Shadowing Practice: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - Learn English Speaking with Video

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I'm on day two of Ozimbik.

I'm on day two of Ozimbik, and my confidence is already through the roof.

This fat girl tried to talk to me.

I was like, uh-uh, not no more, bitch.

Them days are over.

This your lady?

Not in a month.

She coming with me.

Matter of fact, all you dudes in here, you got one month left with your girl. So, she choosing.

With my new body now, I'm not a comedian no more.

So, unfortunately, I don't have jokes tonight.

I came here to prepare y'all for the inevitable apocalypse.

Y'all realize that, right?

The world's ending.

Some of y'all out here still dating and moving like there's a country left.

It's over.

Stop, if you a couple tonight, you don't got to do it now, but at some point on the way home, look at the person you went and be like, can I survive the apocalypse with them?

And if the answer is no, get rid of them.

No hard feelings.

Y'all can make it a couple's activity.

Gift them with a crossbow and wish them well, but you gotta survive this thing.

There's some single people in here too.

Look, ladies, tall men, I know y'all love them, useless in the apocalypse.

You can't do nothing with a tall man in the apocalypse.

You can't hide him nowhere.

Y'all trying to hide from the drones.

This big dummy making eye contact with him.

Like, nigga Duck, what are you doing?

Tall dudes can't even whisper.

Have you heard a tall dude whisper?

There goes our cover.

Great.

Ladies, you need a short king that can burrow.

Short kings in the house.

You need a short man that can get low in a pinch.

He could do a surprise attack.

A soldier stops you.

He's searching through your bug out bag.

Guess who in there?

Your short king.

Jumps out like a Pokemon.

Stabs him in arteries.

What do you need?

Your tall king gonna get separated.

They gonna take your tall man.

They gonna take him to labor camp.

He gonna have to join the militia.

Your short game coming with you, women and children.

He coming, right?

Put a little propeller hat on him, he good to go.

Write this one, young man, you're good.

Ladies, y'all gonna need them short kings.

And it's not just the women, fellas, it's us too.

There's no use for a freak in the apocalypse.

This girl's telling me she has squirted her.

Bitch, that is irresponsible.

Resources are scarce.

and you have the temerity to squirt on night?

We gotta hike tomorrow, you gonna be dehydrated.

Don't look at my canteen, I'm not sharing.

You need to treat your pussy like a camel's hump and preserve the Lord's liquids, all right?

What is it?

Is it pee?

It's sustenance, and we might...

We might need it.

Put out a fire, you never know.

That shit don't even sound sexy in Apocalypse, do it?

Pussy stay wet, pussy stay dripping.

Great, now the hounds have tracked us, great.

Great.

Left a trail right to the hideout.

It's bad, I'm telling you.

Red flags won't be red flags in the apocalypse.

The things we don't like now are gonna be valuable assets in the end times, right?

My homie told me I was gonna break up with his girl because she's a stalker.

I'm like, not in the apocalypse, that bitch is a tracker.

You might need your crazy acts.

You out forging in the woods, you slip and get lost in the cave.

What's that movie, 127 Hours?

Guess we're gonna find you, your crazy girl.

Especially if she think you're in a cave with that bitch.

She on her way.

Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?

Fuck my boundaries and come find me.

I'm gonna need that shit, man.

I'm telling you.

Ladies, stop.

Let it go.

You look too pretty for the apocalypse.

I'm gonna be real.

You too high maintenance.

Ladies, let yourself go, all right?

Let that gallus on the back of your foot grow.

You might need it to cut rope.

You don't know...

Somebody got you bound and tied up, like, babe, give me your foot.

Too superficial.

Last one.

100

Man, I'm telling you, ladies, I know y'all love big dicks, but micropenis...

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Nah, I'm just kidding.

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You don't need it.

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Micropenises is how we got into this mess in the first place.

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One very particular micropenis...

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Some say the best.

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I'm not gonna survive the apocalypse, so I'm dating for what I need right now in this immediate moment.

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I'm on the apps looking for a Filipino nurse.

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Male or female, I don't...

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As long as your pronouns are in, we good to go.

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What you identify?

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Can you check vitals?

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Because my healthcare, man, they're playing with my healthcare.

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Try to get Adderall.

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Well, I could never really get Adderall.

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For those who don't know, Adderall's a pill that was invented so that white students can compete with Asians.

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It's a fact, yeah.

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And because of that, they don't really like to give it to black people. So...

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I'm glad y'all found that shit funny.

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It's very inconvenient.

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I want Adderall.

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I got to meet a kid named Cooper at a middle school.

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It's not...

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Met up with Cooper, he was saying, because his parents...

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He was worried one of his parents get deported.

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I thought he was white.

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Turns out he's Waysian.

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I don't know if y'all know what Waysian is.

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It's half white, half Asian, so...

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He technically is Adderall.

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He don't need it.

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You know what I mean? But...

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I felt bad man because right now immigration all the shit going on in this country man is

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that ice shit is evil I don't care what side you want

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if you can't see with your own eyes ice is evil

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something is truly wrong with you like look I support look

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I'm never down no for real I'm not doing it for

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class man that's how I truly feel especially here in California right we targeted Mexicans

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and Latinos this is native indigenous land that was stolen from people Texas Arizona, all of that.

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You take DeLynn and deny them access to it.

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I don't know if you guys know this, but Chicago has a large, thriving Mexican community.

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And when I found that out, I was like, all right, now that's trespassing.

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That's...

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Now, hold on now.

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You had to pass several states to get to that shit.

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Mexicans in Chirac?

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Snow Mexicans?

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And I'm sorry if that's racist.

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If it is, pull me aside.

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Let's have a dialogue, but...

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The snow is robbing you of a rich Latino.

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You can't jump on a bouncy house in the blizzard.

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Like, what?

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Do I think every Mexican immigrant here is a criminal?

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No. Do I think everyone in Chicago is?

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You're goddamn right.

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I don't...

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Trust white people from Chicago.

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Listen, you don't need me to know that you don't belong in Chicago.

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The city itself, the way it spells, C-H-I-C-A-G-O.

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Chica, go.

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Get the fuck out.

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All this stuff, man.

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This country is just mad right now.

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Everybody was tripping about Bad Bunny, right, about his halftime performance because it wasn't in English.

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That was a very beautiful performance, and I was real.

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I was on his side.

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I didn't think he should perform an English performance in Spanish because as a performer who travels around a lot

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and speaks in English, there's always a confused white man with a confused look on his face.

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Like he can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.

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There's one here tonight, and you're being very polite about it.

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You're being very polite, but you haven't heard anything I've said all night.

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All he's heard was, Shabbataboo-bop-blah!

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We're gonna live on a boat!

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Zattery!

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Blow them tickets for Pat Pies, niggas!

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He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

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He was like, I think I saw Lizzo.

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I don't know.

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She had a new song about squirting in the apocalypse.

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I've been Kari Shabazz.

181

Y'all been great.

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53 sentences

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “How to Survive the Apocalypse”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: apocalypse, tall, ladies. This video has 181 sentences and 1384 words to shadow. The speech runs for 10:12. The speaker talks at a steady 136 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. Only 80% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is demanding.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
apocalypse noun	/əˈpɑkəlɪps/	A revealing, especially a prophecy of, or the unfolding of, supernatural events.
squirt verb	/skwɝt/	To be thrown out, or ejected, in a rapid stream, from a narrow orifice.
whisper verb	/ˈ(h)wɪspɚ/	To speak softly or under one's breath, so as to be heard only by one near at hand; to utter words without sonant breath; to talk without that vibration of the…
polite adjective	/pəˈlaɪt/	Well-mannered, civilized.
boundary noun	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	The dividing line or location between two areas.
bouncy adjective	/ˈbaʊnsi/	Easily bounced.
burrow noun	/ˈbʌɹoʊ/	A tunnel or hole, or a system of tunnels, often as dug by a small creature for use as a home.
canteen noun	/kænˈtin/	A water bottle, flask, or other vessel, typically used by a soldier or camper as a bottle for carrying water or liquor for drink.
crossbow noun	/ˈkɹɒsbəʊ/	A mechanised weapon, based on the bow and arrow, that shoots bolts.
dehydrate verb	/diːhaɪˈdɹeɪt/	To remove water from; to dry up.
deport verb	/dɪˈpɔɹt/	To evict, especially from a country.
gallows noun	/ˈɡæloʊz/	A wooden framework on which persons are executed by hanging.
hideout noun	/ˈhaɪdˌaʊt/	A place to hide.
inconvenient adjective	/ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/	not convenient
pronoun noun	/ˈpɹoʊ.naʊn/	A part of speech that refers anaphorically to a noun or noun phrase, which cannot ordinarily be preceded by a determiner and rarely takes an attributive…

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
jump out verb	To emerge suddenly.
put out verb	To blind (eyes).
tie up verb	To secure with rope, string, etc.
turn out verb	To end up; to result.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

You can't hide him nowhere.
Have you heard a tall dude whisper?
Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?
You know what I mean?
He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	Have you heard · has squirted · have tracked
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	be dehydrated · was invented · was stolen

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 73 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, gonna. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, militia /məˈlɪʃə/
Long words — get the stress right: apocalypse /əˈpɑkəlɪps/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, temerity /təˈmɛɹ.ə.ti/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, irresponsible /ˌɪɹ.əˈspɑn.sə.bəl/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like apocalypse, squirt, whisper.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - Learn English Speaking with Video

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