Shadowing Practice: His Young Girlfriend Is Stealing His Money | Financial Audit - Learn English Speaking with Video

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My name is Paul.

I'm 31.

I'm based out of Dallas, Texas, and this is Financial Audit.

31 years old in Dallas, Texas.

So what do you do for a living 31?

I do IT for hedge funds.

So yeah, I'm thinking about money a lot of the time, just indirectly.

And so I've been trying to get a hold of my finances over the last year or so, and I'm slowly getting there,

but I still have a lot of work.

Oh, was the 20s just like an F around period for yourself?

Yes.

I made some mistakes, especially my mid -20s.

I had moved to Austin.

I started working in IT down here.

Yeah.

And then I decided I wanted to go into business for myself more.

And I was doing a lot of VR stuff.

And I got a little addicted to VR.

And I was trying to make that more of my income.

Okay.

But it didn't quite make up the difference for what I did.

But you kept up your spending or something?

Yeah, pretty much.

If anything, it kind of increased for a bit.

Really? So, yeah.

Interesting.

Yeah.

All right.

So, in your IT role, I see, I'm assuming this is your pay, correct, that you sent here?

Oh, yes.

This pay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. So, 2023.

Is this 2023 so far?

No, that's 2023.

Well, it's going to happen.

Yes.

Okay.

So total award, as it says, because you have your base salary of $69 ,386.

But there is a bonus of $1 ,700 and an additional $500.

401k match.

Okay, cool.

Of $2 ,843.

So that's what you put in and then they match that?

Yes.

And that's what I'm doing right now, doing a 4 % match.

So the total comp there is $74 ,429.

but we do have health benefits of 6 ,436, dental benefit 434, vision benefit 101,

life insurance 350, cell phone, which that's pretty nice, 1 ,080, and lunch, that's also quite nice, 4 ,518.

Is that lunch that if you buy, they'll reimburse you, or is that just the lunch that's provided at the office?

We have like a DoorDash order that we do every day, but if I miss it,

or if I'm out on site or with a client or something like that, then, um, I can expense it.

So a lot of my like eating outs tend to be from that.

Um, so they're all there.

I'm going to get that back.

Uh, I actually have like two months worth of expenses that I'm getting at like the end of this month.

Okay.

Cool.

Now what is your take home bi -weekly, semi -monthly?

What is your take home? not including expenses just

because I you don't want to count well okay for like

my cell phone just well yeah what is your account to 2300 very good is

that bi -weekly yes that's a 15th and 30th okay

so semi monthly yes said 2300 yes beautiful

so we got solid 4600 hitting your account on a monthly basis beautiful

so before we just go into your accounts we we kind of already talked about it we'll talk about again

but i want to hear from your perspective uh where do you think your finances stand today

and what score would you give it a zero out of ten

they're really bad i would i would put myself at like a two being generous to me

i yeah i think it's really bad

So I expected myself.

Why is it so bad?

Growing up, especially young 20s, when I started making money and every year it just felt like more and more money because I was like regularly.

I never really was like ready for it to like for me to make less money.

And so I think that's where like, you know, I was still going on trips and still doing things with my now ex -girlfriend.

And there were a lot of mistakes made.

And so I have literally just been trying to dig myself out of that hole for the last couple of years.

How's the digging out of the whole bend?

Not as fast.

Why? Because continued spending.

My new girlfriend moved in with me this last year.

I went to like a wedding.

Things kind of add up.

You know, late 30s, all my friends are getting married and life's happening.

Well, you're 31 though.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I'm trying to get it.

That's not late 30s.

Yeah, I'm still trying to get the hang of it though.

You know, like I want to be ready for my late 30s and I just don't feel like I'm there.

I thought that by my 30s, I would be like a millionaire or more.

And I'm guessing you are not.

Not yet. So.

Okay.

Well, let's look at.

So I think you have some checking and savings here with current.

Yes.

Okay.

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So it looks like your ending balance for your checking was $490 starting with $16.

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Yes.

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I spend my biggest problem is that I I'll still have money like I'll still I'll have like

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A little bit of money that goes to like my cash app

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or something that I'm usually using to I keep trying to spend all of my like work money

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or like charges and stuff off of like my cash app or something.

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But it's just not been working out super great.

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So, yeah, I have been spending way too much.

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And a lot of that is because I'm paying off my bills and debts.

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Like a lot of it does go to that.

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That's good.

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Starting with, I mean, but do you have like reoccurring payments and automatic withdrawals and stuff like that?

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Yes.

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And so starting with $17 is risky.

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Yes.

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That's my, well, my current account can't go negative or I mean it can't go like, it has like a negative balance.

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So the payment will be declined?

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Yeah, exactly.

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And so I always make, like I pay all of my bills first after I get paid and then I kind of just.

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Let me guess, you don't budget.

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No, not well.

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I tried. But

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if you're trying to get out of this situation these last couple years

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I assume you've educated yourself on some things how to get out of situations

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Why have you declined to take on a budget my life keeps every time?

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I try to set a budget my something in my life changes and so you change the budget.

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Yeah.

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Yes the budget adapts

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That's where I see a certain point.

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I mean you don't want it to control you

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You want to control the budget

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But obviously life things do happen and expenses do happen

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that are out of control and you out of your control and and you just adjust the budget around there.

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But if we're not budgeting, then we're not taking control of our money, then we're not attacking the debt in the best ways possible.

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Because my month -to -month keeps changing so much, that's where I just...

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What changes in a month -to -month?

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Having to...

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Well, for me, so, like, my girlfriend moved in six months ago.

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Okay.

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Then, like, her parents were visiting for Thanksgiving.

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Okay.

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And we had...

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What just...

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It was they like drove down

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and then like I had to kind of take care of them while they're here and my girlfriend hasn't been working yet.

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So it's kind of just.

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But you put this in the budget.

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If if you know your grandparents are coming to her,

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her grandparents are coming in or wherever it was and some extra money needs to go to that for whatever reason.

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You take it from a different category.

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You take it from like a fun category.

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You take it from this.

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You allocate.

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Yeah, I just don't really.

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Yeah, you're right.

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I just don't have those categories.

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I'll have bills and not bills.

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Well, maybe we'll build you a budget.

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But again, even ending with $400 with what you make is kind of a bummer.

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And then we immediately come on here with, like, my fresh tools and 11 labs and Patreon and Discord and Hooters.

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Hooters.

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That was actually my girlfriend.

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Yeah, okay.

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A Wondershare and Blizz and BamLab,

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Discord, Bamboo Labs, Wondershare, Hooters again, Blizzard, and an Apple reoccurring thing,

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and Racetrack, InfoServers .com, LinktreeP,

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Strike, DaveInk, DaveInk, DaveInk, Tundra, KFC, Tundra.

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DT Retail, Sweet Hut Bakery, an Apple subscription or payment of some kind of $97, and Sweet Hut Bakery and Cafe,

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Steam Games, another Apple bill,

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Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Uber, Coursera. Or Coursera.

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Yeah, Coursera.

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That's actually comp by work.

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Certification?

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Because I get $1 ,000 annual.

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And that's fine.

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We can excuse that one.

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But then we're Ubering and another Apple payment and an Apple payment

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and going and getting some coffee and an Apple payment

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and Steam games and an Apple payment and getting some coffee again and getting

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Raising Cane's and Racetrack and Racetrack and Steam games and Raising Cane's

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and Apple bill and Apple bill and an auto charge from NTTA,

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Apple bill, Microsoft, Microsoft, Unity, Microsoft.

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zap solutions audible video TV OD Z K D E N G whatever that is and NTTA again

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Bitcoin came in actually so you sold some

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Bitcoin yeah amen DT retail

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and another Apple what are all these Apple things do it sounds really dollars well okay

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so some of those were actually

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so I just got a new phone a couple of months ago

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because my old one was I had had it for like four years

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and and because my work comps most of my

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so how much of that was actually count realistically well

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so $90 a month is what my work

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that was like two of the Apple bills would be 90 bucks yeah yeah it's like a little half

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and then because well

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it's making excuses but because like my work comes to my bill then I use

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that as an excuse to get my iPhone

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but a lot of our clients use iPhones and

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so I also just wanted yeah I do support so yeah it's

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and a lot of the like I actually don't drink coffee

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so although like the coffee toll especially the toll hill ones

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those are actually just a beginning no no no no those are lunch those are those are gonna be

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so food yeah okay but how much again how much of

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that was actually come by work is this is like every

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single day every single day uh monthly basis every single day

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any of most of the food related ones except for like Hooters

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and like when we went out for like my anniversary

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and stuff so and we end up getting a lot of gift cards from mainly my girlfriend's parents

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so we use that as an excuse to go out and

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so that like you know $80 is probably a lot more than $80 actually

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if you want an excuse to do something right now you have an excuse to go hit the subscribe button

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because we're trying to get to 500 ,000 subscribers that's a ridiculous amount of spending even

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if half of that is complex to say that's still a ridiculous amount of spending yeah

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and ridiculous all those Apple bills were like they were adding up

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they weren't like the few dollar Apple bills these were like 40 50 60 like it was crap

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and even if work is comping a lot of stuff we're still you know spending a lot

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when the grandparents are and we're doing all this

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and I don't even know what the debt looks like but

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if we're trying to get out of debt obviously we're not getting out of debt

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if we're starting with like zero dollars

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and we're ending with only a few hundred dollars

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and everything else is just flooded out of the account

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and let me guess some of the work comp came in for the previous month right during

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that time um not in the last

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I haven't actually gotten any of the work stuff since January okay in January

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so okay next one's gonna be February and March that's still absolutely insane

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and then guess what the way we're ending the way

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we're ending what are we doing here with this touchable savings

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because it starts with 50 cents on

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but then 388 went in 388 went out that's me trying to save money

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and then having like i had to buy new tires

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and i know that's it's yeah it's so you're trying to save money

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and you would have been able to if you didn't eat out

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and spend all those apple bills and just use

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that for the new tires instead and you could kept this $400

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and there's that immediately having taken out and ending your savings with a dollar

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and 69 cents that's right and I just don't have any like rules in place like one I

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We need to get down to I'm not gonna say rules for myself.

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Okay.

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Yeah, I I'm very good at following rules.

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You have a lack of discipline.

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Yes Self -discipline so I like I was in the army for a while.

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So like I I self -discipline is the lacking part

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but like because like you know I'd have like a day off or something and then I'm not doing whatever you know

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My my routine is broken and so when that happens like yeah

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Well, that makes me nervous of the future.

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Yeah, me too and so especially because now I really want to save to be able to like, you know get engaged and do life things

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Well, before we get into the debt, I mean, we're like, okay, well, I hope I was a millionaire by 35,

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but I see your portfolios here are just under $5 ,000.

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Yes.

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Is that your only retirement?

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Yes, that's my 401k.

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And then I have about $500 currently in Bitcoin still and then $3 ,000 pure coin, but I don't know what that's worth right now.

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So I don't even know what that one is.

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But, okay, so we're a couple dollars away from a million dollars.

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Yeah, just a couple.

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Yeah.

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All righty.

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What is this?

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What I can't see is this 401k.

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What do you have it invested in?

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I just honestly select the basic option that they had when I set it up.

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I set it up back in.

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What's the basic option?

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Is it like a target retirement fund?

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Yes.

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Okay.

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Those can be good.

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Yeah.

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I haven't looked at it since.

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I just was selecting something while I was at work.

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If it's a target retirement fund I'm happy with, What I'm not happy with is it sounds like over 50 % of your portfolio with that

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Bitcoin and the other coin over 50 % of your portfolios and both like

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Yeah, so Well, oh not really the that would say the majority is that

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Well, you said 5 ,000 was in no no no the this 5 ,000 pure coin

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It's I don't actually pay attention to what it's worth because it it

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It I have it staking so it just returns like 5 % annually

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and it's been doing really well I've made good money off

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it's one of those funds were like it's basically my emergency fund

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but I don't want it to be

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and whenever I need money I'll take on an emergency fund

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it's you're right yeah you're right it's it's really not

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but I've been treating it like one okay

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so either way I mean this is flat out come out

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and say if we're being honest retirement for 31 is in a really bad shape yeah okay okay whoo all right

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next well now we can get into the debts I guess yes so this first one I have here is a 2017

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Nissan Versa what I do not have with it is the total balance

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yeah the total balance right now is seven thousand sixty five dollars

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and seventy one cents okay how much longer tell full repayment

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if doing minimum monthly hey don't what was your term it was I want to say 72

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and I know you're gonna hate with that sucks

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when did you take it out 2019 okay yeah

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so what is the interest on here 15 .5 7 %

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that is some death yes I know some death I was not

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refinance and like the you know 2020 2021

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when the interest rates are like zero I should have

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but my credit was also really bad and yeah so it wasn't gonna get much better

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So immediately what stresses me out here is okay, we're making a normal payment

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We're making a normal payment and it looks like your minimum of the payment is 157 yeah, yes but as early as just

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Just over a month ago now late fee assessment.

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Yes, we keep going back late fee assessment from the previous month.

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There's more the farther you go back.

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NSF fee paid.

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And we have NSF fee assessment and late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment.

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It just keeps going.

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The further we go back, late fee assessment.

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How possibly are you having late fee assessments on what is such a small payment, a small payment on your income?

306

Yeah.

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And that was for the reason

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that you noticed earlier where my account would go basically too low and I'm still doing that though yeah

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it's over the last few months I've gotten better about it

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but again started the month we're in with like nothing yeah I know well what is we're getting back actually

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that was last month technically right now last right now in my account I have 16 yeah

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but what is it gonna end at though after all bills

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and everything is said

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and done what is the next month gonna start out

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I want it to Start at higher than a thousand cuz at some point

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I mean you at some point within the month

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that we looked at I mean you probably had a couple thousand bucks in there

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Yeah, so what it's out right now.

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It doesn't really matter.

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What does what does it end up at?

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And of course we just keep going late fee.

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Let me let me lay fee like I see late fee late fee late fee late fee

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Yeah, it just it's endless and we're just pages of plate fees and late fees.

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This is endless late fees

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So this is we're not making in this was just so freaking recent too.

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So freaking recent.

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And your minimum monthly payment, correct me, again, is only $157.

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We can't be late on $150 ,000 bringing in $4 ,600 a month after 401k contributions and after taxes and everything.

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We can't be doing that.

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Yeah.

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I agree.

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Now, I know you sent me your credit karma, but I hate the printed off version.

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Can you just pull it up on your phone?

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Yes.

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I can take a look at.

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Sure.

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But it is nice that you send it, because we can put it up on screen.

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So I actually was not looking at it for a long time, which probably isn't a surprise. If you want to.

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Yep.

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There you go.

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Until I actually got this in the mail, and then I didn't even know where it was from,

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because it's from Sprint, something that was in collection.

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I've got two things in collections that are literally like nothing and need to just get paid off.

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Why haven't you just paid them off?

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That one, I actually wanted to ask you if, because I just got this.

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I literally just got it like the other day.

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They offer like a cheaper pay like settlement one or whatever.

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Is it on here?

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Your credit score is 549.

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Yes, it's bad.

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It's really bad with a 98 % payment history.

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Yeah, your auto loan

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Duh Five derogatory marks

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My goodness AFNI I think that 86 bucks I mean just write a check today

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Just write a check today

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Just pay it

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Rent recovery solutions

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Apparently I owed my last apartment money

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And I didn't know

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Okay, $158 Write a check today

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Yeah, I am.

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Now, this is where this becomes more complicated.

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It's just so much money.

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Yeah.

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We have collections.

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Number one, dude, $1 ,691.

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But we have collections number two at $2 ,679.

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And then we have collections number three, Midland Credit Management of $13 ,993.

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I think that's the most I've seen someone in collections.

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What is that?

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What is it?

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What are either of those possibly for?

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That was my 20s.

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I So I was in the army.

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I got some credit with the military star which like still on there,

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but that gave me like really really good I had like 800 something for a lot and then while I

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Had good credit I Kept spending it.

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We're just spending it.

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What was this going towards?

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What was it?

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A lot of, it was probably a lot of travel, trips, being stupid, paying for things for my friends.

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So why haven't, why have you done anything to these?

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Because the sad crap is the oldest one here is only two years old.

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So you're going to have to wait years and years

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and years and years for any of these to potentially fall off your thing.

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And I have a feeling you want to do things before then.

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Yes.

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That require crap.

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And I actually had, it was actually worse.

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But I had already gotten some stuff off.

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There was actually another 10 grand or so that I've paid off over the last two years.

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Good news is your car is currently on time.

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Everything else is f*ing.

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Yeah.

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I got hit with those late fees, but otherwise, my car's been, like, I can't, because I can't, I live in Texas.

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I can't, like, not have a car. So, unfortunately.

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Sad fact.

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Yes.

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The so you have eighteen thousand six hundred seven dollars in collections total death

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Okay, and military star do you spend on it no good I wouldn't yeah I have it

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It's the thing it's locked away in a safe

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Literally do not touch your debt comes out to twenty five thousand six hundred seventy two dollars God, that hurts to hear.

403

But your minimum monthly payment is like nothing.

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Yeah, I really have no excuses for not having things paid on time.

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Well, we can get your – when we're building out your budget here that you should actually stick to,

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we have more exact numbers than we typically do, which I appreciate.

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Your rent is $1 ,086.

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electric 188 sewer 37 water 24 gas 20 trash 15 pest control 3 stormwater

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and admin 3 trash admin 3 stormwater 182

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and it looks like you got a little refund for the previous month gas or something

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potentially yeah i think so yeah

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so yeah my rent is actually really really cheap for the area i live in

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so i'm very lucky um a lot of that was actually

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because the apartment i was supposed to move into originally had really bad water damage

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and i showed up the day of to move in

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and they put me in the wrong and they gave me a new apartment

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but the apartment that they gave me was actually just a one bedroom.

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So then they upgraded me again.

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And so I'm expecting my rent to go up to later this year.

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They haven't indicated what it will go up by?

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Not yet.

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Um, I know from one of my neighbors that they raised theirs, uh, by $300.

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So, um, but theirs was also higher than it, than mine is mine's.

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I'm not sure, but I need to talk to them.

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I've got another six or seven months I think until my lease is up

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but I want to talk to my leasing office well beforehand

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and know what it's gonna be sure 1382 .5 for rent

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and utilities which okay that's that's right on

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that 30 % cusp of where rent and utilities should be

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so you're right on it so

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if it goes up your income either needs to go up

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or you need to move

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because that's as much as you can afford what's your internet on a monthly basis uh

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it's currently a hundred dollars i believe phone bill uh 140 with 90 of it covered oh

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so yeah technically 50 yeah cell phones financed uh yes it is then again your car minimum monthly payment 157.

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yes three these here collections are not minimum payments

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but we got to save up large chunks of money to be able to negotiate the settlement

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and that's my problem I'm really bad at saving those large chunks

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I'm really good at little bits yeah we're gonna we're putting and we're gonna put a plan together okay car insurance

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That's also pretty expensive, I think.

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So I have USAA.

442

It's currently around $300 something.

443

It's more than your car payment.

444

Yes.

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Double your car payment.

446

It is.

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Gross.

448

Okay.

449

I'm going to do groceries at $300.

450

Why doesn't your girlfriend work?

451

She just, well, so she can't drive.

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And she doesn't have a car.

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And she had a job before she moved in.

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but she's from Pennsylvania.

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And so how it kind of worked was we had been planning for her to move down here

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and she was applying to some places, but we had the date set for her to move in

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after the wedding that I went to because she was coming with me.

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So it just made the most sense financially for us to come back together.

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And so she's been trying to find a job for the last six months

460

but hasn't had a lot of luck with remote work

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or anything that's like really super close by but

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so you're covering groceries yes I also cover

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she has a credit card payment that's $69 a month

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she needs to be a big girl go get her job

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she can work at a coffee shop you shouldn't be paying for

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that yeah um there's actually a coffee shop she's applied to a couple of times specifically

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that's kind of close uh there's just

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she hasn't had any luck getting the coffee shops does she have a bad resume uh

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i don't know i've never actually seen her resume really uh she's worked at uh tart oh no

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so she's worked at walmart CVS, CVS Pharmacy, and I think she's had a couple other jobs,

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but her last job was at a pharmacy. Are you okay?

472

Yeah.

473

You good?

474

Want tissues?

475

I just said, yeah.

476

Could we get some tissues, please?

477

Yeah.

478

That's okay.

479

Talk me through it.

480

What's happening?

481

Thanks.

482

very natural to cry there is no issues with it whatsoever

483

I am a crying myself yeah I had a feeling I would that's the wrong

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but I mean it's really just like hearing it

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yeah sorry but it's a natural reaction

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when everything gets laid out for the first time to show what the full situation is,

487

it is very natural for that to build up into a situation where the emotional response is overwhelming.

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But in a way, that's a good thing because it is showing that you recognize what the situation looks like.

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And once the situation is recognized, what it looks like, we can then come together

490

and do what is necessary to make sure that the emotions you're feeling now of the overwhelminess of the situation

491

is never presented to you again because we get out of it and we make your life so much better.

492

Agreed?

493

Oh yeah, I agree.

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And it's like every time I spend money, it hurts.

495

Do you feel like a compulsionary almost addiction to the way you spend money on certain things?

496

Well, so I went a good while, um, not really having, so especially

497

while I was like doing like working my business stuff because I was doing 3D level design and IT work.

498

And so I just had contract agreements and it was going pretty well.

499

It was just very, very demanding for the amount of work.

500

So I just, I couldn't afford to like grow, but I also necessarily like,

501

I got in this habit of just pay everything I can when I have the money.

502

And then, uh -huh.

503

Anything else you just, like, blow?

504

Yeah.

505

Yeah.

506

So how much is her credit card bill?

507

$69 a month right now.

508

What's her balance?

509

I have no idea.

510

So you don't even know how long it'll last?

511

She won't tell me.

512

You shouldn't pay it if she won't tell you.

513

That's not something I want to tell you while you're in this situation.

514

But, I mean, that's something you need to hear.

515

If you are paying it for her and you have no insight into it,

516

that is – it sucks to say you being take advantage of as much as you could be.

517

Yeah.

518

Really.

519

And I mean I see – like I want to have a life with her.

520

So I see a lot of – Like, you know, everything is like us stuff.

521

And I think, you know, she's trying to like protect me from it.

522

So it's not just stressing me out more, but it stresses me out so much.

523

You need to know what it is.

524

You need to sit down and say, if I'm helping you with this and if we have a future together,

525

then we need to be on the same page.

526

In order to be on the same page, I need to know what this looks like.

527

I would say that you don't even pay for it in general

528

because it's not your responsibility and she does need to put some big girl pants on

529

and get even the crappiest job in the world just temporarily so she can work her way out of it.

530

And I'm willing to have that conversation with her on a financial audit.

531

That being said, when it comes to your situation, which is why we are here, you shouldn't pay for it either way,

532

but you a billion percent shouldn't even come close to putting a penny towards it unless you know the balance on it.

533

If she is still spending money on it, that's my main concern.

534

What if she's racking up more debt on it and you're just paying for it? and of course interest rate and stuff.

535

That's important to know as well.

536

But you shouldn't be touching it if she's still spending on it.

537

You should run away as quick as you can

538

if she is still spending on it and you're paying for it and she doesn't agree to stop spending on it.

539

But she at least needs to let you know how much it is.

540

But that's scary.

541

I need you to know that is almost disgusting.

542

Disgusting.

543

Yeah, I expected that she was going to find some work by now.

544

but really it's just like it's not that she doesn't make some money

545

and doesn't try and when she has it she will pay it on her own

546

and a lot of it is really just

547

that like she does 3d modeling stuff do she'd like she's really good at blender

548

and stuff like that so she'll she's been trying to make assets

549

that she can sell which it can be so can be good about

550

that as a side hustle until that's fully sustainable she has to have something that

551

because I'm guessing you buy all her groceries I know yeah right

552

now I pay for everything you pay for much okay

553

I there is more to know before making a concrete decision

554

or a concrete statement but I need to be as honest as possible

555

and let you know that I am instinctively thinking

556

that you are being taken advantage of here and I mean I can understand why that's the immediate thought, especially just laid out.

557

It's not really that.

558

It's more of like, she's had health problems in the past.

559

But also, I see a lot of similarities between my own parents and my parents' relationship and mine,

560

and my parents were never good with money. so

561

like I'm trying to fix

562

that mistake before it's like worse I guess well the start of

563

that is just flat out saying hey sorry we're not married we do not have

564

that legally binding thing so I will take care of the rent

565

because it's my apartment but I cannot take care of your debt

566

if we're married that's a different story I shouldn't be taking care of your groceries

567

because what we can do is have a combined grocery fund that we do as a household

568

and we can buy groceries from there, but I cannot take care of everything

569

because I myself am trying to get out of a pretty

570

dire situation to set us up for success in general if we have a future.

571

Long story short, no.

572

The plan has been that once she gets a job that we would both take

573

once she gets a job is the thing though, and I bet if I actually had true insights into her,

574

and I bet she tells you oh I plan to hear,

575

I plan to hear, if I had true insights into it and if I were a betting person

576

And I would say that she's half right now.

577

I mean, yeah, she definitely hasn't been putting like, I mean, I don't want to make this about like, you know, like my girlfriend.

578

No, it shouldn't be.

579

But there is the attachment of you paying for all her stuff.

580

This isn't about her, but there is you paying for all her stuff.

581

So she does connect in that way.

582

Okay. But yeah.

583

Yeah.

584

We don't need to go into her further.

585

But it is important for you to know that you should not be taking care of all this stuff.

586

Yeah, I just, I love her and I want to support her too.

587

Of course, of course.

588

And sometimes the best support, as we've seen on this show as well, is by kind of telling it how it is.

589

She won't be able to financially support herself

590

and contribute to the relationship in a way if that's the agreement

591

that you guys want if she is not actually going out, making some monies, and taking care of...

592

Yeah.

593

I'm gonna have a talk with her

594

and we're gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna just let her know it's just for starters

595

that I would like to know how much she owes and

596

if she spends on it

597

so yes you should have access to be able to see a monthly sit down on

598

that credit card okay

599

if you're paying for it that's a yeah that's a good she probably gets an email statement I would assume

600

so yeah she good we I already like, you know, like for like our mail, like when we have mail come in,

601

I have that stuff forwarded to her.

602

And same thing for like my, like whenever rents do that kind of thing.

603

So she knows what the utilities are.

604

How old is she?

605

She is 23 right now.

606

Okay.

607

Yeah.

608

Okay.

609

So we have that $69 going for it.

610

I'm going to for now, and she needs to get a job as quick as she can.

611

But right now I'm going to say her food budget is $400.

612

We'll do that for the household.

613

If she wants it to be more than that for you guys, I mean, you're going to be eating like ramen and crap and hot dogs.

614

Yeah, if she wants it more than that she can contribute to that

615

But that's what it's gonna be coming from your pocket no more than 400 and things for the house

616

Toilet paper and everything else necessary to survive hundred dollars for the household no more if she wants more

617

She can contribute it to it, but that is the max you put towards it I think that's actually well I get

618

so I have the those I get free lunch from work

619

Yeah, and that actually makes a huge difference and I bring leftovers home all the time. So

620

Yeah, we

621

definitely like just having like a firm like okay we're gonna spend 300 400

622

or whatever makes it a lot easier than trying to figure out

623

because before I was setting it at like 200

624

but I was definitely overspending on lunch already or not lunch

625

but food already I've only been working the job I'm at now currently since last summer

626

and so that's also a big factor because before that I was making a lot less.

627

Yeah, for sure.

628

That makes sense.

629

Any other minimum monthly expenses that we can think of that you must take care of?

630

Not really.

631

Okay.

632

This comes out to $2 ,559.

633

The good news is you have $2 ,000 left.

634

Yes.

635

That's fantastic.

636

Right now it's getting burned.

637

Yes.

638

And that's my problem because I see that, like I've written that out and I'll be like,

639

I should have more money and then it just kind of goes poof.

640

I'm okay with getting the lunch and getting it reimbursed by the company.

641

We're totally good with that.

642

Make sure you're tracking it very clearly and get that money back on a monthly basis.

643

Whatever the thing is, get it back as soon as you can

644

because right now you're also a couple months behind on that and the amount of money that you spend on food.

645

Whatever it is, take that deduction.

646

Anything else beyond that, unless Again, she wants to pay for it or you guys do free stuff.

647

There is no fun.

648

There is no going out to eat.

649

There is nothing until your crap is cleaned up.

650

It does not exist.

651

You just can't.

652

And with $2 ,000, we can make a big difference here.

653

Big difference.

654

What I would do is immediately get rid of those two small collections.

655

I would write a check today.

656

You already said you would do that.

657

Yeah.

658

Boom.

659

Those are gone.

660

then with the $2 ,000 on a monthly basis you don't have anything in savings

661

so that first $2 ,000 I'd put in savings just to protect you with where your minimum monthly payments are

662

that you know that'll help you survive for a month

663

so $2 ,000 is in high yield savings boom never touch

664

it then the next $2 ,000 goes to your car

665

and the next $2 ,000 goes to your car

666

and the next $2 ,000 goes to your car

667

and then the next thousand dollars goes to your car so we're like end of month five at that point.

668

Yeah.

669

I think.

670

That sounds right.

671

Yeah.

672

So then the car is done.

673

And we want that to be done because it's 15 % interest.

674

You're only halfway done.

675

So a lot of the money that you're going to is starting to go towards principal versus interest.

676

However.

677

I noticed that.

678

Yeah.

679

So that's good. But still, with how much longer there is to pay this off

680

and where we need to get in life and where the interest rate is in general, kill it.

681

And you can kill it in just a few months.

682

Yeah.

683

Yeah, yeah.

684

Yeah, that's pretty much, like, I want to just destroy all my debt as fast as possible and in a year have,

685

like, be on, like, the opposite side of the zero, you know?

686

Yeah, and then what I would do with those other collections, the $1 ,691, $2 ,667,

687

$13 ,000, $18 ,000, because they're so young still

688

and you want to do things that will impact your credit you

689

that you want good credit for I would save up for each of them I'd save up like half

690

and then offer or offer half okay

691

and keep fighting with them fight them they're gonna say no the first time fight

692

that you know cuz I had done

693

that once with the I had five thousand dollars and I was

694

and I wanted to just knock out that 13 that's

695

that stupid one and I called them up

696

and I was like I have this amount of money

697

and I just wanted gone and they said no they told me no. So that's when you call them next month, do it again.

698

They say no, call them next month, do it again.

699

They say no, call them next month, do it again.

700

And then just do what you can to get it down.

701

If they need an extra thousand, you know, maybe that's their negotiation and that's fine.

702

Obviously never give them access to any account.

703

Oh yeah.

704

Never.

705

I'll give them, I'll pay them.

706

Just for anyone and everyone out there.

707

Yeah.

708

Cut them a check.

709

So in general, I think if you do half of this, which I think collections is...

710

Oh, sorry.

711

Collections in total is $18 ,000.

712

Yes, it's $25 ,000 at the cart.

713

You could save up $9 ,000 with your $2 ,000.

714

So at the end of month five, if you do another five months and save up half of that, just try to negotiate them, essentially.

715

So, I mean, this could be done the debt could be gone in 10 months that's crazy and then call it

716

another 6 months to save up a fully funded emergency fund,

717

boom you're like a year and a quarter a year and a quarter from now and your life is completely changed

718

completely changed it's the dream but the dream is only achievable

719

if you actually buckle down we are both scared of that lack of self discipline

720

you need to hold yourself accountable in some way

721

Your girlfriend holds you accountable.

722

Friends hold you accountable.

723

We'll hold you accountable by doing a checkup as well.

724

But you need to start this today and we need to say why we're doing it.

725

If we can see the reason why we're doing it because we're going to have such a better life,

726

we can all get our retirement on track.

727

If we see the reason why, then every time we go to that little drive -thru or something like that,

728

we're like, no, I want to be able to retire when I'm 16.

729

Yeah.

730

And so like I am worried about a few things, especially like right now because of my work lunches you know,

731

if I were to like leave that's one of the the perks of my job are amazing

732

and I and I really like where I'm at

733

And I plan to be there for a good little while

734

And I'm hoping to be making more and more money the longer I'm there is where I'm at.

735

It's a software company

736

Yeah, what I do in my company is like pretty low so I can I can definitely make a lot more

737

I just want to get some certifications which are paid for as long as I pass it and

738

I'm already studying for a couple

739

so with any luck I'll be like a this time next year I'll be like a junior cloud engineer

740

and have you looked at that you know that resource I put down below that course careers

741

Yes, I have I also have a phys account right now that I was actually thinking about using for just work

742

That's not good with helping you spend on certain categories

743

Yeah, I actually yeah, so that's my biggest problem is that like like I just have everything funneling through like one thing

744

And it's really hard for me to keep track

745

when I'm already like feeling like I don't have a lot of time in the day

746

Because I work 45 to 50 hours a week plus I do commission work still

747

Which actually I didn't really even mention that

748

but that's like an extra I'm expecting about another 5k or so this year last year was about 10k so

749

But yeah so I just want to put all that

750

Either way what it comes down to here is this one now what I'd recommend for you

751

for other reasons than different people.

752

I say mental health is one of the most important things.

753

I'd recommend take advantage of that health care.

754

Just see a therapist maybe twice a month and just talk about this spending,

755

you know, inclination that you have to spending and then talk about the situation that you're in,

756

how clearly overwhelming it is and how you want to get out of it and then she can help hold you,

757

or they can help hold you accountable.

758

They can really make that, I think that's the best accountability buddy you can have as a bi -weekly therapist.

759

Talk about the spending, your compulsion to do so.

760

Talk about the debt that you want to get out of.

761

Talk about the relationship and that stuff there.

762

It's so worth it.

763

I promise that will help you get to the situation faster than you could ever imagine

764

if you help take care of the mental health side of it.

765

That's a good point.

766

I've had really bad problems with accountability.

767

That's really it.

768

I know that.

769

and I want to fix it.

770

So that's why I'm here.

771

It's a good idea.

772

Whatever you do, I'm going to follow it.

773

To the T.

774

I hope so.

775

People leave here with a fire under their butt, but after a month...

776

Yeah, I've seen it.

777

We've had one successful story so far.

778

Be at least the second one.

779

Hopefully we had more before then.

780

But at least be the second one something

781

I've been doing over the last like couple of months at least well okay

782

so I own a lot of domain names which again is another expense

783

but I also sell them so every now and then I sell one

784

and it kind of makes up for it

785

and it's just it's extra money

786

but um I've got like you know I have this one I've been using sorry wallet .com

787

so whenever I type that in it just goes to your videos

788

and so I do that every time I want to not spend money

789

and it's a really good solution because then you're just like, stop going to McDonald's.

790

And it makes me not want to go get McDonald's.

791

So whatever you have to do, my man, I want you to do so well.

792

So yeah, when it just, again, when it comes down to things, a couple of things we need to check off the list.

793

Budget.

794

We we laid out in a graph what the budget is in the video, so you'll see it okay,

795

and you can write it down I'd follow that make it that in your favorite of budgeting app rocket money Ramsey's app.

796

I don't care mint

797

Whatever you need a budget doesn't matter.

798

I've tried a lot of apps I well actually so my bank just started support or being supported in rocket money,

799

so okay That's why I've been using that one

800

And so a lot of those recent subscriptions like fresh tools and a bunch of others.

801

I actually canceled through that I would cancel yeah

802

So follow the budget we need to have a very serious conversation with the girlfriend

803

I'm not going to go into all that again, but have that conversation.

804

You know what it is.

805

So we're following the budget, having the serious conversation, and then we're attacking the card debt,

806

and then we're saving up to negotiate on some of the collections.

807

And then just kill those two small collections today because it's practically nothing.

808

Literally doing that right after here.

809

Beautiful.

810

And from there, we save up the emergency fund.

811

Once the emergency fund is saved up a year and a quarter from now, or more if you bring in some more money,

812

then you're doing 20 % of your post tax at a minimum towards retirement.

813

And you'll be in a good place with your income if you do that.

814

I might amp it up to 25 % to play a little bit of catch up.

815

Okay.

816

But you could do that through your 401k by maxing it out.

817

Yeah.

818

You could do that by Roth IRA and then more through a brokerage.

819

You know, however you want to do it,

820

I would do the Roth IRA maxed out and then probably just max out your 401k if you can.

821

Okay.

822

You might not even need to do that in order to hit that 25%, but maybe you do.

823

I don't know.

824

Either way, we just need to get you in a good place where decades from now you're in a great place.

825

And then maybe you start saving up an extra 5 %

826

of your income on the side to start saving up for a down payment on a home for

827

when your credit's in a good place and we're able to put money down on some properties.

828

Yes.

829

My long -term goal is I want to get my credit into a good place.

830

I want to get my own piece of property

831

and then I would like to open up a cafe business because I'm really good at doing IT stuff.

832

And so I've been wanting to open up a cafe

833

that I'm not going to name because I don't want anybody stealing my domain names.

834

But I'm trying not to spend money.

835

Well, I have some of them.

836

But I'm trying not to spend more money right now.

837

So I want to be able to open a cafe where everybody just has like, well, people can come get free internet.

838

And then they can give me more money and get better internet.

839

It's a great idea.

840

And also good coffee, right?

841

So, um, which it helps that I don't drink coffee and I don't really like my like personal requirements are pretty low.

842

I don't really, I, my car's not that bad.

843

I, it's a Nissan Versa, right?

844

Like I couldn't find much that was like in around that tier.

845

Cause I, I pay, I got it for, I got upsold on it and it was 14 ,000, you know, which.

846

The only thing that stuck out to me is I don't know much about cars, but I do know

847

Nissan's around that year can have some sketchy transmissions.

848

Mine's been surprisingly really that's good really good.

849

Yeah I didn't need new tires recently because I had

850

Literally it happens with every yeah, it happens.

851

Yeah, so maintenance

852

All right, any final thoughts?

853

Thank you so much.

854

I really I'm following what everything that you have written down.

855

I'm gonna follow to the T.

856

So The next time I talk to you I want to have good news.

857

All right, let's do it man.

858

Let's do it Thanks.

859

Appreciate it, Caleb.

860

All right, for Paul and his Hammer Financial score, we're going to break it down by the categories and then do an aggregate.

861

For his spending and a budget, well, he has no budget and he's overspending and he's starting with basically nothing in his checking account.

862

Zero out of ten.

863

Doesn't get much worse.

864

Debt?

865

Doesn't get much worse.

866

In collections and having terrible interest on the car loan?

867

Zero out of ten.

868

Retirement for his age?

869

Obviously, he's very behind for his age, but he does still have some there.

870

Two out of ten.

871

Emergency fund?

872

No emergency fund zero out of 10 real estate not in real estate zero out of 10

873

so right now hammer financial score 0 .2 out of 10.

874

make sure to check out all the things like the resources in the description below

875

and don't forget to follow my instagram and twitter thanks

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160 sentences

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This speaking lesson is built on the video “His Young Girlfriend Is Stealing His Money”. This video has 875 sentences and 8607 words to shadow. The speech runs for 48:53. The speaker talks at a natural 176 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
collections noun	/kəˈlɛkʃənz/	A state being beyond merely past due.
assessment noun	/əˈsɛsmənt/	The act of assessing or an amount (of tax, levy or duty etc) assessed.
expense noun	/ɪkˈspɛns/	A spending or consuming, often a disbursement of funds.
accountable adjective	/əˈkaʊntəbl̩/	Obliged, when called upon, to answer (for one’s deeds); answerable.
groceries noun	/ˈɡɹoʊ.s(ə.)ɹiz/	Retail foodstuffs and other household supplies; the commodities sold by a grocer or in a grocery store.
discipline noun	/ˈdɪsəplɪn/	A controlled behaviour; self-control.
household adjective	/ˈhaʊshoʊld/	Belonging to the same house and family.
ridiculous adjective	/ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/	Deserving of ridicule; foolish, absurd.
contribute verb	/kənˈtɹɪb.jut/	To give something that is or becomes part of a larger whole.
boom verb	/bum/	To make a loud, hollow, resonant sound.
utility noun	/juːˈtɪlɪti/	The state or condition of being useful; usefulness.
coin noun	/ˈkoɪ̯n/	A piece of currency, usually metallic and in the shape of a disc, but sometimes polygonal, or with a hole in the middle.
insight noun	/ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/	A sight or view of the interior of anything; a deep inspection or view; introspection; frequently used with into.
portfolio noun	/pɔːtˈfəʊ.liˌəʊ/	A case for carrying papers, drawings, photographs, maps and other flat documents.
tire verb	/ˈtaɪ̯ɚ/	To become sleepy or weary.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
get out of verb	To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of.
save up verb	To accumulate money, especially for a specific, planned expenditure.
go back verb	To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time.
go up verb	To move upwards.
add up verb	To take the sum of; to total.
come down to verb	To reach by moving down or reducing.
go out verb	To leave, especially a building.
open up verb	To open.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

What is your take home?
Is that your only retirement?
What do you have it invested in?
Why haven't you just paid them off?
Why doesn't your girlfriend work?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on	I've been trying · it's just not been working · have been spending
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	you've educated · have you declined · haven't actually gotten
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	will be declined · is just flooded · is broken
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	situation, which is · certifications which are

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 274 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, we're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: collections /kəˈlɛkʃənz/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, trash /tɹæʃ/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, tissue /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/
Long words — get the stress right: ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, utility /juːˈtɪlɪti/, portfolio /pɔːtˈfəʊ.liˌəʊ/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, comparative /kəmˈpæɹətɪv/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like collections, assessment, expense.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: His Young Girlfriend Is Stealing His Money | Financial Audit - Learn English Speaking with Video

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What is the Shadowing Technique?