Shadowing Practice: Flirting Techniques: How To Use Push Pull - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Let's talk about push -pull.
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What is push -pull?
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How can we use this?
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I'll give you a couple examples of it as well.
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Great technique to be using when you're flirting with a girl.
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It's a great way, kind of building off of the last video
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that you just saw in terms of not putting pressure on the girl, but still being able to display a little bit of intent.
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Okay, so let's go over this what is a push pull exactly well
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it could be described as a compliment plus a little bit of a diss
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or a positive plus a negative
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or it's also known as like a backhanded compliment okay
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so essentially what it is is like telling some kind of verbal intent to the girl
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that's half of it that's like the pull
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and then there's also a push which is like literally uh metaphorically speaking it's like pushing the girl away with your verbal.
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So that's why the positive is a pull.
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And then the negative is like a push away.
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So if you think about like trying to bring the girl in versus pushing the girl away, it's a push pull.
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So the sentence would be a positive plus a negative.
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And the idea behind this is we're showing some intent, but we're not putting too much pressure on the girl.
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Actually, if anything, we're, we're really taking the pressure off of the girl on this one
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because there's a positive and a little bit of a negative, right?
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So in the last video, I described giving the girl a compliment and then continuously talking
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or maybe asking a question or making a statement about something that was going on in the conversation.
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Push pull is a step further, okay?
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So it's like a positive plus the negative.
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So an example of this would be instead of just telling the girl she's cute, it would be something like,
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you're cute, but I feel like you're trouble or you're cute
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but i feel like you're like low -key a brat
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or you're cute but i don't think we would get along okay
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so you could see that's like a positive you're cute
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and then the negative the negative it's not even a huge negative
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but it's it's just taking the pressure off of the positive right it's like you're cute
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but this other thing okay and by doing that
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and by saying these push -pull lines
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it takes the pressure off of the girl it takes her mind off of the compliment, right?
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Because people have a tendency to just instinctually, if I told you a bunch of positives about yourself,
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and then I still had one negative thing to say about you,
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I guarantee you would be thinking about that negative thing way more than the positives.
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It's just how we are as human beings.
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We have a tendency to focus on negatives from people or focus on criticism from people.
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I was the same way in my dating content, right?
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I post up a video, i get a hundred comments that are all positive but there's that one negative comment that i'm so
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focused on right so it's like because of that reason excuse me
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because of that reason that's that's the same concept of why the push pull is effective
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because it's the girl's not going to be fixated
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so much on the fact that you complimented or
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if anything she's going to be like trouble wait why am i trouble
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or brat i'm not a brat what do you mean are you you're cute honestly but like you're so feisty.
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And then another thing you could do is you say the push pull and you also still continue talking.
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So it kind of builds off of the previous video that I was just saying about complimenting and then keep talking.
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Another thing you could do is compliment plus the negative and then keep talking as well.
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Okay.
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And that's like a even more powerful technique.
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I would say I'm not saying one of these is better than the other in this week's videos.
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I'm, I'm just giving you guys a bunch of different tools.
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Okay.
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Each tool is more effective in a, in, in a different scenario, right?
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Like a push pull is like a hammer.
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The other technique I told you was like a screwdriver.
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I'm not saying the hammer is better than the screwdriver.
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It's just, they're both tools that you could use.
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And at the right time with the right situation, each tool can be more effective than the other tool.
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Okay.
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So if I'm in a playful banter back and forth already with the girl, and then I use the push -pull,
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and then I keep talking as well, that could be very powerful, okay?
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If we're not in that much of a banter, and the girl's not being super playful with me, that may not be the route to go.
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In that case, you have another tool you can use.
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I'm going to give you guys more tools throughout this week as well, but this is a good one, the push -pull.
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So one other thing I wanted to point out about the push -pull is
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that it doesn't always need to be the positive first
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and then the negative it can be negative and then positive
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or positive negative positive there's a bunch of different ways to do this okay
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it should just be kind of flowing naturally based on how the conversation is going
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if you're brand new to this
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and this seems like a little bit of a struggle for you okay cool in
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that case i would say just focus on doing a very basic line.
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And don't try to go so complex with it at first, right?
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We want to start off very basic, right?
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So I'm going to give you a couple of lines in this video
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and later on in this week that you could just use verbatim, word for word.
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And as you get more comfortable with these things, you'll just start to embody these behaviors
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and these mannerisms naturally to the point where eventually you won't even need to think about the line.
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They just kind of come out naturally just based on having conversation with them.
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You know, like I'm never at I'm at a point where I'm never actively thinking about the push pulls.
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I just kind of embodied that playful back and forth banter with a girl.
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Right.
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And the way I got there, though, was by practicing these lines, writing down some lines, going out,
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doing approaches and trying to make an active attempt to inject one of these lines.
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OK, so that's the art of the push pull.
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It's the compliment.
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And then this other exception to the compliment.
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OK, and then you keep talking as well.
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I'm not like you're cute, but you're trouble.
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Right.
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And then I put the microphone up to her because that's just seeking a response.
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And that's try hard.
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And it could also be too much pressure on the girl.
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It should be playful when when we're incorporating these lines.
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OK, and that's how you're going to get that playful, fun banter that everybody wants to have with women.
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Okay, so super powerful tool right here.
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Be sure to start applying this into your interactions.
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I'll see you in the next video.
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I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
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And quick announcement, by the way, I just released my brand new 12 -week mentorship program.
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So for anybody that's interested in leveling up and achieving their goals with women and dating, click the link in the description,
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fill out the application, and we'll be reaching out to you to discuss further details.
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All right, I'll talk to you soon.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Flirting Techniques: How To Use Push Pull”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: negative, push, pull, positive, tool. This video has 107 sentences and 1313 words to shadow. The speech runs for 6:35. The speaker talks fast, about 199 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| compliment noun | /ˈkɑmpləmənt/ | An expression of praise, congratulation, or respect. |
| playful adjective | /ˈpleɪfl̩/ | Enjoying play; sportive; prone to playing frequently, in the manner of a child or young pet (viz. puppy or kitten). |
| naturally adverb | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | In a natural manner. |
| technique noun | /tɛkˈniːk/ | The practical aspects of a given art, occupation etc.; formal requirements. |
| intent noun | /ɪnˈtɛnt/ | Something that is intended. |
| hammer noun | /ˈhæmɚ/ | A tool with a heavy head and a handle used for pounding. |
| tendency noun | /ˈtɛn.dən.si/ | A likelihood of behaving in a particular way or going in a particular direction; a tending toward. |
| verbal adjective | /ˈvɜː.bəl/ | Of or relating to words. |
| guarantee noun | /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/ | Anything that assures a certain outcome. |
| essentially adverb | /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/ | In essence: by nature. |
| exception noun | /əkˈsɛpʃən/ | The act of excepting or excluding; exclusion; restriction by taking out something which would otherwise be included, as in a class, statement, rule. |
| versus | /ˈvɝsəs/ | Against; in opposition to. |
| announcement noun | /əˈnaʊns.mənt/ | An act of announcing, or giving notice. |
| interaction noun | /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/ | The situation or occurrence in which two or more things act upon one another to produce an effect; the effect resulting from such a situation or occurrence. |
| actively adverb | /ˈæktɪvli/ | In an active manner. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| fill out verb | /fɪl ˈaʊt/ | To complete a form or questionnaire with requested information. |
| get along verb | To interact or coexist well, without argument or trouble. | |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. | |
| go over verb | To look at carefully; to scrutinize; to analyze. | |
| push away verb | To apply a force to (an entity) such that it moves to a more distant position. | |
| start off verb | To begin. | |
| write down verb | To produce or set (something) down in writing; to record something. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Let's talk about push -pull.
- How can we use this?
- It's just how we are as human beings.
- It's just, they're both tools that you could use.
- I'm not like you're cute, but you're trouble.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | could be described · be fixated |
| Verb + -ing enjoy, keep, stop… + -ing — verbs that are followed by the -ing form | keep talking · start applying |
| Comparatives -er than / more … than — comparing two things | better than · more effective than |
| Past continuous was/were + -ing — an action in progress at a moment in the past | was going · was just saying |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 43 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, we're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, exception /əkˈsɛpʃən/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, interaction /ˌɪn.təˈɹæk.ʃən/, continuously /kənˈtɪnjuəsli/, incorporate /ɪŋˈkɔɹ.pɚ.eɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like compliment, playful, naturally.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.