Shadowing Practice: how to stop being jealous & comparing yourself to others and become obsessed with yourself instead. - Learn English Speaking with Video
Choose a practice mode
Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.
487 sentences
If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.
1
everyone feels jealous.
2
It's a normal human reaction and there are literally psychological theories
3
which prove that we're basically wired to want to compare ourselves to other people.
4
But what nobody tells you is that it's actually very easy to erase all of those envious thoughts from your head forever.
5
And I know that because I used to feel jealous of my peers, celebrities, people on social media, my family members and even my friends sometimes.
6
But if you were to ask me now, when was the last time that you felt even slightly jealous of someone?
7
I can't recall like I honestly cannot remember since I mastered this new mindset
8
and so in this video I'm gonna be teaching you guys all about how you can completely eliminate comparison
9
Jealousy envy
10
and FOMO for good as always all of my jewelry is
11
from my jewelry brand at Sojourner studio It's linked below in the description
12
and my bracelets and these necklaces are coming up in the next drop of the brand
13
So make sure you follow us on Instagram.
14
So you don't miss out chapter one let's fully understand this concept because only then can we get rid of it.
15
Envy comes from wanting something you don't have.
16
This is about having a desire for someone else's advantages or successes and then feeling resentful as a result.
17
Whereas jealousy comes from a fear of losing something you already have.
18
And this is more about rivalship, possession, control and feeling threatened.
19
And then we have FOMO which is the fear of missing out.
20
This is when we compare our journey to other peoples you know we assume
21
that they're in better places or we should have gone to
22
that party or we're missing out on that event
23
or a better career or better opportunities
24
or better friends we always feel like people are ahead of us
25
or doing better than us
26
and then the overarching theme of all of these terms is comparison
27
which is the thief of joy and together we're gonna put
28
that thief away for good so let's get to the root of why we compare
29
and get envious in the first place sadly it can be
30
caused by other people someone in our life maybe it was our parent our friends an ex-partner
31
suggested that we weren't good enough or we were inferior or maybe they constantly compared us to somebody else.
32
Maybe your teachers played favorites, maybe your parents pitted you and your siblings against each other, maybe our exes found someone more attractive than us.
33
Whatever it is, when people suggest that we're inferior and we're not good enough, we can take that mindset on and then we internalize all of those beliefs
34
and they become a part of our insecurities
35
and then it becomes a habit to start comparing ourselves because other people didn't believe in us.
36
Another cause of consistent comparison is low self-esteem.
37
This is also when you feel inferior
38
but you have little to no hope of your capabilities and what you will be able to achieve in your life.
39
And as a result, it's easier to feel envious of others than actually believe that you can get those things as well.
40
Another big cause of jealousy is having a scarcity mindset.
41
I mention the scarcity versus abundance mindset a lot in my videos
42
and it just goes to show how much this can negatively impact your life.
43
Because when you look at the world through the lens of there are scarce resources out there
44
and there are limited opportunities
45
And there's not enough space for everyone to succeed Then this will breed envy
46
because now you feel like you're in competition with everyone else
47
because there's not enough space for everyone
48
But to finish this chapter off I just want to mention
49
that it's normal and you shouldn't feel like a bad person
50
or beat yourself up for having these feelings
51
because they are Very much natural and that brings us to chapter two Envy
52
so like success comparison trying to level up your life feeling
53
like you're stuck everyone else is achieving loads of things
54
or you get social media fatigue because everyone else's lives seem so perfect and you want what they have.
55
So let me set the scene for you.
56
I was finishing university and I was feeling very fed up with my life.
57
I had no idea what I wanted to do
58
and the thought of working for somebody else and going into a 9-5 didn't make me feel very good.
59
I always knew that I didn't want to do that
60
and instead I wanted to make my creativity my career
61
but things just were not working out for me and I fell into a comparison spiral instead.
62
I envied those who lived such a fun life on social media being their own boss and I wanted the same thing.
63
So the secret is that I decided to use those people as a source of inspiration rather than resentment.
64
I thought if they can do it why can't I?
65
So I got to work instead and I invested in myself.
66
I started using Skillshare to get ahead and gain more knowledge to be the best at what I do.
67
I started using Skillshare because it was the best path of action I could take when I was feeling stuck.
68
By learning new skills
69
and focusing on getting one percent better at what I do
70
every single day it took my attention away from comparing to everybody else's journeys.
71
I got greater control over my career and my passion
72
when I took the creative confidence and silencing your inner critic class on Skillshare.
73
My favorite part of this class was the lesson called embracing your weirdness.
74
I realized that I was actually allowing the thought of myself being cringy to hold myself back in my creative career.
75
And taking these classes really allowed me to hold myself accountable
76
because there was so much knowledge out there that I didn't know.
77
And I thought, how could I ever blame the fact
78
that I was stuck in a rut on the fact
79
that other people are getting ahead and
80
that life is unfair no I just had to use
81
that energy more productively so if you feel like you're stuck in a rut
82
and you really want to get ahead and get
83
that taste of success then I highly recommend Skillshare
84
because it literally helps you create new career possibilities
85
so you guys can join Skillshare
86
and become a member with your first month free by going
87
to the description checking out the links the first 1000 people
88
that use the link in the description will get one month free of Skillshare.
89
So you better hurry up.
90
You can't keep continuing with this victim mindset.
91
Okay.
92
I know how frustrating it is when you've been putting in the hours and you've been trying so, so, so hard to get to your dream.
93
Let's say you want to be a singer
94
and you're comparing yourself to everyone else out there who has already made it or blown up like that overnight.
95
It literally doesn't matter.
96
They are all irrelevant because they're not you.
97
Everyone's life paths are laid out in a completely different, unique way.
98
And you need to start being grateful for yours
99
because you're comparing yourself to people's journeys
100
that are not meant for you it's the biggest waste of
101
time you just can't see why it's happening the way it is right now
102
but in a few years time you will look back to where you are now
103
and how you are struggling and laugh
104
and realize it was all for the best
105
because it took me two years to get 2 000 subscribers on youtube
106
and then in two months i went from 2 000 subscribers to 100 000 subscribers
107
And now I get to do YouTube as my full-time job
108
and I look back and I laugh because I'm like I can't believe I ever compared myself to anyone else.
109
This was always meant to happen to me I just had to work a little bit harder
110
and wait a little bit longer and have that patience
111
and faith That everything will work out for you There is space for everyone to succeed just
112
because other people got there first doesn't mean you're not gonna get there And on top of that, you should never be comparing your chapter one to someone's chapter 20
113
You don't know the 10,000 hours of work
114
that other people have put in to get to where they
115
are now Step number two to overcoming envy is the scarcity
116
to abundance mindset This is all about moving from the I
117
have to be in competition with other people There's not enough space for everyone to succeed
118
To of course i'm going to succeed and guess what?
119
Everyone else in this room can also succeed In fact, i'll give them advice and i'll cheer them on and I will help them Because their success does not threaten mine.
120
It doesn't put mine at risk A scarcity mindset will literally lead you to feeling like you're not enough
121
or you're incomplete because you believe
122
that there are scarce resources for everyone it leads to hyper fixation
123
and increases jealousy and stress
124
because you're focusing on short-term coping like what is this person doing
125
and what is that person doing and how can i be better
126
and why is this not happening to me instead of long-term problem solving
127
which is what is the action
128
that i can put in today to make me feel better
129
about this to improve my path to help me get to my goal faster When you have an abundance mindset, you're more optimistic.
130
All of your self-doubt fades away.
131
It's about having the utmost confidence in yourself and your abilities.
132
Why the hell would a person with an abundance mindset ever be jealous?
133
I know I'm going to get my cake.
134
Just because you're eating it first doesn't mean I'm not going to get mine.
135
Enjoy it.
136
Enjoy it because my time is going to come.
137
That's fine.
138
Thinking big and embracing risk rather than always playing it safe.
139
Because when you do that, when you hide away your money and you purposely don't tell people advice that they really need, You are signaling to the universe that you're actually very insecure about your capabilities
140
And so you feel like you need to compete with everyone
141
and it just shows that you don't have faith within yourself
142
And it's literally going to block your manifestations from coming to you
143
And finally it's about comparing yourself to your best self rather
144
than other people The only person you should be comparing yourself
145
to is who you were yesterday Step number three to overcoming envy is use them as inspiration
146
Jealousy is not a bad thing you can use it to your advantage Every single time you see something
147
and it triggers envious feelings in you, use it as a clue.
148
This is a clue.
149
Your body and your mind is telling you you are desiring this thing
150
and you don't like that this person has that for a reason.
151
It's because you want it for yourself.
152
It's triggering you because your mind is telling you that's where you're meant to be.
153
It's a clue into your future.
154
Now it's all about your perspective and how you choose to channel that envy.
155
Are you going to compare yourself to that person
156
and go down this trap of envy and feel bad about yourself and like a victim and feel prideful that, oh, why do they have it and I don't?
157
No. Instead, you're gonna remain unbothered because if they can do it, so can I.
158
So for example, let's see, I see a girl out and about in public.
159
Her makeup is divine.
160
She is the best outfit and I start feeling envious because I wanna look like that.
161
Why isn't my wardrobe like that?
162
Why do I not carry myself with that same energy?
163
I feel threatened.
164
Instead of feeling threatened, I'm gonna think, I'm not envious.
165
This is me being guided on my path, being guided to the next phase of my life.
166
So now I'm gonna take this thing that I like and I'm going to refine my list of goals.
167
And then when I go home tonight, I'm going to think, how can I now earn more money to buy that wardrobe?
168
How can I work on my confidence and my self-love to radiate better energy
169
and carry myself with that pride and confidence that that girl was doing?
170
Because just because she has it doesn't mean I can't have it.
171
So envy is pointless.
172
Think of it like a real life Pinterest board.
173
Everybody is just walking inspiration for you to use so that you can level up.
174
And lastly, step number four to overcoming envy is manifestation.
175
Yes, that's right you can literally use envy to manifest.
176
As we already know from the definitions I gave in chapter one, you actually desire the thing that you're envious of.
177
But the thing is that envy pushes your desire away.
178
Negative energy literally repels your manifestations from coming to you
179
because your jealousy represents your feelings of scarcity and your lack of self-belief.
180
So then the universe follows that belief.
181
So instead, the key is to convert that negative comparison energy into positive law of attraction energy.
182
This is so you can actually attract what you desire rather than waste time feeling inferior in comparison to it.
183
So firstly, you need to affirm
184
that what you want is actually on its way to you and you are capable of achieving it.
185
Affirmations will be in chapter five.
186
And then my personal favorite is to literally visualize yourself having that thing, living that life every single day.
187
You need to visualize all of your desires coming to you
188
need to visualize you finally becoming your best self you are
189
not just who you are right now you can create a new
190
and better version of yourself by tomorrow
191
and i'm gonna be honest here delusion is gonna be your
192
best friend in this this is something i still do to this day literally
193
when i'm falling asleep at night i'm closing my eyes i'm trying to fall asleep
194
and i'm envisioning myself living out all of my dreams traveling
195
the world living in my dream city living in my dream
196
apartment being wealthy having my dream collection of chanel handbags i'm
197
like watching a movie of me doing all of those things in my head.
198
And I know I'm gonna get those things.
199
I don't know when.
200
And if it takes another 10 years, then so be it.
201
But I know I'm gonna get it.
202
So when I see all of these people living that dream wealthy lifestyle online, I'm not threatened because I'm like, I'm gonna get it.
203
It's fine.
204
What is there to be jealous of?
205
Chapter three, overcoming jealousy.
206
This is more to do with comparison with other people.
207
Being threatened by other people, wanting other people's beauty, feeling jealous of the privilege that other people have.
208
I went long periods of being single and isolated at only spending time out
209
and about on my own when I was solo dating and focusing on myself, okay?
210
And when I was out and about, I would see so many cutesy romantic couples doing PDA and all of that stuff.
211
And naturally, a lot of people would resort to thinking, oh, I hate seeing all of these couples
212
and it's reminding me of my own loneliness and like go get a room and all of that.
213
Not once did I think that.
214
In fact, I would look at these couples when I was on a date by myself and think That is so cute.
215
Just because you're in a happy loving relationship
216
and I'm not doesn't emphasize my lack or mean that I'm not doing life correctly and I need to fix up.
217
No, it doesn't.
218
I'm extremely grateful to be single, to be on this date by myself.
219
I think I'm in a wonderful phase of my life
220
and I have the rest of my life to achieve what you have right there.
221
There could be a couple that are acting like they're very much in love
222
but are secretly miserable and wish they could leave
223
or miss the days that they were single and had more freedom and didn't have to constantly consider somebody else's needs again.
224
because at the end of the day, everyone always in any situation can find something to be jealous about.
225
It doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or you're single or you're wealthy or you're famous or you're unemployed.
226
It doesn't matter.
227
Everyone can find lack in their lives.
228
Not everyone has everything.
229
Those confident, secure people aren't so happy because they don't have anything to be jealous of.
230
Everyone has something to be jealous of.
231
They're happy and secure and radiate this amazing, contagious energy, which makes you feel insecure
232
because they're choosing to focus on what they have in their life the abundance they have not the lack
233
that they could easily pick out just as everyone could the next tip is to create an alter ego
234
and this step is going to help you finally become obsessed with yourself
235
so you don't feel threatened by anybody else's successes ever again
236
creating an alter ego is all about maximizing your confidence
237
and everybody needs this even beyonce herself you can google this had to come up with an alter ego
238
when she would get nervous on stage she named her alter ego sasha fierce
239
and so whenever she felt like she wasn't capable of doing something
240
or that she wasn't that successful
241
or she didn't look great she wouldn't say i'm beyonce she would say i'm sasha fierce
242
and she would go onto the stage and be
243
that version of herself you need to imagine the most confident attractive magnetic version of you name them
244
and then step into that energy whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to somebody else
245
or thinking that they're better than you the whole point of an alter ego is
246
that that it's a version of you that's limitless.
247
It doesn't have any lack.
248
They are abundant in all areas.
249
They are so grateful for the person they are.
250
Your weaknesses are your alter ego's strengths.
251
Your insecurities are your alter ego's confidence.
252
And so it links into what I always say, which is fake it until you make it embody that magnetic, confident energy until it naturally becomes a part of who you are.
253
Step number three to overcoming jealousy is questioning yourself and getting to the root of whatever you're jealous of.
254
Why is this triggering me?
255
Why is this the problem for me?
256
What do I need to gained from this situation?
257
What do I need this person to stop doing to make me feel better?
258
Why do I need them to do that?
259
I'll give you a personal experience of mine as an example.
260
I used to feel extremely jealous and threatened of my past boyfriend's ex.
261
So this is my first ever boyfriend and he used to speak about his ex-girlfriend all of the time.
262
So I found myself comparing myself to her all the time and I was like feeling inferior, not feeling good enough in comparison to her.
263
And due to that comparison, I automatically assumed that she was more attractive than me
264
or she understood him more she was a better girlfriend she had a better personality
265
and i realized all of
266
that was coming from my own insecurities my own lack of self-worth
267
because i didn't believe in myself
268
so i was easily allowing this other person to be better than me in my head
269
and then my ideal situation in this scenario would be for my boyfriend to stop talking about her to say
270
that i'm more attractive to hype me up and not her
271
so from those questions i can then create the solution and
272
that solution is oh i'm not a super jealous person it's the fact
273
that my boyfriend is allowing there to be a situation where I'm jealous of another girl.
274
If anything, it should be a situation where other people are jealous of us as a couple.
275
He is creating a situation where I can have feelings of jealousy towards his ex.
276
That should never be the case.
277
So, solution, dump him.
278
And then another solution is, why do I automatically believe that this girl is better looking than me?
279
Why do I feel inferior to her?
280
She's not better looking than me.
281
Nobody is.
282
That's not because I have the most perfect face and I'm better than anyone.
283
No one's better looking than me or anybody else for that matter because everyone has a different base.
284
That's it.
285
One person could see you and not see any beauty within your face
286
and another could think you're the most beautiful person they've ever laid their eyes on.
287
Beauty is subjective so no one is better looking than me.
288
They just look different to me.
289
Step four to overcoming jealousy is self-care.
290
Jealousy comes from low self-worth and low self-esteem.
291
So from here you need to think how can I start incorporating more caring
292
and loving practices into my life so that I can start feeling better about myself.
293
For example, are you exercising?
294
Do you have a workout routine?
295
Not because your body needs to look better, but because your mental health literally needs your body to move so that you can thrive and feel happy every day.
296
Are you taking the time to reflect and meditate and be present with your thoughts?
297
Or are you just scrolling for hours on end unconsciously and
298
And then as a result allowing what everybody else is doing
299
on social media to be the main concern in your brain
300
Rather than using that time and energy and brain power to then instead relax
301
and unwind Are you taking care of yourself through the foods that you eat?
302
Are you constantly eating foods are high in sugar
303
that are processed fast food all of these foods
304
that will literally make you feel sluggish
305
and tired right after you're not gonna be feeling like your best most confident baddest version of yourself after eating
306
that There is literally a reason as to why eating fruits
307
and veg is one of the key steps to balancing your chakra
308
And do you know what happens when you have an imbalanced heart chakra you experience feelings of loneliness
309
Jealousy and judgment so please don't ever skip on the self-care because once you get comfortable with neglecting yourself
310
You also get comfortable with putting people on a pedestal above you
311
because you have low self-esteem You get comfortable with living every
312
day in a low vibrational state step number four to overcoming jealousy is a gratitude journal.
313
This is all about acknowledging the fact that everyone is handed their own obstacles, pain, trauma and challenges in life.
314
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
315
And instead writing three things you're grateful for every single day.
316
I know it might seem trivial, it might seem so basic but it works wonders.
317
You have to constantly remind yourself that your life is filled with love and abundance.
318
Sure there might be a bunch of things you don't have
319
but by shifting your focus on the things you already have will immediately eliminate any feelings of jealousy
320
because you're finally
321
so thankful for what you have why would you compare yourself to anybody else I would never want your life
322
or your beauty or your this or your that because I'm
323
so thankful for what I have
324
and I'll give you a personal experience of mine I don't
325
have my dad in my life I haven't had my dad in my life since I was 10 years old
326
and I remember going to my best friend's house
327
and I was sat in her kitchen
328
and I was watching her interact with her dad
329
and how much of a great loving very close relationship they had with each other
330
And I sat there and I watched and I started feeling jealous
331
because it was such a beautiful connection They had and I knew
332
that no matter what i'll never be able to have
333
that i've lost that now And that's not something i'll be able to gain and yet my friend she just gets it.
334
Why don't I get it?
335
It's not fair, right wrong just
336
because she has it doesn't mean she doesn't also experience a bunch of pain
337
and trauma And insecurity like the rest of us.
338
In fact, I know she does So just because she has something
339
that I don't have doesn't immediately make her life better than mine
340
And just because I have things that she doesn't have doesn't mean
341
that my life is better than hers I have gone through a lot of pain
342
and I have lost a lot of things that most normal people have
343
that I will never be able to get back And that's not just fatherlessness.
344
It really does go beyond that And yet I would never want anybody else's life
345
because I know i'm the controller of my own destiny
346
And I know that I can go out into the world
347
and gain so much more love and acceptance and connections
348
and bonds with other people Trust me just because somebody else has a couple of things that you wish you had
349
trust me you would not want to swap your life with them
350
because in turn you will be handed all of their sufferings as a result
351
and everybody has
352
that step number five to overcoming jealousy is become your own
353
it girl you literally need to become obsessed with yourself this is the mindset
354
that i have
355
and everyone else needs to have i love everything i do
356
i love the way i think i love the way i
357
act i love the way i execute things i love the
358
way i strut in the street i love the way i carry myself.
359
I love everything I do down to the mistakes I make, how I make them, how I learn from them, how I move on from them.
360
You were put on this planet and you were made to be different.
361
Don't ruin that by trying to be like everyone else.
362
I'll give you another example.
363
I've always been naturally very slim.
364
To some it's a desirable body type, to others it's not.
365
I've been told by both men and women that I'm too flat, that I don't have enough curves, that I'm built like a door.
366
So then when I go out into public
367
and I see slim thick girls with curves and a bigger bust
368
and a bigger butt I don't feel jealous because i'm like regardless of what anybody says.
369
I love my body I was given this body this body
370
suits me the best Your opinion of me doesn't decide how I should feel about myself
371
or whether the qualities I have are desirable or not I am the decider of that And once again, it comes down to the fact
372
that you could be comparing yourself to somebody else's body Thinking they must be
373
so confident and feel so beautiful and love their body every day
374
they could look into the mirror everyday and hate what they see.
375
They could feel so insecure.
376
You could see a curvy girl with the best body proportions that just wishes she was super skinny.
377
So it really doesn't matter about gaining so much more, getting the best body, getting plastic surgery, acquiring more wealth.
378
It's about becoming obsessed with the current version of yourself
379
because you can get more and more and more and more
380
and the jealousy won't stop and the chase for more
381
and becoming better won't stop until you finally become grateful for who you are now
382
and give yourself acceptance of the way you look and are right now.
383
Chapter four, overcoming FOMO and realizing you are your only competition.
384
This is for those of you who feel bad every single time you open social media
385
and you see all of these pretty people and you instantly start comparing your life to them, thinking everyone else is doing better, living their dream life, and you're just behind.
386
And to those of you, I say you are literally comparing your bad days to somebody's good.
387
You are comparing your everyday, real, authentic life to somebody's filtered picture on Instagram.
388
Somebody can literally post 30 Instagram stories a day, taking you through every single thing they do in their day, and still miss out about 20 things that went wrong that day.
389
And I know this because I do the same.
390
Nobody goes on Instagram and tells you that they cried themselves to sleep, that they were stressed, that they procrastinated for two hours.
391
We all do it.
392
So while you're looking at people on social media or even in real life thinking, oh they're in such a happy relationship or they have their dream job this and that how do you know
393
how do you know even
394
if you know the person in real life how do you know the emotions they feel
395
and the thoughts that go through their head
396
when they get home after a long day how do you
397
know they're not arguing with their partner every day how do you know they're not just tired of their job
398
and they want to quit
399
and this is where the social media strategy comes into play i did this two years ago
400
and my life has never been more peaceful the unfollow mute
401
and block button are about to become your new best friends
402
first of all i unfollowed nearly every single celebrity all of the Kardashians, all of the influencers, everyone.
403
I unfollowed everyone I went to school with
404
that I don't still talk to and then I muted all of the people
405
that I actually know who I feel like just flexed to the gram
406
or I'll see things and I'll start comparing myself to them, mute.
407
Because I am not about to go on my own phone and have my day ruined by Instagram.
408
The second that I removed all content on social media
409
which was normalizing a standard of beauty which is in no way realistic
410
or comparing my normal everyday life to influencers in LA who are extremely rich, The happier I got because
411
if you were to go to your local supermarket right now Would you see a bunch of people
412
that look like who you follow on instagram?
413
Would everyone be in super extravagant outfits?
414
Would everyone be wearing rolex watches and holding chanel bags?
415
No Because that is not real life
416
But you are scrolling for hours on end consuming all of these pictures of people living
417
that lifestyle And it tricks your brain into thinking
418
that that's the norm and that's what you're supposed to be doing The only way to overcome
419
that is to remove it from your eyesight completely and instead make social media a positive place.
420
I'm not a believer in saying spend less time on social media.
421
I love social media.
422
I go on social media every day and leave it feeling refreshed, inspired and having gained more knowledge.
423
You need to be following people on Instagram, TikTok, even Snapchat, YouTube that either inspire you, educate you or spark some sort of positive emotion.
424
Maybe it's comedy, for example.
425
The next mindset shift is remembering that every single situation in life comes with its own little pretty package of stress.
426
No phase of your life that you will enter will be stress-free.
427
It doesn't matter how much success you acquire, there will still be a new set of problems that come with it.
428
For example, when you're single, your stress and your problems is, oh, I don't have any affection or I'm bored or there's no one to take me on a date, I'm lonely.
429
When you're in a relationship, it's, oh, I never have time for myself
430
or now I'm arguing with my partner or I have to figure out how to get along with my in-laws.
431
There's always a new problem.
432
When you're in a night to five, it's, oh, I hate waking for somebody else.
433
I work too many hours.
434
I don't make enough money.
435
I don't like my boss.
436
I don't like my colleagues.
437
When you finally take the leap and start your own business, then it's, oh my God, this is too much responsibility.
438
I'm working even more hours than I was before.
439
I don't get to take the weekends off.
440
Therefore, it's all about perspective.
441
And now let's go through 10 affirmations that you can start using today to help you overcome your comparison.
442
I release jealousy and welcome positive energy.
443
I am safe, secure and confident enough in myself that nobody else could ever feel like a threat to me.
444
I release the need to validate my worth through the comparison or competition of others.
445
I only compare myself to who I was yesterday.
446
My confidence grows stronger and stronger every single day.
447
Other people's success does not symbolize my lack.
448
I am so thankful for everything I have in my life.
449
I am so lucky to live my current lifestyle.
450
Everything I want is already on its way to me.
451
I am abundant in all areas of my life.
452
And finally, I am not diminished by the success and happiness of others.
453
And let's finish this video with homework.
454
These are things you're going to start doing right now if you find jealousy creeping back into your life.
455
Number one, your reading material is going to be a book called The Defining Decade.
456
This is all about what it's like to compare your 20s to somebody else's, compare your life and just feel stuck like you're not doing enough.
457
And the second book is called How to Fail by Elizabeth Day.
458
Task number two you're gonna go onto your Instagram right now
459
and unfollow and mute everyone that makes you feel envious
460
or promotes an unrealistic standard of beauty
461
or just makes you feel like you're not enough and instead you're gonna follow a bunch of creators that radiate positive vibes, that post positive quotes, that make you feel better about yourself.
462
Task number three, you're going to get out a journal
463
and write down five things that you are so thankful for about your life.
464
Why your life is so amazing and why you're such a lucky person
465
and how so much more abundance is going to come into your life as a result.
466
After this, you're going to go to another page in your journal
467
and you're going to write about a time that you wished for what you currently have.
468
This could be so simple like passing your exams, learning how to drive, getting a job, being able to afford your favorite piece of clothing.
469
and this will make you realize that you actually are making progress.
470
Everything you wish for, when the time is right, you do actually get.
471
Progress is all that matters, the pace does not.
472
Homework task number five is that you are going to write a list of your goals in your phone.
473
Bonus points if you make a vision board in real life or a digital one on Pinterest.
474
Homework task six, you are gonna pick one of the goals from the list you wrote in your phone, pick one of them and then commit just one hour this week to doing something
475
that will get you even 1% closer to achieving that goal.
476
You're gonna take your attention and focus away from what everybody else is doing
477
and actually put action into getting yourself closer to those desires you see in others. And lastly,
478
you can save the audio of all of the tips I mentioned in this video by downloading the podcast to this video, which is linked in the description via Spotify and Apple Music.
479
So you can listen to this video all over again when you're on the go.
480
And that brings us to the end of this video.
481
I hope you guys enjoyed it and learned something new.
482
If you did, make sure you comment down below and let me know because I love reading through all of your comments.
483
Make sure you give this video a thumbs up and subscribe because I make new videos every single week.
484
And I will see you in the next one.
485
I appreciate you.
486
Thank you for watching.
487
And I'll see you in the next one.
Download App
Everything you need to speak fluently
AI PronunciationScore every sentence
IPA PracticeMaster every sound
VocabularyBuild your word bank
Vocab GameLearn while playing
Same Channel
B24
how to CONQUER university | studying, mindset, time management, friends, boys, partying and regrets
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B213
strategic overthinking to MANIFEST
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C111
how to ACTUALLY be yourself (when you've forgotten who that is)
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
mastering self concept: you don't get what you want. you get who you are.
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
why quitting man hating was the most feminist thing i ever did
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
![GIRL TALK Q&A: toxic friends, dating drama, healthy relationships, goals and self love [PART 7]](https://img.youtube.com/vi/XfmdZisvvgo/mqdefault.jpg)
B23
GIRL TALK Q&A: toxic friends, dating drama, healthy relationships, goals and self love [PART 7]
Business EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B25
how to be productive | discipline, healthy habits, motivation, balance + THAT GIRL routine
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
FOR YOU
Recommend Video
B21
539 sentences
How to Become the Version of You Who Already Has It
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B212
137 sentences
I used to be insecure and envy others. Here's my advice.
American AccentBusiness EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B214 sentences
Why Obsession Runs Out And Never Returns
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B26 sentences
Stop comparing yourself to other people - Oprah Winfrey
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2444 sentences
people you should watch out for (how to spot toxic friends)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
97 sentences
Don't Allow Your Life To Be Controlled By These 5 Things
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
475 sentences
Your Insecurity Is Your Brand
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
119 sentences
We’re All Copying the Same Muse (And It Shows)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
303 sentences
how to stop being pathetic, desperate, and insecure
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
![You want 50 friends, not 5,000 followers [English Practice]](https://img.youtube.com/vi/nFONMoweOs4/mqdefault.jpg)
B13
138 sentences
You want 50 friends, not 5,000 followers [English Practice]
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B29
61 sentences
One Hadith That Kills Toxic Competition and Jealousy | Snapshots with Imam Tom Facchine
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
208 sentences
you have to let yourself go
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 487 sentences and 6219 words to shadow. The speech runs for 28:04. The speaker talks fast, about 222 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| compare verb | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | To assess the similarities and differences between two or more things [“to compare X with Y”]. Having made the comparison of X with Y, one might have found it… |
| jealousy noun | /ˈd͡ʒɛl.ə.si/ | A state of being jealous; a jealous attitude. |
| jealous adjective | /ˈd͡ʒɛl.əs/ | Suspecting rivalry in love; troubled by worries that one might have been replaced in someone's affections; suspicious of a lover's or spouse's fidelity. |
| envy noun | /ˈɛnvi/ | Resentful desire of something possessed by another or others (but not limited to material possessions). |
| overcome verb | /ˌəʊ.vəˈkʌm/ | To surmount (a physical or abstract obstacle); to prevail over, to get the better of. |
| mindset noun | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | A way of thinking; an attitude or opinion, especially a habitual one. |
| threaten verb | /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/ | To make a threat against someone; to use threats. |
| abundance noun | /əˈbʌn.dn̩s/ | A large quantity; many. |
| altar noun | /ˈɔl.tɚ/ | A table or similar flat-topped structure used for religious rites. |
| inferior adjective | /ɪnˈfɪɹ.i.ɚ/ | Lower in rank, status, or quality. |
| grateful adjective | /ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/ | Of a person or their actions, feelings, etc.: expressing gratitude or appreciation; appreciative, thankful. |
| succeed verb | /səkˈsiːd/ | To follow something in sequence or time. |
| thankful adjective | /ˈθæŋkfəl/ | Showing appreciation or gratitude. |
| naturally adverb | /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/ | In a natural manner. |
| everyday adjective | /ˈɛvɹiˌdeɪ/ | Appropriate for ordinary use, rather than for special occasions. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| get ahead verb | To advance toward success. |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| miss out verb | To miss an experience or lose an opportunity, etc. that should not be missed. |
| blow up verb | To explode or be destroyed by explosion. |
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). |
| come down to verb | To reach by moving down or reducing. |
| come up with verb | To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 198 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, thankful /ˈθæŋkfəl/, wealthy /ˈwɛl.θi/, thief /ˈθiːf/, clothing /ˈkloʊðɪŋ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, possession /pəˈzɛʃn̩/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/
- Long words — get the stress right: inferior /ɪnˈfɪɹ.i.ɚ/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, celebrity /səˈlɛb.ɹɪ.ɾi/, eliminate /ɪˈlɪm.ɪ.neɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like compare, jealousy, jealous.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to feel · used to speak |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has already made · have put · they've ever laid |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are laid · are not meant · was always meant |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | FOMO which is · those who lived · energy, which makes |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.