Shadowing Practice: I’m 45. I avoid people now. Here’s why… - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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I'm 45 years old and I avoid people now not
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because I don't like people but in fact
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because I love them I love them a lot
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and that's why I avoid people so before we get into
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that if you're looking for some clarity or direction
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or just another brother to hold space for you
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while you come up with real solutions for your situation book
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a call with me your old uncle E by clicking the link down below.
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So this weekend, old Uncle Elliot had 40 brothers here at the ranch.
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So 40 guys signed up to do a weekend retreat with me here at my house.
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And it was amazing.
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My parents were here.
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My children were here.
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Everybody pitched in to help.
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And we hosted a retreat, a campout retreat that lasted for two days, 48 hours, and it was amazing.
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It started off with a bang.
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We gathered in fellowship, and we prayed, and we spoke, and we cried, and we shouted.
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And then we did active meditations, and sat around a bonfire, and smoked cigars, and lifted weights,
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lifted stones, did straw man exercises, and spent a lot of time, many, many, many, many laps around my lake in the back.
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It was awesome.
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And I would do it again.
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I, in fact, am doing it again every quarter this year.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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And I love you.
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I love the guys that were here.
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But by the end of the,
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well, first day, I began to notice that my energy was waning.
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I was feeling at about 50% of my power bar
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if you think about a video game right
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which would make sense it's a two-day event and 50% would make sense
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but by the end of the second day I was totally dragging
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and although I was given everything I got I was smiling
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and I was taking pictures and I was cheering the guys on
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and I was giving people advice
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and holding space for them as they pulled me over to the side
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and shared their story with me and we hugged and we laughed
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and we cried and we shouted
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and we had such an emotional powerfully masculine time together um I was dead completely dead
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and I thought about my I thought about this at the end of the retreat
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when everyone had left
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and I really was lamenting at how dead I was by the end of the retreat
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and I just kept thinking to myself like what's the big deal it was only two days
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and I really didn't do anything physically arduous right like the
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guys were doing physical things the active meditations where they're pounding their chest
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and they're shouting and they're jumping uh lifting heavy stones and you just doing a lot of physical activities.
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It was all on them and they were lit up.
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They had more energy than me at the end of the weekend.
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And I could not figure out why.
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I was like, why is it that I, who was simply holding space, simply facilitating the program, not really doing the exercises themselves,
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and I definitely didn't lift as much as the guys, why did I feel so drained?
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And it dawned on me.
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I realized that it was the amount of love
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that I was pouring out all weekend in order to be fully present for every man in every moment
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that I possibly could.
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And I felt ashamed
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that at 50% on the end of the second day my
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ability to love my ability to hear my ability to hold space
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was beginning to wane and I say this to you I share this with you because if you're anything like me,
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you're a guy who has a lot to offer.
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You're a person who has a lot of love for other people and you want to guide them.
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Maybe you're a coach.
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Maybe you're a guide.
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Maybe you're a spiritual director.
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Maybe you're a trainer.
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Maybe you're just someone who is there for their friends when they're going through hard times.
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And guys like us, people like us,
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people who live to guide others have a tendency to be
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permeable with our energy meaning we give a lot of our energy away
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because we want to we also open ourselves up to receive a lot from other people even
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if it's things
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that are difficult like hearing about the hard childhood the deaths in the family the confusion
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and the distraction and the hard things that people are dealing with
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when you're permeable pouring out your love
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but also opened up to receive some of the darker emotions
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from other people it's gonna beat you up it's gonna beat you up
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and it beat me up
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and it's been beating me up for years a lot of
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you guys started following me on my YouTube channel that's the
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strength channel Elliott Hull strength it started out as strength camp
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but I don't call it strength camp anymore because I closed strength camp
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and over these years you've watched my peak and fall in popularity
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and when i think about this weekend that peak
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and then fall of energy it starts to make sense to me why my career looked the way it did
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because as i was getting started in my career just like
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when i was getting started preparing for the event yesterday uh there was a lot of excitement
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but not much pressure nobody was here nobody was there nobody knew who i was back then
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and in that i was able to pour out all of my focus on creation creativity and setting the stage
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for what would ultimately come.
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Now for my career it peaked in 2014 when
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that strength channel reached 1.8 million subscribers right now but a million subscribers in 2014.
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And I went from being a lone trainer in a warehouse
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gym in the south side of St. Pete where it was completely desolate
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but for a few crackheads and prostitutes to being internationally recognized and people coming to my gym,
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knocking on the window, looking in all times of the day.
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Even when I was just doing work and I needed to be silent, I needed to be by myself, I had people showing up,
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people that would come from miles and miles away, cities away, or even countries away, looking for me just to get a piece of my love.
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and that peak of popularity and people loving me and and
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and and even some people not loving me
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but the energy of other people all this energy of other people literally cracked me up
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and i couldn't understand why back then either i couldn't understand why there were
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so many other famous people
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and i'm not like i was i'm like this famous in
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the spectrum of fame i you know think about Hollywood celebrities and guys like that.
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Like, how is it that they can maintain their sanity for so long,
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living, doing a career that attracts so many different energies from so many different people and maybe even drains them, and they don't crack up the way that I cracked up.
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And it has a lot to do with the type of person that I'm really coming to grips with,
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fact that I am really coming to be honest with myself about how I operate.
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I don't know if you call someone like you and me an empath.
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I've heard people say we're chosen ones.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I also know that this is consistent with ADHD.
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I'm just a little different.
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We're a little different and if we don't protect ourselves
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if we don't know ourselves and we don't protect ourselves we'll be destroyed
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and that's exactly what happened to me in 2016
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and at the peak of my event this weekend except I'm a lot wiser
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and older now so I kind of knew what to do
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but back then I closed my gym
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and I moved my office up to a loft somewhere far away from where strength camp was
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and I let my partner at the time gym partner take strength camp over
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because I couldn't handle it anymore all the people
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that were coming in all the members
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that were coming in all the visitors from out of town
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and the god-awful fucking rap music
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that was blasting all the time made me fucking crazy I just couldn't handle it I know
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that there are people
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that can live in those kinds of environments constantly all day being surrounded by people in loud music
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and they're doing just great and I'm not saying
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that those people don't love the way I love but
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when I love I pour it out thick
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and I suffer now I'm not whining I'm not complaining I'm not saying
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that we shouldn't love
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but there's a way to go about giving our love brothers I'm going to talk to you little bit about this.
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But over the course of the years after peaking in that particular way, God set me down and put me into a cocoon.
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From age 36 to 45 where I'm at right now, I've been up and down all around kind of confused doing things and hiding from you.
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Doing things and not doing things and disappearing for months or two at a time.
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And I think it was appropriate, I think it was normal, I I think that entire,
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almost, you know, over 10 years was a deep transformative initiation,
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a liminal space of change for me.
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And I learned a lot of things in these years.
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I learned a lot of things about myself and I learned what I needed to know.
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I'm able to see myself in a way I couldn't see myself before.
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and finally opened myself up again to share my love with retreats like I did this weekend.
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Now, you know, I mentioned earlier that I was a little confused about why my energy was drained.
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It's not that I was confused.
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The truth is I knew that that was going to happen, but I didn't expect it to be so rapid, and I didn't expect it to onset so hard.
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What I knew I needed to do was take space.
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I needed to take time.
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I needed to be by myself and rest.
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Rest and recharge the batteries.
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If you're a lover of people, if you're a coach, you're a trainer, you're a guide like me.
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Fellas, you gotta take care of yourself first.
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And it only happens
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when you avoid people you got to avoid being around them you have to spend time by yourself
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if you i spoke to a young trainer yesterday who's doing 30 hours of training a week
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and he says it's just the amount that he can handle
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but he's a little freaked out
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because he's saying he wants to take on more clients and
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and do 40 hours a week because it would help him have more money.
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And he knew deep inside, following his intuition, that that wouldn't be right.
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It was attractive to go after that extra money.
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But he knew that
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that extra money wouldn't be worth the sacrifice he'd be making to the love that he could give to his clients, the 30 that he has now.
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And so he said no to the money.
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That might be what you have to do.
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Say no to more clients.
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Say no to more contracts say no to more videos like I did to protect yourself from the onslaught
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and the drainage
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of energy your love
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because that's really what your energy is energy is love how do you you can't
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if you don't have energy you can't give love and if you were pouring out love like a sacrificial lamb
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blood and water every day and you don't recover and you forget
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that you're not a savior you're not a savior you're a
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mirror you're a space holder you're a guide not a savior that's Jesus Christ you carry your cross
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but your cross must look very different.
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Your cross may look like taking time off, saying no when people want you.
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You need to have time every day where you do nothing and consume nothing.
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If you're having a hard time deciding what your next phase is in life, what the next thing you're supposed to do in life, or you're just fucking frustrated with the way things are going right now,
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it's because you need silence, you need time, you need space, you need boundaries.
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And those boundaries, in those boundaries, God can fill you back up so
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that you have what you need in order to proceed in your gift giving of love, brothers.
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So I'm 45 and I avoid people now.
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I avoid people virtually.
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I avoid too many people in my business.
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I don't have a bunch of business partners and a bunch of people that I work with because it's all noise.
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Social media is a noise.
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Friends are noise.
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Business partners are noise.
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Clients are noise.
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You can't hear the still small voices because you got too much noise.
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Too many people speaking in your ear, even if it's positive things, and that can become addicting too.
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Oh, you've helped me.
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You've healed me.
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You saved me.
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No. I'm just pouring out God's love, and if I don't feel back up,
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I won't have anything left for you because I won't have anything for me.
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So my brothers, if this message resonates with you, it means that maybe you're sensitive like I am,
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a little emotional, empathetic, or maybe you're a chosen one.
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I don't know, bro.
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But as you start paying attention and listening to yourself and honoring what you need so that you can give even more,
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you'll start to realize that love is infinite, but it requires recharging.
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Done.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 204 sentences and 2328 words to shadow. The speech runs for 15:09. The speaker talks at a natural 154 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 83% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| retreat noun | /ɹɪˈtɹiːt/ | The act of pulling back or withdrawing, as from something dangerous, or unpleasant. |
| pour verb | /poɹ/ | To cause (liquid, or liquid-like substance) to flow in a stream, either out of a container or into it. |
| trainer noun | /ˈtɹeɪnɚ/ | A person who trains another; a coach. |
| confused adjective | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | unable to think clearly or understand |
| crack noun | /kɹæk/ | A thin and usually jagged space opened in a previously solid material. |
| boundary noun | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | The dividing line or location between two areas. |
| drain noun | /dɹiːn/ | A conduit allowing liquid to flow out of an otherwise contained volume; a plughole (UK) |
| shout verb | /ʃaʊt/ | To utter a sudden and loud cry, as in joy, triumph, exultation or anger, or to attract attention, to animate others, etc. |
| savior noun | /ˈseɪvjɚ/ | A person who saves someone, rescues another from harm. |
| uncle noun | /ˈʌŋ.kl̩/ | The brother or brother-in-law of one’s parent. |
| popularity noun | /ˌpɑ.pjəˈlæɹ.ə.ti/ | The quality or state of being popular; especially, the state of being widely liked or in favor with the people at large. |
| meditation noun | /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/ | A devotional exercise of, or leading to, contemplation. |
| subscriber noun | /səbˈskɹaɪbɚ/ | A person who subscribes to a publication or a service. |
| consistent adjective | /kənˈsɪs.tənt/ | Of a regularly occurring, dependable nature. |
| mirror noun | /ˈmiɹɚ/ | A smooth surface, usually made of glass with reflective material painted on the underside, that reflects light so as to give an image of what is in front of it. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| crack up verb | /ˈkɹæk ˈʌp/ | To laugh heartily. |
| back up verb | To move backwards, especially for a vehicle to do so. | |
| come up with verb | To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it. | |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. | |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. | |
| sit around verb | To spend time sitting idly, not doing anything important. | |
| start out verb | To emerge suddenly; to jump out. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 89 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: thick /θɪk/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, empath /ˈɛm.pæθ/, empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: shout /ʃaʊt/, meditation /mɛdɪˈteɪʃn̩/, confusion /kənˈfjuːʒən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- Long words — get the stress right: popularity /ˌpɑ.pjəˈlæɹ.ə.ti/, celebrity /səˈlɛb.ɹɪ.ɾi/, virtually /ˈvɚ.t͡ʃə.wə.li/, creativity /kri.eɪˈtɪv.ᵻ.ti/, facilitate /fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like retreat, pour, trainer.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | you've watched · I've heard · I've been |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was given · be destroyed · being surrounded |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | guy who has · person who has · someone who is |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.