Shadowing Practice: How to Survive the Apocalypse | Kiry Shabazz | Stand Up Comedy - Learn English Speaking with Video

I'm on day two of Ozimbik.

I'm on day two of Ozimbik, and my confidence is already through the roof.

This fat girl tried to talk to me.

I was like, uh-uh, not no more, bitch.

Them days are over.

This your lady?

Not in a month.

She coming with me.

Matter of fact, all you dudes in here, you got one month left with your girl. So, she choosing.

With my new body now, I'm not a comedian no more.

So, unfortunately, I don't have jokes tonight.

I came here to prepare y'all for the inevitable apocalypse.

Y'all realize that, right?

The world's ending.

Some of y'all out here still dating and moving like there's a country left.

It's over.

Stop, if you a couple tonight, you don't got to do it now, but at some point on the way home, look at the person you went and be like, can I survive the apocalypse with them?

And if the answer is no, get rid of them.

No hard feelings.

Y'all can make it a couple's activity.

Gift them with a crossbow and wish them well, but you gotta survive this thing.

There's some single people in here too.

Look, ladies, tall men, I know y'all love them, useless in the apocalypse.

You can't do nothing with a tall man in the apocalypse.

You can't hide him nowhere.

Y'all trying to hide from the drones.

This big dummy making eye contact with him.

Like, nigga Duck, what are you doing?

Tall dudes can't even whisper.

Have you heard a tall dude whisper?

There goes our cover.

Great.

Ladies, you need a short king that can burrow.

Short kings in the house.

You need a short man that can get low in a pinch.

He could do a surprise attack.

A soldier stops you.

He's searching through your bug out bag.

Guess who in there?

Your short king.

Jumps out like a Pokemon.

Stabs him in arteries.

What do you need?

Your tall king gonna get separated.

They gonna take your tall man.

They gonna take him to labor camp.

He gonna have to join the militia.

Your short game coming with you, women and children.

He coming, right?

Put a little propeller hat on him, he good to go.

Write this one, young man, you're good.

Ladies, y'all gonna need them short kings.

And it's not just the women, fellas, it's us too.

There's no use for a freak in the apocalypse.

This girl's telling me she has squirted her.

Bitch, that is irresponsible.

Resources are scarce.

and you have the temerity to squirt on night?

We gotta hike tomorrow, you gonna be dehydrated.

Don't look at my canteen, I'm not sharing.

You need to treat your pussy like a camel's hump and preserve the Lord's liquids, all right?

What is it?

Is it pee?

It's sustenance, and we might...

We might need it.

Put out a fire, you never know.

That shit don't even sound sexy in Apocalypse, do it?

Pussy stay wet, pussy stay dripping.

Great, now the hounds have tracked us, great.

Great.

Left a trail right to the hideout.

It's bad, I'm telling you.

Red flags won't be red flags in the apocalypse.

The things we don't like now are gonna be valuable assets in the end times, right?

My homie told me I was gonna break up with his girl because she's a stalker.

I'm like, not in the apocalypse, that bitch is a tracker.

You might need your crazy acts.

You out forging in the woods, you slip and get lost in the cave.

What's that movie, 127 Hours?

Guess we're gonna find you, your crazy girl.

Especially if she think you're in a cave with that bitch.

She on her way.

Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?

Fuck my boundaries and come find me.

I'm gonna need that shit, man.

I'm telling you.

Ladies, stop.

Let it go.

You look too pretty for the apocalypse.

I'm gonna be real.

You too high maintenance.

Ladies, let yourself go, all right?

Let that gallus on the back of your foot grow.

You might need it to cut rope.

You don't know...

Somebody got you bound and tied up, like, babe, give me your foot.

Too superficial.

Last one.

100

Man, I'm telling you, ladies, I know y'all love big dicks, but micropenis...

101

Nah, I'm just kidding.

102

You don't need it.

103

Micropenises is how we got into this mess in the first place.

104

One very particular micropenis...

105

Some say the best.

106

I'm not gonna survive the apocalypse, so I'm dating for what I need right now in this immediate moment.

107

I'm on the apps looking for a Filipino nurse.

108

Male or female, I don't...

109

As long as your pronouns are in, we good to go.

110

What you identify?

111

Can you check vitals?

112

Because my healthcare, man, they're playing with my healthcare.

113

Try to get Adderall.

114

Well, I could never really get Adderall.

115

For those who don't know, Adderall's a pill that was invented so that white students can compete with Asians.

116

It's a fact, yeah.

117

And because of that, they don't really like to give it to black people. So...

118

I'm glad y'all found that shit funny.

119

It's very inconvenient.

120

I want Adderall.

121

I got to meet a kid named Cooper at a middle school.

122

It's not...

123

Met up with Cooper, he was saying, because his parents...

124

He was worried one of his parents get deported.

125

I thought he was white.

126

Turns out he's Waysian.

127

I don't know if y'all know what Waysian is.

128

It's half white, half Asian, so...

129

He technically is Adderall.

130

He don't need it.

131

You know what I mean? But...

132

I felt bad man because right now immigration all the shit going on in this country man is

133

that ice shit is evil I don't care what side you want

134

if you can't see with your own eyes ice is evil

135

something is truly wrong with you like look I support look

136

I'm never down no for real I'm not doing it for

137

class man that's how I truly feel especially here in California right we targeted Mexicans

138

and Latinos this is native indigenous land that was stolen from people Texas Arizona, all of that.

139

You take DeLynn and deny them access to it.

140

I don't know if you guys know this, but Chicago has a large, thriving Mexican community.

141

And when I found that out, I was like, all right, now that's trespassing.

142

That's...

143

Now, hold on now.

144

You had to pass several states to get to that shit.

145

Mexicans in Chirac?

146

Snow Mexicans?

147

And I'm sorry if that's racist.

148

If it is, pull me aside.

149

Let's have a dialogue, but...

150

The snow is robbing you of a rich Latino.

151

You can't jump on a bouncy house in the blizzard.

152

Like, what?

153

Do I think every Mexican immigrant here is a criminal?

154

No. Do I think everyone in Chicago is?

155

You're goddamn right.

156

I don't...

157

Trust white people from Chicago.

158

Listen, you don't need me to know that you don't belong in Chicago.

159

The city itself, the way it spells, C-H-I-C-A-G-O.

160

Chica, go.

161

Get the fuck out.

162

All this stuff, man.

163

This country is just mad right now.

164

Everybody was tripping about Bad Bunny, right, about his halftime performance because it wasn't in English.

165

That was a very beautiful performance, and I was real.

166

I was on his side.

167

I didn't think he should perform an English performance in Spanish because as a performer who travels around a lot

168

and speaks in English, there's always a confused white man with a confused look on his face.

169

Like he can't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth.

170

There's one here tonight, and you're being very polite about it.

171

You're being very polite, but you haven't heard anything I've said all night.

172

All he's heard was, Shabbataboo-bop-blah!

173

We're gonna live on a boat!

174

Zattery!

175

Blow them tickets for Pat Pies, niggas!

176

He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

177

He was like, I think I saw Lizzo.

178

I don't know.

179

She had a new song about squirting in the apocalypse.

180

I've been Kari Shabazz.

181

Y'all been great.

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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección

Esta lección de conversación de nivel B2 se basa en el vídeo “How to Survive the Apocalypse”. Las palabras que más se repiten: apocalypse, tall, ladies. Este vídeo tiene 181 frases y 1384 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 10:12. El hablante mantiene un ritmo constante de unas 136 palabras por minuto, cómodo para el shadowing. Solo el 80 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés, por lo que el vocabulario es exigente.

Vocabulario clave de este vídeo

Las 15 palabras más avanzadas del vídeo, con su pronunciación y significado:

Palabra	Pronunciación	Significado
apocalypse sustantivo	/əˈpɑkəlɪps/	apocalipsis
squirt verbo	/skwɝt/	chorrear
polite adjetivo	/pəˈlaɪt/	cortés, educado
boundary sustantivo	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	linde, lindero
bouncy adjetivo	/ˈbaʊnsi/	rebotador, elástico
burrow sustantivo	/ˈbʌɹoʊ/	madriguera, ratonera
canteen sustantivo	/kænˈtin/	cantimplora
crossbow sustantivo	/ˈkɹɒsbəʊ/	ballesta
dehydrate verbo	/diːhaɪˈdɹeɪt/	deshidratar
deport verbo	/dɪˈpɔɹt/	deportar
gallows sustantivo	/ˈɡæloʊz/	horca, patíbulo
hideout sustantivo	/ˈhaɪdˌaʊt/	guarida, escondrijo
inconvenient adjetivo	/ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/	inconveniente
pronoun sustantivo	/ˈpɹoʊ.naʊn/	pronombre
propeller sustantivo	/pɹəˈpɛl.ə/	propulsor, hélice

Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar

Palabra	Significado
put out verbo	sacar
tie up verbo	apersogar
turn out verbo	resultar

Frases que vale la pena repetir

Frases cortas y completas del vídeo que puedes reutilizar en la conversación diaria:

You can't hide him nowhere.
Have you heard a tall dude whisper?
Your healthy girl gonna respect your boundaries, all right?
You know what I mean?
He's gonna be like, what did you do last night?

Gramática en este vídeo

Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:

Estructura	En el vídeo
Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora	Have you heard · has squirted · have tracked
Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace	be dehydrated · was invented · was stolen

Pronunciación a tener en cuenta

El hablante usa 73 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, I'm, gonna. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.

Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, militia /məˈlɪʃə/
Palabras largas — cuida el acento: apocalypse /əˈpɑkəlɪps/, inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, temerity /təˈmɛɹ.ə.ti/, superficial /ˌsupɚˈfɪʃəl/, irresponsible /ˌɪɹ.əˈspɑn.sə.bəl/

Sonidos difíciles para hispanohablantes:

s + consonante al inicio — sin añadir una “e” delante: squirt /skwɝt/, stalker /ˈstɔːkə(ɹ)/, scarce /ˈskɛɚs/, stab /stæb/
/v/ — no es /b/: los dientes tocan el labio inferior: inconvenient /ˌɪn.kənˈviːni.ənt/, invent /ɪnˈvɛnt/, thrive /θɹajv/, inevitable /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/, preserve /pɹəˈzɝv/
/z/ — sonora, no /s/: gallows /ˈɡæloʊz/, blizzard /ˈblɪz.ɚd/, preserve /pɹəˈzɝv/

Cómo practicar con este vídeo

Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
Haz shadowing frase por frase a velocidad normal, repitiendo cada una hasta que tu ritmo coincida con el del hablante.
Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como apocalypse, squirt, polite.

¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?

Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.

Técnica de shadowing: lee la guía completa paso a paso →

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