跟讀練習: 【日英字幕】2026ハーバード卒業演説 自身のハーバード学生生活から人生の教訓まで、ユーモアを交えて語るコナン流感動の卒業スピーチ - 通過影片學習英語口語
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236 句
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1
Let us welcome Dr. Conan O 'Brien.
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Welcome trustees, deans, faculty, alumni, graduates, families, my fellow honorands,
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Justice Department spies, and that Uber Eats driver delivering mimosas.
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As I look upon this gathering of tomorrow's greatest minds, I'm confident saying there is no less flattering outfit than the cap and gown.
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We all look like the potions professor at Hogwarts.
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Up here on stage, it feels like an AA meeting for druids.
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I want to thank President Garber for his incredible stewardship of this graduating class.
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Fantastic job, sir.
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Really nice.
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Really nice.
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Normally, I would give you an A -plus, but in keeping with upcoming Harvard policy, I'm adjusting your grade to a C -minus.
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Trust me, it's for the good of the school.
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I will keep my remarks brief, because MIT's graduation is also today, and I want to give you a 15 -minute head start on your job hunt.
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Those nerds down the river won't know what hit them.
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Also, just a quick announcement after the ceremony, tequila shots are on me at the Porcellian Club.
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Yeah, yeah.
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You're all invited, just force your way inside and tell them Conan sent you.
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They're an understanding bunch.
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As we gather here today at this beautiful tercentenary theater, I am struck by one thought.
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Only someone from Harvard would call this patch of grass, a tercentenary theatre.
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Just look at this yard, Percival, tis a veritable tercentenary theatre.
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Harvard, why use a $5 word when a $50 word will do?
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It's really nice to be back at the very last place I used the word querulous in a sentence.
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Standing right over there by Widener, I asked someone, what does querulous mean?
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Fortunately, they knew the answer because it was a Yale student.
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Man, they're good.
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Oh, please!
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Please!
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Let us not denigrate our fellow Ivies.
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Let's admit that all seven are worthy institutions.
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Except for Princeton, Listen, those people are absolute tools.
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What the hell is going on over there?
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As I stand here, I'm flooded with so many rich memories of this campus and especially of my dear, beloved, Mather House.
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Yeah, that's enough.
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Mather was named after former Harvard president Increase Mather, who was an infamous figure in the Salem witch trials.
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And if any of you spent more than an hour in Mather House,
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you know the witches got the last laugh it's such an ugly building okay I'm sorry
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tear it down start again all right here we go of course we all make jokes about our school
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but Harvard is still our nation's oldest and most renowned seat of higher learning
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and today you are the 375th graduating class yes
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did you know that the first graduating class in 1642 had only nine students yeah
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and somehow even they were all legacies that's hard to do
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no university in our nation has produced more Nobel laureates or white -collar criminals.
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So whether you choose good or evil, know that you are among the very best.
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Harvard is indeed an impressive place.
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Today, this university honors 13 esteemed colleges, and I salute all of you, each and every one.
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Now, of course, don't push it.
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Of course, this includes the Harvard School of Dental Medicine, yes, yeah.
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And let me tell you something, when Harvard dentists say you may rinse and spit, they say it in Latin.
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I wasn't gonna do that joke, but the dental school People said they'd give me free veneers if I gave them a shout out.
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No I take my assignment today seriously
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and in preparation for this speech I asked the provost office for intel on all your concerns.
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And I was told the following.
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You're obsessed with doing laundry now that it's free.
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You bemoan the lack of fresh berries.
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You're upset that not all the dining halls have hot breakfast.
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yeah and you are alarmed you're alarmed
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that the Kennedy School has stopped providing complimentary coffee yeah
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if these are indeed your concerns you sicken me
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but half those complaints are things you'd hear from a brown bear more berries
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Before I continue, there is one thing I must acknowledge.
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For your entire academic lives, you have been lectured to by lots and lots of old white men.
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And now, when you are minutes from getting out the door, Harvard is saying, not so fast.
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We found one more.
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He graduated 41 years ago, and he's not just white, but shockingly white.
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Indirect sunlight, you can see his bones.
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Well, I may be old and white, but let me assure you, I still fit in seamlessly with the long list of Nobel laureates,
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heads of state, and civil rights activists who have given this commencement address.
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Now, sure, they did great things, but only I play a talking,
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potty -training gadget named Smarty Pants in the upcoming Toy Story 5 in theaters everywhere on June 19th.
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Did Winston Churchill do that?
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He did not.
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Former German Chancellor Angela Merkel?
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Well, she did audition but testing showed she frightened children.
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Yes I graduated 40 years ago but I promise you your lives here were no different than mine was in 1981.
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Like you I too had to put an extra long cord on my dorm phone
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so I could cook my lean cuisine while talking to my friends about Mr. T.
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Like you I know the pain of losing my place on the Ms. Pac -Man leaderboard
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because I was too busy buying an erase cartridge for my
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smith corona typewriter yes we are all bound by these ancient
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common truths now of course i understand the unprecedented difficulties you
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face today including ai yeah i know i know luckily ai
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is not a problem at harvard here professors have been able
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to quickly flag students use of ai thanks to the sophisticated
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ai software they use to grade papers it all works out yeah
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and don't worry despite your fears trust me
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when i say ai cannot replace you yes yes yes it'll
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be too busy replacing those creeps from princeton anyway of course perhaps the biggest issue facing this institution is
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that the federal government of the united states is suing our university yeah
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many people think i've come today to defend harvard well sorry those people are wrong
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not only am i not against these lawsuits i'm here to announce that i'm joining them
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i too am suing harvard i'm suing harvard for the cast iron bunk bed
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that greeted me upon my arrival at Hallworthy 16 my freshman year a bed
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that has since been confiscated by The Hague as an instrument of divine cruelty.
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I'm suing Harvard for allowing me to sign up for a 9 a .m class at the Science Center
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and a 10 a .m.
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class down at Soldiers Field.
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For God's sakes I was a child.
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I'm suing Harvard for my
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less than spectacular undergraduate sex life for me having a
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three -way man adding a second mirror to my dorm i'm suing harvard
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because once i had to listen to the harvard crocodillos do
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an eight -minute rendition of splish splash i was taking a bath my god each one took a solo
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and And it was awful.
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And finally, I'm suing Harvard because, and this is absolutely true, in the spring of my sophomore year, while trying to grab a quick lunch at Adam's house,
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I was served a meal, I was served a meal called Captain Ben's fish spaghetti.
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To this day, I have no idea who Captain Ben is or why someone would combine government issue cod with spaghetti me.
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Harvard, I'll see your ass in court.
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Yes, I'm confident that my claims will have more merit than those filed by the President of the United States.
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Yes.
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As you are aware, the current administration feels Harvard admits too many foreign students, and who knows, they may have a point.
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After all, what has any foreigner ever added to our American culture?
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With the possible exception of music, literature, art, cuisine, fashion, architecture,
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dance, scientific breakthroughs, and the core of our moral codes and ethical beliefs.
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Seriously.
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Seriously, if foreigners hadn't gummed up the works, right now we'd all be listening to delightful Calvinist reggae,
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eating savory Church of England ziti, and dancing the forbidden bedridden and sexually charged Lutheran Lombada.
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But let me assure you, I did not come here simply to toss off some jokes about my alma mater.
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I mean, that was the main reason.
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But I really do, really do love this school.
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It changed my life.
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The day I told my bedridden grandmother, a woman who had never had the opportunity to go to college, that I had been accepted to Harvard,
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and seeing her weep is one of the happiest days of my life.
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Of course, it turned out I was sitting on her leg, but I knew in addition to the pain, she felt real joy.
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And I felt joy as well, especially when I sat here at my commencement in 1985.
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I understand, I really understand how much hard work it took for all of you to get to this point
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and you should feel enormous pride just as I did
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on my commencement day I was content if my Harvard degree was the first thing people knew about me
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but what I have found after all these years is that I am fine with Harvard being the last thing
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anyone knows about me this is not a diss on this institution in any way i just believe that status
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even when it's hard one can be double -edged
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when i started my career hosting a late night talk show
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there was no internet the only thing the media knew about conan o 'brien
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was that he went to harvard that association may have been fine if i were a burgeoning
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philosopher or physicist but for a comedian
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that was a death knell people thought the name of my
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show would be late night with he thinks he's better than you
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which I would have gone with
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but it didn't fit on the shirt all these years later
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Harvard is far far from the very first thing people think of when they hear my name.
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I have made 10 ,000 hours of content and none of it screams Ivy League education.
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That's right, I'm the man who went on Hot Ones and rubbed hot sauce on my nipples.
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I shopped for weed with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube.
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I got drunk in an American Girl doll store.
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I've done many things no man should do And all of this was before I became a Pixar potty training toy.
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Now, some of you may think, well, that's comedy, Conan.
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How does that apply to me?
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And to you, I say, how dare you interrupt?
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I'm giving a commencement address.
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Yes, my challenges were unique to me.
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But I found that any single achievement,
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like a Harvard diploma, becomes less important to me in all the very best ways when I embrace certain principles.
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The first is that I endeavor to always remind myself that I have done absolutely nothing alone own.
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Walt Whitman wrote, I contain multitudes.
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Well, I contain a breakfast sandwich and an iced coffee from Tate,
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but whatever I have achieved has been with the help of an infinitely packed clown car of multitudes.
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If I could invite everybody, alive or dead, who has contributed to my being your commencement speaker today,
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all of Cambridge and half of Alston would be crammed shoulder -to -shoulder with friends, family, well -wishers, writers, producers,
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haters, fans, and a billion chance encounters.
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Recognizing that my accomplishments are not just my own has given me much -needed balance throughout my life
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and it really helps to spread the blame around when things go south.
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Another thing I learned to do that has saved me repeatedly is to pivot.
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I have I have had to course correct
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so many times in my career that my path is a crazed tangles of zigs and zags.
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I famously lost a job that meant the world to me, and then years later, I saw the entire format of late -night television,
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something that I had dedicated my career to, start to evaporate.
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So at the suggestion of a very smart friend, I started a podcast.
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I actually had disdain for the project until, with the help of guests, collaborators, and an assistant addicted to gummies,
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I made something I love just as much, if not more, than my late night show.
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I have had to pivot like this so many times that I've come to really love pivoting.
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And I use the word pivot much more than I should in conversation and commencement speeches.
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And now I pivot to my next truth.
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I always recognize the enormous role of luck in my life.
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Refusing to see how luck has played a role in anyone's success is simply ignorant.
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Many people are happy to mistake a lucky poker hand for their own brilliance, and fighting that human instinct has kept me sane.
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I honestly believe that community, spontaneity, and a real commitment to humility has helped me build a rich life
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that means much more to me than any diploma.
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And believe me, I'm not saying the goal is to renounce accomplishments, but rather to metabolize them.
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If you carry your victories lightly, other qualities, kindness, originality, courage,
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humor, and humanity have room to emerge.
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Maybe, maybe, maybe the greatest lessons I've learned along these lines have been through my 24 travel shows.
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I have degraded myself in Cuba, Ghana, Korea, Armenia, half of Europe,
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Argentina, Thailand, Mexico, and Greenland where I visited a real estate office and tried to buy the country.
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When I travel to another land, every quality I have discussed,
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community, adaptation, and a sincerely humble approach are all necessary.
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When you don't speak the language, no one truly cares where you went to college and you have no choice but to make friends.
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It's on these travels that I learned a great lesson, let yourself be bad at things.
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I have been a bad dancer in every country I have visited,
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but the people laugh because it turns out everyone everywhere is related to at least one terrible dancer.
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For me, humility on these trips can easily lead to humiliation, which is also a useful tool.
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Three weeks ago, I visited Amsterdam, dressed up as Van Gogh, and forced my way into the Van Gogh Museum,
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where I started loudly demanding a cut of the merchandising because I made no money during my lifetime.
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Guards forcibly ejected me.
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I was roundly mocked by patrons from my pathetic display
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but i did see a lot of smiles and not one person said now that's a harvard grad
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in tokyo i met with a teacher of japanese etiquette who volunteered I wasn't her type.
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And when I asked her why, she just said, face.
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In Ghana, after accepting a royal invitation, I was kicked out of the Ashanti palace by the Queen Mother because her favorite soap opera was starting.
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I understand that I am preaching modesty and connection at a time when this is not in style.
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We are living through a period of extreme narcissism.
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Our current leadership in Washington believes that empathy is a weakness and that our nation stands supreme and alone.
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Add to that, everyone here today has a phone in their pocket
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that is algorithmically programmed to celebrate you and you alone by making you the protein -maxing hero of your own special journey.
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Much has been written about how isolated and siloed we've become, but for me, the antidote is quite simple.
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By de -emphasizing what makes us special, in your case, a prize degree, we can really find one another, not as an exercise in virtue,
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but as a path towards greater laughter, love, and real growth.
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And believe me, I struggle daily with my own pretensions.
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I am aware
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that I am telling you to transcend your glories as I
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stand on this stage accepting a doctorate I didn't really earn while dressed like a 12th century pope.
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big surprise i have a giant ego i mean come on
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the titles of my shows have been a late night with
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conan o 'brien the tonight show with conan o 'brien conan word i think of
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that one conan o 'brien needs a friend
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and conan o 'brien must go i fought like hell to
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have today's ceremony named conan o 'brien presents the harvard commencement starring conan o 'brien yeah Let's get that done.
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So when I realized that my message today would be about the rejection of honor and status, did I consider for a second turning this doctorate down?
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Did I say, no, President Garber, my achievements are not my own.
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I must decline.
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Hell no!
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Not for a second.
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My grandfather, who everyone called Hoofer and who had to drop out of the seventh grade to support his parents, was a traffic cop in Worcester, Massachusetts.
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Yeah, and he had a saying, take what you can get and ask for more.
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Very wise man.
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Hoofer is an essential passenger in my clown car of multitudes.
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And in his honor, I will grab this doctorate and then ask President Garber if there's also a cash component.
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You see, I, like you, am still very much a work in progress,
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but the ideals I stress today have made my life infinitely richer and happier.
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So maybe my wish for you is not that Harvard becomes the last thing people know about you,
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but instead that Harvard becomes the least important thing people know about you.
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Because your real education starts now, with friends you've made and friends you've yet to meet,
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with stunning successes and miserable defeats, and with a humble acceptance that your greatness comes from the mess around you, not despite it.
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From the depths of my heart, I congratulate you, Class of 2026, not for any piece of paper you receive today,
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but because of your hard work, determination, humanity, and the boundless community that you have
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and will create let us all resolve on this great day to go forward together
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and see Toy Story 5 in theaters everywhere June 19th thank you
FOR YOU
推薦影片
本課的詞彙與口語要點
這節 C1 級別的口語課以影片“【日英字幕】2026ハーバード卒業演説 自身のハーバード學生生活から人生の教訓まで、ユーモアを交えて語るコナン流感動の卒業スピーチ”為素材。 這段影片共有 236 個句子、3059 個單詞可供跟讀。 講話部分時長為 24:55。 說話人語速平穩,每分鐘約 123 個詞,很適合跟讀。 只有 76% 的單詞屬於英語最常用的 3,000 詞,詞彙難度較高。
影片中的重點詞彙
影片中最難的 15 個單詞,附發音和釋義:
| 單詞 | 發音 | 釋義 |
|---|---|---|
| commencement 名詞 | /kəˈmɛnsmənt/ | 畢業禮 /畢業禮, 畢業典禮 /畢業典禮 |
| pivot 名詞 | /ˈpɪv.ɪt/ | 樞 /樞, 樞紐 /樞紐 |
| doctorate 名詞 | /ˈdɑk.tɚ.ət/ | 博士 |
| bedridden 形容詞 | /ˈbɛdɹɪdən/ | 臥床不起的 /臥床不起的 |
| dormitory 名詞 | /ˈdɔɹ.mɪˌtɔɹ.i/ | 寢室 /寢室, 宿舍 |
| laureate 名詞 | /ˈlɔ.ɹi.ət/ | 獲獎者 /獲獎者 |
| querulous 形容詞 | /ˈkwɛɹ(j)ʊləs/ | 愛嘮叨 /愛嘮叨 |
| humility 名詞 | /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/ | 謙卑 /謙卑, 謙遜 /謙遜 |
| accomplishment 名詞 | /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/ | 成就, 成果 |
| diploma 名詞 | /dɪˈploʊmə/ | 文憑 /文憑, 證書 /證書 |
| cuisine 名詞 | /kwɪˈziːn/ | 烹飪法 /烹飪法, 餐 |
| clown 名詞 | /ˈklaʊ̯n/ | 小丑 |
| berry 名詞 | /ˈbɛɹi/ | 漿果 /漿果, 莓 |
| dancer 名詞 | /ˈdænsəɹ/ | 舞蹈家, 舞蹈演員 /舞蹈演員 |
| foreigner 名詞 | /ˈfɔɹ.ɪ.nɚ/ | 外國人 /外國人, 外人 |
影片中出現的短語動詞
| 單詞 | 發音 | 釋義 |
|---|---|---|
| turn out 動詞 | 原來 /原來 | |
| work out 動詞 | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | 計算 /計算, 算出 |
值得反覆跟讀的句子
影片中簡短而完整的句子,可以直接用在日常對話裡:
- Trust me, it's for the good of the school.
- Let's admit that all seven are worthy institutions.
- You're obsessed with doing laundry now that it's free.
- How does that apply to me?
- I'm giving a commencement address.
影片中的語法
說話人最常用的結構,並附上影片中的原話:
| 結構 | 影片中的用法 |
|---|---|
| 現在完成時 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去發生但與現在仍有關聯的事 | has produced · has stopped · have been lectured |
| 被動語態 be + 過去分詞 — 強調發生了什麼,而不是誰做的 | was named · was told · are alarmed |
| 定語從句 who / which + 從句 — 補充說明人或事物 | woman who had · man who went · humiliation, which is |
需要注意的發音
說話人用了 43 次縮略和弱讀形式,例如 I'm, I've, you're。請按聽到的簡短形式來說。
- “sh” 和 “zh” 音: accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, assure /əˈʃʊɹ/, splash /splæʃ/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, freshman /ˈfɹɛʃ.mən/
- 長單詞——注意重音位置: dormitory /ˈdɔɹ.mɪˌtɔɹ.i/, infinitely /ˈɪnfɪnɪtli/, humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, accomplishment /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ.mənt/, comedian /kəˈmiː.di.ən/
中文母語者容易讀錯的音:
- /v/ — 不要讀成 /w/,上齒輕觸下唇: pivot /ˈpɪv.ɪt/, virtue /ˈvɝt͡ʃu/
- 詞尾子音 — 要讀清楚,後面不要加母音: commencement /kəˈmɛnsmənt/, pivot /ˈpɪv.ɪt/, doctorate /ˈdɑk.tɚ.ət/, laureate /ˈlɔ.ɹi.ət/, querulous /ˈkwɛɹ(j)ʊləs/
- /r/ 和 /l/ 的區別: laureate /ˈlɔ.ɹi.ət/, querulous /ˈkwɛɹ(j)ʊləs/, sincerely /sɪnˈsɪɹli/, fortunately /ˈfɔɹ.t͡ʃə.nɪt.li/, laundry /ˈlɔːn.dɹi/
如何用這段影片練習
- 先完整聽一遍影片,不要開口,記下不認識的單詞。
- 用正常速度逐句跟讀,每句重複到你的節奏與說話人一致為止。
- 錄下自己的聲音並與原聲對比,特別注意 commencement, pivot, doctorate 這類單詞。
什麼是跟讀法?
跟讀法 (Shadowing) 是一種有科學依據的語言學習技巧,最初開發用於專業口譯員的培訓,並由多語言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。這個方法簡單而強大:您在聽英語母語原聲的同時立即大聲重複——就像是一個延遲1-2秒緊跟說話者的影子。與被動聽力或語法練習不同,跟讀法強迫您的大腦和口腔肌肉同時處理並模模擬實的講話模式。研究表明它能顯著提高發音準確性,語調,節奏,連讀,聽力理解和口語流利度——使其成為雅思口語備考和真實英語交流最有效的方法之一。



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