Shadowing Practice: How To Make Your First Date Fun And Easy - Learn English Speaking with Video
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you know, trying to be formal.
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Like, guys, one thing you want to do is like cut through that formal bullshit as early on as possible.
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And the quicker you can just be real with the girl and get her to be herself, the better.
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The longer you have this bullshit front facade, Mr. Formal Romantic Man, the harder it's going to be to get with this woman.
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Okay.
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A couple things about the date itself, guys.
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Keep in mind when you're kind of planning your dates out me personally I have two
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or three go -to dates that I run I don't have a huge catalog of dates
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that I do I just do two different dates
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and I get very good at running that specific date
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because it's a very similar routine
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and every time I'm going on a date with a girl
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it's the same routine I think this is very important for you guys
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because it it's easy you don't want to have a brand new experience every time
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and then you're you're the girl's giving you new objections
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because you're trying to take her to a different spot when you can run the same date every time
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it's more likely that you're going to hear the same objections
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and the escalation is going to go down the same way
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and it just becomes very routine
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and the less you have to think about all of
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that shit the more you can actually put into focusing on the girl in the moment okay
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so you don't want to be too in your head about all of
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that stuff try to develop a nice easy routine
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that incorporates all the theory that I'm discussing tonight and do
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that date over and over and over and just keep running girls through that same date.
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Okay.
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And you'll get very good at running a first date.
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So a couple of things about the first date, low investment, meaning it needs to be low investment on both of our ends.
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That way it's not a big deal.
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Like if I live like an hour and a half from New York city, if I told the girl,
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Hey, I want to take you on a five -star dinner to New York city.
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And it's probably going to be like a $500 meal.
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I'm going to drive us there in a limo, this and that.
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You want to avoid all of that.
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It should be something so small and such little investment because the lower the investment it is, the less big of a deal it is,
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the less pressure there is on the girl.
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And also the less pressure she feels like, I mean, why would this guy be spending so much money on me?
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And if he doesn't even fucking know me, it's the first date.
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Okay.
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So you don't want to be doing any of that shit guys.
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When do you take the girl on like a really nice dinner date later on
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when things are already going smoothly
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and honestly I feel like she deserves it low investment inexpensive low pressure
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that's what the first date is every time okay I don't recommend spending a lot of money
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that doesn't mean you don't spend any money
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but you know depends on your financial situation when I was a little bit cheaper and more broke, my dates were pretty much $0.
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That's cool.
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Right now, I don't mind spending 50 bucks on a date
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because I'm at a point where I'm only dating women that are of a certain caliber.
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If you're just getting good at this and you're starting to practice,
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I recommend you date pretty frequently because the first couple of times you go on a date, you're going to be fucking nervous.
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You're going to be fucking nervous.
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I remember me personally, four or five years ago, i have distinct memories of like girls coming to my house
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and i'm fucking walking around the house like painting around the
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house like nervous as fuck like i just remember being nervous knowing
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that there was like an attractive girl on her way to my house i don't know why i guess
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because i was inexperienced and i didn't know what the fuck was going to happen
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but i remember being nervous about
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that shit it's at a point
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now where i just went on probably the hottest date i've ever been on maybe like three months ago
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and i wasn't nervous at all literally i was picking her up like
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she was nervous ironically enough the girl was i could tell she was nervous
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when she got in the car and it's just
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so real relieving once you've gotten to a point where you're just like there's nothing to worry about
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because i've gone through it so many times okay
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so that's what i want you guys to do start going on dates
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if you go out and you get a girl's number even
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if you don't think she's that attractive
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and you're like i just got the number but like i don't know if i would date her, dude, go on the fucking date,
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go out and learn something.
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Honestly, honestly, you don't need to marry that girl.
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You don't need to marry that girl, but you will learn something in the process that you can apply to the hotter girl later on.
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If I didn't ever date any of those mediocre looking women, I wouldn't have been able to date the really hot girl.
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Okay.
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So don't wait until the fucking smoking hot girl comes along to finally go on a date.
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You know what I'm saying?
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And the same thing with approaching when you're out, like approach girls, even if you're not that attracted to them,
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because you never know who's that next hottest girl that's going to walk in your life.
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And you'll be glad that you've already ran the date several times.
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OK, so a couple of different date ideas, again, cheap, inexpensive, low investment, low pressure, either doing an activity at your house,
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doing an activity at the girl's house, doing an activity nearby your house is ideal.
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So for me, what are a couple of things I like to do?
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I already told you, ideally, she comes here.
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If she doesn't come here, ideally, we're walking my dog at this park nearby my house.
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There's a nice lake that is right down the street from me
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that there's like a wide open area with a beach and a little outdoor bar.
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I like to go over there, bring my dog during sunset, walk the dog with the sun setting over the lake,
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sit down by the beach area a little bit, walk over to the bar, sit my dog on the outdoor patio over there,
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and get a drink with the girl I'm with while we're just sitting out watching the sunset with the dog.
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And since I brought the dog, naturally the next step would be to go back to my house
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because I have to bring the dog home at some point.
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So simple, low investment, nice date because beautiful scenery.
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We can walk around.
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There's several different locations at the place and I'm kind of like the tour guide of the area.
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If you think about it, I'm like showing her around i'm leading her i'm talking about the area
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there's a lot of shit to talk about
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because it's a nice view there's a beach
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there's there's this nice little bar my dog's
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there there's a bunch of different locations we're going to be at within
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that area so it's constantly changing like we're not just in one fucking spot the entire time we're bouncing around
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staying at different areas like 15 minutes at a time
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and then also there's a lot of shit to talk about in the area okay
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so that's that's one date i like to do that's kind of low pressure
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sometimes you'll get to a point where the girl just isn't comfortable doing
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that even and she just prefers we meet out somewhere kind of rare
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but it happens um if that's the case and i
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and i really want to see this girl i'll go out
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and do that okay sometimes you gotta sometimes you gotta just do
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that first date to get it out of the way
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and then typically the follow -up to that would be the girl coming to my house.
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Because the reason she's not coming straight to my house is she's just not comfortable enough with me.
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And if that's the case, cool.
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I'll go out for a little bit, build a little bit more comfort connection, spiking the attraction throughout.
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And then the next time we meet up, we'll probably be at my house or at her house.
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And I'll find a way to do that.
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We're not just going to go hang out at my house.
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Just like how when you're going for the pool and all these other things, you're going to the house to do an activity,
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whether that's cooking smoking hookah playing with my dog walking my dog near my house um smoking weed like whatever
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you guys are into if she's like into massages
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and stuff talk about massages if she's into music we're talking about listening to music
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if there's a cool movie that i've been wanting to show her it's the movie
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if you could see all these different activities are activities
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that are going on at the house you know
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i have a basketball court in my backyard i have a trampoline in my backyard.
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I have nice little wood area that I walk through and hike sometimes in the backyard.
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A lot of different activities going on in my house.
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So those are a couple of different date ideas.
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Based on where you guys live, you're going to have to figure out some scenarios that are near your house that are cheap,
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inexpensive ideas you can do.
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Or worst case scenario, you go out and get a drink with the girl.
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That's another very simple, socially acceptable idea to do for a date.
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That's not that expensive.
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You probably end up spending 20 bucks, 30 bucks at the most.
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A couple of things to mention when the date starts,
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I'm pretty low energy, lower energy than you guys would expect because there's no fucking rush, man.
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Like don't feel the need and don't feel the pressure to be like running this amazing date.
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Because when you do that, ironically, it comes off somewhat try hard and she can see
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that you're like in your head about making sure it's a good date.
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And as opposed to when she comes through and I'm just like, Hey, what's up?
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Yeah, come on in.
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And I'm just chilling and I'm not even trying to keep the conversation going.
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And I'm just completely relaxed.
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I may even be like finishing up some work at the moment.
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I was like, Hey, come on in.
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I'm just finishing this up or come on in.
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Yeah, I'm still cooking.
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And I'll just have her like playing with the dog in the background.
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And like, I'm not even talking that much.
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I'm almost letting her start to run the conversation.
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I want her to be participating, okay?
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By you trying to hold the conversation the whole time, you're actually failing to let her participate.
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Pull back a little bit in the beginning.
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Start it off slow and let her contribute to get the conversational vibe building, okay?
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Unless it's really awkward.
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If I feel like she's just being awkward, I'll start having conversation.
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I'm not just going to sit in silence for 10 minutes and be like, let's go bitch start talking you know it's not like that
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but you know give her an opportunity
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and also the other reason I started as low energy is that once I start kicking up the intensity
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it feels like it's progressing you know
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if I start very high energy I actually have to maintain
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that energy the entire time just for it to feel the same way
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because a girl she typically goes by how she's feeling moment
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to moment basis meaning is she feeling better than she was like 10 minutes
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Is she feeling better than she was? five minutes ago or 30 minutes ago.
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So as long as the vibe starts down here and it just slowly starts amping up and amping up and amping up,
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it's easier to go that way as opposed to starting off high energy, you know?
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So start it off, be relaxed, no pressure on the girl.
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We're just chilling.
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Okay.
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Something to keep in mind at the beginning of the date.
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Another thing is wherever you guys are meeting out, find a way to sit next to her.
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Try to avoid sitting across the table from I fucking hate
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that dude I hate that
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because it puts the fucking puts the date into this interview type mode where it's like
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so tell me about yourself oh so what do you do
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and it literally you're sitting across
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you know trying to be formal like guys one thing you want to do is like cut through
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that formal bullshit as early on as possible
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and the quicker you can just be real with the girl and get her to be herself, the better.
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The longer you have this bullshit front facade, Mr. Formal romantic man, the harder it's going to be to get with this woman.
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The quicker she can sit down with me.
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And what he said, you can't touch her if you're sitting across from her either.
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So that's the reason if we're sitting at a square table, at the very least, I'm going to just tell her, sit next to me.
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Even if she can't sit right next to me, I'm going to have her sit at the adjacent spot on the table.
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Oftentimes, you need to actively bring that up.
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I'll give you one example.
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I went on a date with this girl.
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I drove to her house, actually, and picked her up.
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We went to go get drinks near her house.
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We get to the venue, which is a nice little outdoor ...
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It's an indoor bar with outdoor seating, and there's a fire pit as well, like nearby.
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The fire pit wasn't turned on yet.
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I wanted to sit at the fire pit because, obviously, the seating is all right next to each other.
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So if we're sitting at the fire pit or if we're sitting at the bar, we're naturally going to be sitting right next to each other.
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That's the position that you want to be.
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Okay.
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You don't want to be across from her, but the fire pit wasn't on yet.
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So they sat us at these tables and she, it was a double table, two chairs and two chairs.
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And she goes to sit on the other side at, we haven't even sat in down yet, but like, as I'm getting to the table,
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she goes to sit on the other side.
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I called that shit out instantly.
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I was like, I was like, nah, baby.
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I was like, what are you doing?
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I was like, sit over here.
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I just call that shit out.
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Don't be afraid to do that guys
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and it's not weird as long as you don't make
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it a big deal as long as you can just say
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that in a way
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that's not like hey like do you want to sit over here like no
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it's just like I'm laughing about big babe what are you doing
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I was like I'll sit over here
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that's how it needs to be it's not a fucking big deal it's almost like funny
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and I'm just taking the lead at the whole thing
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so I said that
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and she was like she was like whoa whoa not yet
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not yet at least let me get a glass of wine first cool I want her to say
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that that's cool I'd rather that I said that
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and she says let me at least get a glass of wine first as opposed to me never saying it
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and she's sitting across this is this is very important in terms of the escalation guys
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because I want my intent to be clear from the fucking beginning
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I want my intent to be clear from the beginning because
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if I never say anything and I never touch her
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and then later on it's just like there's this fucking drum roll building up is like okay when's
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it gonna when's the vibe gonna when's he gonna make the move you don't want
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that you want to be escalating from the fucking very second you're with this girl
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and and the way you do that is in very small small small steps
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and it starts with something as subtle as what are you doing babe like sit over here no no yeah
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I want you to sit over here there's plenty of room over here
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and even if she gives me resistance
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and is like whoa whoa let's slow down let me at least get a glass of wine first cool all
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I said was I laughed
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I was like okay all right all right let the we'll let her get her glass of wine
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you know blah blah blah
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but at least it was known and discussed
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and notice how she said let me at least get my glass of wine first implying
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that she was going to move over
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so what happened was she did get the glass of wine we started talking
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and then at some point when we finished the glass I brought up the idea
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that we just sit over at the fire pit you know
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I was like I want to sit over by the fire pit let's go sit on yet
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so we asked the waiter
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when he came back was like hey is there any way you could turn on the fire pit right now
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and he was like yeah i'll go turn it on he goes turns it on at
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that point we finished our glass we ordered another round
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and then we went and sat down at the at the fire pit
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which is nice
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because now the sun's going down it's starting to get a little chilly
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it was the summer
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i'm sitting right next to this girl to the point where i'm pretty much touching her just like how
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if you watched game 106 and 107 i'm i'm pretty much shoulder to shoulder with this girl at this point,
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which is a great position to be in, especially when there's a little bit of alcohol involved and especially because we're already on the date.
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This is a great position to be in.
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Now I can be getting physical whenever I want.
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I can touch her on her shoulder.
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I can put my hand on her thigh.
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Anytime I make a little joke, I can fucking push her or if she does some kind of eye roll at me or says something stupid,
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I got no problem.
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pushing her or getting a little physical
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or like she does something cute
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i can fucking hug her um by the way guys my arm is completely tattooed right now
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so i can't move this arm so
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if you're wondering why i'm just like doing all of this with one arm my arm's fucking dead right now
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so a couple couple key things
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that i already pointed out cheap low pressure inexpensive date starting
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off the date pretty low energy low vibe um bouncing locations
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meaning the date started off like we were in my car together.
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Then I drove us to a place.
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We got out there.
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I walked with her.
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We sat down at the table.
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Now we're at the table together talking.
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From the table, we moved over to the fire pit.
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From the fire pit, we chilled over there.
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And then when it was time, we got back in the car.
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Now we're both back in the car.
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And then we drove back to her place.
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And then we went inside her place.
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So we were car, table, fire pit, car, her place.
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Five locations.
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I mean, Yeah, the car's two different times, but I'm telling you, it's still a new location in the sequence, okay?
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As opposed to you're just meeting a girl somewhere and just staying with her in that one spot.
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Try to find a way to move around with her, whether that's even just going from the inside of the bar to like chilling outside.
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Find a way that you guys can like bounce locations with the girl, okay?
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Sit next to her, start the physicality, start with a little bit of intent, just a little bit, okay?
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So I'm sitting down with her, I'm getting a little physical with her.
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She's a really hot girl.
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I'm not going to compliment her too much, man.
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She knows she's fucking hot.
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She knows she's fucking hot.
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I don't need to go crazy with it.
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But what I do do is like I hold really good eye contact.
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I'm talking like we're right fucking here.
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So I'm holding like really good eye contact.
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I'm smiling with her.
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And I'm talking just with this kind of like a vibe, okay?
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And when you can talk like this and you can communicate like this, it creates something within the girl.
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So along with the physicality and along with a little bit of push -pull, a little bit of teasing, a little bit of dissing,
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as long as all of those things are in placement, there's going to be a good amount of attraction.
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Another thing to remember is she's already out on a date with you.
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She wouldn't come out on a date with you if she wasn't attracted to you.
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So you can assume attraction on the date.
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Otherwise, she wouldn't be there.
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So keep that in mind as well.
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Another thing, I'm escalating throughout the date.
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It's a progressive escalation.
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I'm not going too far into this, guys, because it's really in game 106 and 107.
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Go back and refer to when I'm on the couch with the girl and the way I'm progressively getting closer, more physical, more flirtatious.
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It's just building and building and building throughout the date.
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Okay?
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Another thing.
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I'm not waiting until the very end of the date to kiss her either, by the way.
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This was something I used to struggle with.
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I would always wait until there was this perfect moment to kiss the girl.
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There is never a perfect moment.
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There will never be a perfect moment.
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I promise you there will never be a perfect moment
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You need to actively be escalating up till that point.
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Okay If you're trying to have sex with this girl
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If you wait until you're saying goodbye at the end of the date, there's a zero percent chance
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You're gonna have sex with her and i've been in
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that position guys I've been on several different dates where I never made a move
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and then it was time where the girl was fine
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Like all right, I guess i'm gonna go
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and then I walk her out to the garage
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and we start making out and that was our first kiss and then she leaves.
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I could have kissed her like 90 minutes before that.
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Could have kissed her 90 minutes before that.
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And the vibe would have been way stronger for the rest of the date as well.
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Because once you kiss, it's kind of like a mutual agreement that has been shown that we like each other.
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So I would like, ideally, I want to kiss this girl as soon as possible.
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Not that I'm rushing and pressuring her to kiss me, but like the second I see the green light,
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I want to go for it because it's just going to strengthen the rest of the date.
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And the more time I have with her after we've already kissed, the better chance that I can escalate things further.
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Okay.
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So don't wait until the very end of the date to kiss her.
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And that really ties back to start escalating and start getting physical as early as possible.
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The sooner you start getting physical and break the touch barrier and the sooner you're getting close with her,
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the sooner you're going to be able to kiss her.
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If you never do any of these things, you never show any intent,
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you're never push -pull or complimenting or teasing or doing any of that shit with her,
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it's going to be very hard to just blatantly go and kiss her.
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That was something I struggled with for a long time.
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I never showed a lot of intent with any of these girls.
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And then I would just wait until the end of the date and then try to escalate.
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And I would probably end up kissing her.
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And then we would go on a second date
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and then probably the same thing would happen later on in the date I would kiss her
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and then maybe things would escalate from there
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or maybe we would have to go on a third date
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and then things escalate from there okay there's just no need to to do all of
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that I'm not saying you need to fuck her the first night
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but the earlier you're escalating the earlier you start getting close
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and physical and building a connection and kissing from my experience the the better things will be.
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moving forward from there okay um
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so multiple locations i was already talking about paying for the
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bill do you always pay for the bill no do i always split the bill no
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it depends man the girl
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that i picked up um i i just felt it was right
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that i paid the bill with this girl why i don't know
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i guess she was older than me she's financially stable she has a kid she's like really really fucking hot
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and i didn't mind paying for the bill
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and i wanted to pay for the bill you know
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I knew she was going to be hosting me back at her house afterwards,
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and I just felt like it was the right thing to do in that moment.
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So what I did was we were on the date.
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We were at the fire pit.
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We were getting super close.
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We didn't kiss, by the way, but we got very close, and I just didn't feel like it was time to kiss her.
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But at one point, I did get in very close, and I ended up, like, kissing her on the cheek, and then I pulled it away.
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Like, oh, I got to calm down, or we need to calm down, or whatever the fuck happened, right?
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But I did bring it to
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that point at some point i went inside to pee i took a piss inside
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and i went up to the bartender while i was inside
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and i was like hey i'd like to pay for the bill i paid for the bill
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while i went to the bathroom
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so she didn't even know i paid for the bill
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and then i went inside pissed came back out
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and then we kept vibing
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and at a point where it was starting to get dark out
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she was like are you ready to head back
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we could go like smoke hookah she was she was big in the hookah too
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so she was like we could go smoke hookah at my house
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and i was like cool let's go i got up
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and i was like yeah grab my arm
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and she was like oh what about the bill
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i was like i already took care of it let's go it's it's it doesn't seem like much
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but dude that's i could tell that in her mind
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when i had already done that that was like
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that was like oh that was smooth like like a nice little like plus one you know
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because it was like if you have money and
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and you're coming from the right frame on the date
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i don't see a a problem with paying for the bill guys honestly i really don't
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and it's at a point where i actually prefer to pay for the date my mentality is kind of like
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if i'm the man and you're out with me i'm gonna take care of you
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if you're at that point if you're literally just dating these girls for the experience
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and you're you're on a budget you know maybe be a little bit more conservative
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but that that's my perspective on things but i could tell you
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that when i did all
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that it was a nice little plus one
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i was like yeah just grab my mom i already paid for it let's go
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and i just walked her out to the car
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i actually opened the car door put her in the passenger got back into the into the driver
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and then we drove back to her house um so that was like how i picked her up, how I brought her to the date,
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what I did on the date.
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And by the way, conversational topics on the date.
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It's a lot of get to know you while sprinkling in flirtation and jokes and sexual innuendo and teasing.
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It's all of that stuff.
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There's not like one specific topic I talk about.
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Sometimes the girl brings up a topic.
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The thing is just being aware of when the topic
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isn't going the way you want to go and making a conscious decision to cut that conversational thread.
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That's what's more important.
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Okay.
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That's what's more important.
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So sometimes if the girl's just going on a rant, I could tell she's super passionate about something,
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but I could tell it's like kind of killing the vibe.
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I'll just cut the thread.
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You know, if she starts talking about, I don't know, let's say she starts talking about politics or some shit.
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I'll literally just be like, I'll find a topic within that conversation.
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And I'll just start talking about that thing
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if she's talking about like Donald Trump
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and he was just at his latest rally in California
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I might just be like you know what I've actually never been to California
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I thought it was like a good vacation spot have you ever gone out
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there you see how I kind of like took the context
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and just got rid of the political aspect of things and now we're talking about
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vacationing in Cali so like if you guys feel
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that the conversation is getting off topic
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and it's just irrelevant to what you guys are doing you know let it go for like 30 seconds
431
but at a certain point just cut the thread
432
if you want to keep the vibe going the way you want it going okay um
433
so actually let's keep going with this one date example
434
and then i'll show you guys a couple different date examples what happened after
435
that i got into the car we hadn't kissed at this point we just got pretty close
436
and there was a good vibe at the uh at the bar
437
and and then again we discussed smoking hookah back at her house
438
and obviously since she invited me it's a good sign of interest
439
so you know we go back to her house
440
i parked the car we go inside i'm just chill man I'm not in some fucking rush to fuck this girl.
441
Okay.
442
I picked her up at like seven 15 and now it's like nine 30 PM and we're back at her house.
443
Okay.
444
I'm just chilling, man.
445
There's no fucking rush.
446
No rush.
447
We get back to her house.
448
She starts up.
449
We're in the kitchen.
450
We're setting up the hookah.
451
I'm being a little touchy, a little teasy, a little joking around with her while, you know, we're playing, we're,
452
we're setting up the hookahs up and I'm still, i'm just in this playful teasing fun flirty kind of a vibe okay
453
that's the vibe you want to have on this thing it's not super serious it's not
454
so you know what is what are some characteristics that you
455
that you would like in a boyfriend you don't need to be talking about
456
that shit man do you see how serious that is it's not
457
that ever ever i'm never saying that ever it's just this light, teasing, joking vibe, you know?
458
so we set up the hookah.
459
We go over to the couch.
460
We bring the hookah over to the couch.
461
We're sitting on the couch.
462
She's sitting pretty far away from me.
463
And again, at one point I was like, yo, can you come sit over here?
464
And she's like, what?
465
I was like, yes, can you come sit over here?
466
I want you to sit over here.
467
I want you to sit next to me.
468
Right?
469
And there's no shame in saying that to the girl.
470
I'm telling you, it's a huge thing.
471
It seems subtle.
472
It seems like nothing, but it's very important, especially with girls that aren't actively participating and naturally doing that.
473
I call that shit out because if I don't call it out, it just kind of shows her it's okay for her to be over there.
474
It's really not okay if I'm out on a date with you.
475
I don't want that.
476
I want you fucking next to me.
477
I want you next to me.
478
And I'll straight up tell that to the girl.
479
Yeah, no, I want you next to me.
480
What do you mean?
481
Yeah, no, it's fucking cold in here.
482
I want some body heat, help me out, be a good host.
483
Okay.
484
That's the vibe.
485
It's not even about the words that I said, but notice how I had this playful delivery.
486
Like I found some bullshit excuse to justify why I want her next to me.
487
That's not the truth.
488
It's not that it's not that it's cold in here and body heat's the most efficient way for me to warm up.
489
That's not what it is.
490
You know, it's just, it's this playful demeanor of look, I want you close to me.
491
Okay.
492
And there's no shame in doing that, dude.
493
It's a great fucking thing.
494
But again, it's verbalizing my intent of like, look, I'm not apologetic for being attracted to you, and I want you sitting close to me,
495
and I want to kiss you.
496
I don't say those things, but my actions are conveying, I like you.
497
I'm attracted to you.
498
I want to kiss you.
499
I will fuck you.
500
I'm not apologetic about any of that, and I'm not going to make you uncomfortable about any of those things either.
501
OK, that's what's all subcommunicated.
502
So we're sitting on the couch and we're just vibing, get to know you.
503
I talked a lot about my past.
504
I talked a lot about insecurities of mine growing up, things I'm into, as well as hers.
505
You know, we're talking back and forth.
506
I'm just getting to know the girl while joking.
507
Every so often I'm sprinkling in a little bit of like intent lightly.
508
You know, a couple, two hours goes by.
509
We had another glass or two of wine.
510
We smoked some hookah
511
and at some point we got up we were back in the kitchen we were getting close
512
and at some point she was at the at the sink like doing something by the sink
513
and I remember at that point we had already been close to each other
514
so it wasn't that crazy for me to just go up behind her
515
and I was like if she's at the sink washing dishes
516
and stuff I was like right behind her with
517
and I put my arms around her I started talking into her ear
518
while my arms are like around her
519
and my body's pressed up against her is from behind
520
and i was talking to her joking about whatever the fuck we were talking about
521
but it's a nice little move to kind of increase the
522
escalation again just a little bit just a little bit i didn't fucking go in
523
and like start making out with her neck
524
and start fucking trying to finger her from behind i didn't do anything like
525
that i just smoothly confidently went up
526
while we were still talking i'm behind her i started talking into her ear
527
and i kind of just started talking kind of like this
528
and i started laughing it was just kind of a good vibe
529
And then maybe, I think maybe with my one hand,
530
I probably ran it up the top of her back and just touched her hair just a little bit.
531
She was into it.
532
I moved in just a little bit, kissed on the cheek, and then I broke it off.
533
I pushed away.
534
And then I spun off and I kept the conversation going.
535
Okay, nice little move to kind of incorporate in there.
536
Smooth, not over the top, not conveying too, too much, but, you know, making my presence known in that moment, okay?
537
So I did that.
538
I pulled back.
539
I'm still in the kitchen.
540
I'm joking with her about something.
541
We go back into the living room, and she has this little massage chair.
542
It's like a recliner chair that you sit on that just massages you.
543
So I sat down on it, not even knowing it was a massage chair, but I sat down on it,
544
and she comes over with the remote.
545
And she's like, yeah, did you know this is a massage chair?
546
And she turns it on.
547
So I'm sitting there.
548
I was like, oh, fuck.
549
Like, it actually did feel really good.
550
I sat on it for a little bit, and then she went out of her way to,
551
like, sit on top of me while I was on the chair,
552
which was cool um that was her first actual what's the word that was the first time she actually like
553
actively participated in the escalation up until that point she had been kind of
554
just following my lead so to speak you know there was never any resistance
555
and I was actively guiding her but this was the first move
556
that she did where I was like cool she's kind of like
557
you know a little I took a little mental note in
558
that moment I was like okay cool like she went on my lap, which is awesome.
559
She sat there for a little bit.
560
We just talked.
561
But again, guys, the only reason she did that was because of all those little moves I had already made.
562
And every time I was escalating, I was the one that broke it off.
563
If I didn't do any of that, she wouldn't have just came and sat on my lap because then she would have felt like
564
I may have judged her for it.
565
But by doing all these little escalations, pulling away, making her feel comfortable,
566
making her feel like the escalation is not a big deal, guiding her through.
567
all of those other escalations and showing her there's no judgment for doing any of those things,
568
it finally gives her enough comfort with me to get to the point where she can come over
569
and sit on my lap, okay?
570
Which is a great, great sign.
571
So she did that.
572
She got up at some point.
573
Then she sat at the edge of the couch.
574
And then I got up and I went over near her and we started talking and we got in close.
575
And then I literally just got in closer and closer and we just started making out.
576
We made out for like...
577
i don't know seven seconds like something like
578
that you know it wasn't like crazy over the top
579
it was the first kiss nice first kiss five seven seconds
580
and i was i was actually getting pretty hard at
581
that moment i almost just went and put her hand on my dick
582
and hindsight i'm i kept thinking about this afterwards i was like i wonder
583
if i should have just went for it right then
584
and there but i didn't i probably in hindsight
585
if i could do it again
586
i would have i actually would even though it's very quick
587
it's okay you just calibrate in the moment you know
588
if the girls you're back at her house and she's sitting on me
589
and we've been physical and we're like four hours into the day
590
and there's a little bit of wine involved
591
and she's making out with me it's okay
592
if i just move her hand there if i see
593
that there's resistance i'll move it away before she even touches
594
it you know i have like a full two i probably have like a full second to determine
595
if there's going to be resistance you know i'm saying
596
if her hand's here and i need to move her hand to here i'll know
597
if there's resistance before she actually gets to my dick you get what i'm saying
598
so like resistance put my hand up her arm no resistance slow go even slower as we get really close
599
and no resistance then i'll just put her hand on my dick okay i didn't do it though in
600
that moment in hindsight i probably should have but it didn't really matter we kissed i pulled away
601
we kept vibing now we sat back down on the couch
602
and at this point she came up and like huddled up on my shoulder
603
and it got really close to me
604
and then the vibe changed that's what i'm saying guys
605
you don't want to wait until the end of the fucking date to um
606
you don't want to wait until the end of the date to to start going for the kiss
607
if it's almost like you wait too long
608
and the girl starts categorizing you a certain way it's almost like you missed your window
609
and there's been several dates that i went on where i never made the fucking move
610
and it costed me costed me a lot.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “How To Make Your First Date Fun And Easy”. This video has 610 sentences and 7128 words to shadow. The speech runs for 32:27. The speaker talks fast, about 220 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| vibe noun | /vaɪb/ | An atmosphere or aura felt to belong to a person, place or thing. |
| intent noun | /ɪnˈtɛnt/ | Something that is intended. |
| couch noun | /ˈkaʊ̯t͡ʃ/ | An item of furniture, often upholstered, for the comfortable seating of more than one person; a sofa. |
| topic noun | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | A subject; a theme; a category or general area of interest. |
| formal adjective | /ˈfɔɹməl/ | In accordance with established forms. |
| chill verb | /tʃɪl/ | To lower the temperature of something; to cool. |
| massage noun | /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/ | The action of rubbing, kneading or hitting someone's body, to help the person relax, prepare for muscular action (as in contact sports) or to relieve aches. |
| rush verb | /ɹʌʃ/ | To hurry; to perform a task with great haste, often not properly or without thinking carefully. |
| actively adverb | /ˈæktɪvli/ | In an active manner. |
| joking verb | /ˈd͡ʒoʊkɪŋ/ | Kidding, trying to fool. |
| tease verb | /tiːz/ | To separate the fibres of (a fibrous material). |
| participate verb | /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/ | To join in, to take part, to involve oneself (in something). |
| routine noun | /ɹuˈtin/ | A course of action to be followed regularly; a standard procedure. |
| outdoor adjective | /aʊtˈdɔː/ | Situated in, designed to be used in, or carried on in the open air. |
| attract verb | /əˈtɹækt/ | To pull toward without touching. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sit over verb | To move along a seat or bench to make room. |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
| come on in verb | Synonym of come in (“to enter”). |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. |
| get up verb | To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb. |
| bring up verb | To mention. |
| calm down verb | To become less excited, intense, or angry. |
| cut through verb | To take a shortcut through. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Honestly, honestly, you don't need to marry that girl.
- You know what I'm saying?
- I'm just finishing this up or come on in.
- I'm almost letting her start to run the conversation.
- I was like, what are you doing?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | i've ever been · you've gotten · i've gone |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was inexperienced · wasn't turned · was known |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | women that are · venue, which is · lap, which is |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 247 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: thread /ˈθɹɛd/, smooth /smuːð/, smoothly /ˈsmuːðli/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, thigh /θaɪ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: massage /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, objection /əbˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, wash /wɑʃ/
- Long words — get the stress right: participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, inexpensive /ˌɪnɪkˈspɛnsɪv/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, incorporate /ɪŋˈkɔɹ.pɚ.eɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like vibe, intent, couch.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.