Shadowing Practice: I Tried Swedish Death Cleaning at 35 (and it changed how I live) - Learn English Speaking with Video

My grandma devoted her whole life to Buddhism, and when she passed, these meditation beads were all that she left behind.

She lived her life with the idea that nothing we own really belongs to us.

Eventually, everything gets left behind.

I think of her every time I meditate with these mala beads, but I know her presence isn't in them.

She lives in me and the world around me, and without ever trying to, she taught me this simply through the way that she lived.

I think most of us already know this,

but why do we spend our whole lives collecting things only to leave them behind for the people that we love?

Is it really a gift or is it a burden?

There actually seems to be a solution for this.

It's called Swedish death cleaning.

I know it sounds a bit intense but I promise it isn't as heavy as it sounds.

Swedish death cleaning isn't about preparing for the end of our lives.

The way that I see it, it's about choosing to live more intentionally by clearing out everything that doesn't belong to the life that you're living

so the people you love don't have to do it one day.

And what makes a difference from regular decluttering is the intention and the question you ask yourself.

While Marie Kondo would ask, does this spark joy?

The Swedish Death Cleaning would ask, will anyone be happy that I kept this?

This one question turns letting go into an act of love, rather than just tidying up.

I'll be honest with you guys, when I first heard of Swedish Death Cleaning, I thought, what an interesting title.

But it probably isn't for me, because it sounds like something that you do towards the end of your life, when you're going through decades worth of stuff, so that it doesn't pile up for somebody else.

But then, I actually read the book, and out of nowhere, it just kind of hit me that somebody else isn't some family member in the future,

that somebody can be me, my future self.

And I can see it as a way of decluttering my life

so that the future me doesn't have to carry the weight of my past.

Every time we enter a new chapter, we bring things with us.

Remnants of our past packed into boxes, unresolved feelings stuffed into drawers, regrets and memories moving from one shelf to the other.

But at some point, we need to face it head on.

And we can honor the person that we were in the past without having to carry it with us everywhere we go.

So that's how I am approaching Swedish death cleaning, and I hope that you'll try this decluttering with me.

There are some moments in our lives where we need to declutter everything we own.

For a big move, breakups, becoming a parent.

I've been there a handful of times and it literally feels like shedding your old life away.

But this, this is not that kind of declutter for me.

My life from the outside looks the same, but there has been an inner shit for me in the last couple of months.

I haven't decluttered in ages.

I feel like it's been, yeah, since we moved to Portugal, it was like two years ago.

Because we came here with nothing, so it didn't make sense.

We just needed stuff more than anything.

I feel like there's so many things that just don't make sense anymore.

I'm going to actually try on all of my clothes

and see which ones that actually make sense for my lifestyle and which ones don't even fit anymore.

I'm 35, and I've already loved several completely different versions of myself in my lifetime.

All different homes, different habits, different lives, and in all of those versions, I collected pieces that made perfect sense for me at the time.

But we change, and we have to honor that change by letting go of what no longer fits us.

I noticed that the pieces that I wanted to get rid of are the ones that feel a little too tight,

a little too revealing, and that does not really fit my current lifestyle in Portugal.

While I was trying on my clothes, I was asking myself, is this a hundred percent yes?

When was the last time I wore it?

Does this reflect the person I'm growing into?

I have quite a collection of books now,

but some of them I know that I'm just never gonna read again, and I don't see the point of having them just on my shelf for the sake of having them.

So I'm going to go through them and see which ones I really know I want to read over and over again.

You are allowed to change your mind.

That is something I have to tell myself every once in a

while because sometimes I feel guilty that I spend money and I don't like it.

But I learned that even if I'm extremely careful, do all my research and wait 30 days, sometimes I end up not liking the thing.

So then it makes no sense to keep it around hoping that I'm going to fall in love with it one day.

As I was flipping through the pages, I kept asking myself, which books do I find value in even when I read them over and over again?

And which ones am I keeping for the person I think I should be?

If you guys are looking for something really good to read this summer, I want to share a book with you.

It's called Journey of Sunsets by Nigeli.

And she actually came to my retreat last year.

She told me that she was going publish a book

and here it is it's a story of transformation self-discovery

and lessons along the way so if you enjoy

that type of book i'll leave a little link in the description below

when you walk into your space how does it make you

feel for my future self i want to be able to to come into my living room

and relax and spend time with people.

So if there's anything getting in the way of that, it's probably clutter.

I find it so much easier to just clean the space first, get rid of trash or any misplaced items, then focus on what creates the most visual noise.

Things on the surface, like extra throw pillows or tiny little decor items.

Last but not least, you can go into the details by opening the drawers and the cabinets.

this thing still support the life that I'm living now?

What items add to my life and what items are getting in the way?

Would the person I am today still choose to bring this into my life?

Kitchen is probably the most used room in our house, so I wanted to feel very spacious and organized when I come in so I can do my thing.

Again, probably start with the obvious things.

Expired condiments and sauces, snacks that were maybe gifted, or a souvenir that you will never eat again.

This should already clear up a lot of space.

Now you can work your way from the outside in.

Start with the countertops, then the cabinets, then the drawers.

I'm asking myself, what's taking up space and what's a tool that's actually helping me?

Do I realistically use this or do I just like the idea of having it.

They say that we take photos of things that we're afraid to lose.

I've never looked at photos the same since.

I know that I will never forget these moments and these images, but sometimes it is nice to look at them.

I think when it comes to sentimental things, we should only keep the ones that make us feel good.

And the thing is, you can almost always instinctively know when you pick up the item.

I kept this letter from a childhood friend for almost 20 years now, but last year we actually connected thanks to social media,

and when I held the letter in my hands this time, it no longer felt like something I needed to hold on to.

I think the beautiful thing about life is that it's cyclical.

We are cyclical beings.

We're constantly changing, growing out of our old versions,

stepping into new seasons, and maybe it's all about learning which parts to hold onto and which parts to let go.

I don't think the goal is to live so carefully that we never create any mess.

Even if we try our best to be mindful, life gets messy.

At least, that's how I live, and I will always continue to be that way.

But I think what matters more than getting it right the first time is just being aware

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and checking in with yourself every now and then to see what still feels like you and what doesn't.

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That is a true act of love.

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for yourself and for your loved ones.

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And this is a deeper message I got from Swedish Deaf Cleaning.

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In the end, our legacy was never going to be the things that we leave behind.

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Our legacy is how fully we lived, how deeply we loved, how courageous we were in being ourselves,

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how present we were for the small, the big, the mundane moments.

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That's what my grandma taught me and she didn't have to leave anything behind to pass the sign.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing Practice: I Tried Swedish Death Cleaning at 35 (and it changed how I live) - Learn English Speaking with Video

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What is the Shadowing Technique?