쉐도잉 연습: The 4 Regrets Every Human Has (And How To Avoid Them) - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
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Regret.
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It's one of our most common emotions, but also one of our most misunderstood.
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We think that the path to a good life is to ignore our regrets, to always look forward and never look back, to always be positive and never be negative.
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And that is a mistake.
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We have a rich body of science telling us that if we approach our regrets in the right way, we can enlist them to work smarter, and live better.
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In this video, I'm going to show you the four universal regrets that people all over the world have.
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And I'm going to show you how to learn from them.
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A few years ago, I created something called the World Regret Project, where I asked people all over the world to share with me one of their big regrets.
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We now have a database of more than 26 ,000 regrets from people in 134 countries.
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And what's amazing about these regrets is that around the world, people seem to have the same four core regrets.
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First category, Foundation regrets.
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These are small decisions that people make early in life, no single one of which is deadly or cataclysmic, but they'd accumulate to negative consequences later on.
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Classic example: I spent too much and saved too little, and now I'm broke.
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Foundation regrets sound like this: If only I'd done the work.
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Second category: Boldness regrets.
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You're at a juncture in your life.
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You have two choices: You can play it safe, or you can take the chance.
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and overwhelmingly People regret not taking the chance.
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And it doesn't matter what the domain of life is.
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It could be asking somebody out on a date.
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It could be starting a business.
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It could be traveling.
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What sticks with us over time are the inactions, the lack of boldness.
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Boldness regrets sound like this: "If only I'd taken the chance."
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regret doing the wrong thing because most of us are good
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and most of us want to be good it could be
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bullying it could be extramarital affairs it could be lying
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when we do the wrong thing it sticks with us moral regrets if only i'd done the right thing
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Final category, connection regrets.
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These are about relationships and not only about romantic relationships but about the full suite of relationships in our lives.
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You have a relationship that was intact or should have been intact, but it comes apart.
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and it often comes apart in deeply undramatic ways.
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It doesn't explode, It just drifts apart.
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You want to reach out, but you don't because it's going to be awkward.
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You want to reach out, but you think the other side's not going to care.
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So you wait, and the drift widens.
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Almost always a mistake.
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Connection regrets sound like this: "If only I'd reached out." So around the world, people have the same four core regrets, foundation regrets.
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If only I'd done the work.
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Boldness regrets.
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If only I'd taken the chance.
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Moral regrets.
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If only I'd done the right thing.
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And connection regrets.
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If only I'd reached out.
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These regrets are instructive.
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And one of the things I learned as a researcher is that when people tell you what they regret the most, they're telling you what they value the most.
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And these four universal regrets are telling you, telling all of us, what we value in life.
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They're giving us the path to a good life.
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Let's go to another area here.
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What do you do with your regrets?
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All of us have regrets.
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How do you turn them into an engine of progress?
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I have a three -step process for doing that.
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The three -step process is this.
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Inward, outward, forward.
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First step when you have a regret is how you treat yourself.
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When we make mistakes, when we have screw -ups, when we have regrets, the way we talk to ourselves is cruel.
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We think that being that mean -spirited toward ourselves is going to improve our performance, and that's not true.
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So the first step in dealing with a regret is to treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt.
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Don't treat yourself better than anybody else.
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but don't treat yourself worse than anybody else.
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A lot of the times the way we talk to ourselves, we would never talk to anybody else that way.
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Recognize that your regrets are part of the human condition, and recognize that your regret is a moment in your life not the full measure of your life.
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Step two: outward.
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There is a strong argument in the research for writing about your regret, talking about your regret.
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We fear that if we talk about our regrets with other people, or we talk about our mistakes or setbacks, that people will think less of us.
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But there's some very good evidence that's wrong, that people often think more of us.
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They admire our courage, they admire our candor.
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So that's one reason to talk about your regrets, to write about your regrets.
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The other reason is that when we express our regrets, it's shoulder.
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A final reason that this outward expression of regrets is valuable is that negative emotions are blobby, they're amorphous.
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They sit up there like a vapor.
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When you write about your regret or talk about your regret, you take this vaporous, abstract thing and you turn it into concrete words that's less menacing.
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So, final step: forward.
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How do you use your regret to move forward?
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You have to be very systematic and explicit about this.
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Think about your regret and ask yourself these two questions: What lesson is this teaching me
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and what am I going to do next?
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Extract a lesson from the regret and then take that lesson and say, what is my next move going to be?
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When we do that, this negative emotion can be a positive force, because looking backward can move us forward.
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문맥 속의 문법 및 표현
- “If only I’d done the work.” - 이 문장은 후회를 표현하는 데 있어 자주 사용되는 구조입니다. 가정법 과거 완료를 사용해 과거의 선택을 아쉬워할 때 사용합니다.
- “If only I’d taken the chance.” - 이 문장 역시 후회의 감정을 드러냅니다. ‘기회를 잡았다면’이라는 표현은 보다 판단력 있고 적극적인 삶을 살 것을 제안합니다.
- “If only I’d reached out.” - 관계의 소중함을 강조하는 표현으로, 소중한 사람에게 다가가지 못한 것을 후회하는 맥락에서 사용됩니다.
- “I regret not taking the chance.” - 과거의 선택에 대한 후회를 직접적으로 표현할 때 유용한 문장입니다.
이러한 문장 구조는 shadowing site에서 연습함으로써 더 자연스럽게 사용할 수 있습니다.
일반적인 발음 유의 사항
비디오에서 다음의 단어와 표현들은 발음하기 어려울 수 있습니다:
- “regret” - 이 단어는 주로 강세가 두 번째 음절에 와서 '리그렛'으로 발음해야 합니다.
- “foundation” - '펀데이션'이라고 발음하지 말고 '파운데이션'에 가까운 발음을 연습해 보세요.
- “boldness” - '볼드니스' 보다는 '볼드니스'에 강세를 두어 자연스럽게 발음해야 합니다.
이 비디오에서 제시된 내용을 shadow speech로 연습하면서 발음을 개선할 수 있습니다.
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