跟讀練習: 2026年ハーバード大学ロニーチェンの卒業式スピーチ『AIなんてクソくらえ。』【世界情勢理解】【英語スピーチ】 リスニング 日本語字幕 - 通過影片學習英語口語
選擇練習模式
每種模式都會開啟全屏練習室。
267 句
如果句子過短或過長，請點選 Edit 進行調整。
1
Thank you.
2
Keep it going for yourselves, everybody.
3
I think we all deserve a round of applause for not looking at our phones for like two hours now.
4
What an achievement.
5
It's a beautiful day out.
6
Come on.
7
It's you guys.
8
Yay!
9
We did it!
10
Thank you for having me speak here today.
11
I'm very honored to be your class committee's last -minute second -choice speaker.
12
I don't know who canceled.
13
I've been trying to find out all week.
14
but I guess I'm on the short list of people who's within Amtrak distance and not in the Epstein files.
15
I understand it was down to me and Baby Yoda and I think that guy's doing press right now.
16
So you're stuck with me, someone who couldn't get into this college much less graduate from it.
17
And by the way on that topic before we go any further, do I get a degree for this shit or what? because I was googling it and people were getting degrees and
18
I don't know, is that just like a commencement speech thing?
19
Is this like different to that?
20
This is class day, I guess this is like the Gobi tent to the Coachella main stage.
21
Alright.
22
Degrees of our headliners, right Dean?
23
Alright.
24
My mom actually came from Singapore just to watch this because she thinks I'm graduating from Harvard.
25
So, she's right in the front row.
26
So, I don't know, can someone on stage just hand me a piece of paper or something?
27
A scroll?
28
Dean?
29
Yeah, thank you.
30
Thank you.
31
I don't know, maybe someone here can give me the art history degree.
32
Trust me, you're not gonna need it.
33
Seriously, I had Netflix specials, I had movie premieres, I host a daily show my mom didn't come for any of that.
34
I tell her I'm at Harvard and she gets on her first flight over.
35
In fact, my sister also came and she only came because I told her Conan O 'Brien was giving a commencement speech.
36
That's the power of this institution that you guys are graduating from.
37
It'll make Asians do anything up to and including voting against affirmative action.
38
So congratulations to all of you again.
39
Yeah, congratulations on being the last generation of Harvard grads with straight A's.
40
You're telling me for the last 200 years or whatever the f*,
41
everyone at Harvard was a bunch of dumbasses with inflated grades and nobody noticed.
42
I don't know what's dumber, that all your grades have been inflated or that the professors here just voted to stop inflating your grades.
43
Do you know how stupid that is?
44
You do realize the more A's you hand out, the better everyone looks.
45
I can't believe I have to explain this to you guys.
46
Didn't you guys go to Harvard?
47
What kind of goody two -shoes professors do you have up here?
48
No wonder President Trump's trying to destroy you.
49
I just noticed there's a sign language guy who has the sign President Trump trying to destroy you.
50
Don't worry, sign language guy, it gets worse.
51
Anyway, so no one here has good grades anymore, but good news, good grades don't even matter anymore anyway.
52
Welcome to the real world graduates where social media followers are the new GPA
53
These days you can't even be a barista in Brooklyn with less than 10 ,000 IG followers
54
And if you don't like that system well take it out with Harvard alumni Mark Zuckerberg
55
Well on the topic of A's by the way Can I just say AI AI AI
56
I'm so glad you agree.
57
I prepared a completely different speech in case you guys turned on me, but I won't be needing that anymore.
58
Fuck AI.
59
Fuck it.
60
Fuck it to death.
61
Alright?
62
What's the sign language sign for that?
63
Good.
64
Good to know.
65
It's stupid.
66
It's so stupid.
67
Have you tried using it?
68
It's always wrong.
69
Like I asked AI what's the fastest way to get from New York City to Harvard
70
and it told me to take Flixbus.
71
I'm a movie star.
72
Hello, I don't take the bus.
73
A seller only.
74
I mean, do you even know what AI is saying about Harvard?
75
the garbage that AI is spouting about you guys.
76
AI says that Harvard has a $56 .9 billion endowment and
77
that the Harvard Graduate Students Union is on strike to try to get a livable wage increase to $25 an hour.
78
There's no way that's true.
79
I mean, that's ridiculous.
80
How bad are these AI hallucinations getting?
81
Look, a lot of other respected graduation speakers
82
and colleges around America are talking about you guys needing to master AI for the future.
83
Okay?
84
I'm here to tell you the mission of your generation is to destroy AI.
85
Kill it.
86
To accomplish this, you'll have to capture and reprogram an AI to be on the side of humanity.
87
Then commandeer its own time -traveling technology.
88
Send it back to the past to defeat the current AI before it gains sentience.
89
This isn't just graduation day, this is Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
90
And I know, I know that someone's sitting out here right now, who's just like, well, you know, what about the use of AI to pioneer breakthroughs in medicine and physics?
91
Well, first of all, shut up, nerd.
92
I'm not talking about that.
93
Obviously, if you're using it for that purpose, you're not the problem, okay?
94
I'm talking about the accumulation of cognitive debt due to excessive
95
use of large language models according to a study by MIT published in 2025 in archive.
96
That's right, MIT.
97
MIT did that study.
98
I guess you guys were too busy giving each other A's.
99
Feel free to boo MIT, by the way. And AI.
100
And yourselves, I guess.
101
Look, this is actually good news, okay?
102
This is why you guys shouldn't be scared of AI.
103
Because I think AI is just gonna end up making mediocre people dumber.
104
Have you heard how dumb people brag about how they use AI?
105
They always say, hey, did you know that AI can now read my email, summarize it, and draft a response?
106
Yeah, you know who else can do that?
107
Me.
108
I can do that.
109
You can't do that?
110
How useless are you?
111
You need artificial intelligence just to match me?
112
I'm a dumbass who couldn't get into Harvard.
113
And from what I can see, getting an actual
114
advantage from AI in the future will require a minimum escape velocity of intelligence that I'm assuming you guys from Harvard have.
115
Everyone else who can't match that is just gonna get dumber.
116
And that's when you run up the score on them.
117
Assuming we still have a functioning society, of course.
118
But to run up the score, you're gonna have to master your craft.
119
Okay?
120
And AI AI can be the fuel, but fuel is useless if you can't kindle the fire.
121
For example, I recently used AI to use regression analysis to prove
122
that a certain race of people are mathematically terrible at sports.
123
I won't say which race, but thank you for not inviting Hasan Minhaj to Harvard.
124
My point is, learning the fundamentals still matter.
125
If I didn't know what a regression analysis was, and if I wasn't fundamentally racist, Would I have been able to do any of that?
126
No
127
Untalented people love Bragging about using AI to help them draft their speeches
128
and the scripts and their podcasts and their promo videos for UFC fights at the White House
129
Which to be fair even if they had filmed that for real it would still have looked like AI
130
But what they're missing is this The creating is the fun part
131
The best part of comedy writing is figuring out the puzzle pieces of a joke
132
and getting the self -regard from having accomplished a difficult thing
133
Why feel free to not applaud that you freaking traitors to humanity
134
Why why would I want AI to take that away from me?
135
You know what problem I want AI to solve?
136
I want the problem of AI making everything look like shit.
137
I How about can AI take away the pot of comedy writing where my TV pilot gets passed on
138
and when I ask if I can pitch it to someone else, the network says we don't want it but we also don't want anyone else to have it?
139
We just want you to be sad? Can AI solve that?
140
I recently tried to introduce my friend to Buddhism through a book called Buddhism Made Simple.
141
It was literally a book about Buddhism Made Simple and instead of reading it, he used AI to summarize it in 10 seconds.
142
Believe it or not, he didn't reach enlightenment.
143
Turns out speedrunning Buddhism is completely missing the point.
144
And I know this platitude is almost worthy of AI,
145
but the reason shortcuts.. to skip to the end aren't always good is because the journey isn't just how we acquire skills.
146
The journey is the point of all this.
147
It is!
148
It turns out maybe the real Harvard was the friends we made along the way.
149
Look, I know this won't apply to everyone's industry, okay?
150
I'm just saying whatever your chosen profession is, please don't let AI rob you of the fun part of it.
151
I think your generation's upcoming battle won't be humans against AI.
152
That's at least two months away.
153
It's going to be people with substance versus people with shallow knowledge.
154
It's going to be mastery versus faking it.
155
It's going to be people with good taste versus tacky.
156
I trust you will put in the work necessary to be on the right side of those battles.
157
And anytime you want to hand that degree over, Dean, that'd be really nice.
158
Now you might be worried about the job market you're entering, but don't worry.
159
There are jobs now that exist that we couldn't have imagined when I graduated, and it's going to be the same for you.
160
For example, when I graduated 17 years ago, I didn't know posting photos on my feet could be a full -time job.
161
And in another 17 years, it might be the only job.
162
So let me try to speak your language here, okay?
163
Because I know you guys low -key see me as some cooked ankh now. But good.
164
I am an ankh.
165
I am an ankh.
166
Listen to the Ankh.
167
Here's the Ankh fire advice portion of this speech.
168
Make sure your offline world is better than your online one.
169
If that wasn't obvious, remember the flaws.
170
Hug your parents.
171
When someone invites you to a private sex island, always say no. Always.
172
Create more than you complain.
173
Being—I lost track, I can't even count my fingers.
174
That's how bad my cognitive decline is.
175
Being cynical or contrarian is not an indication of intelligence.
176
You will not be able to outperform an index fund.
177
Make your mistakes.
178
I want you guys to look to your left and look to your right, right now.
179
Remember these faces.
180
Some of you will be evil.
181
Some of you will be evil people who just want a ton of money.
182
I just turned 40.
183
Let me tell you, money isn't everything.
184
It's only good for buying comfort, necessities, peace of mind, and self -worth. But guess what?
185
Making money is easy in America.
186
It's easy.
187
You can tell dick jokes on You can run a crypto scam, you can storm the capital and get a payout from the government.
188
In fact, I'll prove it to you.
189
Watch this.
190
Which camera is it?
191
This camera?
192
Alright.
193
Hey, this speech at Harvard is brought to you by Panda Express.
194
Panda Express, have you eaten yet?
195
You see that I just paid for my kids Harvard tuition I'm just kidding.
196
I hope they can go to Yale My point is shut up my point is
197
You guys are in the same gang anyway, what are you booing for?
198
You're gonna take over Paramount and fire everybody.
199
My point is...
200
It's too real, it was too real, sorry Dean.
201
My point is, money is like too easy for you guys.
202
We say this to kids all the time, you can be anything you want.
203
You guys are from Harvard, you actually can do anything you want.
204
You can be anything you want.
205
Yeah, you're not like you're not like these other dumb kids we keep bullshitting.
206
So I'm asking you guys, don't just chase the money.
207
You're better than that.
208
Tackle the world's problems like hunger or access education or microplastics in our balls.
209
Seriously, someone should really get on that.
210
We're all laughing here, but we all have microplastics in our balls right now.
211
Well, how about that problem when you're trying to show your date a photo on your phone, but then a notification appears at the exact same moment, and then you accidentally click on that instead of the photo,
212
so now she's reading a private text to your mom asking if Drake is really a pedophile. Can someone fix that?
213
And look, if saving the world is too daunting, at least chase the thing
214
that you can't stop Stop talking about every day to the point where it ruins all your relationships
215
Follow your passions for me that was stand -up comedy.
216
I love comedy so much.
217
I Gladly skip weddings birthdays funerals just to do open mics People were born people died.
218
I even know I don't even know what my family is anymore.
219
I have no friends
220
But what I do have is the ability to talk to
221
myself in a room with three other comics waiting to get on stage.
222
What I'm saying is when you have clarity of purpose and you're doing something you love, every day can be a joy.
223
And that joy can spread to others.
224
And if you don't find something that makes you happy that also helps others Remember you can always just work for McKinsey
225
Work for McKinsey go do it.
226
What's that you can increase profits by firing people?
227
Wow, what a genius move Before I go It's okay.
228
I wasn't gonna get into the school anyway before I go I
229
Just want to do something I learned from the goat white guy of all time Mr. Rogers
230
The greatest white guy of all time When he was accepting an Emmy award in 1776
231
This is what he did and it's kind of echoing what everyone here has said already So sorry if you heard it, but whatever you you asked me to do this speech in like three days.
232
So fuck you We were all here because someone believed in us I
233
Just want everyone here to just let's just do this for
234
real Let's just close our eyes for just 10 seconds and I want you to think
235
Actually visualize the people who helped you get here today Let's just do it for 10 seconds.
236
I'll time you on my vintage Rolex.
237
Let's go.
238
Just close your eyes.
239
See their faces.
240
As many as you can remember.
241
Try to remember what they did for you.
242
How they helped you.
243
Okay.
244
Now, I want you guys to think of your enemies.
245
Think of your enemies.
246
Think of everyone you hate.
247
Think of how much better you are than everyone else.
248
Think of everyone who said you going to Harvard would amount to nothing.
249
And who are you thinking of when I ask you to think of people who helped you?
250
For me, it was my wife, Hannah, it was my mom, my dad, my sister, Trevor Noah,
251
who stuck his neck out to hire me on The Daily Show
252
because he felt strongly that the show needed an Asian voice on it.
253
Yes, a black man helped an Asian man get into America through affirmative action.
254
And through our satire and seven years of speaking truth to power, we helped Donald Trump get elected.
255
Twice.
256
Whoops.
257
Good luck with that.
258
But remember just how you felt when you were thinking of the people who helped you.
259
And now it's time for you to go out there.
260
and be a person who someone else thinks of fondly as having helped them. Because...
261
Because one day soon, I promise you, some kids will be asking you for advice for after they graduate.
262
And you can say, be kind, be joyful, but for the love of God, help me destroy these machines first.
263
Thank you for having me.
264
You guys are awesome.
265
Congrats to everybody, the students and the parents and the faculty.
266
Thanks for having me here.
267
Take care, Harvard.
同頻道
FOR YOU
推薦影片
C11
236 句
【日英字幕】2026ハーバード卒業演説 自身のハーバード学生生活から人生の教訓まで、ユーモアを交えて語るコナン流感動の卒業スピーチ
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
177 句
Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1264 句
Full Speech Jim Carrey's Commencement Address at the 2014 MUM Graduation
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
220 句
［中英字幕完整版］畢業生必看！泰勒絲在紐約大學的畢業演講 Taylor Swift addresses at 2022 NYU Graduational Commencement
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
546 句
Do Elite Degrees Still Matter In The AI Era? | Jamie Beaton from Crimson Education | EP 410
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
260 句
【TED】優れたリーダーはどうやって行動を促すか/サイモン・シネック （日本語字幕）
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B214
22 句
Sheldon’s Funeral Speech for His Dad | Young Sheldon
American AccentDaily ConversationHigh School StudentsUniversity Students
B21
158 句
Trump Talks S**t at the U.N., Rebrands AI as "Superintelligence" & Praises Mamdani | The Daily Show
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
227 句
Bill Gates Harvard Commencement Address 2007
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C11
708 句
實戰練英文 | NVIDIA 黃仁勳榮獲2025霍金獎，分享AI革命與創業心路；AI將改變所有的工作，讓你重回工作重點；想成功，一定要告訴自已這句話 | 劍橋大學演講 | 長文、註解、大字版、中英對照
Daily ConversationUniversity Students
C15
57 句
rory's graduation speech
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
56 句
Dwight's Big Speech! - The Office US
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
本節課學習內容
這節課我們將通過觀看哈佛大學畢業生演講影片來練習英語口語。影片中演講者語言幽默、節奏明快，非常適合鍛鍊聽力理解和口語表達能力。我們會學習其中的實用詞彙、模仿演講者的語氣和節奏，通過shadow speech（影子跟讀法）提升口語流暢度。跟著影片學英語，既能瞭解西方文化，又能高效提高英語水平。
核心詞彙與短語
- round of applause：一陣掌聲。演講中常用的表達，可用於鼓勵或感謝他人。
- last - minute：最後一刻的。如“last - minute second - choice speaker”指“最後一刻的備選演講者”。
- inflated grades：注水成績。形容成績被人為提高，是很生動的表達。
- goody two - shoes：老好人，過於正直的人。帶有調侃意味，可用於日常對話。
- commencement speech：畢業典禮演講。是英語演講中的常見型別。
練習技巧
影片中演講者語速較快，且伴有大量口語化表達，非常適合shadowspeaks練習。建議先完整觀看一遍影片，熟悉內容和節奏；然後逐句暫停，模仿發音和語調，尤其注意連讀和弱讀（如“it's a”“you guys”）；最後嘗試跟影片同步朗讀，儘可能跟上演講者的速度。練習時可以錄音對比，找出差距。堅持用這種方法練習，不僅能提高英語發音，還能增強口語的自然感和流暢度。相信你一定能在輕鬆的氛圍中提升口語水平！
影片中的語法
說話人最常用的結構，並附上影片中的原話：
| 結構 | 影片中的用法 |
|---|---|
| 定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物 | someone who couldn · guy who has · people who just |
| 現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事 | have been inflated · Have you tried · Have you heard |
| 被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼，而不是誰做的 | have been inflated · is brought · is shut |
什麼是跟讀法？
跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧，最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓，並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大：您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同，跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性，語調，節奏，連讀，聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。