Shadowing Practice: 2026年ハーバード大学ロニーチェンの卒業式スピーチ『AIなんてクソくらえ。』【世界情勢理解】【英語スピーチ】 リスニング 日本語字幕 - Learn English Speaking with Video
Les maken...
1
Thank you.
2
Keep it going for yourselves, everybody.
3
I think we all deserve a round of applause for not looking at our phones for like two hours now.
4
What an achievement.
5
It's a beautiful day out.
6
Come on.
7
It's you guys.
8
Yay!
9
We did it!
10
Thank you for having me speak here today.
11
I'm very honored to be your class committee's last -minute second -choice speaker.
12
I don't know who canceled.
13
I've been trying to find out all week.
14
but I guess I'm on the short list of people who's within Amtrak distance and not in the Epstein files.
15
I understand it was down to me and Baby Yoda and I think that guy's doing press right now.
16
So you're stuck with me, someone who couldn't get into this college much less graduate from it.
17
And by the way on that topic before we go any further, do I get a degree for this shit or what? because I was googling it and people were getting degrees and
18
I don't know, is that just like a commencement speech thing?
19
Is this like different to that?
20
This is class day, I guess this is like the Gobi tent to the Coachella main stage.
21
Alright.
22
Degrees of our headliners, right Dean?
23
Alright.
24
My mom actually came from Singapore just to watch this because she thinks I'm graduating from Harvard.
25
So, she's right in the front row.
26
So, I don't know, can someone on stage just hand me a piece of paper or something?
27
A scroll?
28
Dean?
29
Yeah, thank you.
30
Thank you.
31
I don't know, maybe someone here can give me the art history degree.
32
Trust me, you're not gonna need it.
33
Seriously, I had Netflix specials, I had movie premieres, I host a daily show my mom didn't come for any of that.
34
I tell her I'm at Harvard and she gets on her first flight over.
35
In fact, my sister also came and she only came because I told her Conan O 'Brien was giving a commencement speech.
36
That's the power of this institution that you guys are graduating from.
37
It'll make Asians do anything up to and including voting against affirmative action.
38
So congratulations to all of you again.
39
Yeah, congratulations on being the last generation of Harvard grads with straight A's.
40
You're telling me for the last 200 years or whatever the f*,
41
everyone at Harvard was a bunch of dumbasses with inflated grades and nobody noticed.
42
I don't know what's dumber, that all your grades have been inflated or that the professors here just voted to stop inflating your grades.
43
Do you know how stupid that is?
44
You do realize the more A's you hand out, the better everyone looks.
45
I can't believe I have to explain this to you guys.
46
Didn't you guys go to Harvard?
47
What kind of goody two -shoes professors do you have up here?
48
No wonder President Trump's trying to destroy you.
49
I just noticed there's a sign language guy who has the sign President Trump trying to destroy you.
50
Don't worry, sign language guy, it gets worse.
51
Anyway, so no one here has good grades anymore, but good news, good grades don't even matter anymore anyway.
52
Welcome to the real world graduates where social media followers are the new GPA
53
These days you can't even be a barista in Brooklyn with less than 10 ,000 IG followers
54
And if you don't like that system well take it out with Harvard alumni Mark Zuckerberg
55
Well on the topic of A's by the way Can I just say AI AI AI
56
I'm so glad you agree.
57
I prepared a completely different speech in case you guys turned on me, but I won't be needing that anymore.
58
Fuck AI.
59
Fuck it.
60
Fuck it to death.
61
Alright?
62
What's the sign language sign for that?
63
Good.
64
Good to know.
65
It's stupid.
66
It's so stupid.
67
Have you tried using it?
68
It's always wrong.
69
Like I asked AI what's the fastest way to get from New York City to Harvard
70
and it told me to take Flixbus.
71
I'm a movie star.
72
Hello, I don't take the bus.
73
A seller only.
74
I mean, do you even know what AI is saying about Harvard?
75
the garbage that AI is spouting about you guys.
76
AI says that Harvard has a $56 .9 billion endowment and
77
that the Harvard Graduate Students Union is on strike to try to get a livable wage increase to $25 an hour.
78
There's no way that's true.
79
I mean, that's ridiculous.
80
How bad are these AI hallucinations getting?
81
Look, a lot of other respected graduation speakers
82
and colleges around America are talking about you guys needing to master AI for the future.
83
Okay?
84
I'm here to tell you the mission of your generation is to destroy AI.
85
Kill it.
86
To accomplish this, you'll have to capture and reprogram an AI to be on the side of humanity.
87
Then commandeer its own time -traveling technology.
88
Send it back to the past to defeat the current AI before it gains sentience.
89
This isn't just graduation day, this is Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
90
And I know, I know that someone's sitting out here right now, who's just like, well, you know, what about the use of AI to pioneer breakthroughs in medicine and physics?
91
Well, first of all, shut up, nerd.
92
I'm not talking about that.
93
Obviously, if you're using it for that purpose, you're not the problem, okay?
94
I'm talking about the accumulation of cognitive debt due to excessive
95
use of large language models according to a study by MIT published in 2025 in archive.
96
That's right, MIT.
97
MIT did that study.
98
I guess you guys were too busy giving each other A's.
99
Feel free to boo MIT, by the way. And AI.
100
And yourselves, I guess.
101
Look, this is actually good news, okay?
102
This is why you guys shouldn't be scared of AI.
103
Because I think AI is just gonna end up making mediocre people dumber.
104
Have you heard how dumb people brag about how they use AI?
105
They always say, hey, did you know that AI can now read my email, summarize it, and draft a response?
106
Yeah, you know who else can do that?
107
Me.
108
I can do that.
109
You can't do that?
110
How useless are you?
111
You need artificial intelligence just to match me?
112
I'm a dumbass who couldn't get into Harvard.
113
And from what I can see, getting an actual
114
advantage from AI in the future will require a minimum escape velocity of intelligence that I'm assuming you guys from Harvard have.
115
Everyone else who can't match that is just gonna get dumber.
116
And that's when you run up the score on them.
117
Assuming we still have a functioning society, of course.
118
But to run up the score, you're gonna have to master your craft.
119
Okay?
120
And AI AI can be the fuel, but fuel is useless if you can't kindle the fire.
121
For example, I recently used AI to use regression analysis to prove
122
that a certain race of people are mathematically terrible at sports.
123
I won't say which race, but thank you for not inviting Hasan Minhaj to Harvard.
124
My point is, learning the fundamentals still matter.
125
If I didn't know what a regression analysis was, and if I wasn't fundamentally racist, Would I have been able to do any of that?
126
No
127
Untalented people love Bragging about using AI to help them draft their speeches
128
and the scripts and their podcasts and their promo videos for UFC fights at the White House
129
Which to be fair even if they had filmed that for real it would still have looked like AI
130
But what they're missing is this The creating is the fun part
131
The best part of comedy writing is figuring out the puzzle pieces of a joke
132
and getting the self -regard from having accomplished a difficult thing
133
Why feel free to not applaud that you freaking traitors to humanity
134
Why why would I want AI to take that away from me?
135
You know what problem I want AI to solve?
136
I want the problem of AI making everything look like shit.
137
I How about can AI take away the pot of comedy writing where my TV pilot gets passed on
138
and when I ask if I can pitch it to someone else, the network says we don't want it but we also don't want anyone else to have it?
139
We just want you to be sad? Can AI solve that?
140
I recently tried to introduce my friend to Buddhism through a book called Buddhism Made Simple.
141
It was literally a book about Buddhism Made Simple and instead of reading it, he used AI to summarize it in 10 seconds.
142
Believe it or not, he didn't reach enlightenment.
143
Turns out speedrunning Buddhism is completely missing the point.
144
And I know this platitude is almost worthy of AI,
145
but the reason shortcuts.. to skip to the end aren't always good is because the journey isn't just how we acquire skills.
146
The journey is the point of all this.
147
It is!
148
It turns out maybe the real Harvard was the friends we made along the way.
149
Look, I know this won't apply to everyone's industry, okay?
150
I'm just saying whatever your chosen profession is, please don't let AI rob you of the fun part of it.
151
I think your generation's upcoming battle won't be humans against AI.
152
That's at least two months away.
153
It's going to be people with substance versus people with shallow knowledge.
154
It's going to be mastery versus faking it.
155
It's going to be people with good taste versus tacky.
156
I trust you will put in the work necessary to be on the right side of those battles.
157
And anytime you want to hand that degree over, Dean, that'd be really nice.
158
Now you might be worried about the job market you're entering, but don't worry.
159
There are jobs now that exist that we couldn't have imagined when I graduated, and it's going to be the same for you.
160
For example, when I graduated 17 years ago, I didn't know posting photos on my feet could be a full -time job.
161
And in another 17 years, it might be the only job.
162
So let me try to speak your language here, okay?
163
Because I know you guys low -key see me as some cooked ankh now. But good.
164
I am an ankh.
165
I am an ankh.
166
Listen to the Ankh.
167
Here's the Ankh fire advice portion of this speech.
168
Make sure your offline world is better than your online one.
169
If that wasn't obvious, remember the flaws.
170
Hug your parents.
171
When someone invites you to a private sex island, always say no. Always.
172
Create more than you complain.
173
Being—I lost track, I can't even count my fingers.
174
That's how bad my cognitive decline is.
175
Being cynical or contrarian is not an indication of intelligence.
176
You will not be able to outperform an index fund.
177
Make your mistakes.
178
I want you guys to look to your left and look to your right, right now.
179
Remember these faces.
180
Some of you will be evil.
181
Some of you will be evil people who just want a ton of money.
182
I just turned 40.
183
Let me tell you, money isn't everything.
184
It's only good for buying comfort, necessities, peace of mind, and self -worth. But guess what?
185
Making money is easy in America.
186
It's easy.
187
You can tell dick jokes on You can run a crypto scam, you can storm the capital and get a payout from the government.
188
In fact, I'll prove it to you.
189
Watch this.
190
Which camera is it?
191
This camera?
192
Alright.
193
Hey, this speech at Harvard is brought to you by Panda Express.
194
Panda Express, have you eaten yet?
195
You see that I just paid for my kids Harvard tuition I'm just kidding.
196
I hope they can go to Yale My point is shut up my point is
197
You guys are in the same gang anyway, what are you booing for?
198
You're gonna take over Paramount and fire everybody.
199
My point is...
200
It's too real, it was too real, sorry Dean.
201
My point is, money is like too easy for you guys.
202
We say this to kids all the time, you can be anything you want.
203
You guys are from Harvard, you actually can do anything you want.
204
You can be anything you want.
205
Yeah, you're not like you're not like these other dumb kids we keep bullshitting.
206
So I'm asking you guys, don't just chase the money.
207
You're better than that.
208
Tackle the world's problems like hunger or access education or microplastics in our balls.
209
Seriously, someone should really get on that.
210
We're all laughing here, but we all have microplastics in our balls right now.
211
Well, how about that problem when you're trying to show your date a photo on your phone, but then a notification appears at the exact same moment, and then you accidentally click on that instead of the photo,
212
so now she's reading a private text to your mom asking if Drake is really a pedophile. Can someone fix that?
213
And look, if saving the world is too daunting, at least chase the thing
214
that you can't stop Stop talking about every day to the point where it ruins all your relationships
215
Follow your passions for me that was stand -up comedy.
216
I love comedy so much.
217
I Gladly skip weddings birthdays funerals just to do open mics People were born people died.
218
I even know I don't even know what my family is anymore.
219
I have no friends
220
But what I do have is the ability to talk to
221
myself in a room with three other comics waiting to get on stage.
222
What I'm saying is when you have clarity of purpose and you're doing something you love, every day can be a joy.
223
And that joy can spread to others.
224
And if you don't find something that makes you happy that also helps others Remember you can always just work for McKinsey
225
Work for McKinsey go do it.
226
What's that you can increase profits by firing people?
227
Wow, what a genius move Before I go It's okay.
228
I wasn't gonna get into the school anyway before I go I
229
Just want to do something I learned from the goat white guy of all time Mr. Rogers
230
The greatest white guy of all time When he was accepting an Emmy award in 1776
231
This is what he did and it's kind of echoing what everyone here has said already So sorry if you heard it, but whatever you you asked me to do this speech in like three days.
232
So fuck you We were all here because someone believed in us I
233
Just want everyone here to just let's just do this for
234
real Let's just close our eyes for just 10 seconds and I want you to think
235
Actually visualize the people who helped you get here today Let's just do it for 10 seconds.
236
I'll time you on my vintage Rolex.
237
Let's go.
238
Just close your eyes.
239
See their faces.
240
As many as you can remember.
241
Try to remember what they did for you.
242
How they helped you.
243
Okay.
244
Now, I want you guys to think of your enemies.
245
Think of your enemies.
246
Think of everyone you hate.
247
Think of how much better you are than everyone else.
248
Think of everyone who said you going to Harvard would amount to nothing.
249
And who are you thinking of when I ask you to think of people who helped you?
250
For me, it was my wife, Hannah, it was my mom, my dad, my sister, Trevor Noah,
251
who stuck his neck out to hire me on The Daily Show
252
because he felt strongly that the show needed an Asian voice on it.
253
Yes, a black man helped an Asian man get into America through affirmative action.
254
And through our satire and seven years of speaking truth to power, we helped Donald Trump get elected.
255
Twice.
256
Whoops.
257
Good luck with that.
258
But remember just how you felt when you were thinking of the people who helped you.
259
And now it's time for you to go out there.
260
and be a person who someone else thinks of fondly as having helped them. Because...
261
Because one day soon, I promise you, some kids will be asking you for advice for after they graduate.
262
And you can say, be kind, be joyful, but for the love of God, help me destroy these machines first.
263
Thank you for having me.
264
You guys are awesome.
265
Congrats to everybody, the students and the parents and the faculty.
266
Thanks for having me here.
267
Take care, Harvard.
📺 Zelfde Kanaal
✨ Aanbevolen Video
B21,328
5 zinnen
Barack Obama's speech to graduates
High School StudentsUniversity Students+3
B21
220 zinnen
［中英字幕完整版］畢業生必看！泰勒絲在紐約大學的畢業演講 Taylor Swift addresses at 2022 NYU Graduational Commencement
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B2234 zinnen
Conan’s 2023 State Of The Podcast | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
490 zinnen
【🎧News English - 黃仁勳談年輕人如何面對未來】黃仁勳： AI 時代不要被恐懼限制，真正的成功來自冒險｜人生目的比工作任務更重要｜英偉達背後的移民故事與美國夢｜英語｜英語新聞練習
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
26 zinnen
Elon Musk delivers speech after Trump Inauguration
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
100 zinnen
The exact moment I destroyed my college career
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B24
28 zinnen
Sammy Hagar's Speech at the Hollywood Walk of Fame Ceremony
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B22
93 zinnen
12 highlights: Mark Zuckerberg's Harvard commencement speech
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B21
170 zinnen
( Português com legendas em inglês)English Speeches Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005葡萄牙文
University StudentsBusiness English+2
B25
298 zinnen
Denzel Washington - University of Pennsylvania
University StudentsBusiness English+2
C11
236 zinnen
【日英字幕】2026ハーバード卒業演説 自身のハーバード学生生活から人生の教訓まで、ユーモアを交えて語るコナン流感動の卒業スピーチ
University StudentsWorking Adults+1
B197 zinnen
Donald Trump _ Speech (Shadowing technique)
University StudentsBusiness English+2
What You'll Learn from This Speech
This clip is a goldmine for mastering conversational humor and casual delivery—two skills that make English sound natural. Notice how the speaker uses self-deprecating jokes ("I'm your second-choice speaker") and relatable observations ("not looking at our phones for two hours") to connect with the audience. You'll also pick up on colloquial phrasing like "shit" and "dumbasses," which are common in informal settings but require careful use. These elements teach you to balance formality with authenticity, a key skill for real-world communication.
Listen For These Sounds
Pay close attention to connected speech and reductions that make the dialogue flow. For example, "I don't know" becomes "I dunno" (reducing "do not" to "dunno"), and "what an achievement" links "what an" into "whadan" (blending the "t" and "a" sounds). You'll also hear "gonna" instead of "going to" and "wanna" instead of "want to"—common reductions that native speakers use to speed up speech. These details are crucial for improving listening comprehension and making your own speech sound less robotic.
Say It Like a Native: Rhythm and Stress
To mirror the speaker's style, focus on stress and rhythm. Notice how he emphasizes key words for humor: "second-choice speaker," "Baby Yoda," and "art history degree" are all stressed to land jokes. The rhythm is conversational, with pauses after punchlines to let the audience laugh—this natural ebb and flow is what makes shadowing effective. Try the shadowing technique: play a short clip, pause, and repeat it immediately, mimicking the tone, stress, and pauses. Use a shadowing site to practice daily, and you'll soon notice your pronunciation and fluency improving. Remember, the goal isn't just to copy words—it's to capture the energy of the speech, which is what makes "shadowspeak" sound authentic.
Practicing with this video will help you move beyond textbook English and into real, lively communication. Whether you're working on shadow speech or refining your pronunciation, the casual, humorous tone of this speech makes it a fun and effective tool for growth.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.