쉐도잉 연습: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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I'm on day two of Ozimbik.
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I'm on day two of Ozimbik, and my confidence is already through the roof.
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This fat girl tried to talk to me.
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I was like, uh-uh, not no more, bitch.
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Them days are over.
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This your lady?
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Not in a month.
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She coming with me.
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Matter of fact, all you dudes in here, you got one month left with your girl. So, she choosing.
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With my new body now, I'm not a comedian no more.
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So, unfortunately, I don't have jokes tonight.
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I came here to prepare y'all for the inevitable apocalypse.
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Y'all realize that, right?
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The world's ending.
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Some of y'all out here still dating and moving like there's a country left.
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It's over.
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Stop, if you a couple tonight, you don't got to do it now, but at some point on the way home, look at the person you went and be like, can I survive the apocalypse with them?
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And if the answer is no, get rid of them.
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No hard feelings.
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Y'all can make it a couple's activity.
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Gift them with a crossbow and wish them well, but you gotta survive this thing.
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There's some single people in here too.
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Look, ladies, tall men, I know y'all love them, useless in the apocalypse.
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You can't do nothing with a tall man in the apocalypse.
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You can't hide him nowhere.
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Y'all trying to hide from the drones.
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This big dummy making eye contact with him.
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Like, nigga Duck, what are you doing?
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Tall dudes can't even whisper.
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Have you heard a tall dude whisper?
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There goes our cover.
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Great.
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Ladies, you need a short king that can burrow.
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Short kings in the house.
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You need a short man that can get low in a pinch.
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He could do a surprise attack.
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A soldier stops you.
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He's searching through your bug out bag.
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Guess who in there?
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Your short king.
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Jumps out like a Pokemon.
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Stabs him in arteries.
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What do you need?
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Your tall king gonna get separated.
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They gonna take your tall man.
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They gonna take him to labor camp.
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He gonna have to join the militia.
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Your short game coming with you, women and children.
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He coming, right?
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Put a little propeller hat on him, he good to go.
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Write this one, young man, you're good.
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Ladies, y'all gonna need them short kings.
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And it's not just the women, fellas, it's us too.
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There's no use for a freak in the apocalypse.
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This girl's telling me she has squirted her.
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Bitch, that is irresponsible.
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Resources are scarce.
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and you have the temerity to squirt on night?
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We gotta hike tomorrow, you gonna be dehydrated.
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Don't look at my canteen, I'm not sharing.
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You need to treat your pussy like a camel's hump and preserve the Lord's liquids, all right?
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What is it?
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Is it pee?
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It's sustenance, and we might...
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We might need it.
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Put out a fire, you never know.
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That shit don't even sound sexy in Apocalypse, do it?
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Pussy stay wet, pussy stay dripping.
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Great, now the hounds have tracked us, great.
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Great.
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Left a trail right to the hideout.
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It's bad, I'm telling you.
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Red flags won't be red flags in the apocalypse.
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The things we don't like now are gonna be valuable assets in the end times, right?
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My homie told me I was gonna break up with his girl because she's a stalker.
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I'm like, not in the apocalypse, that bitch is a tracker.
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You might need your crazy acts.
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You out forging in the woods, you slip and get lost in the cave.
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What's that movie, 127 Hours?
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Guess we're gonna find you, your crazy girl.
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Especially if she think you're in a cave with that bitch.
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She on her way.
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She on her way.
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Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?
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Fuck my boundaries and come find me.
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I'm gonna need that shit, man.
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I'm telling you.
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Ladies, stop.
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Let it go.
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You look too pretty for the apocalypse.
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I'm gonna be real.
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You too high maintenance.
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Ladies, let yourself go, all right?
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Let that gallus on the back of your foot grow.
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You might need it to cut rope.
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You don't know...
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Somebody got you bound and tied up, like, babe, give me your foot.
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Too superficial.
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Last one.
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Man, I'm telling you, ladies, I know y'all love big dicks, but micropenis...
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Nah, I'm just kidding.
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You don't need it.
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Micropenises is how we got into this mess in the first place.
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One very particular micropenis...
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Some say the best.
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I'm not gonna survive the apocalypse, so I'm dating for what I need right now in this immediate moment.
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I'm on the apps looking for a Filipino nurse.
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Male or female, I don't...
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As long as your pronouns are in, we good to go.
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What you identify?
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Can you check vitals?
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Because my healthcare, man, they're playing with my healthcare.
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Try to get Adderall.
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Well, I could never really get Adderall.
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For those who don't know, Adderall's a pill that was invented so that white students can compete with Asians.
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It's a fact, yeah.
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And because of that, they don't really like to give it to black people. So...
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I'm glad y'all found that shit funny.
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It's very inconvenient.
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I want Adderall.
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I got to meet a kid named Cooper at a middle school.
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It's not...
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Met up with Cooper, he was saying, because his parents...
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He was worried one of his parents get deported.
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I thought he was white.
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Turns out he's Waysian.
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I don't know if y'all know what Waysian is.
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It's half white, half Asian, so...
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He technically is Adderall.
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He don't need it.
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You know what I mean? But...
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I felt bad man because right now immigration all the shit going on in this country man is
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that ice shit is evil I don't care what side you want
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if you can't see with your own eyes ice is evil
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something is truly wrong with you like look I support look
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I'm never down no for real I'm not doing it for
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class man that's how I truly feel especially here in California right we targeted Mexicans
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and Latinos this is native indigenous land that was stolen from people Texas Arizona, all of that.
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You take DeLynn and deny them access to it.
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I don't know if you guys know this, but Chicago has a large, thriving Mexican community.
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And when I found that out, I was like, all right, now that's trespassing.
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That's...
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Now, hold on now.
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You had to pass several states to get to that shit.
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Mexicans in Chirac?
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Snow Mexicans?
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And I'm sorry if that's racist.
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If it is, pull me aside.
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Let's have a dialogue, but...
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The snow is robbing you of a rich Latino.
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You can't jump on a bouncy house in the blizzard.
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Like, what?
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Do I think every Mexican immigrant here is a criminal?
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No. Do I think everyone in Chicago is?
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You're goddamn right.
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I don't...
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Trust white people from Chicago.
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Listen, you don't need me to know that you don't belong in Chicago.
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The city itself, the way it spells, C-H-I-C-A-G-O.
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Chica, go.
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Get the fuck out.
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All this stuff, man.
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This country is just mad right now.
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Everybody was tripping about Bad Bunny, right, about his halftime performance because it wasn't in English.
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That was a very beautiful performance, and I was real.
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I was on his side.
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I didn't think he should perform an English performance in Spanish because as a performer who travels around a lot
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and speaks in English, there's always a confused white man with a confused look on his face.
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Like he can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.
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There's one here tonight, and you're being very polite about it.
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You're being very polite, but you haven't heard anything I've said all night.
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All he's heard was, Shabbataboo-bop-blah!
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We're gonna live on a boat!
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Zattery!
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Blow them tickets for Pat Pies, niggas!
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He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?
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He was like, I think I saw Lizzo.
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I don't know.
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She had a new song about squirting in the apocalypse.
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I've been Kari Shabazz.
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Y'all been great.
이 레슨에 대해
"How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy"으로 쉐도잉 기법을 사용해 영어를 연습합니다.
매일 15~30분 꾸준히 연습하면 IELTS 스피킹에 대한 자신감이 길러집니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.