Shadowing Practice: Self-Esteem: How It Changes And 2 Ways to Boost It - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Hi, I'm Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I make mental health education videos.
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Today I'm talking about self-esteem, how you get it, how it ebbs and flows over the course of your life,
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and what you can do to make it better.
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And this is based on several viewer questions asking me to talk about self-esteem.
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Self-esteem is how you value your self-worth.
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It falls on a spectrum from low to healthy to overinflated.
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With low self-esteem, you can feel worthless, inadequate and non-deserving of happiness.
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With a healthy level of self-esteem you can feel confident and feel like you deserve the things that come to you.
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With an over-inflated level of self-esteem you can feel entitled to the happiness even at the expense of others
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and you can be overly self-promotional and very defensive when you don't get the things that you feel you deserve.
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Positive experiences create healthy self-esteem and negative experiences create low self-esteem.
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It's still unclear exactly how you develop self-esteem, but we do know it's influenced by a combination of factors like your temperament,
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which is your hardwiring, your family environment, relationships, and life experiences.
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You can think of self-esteem as a trait
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that you possess that's part of your makeup and it's influenced by your external environment and can change over time.
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Here's the normal pattern of change in self-esteem across your lifespan.
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As a child, you start out with a very high level of self-esteem, essentially because you don't know any better and everything's positive and fun.
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However, as a child matures, self-esteem declines as you're better able to evaluate yourself against your environment and internalize feedback.
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These experiences shape your self-appraisal and at this stage your self-esteem is relatively unstable,
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meaning it's easily shaped by positive and negative experiences.
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Negative experiences can be from your parents, teachers, or other students.
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Traumatic experiences at this age have a much more significant
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and long-lasting effect on your self-esteem than similar events happening at a later age.
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In adolescence, your self-esteem continues to decline and researchers believe
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that this is related to issues with body image and changes that come with puberty.
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Around this time, you're transitioning from the nurturing elementary school environment to a more challenging middle and high school experience.
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Although the level of your self-esteem drops in adolescence, it becomes more stable, meaning that it's less changeable during this period.
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Another way of putting it is that your view of yourself is very fluid in childhood, but it becomes more solidified in adolescence.
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So if you develop an abnormally low self-esteem beyond the usual dip that you have at this age,
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it's harder for you to recover from that to increase your self-esteem in the adolescent stage.
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It's possible, but it takes more work.
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Self-esteem in adulthood increases gradually over time, peaking in the late 60s.
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And this is thought to be because of changes like establishing a career, developing a mastery over something,
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having a clarity of purpose, and creating a legacy through your family.
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And these are just some examples of achievements you experience over the course of your adulthood that promote feelings of self-worth.
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The stability of your self-esteem rises through young adulthood and then starts to decline as you reach midlife and older age.
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So this just means that how you feel about yourself is pretty stable and consistent in early adulthood, but once you reach midlife,
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the midlife crisis, your self-esteem is is more influenced by changes in your life circumstances.
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Once you get to the 70s and beyond, your self-esteem starts to decline again, and this is probably due to changing life roles like retirement,
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grandchildren, or the lack of children or grandchildren.
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And this is a time that people will reflect on their lives
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and can have a lot of regrets about the choices that they made.
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Health problems and the loss of a spouse all things that can negatively affect your self-esteem at this age.
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But not all people in their 70s and beyond have low self-esteem.
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Some older individuals can still maintain a high level
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or sense of self-worth and just accept their limitations at this stage of their life.
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One of the things about understanding this normal trajectory of self-esteem going up
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and down is that it shows us
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that adolescence is a key time to jump in and rally around youths and do things to bolster their self-esteem.
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Similarly, if you have an elderly relative who recently retired and seems to have lost their way,
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know that it's a good time to offer extra support in the area around helping them feel good about themselves.
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If you struggle with low self-esteem, here are two things that you can do to increase your self-esteem or help someone increase their self-esteem.
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Number one, recognize and utilize your strengths.
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People who recognize their strengths and use them tend to feel better about themselves.
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If your inner dialogue is saying things like, you're unlovable, you're inconsistent, or you don't measure up,
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then you're going to have a hard time recognizing your strengths.
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In fact, oftentimes that kind of negative thinking takes over your thoughts
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and can convince you that you have no strengths or that the strengths that you have are not very meaningful.
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It's important that you not only recognize your strengths, but you put them into action.
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And to recognize your strengths, you can ask yourself questions like, what are you good at?
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What do you enjoy doing?
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What have you done that's been the most successful for you?
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You want to make sure you identify the characteristics or behavior behind the action.
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So for example, you may say that you're good at playing video games, but playing video games is not a strength.
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But what about that makes you good?
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Maybe it's your ability to strategize.
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Maybe you have good hand-eye coordination that makes you very quick and responsive.
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Here's another example.
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Being a good swimmer is not a strength, but the physical agility and discipline it takes to be good at swimming are strengths.
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Another way to identify your strengths is to look at a list of strengths and check them off.
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I have a strengths handout that you can use for that purpose, and you can download it from my website.
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Once you have a list of your strengths,
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the next thing you want to do is develop a plan to use at least one of your strengths every day day.
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So for example, let's say your strength is flexibility.
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You think of yourself as someone who can adapt to change very well.
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A simple plan could be
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that could use your strength could be to leave your Saturday schedule open
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and allow other people to decide how you will spend your day.
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Or let's say your strength is patience.
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Your plan could be to listen to your loved one tell a story for the fifth time without interrupting them
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and you'll even ask follow-up questions to show your interest even
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though you know already know the answers to the questions
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and you're not going to let them know
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that you've already heard this another way to recognize your strengths is to recognize the strengths
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and others you may think
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that focusing on other people's strengths may make you feel bad about what you don't have
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but actually focusing on other people's strengths keeps
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you in the mindset of thinking in terms of strengths instead of being focused on weaknesses.
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Focusing on other people's weaknesses does not improve your self-esteem
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because critical thinking is critical thinking whether you're being judgmental of others
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or yourself so
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if you're stuck in a mindset of being critical
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you will ultimately be more critical of yourself than you are of other people
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but if you set your sights on recognizing the strengths in other people it helps you see your strengths
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so here's an example you notice
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that Susie is very good at multitasking she always seems to be able to finish her work
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and have extra time left over you say I wish I were better at multitasking seeing Susie do it
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so well it just makes me feel bad about myself and
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that can make you feel bad if you only focus on Susie
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but if you pull back and get a broader view you'll notice
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that John is not good at multitasking
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but he's very good at making people feel welcome
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and Nicole has a good eye for detail you start to see that no one is good at everything.
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We all have our strengths and weaknesses and as such, we all have ways that we can use our strengths to contribute to the collective good.
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And the better you get at noticing strengths, the more sensitive you become to noticing your own strengths.
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And recognizing your strengths and positive qualities helps you bolster the value that you give yourself.
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Number two, learn to accept compliments.
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People with low self-esteem have trouble accepting compliments they usually make you feel uncomfortable you tend to downplay them
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or say things to shut down the compliments
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so what you need to do is learn to hear the compliments
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and appreciate them and an easy way to do this is to prepare statements ahead of time
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that you would say in response to the compliments
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it could be as simple as thank you that's kind of you I appreciate you saying
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that tolerating compliments does two things it helps you get used to hearing positive feedback
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and it also helps the person giving you the compliment to feel good about extending kindness to you.
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It's a gift for someone to compliment you
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and it takes a certain level of security on the complimenters
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part to feel good enough about themselves to give you the spotlight.
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Therefore you want to allow
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this other person to show you this kind of generosity your self-assessment is at the heart of your self-esteem
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and even if someone took it away from you
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because of the way they treated you you can take
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it back it's not easy it's a series of small steps
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that add up over time like compounding interest for more on temperament watch
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this video i hope this helps you with self-esteem issues see you next time
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles is gebaseerd op de video “Self-Esteem: How It Changes And 2 Ways to Boost It”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: self, esteem, strength, experience, compliment. Deze video bevat 125 zinnen en 1767 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 10:50. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 163 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 85% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| esteem werkwoord | /ɪˈstiːm/ | achten, waarderen |
| compliment zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkɑmpləmənt/ | compliment |
| decline werkwoord | /dɪˈklaɪn/ | afnemen, terugvallen |
| adulthood zelfstandig naamwoord | volwassenheid | |
| weakness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈwik.nɪs/ | zwakte |
| stable zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈsteɪ.bəl/ | stal, paardenstal |
| happiness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | blijheid, blijdschap |
| feedback zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈfiːdˌbæk/ | terugkoppeling |
| mindset zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentaliteit, ingelsteldheid |
| consistent bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /kənˈsɪs.tənt/ | veel voorkomend, consequent |
| relative zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈɹɛl.ə.tɪv/ | familielid, bloedverwant |
| assessment zelfstandig naamwoord | /əˈsɛsmənt/ | schatting, inschatting |
| establish werkwoord | /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/ | oprichten, stichten |
| sensitive bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/ | gevoelig, prikkelbaar |
| transition zelfstandig naamwoord | /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/ | overgang |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| shut down werkwoord | afsluiten, uitzetten |
| take over werkwoord | overnemen |
Zinnen om te herhalen
Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:
- What do you enjoy doing?
- What have you done that's been the most successful for you?
- Maybe it's your ability to strategize.
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have you done · you've already heard |
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | is based · is thought |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | People who recognize · someone who can |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 18 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals you're, don't, I'm. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, coordination /kəʊˌɔːdɪˈneɪʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, elementary /ˌɛləˈmɛntəɹi/, stability /stəˈbɪlɪti/, similarly /ˈsɪm.ə.lə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: relative /ˈɹɛl.ə.tɪv/, sensitive /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/, defensive /dɪˈfɛn.sɪv/, extend /ɛkˈstɛnd/, collective /kəˈlɛktɪv/
- /æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, feedback /ˈfiːdˌbæk/, establish /ɪˈstæb.lɪʃ/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, rally /ˈɹæli/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: legacy /ˈlɛɡəsi/, regret /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/, dialogue /ˈdaɪəˌlɑɡ/, gradually /ˈɡɹæd͡ʒuəli/, grandchild /ˈɡɹændˌtʃaɪld/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als esteem, compliment, decline.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.