Shadowing Practice: The 4 Regrets Every Human Has (And How To Avoid Them) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Regret.
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It's one of our most common emotions, but also one of our most misunderstood.
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We think that the path to a good life is to ignore our regrets, to always look forward and never look back, to always be positive and never be negative.
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And that is a mistake.
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We have a rich body of science telling us that if we approach our regrets in the right way, we can enlist them to work smarter, and live better.
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In this video, I'm going to show you the four universal regrets that people all over the world have.
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And I'm going to show you how to learn from them.
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A few years ago, I created something called the World Regret Project, where I asked people all over the world to share with me one of their big regrets.
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We now have a database of more than 26 ,000 regrets from people in 134 countries.
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And what's amazing about these regrets is that around the world, people seem to have the same four core regrets.
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First category, Foundation regrets.
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These are small decisions that people make early in life, no single one of which is deadly or cataclysmic, but they'd accumulate to negative consequences later on.
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Classic example: I spent too much and saved too little, and now I'm broke.
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Foundation regrets sound like this: If only I'd done the work.
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Second category: Boldness regrets.
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You're at a juncture in your life.
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You have two choices: You can play it safe, or you can take the chance.
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and overwhelmingly People regret not taking the chance.
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And it doesn't matter what the domain of life is.
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It could be asking somebody out on a date.
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It could be starting a business.
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It could be traveling.
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What sticks with us over time are the inactions, the lack of boldness.
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Boldness regrets sound like this: "If only I'd taken the chance."
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regret doing the wrong thing because most of us are good
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and most of us want to be good it could be
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bullying it could be extramarital affairs it could be lying
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when we do the wrong thing it sticks with us moral regrets if only i'd done the right thing
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Final category, connection regrets.
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These are about relationships and not only about romantic relationships but about the full suite of relationships in our lives.
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You have a relationship that was intact or should have been intact, but it comes apart.
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and it often comes apart in deeply undramatic ways.
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It doesn't explode, It just drifts apart.
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You want to reach out, but you don't because it's going to be awkward.
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You want to reach out, but you think the other side's not going to care.
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So you wait, and the drift widens.
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Almost always a mistake.
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Connection regrets sound like this: "If only I'd reached out." So around the world, people have the same four core regrets, foundation regrets.
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If only I'd done the work.
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Boldness regrets.
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If only I'd taken the chance.
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Moral regrets.
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If only I'd done the right thing.
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And connection regrets.
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If only I'd reached out.
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These regrets are instructive.
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And one of the things I learned as a researcher is that when people tell you what they regret the most, they're telling you what they value the most.
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And these four universal regrets are telling you, telling all of us, what we value in life.
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They're giving us the path to a good life.
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Let's go to another area here.
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What do you do with your regrets?
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All of us have regrets.
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How do you turn them into an engine of progress?
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I have a three -step process for doing that.
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The three -step process is this.
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Inward, outward, forward.
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First step when you have a regret is how you treat yourself.
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When we make mistakes, when we have screw -ups, when we have regrets, the way we talk to ourselves is cruel.
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We think that being that mean -spirited toward ourselves is going to improve our performance, and that's not true.
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So the first step in dealing with a regret is to treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt.
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Don't treat yourself better than anybody else.
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but don't treat yourself worse than anybody else.
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A lot of the times the way we talk to ourselves, we would never talk to anybody else that way.
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Recognize that your regrets are part of the human condition, and recognize that your regret is a moment in your life not the full measure of your life.
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Step two: outward.
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There is a strong argument in the research for writing about your regret, talking about your regret.
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We fear that if we talk about our regrets with other people, or we talk about our mistakes or setbacks, that people will think less of us.
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But there's some very good evidence that's wrong, that people often think more of us.
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They admire our courage, they admire our candor.
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So that's one reason to talk about your regrets, to write about your regrets.
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The other reason is that when we express our regrets, it's shoulder.
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A final reason that this outward expression of regrets is valuable is that negative emotions are blobby, they're amorphous.
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They sit up there like a vapor.
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When you write about your regret or talk about your regret, you take this vaporous, abstract thing and you turn it into concrete words that's less menacing.
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So, final step: forward.
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How do you use your regret to move forward?
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You have to be very systematic and explicit about this.
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Think about your regret and ask yourself these two questions: What lesson is this teaching me
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and what am I going to do next?
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Extract a lesson from the regret and then take that lesson and say, what is my next move going to be?
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When we do that, this negative emotion can be a positive force, because looking backward can move us forward.
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will explore the theme of regret through the lens of a thought-provoking video that discusses the four universal regrets people experience. You will practice your listening and speaking skills by engaging with key concepts and vocabulary from the video transcript. This session aims to enhance your understanding of emotions associated with regrets while providing opportunities to improve your pronunciation and fluency through the shadowing technique. By the end of this lesson, you will not only grasp the content but also be able to articulate your thoughts on the subject more confidently.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Regret - A feeling of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or been done.
- Foundation regrets - Decisions made early in life that lead to negative consequences later.
- Boldness regrets - Feelings of remorse regarding opportunities not taken.
- Moral regrets - Regrets related to ethical decisions and actions taken.
- Connection regrets - Regrets stemming from relationships that drift apart over time.
- If only - A common phrase used to express regret or longing for a different outcome.
- Enlist - To engage or enlist help, often used in the context of making emotions work for you.
- Inaction - The lack of action when a decision or opportunity is presented.
Practice Tips
Utilizing the shadow speech method can significantly enhance your learning experience with the material from the video. Here are some tailored advice for implementing the shadowing technique effectively:
- Start Slowly: Begin by replaying sections of the video at a slower speed. Focus on mimicking the speaker's tone and pronunciation as you repeat the phrases.
- Listen for Emotion: Pay attention to how the speaker conveys the emotions linked to regret. Try to infuse your shadowing with similar feelings to add depth to your practice.
- Break It Down: Divide the transcript into smaller parts, practicing each segment independently before combining them into longer phrases. This technique will enhance your comprehension and memory.
- Use Recording: Record yourself as you shadow the speaker. Listening to your recordings will help you identify areas for improvement in pronunciation and fluency.
- Discuss as You Shadow: As you become more comfortable, try to discuss your own thoughts on regrets while using the vocabulary learned. This practice not only reinforces your shadow speak but also builds conversational skills.
By using these tips, you can enhance your English speaking abilities while reflecting on universal themes present in our lives. Embrace the power of shadowspeak to express your insights on regret and growth.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.