Pratique du Shadowing: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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181 phrases

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I'm on day two of Ozimbik.

I'm on day two of Ozimbik, and my confidence is already through the roof.

This fat girl tried to talk to me.

I was like, uh-uh, not no more, bitch.

Them days are over.

This your lady?

Not in a month.

She coming with me.

Matter of fact, all you dudes in here, you got one month left with your girl. So, she choosing.

With my new body now, I'm not a comedian no more.

So, unfortunately, I don't have jokes tonight.

I came here to prepare y'all for the inevitable apocalypse.

Y'all realize that, right?

The world's ending.

Some of y'all out here still dating and moving like there's a country left.

It's over.

Stop, if you a couple tonight, you don't got to do it now, but at some point on the way home, look at the person you went and be like, can I survive the apocalypse with them?

And if the answer is no, get rid of them.

No hard feelings.

Y'all can make it a couple's activity.

Gift them with a crossbow and wish them well, but you gotta survive this thing.

There's some single people in here too.

Look, ladies, tall men, I know y'all love them, useless in the apocalypse.

You can't do nothing with a tall man in the apocalypse.

You can't hide him nowhere.

Y'all trying to hide from the drones.

This big dummy making eye contact with him.

Like, nigga Duck, what are you doing?

Tall dudes can't even whisper.

Have you heard a tall dude whisper?

There goes our cover.

Great.

Ladies, you need a short king that can burrow.

Short kings in the house.

You need a short man that can get low in a pinch.

He could do a surprise attack.

A soldier stops you.

He's searching through your bug out bag.

Guess who in there?

Your short king.

Jumps out like a Pokemon.

Stabs him in arteries.

What do you need?

Your tall king gonna get separated.

They gonna take your tall man.

They gonna take him to labor camp.

He gonna have to join the militia.

Your short game coming with you, women and children.

He coming, right?

Put a little propeller hat on him, he good to go.

Write this one, young man, you're good.

Ladies, y'all gonna need them short kings.

And it's not just the women, fellas, it's us too.

There's no use for a freak in the apocalypse.

This girl's telling me she has squirted her.

Bitch, that is irresponsible.

Resources are scarce.

and you have the temerity to squirt on night?

We gotta hike tomorrow, you gonna be dehydrated.

Don't look at my canteen, I'm not sharing.

You need to treat your pussy like a camel's hump and preserve the Lord's liquids, all right?

What is it?

Is it pee?

It's sustenance, and we might...

We might need it.

Put out a fire, you never know.

That shit don't even sound sexy in Apocalypse, do it?

Pussy stay wet, pussy stay dripping.

Great, now the hounds have tracked us, great.

Great.

Left a trail right to the hideout.

It's bad, I'm telling you.

Red flags won't be red flags in the apocalypse.

The things we don't like now are gonna be valuable assets in the end times, right?

My homie told me I was gonna break up with his girl because she's a stalker.

I'm like, not in the apocalypse, that bitch is a tracker.

You might need your crazy acts.

You out forging in the woods, you slip and get lost in the cave.

What's that movie, 127 Hours?

Guess we're gonna find you, your crazy girl.

Especially if she think you're in a cave with that bitch.

She on her way.

Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?

Fuck my boundaries and come find me.

I'm gonna need that shit, man.

I'm telling you.

Ladies, stop.

Let it go.

You look too pretty for the apocalypse.

I'm gonna be real.

You too high maintenance.

Ladies, let yourself go, all right?

Let that gallus on the back of your foot grow.

You might need it to cut rope.

You don't know...

Somebody got you bound and tied up, like, babe, give me your foot.

Too superficial.

Last one.

100

Man, I'm telling you, ladies, I know y'all love big dicks, but micropenis...

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Nah, I'm just kidding.

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You don't need it.

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Micropenises is how we got into this mess in the first place.

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One very particular micropenis...

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Some say the best.

106

I'm not gonna survive the apocalypse, so I'm dating for what I need right now in this immediate moment.

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I'm on the apps looking for a Filipino nurse.

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Male or female, I don't...

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As long as your pronouns are in, we good to go.

110

What you identify?

111

Can you check vitals?

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Because my healthcare, man, they're playing with my healthcare.

113

Try to get Adderall.

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Well, I could never really get Adderall.

115

For those who don't know, Adderall's a pill that was invented so that white students can compete with Asians.

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It's a fact, yeah.

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And because of that, they don't really like to give it to black people. So...

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I'm glad y'all found that shit funny.

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It's very inconvenient.

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I want Adderall.

121

I got to meet a kid named Cooper at a middle school.

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It's not...

123

Met up with Cooper, he was saying, because his parents...

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He was worried one of his parents get deported.

125

I thought he was white.

126

Turns out he's Waysian.

127

I don't know if y'all know what Waysian is.

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It's half white, half Asian, so...

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He technically is Adderall.

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He don't need it.

131

You know what I mean? But...

132

I felt bad man because right now immigration all the shit going on in this country man is

133

that ice shit is evil I don't care what side you want

134

if you can't see with your own eyes ice is evil

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something is truly wrong with you like look I support look

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I'm never down no for real I'm not doing it for

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class man that's how I truly feel especially here in California right we targeted Mexicans

138

and Latinos this is native indigenous land that was stolen from people Texas Arizona, all of that.

139

You take DeLynn and deny them access to it.

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I don't know if you guys know this, but Chicago has a large, thriving Mexican community.

141

And when I found that out, I was like, all right, now that's trespassing.

142

That's...

143

Now, hold on now.

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You had to pass several states to get to that shit.

145

Mexicans in Chirac?

146

Snow Mexicans?

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And I'm sorry if that's racist.

148

If it is, pull me aside.

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Let's have a dialogue, but...

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The snow is robbing you of a rich Latino.

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You can't jump on a bouncy house in the blizzard.

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Like, what?

153

Do I think every Mexican immigrant here is a criminal?

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No. Do I think everyone in Chicago is?

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You're goddamn right.

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I don't...

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Trust white people from Chicago.

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Listen, you don't need me to know that you don't belong in Chicago.

159

The city itself, the way it spells, C-H-I-C-A-G-O.

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Chica, go.

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Get the fuck out.

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All this stuff, man.

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This country is just mad right now.

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Everybody was tripping about Bad Bunny, right, about his halftime performance because it wasn't in English.

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That was a very beautiful performance, and I was real.

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I was on his side.

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I didn't think he should perform an English performance in Spanish because as a performer who travels around a lot

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and speaks in English, there's always a confused white man with a confused look on his face.

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Like he can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.

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There's one here tonight, and you're being very polite about it.

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You're being very polite, but you haven't heard anything I've said all night.

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All he's heard was, Shabbataboo-bop-blah!

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We're gonna live on a boat!

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Zattery!

175

Blow them tickets for Pat Pies, niggas!

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He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

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He was like, I think I saw Lizzo.

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I don't know.

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She had a new song about squirting in the apocalypse.

180

I've been Kari Shabazz.

181

Y'all been great.

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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon

Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « How to Survive the Apocalypse ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : apocalypse, tall, ladies. Cette vidéo contient 181 phrases et 1384 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 10:12. Le locuteur parle à un rythme régulier d’environ 136 mots par minute, confortable pour le shadowing. Seuls 80 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc exigeant.

Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo

Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :

Mot	Prononciation	Sens
apocalypse nom	/əˈpɑkəlɪps/	apocalypse
squirt verbe	/skwɝt/	gicler
polite adjectif	/pəˈlaɪt/	poli
boundary nom	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	frontière, limite
burrow nom	/ˈbʌɹoʊ/	terrier, clapier
canteen nom	/kænˈtin/	gourde, bidon
crossbow nom	/ˈkɹɒsbəʊ/	arbalète
dehydrate verbe	/diːhaɪˈdɹeɪt/	déshydrater
deport verbe	/dɪˈpɔɹt/	déporter
gallows nom	/ˈɡæloʊz/	gibet, potence
hideout nom	/ˈhaɪdˌaʊt/	cachette, planque
inconvenient adjectif	/ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/	incommode, inconvenant
pronoun nom	/ˈpɹoʊ.naʊn/	pronom
propeller nom	/pɹəˈpɛl.ə/	hélice
stalker nom	/ˈstɔːkə(ɹ)/	traqueur, traqueuse

Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez

Mot	Sens
tie up verbe	ligoter
turn out verbe	se finir, se terminer

Des phrases à répéter

Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :

You can't hide him nowhere.
Have you heard a tall dude whisper?
Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?
You know what I mean?
He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

La grammaire de cette vidéo

Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :

Structure	Dans la vidéo
Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant	Have you heard · has squirted · have tracked
Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait	be dehydrated · was invented · was stolen

Prononciation à surveiller

Le locuteur utilise 73 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, I'm, gonna. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.

Les sons « sh » et « zh »: superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, militia /məˈlɪʃə/
Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: apocalypse /əˈpɑkəlɪps/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, temerity /təˈmɛɹ.ə.ti/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, irresponsible /ˌɪɹ.əˈspɑn.sə.bəl/

Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :

/h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: whisper /ˈ(h)wɪspɚ/, dehydrate /diːhaɪˈdɹeɪt/, hideout /ˈhaɪdˌaʊt/, hike /haɪk/
/tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: pinch /pɪnt͡ʃ/, forge /fɔɹd͡ʒ/, indigenous /ɪnˈdɪd͡ʒənəs/
/r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/, burrow /ˈbʌɹoʊ/, crossbow /ˈkɹɒsbəʊ/, dehydrate /diːhaɪˈdɹeɪt/, deport /dɪˈpɔɹt/

Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo

Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
Répétez phrase par phrase à vitesse normale, en reprenant chacune jusqu’à ce que votre rythme corresponde à celui du locuteur.
Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme apocalypse, squirt, polite.

Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?

Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.

Technique du shadowing : lire le guide complet étape par étape →

Pratique du Shadowing: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo

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