Shadowing Practice: how you choose is how you're chosen - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.

257 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

It hit me so hard I had to write a Substack article on it.

That's how you know that it was painful.

Or it was like an epiphany that dawned on me and completely altered the way I view things because truth be told, and most humans do, don't lie,

I want to be chosen.

I want to be chosen since sixth grade when we had dodgeball in gym.

I want to be the first one picked by the captain.

I want to be chosen when my friend has an exciting thing to share

and I'm the first one she calls i want to be

chosen by the guy like i want to be chosen as a favorite child it's actually quite embarrassing

but i do and it's not because i don't have self -confidence or i don't value myself

it's not out of insecurity it's not out of the need to get validation it's just

because when someone chooses you that means that they see you

and you know they understand what you bring to the table

and want to hold it close

because at the end of the day that's all we want is to be chosen seen understood

and all the above so when i heard this line it quite literally

changed something in here and made me understand what being chosen meant in a different light

and i'm gonna break it down here

because i think this helps us realize why a lot of things don't work out

and it's less about us not being chosen but more

so about misalignment let me let me get there let me

land okay hi my name is sahar i am a self -proclaimed philosopher lover of human professional yapper

and yeah now let's start from the beginning the monday night where i was watching this halakha

and this dropped on me what this sentence taught me in

my head is actually being chosen is more of a holistic approach

and i'm going to walk you through the psychology aspect of

it the philosophy behind it a little bit of islamic references

so you can also see this within our own dean

and then at the end conclude with last words finishing remarks who knows at

that point we'll see okay

so the quote is how i choose is how i will be chosen

and we think about that

that essentially means the same reasons why you choose someone is

the same reasons they're going to choose you back it sounds

simple enough right yet how come whenever we aren't chosen we get butthurt

or we think that it's a signal identifier of our own unworthiness

and we internalize that as something's wrong with us

when in fact how you choose someone is how they're going to choose you so

if they're not choosing you baby you might not be choosing

for the right reasons i'm just saying i think the most important part of this reframe is understanding

that choice isn't passive it's reciprocal it's not something that's a one -sided thing

because ultimately you both have to choose each other and

if someone doesn't choose you that's you wouldn't choose them

if they're not choosing you now i'm going to bring in the scientific psychology aspect of all this okay

so there's this thing called person environment fit

and essentially it's two kinds of fit run within an environment okay there's demands abilities

which basically just means can you do this?

Do you have the ability to fulfill the demands required?

And there's also needs supplies.

That is trying to evaluate if it can actually sustain you.

So maybe you are capable, but is it something that's going to be long -term happiness, good in your life?

So essentially, while you may have the skills or the capabilities to participate in it, it won't necessarily sustain you long -term.

Needs capabilities, needs supplies, okay?

Two different ways you interact with an environment going hand in

hand with the person environment fit there is this thing called traction selection attrition

which is coined asa essentially meaning the same things

that attract a group of people to an environment is a

shared quality amongst everyone the way this is explained is actually people are drawn towards environments

that share their values and those same environments select the people who already share them

so it's not you know they judged me

and then i separately judge them but more

so there's the same underlying compatibility that ultimately brought this group of people to this environment.

What these two psychological studies show is

that whenever you're choosing someone it's not a one -sided thing it's actually reciprocal meaning

that if both sides aren't choosing the same goal

or environment then there's an underlying misalignment that is not being seen

or addressed which when you think about it essentially means

that rejection is not an indicator of your worth i think

the best example i can have of this is let's say

i want to become a medical school i was gonna say

a medical school let's say i want to become a doctor okay

because i like making money who doesn't right i like being i want to be a doctor

because i like making money but ultimately i don't want to work long shifts

and i don't want to go to all that schooling

and i really don't like scrubs i don't think it looks good on me

so when i go apply for medical school

and they look at my grades i've had amazing grades they ask me why i want to become a doctor

and i say i want to make a lot of money

let's pretend like we're honest in the interview okay i'm like i want to make a lot of money

and not anything of substance or anything that's

shows I will be sustained or fulfilled within this career they're they're not gonna choose me

but it's not

because I'm not smart enough to go to medical school I'm not smart enough to become a doctor it's

because this position I'm applying for is not something

that ultimately long -term I'd want to do I'm gonna burn out I'm gonna be miserable my job

because I'm looking at the fact that I want this job

because it's gonna make me a lot of money

and they're looking at me like she has the skills

but she doesn't have the real passion for it

so wouldn't be a good fit long term

and as you can see in this scenario it's pretty easy

to internalize not being chosen into the medical program you wanted

because your eyes are so fixated on the fact

that I want to be a doctor to make a lot of money

and not fixated on the realities of what your life could look like day to day

and that misalignment right there is ultimately what's saving you from a life of misalignment and unhappiness

because you are too focused on one singular thing now for my favorite part the philosophy aspect of it

and for this specific example i pulled a satra book okay

i'm going to read to you the excerpt from the book

100

that he wrote and then we're going to break it down from there

101

but this book is called i and thou

102

and essentially is speaking between the different relationships humans run between a i it

103

and a i thou

104

and how those two different things determine the kind of value

105

we ultimately see in it okay the passage reads I can

106

look on it as a picture stiff column in a shock of light

107

or splash of green shot with delicate blue

108

and silver in the background I can perceive it as a

109

movement flowing veins on clinging pressing pith suck of the roots breathing of the leaves ceaseless commerce with earth

110

and air and obscure growth itself I can classify it in a species

111

and study it as a type in its structure

112

and mode of life I can subdue its actual presence

113

and form so sternly

114

that I can recognize it only as an expression of law I can dissipate it

115

and perpetuate it in number in a pure numerical relation

116

and all of this the tree remains my object occupy space

117

and time and has its nature and constitution it can however also come about

118

if I have both will and grace

119

that in considering the tree I become bound up in relation

120

to it the tree is no longer it I have been seized by the power of exclusiveness

121

when I read that I thought that was just very poetic way to describe exactly the same thing of being chosen.

122

Sartar is essentially saying that there's two different ways we interact with things around us.

123

There's I it which means I look at this book I see

124

that it's a book I enjoy the book I read the book I put down the book however I want

125

when I'm bored I pick it up whenever I'm excited

126

and busy with something else I put it back down it

127

goes like you know what I mean I interact with it

128

as an object to be consumed by me that's how we interact with a majority of things in our life

129

and it sounds a little sad but it's true we don't go beyond

130

that outside of the value it provides for us

131

and what use it can bring us now

132

when it comes to friendships relationships our family members etc we interact with

133

that on a i thou which essentially means

134

that we are willing to compromise our own comfortability

135

or our own needs in order to enter this person's realm

136

and vice versa it's described to being met as a whole being not a list of qualities

137

so not being worse or better than it's a different register entirely

138

and i think it's important to remember

139

that i it is necessary for functioning we can't interact with

140

everyone ready to compromise our own return on investment for the sake of loving

141

or entering this person's realm of world you know what i mean like we have to have a balance

142

so again it's not a terrible thing but it's the reality we live in going back to that job example

143

they're meeting me as I it they're not looking at me as a potential medical student as something

144

that they want to go inside the depths of my mind

145

and understand and work on together

146

and grow old they're just like this is we need medical

147

students she's applying for a medical school can we accept her

148

or not that's it nothing beyond that now

149

if I was going to my mom and I was going through something

150

and even if she doesn't understand it

151

if she's never been through it since she views me as

152

an I thou she's going to sit there with me ask me like why I feel

153

that way try to understand try to be there for me in my own language etc

154

that part of being chosen is less rare less rare is more rare in our life okay

155

so knowing all of this going back to

156

that how you choose is how you are chosen Ustad Adel Murphy actually used a beautiful example within his halakha

157

that really exemplifies what this could look like in real life um he used the relationship between khadijah

158

and prophet muhammad um again if you're not muslim essentially just people

159

not just people it's the prophet that we look up to peace be upon him

160

and his wife his first wife the mother we call her the mother of muslims

161

but not like a literal mother just like the first one to have accepted islam anyway

162

when you look at their relationship in today's modern day society

163

there's actually not it's not typical for them to end up together

164

because khadijah was 20 years older than muhammad sallam um she

165

was a rich widow she was basically you know she everyone

166

wanted her allahum abarak everyone was like she had her life

167

she had things going for her okay not to say anyway

168

just listen to the story prophet muhammad pays people on him at

169

that time was a shepherd he was again in his 20s

170

and didn't really have any financial i guess accolades to him at that time

171

so whenever it came to keep in mind khadijah can marry

172

anyone everyone wanted her she was again highly regarded within society she also had noble character

173

and prophet muhammad was known to be a sadiq you know

174

the most honest truthful great character as well on paper these two people wouldn't have ended up together

175

or should have ended up together

176

but how they chose is how they were chosen you see khadijah

177

and aha valued honesty and you know compassion

178

and good character above all else

179

and that's the exact same thing prophet muhammad said salam valued above all else

180

so because they saw that with each other they were able to find

181

that alignment in choosing each other and

182

that is what ended up leading to them becoming you know married

183

and having a beautiful like marriage and the rest is history

184

and I think that example really tugged at my heartstrings

185

because in today's modern whatever you want to call it I don't date

186

but in today's courting process it feels like what I'm looking for is unrealistic

187

or too much

188

that I should just really settle for a checklist like okay

189

does he have a good job does he pray five times

190

a day is he kind of funny a little good looking

191

then check check check okay then we're ready to go

192

but it never felt right to me

193

because I've always wanted again a deeply met relationship if

194

that makes sense like I want someone that understands my inquisitiveness

195

and shares the same kind of inquisitive

196

that on a bad day we both know how to pick each other up

197

because we know what the other person needs without even asking I want

198

that very in -depth type of companionship even within my friendships

199

and it just seems like it's that's rarer to find

200

or a lot harder to find simply because people don't people don't value

201

that in me at least thus far no one

202

that I've met has seen that within me enough to choose me

203

which then I've internalized as oh there's something wrong with me

204

or there's you know what I'm looking for is not out there

205

when honestly potentially just the fact that I was being saved from a misalignment

206

that I wasn't able to see because I was so bent on being chosen for the sake of validation, but not chosen for the sake of alignment.

207

That's a harsh reality.

208

And I don't want to just harp on the marriage or like dating aspect of things because if I think about it, my family was chosen for me, okay?

209

And the same reason why my family members were chosen for

210

me are the same reasons why I choose others like my mom can have a terrible day

211

and still show up for me 100 my dad can go on

212

and on and on about like Islamic lectures and like you know history

213

and philosophy and it's the same thing

214

that I really enjoy talking about as well so like the same reasons that we have ended up being

215

family members in this life is the same reason why I now seek

216

that in others and even with friendships whenever I make a friend

217

or we grow really close together it's

218

because I see those exact same qualities I embody within them

219

and I can't help but think how many times

220

when I wasn't chosen it was less about me not being seen

221

but more so mean not being met again back to my first

222

example we want to feel chosen at every corner of life

223

because that's how we can determine our worthiness

224

when quite the contrary our worthiness actually is only really seen

225

and valued whenever that person choosing you is choosing you

226

because of those shared values and more times than not

227

when we aren't being chosen it's because there is again a misalignment

228

that we are not seeing there's actually this line in my sub stack article

229

that i love so much

230

because it really just embodies how this has brought me back to reality

231

so there is so much comfort found in that epiphany

232

when my mind wanders into its depths

233

and gets lost in the will anyone ever choose me world

234

or even the Voldemort of thoughts why would anyone ever choose

235

me the thought brings me back from Azkaban they will choose me how I choose them They won't choose me

236

because I'm so cool, funny, witty, or pretty, even though I am all those things, but I will be chosen for the embodiment of things beyond

237

that simply because that is also how I choose and how like,

238

it's like a built in filtration system that I hated for so long because it was filtering.

239

It was filtering.

240

It's like whenever you have a Brita

241

and it's filtering the bad like you know whatever that's in our tap water out of it

242

and instead of it going super fast

243

and getting immediate results it's taking a little bit longer it's dripping it's dripping you know

244

but i'm thirsty i'm not actually thirsty that's a bad example

245

but i'm thirsty you know i'm like i want the water right now

246

and instead of me being appreciative for this built -in filtration system that's weeding out the bad

247

and you know letting me collect all the good and the

248

prized possession within the Brita I'm being impatient so it's my impatientness

249

that then leads me to think

250

that me being not chosen is a indicator of me not being amazing

251

when in reality it's actually showing me that hey you're

252

so amazing the filter is going to take a little bit longer hang in there hang in there

253

so hopefully that makes sense

254

and hopefully you can find comfort in this saying the same

255

way I do how you choose is how you'll be chosen

256

and shout out to Ustad Alden Murphy I'll link the halakha in the description

257

if you want to watch it because I think again whack me upside the head with that one bye

Download App

Everything you need to speak fluently

AI PronunciationScore every sentence

IPA PracticeMaster every sound

VocabularyBuild your word bank

Vocab GameLearn while playing

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Same Channel

you never lose, because it was never yours

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

FOR YOU

Recommend Video

29 sentences

English Podcast for Learning English | Real English Conversation Practice | I Choose Myself

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

491 sentences

turn jealousy into inspiration

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

211 sentences

ENGLISH SPEECH | SIMON SINEK: 5 Rules for Success (English Subtitles)

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

705 sentences

social life, success, and sleep

Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students

Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This video has 257 sentences and 3115 words to shadow. The speech runs for 16:44. The speaker talks fast, about 186 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 84% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
essentially adverb	/ɪˈsɛnʃəli/	In essence: by nature.
interact verb	/ɪn.təˈɹækt/	To engage in communication and other shared activities (with someone).
prophet noun	/ˈpɹɑ.fɪt/	Someone who speaks by divine inspiration.
aspect noun	/ˈæspɛkt/	Any specific feature, part, or element of something.
filter noun	/ˈfɪltɚ/	A device which separates a suspended, dissolved, or particulate matter from a fluid, solution, or other substance; any device that separates one substance from…
sake noun	/ˈseɪ̯k/	Cause, interest or account.
friendship noun	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	The condition of being friends.
sustain verb	/səˈsteɪn/	To maintain, or keep in existence.
thirsty adjective	/ˈθɝs.ti/	Needing to drink water or any liquid that can supply water.
comfort noun	/ˈkʌm.fət/	Contentment, ease.
psychology noun	/saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/	The study of the human mind.
relation noun	/ɹɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/	The manner in which two things may be associated.
underlying adjective		Lying underneath.
compromise noun	/ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/	The settlement of differences by arbitration or by consent reached by mutual concessions.
capability noun	/ˌkeɪ.pəˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/	The power or ability to generate an outcome.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
end up verb	To bring to a conclusion.
go back to verb	To stem from; to originate in.
back down verb	To take a less aggressive position in a conflict than one previously had, or has planned to have.
burn out verb	To destroy by fire.
close together adjective	Near each other in time or space.
go through verb	To travel from one end of something to the other.
look up to verb	To show respect or admiration for (someone); to see (someone) as a role model.
put down verb	To insult, belittle, or demean.

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 84 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: thirsty /ˈθɝs.ti/, sixth /sɪksθ/, breathe /bɹiːð/, worthiness /ˈwɜː(ɹ)ðɪnəs/, pith /pɪθ/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, relation /ɹɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, shock /ʃɔk/
Long words — get the stress right: essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, psychology /saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, capability /ˌkeɪ.pəˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, indicator /ˈɪn.dɪˌkeɪ.tə(ɹ)/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like essentially, interact, prophet.

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	if I have both will and
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	be told · be chosen · being chosen
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	i've had · have been seized · she's never been

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: how you choose is how you're chosen - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Download App

you never lose, because it was never yours

ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BE KIND

If You Feel Like You LOST The One, WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey

Why Are We Friends? | Simon Sinek

My New Chapter

How to Know What You Really Want...And Why That's So Important

loving yourself is lonely

Stop introducing yourself like this.

Law of Attraction.