Pratica di Shadowing: How to Sound Friendly Without Losing Authority - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
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I'm a real estate agent, so I'm talking to lots of people all the time.
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I would say something quite normal that I think is quite friendly.
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And quite often people walk out of a meeting and go, it was a terrifying experience.
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It sort of leaves me with that sort of thought about, oh gosh, do I say something or don't I?
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That's Marco.
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And if you're like him and you have a client -facing job,
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you might be doing four small things when you're talking to others that's causing you to appear cold,
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unapproachable, and maybe even a little intimidating without you even realizing.
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My name's Vin, I'm a communication skills coach
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and I've helped millions of people improve their public speaking over the last 15 years.
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In this exclusive coaching session, you're going to learn through Marco what those four habits are
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and how to fix them immediately so you can come across the way you intend to.
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Let's dive into it.
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Why do you think people currently perceive you as being stern?
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If you had to take a guess, Why do you think they perceive you as being stern?
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Probably the words I use and how I use them, maybe the intonation.
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Okay, yes.
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So there's a part content and part delivery.
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The way people perceive us is based on three things.
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How we look, how we sound and what we say.
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That stern thing you're saying and Marco picked up on two things.
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He goes, oh, it's what I'm saying.
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Oh, maybe it's the way I'm saying it.
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It's also the way sometimes we look when we're saying what we're saying.
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And it's fascinating because in the world of communication,
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how we look impacts how we sound and then how we sound impacts how people receive what we say.
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It's all interconnected.
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It's fascinating and when you're not careful and you have a certain face on, even though the content is well -meaning,
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but because the facial expressions, we didn't put any attention to that, people then perceive it to be, oh, they're angry at me,
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even when the words are kind.
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So, you've got to understand, first of all, again, the three basics when people are perceiving you in a certain way.
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When you perceive someone friendly, it's because of the way they look, it's because of the way they sound, and it's because of their word choice.
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So, these are the three components.
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So, what I would say just from hearing you speak there, give me a sense of, give me a stern version of you.
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You're saying something where, again, this level of authority is needed.
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Give us a version of that.
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Vin, we've really got to have a conversation about your coffee cups,
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the ones that are beautifully sitting on the table and that you don't put away.
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Don't want to talk about the socks and the jocks and everything else, just the coffee cups.
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I I really need you to address that situation.
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It's actually very triggering for me because my wife told me off that just this weekend.
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So thank you very much for that, Mark.
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Now, what's interesting is the default facial expressions are eyebrows come down, no smile.
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All of the notes in your voice are very low.
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And that makes sense in that situation.
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I now want you to speak with lots of melody in your voice and say the same thing to me.
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Just be silly, big smile, lots of melody in your voice and say the exact same thing.
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I'm not saying this is the effective way to do it.
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I'm just saying this is the other side.
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So give me the complete other side now where you are a clown
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and you're being silly and you're talking about putting your cups away.
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Give me that in three, two, go for it.
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Ben, those coffee cups of yours, you know what?
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They're hilarious.
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They're half finished and seriously, if we left them any longer, they could probably ferment into something that we could sell.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Good, good, good, good.
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But you're not being silly enough.
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You're not being silly enough.
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So this already answers the question in my head, but you're not being silly enough.
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So I'm just going to push a little more.
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I want you to be a little more silly.
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Just go, man, this is crazy.
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I want you to go.
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If you don't feel silly while you're doing this, Marco, you're doing it wrong.
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All right.
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Love it.
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So try it again.
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Good, good, good, good.
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Try it again.
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I'm going to give you again.
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Super silly in three, two, and lots of melody.
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Go for it.
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Vin, what's going on?
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What's with those coffee cups over there?
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What are you doing?
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Help me out.
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God, Vin, those coffee cups.
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They're amazing.
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You've got an amazing collection there, really Vin.
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But guys, just pick them up and caress them as you put them away and just, you know, be your friend.
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They've been so close to you, Vin.
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But just hop them away in that sink and everyone will be so happy, Vin.
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Help me.
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Can we give
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Marco a big round of applause?
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Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.
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So this is an experiment we're playing with here, right?
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We saw fully, you know, stern Marco and we also saw a really, really fun kind of almost silly Marco.
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When I tried to push you towards the sillier version of you,
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it was harder for you to go into that because you more defaulted down to the other version, the more stern version.
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What that tells me, Marco, is that that's more, this more sterner version of communication, that's more your default.
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So that's why we kind of did that demonstration to go, which way do you lean more towards?
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What's easier for you to access?
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Way easier for you to access this.
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Had to push you to access this one.
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But you were still able to access it.
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Maybe in the way you're delivering things vocally and auditorily, it's coming across more stern.
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It's looking more stern and it sounds more stern.
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You'll pick up on the language you use that it may be a trifecta
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It may be all three
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By the way, if you want to learn the exact process I used to identify markers communication blind spots
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so that you can apply it to yourself
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and figure out what your blind spots are Make sure
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you click the link in the description for my free three -part video series
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When you watch through this training and apply the process to yourself, you'll gain clarity on the specific vocal,
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visual and verbal behaviors that you need to work on in order to be a better communicator.
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So click the link in the description.
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Again, it's completely free and I promise it will change your view of your communication forever.
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Let's keep on going with the video.
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Let's continue.
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Now what you can do is you can, because there are situations where you need to say the things you need to say.
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You need to have authority.
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You need, like again, you need a behavior to stop.
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So then in those moments, the word choices can stay the same, but the delivery mechanism can lighten up.
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It doesn't become the clown version of you.
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It doesn't become the silly version of you, but you lighten up the sternness in your delivery.
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And then all of a sudden, what that means is it changes it from just being, oh, that person's just being a hard ass, right?
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They're just being a real hard ass with me right now.
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But they'll now perceive it.
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Content's still the same, but now they'll perceive it as, all right, I've got to get my act together.
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And this person cares and they want to see me do better
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and they're being that coach that I really need right now.
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So there are ways to do it, right?
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And I'll give you an example because let's just use the cup idea.
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And if I gave that example, it would be something like, again, a really stern version is, I've told you three times,
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you need to put these cups away.
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It's ridiculous.
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So again, that's me using really negative, strong words and the person's going to walk away and go, ah man, Vin's a monster.
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But again, you can lighten that sternness by adding a little melody
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and slightly changing some of the word choice and facial expressions.
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So you're seeing it happen.
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So all of a sudden now I can say, hey, listen, something that's going to make all of us feel better.
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I do this from time to time as well.
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We've got to always put the cups away because if we don't, you know what happens?
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You'll get frustrated when there are no clean cups.
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I'll get frustrated there are no clean cups.
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Let's make sure we build some new habits.
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I need a door too, right?
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So then all of a sudden now there's a softer version of that.
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But then there are some people again, who go too soft and then they never get the respect that they deserve where they go,
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oh, do you mind just putting some of the cups away?
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You know, like it just doesn't, It kind of makes it hard for the rest of the team when you're like, yeah, is that okay?
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And then that version doesn't get respect.
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And then they don't listen anyway.
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So generally people don't listen to the extremities because again, there are times when you need to call it out, right?
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There are times when you need to call it.
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I get it.
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This is why you need that emotional intelligence.
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So if you're getting the feedback that that harder side is not working, it means you need to lighten it up.
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It means you've got to have more melody in your voice.
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That's the most pragmatic thing I can tell you, Marco, is more melody in your voice is naturally going to lighten the perception of that sternness.
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And then definitely smile.
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The smile and the raising of the, not having the eyebrows down, because I noticed that in you as well,
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having the eyebrows up slightly higher and a slight smile.
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Now you're reminding me with care.
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You're not just angry at me.
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Those are the key things.
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So again, let's just try it.
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What's an example of something you say often that you feel people take the wrong way?
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I'm a real estate agent, So I'm talking to lots of people all the time.
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Sometimes my off -sider will say, oh God, you know, that might have come across the wrong way.
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But yeah, so it might be, you know, someone's just come into a house and they've walked out and my standard question is,
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well, is this a home you feel you could live in?
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Some people sort of muffle off and wander off and other people engage.
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That's a common question, but yeah.
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Is this home something you can see yourself living in?
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That's a close -ended question.
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So that's a question I either say yes or no to.
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you want to ask an open -ended question first of all right
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so you want to ask a question that they can't just say yes
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or no to it's like when you go into a store and then people say can i help you
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that's a close -ended question
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and then the answer is oh no no just looking i mean how many of us say
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that right in the chat if you say
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that just type yes right
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you get a sense of everyone says oh can i help you just have a look right
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and an open -ended questions are what questions right questions where you go, what was your favorite part?
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Was there a least favorite part?
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Can you imagine yourself living here?
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So all of a sudden, you're asking more open -ended questions that require them to talk more as opposed to just a yes or a no.
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So you go, what was your favorite part of the property as you walked around?
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I saw you spend a bit of time in the kitchen.
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Was there something there that caught your interest?
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And you're trying to get them to talk more.
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So what I would suggest, Do you use ChatGPT, Marco?
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Huge.
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A lot.
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Fantastic.
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Not for advertising material.
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I use it more when I write an email and I literally say, make this sound more friendly.
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Okay, okay, okay.
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Okay, because you have such great situational awareness.
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The thing you would type in the ChatGPT is, what are some great open -ended questions to ask at an open home?
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And what you do from that is once you get that list, now make it your own.
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don't just pick the top three because
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that may not be right for you read through 50 of them
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and go which ones are good for me which ones do i like
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and then now you can practice the delivery of it
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right and and you really want lots of melody
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and you really want lots of lots of lots of smiles
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when you say it and you want to really practice this thing as well marco called legato
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and legato is
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when you link all of your words together more whereas right now what's creating a bit of
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that sternness in your voice is an element of staccato and I'll explain so everyone's on the same page.
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I explain this often so it's okay.
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Staccato is when I speak like this.
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It's when the words I have, they sound separate.
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All of a sudden, even if I want to sound friendly, when I speak like this, I seem a little bit more stern.
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Notice that?
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Legato is when you link all of the words together.
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So legato is, hey, notice you were hanging around the kitchen there.
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Was there something there that interested you in the design or was there something that you didn't like?
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right so all of a sudden when you link all of the words together it's
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so much easier to connect with that person
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because it's easier to listen to gotcha stern in staccato is designed
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that way because when someone is being stern with you it's it's a difficult situation
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so it should feel like a little bit confronting whereas legato is designed as a beautiful friendly melody
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so again let's go let's go with a more open -ended question and you'll be able to create your own list later
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Marco but again an open -ended question is again what was your favorite part of the house?
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Was there something that you liked?
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Was there something that you didn't like?
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I want you to link all of your words together while you do that
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in a second and lots of melody and a big smile.
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So give that a go and you almost have to feel silly
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when you're doing it because when you're practicing new behaviors if it doesn't feel uncomfortable
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Marco it means you're doing nothing different.
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It means you're doing everything exactly the same.
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Nothing's changing about you.
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So again I want you to feel silly, embrace that silliness, lots of melody, open -ended question, plus big smile on your face.
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Okay.
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Let's give it a crack, mate.
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All right, here we go.
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So I'm going to count you down.
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I'm about to walk out.
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Remember open -ended?
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What was your favorite thing?
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Was it the kitchen?
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Okay.
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Three, two, one.
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Go for it.
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Hey, Vin.
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Saw that you wandered through and spent a lot of time in the kitchen.
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What was that part of your favorite?
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What was the favorite part of your house?
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Okay, good, good, good, good.
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Much better.
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But I want more linking of the words.
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I want them all to be connected together the legato, right?
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And play with melody even more.
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Just a little bit more, a little bit more.
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Okay, in three, two, go for it.
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Hey, Vin, saw that you wandered through the whole house.
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You spent a bit of time in the kitchen.
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That looked awesome.
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What was the favorite part?
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What was the one thing that you enjoyed the most?
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Okay, perfect.
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All right, good.
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See, I can see you uncomfortable there.
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That discomfort will still be there until you iron out all the kinks.
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When you first try things like this, it always feels a little bit forced.
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And that's what happens.
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It's like when you first play the saxophone, you sound terrible.
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Nobody sounds good.
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So understand, Marco, there's many things you can work on there.
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Open -ended questions, which is the content.
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Second thing is legato, linking all the words together.
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And I'll definitely play with a lot more melody.
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I wouldn't be afraid of that.
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Again, I'll give you one last example from me so you can see it with clarity.
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It's that if someone comes to me at the open house and I say something like this,
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hi, can you see yourself living in a property like this?
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Can you imagine yourself living in a property like this versus
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if they come up big smile on your face hey can
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you imagine yourself living in a property like this one day two completely different feelings right
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but then again when you change it up now
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and you even change the content
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and you say hey i know you're about to just leave saw
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you spending a lot of time in the kitchen with your husband was there something
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that caught your eye was there something that or was there something that caught your eye in a bad way.
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Talk to me.
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Completely different vibe.
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All of a sudden now, it's not a simple yes or no, then they walk past you.
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It was like, yeah, actually, there was a couple of things that we really liked in the kitchen.
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Oh, what was it?
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Talk, tell me more.
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And then they start talking and then they start talking.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “How to Sound Friendly Without Losing Authority”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: marco, stern, word, melody, silly. Questo video contiene 290 frasi e 3048 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 13:36. Chi parla va veloce, circa 224 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 88% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| stern sostantivo | /stɝn/ | poppa |
| silly aggettivo | /ˈsɪl.i/ | sciocco |
| melody sostantivo | /ˈmɛl.ə.di/ | melodia |
| perceive verbo | /pɚˈsiv/ | percepire |
| sudden aggettivo | /ˈsʌd.ən/ | improvviso |
| default sostantivo | /dɪˈfɔlt/ | mora, morosità |
| facial aggettivo | /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/ | facciale |
| wander verbo | /ˈwɑndɚ/ | errare, vagare |
| whereas | /(h)wɛɹˈæz/ | laddove, mentre |
| connect verbo | /kəˈnɛkt/ | connettere, connettersi |
| habit sostantivo | /ˈhæb.ɪt/ | abitudine, consuetudine |
| uncomfortable aggettivo | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | scomodo |
| clown sostantivo | /ˈklaʊ̯n/ | pagliaccio, pagliaccia |
| clarity sostantivo | /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/ | chiarezza |
| naturally avverbio | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | naturalmente |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria |
| come up verbo | venire fuori, emergere |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| put away verbo | mettere via |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Ben, those coffee cups of yours, you know what?
- What's easier for you to access?
- Can you imagine yourself living here?
- Was there something there that caught your interest?
- Was there something that you didn't like?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is based · is needed · is designed |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've helped · They've been · I've told |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 87 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, I'm, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, demonstration /dɛmənˈstɹeɪʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, intonation /ɪntəˈneɪʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, experiment /ɪkˈspɛɹ.ə.mənt/, hilarious /hɪˈlɛə.ɹi.əs/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, hilarious /hɪˈlɛə.ɹi.əs/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: perceive /pɚˈsiv/, default /dɪˈfɔlt/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, connect /kəˈnɛkt/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, clarity /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, crack /kɹæk/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come stern, silly, melody.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.