Shadowing Practice: How to Run the Perfect Coffee Date (Live Infield) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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I'm gonna show you guys live infield footage of me actually running coffee dates
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because there's a right way and there's definitely a wrong way to run a coffee date.
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Now, this could be meeting up for coffee or for tea or for an ice cream,
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boba, or a smoothie, whatever the small little item is that you're meeting up to drink or eat.
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I wanna go over the specifics of this.
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And in particular, coffee seems to be the most popular small date activity.
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So when you're running a date like this, It's only ran effectively when it's in one of two ways.
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It's either coffee date A, which is going to be in the particular situation where we don't have too much time, but we do want to hang out a little bit with this woman to create a deeper connection,
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make it a little bit flirty, build up some rapport.
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But that's also going to now set us up for a more romantic date later on.
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Or it's going to be coffee date structure B, which is the coffee part of the date is just one part out of a multiple part sequence
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that you run on the date those are the only two
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times it works what you don't want to do is option c
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which is where most guys go wrong is they meet up for coffee
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and the whole day is at the coffee shop you don't just get coffee
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and sit at the cafe and you drink the coffee the whole time
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because typically you're going to get coffee during the morning
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or the early afternoon so it's definitely not a sexy vibe
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and because there's no location changes you're sitting at the cafe in public and it's early in the day, it's going to typically be a little bit more of a friendly conversation.
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So it's going to be really difficult to spark a romantic man to woman dynamic.
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There's a couple of techniques I want to get to in this video, but if you just try to run a two to three hour coffee date and that's the whole day, you're going to be in trouble.
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So it's either we do this in a very short sequence because we don't have that much time, but we still want to hang out
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and it's going to build up more rapport and vibe
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and flirtiness to now bridge the gap to having a romantic date
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or it's going to be part one in a two to three plus part sequence of a date.
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And so I wanna show you guys three different scenarios of different dates that I went on, two of them being coffee and one of them being a smoothie
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and they all had unique elements to them so I can explain the different technicalities.
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So the very first one that we'll go over is this infield clip that you'll see on the screen right now.
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I went up, I approached this woman, she was dressed very cute and fashionable, had a little bit more of an intellectual vibe to her
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we had a four minute interaction out on the street it turns out she was actually headed to work
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and she was about to do an eight hour work day
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and so because we didn't have that much time right now
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but the vibe was going well i was able to lead her right into this cafe
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that was on the street corner at the intersection of where we were talking now
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because i was able to lead her in there
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that then turned a four minute interaction into a 20 plus minute coffee date
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so in terms of structure this is more coffee date a
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and the things that you want to have in this type of sequence is making sure
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that you start the interaction with some type of intentful flirty
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line having a good vibe enthusiasm get to know you talk there should be several moments
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when you're going into the cafe where you guys can get
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a little bit closer to each other these were both getting a coffee
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or a tea in the middle of the day where we didn't have
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that much time there was multiple injections of flirtatiousness i made sure
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that at some point we were standing somewhat close to each other because
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if you're waiting in line to order you're looking at the
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menu you guys go through the line you're waiting for the
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coffee to come out those are great opportunities to get a little bit closer
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and get her more comfortable being at a close distance to you
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and just talking a little bit slower having a little bit
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of a burst of flirtatiousness you don't just meet her at the table
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and sit across from the table
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and have this very formal resume exchange type conversation like utilize
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looking at the menu getting in line moving through the line waiting for the coffee getting the coffees going
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and sitting down all of that is opportunity to get closer
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and make things flirty the other thing
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that you want to do on this coffee day is
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while you're getting to know each other you want to start seeding future opportunities where you guys could hang out.
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So as you're getting to know her, you want to figure out what she likes to do for fun, what fun things she has planned for the weekend and what she typically does on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
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The reason you want to talk about that is because we don't have too much time on this coffee date right now.
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I really just want to flirt, get her a little bit more comfortable being close to me, vibe, create a deeper connection and set up plans for the weekend
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or on an evening night where we could actually do something
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that's a little bit more sexy a little bit more flirty
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and romantic something like grabbing a drink or a mocktail
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or going out for sushi or a bite to eat
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or checking out a rooftop or going out for a fun night out
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or going to a cool date spot where there's like games
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or activities those are sexy romantic better opportunities where more intimacy
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can happen not sitting across the table at a cafe for three hours
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and the other thing i want to point out about coffee date scenario a is
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that because of how short it is and
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because of the nature of cafes and coffee shops you're likely not going to escalate that much.
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Yes, you get closer.
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Yes, you inject flirtatiousness several times.
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Yes, you set up the next date, but don't be expecting to be making out with this woman in a cafe.
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You don't want to over escalate.
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We're bridging the gap to keep it fun and flirty and create a connection for us to get onto a romantic date.
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So that is scenario A you guys want this skill set in your own life
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if you want to work with me directly to get the
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coaching the accountability the support to get to an advanced level with your dating
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and your social confidence link is down below fill out an
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application to work with me directly now let's move into coffee date scenario b
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which is the coffee is just one part of a multiple part sequence throughout the date
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so typically if you get a girl's number
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and you say hey do you like coffee we should grab
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coffee sometime don't just grab coffee you can meet her at
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the coffee shop hug display some intent tell her she looks
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really cute today get in line get close to her same
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thing as coffee scenario a you guys order the coffee you
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guys wait for the coffee maybe you guys sit close to
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each other you can drink a little bit of the coffee there
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or what i also like to do is you get the coffee to go right
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so you can sit there and drink a little bit of it
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but then you get up and actually walk with her walk
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and talk while you're drinking the coffee go somewhere outside of the cafe go to another location
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and then you could sit down somewhere
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and drink the coffee i would also recommend
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that you have multiple locations lined up
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so don't just have coffee have another little activity you could do you have a cool little place
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that has a nice view during sunset there's a nice place by the water
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that you could walk there's a cool rooftop you could go
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to to check out the view there's another place where there's games
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or you go somewhere for dessert after
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or you go somewhere for a little bit of finger food
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after you need to have a second location lined up that's not
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that far away so you can have the coffee
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and then halfway through that coffee at like 15
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or 30 minutes you can say hey let's actually walk for a little bit
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or let's actually go check out this other spot that's not
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that far away I've been wanting to go there it's really cool
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so you just move and lead to the next location
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and as the date goes from coffee spot to walking to maybe sitting down
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or going to a dessert spot
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or then go to another location you have multiple locations where you can start to get closer
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and closer and closer to the woman six months ago
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when I was actually in Barcelona there was a girl that I met up with her we met at a cafe.
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So we sat down and we got coffee and the vibe wasn't that on.
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It was kind of like 4pm, maybe 5pm.
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And so we hung out there for about 45 minutes.
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But as we finished, I said, let's actually go check out the area.
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I wanted to actually explore Barcelona a bit.
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Let's walk around the downtown area and check out the cathedral.
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There's a really nice view.
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So we walked down towards the cathedral.
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We sat down outside of there.
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We sat by the steps.
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We did a lap around that place in the city center.
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And then we ultimately found this one little corner
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that was like kind of excluded a little bit more dimly late because it was kind of like in this corner.
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It wasn't pitch black, but we were in this corner
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and now we were able to sit and it was so much more intimate at that point.
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We were starting to get a little bit touchy.
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I was able to give her a light little massage
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while we were just kind of being a little flirty and cute with each other.
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And now things got so much more intimate.
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How did I have just stayed in the cafe the whole time
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and just talk to her for three hours and then try to set the next date?
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The vibe just wouldn't have been anywhere near as strong.
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So a lot of guys talk shit on the idea of coffee dates it's only
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when you structure them the wrong way that they're no longer effective.
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Coffee dates are great because it's a very low investment activity.
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Almost every woman likes coffee.
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You just need to know how to structure this out properly using either coffee date structure A
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or coffee date structure B to actually set yourself up for success.
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Now, this is just one date idea.
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Obviously, there's a lot of nuance around conversation and escalation
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and flirting and going from date one to date two to date three with women.
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So if you want to get better with that skill set and you want to work with me directly, you could click the link down below for one -on -one coaching.
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I will coach you live while you're out in the field on coaching calls.
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We break down the recordings of your interactions, the recording of your dates.
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We can structure out your dates
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and help you run these interactions properly to create high levels of attraction with women
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so you could have the dating life you've always wanted.
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That's all for this video, guys.
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I'll see you in the next one.
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Peace out.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 156 sentences and 2066 words to shadow. The speech runs for 8:31. The speaker talks fast, about 243 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| vibe noun | /vaɪb/ | An atmosphere or aura felt to belong to a person, place or thing. |
| romantic adjective | /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ | Fantastic, unrealistic (of an idea etc.); fanciful, sentimental, impractical (of a person). |
| sequence noun | /ˈsiː.kwəns/ | A set of things next to each other in a set order; a series. |
| interaction noun | /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/ | The situation or occurrence in which two or more things act upon one another to produce an effect; the effect resulting from such a situation or occurrence. |
| scenario noun | /sɪˈnɛəɹioʊ/ | An outline or model of an expected or supposed sequence of events. |
| sexy adjective | /ˈsɛksi/ | Having sex appeal; attractive. |
| skill noun | /skɪl/ | A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate. |
| menu noun | /ˈmɛn.juː/ | The details of the food to be served at a banquet; a bill of fare. |
| intimate adjective | /ˈɪn.tɪ.mət/ | Closely acquainted; familiar. |
| cathedral noun | /kəˈθiːdɹəl/ | The principal church serving as the office (and some as place of residence) of an archdiocese's/a diocese's archbishop/bishop which is symbolized by an… |
| dessert noun | /dɪˈzɝt/ | The last course of a meal, consisting of fruit, sweet confections etc. |
| rooftop noun | /ˈɹufˌtɑp/ | The area atop a roof. |
| flirt verb | /flɚt/ | To throw (something) with a jerk or sudden movement; to fling. |
| finger noun | /ˈfɪŋɡɚ/ | A slender jointed extremity of the human hand, (often) exclusive of the thumb, and the corresponding part, irrespective of including a thumb, in many other… |
| technique noun | /tɛkˈniːk/ | The practical aspects of a given art, occupation etc.; formal requirements. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). | |
| sit down verb | To assume a sitting position from a standing position. | |
| build up verb | To erect; to construct. | |
| go over verb | To look at carefully; to scrutinize; to analyze. | |
| line up verb | /laɪnˈʌp/ | To align; to put in alignment; to put in correct adjustment for smooth running. |
| set up verb | /ˌsɛt ˈʌp/ | To make ready for use. |
| break down verb | To stop functioning. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 40 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, didn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: cathedral /kəˈθiːdɹəl/, enthusiasm /ɪnˈθuziæzəm/, smoothie /ˈsmuːði/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, massage /məˈsɑ(d)ʒ/, injection /ɪnˈd͡ʒɛk.ʃən/, intersection /ˈɪntəɹˌsɛkʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, intellectual /ˌɪntəˈlɛkt͡ʃʊəl/, enthusiasm /ɪnˈθuziæzəm/, accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, intersection /ˈɪntəɹˌsɛkʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like vibe, romantic, sequence.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has planned · have just stayed · you've always wanted |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was dressed · was actually headed |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.