Pratica di Shadowing: His Young Girlfriend Is Stealing His Money | Financial Audit - Impara a parlare inglese con i video

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My name is Paul.
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I'm 31.
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I'm based out of Dallas, Texas, and this is Financial Audit.
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31 years old in Dallas, Texas.
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So what do you do for a living 31?
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I do IT for hedge funds.
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So yeah, I'm thinking about money a lot of the time, just indirectly.
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And so I've been trying to get a hold of my finances over the last year or so, and I'm slowly getting there,
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but I still have a lot of work.
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Oh, was the 20s just like an F around period for yourself?
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Yes.
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I made some mistakes, especially my mid -20s.
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I had moved to Austin.
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I started working in IT down here.
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Yeah.
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And then I decided I wanted to go into business for myself more.
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And I was doing a lot of VR stuff.
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And I got a little addicted to VR.
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And I was trying to make that more of my income.
20
Okay.
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But it didn't quite make up the difference for what I did.
22
But you kept up your spending or something?
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Yeah, pretty much.
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If anything, it kind of increased for a bit.
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Really? So, yeah.
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Interesting.
27
Yeah.
28
All right.
29
So, in your IT role, I see, I'm assuming this is your pay, correct, that you sent here?
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Oh, yes.
31
This pay?
32
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Okay. So, 2023.
34
Is this 2023 so far?
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No, that's 2023.
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Well, it's going to happen.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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So total award, as it says, because you have your base salary of $69 ,386.
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But there is a bonus of $1 ,700 and an additional $500.
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401k match.
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Okay, cool.
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Of $2 ,843.
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So that's what you put in and then they match that?
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Yes.
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And that's what I'm doing right now, doing a 4 % match.
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So the total comp there is $74 ,429.
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but we do have health benefits of 6 ,436, dental benefit 434, vision benefit 101,
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life insurance 350, cell phone, which that's pretty nice, 1 ,080, and lunch, that's also quite nice, 4 ,518.
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Is that lunch that if you buy, they'll reimburse you, or is that just the lunch that's provided at the office?
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We have like a DoorDash order that we do every day, but if I miss it,
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or if I'm out on site or with a client or something like that, then, um, I can expense it.
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So a lot of my like eating outs tend to be from that.
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Um, so they're all there.
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I'm going to get that back.
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Uh, I actually have like two months worth of expenses that I'm getting at like the end of this month.
57
Okay.
58
Okay.
59
Cool.
60
Now what is your take home bi -weekly, semi -monthly?
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What is your take home? not including expenses just
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because I you don't want to count well okay for like
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my cell phone just well yeah what is your account to 2300 very good is
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that bi -weekly yes that's a 15th and 30th okay
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so semi monthly yes said 2300 yes beautiful
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so we got solid 4600 hitting your account on a monthly basis beautiful
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so before we just go into your accounts we we kind of already talked about it we'll talk about again
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but i want to hear from your perspective uh where do you think your finances stand today
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and what score would you give it a zero out of ten
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they're really bad i would i would put myself at like a two being generous to me
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i yeah i think it's really bad
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So I expected myself.
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Why is it so bad?
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Growing up, especially young 20s, when I started making money and every year it just felt like more and more money because I was like regularly.
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I never really was like ready for it to like for me to make less money.
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And so I think that's where like, you know, I was still going on trips and still doing things with my now ex -girlfriend.
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And there were a lot of mistakes made.
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And so I have literally just been trying to dig myself out of that hole for the last couple of years.
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How's the digging out of the whole bend?
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Not as fast.
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Why? Because continued spending.
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My new girlfriend moved in with me this last year.
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I went to like a wedding.
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Things kind of add up.
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You know, late 30s, all my friends are getting married and life's happening.
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Well, you're 31 though.
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Yeah, I know.
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That's why I'm trying to get it.
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That's not late 30s.
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Yeah, I'm still trying to get the hang of it though.
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You know, like I want to be ready for my late 30s and I just don't feel like I'm there.
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I thought that by my 30s, I would be like a millionaire or more.
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And I'm guessing you are not.
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Not yet. So.
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Okay.
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Well, let's look at.
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So I think you have some checking and savings here with current.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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So it looks like your ending balance for your checking was $490 starting with $16.
101
Yes.
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I spend my biggest problem is that I I'll still have money like I'll still I'll have like
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A little bit of money that goes to like my cash app
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or something that I'm usually using to I keep trying to spend all of my like work money
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or like charges and stuff off of like my cash app or something.
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But it's just not been working out super great.
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So, yeah, I have been spending way too much.
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And a lot of that is because I'm paying off my bills and debts.
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Like a lot of it does go to that.
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That's good.
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Starting with, I mean, but do you have like reoccurring payments and automatic withdrawals and stuff like that?
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Yes.
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And so starting with $17 is risky.
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Yes.
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That's my, well, my current account can't go negative or I mean it can't go like, it has like a negative balance.
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So the payment will be declined?
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Yeah, exactly.
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And so I always make, like I pay all of my bills first after I get paid and then I kind of just.
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Let me guess, you don't budget.
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No, not well.
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I tried. But
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if you're trying to get out of this situation these last couple years
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I assume you've educated yourself on some things how to get out of situations
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Why have you declined to take on a budget my life keeps every time?
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I try to set a budget my something in my life changes and so you change the budget.
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Yeah.
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Yes the budget adapts
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That's where I see a certain point.
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I mean you don't want it to control you
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You want to control the budget
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But obviously life things do happen and expenses do happen
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that are out of control and you out of your control and and you just adjust the budget around there.
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But if we're not budgeting, then we're not taking control of our money, then we're not attacking the debt in the best ways possible.
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Because my month -to -month keeps changing so much, that's where I just...
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What changes in a month -to -month?
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Having to...
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Well, for me, so, like, my girlfriend moved in six months ago.
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Okay.
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Then, like, her parents were visiting for Thanksgiving.
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Okay.
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And we had...
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What just...
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It was they like drove down
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and then like I had to kind of take care of them while they're here and my girlfriend hasn't been working yet.
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So it's kind of just.
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But you put this in the budget.
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If if you know your grandparents are coming to her,
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her grandparents are coming in or wherever it was and some extra money needs to go to that for whatever reason.
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You take it from a different category.
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You take it from like a fun category.
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You take it from this.
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You allocate.
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Yeah, I just don't really.
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Yeah, you're right.
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I just don't have those categories.
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I'll have bills and not bills.
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Well, maybe we'll build you a budget.
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But again, even ending with $400 with what you make is kind of a bummer.
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And then we immediately come on here with, like, my fresh tools and 11 labs and Patreon and Discord and Hooters.
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Hooters.
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That was actually my girlfriend.
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Yeah, okay.
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A Wondershare and Blizz and BamLab,
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Discord, Bamboo Labs, Wondershare, Hooters again, Blizzard, and an Apple reoccurring thing,
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and Racetrack, InfoServers .com, LinktreeP,
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Strike, DaveInk, DaveInk, DaveInk, Tundra, KFC, Tundra.
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DT Retail, Sweet Hut Bakery, an Apple subscription or payment of some kind of $97, and Sweet Hut Bakery and Cafe,
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Steam Games, another Apple bill,
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Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Microelectronic, Uber, Coursera. Or Coursera.
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Yeah, Coursera.
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That's actually comp by work.
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Certification?
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Because I get $1 ,000 annual.
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And that's fine.
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We can excuse that one.
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But then we're Ubering and another Apple payment and an Apple payment
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and going and getting some coffee and an Apple payment
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and Steam games and an Apple payment and getting some coffee again and getting
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Raising Cane's and Racetrack and Racetrack and Steam games and Raising Cane's
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and Apple bill and Apple bill and an auto charge from NTTA,
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Apple bill, Microsoft, Microsoft, Unity, Microsoft.
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zap solutions audible video TV OD Z K D E N G whatever that is and NTTA again
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Bitcoin came in actually so you sold some
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Bitcoin yeah amen DT retail
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and another Apple what are all these Apple things do it sounds really dollars well okay
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so some of those were actually
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so I just got a new phone a couple of months ago
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because my old one was I had had it for like four years
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and and because my work comps most of my
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so how much of that was actually count realistically well
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so $90 a month is what my work
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that was like two of the Apple bills would be 90 bucks yeah yeah it's like a little half
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and then because well
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it's making excuses but because like my work comes to my bill then I use
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that as an excuse to get my iPhone
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but a lot of our clients use iPhones and
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so I also just wanted yeah I do support so yeah it's
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and a lot of the like I actually don't drink coffee
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so although like the coffee toll especially the toll hill ones
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those are actually just a beginning no no no no those are lunch those are those are gonna be
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so food yeah okay but how much again how much of
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that was actually come by work is this is like every
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single day every single day uh monthly basis every single day
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any of most of the food related ones except for like Hooters
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and like when we went out for like my anniversary
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and stuff so and we end up getting a lot of gift cards from mainly my girlfriend's parents
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so we use that as an excuse to go out and
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so that like you know $80 is probably a lot more than $80 actually
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if you want an excuse to do something right now you have an excuse to go hit the subscribe button
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because we're trying to get to 500 ,000 subscribers that's a ridiculous amount of spending even
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if half of that is complex to say that's still a ridiculous amount of spending yeah
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and ridiculous all those Apple bills were like they were adding up
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they weren't like the few dollar Apple bills these were like 40 50 60 like it was crap
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and even if work is comping a lot of stuff we're still you know spending a lot
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when the grandparents are and we're doing all this
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and I don't even know what the debt looks like but
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if we're trying to get out of debt obviously we're not getting out of debt
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if we're starting with like zero dollars
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and we're ending with only a few hundred dollars
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and everything else is just flooded out of the account
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and let me guess some of the work comp came in for the previous month right during
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that time um not in the last
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I haven't actually gotten any of the work stuff since January okay in January
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so okay next one's gonna be February and March that's still absolutely insane
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and then guess what the way we're ending the way
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we're ending what are we doing here with this touchable savings
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because it starts with 50 cents on
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but then 388 went in 388 went out that's me trying to save money
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and then having like i had to buy new tires
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and i know that's it's yeah it's so you're trying to save money
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and you would have been able to if you didn't eat out
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and spend all those apple bills and just use
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that for the new tires instead and you could kept this $400
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and there's that immediately having taken out and ending your savings with a dollar
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and 69 cents that's right and I just don't have any like rules in place like one I
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We need to get down to I'm not gonna say rules for myself.
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Okay.
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Yeah, I I'm very good at following rules.
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You have a lack of discipline.
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Yes Self -discipline so I like I was in the army for a while.
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So like I I self -discipline is the lacking part
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but like because like you know I'd have like a day off or something and then I'm not doing whatever you know
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My my routine is broken and so when that happens like yeah
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Well, that makes me nervous of the future.
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Yeah, me too and so especially because now I really want to save to be able to like, you know get engaged and do life things
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Well, before we get into the debt, I mean, we're like, okay, well, I hope I was a millionaire by 35,
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but I see your portfolios here are just under $5 ,000.
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Yes.
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Is that your only retirement?
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Yes, that's my 401k.
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And then I have about $500 currently in Bitcoin still and then $3 ,000 pure coin, but I don't know what that's worth right now.
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So I don't even know what that one is.
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But, okay, so we're a couple dollars away from a million dollars.
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Yeah, just a couple.
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Yeah.
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All righty.
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What is this?
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What I can't see is this 401k.
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What do you have it invested in?
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I just honestly select the basic option that they had when I set it up.
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I set it up back in.
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What's the basic option?
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Is it like a target retirement fund?
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Those can be good.
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Yeah.
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I haven't looked at it since.
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I just was selecting something while I was at work.
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If it's a target retirement fund I'm happy with, What I'm not happy with is it sounds like over 50 % of your portfolio with that
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Bitcoin and the other coin over 50 % of your portfolios and both like
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Yeah, so Well, oh not really the that would say the majority is that
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Well, you said 5 ,000 was in no no no the this 5 ,000 pure coin
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It's I don't actually pay attention to what it's worth because it it
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It I have it staking so it just returns like 5 % annually
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and it's been doing really well I've made good money off
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it's one of those funds were like it's basically my emergency fund
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but I don't want it to be
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and whenever I need money I'll take on an emergency fund
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it's you're right yeah you're right it's it's really not
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but I've been treating it like one okay
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so either way I mean this is flat out come out
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and say if we're being honest retirement for 31 is in a really bad shape yeah okay okay whoo all right
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next well now we can get into the debts I guess yes so this first one I have here is a 2017
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Nissan Versa what I do not have with it is the total balance
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yeah the total balance right now is seven thousand sixty five dollars
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and seventy one cents okay how much longer tell full repayment
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if doing minimum monthly hey don't what was your term it was I want to say 72
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and I know you're gonna hate with that sucks
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when did you take it out 2019 okay yeah
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so what is the interest on here 15 .5 7 %
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that is some death yes I know some death I was not
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refinance and like the you know 2020 2021
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when the interest rates are like zero I should have
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but my credit was also really bad and yeah so it wasn't gonna get much better
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So immediately what stresses me out here is okay, we're making a normal payment
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We're making a normal payment and it looks like your minimum of the payment is 157 yeah, yes but as early as just
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Just over a month ago now late fee assessment.
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Yes, we keep going back late fee assessment from the previous month.
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There's more the farther you go back.
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NSF fee paid.
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And we have NSF fee assessment and late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment, late fee assessment.
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It just keeps going.
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The further we go back, late fee assessment.
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How possibly are you having late fee assessments on what is such a small payment, a small payment on your income?
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Yeah.
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And that was for the reason
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that you noticed earlier where my account would go basically too low and I'm still doing that though yeah
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it's over the last few months I've gotten better about it
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but again started the month we're in with like nothing yeah I know well what is we're getting back actually
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that was last month technically right now last right now in my account I have 16 yeah
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but what is it gonna end at though after all bills
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and everything is said
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and done what is the next month gonna start out
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I want it to Start at higher than a thousand cuz at some point
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I mean you at some point within the month
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that we looked at I mean you probably had a couple thousand bucks in there
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Yeah, so what it's out right now.
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It doesn't really matter.
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What does what does it end up at?
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And of course we just keep going late fee.
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Let me let me lay fee like I see late fee late fee late fee late fee
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Yeah, it just it's endless and we're just pages of plate fees and late fees.
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This is endless late fees
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So this is we're not making in this was just so freaking recent too.
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So freaking recent.
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And your minimum monthly payment, correct me, again, is only $157.
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We can't be late on $150 ,000 bringing in $4 ,600 a month after 401k contributions and after taxes and everything.
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We can't be doing that.
330
Yeah.
331
I agree.
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Now, I know you sent me your credit karma, but I hate the printed off version.
333
Can you just pull it up on your phone?
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Yes.
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I can take a look at.
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Sure.
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But it is nice that you send it, because we can put it up on screen.
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So I actually was not looking at it for a long time, which probably isn't a surprise. If you want to.
339
Yep.
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There you go.
341
Until I actually got this in the mail, and then I didn't even know where it was from,
342
because it's from Sprint, something that was in collection.
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I've got two things in collections that are literally like nothing and need to just get paid off.
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Why haven't you just paid them off?
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That one, I actually wanted to ask you if, because I just got this.
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I literally just got it like the other day.
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They offer like a cheaper pay like settlement one or whatever.
348
Is it on here?
349
Your credit score is 549.
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Yes, it's bad.
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It's really bad with a 98 % payment history.
352
Yeah, your auto loan
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Duh Five derogatory marks
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My goodness AFNI I think that 86 bucks I mean just write a check today
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Just write a check today
356
Just pay it
357
Rent recovery solutions
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Apparently I owed my last apartment money
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And I didn't know
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Okay, $158 Write a check today
361
Yeah, I am.
362
Now, this is where this becomes more complicated.
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It's just so much money.
364
Yeah.
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We have collections.
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Number one, dude, $1 ,691.
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But we have collections number two at $2 ,679.
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And then we have collections number three, Midland Credit Management of $13 ,993.
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I think that's the most I've seen someone in collections.
370
What is that?
371
What is it?
372
What are either of those possibly for?
373
That was my 20s.
374
I So I was in the army.
375
I got some credit with the military star which like still on there,
376
but that gave me like really really good I had like 800 something for a lot and then while I
377
Had good credit I Kept spending it.
378
We're just spending it.
379
What was this going towards?
380
What was it?
381
A lot of, it was probably a lot of travel, trips, being stupid, paying for things for my friends.
382
So why haven't, why have you done anything to these?
383
Because the sad crap is the oldest one here is only two years old.
384
So you're going to have to wait years and years
385
and years and years for any of these to potentially fall off your thing.
386
And I have a feeling you want to do things before then.
387
Yes.
388
That require crap.
389
And I actually had, it was actually worse.
390
But I had already gotten some stuff off.
391
There was actually another 10 grand or so that I've paid off over the last two years.
392
Good news is your car is currently on time.
393
Everything else is f*ing.
394
Yeah.
395
I got hit with those late fees, but otherwise, my car's been, like, I can't, because I can't, I live in Texas.
396
I can't, like, not have a car. So, unfortunately.
397
Sad fact.
398
Yes.
399
The so you have eighteen thousand six hundred seven dollars in collections total death
400
Okay, and military star do you spend on it no good I wouldn't yeah I have it
401
It's the thing it's locked away in a safe
402
Literally do not touch your debt comes out to twenty five thousand six hundred seventy two dollars God, that hurts to hear.
403
But your minimum monthly payment is like nothing.
404
Yeah, I really have no excuses for not having things paid on time.
405
Well, we can get your – when we're building out your budget here that you should actually stick to,
406
we have more exact numbers than we typically do, which I appreciate.
407
Your rent is $1 ,086.
408
electric 188 sewer 37 water 24 gas 20 trash 15 pest control 3 stormwater
409
and admin 3 trash admin 3 stormwater 182
410
and it looks like you got a little refund for the previous month gas or something
411
potentially yeah i think so yeah
412
so yeah my rent is actually really really cheap for the area i live in
413
so i'm very lucky um a lot of that was actually
414
because the apartment i was supposed to move into originally had really bad water damage
415
and i showed up the day of to move in
416
and they put me in the wrong and they gave me a new apartment
417
but the apartment that they gave me was actually just a one bedroom.
418
So then they upgraded me again.
419
And so I'm expecting my rent to go up to later this year.
420
They haven't indicated what it will go up by?
421
Not yet.
422
Um, I know from one of my neighbors that they raised theirs, uh, by $300.
423
So, um, but theirs was also higher than it, than mine is mine's.
424
I'm not sure, but I need to talk to them.
425
I've got another six or seven months I think until my lease is up
426
but I want to talk to my leasing office well beforehand
427
and know what it's gonna be sure 1382 .5 for rent
428
and utilities which okay that's that's right on
429
that 30 % cusp of where rent and utilities should be
430
so you're right on it so
431
if it goes up your income either needs to go up
432
or you need to move
433
because that's as much as you can afford what's your internet on a monthly basis uh
434
it's currently a hundred dollars i believe phone bill uh 140 with 90 of it covered oh
435
so yeah technically 50 yeah cell phones financed uh yes it is then again your car minimum monthly payment 157.
436
yes three these here collections are not minimum payments
437
but we got to save up large chunks of money to be able to negotiate the settlement
438
and that's my problem I'm really bad at saving those large chunks
439
I'm really good at little bits yeah we're gonna we're putting and we're gonna put a plan together okay car insurance
440
That's also pretty expensive, I think.
441
So I have USAA.
442
It's currently around $300 something.
443
It's more than your car payment.
444
Yes.
445
Double your car payment.
446
It is.
447
Gross.
448
Okay.
449
I'm going to do groceries at $300.
450
Why doesn't your girlfriend work?
451
She just, well, so she can't drive.
452
And she doesn't have a car.
453
And she had a job before she moved in.
454
but she's from Pennsylvania.
455
And so how it kind of worked was we had been planning for her to move down here
456
and she was applying to some places, but we had the date set for her to move in
457
after the wedding that I went to because she was coming with me.
458
So it just made the most sense financially for us to come back together.
459
And so she's been trying to find a job for the last six months
460
but hasn't had a lot of luck with remote work
461
or anything that's like really super close by but
462
so you're covering groceries yes I also cover
463
she has a credit card payment that's $69 a month
464
she needs to be a big girl go get her job
465
she can work at a coffee shop you shouldn't be paying for
466
that yeah um there's actually a coffee shop she's applied to a couple of times specifically
467
that's kind of close uh there's just
468
she hasn't had any luck getting the coffee shops does she have a bad resume uh
469
i don't know i've never actually seen her resume really uh she's worked at uh tart oh no
470
so she's worked at walmart CVS, CVS Pharmacy, and I think she's had a couple other jobs,
471
but her last job was at a pharmacy. Are you okay?
472
Yeah.
473
You good?
474
Want tissues?
475
I just said, yeah.
476
Could we get some tissues, please?
477
Yeah.
478
That's okay.
479
Talk me through it.
480
What's happening?
481
Thanks.
482
very natural to cry there is no issues with it whatsoever
483
I am a crying myself yeah I had a feeling I would that's the wrong
484
but I mean it's really just like hearing it
485
yeah sorry but it's a natural reaction
486
when everything gets laid out for the first time to show what the full situation is,
487
it is very natural for that to build up into a situation where the emotional response is overwhelming.
488
But in a way, that's a good thing because it is showing that you recognize what the situation looks like.
489
And once the situation is recognized, what it looks like, we can then come together
490
and do what is necessary to make sure that the emotions you're feeling now of the overwhelminess of the situation
491
is never presented to you again because we get out of it and we make your life so much better.
492
Agreed?
493
Oh yeah, I agree.
494
And it's like every time I spend money, it hurts.
495
Do you feel like a compulsionary almost addiction to the way you spend money on certain things?
496
Well, so I went a good while, um, not really having, so especially
497
while I was like doing like working my business stuff because I was doing 3D level design and IT work.
498
And so I just had contract agreements and it was going pretty well.
499
It was just very, very demanding for the amount of work.
500
So I just, I couldn't afford to like grow, but I also necessarily like,
501
I got in this habit of just pay everything I can when I have the money.
502
And then, uh -huh.
503
Anything else you just, like, blow?
504
Yeah.
505
Yeah.
506
So how much is her credit card bill?
507
$69 a month right now.
508
What's her balance?
509
I have no idea.
510
So you don't even know how long it'll last?
511
She won't tell me.
512
You shouldn't pay it if she won't tell you.
513
That's not something I want to tell you while you're in this situation.
514
But, I mean, that's something you need to hear.
515
If you are paying it for her and you have no insight into it,
516
that is – it sucks to say you being take advantage of as much as you could be.
517
Yeah.
518
Really.
519
And I mean I see – like I want to have a life with her.
520
So I see a lot of – Like, you know, everything is like us stuff.
521
And I think, you know, she's trying to like protect me from it.
522
So it's not just stressing me out more, but it stresses me out so much.
523
You need to know what it is.
524
You need to sit down and say, if I'm helping you with this and if we have a future together,
525
then we need to be on the same page.
526
In order to be on the same page, I need to know what this looks like.
527
I would say that you don't even pay for it in general
528
because it's not your responsibility and she does need to put some big girl pants on
529
and get even the crappiest job in the world just temporarily so she can work her way out of it.
530
And I'm willing to have that conversation with her on a financial audit.
531
That being said, when it comes to your situation, which is why we are here, you shouldn't pay for it either way,
532
but you a billion percent shouldn't even come close to putting a penny towards it unless you know the balance on it.
533
If she is still spending money on it, that's my main concern.
534
What if she's racking up more debt on it and you're just paying for it? and of course interest rate and stuff.
535
That's important to know as well.
536
But you shouldn't be touching it if she's still spending on it.
537
You should run away as quick as you can
538
if she is still spending on it and you're paying for it and she doesn't agree to stop spending on it.
539
But she at least needs to let you know how much it is.
540
But that's scary.
541
I need you to know that is almost disgusting.
542
Disgusting.
543
Yeah, I expected that she was going to find some work by now.
544
but really it's just like it's not that she doesn't make some money
545
and doesn't try and when she has it she will pay it on her own
546
and a lot of it is really just
547
that like she does 3d modeling stuff do she'd like she's really good at blender
548
and stuff like that so she'll she's been trying to make assets
549
that she can sell which it can be so can be good about
550
that as a side hustle until that's fully sustainable she has to have something that
551
because I'm guessing you buy all her groceries I know yeah right
552
now I pay for everything you pay for much okay
553
I there is more to know before making a concrete decision
554
or a concrete statement but I need to be as honest as possible
555
and let you know that I am instinctively thinking
556
that you are being taken advantage of here and I mean I can understand why that's the immediate thought, especially just laid out.
557
It's not really that.
558
It's more of like, she's had health problems in the past.
559
But also, I see a lot of similarities between my own parents and my parents' relationship and mine,
560
and my parents were never good with money. so
561
like I'm trying to fix
562
that mistake before it's like worse I guess well the start of
563
that is just flat out saying hey sorry we're not married we do not have
564
that legally binding thing so I will take care of the rent
565
because it's my apartment but I cannot take care of your debt
566
if we're married that's a different story I shouldn't be taking care of your groceries
567
because what we can do is have a combined grocery fund that we do as a household
568
and we can buy groceries from there, but I cannot take care of everything
569
because I myself am trying to get out of a pretty
570
dire situation to set us up for success in general if we have a future.
571
Long story short, no.
572
The plan has been that once she gets a job that we would both take
573
once she gets a job is the thing though, and I bet if I actually had true insights into her,
574
and I bet she tells you oh I plan to hear,
575
I plan to hear, if I had true insights into it and if I were a betting person
576
And I would say that she's half right now.
577
I mean, yeah, she definitely hasn't been putting like, I mean, I don't want to make this about like, you know, like my girlfriend.
578
No, it shouldn't be.
579
But there is the attachment of you paying for all her stuff.
580
This isn't about her, but there is you paying for all her stuff.
581
So she does connect in that way.
582
Okay. But yeah.
583
Yeah.
584
We don't need to go into her further.
585
But it is important for you to know that you should not be taking care of all this stuff.
586
Yeah, I just, I love her and I want to support her too.
587
Of course, of course.
588
And sometimes the best support, as we've seen on this show as well, is by kind of telling it how it is.
589
She won't be able to financially support herself
590
and contribute to the relationship in a way if that's the agreement
591
that you guys want if she is not actually going out, making some monies, and taking care of...
592
Yeah.
593
I'm gonna have a talk with her
594
and we're gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna just let her know it's just for starters
595
that I would like to know how much she owes and
596
if she spends on it
597
so yes you should have access to be able to see a monthly sit down on
598
that credit card okay
599
if you're paying for it that's a yeah that's a good she probably gets an email statement I would assume
600
so yeah she good we I already like, you know, like for like our mail, like when we have mail come in,
601
I have that stuff forwarded to her.
602
And same thing for like my, like whenever rents do that kind of thing.
603
So she knows what the utilities are.
604
How old is she?
605
She is 23 right now.
606
Okay.
607
Yeah.
608
Okay.
609
So we have that $69 going for it.
610
I'm going to for now, and she needs to get a job as quick as she can.
611
But right now I'm going to say her food budget is $400.
612
We'll do that for the household.
613
If she wants it to be more than that for you guys, I mean, you're going to be eating like ramen and crap and hot dogs.
614
Yeah, if she wants it more than that she can contribute to that
615
But that's what it's gonna be coming from your pocket no more than 400 and things for the house
616
Toilet paper and everything else necessary to survive hundred dollars for the household no more if she wants more
617
She can contribute it to it, but that is the max you put towards it I think that's actually well I get
618
so I have the those I get free lunch from work
619
Yeah, and that actually makes a huge difference and I bring leftovers home all the time. So
620
Yeah, we
621
definitely like just having like a firm like okay we're gonna spend 300 400
622
or whatever makes it a lot easier than trying to figure out
623
because before I was setting it at like 200
624
but I was definitely overspending on lunch already or not lunch
625
but food already I've only been working the job I'm at now currently since last summer
626
and so that's also a big factor because before that I was making a lot less.
627
Yeah, for sure.
628
That makes sense.
629
Any other minimum monthly expenses that we can think of that you must take care of?
630
Not really.
631
Okay.
632
This comes out to $2 ,559.
633
The good news is you have $2 ,000 left.
634
Yes.
635
That's fantastic.
636
Right now it's getting burned.
637
Yes.
638
And that's my problem because I see that, like I've written that out and I'll be like,
639
I should have more money and then it just kind of goes poof.
640
I'm okay with getting the lunch and getting it reimbursed by the company.
641
We're totally good with that.
642
Make sure you're tracking it very clearly and get that money back on a monthly basis.
643
Whatever the thing is, get it back as soon as you can
644
because right now you're also a couple months behind on that and the amount of money that you spend on food.
645
Whatever it is, take that deduction.
646
Anything else beyond that, unless Again, she wants to pay for it or you guys do free stuff.
647
There is no fun.
648
There is no going out to eat.
649
There is nothing until your crap is cleaned up.
650
It does not exist.
651
You just can't.
652
And with $2 ,000, we can make a big difference here.
653
Big difference.
654
What I would do is immediately get rid of those two small collections.
655
I would write a check today.
656
You already said you would do that.
657
Yeah.
658
Boom.
659
Those are gone.
660
then with the $2 ,000 on a monthly basis you don't have anything in savings
661
so that first $2 ,000 I'd put in savings just to protect you with where your minimum monthly payments are
662
that you know that'll help you survive for a month
663
so $2 ,000 is in high yield savings boom never touch
664
it then the next $2 ,000 goes to your car
665
and the next $2 ,000 goes to your car
666
and the next $2 ,000 goes to your car
667
and then the next thousand dollars goes to your car so we're like end of month five at that point.
668
Yeah.
669
I think.
670
That sounds right.
671
Yeah.
672
So then the car is done.
673
And we want that to be done because it's 15 % interest.
674
You're only halfway done.
675
So a lot of the money that you're going to is starting to go towards principal versus interest.
676
However.
677
I noticed that.
678
Yeah.
679
So that's good. But still, with how much longer there is to pay this off
680
and where we need to get in life and where the interest rate is in general, kill it.
681
And you can kill it in just a few months.
682
Yeah.
683
Yeah, yeah.
684
Yeah, that's pretty much, like, I want to just destroy all my debt as fast as possible and in a year have,
685
like, be on, like, the opposite side of the zero, you know?
686
Yeah, and then what I would do with those other collections, the $1 ,691, $2 ,667,
687
$13 ,000, $18 ,000, because they're so young still
688
and you want to do things that will impact your credit you
689
that you want good credit for I would save up for each of them I'd save up like half
690
and then offer or offer half okay
691
and keep fighting with them fight them they're gonna say no the first time fight
692
that you know cuz I had done
693
that once with the I had five thousand dollars and I was
694
and I wanted to just knock out that 13 that's
695
that stupid one and I called them up
696
and I was like I have this amount of money
697
and I just wanted gone and they said no they told me no. So that's when you call them next month, do it again.
698
They say no, call them next month, do it again.
699
They say no, call them next month, do it again.
700
And then just do what you can to get it down.
701
If they need an extra thousand, you know, maybe that's their negotiation and that's fine.
702
Obviously never give them access to any account.
703
Oh yeah.
704
Never.
705
I'll give them, I'll pay them.
706
Just for anyone and everyone out there.
707
Yeah.
708
Cut them a check.
709
So in general, I think if you do half of this, which I think collections is...
710
Oh, sorry.
711
Collections in total is $18 ,000.
712
Yes, it's $25 ,000 at the cart.
713
You could save up $9 ,000 with your $2 ,000.
714
So at the end of month five, if you do another five months and save up half of that, just try to negotiate them, essentially.
715
So, I mean, this could be done the debt could be gone in 10 months that's crazy and then call it
716
another 6 months to save up a fully funded emergency fund,
717
boom you're like a year and a quarter a year and a quarter from now and your life is completely changed
718
completely changed it's the dream but the dream is only achievable
719
if you actually buckle down we are both scared of that lack of self discipline
720
you need to hold yourself accountable in some way
721
Your girlfriend holds you accountable.
722
Friends hold you accountable.
723
We'll hold you accountable by doing a checkup as well.
724
But you need to start this today and we need to say why we're doing it.
725
If we can see the reason why we're doing it because we're going to have such a better life,
726
we can all get our retirement on track.
727
If we see the reason why, then every time we go to that little drive -thru or something like that,
728
we're like, no, I want to be able to retire when I'm 16.
729
Yeah.
730
And so like I am worried about a few things, especially like right now because of my work lunches you know,
731
if I were to like leave that's one of the the perks of my job are amazing
732
and I and I really like where I'm at
733
And I plan to be there for a good little while
734
And I'm hoping to be making more and more money the longer I'm there is where I'm at.
735
It's a software company
736
Yeah, what I do in my company is like pretty low so I can I can definitely make a lot more
737
I just want to get some certifications which are paid for as long as I pass it and
738
I'm already studying for a couple
739
so with any luck I'll be like a this time next year I'll be like a junior cloud engineer
740
and have you looked at that you know that resource I put down below that course careers
741
Yes, I have I also have a phys account right now that I was actually thinking about using for just work
742
That's not good with helping you spend on certain categories
743
Yeah, I actually yeah, so that's my biggest problem is that like like I just have everything funneling through like one thing
744
And it's really hard for me to keep track
745
when I'm already like feeling like I don't have a lot of time in the day
746
Because I work 45 to 50 hours a week plus I do commission work still
747
Which actually I didn't really even mention that
748
but that's like an extra I'm expecting about another 5k or so this year last year was about 10k so
749
But yeah so I just want to put all that
750
Either way what it comes down to here is this one now what I'd recommend for you
751
for other reasons than different people.
752
I say mental health is one of the most important things.
753
I'd recommend take advantage of that health care.
754
Just see a therapist maybe twice a month and just talk about this spending,
755
you know, inclination that you have to spending and then talk about the situation that you're in,
756
how clearly overwhelming it is and how you want to get out of it and then she can help hold you,
757
or they can help hold you accountable.
758
They can really make that, I think that's the best accountability buddy you can have as a bi -weekly therapist.
759
Talk about the spending, your compulsion to do so.
760
Talk about the debt that you want to get out of.
761
Talk about the relationship and that stuff there.
762
It's so worth it.
763
I promise that will help you get to the situation faster than you could ever imagine
764
if you help take care of the mental health side of it.
765
That's a good point.
766
I've had really bad problems with accountability.
767
That's really it.
768
I know that.
769
and I want to fix it.
770
So that's why I'm here.
771
It's a good idea.
772
Whatever you do, I'm going to follow it.
773
To the T.
774
I hope so.
775
People leave here with a fire under their butt, but after a month...
776
Yeah, I've seen it.
777
We've had one successful story so far.
778
Be at least the second one.
779
Hopefully we had more before then.
780
But at least be the second one something
781
I've been doing over the last like couple of months at least well okay
782
so I own a lot of domain names which again is another expense
783
but I also sell them so every now and then I sell one
784
and it kind of makes up for it
785
and it's just it's extra money
786
but um I've got like you know I have this one I've been using sorry wallet .com
787
so whenever I type that in it just goes to your videos
788
and so I do that every time I want to not spend money
789
and it's a really good solution because then you're just like, stop going to McDonald's.
790
And it makes me not want to go get McDonald's.
791
So whatever you have to do, my man, I want you to do so well.
792
So yeah, when it just, again, when it comes down to things, a couple of things we need to check off the list.
793
Budget.
794
We we laid out in a graph what the budget is in the video, so you'll see it okay,
795
and you can write it down I'd follow that make it that in your favorite of budgeting app rocket money Ramsey's app.
796
I don't care mint
797
Whatever you need a budget doesn't matter.
798
I've tried a lot of apps I well actually so my bank just started support or being supported in rocket money,
799
so okay That's why I've been using that one
800
And so a lot of those recent subscriptions like fresh tools and a bunch of others.
801
I actually canceled through that I would cancel yeah
802
So follow the budget we need to have a very serious conversation with the girlfriend
803
I'm not going to go into all that again, but have that conversation.
804
You know what it is.
805
So we're following the budget, having the serious conversation, and then we're attacking the card debt,
806
and then we're saving up to negotiate on some of the collections.
807
And then just kill those two small collections today because it's practically nothing.
808
Literally doing that right after here.
809
Beautiful.
810
And from there, we save up the emergency fund.
811
Once the emergency fund is saved up a year and a quarter from now, or more if you bring in some more money,
812
then you're doing 20 % of your post tax at a minimum towards retirement.
813
And you'll be in a good place with your income if you do that.
814
I might amp it up to 25 % to play a little bit of catch up.
815
Okay.
816
But you could do that through your 401k by maxing it out.
817
Yeah.
818
You could do that by Roth IRA and then more through a brokerage.
819
You know, however you want to do it,
820
I would do the Roth IRA maxed out and then probably just max out your 401k if you can.
821
Okay.
822
You might not even need to do that in order to hit that 25%, but maybe you do.
823
I don't know.
824
Either way, we just need to get you in a good place where decades from now you're in a great place.
825
And then maybe you start saving up an extra 5 %
826
of your income on the side to start saving up for a down payment on a home for
827
when your credit's in a good place and we're able to put money down on some properties.
828
Yes.
829
My long -term goal is I want to get my credit into a good place.
830
I want to get my own piece of property
831
and then I would like to open up a cafe business because I'm really good at doing IT stuff.
832
And so I've been wanting to open up a cafe
833
that I'm not going to name because I don't want anybody stealing my domain names.
834
But I'm trying not to spend money.
835
Well, I have some of them.
836
But I'm trying not to spend more money right now.
837
So I want to be able to open a cafe where everybody just has like, well, people can come get free internet.
838
And then they can give me more money and get better internet.
839
It's a great idea.
840
And also good coffee, right?
841
So, um, which it helps that I don't drink coffee and I don't really like my like personal requirements are pretty low.
842
I don't really, I, my car's not that bad.
843
I, it's a Nissan Versa, right?
844
Like I couldn't find much that was like in around that tier.
845
Cause I, I pay, I got it for, I got upsold on it and it was 14 ,000, you know, which.
846
The only thing that stuck out to me is I don't know much about cars, but I do know
847
Nissan's around that year can have some sketchy transmissions.
848
Mine's been surprisingly really that's good really good.
849
Yeah I didn't need new tires recently because I had
850
Literally it happens with every yeah, it happens.
851
Yeah, so maintenance
852
All right, any final thoughts?
853
Thank you so much.
854
I really I'm following what everything that you have written down.
855
I'm gonna follow to the T.
856
So The next time I talk to you I want to have good news.
857
All right, let's do it man.
858
Let's do it Thanks.
859
Appreciate it, Caleb.
860
All right, for Paul and his Hammer Financial score, we're going to break it down by the categories and then do an aggregate.
861
For his spending and a budget, well, he has no budget and he's overspending and he's starting with basically nothing in his checking account.
862
Zero out of ten.
863
Doesn't get much worse.
864
Debt?
865
Doesn't get much worse.
866
In collections and having terrible interest on the car loan?
867
Zero out of ten.
868
Retirement for his age?
869
Obviously, he's very behind for his age, but he does still have some there.
870
Two out of ten.
871
Emergency fund?
872
No emergency fund zero out of 10 real estate not in real estate zero out of 10
873
so right now hammer financial score 0 .2 out of 10.
874
make sure to check out all the things like the resources in the description below
875
and don't forget to follow my instagram and twitter thanks

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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione

Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “His Young Girlfriend Is Stealing His Money”. Questo video contiene 875 frasi e 8607 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 48:53. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 176 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.

Vocaboli chiave di questo video

15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:

ParolaPronunciaSignificato
assessment sostantivo/əˈsɛsmənt/accertamento
expense sostantivo/ɪkˈspɛns/spesa
accountable aggettivo/əˈkaʊntəbl̩/responsabile
groceries sostantivo/ˈɡɹoʊ.s(ə.)ɹiz/spesa
discipline sostantivo/ˈdɪsəplɪn/disciplina
household aggettivo/ˈhaʊshoʊld/domestico, casalinghi
ridiculous aggettivo/ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/ridicolo
contribute verbo/kənˈtɹɪb.jut/contribuire
utility sostantivo/juːˈtɪlɪti/utilità
coin sostantivo/ˈkoɪ̯n/moneta
insight sostantivo/ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/introspezione, approfondimento
portfolio sostantivo/pɔːtˈfəʊ.liˌəʊ/cartella
tire verbo/ˈtaɪ̯ɚ/affaticarsi
buck sostantivo/ˈbʌk/Maschio di cervo, antilope
negotiate verbo/nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/negoziare

I phrasal verb che sentirai

ParolaSignificato
save up verboraggruzzolare
go back verbotornare
go up verbosalire
add up verbosommarsi
go out verbouscire, andare fuori
open up verboaprire
check out verboinvestigare
clean up verboripulire

Frasi da ripetere

Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:

  • What is your take home?
  • Is that your only retirement?
  • What do you have it invested in?
  • Why haven't you just paid them off?
  • Why doesn't your girlfriend work?

La grammatica di questo video

Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:

StrutturaNel video
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corsoI've been trying · it's just not been working · have been spending
Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adessoyou've educated · have you declined · haven't actually gotten
Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fawill be declined · is just flooded · is broken
Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosasituation, which is · certifications which are

Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione

Chi parla usa 274 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, we're, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.

  • I suoni “th”: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
  • I suoni “sh” e “zh”: collections /kəˈlɛkʃənz/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, trash /tɹæʃ/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, tissue /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/
  • Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: ridiculous /ɹɪˈdɪk.jə.ləs/, utility /juːˈtɪlɪti/, portfolio /pɔːtˈfəʊ.liˌəʊ/, negotiate /nəˈɡəʊ.ʃi.eɪt/, comparative /kəmˈpæɹətɪv/

I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:

  • /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: household /ˈhaʊshoʊld/, hammer /ˈhæmɚ/, wherever /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/
  • Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: collections /kəˈlɛkʃənz/, assessment /əˈsɛsmənt/, expense /ɪkˈspɛns/, groceries /ˈɡɹoʊ.s(ə.)ɹiz/, household /ˈhaʊshoʊld/
  • /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: comparative /kəmˈpæɹətɪv/, lab /læːb/, trash /tɹæʃ/, cancel /ˈkæn.sl̩/, hammer /ˈhæmɚ/

Come esercitarsi con questo video

  1. Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
  2. Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
  3. Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come assessment, expense, accountable.

Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?

Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.

Tecnica dello shadowing: leggi la guida completa passo dopo passo →