Shadowing Practice: Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you. - Learn English Speaking with Video

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I woke up from a dream this morning about my life going

and ending in a different direction if I would have made choices in the past

that I might have made differently knowing what I know now in hindsight

and I emphasize maybe because

if I were to have made those choices in the past

I wouldn't be who I am now with all the knowledge

and wisdom and etc and

that inspired today's topic where a lot of times we like to put blame

and look at our past selves in a negative connotation because of the information and knowledge that we know now.

We can kind of see things from a grander perspective. And two things.

First, I don't really think that's fair because it's a fallacy.

You don't, sorry, you would never have known what you know now

because what you know now is a direct result of the experiences that made you, the experiences that you went through.

So being that person in the past

and going through all of those quote-unquote mistakes is what made you who you are now.

And no matter if you have a positive or a negative perspective of who you are now,

whatever positives will come as a result of your life will also come as a result of those quote-unquote mistakes.

and number two there's actually no point there's no going back

in time there's no changing the past there's no inserting ourselves

and what we know now into the past to change what we would have done

and I know that you may even know this logically

and still there's a bit of resentment

and anger there for past you for you know quote unquote just do it

that way and it's so obvious and it's so clear to you now, but it's not clear to you.

It wasn't clear to you back then.

So what do we do with this?

What do we do with this entire framework?

How do we recognize the past?

And how do we recognize our negative perspective of it and who we were in the past?

And how do we fuel that into making better and more concise decisions that we will be satisfied with

in the even deeper future.

And I think it comes down to the very same model that I talk about often, and that is fear.

You know, look back at those negative choices that you made or, you know, the perspective you have of those mistakes that you made.

Why did you choose the way you did?

And don't frame it in a way of positive and negative.

Simply put, and be brutally honest.

Why do you think you made the choices that you made?

And of course, the obvious answer is that's what you wanted to do at the time.

That was, you know, the clear thing to do at the time.

But what were the emotions fueling those decisions, even if they were unconscious?

I think a lot of times we can look back

and we can see past us was making decisions in the very same emotions we are trying to conquer now.

but maybe they were unaware of the sort of trap that those emotions had on them.

And again, ask ourselves, why do we want to go back in the past

and change what has occurred and change the mistakes that we made?

What are we seeking from those past experiences?

What are we looking to relive as a result of not making those mistakes?

And whatever it is that we want in the past, why can we not have it right now?

Why can't we not have it in the near future?

What resenting the past version of ourselves does, it does a lot of things, but it does a couple very main things.

And that is, number one,

it sets up the sort of perception that we can't have those things now.

So in a way, when you resent past you for making those mistakes, making those choices, why?

Because if you were satisfied with your life right now, you wouldn't be showing resentment to your past self.

You wouldn't be showing resentment to the past at all.

This all comes back to our current framework of who we believe we are right now.

Because we believe we made those mistakes because we believe that we missed out on certain experiences.

If I would have chose this, then I would have gotten that and that would have been so great.

But we can't change the past.

So what can I do now?

What can I change within myself to open myself to having those things right now or in the near future?

Another brutal truth is that the version of yourself

that you're looking to become doesn't hold anger at the version of you right now.

So for long as you're holding anger at your past self, you can't be that version of you.

Again, we only show resentment and we only sort of ruminate on the past

because we believe we missed out on experiences that we are incapable of recreating now.

And when I mean recreating, I don't mean with the same people.

I don't mean in the same environments.

I mean the same experiences emotionally.

Because that's what it comes down to.

We can categorize certain experiences and scenarios by the way that they impacted us emotionally.

And that's what we're seeking now.

so maybe you're craving that connection that you think

that you missed out on years ago and you're beating yourself up

or rather you're beating past self up your past self up in a sort of rumination perspective way

when in reality you should be working on yourself right now to open

and align yourself with the possibility of experiencing that again becoming a more confident empowered

an anxiety-free version of yourself now

so that it is easier to find that thing that you are now reminiscing and feeling nostalgia upon.

Past you didn't know any better.

And actually, if past you did know better, maybe it would have been for a worse alignment.

Maybe who you are now and the transformation you're undergoing right now is all part of the process.

Maybe you needed to be that person in the past

and maybe you even need to be the person that you are right now

to become the version of yourself that you've been seeking and wishing for all along. And that's the thing.

We have to realize the pointlessness of a lot of the things that we do.

What is the point in holding anger for our past selves?

What is the point in trying to sort of imagine the ways in which a lot of things could have went differently?

What we should do is focus on the now, focus on what is ahead of us.

if we're getting caught up and we're trying to move through all the patterns

and the forest of what could have been we're going to miss the very fact

that by changing our state of being by freeing ourselves emotionally

and mentally now we can experience even better whatever we think

we missed out on whatever we think past us ruined we can experience even better now

use that anger that you feel towards past you and alchemize that into motivation into being free in the present

because what we're seeking isn't in the past what we're seeking

isn't going to be found by analyzing what went wrong it's going to be found in observing

and doing what feels right now And again, we can actually take this back to our very relationship with our thoughts once again.

And that is why are we letting, just because now the storyline that the thoughts are presenting you with is more enticing

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because it's triggering a feeling of what could have been.

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And, you know, that's what I learned.

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And if many of you have experienced this before where you have a dream

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or you have a sort of imagined state where you're just imagining how things could have been.

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it's almost as if we start to experience, I don't know, maybe 3% of what the actual experience might have felt like.

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And we should use that as motivation to experience the actual thing.

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Sometimes we get lost in the imagination of it all.

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We get lost in imagining how different it could have been,

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how amazing it could have been without even realizing that all we have to do is change our state of being, is change our relationship with thoughts,

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is not listen to fear, don't give in to anxiety, feel emotionally free, practice being confident, all of these things, they can lead us to the very thing we want.

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They could lead us to experiencing even better.

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We have to stop looking outside.

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We have to stop looking to the past.

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Look right now inside of yourself.

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What can you do right now to get closer to the very thing in which you seek?

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What can you do that is actionable?

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And what can you do internally that would free you in a way, in an emotional and mental way where that thing is not so difficult to find.

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And don't lie.

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Don't lie to yourself.

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There's no point.

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There's no point in being dishonest with yourself.

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The more brutally honest you could be and the more brutally aware you are of the very things that you're avoiding, the quicker all of this can happen.

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The quicker the transformation can happen, the quicker you can become a version of yourself that is anew.

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And a quick thing, a quick caveat.

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When I say a version of yourself, you're not being or acting like a different person you're you

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if anything you are more you than you've ever been

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because you're not allowing fear anxiety defense mechanisms

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and trauma all these different things to play a factor in the personality system of who you are

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so you're not acting like a different person you're acting like you

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when you walk into a room of crowded people you walk into it with the same confidence you do

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when you're walking into a room with your family or your friends.

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That's what I'm talking about.

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It's not about being someone else.

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It's about being a different state of being, us.

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That was just a quick caveat.

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And yeah, it comes back to our relationship with our thoughts.

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It comes back to just because the thoughts are decorated in a certain way.

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Now they're showing you what could have been years ago.

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That for some reason now we believe that entertaining thoughts is going to be somehow good for us.

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It doesn't make any sense.

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And I truly do think that we can mourn the past while moving forward.

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We can allow nostalgia to exist.

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Nostalgia isn't a bad thing.

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It's a reminder of what we want in life.

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it's a reminder of the happiness we once felt and

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that we're capable of feeling again in different people in different places in different situations

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things flow very easily probably as you remember in the past you didn't have to do much work to meet

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that person you didn't have to do much work to have

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that friend group you didn't have to do much work to enjoy yourself

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but that's the nature of life at first many times

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in our younger years we are handed things you know you

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don't have to go to a great inconvenience to experience the things

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that you want but in that inconvenience in

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that difficulty we find ourselves we find who we truly are

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we aren't our parents kid we aren't our brother's brother our sister's sister we are the very identity

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that we're giving life to and again we have a choice in that identity So when we look to the past,

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when we're holding anger at our past selves for not choosing quote-unquote correctly, we have to realize something much deeper.

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What do we believe we missed out on as a result of those choices?

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And why do we feel as though those opportunities are gone?

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Is it because there's different people in our life now?

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Is it because our environment is different now?

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Accept the cards and now play them differently.

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Play the cards differently.

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Open yourself. Be confident.

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Don't allow this past version of you to convince you that you are still that version of you.

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Because that's what it does.

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When we imagine how good things could have been and we get lost in that sort of imaginative state, we start to detach that from reality.

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But what we really should be doing is detaching from the imagination side of it and saying, okay, reality, I'm going to present you with a confident,

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willing, brave version of me an open-minded version of me, and I'm going to leave the rest to you.

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You start dancing, and the reality and the universe will dance back with you.

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That's how it works, but you have to take the step first.

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You have to go out of your way.

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You have to do what is difficult.

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You have to inconvenience yourself.

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That's the whole point.

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Is walking outside in public with confidence difficult?

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Yes.

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Less difficult for some, more difficult for others, but the answer is yes.

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Is putting yourself out there difficult?

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Yes.

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Same situation, more difficult for others than others.

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Sorry, I don't know why I just said it like that, but you guys get the point.

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So it's not about what we're missing.

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It's about why we believe that we can't experience that same thing that we're missing now.

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And it comes back to our identity and who we believe that we are.

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We miss the past and we miss the certain facilities of the past often

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because we believe that the emotions experienced in those prior relationships, in those prior environments and situations is now gone just because those people or those situations are gone.

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But that's not the case.

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We have to be open to feeling that same happiness, that same enjoyment out of life from different sort of vessels.

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We have to allow environments and people to surprise us.

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We have to allow ourselves to enjoy the company of different people, of different environments, of different situations.

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Open yourself and see that as you open yourself to newness, to the new facet and to the new version of who you're becoming and your newer reality,

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that you will become that person that you've been seeking.

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Because when we hold that anger towards past us, we're still aligning with that version of us.

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A better way to look at it is, everything in the past has happened for a reason to create who you are now.

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You can even say every single moment has led up to you listening to this very word right now.

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And that the actions you take as a result of hearing this, the confidence and the first step you take after hearing this recording,

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everything led to that moment.

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And what's crazy is all we have to do is take that step, is leave our comfort zone, and it makes it all worth it.

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It makes it all worth it.

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all that nostalgia, we are prisoner to it for as long as we decide to be.

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Not because the trap and the cage is real, but because we have suddenly decided

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that who we were in the past

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and the decisions we made in the past are now defining who we are for the rest of our life.

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And that sounds kind of ridiculous and silly, doesn't it?

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To believe that the past

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and the experiences that we once held onto so tightly are the best that there will ever be.

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And I'm going to say this not to scare you, but as a wake-up call that if you allow it to be the best it would ever be, it will be that way.

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Now, at this point in your life, it's going to take initiative.

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It's going to take you stepping out of your shell.

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It won't be easy, but it will be extremely fulfilling.

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That nostalgia that you feel from the past, that was a taste.

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You got that for free.

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You probably didn't have to do too much to earn that.

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When we're young, a lot of things are sort of handed to us.

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A lot of experiences, relationships are handed to us.

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But now as we are older, as we're growing spiritually and psychologically, and even practically in our lives, we're going to have to go about things in a way

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where the things that are happening in our life are a direct result of our choices.

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Separate those two things.

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Think about all the things in your life that happened sort of naturally unfolding.

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You know, maybe even the college you went to, the school you went to, the job you have.

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Maybe even those choices.

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Even though it seemed like a free choice,

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it was relatively influenced very heavily by environment and by a sort of quote-unquote common sense next decision, next step.

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And that's okay.

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Just observe how those things are sort of naturally unfolding choices

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and how many of the choices in your life are a direct result of you going against the grain

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and making a choice solely because that is what you want to do.

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For example, if you take a solo trip to another country

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and then you are sitting in that other country looking at the ocean, that is a direct result of your own free-spirited will and initiative.

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And that's an amazing feeling because we take life into our own hands.

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Maybe that nostalgia, maybe that anger that you feel for past you is

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because you didn't feel as though you had a choice, a real choice, a real say in the matter.

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And what will anger at our past self do?

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Absolutely nothing.

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probably, at best, keep us relatively stagnant, and at worst, keep us suffering and miserable

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and not open to new happiness and new experiences that may be even better than what we experienced before.

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We have to see things from a grander awareness.

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Everything is an invitation to evolve.

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Everything is an invitation and a mirror to look inside of ourselves to influence our reality now.

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That's the whole point.

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That's the grand message that we're being showed.

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Everything you feel is an arrow, is a stop sign saying,

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look within yourself, change the circumstances of your life as a direct result of changing your inner state of being.

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Changing your relationship with fear, changing your relationship with anxiety, all of your emotions and all of your thoughts.

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How much say do you have in your life?

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again when we are satisfied with our lives we don't hold anger at past us

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so if we want to align and we want to become

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that version of ourselves that we're looking to become we must seek

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and not just seek we must experience the things

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that are going to make us satisfied

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and i'm not saying as in give all of our power to desire

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but i'm saying aren't you curious why that desire is in your heart.

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And that desire is the very reason why that you are holding that anger towards past you.

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A healthy balance of desire and detachment is needed.

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And in this case, detach from what you once had

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and curiously investigate the desires of what you want now that you believe will bring you satisfaction.

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Experience those satisfactions and see if it fulfills you in a way

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that even invites you to experience your inner state in a more grand

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manner because that's what it is when we get what we want

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when we achieve the things

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that we've been looking for a lot of times it's not bad the desire to want those things isn't bad

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because it invites us and it gives us more room

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and space to observe

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and become aware of our own mind to evolve there's nothing wrong with checking a couple boxes first

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and then allowing the sort of open field of spiritual progression and emotional freedom to follow.

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Whatever it may be, use that nostalgia,

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use those dreams of the past to awaken to a power that you have literally right now.

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And by changing the way you approach life, you change the way the opportunities in life approach you.

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That's it for today, guys.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this video.

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If you're watching on YouTube, make sure to like and subscribe.

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If you're listening on Spotify, thank you as always.

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That's it for me.

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Peace.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: experience, version, choice. This video has 274 sentences and 3494 words to shadow. The speech runs for 20:22. The speaker talks at a natural 172 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
nostalgia noun	/nɑˈstæld͡ʒə/	A longing for home or familiar surroundings; homesickness.
unquote		Used in speech to indicate the end of a quotation.
emotion noun	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data.
resentment noun	/ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/	Anger or displeasure stemming from belief that one or one's group has been wronged or betrayed by others; indignation.
satisfy verb	/ˈsætɪsfaɪ/	To be enough (for)
emotionally adverb	/ɪˈməʊʃənəli/	In an emotional manner; displaying emotion.
detach verb	/dɪˈtæt͡ʃ/	To take apart from; to take off.
brutally adverb		In a brutal manner; viciously, barbarically.
align verb	/əˈlaɪn/	To form a line; to fall into line.
inconvenience noun	/ɪnkənˈvinjəns/	The quality of being inconvenient.
observe verb	/əbˈzɜːv/	To notice or view, especially carefully or with attention to detail.
caveat noun	/ˈkæviɑt/	A warning.
resent verb	/ɹiˈzɛnt/	To feel resentment over; to consider as an affront.
unfold verb	/ʌnˈfoʊld/	To undo a folding.
recreate verb	/ˈɹɛk.ɹi.eɪt/	To give new life, energy or encouragement (to); to refresh, enliven.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
come down to verb		To reach by moving down or reducing.
go through verb		To travel from one end of something to the other.
caught up verb		Involuntarily involved in a situation.
go back verb		To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time.
look back verb		To think of (past events) in retrospect (in hindsight).
move forward verb		To cause to make progress.
see past verb		Synonym of look past.
set up verb	/ˌsɛt ˈʌp/	To make ready for use.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

What do we do with this entire framework?
How do we recognize the past?
Why did you choose the way you did?
What are we seeking from those past experiences?
Why can't we not have it in the near future?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on	you've been seeking · we've been looking
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	be found · are decorated · are handed
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	has occurred · have experienced · you've ever been

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 84 contractions and reduced forms, such as we're, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, actionable /ˈæk.ʃə.nə.bəl/
Long words — get the stress right: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, actionable /ˈæk.ʃə.nə.bəl/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like nostalgia, unquote, emotion.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach you. - Learn English Speaking with Video

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