쉐도잉 연습: How to Deal with Negative Emotions - Distress Tolerance - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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Hi, I'm Dr. Tracy Marks, a psychiatrist, and I make mental health education videos.

I've talked about dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, as the best treatment for borderline personality disorder.

But there are modified forms of DBT that can be helpful for other conditions, like bipolar disorder, anxiety, eating disorders,

depression, and post -traumatic stress disorder.

Today I'm gonna teach you one of the many techniques that's used with DBT to be able to manage your emotions.

It's called distress tolerance.

Distress tolerance is the skill of being able to accept the emotion

that you're feeling without resorting to coping behaviors that make your situation and your overall condition worse.

The top three categories of negative emotions are sadness, anger, and fear.

And we all have different degrees of tolerance for these kinds of emotions.

It's a normal reaction to wanna get rid of the negative emotions,

but what you do to get rid of these emotions makes all the difference in what happens to the emotions.

Let me explain.

Suppose I lose my job.

I'm going to be upset about that.

It's not realistic to think that I can just take the news and say, oh, that's a shame, but I'm happy to be alive.

That's unnatural.

We're built to experience a wide spectrum of emotions from happiness to sadness to anger to fear.

You may say, a person who's secure in themselves and in their faith has no reason to be fearful.

But if a bear walks into the room and bears his teeth at me, I will wet my pants and run.

Being afraid and wanting to run is an adaptive response for self -protection.

So we're all wired to experience the full spectrum of emotions in response to both external and internal experiences.

Internal experiences would be what you're thinking about in your head.

How you tolerate and experience the different emotions is molded

and shaped by your temperament which is your nature and your upbringing which is how you were nurtured.

I like to call your temperament your factory installed reflex.

It's basically what you were born with and is based on your genes

but you can be raised to believe that certain emotions like anger are bad and you should never show your anger.

If you grow up believing this then you're going to have serious issues dealing with and being or feeling angry.

You may tell yourself that you're not angry but your mind knows

that you are and the anger will show up as anxiety

or unprocessed anger can show up as depression because that's more acceptable than demonstrating anger or even admitting that you're angry.

So you have to be able to accept and handle the range of emotions that you experience.

If you have trouble with that, then on an unconscious level you will find a way to manage that emotion.

And here are some of the maladaptive or not -so -great ways

that we try and escape the negative emotions when we can't accept them.

Avoidance.

This is avoiding situations or seeking reassurance from people.

You can also make futile attempts to distract yourself from the emotion.

Numbing.

You can use alcohol and drugs to numb the feeling

or binge eating or even oversleeping so that you don't have to feel the pain.

Another way to escape is to use self -harm

and this could be cutting or punching yourself or even pulling out your hair.

Escaping the distressing emotion only works in the short term.

What you do to escape it can cause more problems for you in the long term.

So what does it mean to tolerate the distressing emotion instead of escape it?

It means you accept it, make room for it, sit with it, and let it pass on its own time.

There are several techniques within DBT to help you tolerate distress.

Here's one that's based on the concept of mindfulness.

I talk more about mindfulness in this video.

The link will be in the corner and in the description.

But in short, when you think mindfully, you focus on what's going on at the moment with acceptance and no judgment.

It's just observation.

And this is how you're going to treat your negative emotions.

Here's a template for how you can think about them.

Let's go back to my example of losing my job.

I'm enraged

because I think my company lied to me about keeping me around during the transition from one company to the next.

And to make matters worse, the job went to someone I trained.

Now consciously I think, I'm so upset.

But unconsciously my real thoughts are, I hate my boss and I want to beat him down to the ground.

But with my upbringing, ladies don't think like that.

And especially a Christian woman, that's evil to think such a thing.

So I'm not consciously aware of my aggressive impulses.

That's what a therapist would help me see.

And instead, I bury my anger in a pan of brownies and I pick out my eyebrows.

Here's what I wanna do to process my rage, and this is a mindfulness exercise.

Recognize and allow the emotion.

This reflection is best made after I first hear the news that I'm being let go.

I wanna deal with this early before I get to the pan of brownies.

So I would say, I'm feeling angry at Bob.

In fact, I hate him.

but I'm not bad because I have this feeling and I can allow myself to have it.

I'm going to make space for it

and I do not need to be afraid of it because I'm not going to take action against Bob.

I can control myself.

So I don't need to get rid of this feeling.

So here I am admitting to the worst possible emotion that I can have about this situation.

I wanna assume that I'm gonna downplay it in my mind.

So go ahead and blow it up and own it.

I'm not just mad, I hate him.

But there's no judgment here.

It's just an emotion, that's it.

I'm not gonna act on it, I'm just gonna let it sit here with me.

Next, you wanna watch the emotion.

Let me watch this anger and hate and see what it does.

While I'm watching it, I'm gonna call it what it is anger and rage.

I don't have to get caught up in it.

Where do I notice the emotion in my body?

I notice it in my shoulders.

I feel tense.

But it's just an emotion.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I am not my emotions.

I simply watch my emotions.

A good analogy is to think of the emotion as an ocean wave.

I'm not gonna struggle and fight this wave.

I'm gonna go with it and float with it.

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I may even ride this wave to the shore.

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The next step is to be present.

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You're gonna turn your attention to what you're doing now, what's in front of you.

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And there's two ways that you can do this.

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The first is to use your five senses.

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I'm going to notice what's going on with all my five senses.

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What can I feel?

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What can I touch?

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What do I hear?

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What do I see in front of me?

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What do I smell?

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What do I taste?

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Another way you can be present is to turn your attention to your breath.

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My breath is my anchor for the moment.

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I take note of how I inhale and how I exhale.

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What do you do when the emotion comes back?

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When the emotion returns, you say, That's okay.

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That's what emotions do.

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They come and they go.

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But I'm gonna watch it again.

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I'll let it sit here in the room with me, or I may float with it up and down again, just like the ocean wave.

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That's the exercise.

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You should write it down as a script and say it to yourself.

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I'll have a template for you in the description.

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These negative emotions do cause distress, but accepting this distress doesn't mean that you enjoy it,

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nor does it mean that you try and fake like it doesn't matter to you.

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Accepting the emotion is about changing the way that you look at it.

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You see it for what it is, and in my case, rage.

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And then I change how I pay attention to it.

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It's like I'm detaching from the sting of the emotion

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because I'm simply observing it as one of many emotions

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that I can experience so I don't have to fear

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that it's gonna consume me because I'm over here and it's over there.

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And how I pay attention to the emotion changes how it affects me.

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Give it a try.

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I have a template for this exercise in the description.

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See you next time.

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이 레슨의 어휘와 말하기 포인트

이 말하기 레슨은 영상 “How to Deal with Negative Emotions - Distress Tolerance”을(를) 바탕으로 합니다. 가장 자주 반복되는 단어는 다음과 같습니다: emotion, anger, experience, feeling. 이 영상에는 섀도잉할 문장 114개와 단어 1495개가 있습니다. 말하는 구간의 길이는 9:05입니다. 화자는 분당 약 165단어로, 일상 대화에 가까운 자연스러운 속도로 말합니다. 단어의 82%가 영어에서 가장 많이 쓰이는 3,000단어에 속합니다. 나머지는 연습 전에 미리 확인해 두세요.

이 영상의 핵심 어휘

영상에 나오는 익혀 둘 만한 단어 15개를 발음, 뜻과 함께 정리했습니다.

단어	발음	뜻
emotion 명사	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	감정
anger 명사	/ˈæŋɡə/	성, 분노
disorder 명사	/dɪsˈɔɹdɚ/	혼란
tolerate 동사	/ˈtɑ.lə.ɹeɪt/	참는다
template 명사	/ˈtɛm.plɪt/	템플렛, 샘플
technique 명사	/tɛkˈniːk/	기술
anxiety 명사	/æŋˈzaɪ.əti/	걱정, 불안
breathe 동사	/bɹiːð/	숨쉬다, 호흡(呼吸)하다
spectrum 명사	/ˈspɛktɹəm/	스펙트럼, 분광
sadness 명사	/ˈsædnəs/	슬픔
numb 형용사	/nʌm/	마비되는
pants 명사	/pænts/	바지
harm 명사	/hɑːm/	해
transition 명사	/tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/	전이, 변화
happiness 명사	/ˈhæpinɪs/	행복, 기쁨

영상에 나오는 구동사

단어	뜻
come back 동사	돌아오다
pull out 동사	회수(回收)하다

따라 말해 볼 만한 문장

영상에 나오는 짧고 완결된 문장으로, 일상 대화에서 그대로 쓸 수 있습니다:

I'm going to be upset about that.
I'm not just mad, I hate him.
Where do I notice the emotion in my body?
What do I see in front of me?
What do you do when the emotion comes back?

주의할 발음

화자는 I'm, gonna, you're 같은 축약형과 약화된 형태를 59번 사용합니다. 들리는 대로 짧게 발음하세요.

“th” 소리: breathe /bɹiːð/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
“sh”와 “zh” 소리: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, shore /ʃɔɹ/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, observation /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/
긴 단어 — 강세 위치에 주의: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, acceptable /əkˈsɛp.tə.bəl/, analogy /əˈnæləd͡ʒi/, psychiatrist /ˌsaɪˈkaɪ.ə.tɹɪst/, temperament /ˈtɛm.pɚ.ə.mənt/

한국어 화자가 어려워하는 소리:

/f/ — ㅍ(/p/)으로 바꾸지 말고 윗니를 아랫입술에 대기: float /fləʊt/, helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, modify /ˈmɑ.dɪˌfaɪ/, fearful /ˈfɪəfəl/
/v/ — ㅂ(/b/)과 구별하기: aggressive /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/, observation /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/, observe /əbˈzɜːv/, adaptive /əˈdæp.tɪv/, avoidance /əˈvɔɪdəns/
/z/ — ㅈ이 아니라 성대를 울리는 /s/: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, resort /ɹɪˈzɔɹt/, observation /ˌɑbzɚˈveɪʃn̩/, observe /əbˈzɜːv/

이 영상으로 연습하는 방법

먼저 말하지 않고 영상을 끝까지 듣고 모르는 단어를 적어 둡니다.
0.75배속으로 한 문장씩 섀도잉을 시작하고, 익숙해지면 보통 속도로 돌아갑니다.
자신의 목소리를 녹음해 원본과 비교하고, emotion, anger, disorder 같은 단어에 특히 주의합니다.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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쉐도잉 연습: How to Deal with Negative Emotions - Distress Tolerance - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

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