, can I try that again?
334
Somebody's going to say, yeah, of course.
335
They don't ever say no. But yeah, of course.
336
Or what I like to do is say, can I say that differently?
337
I need to say that.
338
I need to say this differently.
339
And I restart it because most likely if I'm asking that, the other person's lost.
340
They're like, yeah, please restart it differently.
341
Cause I didn't, I didn't prepare.
342
I didn't do the mental gymnastics of making sure that I'm in the right mindset before we go into this conversation, because that's, that's normal.
343
And what happens three quick, easy tools to improve your communication.
344
Number one, we talked about absolutes, the always and the nevers
345
and how those quickly tank the conversation to start talking about accuracy rather than the true heart of the issue.
346
Two, we talked about the excessive words, how whether you like it or not, the more words you start to use, the weaker your message becomes.
347
And the more the other person hears, it's an invitation for them to try and problem solve what you said
348
and fix it rather than actually stick to your boundary.
349
And number three, we talked about the value of the first seven seconds of a conversation because nobody's listening to the words, not near as much as how they're listening to you.
350
and if you're actually ready for it.
351
So how you show up in conversation, how you show that you're controlled, how you slow down your words, how you make sure you have the right tone,
352
how you make sure you're approaching the conversation is something that you can actually lean into
353
rather than pushing them and making sure that you're in some kind of defensive posture.
354
That's not going to be anywhere that's going to want to get you to where you're wanting to go in the conversation.
355
So how can you make sure that you preserve,
356
treasure value prioritize the first seven seconds that's going to make sure
357
that you become a better communicator so let's avoid those three mistakes
358
and i think my voice is actually starting to go out
359
so this is perfect timing as always you can try that and follow me
📺 Same Channel
B11
Use This Phrase on The Silent Treatment
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
Never Struggle with Small Talk Again | Easy Tips for Better Conversations
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
THIS is How To Be Direct Without Hurting People | Jefferson Fisher
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B21
Erin McGoff: How to be Instantly More Confident at Work
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishUniversity Students
B23
You’re Not Responsible for Their Emotions
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
Finance Expert: How You Talk About Money Matters Ft. Vivian Tu
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2How to Be Direct Without Sounding Rude
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B2How Strong Communicators Handle Difficult Talks
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B23 Communication Truths That Will Change Every Conversation
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B1what to say instead of staying silent
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B1Be more direct.
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationWorking Adults
✨ Recommend Video
B26
113 sentences
American English Intonation | Reduce Interruptions & Send Clear Messages
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
427 sentences
7 Ways You're Overcomplicating English Learning
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B29
11 sentences
THE POWER IN SAYING LESS
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
367 sentences
How To Make Anyone Respect You Instantly
American AccentBusiness EnglishWorking Adults
B12
87 sentences
How To Upgrade Your Professional Work Emails
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B24
73 sentences
Sound More Professional in English | 5 Phrases for Difficult Conversations
American AccentBusiness EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B21
355 sentences
English Conversation Practice | 12 English Verb Mistakes You Should Stop Making Now
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B21
230 sentences
Self-Sabotage, Self-Forgiveness & Why the Way You Talk to Yourself Is Everything
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
73 sentences
Listen & Shadow: Listening to English and SHADOWING
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B2499 sentences
Just Stop Trying to Speak English Perfectly
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “You’re Losing Respect Every Time You Say This”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: conversation, word, listening. This video has 359 sentences and 4193 words to shadow. The speech runs for 23:01. The speaker talks fast, about 182 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| communicator noun | /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/ | Someone who, or something that communicates. |
| cosy adjective | /ˈkoʊzi/ | Affording comfort and warmth; snug; social and comfortable. |
| restart verb | /ˈɹiːˌstɑɹt/ | To start again. |
| mindset noun | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | A way of thinking; an attitude or opinion, especially a habitual one. |
| boundary noun | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | The dividing line or location between two areas. |
| podcast noun | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on… |
| frustrate verb | /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/ | To disappoint or defeat; to vex by depriving of something expected or desired. |
| pajamas noun | /pəˈd͡ʒɑ.məz/ | Clothes for wearing to bed and sleeping in, usually consisting of a loose-fitting shirt and pants/trousers. |
| reset verb | /ɹiːˈsɛt/ | To set back to the initial state. |
| headline noun | /ˈhɛd.laɪn/ | The heading or title of a magazine or newspaper article. |
| excessive adjective | /ɪkˈsɛsɪv/ | Exceeding the usual bounds of something; too much (of amount); extravagant; immoderate. |
| timeline noun | /ˈtaɪmˌlaɪn/ | A graphical representation of a chronological sequence of events (past or future). |
| multiverse noun | /ˈmʌltəˌvɝs/ | The world, considered as lacking in purpose, design, or predictability. |
| redo verb | /ɹiˈduː/ | To do again. |
| deposition noun | /ˌdɛp.əˈzɪʃ.ən/ | The removal of someone from office. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| get up to verb | To do something, especially something that is forbidden or improper. | |
| caught up verb | Involuntarily involved in a situation. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| come up verb | To emerge or become known, especially unexpectedly. | |
| fall apart verb | To disintegrate, to break into pieces. | |
| get back to verb | Return to (an activity) | |
| get out verb | To leave or escape. | |
| go ahead verb | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | To proceed with; to begin. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- When's the last time that I said that?
- You know what I mean?
- Are you somebody who sounds upset?
- Do I sound playful or not?
- Do I sound happy or not?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | You've heard · i've never bought · we've covered |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | is sponsored · is committed |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 119 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/, threshold /ˈθɹɛʃ(h)oʊld/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: deposition /ˌdɛp.əˈzɪʃ.ən/, professionalism /pɹəˈfɛʃənəˌlɪzəm/, recollection /ɹɛkəˈlɛkʃən/, friction /ˈfɹɪkʃən/, negotiation /nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, deposition /ˌdɛp.əˈzɪʃ.ən/, avocado /ˌɑvəˈkɑdoʊ/, objectively /əbˈd͡ʒɛktɪvli/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like communicator, cosy, restart.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.