Shadowing Practice: 25 things i wish i learned before 25. - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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So I've officially reached my mid-20s or the quarter-life crisis age of 25.
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Saying it out loud sounds kind of crazy.
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Like, I can't believe I'm at the age I used to joke about as a kid or better yet, the age I thought I would have kids, which, by the way, is not happening anytime soon.
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But every year around my birthday, I can't help but feel really sad.
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Like, it just kind of feels like there's this big impending cloud of doom hovering over my life.
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This year has been one of the hardest years in my life.
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Just personally, I've been going through some shit.
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And while I am really scared about the uncertainty of the future, simultaneously, I've never felt more at peace, which is insane to say out loud because I was
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that girl who used to wake up every day with a sense of panic.
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I used to dread every hard conversation, every conflict, every disappointment used to crush me.
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And even though it feels like my life is still very much in shambles right now, I actually feel quite calm at the same time.
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It's a weird feeling.
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I don't know how to describe it.
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And it's not that my life is perfect or I've somehow transcended all of my challenges and all of my pain.
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In fact, this year again has been one of the hardest years of my life.
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But I think the reason I'm not freaking out as much as I used to is
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because I've just learned a lot of tools and a lot of things that have helped me get here.
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And I wanna share those with you.
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So if I could go back in time and talk to 20 year old me, this is what I would tell her.
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Number one, listen to your mom seriously.
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I know my frontal lobe is developed because I actually agree with my mom.
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And I never thought I would say that because if you are a daughter, you know what I'm talking about.
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Like we always say, oh, I don't want to be like my parents.
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I'm going to be so much different than her.
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But we actually are extremely similar to our parents.
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And now I don't see that as a bad thing because I think my mom is such a badass.
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She's gone through a lot of shit.
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And I actually hope that I can be as strong as her one day.
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Looking back, I realized that my mom predicted so many things I could not see.
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And trust me, I don't want to admit that she's right.
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But I'm gonna be honest, she is right.
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Like 98% of the time, your mom is always right.
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Of course, when we're young, we want to assert our independence, how much we know.
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I mean, I really thought that I knew everything there was to know about life.
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But in the end, my mom could always see through the BS when it came to my relationships, to my career, with my friendships.
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She always knew who people were at their core because she just reads energy so well.
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And yeah, I am becoming extremely similar to her, maybe a little bit too much.
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But at the same time, like I am just so proud to have a mom like her.
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And I don't know, again, I think I used to like resent all the advice that she'd tell me.
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And like, she's trying to like, you know, make me into a better person.
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I'm like, just leave me alone.
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Like I need to figure it out.
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But now anything my mom tells me, I'm just like so grateful.
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Number two, your body is in a constant state of change.
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For all women, sometime in your 20s, you will go through a second puberty.
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Yes, there is something called second puberty.
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You might gain weight, lose weight.
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Your hair might fall out.
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You might grow more hair.
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Your hair texture might change.
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You start sweating more, heat flashes, the whole thing.
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I grew up naturally skinny in a very body conscious household.
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Like I remember my grandma always telling me, oh, make sure you don't gain too much weight.
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Meanwhile, she's like trying to shove all this food in my face, telling me to eat it.
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I mean, our moms would make comments about their bodies.
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Our grandmas would do the same thing.
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I mean, they're just doing what they know.
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But like I was terrified of my body changing.
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Like my body dysmorphia was through the roof.
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And I'm not gonna lie, I still kind of have a little bit of that dysmorphia.
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But it is extremely normal because your hormones control so much more than we think.
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I know we think of hormones in terms of fertility or our periods, but they literally are the messengers for almost every single biological function in our body.
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So if you notice your body's changing or your body shape is like getting more curvy and you're not used to that, do not panic.
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Your body just needs time to find its set point.
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Especially as women, we cannot expect our bodies to stay the exact same our entire life change is
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so good like I grew up being a tomboy I actually like didn't want a super big chest
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if that makes sense like I wanted to wear t-shirts
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and just like be cool and then
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when I got older I'm like oh I actually wish I did have boobs
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and like I did have more curves
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and now I think the female body is so beautiful
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and I don't know why we're not appreciating like our fullness enough The biggest lie we were ever told is
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that your prime is in your 20s.
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Screw that.
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I think our prime is in our 30s, 40s beyond.
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I feel like I'm still not at my prime.
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So don't keep yourself in a box all the time.
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We need to accept change and celebrate it because it really is a beautiful thing.
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Number three, go to bed early.
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Probably the biggest sign that you know you're getting older is
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when you care so much about how much sleep you get and your sleep quality.
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Five years ago, I could have pulled all-nighters.
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I could have been like partying till 2 a.m., come home, wake up at five, like do all of that.
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Now I can't even fathom doing that to my body.
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Like if I don't get seven to eight hours of sleep, I'm a wreck.
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I'm terrible to be around.
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I feel like I want to strangle somebody and everything pisses me off.
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Like I get it.
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When we're young, you want to stay up as long as possible, work late, go out late.
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But now I want to be in bed ASAP.
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Something I wish I realized sooner is
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that sleep is the most important function for your body this
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is the time for cell repair renewal rejuvenation your body is
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literally detoxing sleep has the same importance as going to the bathroom you have to do it not only that
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but sleep also affects your gut health skin hormones hair muscle
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cognitive function the less sleep you get on a daily basis
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the more you are compromising every single part of your body
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and when your body cannot perform optimally other things start to be affected as well
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so with all that being said go to to bed early.
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Number four, scalp care is just as important as hair care.
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I spent most of my teens and early 20s buying this shampoo, that oil, that hair mask, and I completely ignored my scalp.
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It's like watering the leaves of a plant, but never the soil.
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And what nobody told me is that stress shows up in your body in so many different ways.
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And for me, that's my hair.
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I never thought I would lose so much hair.
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And for women, our hair is such a big part of our confidence.
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That's why I've been focusing on my actual scalp health
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and the one thing I'm doing differently now is using red light therapy, specifically the eye restore elite.
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It's non-invasive, drug-free, FDA cleared and dermatologist recommended.
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I only need to wear it for 12 minutes a day and I love that I can multitask with it.
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This is actually the highest power LED hair device out there and it's genuinely comparable to in clinic treatments.
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When I started using this consistently, I noticed a huge improvement in my hair shedding and confidence.
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Realizing you're getting older is already hard enough, but your hair shouldn't add to that.
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I will never regret investing in myself, so that's why I think the price is perfectly justifiable.
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If you want to take your scalp health more seriously, I'll link the iRestore Elite device below where you can use code BEC and save $905.
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Number five, comparison is a made-up game.
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Guys, comparison is an illusion.
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We think we're in competition with others, but we're only competing with ourselves.
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It's almost like you imagine you're looking at someone else through a window, but that window is actually a mirror.
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When we compare ourselves to other people or we make judgments on them, those are actually reflections about how we feel about ourselves.
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What you envy in others, like money, fame, beauty, popularity, those are all your insecurities.
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It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with yourself.
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This idea of comparison, guess what?
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It only exists in your mind.
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No one is telling you to compare yourself to this person or that person.
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You are doing that all on your own.
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And again, I'm preaching to myself here because I used to do that constantly.
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Never satisfied, always looking at social media, wishing I had that life, her looks, her body.
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But the truth is, it's not that I ever wanted to be that person, but I just wanted to feel like enough.
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And I think we assume that everyone on social media loves their life.
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You have no idea what someone else is going through.
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Yeah, they might have the perfect body they might look a certain way, but they could be miserable.
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And I would never want to put myself in that position.
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Stop being so concerned with other people because no matter how bad you want to be someone else, it is never worth the sacrifice.
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Number six, your boundaries will be tested.
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I don't know what's going on in the air.
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Like is Mercury still in retrograde or whatever it's called?
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Because why is everyone in my life going through shit?
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Like this year is the year of starting and ending friendships for myself and for other people in my life.
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Listen, you will come across so many people who will test your boundaries.
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And it's not that they're doing it on purpose, but they will test how much respect you have for yourself.
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People are going to do some crazy stuff to themselves and to you, and you need to stay firm.
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No one is forcing you to hang out with people you don't want to associate with.
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Only you get to decide who you spend your time with and what you do with them.
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Adulthood is this big game of self-control.
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Like who has the most self-control?
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And you'll probably have to cut off people you've known for years.
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And it's not that they're bad people, but your values are up here and theirs might be here.
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You're not aligned.
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And that is okay.
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You are not meant to be attached at the hip with someone.
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Adulthood is also a weird thing
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because it's not like you can just call someone names on the playground and then run away.
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I've been in situations where I don't have the best relationship with someone.
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Maybe we had like a disagreement or they did something to me
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that I didn't agree with and I still have to see them when I go out or when I go to events.
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Like strictly on a professional level, we have to be cordial.
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And that's okay too.
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If I ever cut someone off, it's not that I ever like wish bad upon them or I'm gonna like confront them out in public.
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Don't do stuff like that.
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Have some respect, keep your cool.
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And again, you don't need to go home with them at the end of the day.
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Number seven, grief starts sooner than you think.
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I used to think
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that I would have a lot of time before I would have to go through my parents getting older, thinking about death, et cetera.
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I'm like, oh, that's gonna be when I'm 30, 40, or 50.
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But that starts now.
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Like, that starts in your 20s.
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And I can't believe nobody told me that.
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And it's something we don't talk about.
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I think because our 20s are characterized by being independent, moving out, figuring out yourself, new careers.
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Like, there's a lot of new beginnings and new chapters, but nobody talks about how hard it is to watch the people around you get older.
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Not only that, but like lose their abilities to do stuff.
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And something I've talked about a lot in my videos is anticipatory grief and how it takes over your entire life.
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Like you can't sleep, you can't work, you can't hang out with your friends without thinking about someone in your family dying at any moment.
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Again, I used to think my 20s were going to be so carefree, but I've never been more stressed in my life.
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I think with maturity comes realism.
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And now I consider myself a very realistic person.
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I'm very logical.
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I think before I used to be like driven by emotion and, you know, thinking everything was a fantasy, but I really do see everything in a life or death way.
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Not that that's bad.
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I think I'm just extremely aware of the impermanence of life.
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But despite it being really hard, watching my family get older and like constantly thinking about death, I am very grateful for it.
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Over the years, I've come to learn that grief doesn't always have to be such like a bad thing.
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I think grief is actually a sign of how much you love someone.
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That their existence in this world means that much to you.
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And you can't fathom the idea of them being gone.
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Grief is just a sign that you loved someone enough to miss them.
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So if you are grieving right now, or you're going through that anticipatory grief where they're not gone yet, but you also feel like really sad and like depressed and angry,
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I am with you on that.
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And I think we need to talk about it more publicly
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because there are so many people going through this and they don't show it.
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Grief can be a very isolating experience and it makes you feel like you're the only one going through something, but I promise you you're not.
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Because let's be honest, death is the most universal human experience.
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We will all transition at some point and just know that it is so normal to have these thoughts.
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I know it's really scary, but at the same time, it just gives you a different perspective.
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Everything that happens to you is for your highest good.
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Had I not gone through all this angst about, you know, my grandma or my parents, like, and really spent time thinking about what it would be like if they were gone.
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Like I've learned to really cherish every moment
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and to like really celebrate life because it is so beautiful and nothing is really ever guaranteed.
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And I know most of us are still pretty young and healthy, but you really don't know what's going to happen.
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Never take life for granted.
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Never take your loved ones for granted and know that it's a very, very normal part of your twenties.
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Number eight, if you are a creator or yourself employed, set aside your tax money.
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I think not being more financially literate was the biggest mistake in my early 20s.
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Like I wish I was more financially literate
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and I wish I just took the time to learn basic things like how to file my taxes, what are deductibles, what does everything mean, what are the different tax forms,
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like just basic stuff that of course they don't teach you in school.
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But one very easy finance budgeting thing that you can do right now is to set aside money for taxes,
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especially if you are a content creator, entrepreneur, or you're self-employed.
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My partner told me this one time and I've never forgotten it.
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He's like, there are two things you cannot avoid in this life, death and taxes.
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We cannot avoid paying taxes, but it doesn't have to stress you out.
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Here's the thing, rather than being stressed out every single year when it's time to pay your taxes, why don't you just allocate money aside for your taxes throughout the year?
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When I started doing this, I'm like, why doesn't everyone do this?
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And why did I not think of this sooner.
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Like it sounds so basic, but it's just another aspect of budgeting that we don't really think about.
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When you set aside money for taxes throughout the year, you will always ensure that you have enough for your taxes.
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And then when you finally go to pay your taxes, it doesn't feel as scary because it's not like this huge chunk of money coming out of your only account.
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Speaking of finances, number nine, avoid debt at all costs.
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I know this can be a no-brainer for some people, but so many people our age are in debt.
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And not only does it affect your credit score, but it affects your chances of buying a house, getting insurance, buying a car, et cetera.
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The government does not wanna see that you have liabilities.
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So do not go into debt, never spend more than you have, by the way, okay, like on credit cards, and always pay your balance on time and in full.
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Listen, I treat my credit card like it's a debit card.
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I always kind of know what I have in my checking account and I never spend more than that.
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My thing is, if I can't afford something comfortably, I won't even buy it at all.
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Like if I know that this purchase is going to make me a little bit financially unstable, I'm not even gonna do it because why would I put myself in that position?
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All right, I'm gonna sound like an old lady for this, but I really don't care.
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Modesty is classy.
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Like being sophisticated is self-confidence.
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I really think that we as a society have lost the concept of modesty.
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And I'm not saying that people who wear revealing clothes are not confident.
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Like I am a big advocate for people wearing whatever they want to wear, as long as it's not offensive to anybody.
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But to dress modestly and to be modest, it is a different kind of deeply rooted confidence, especially for women.
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Because I still feel like that as women, our worth or our value or our personalities are tied to the things that we wear.
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And the world judges us for it.
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Like I don't want us to feel pressured to wear certain things in order to be perceived as beautiful.
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I think women can be sexy in dresses, and I think that we can be sexy in suits.
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I think we can be sexy in bikinis and also sexy in fully covered outfits.
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And it's not just modesty in clothing, but it's also mannerisms too.
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Modesty has to do with the way you act in public.
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It's not yelling or shouting, but it's speaking with confidence at an appropriate level and knowing when to be silent or to speak up.
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It's pausing, thinking before you speak, enunciating your words.
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At this point in my life, I don't feel the need to constantly be drawing attention to myself.
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I know what I bring to the table
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and I don't need to use clothes or makeup
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or my hair in order to do that And
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because we are in the society that is very hyper aware of beauty standards
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and consumerism And all these different things
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that we can do to our body I think we will have a shift where all of
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that becomes the opposite I think today's feminism is really about not giving an f about who sees me
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or what they think of me
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Or not feeling pressured to go get this treatment done
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because everyone else is doing it I think real feminism is modesty by choice And again, it's knowing that we are already inherently confident.
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I don't need to tell you that I am.
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Number 11, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
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In friendships or romantic relationships, please believe people's first impression.
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If a guy takes you on a date, doesn't pay the bill, doesn't open your door, is rude to the people around him, please believe him and believe that he is not a considerate person.
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It is very hard and uncommon for people to change
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and don't think that it's going to get better as soon as you start dating.
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Or that, oh, he just needs time to learn
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and like I can teach him some things and then he'll be a great boyfriend.
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People are who they are when you first meet them.
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So if something is bothering you on day one, there's a very good chance that it's still going to bother you on day 365.
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Even if you have the slightest feeling of uneasiness or you don't think that this is the person for you, believe that feeling.
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As my mom tells me, people only get worse.
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You need to decide if you want a relationship with this person at face value, not their potential.
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So you need to be asking yourself
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if this person were to stay the same for the rest of their life or potentially get worse, would I still want to be with them?
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If the answer is yes, then okay, that might be your person.
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And if not, on to the next.
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Number 12, your first job will not be your dream job.
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I had a very hard time with this because I have a very low tolerance for being unhappy in my career.
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Like I physically cannot work in a job I do not like.
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But unfortunately, that is required for this lifetime.
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You will be doing so many things you don't like to do.
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The other thing too is you have no idea where an opportunity could take you.
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Yeah, it might not be your dream job, but you'll still learn a lot of things that you can apply to your next job.
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Just because you wanna be an actor doesn't mean you should automatically reject an assistant position.
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Just because you wanna be a designer doesn't mean you shouldn't work in retail.
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No one ever becomes a CEO at step one.
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I don't know where I saw this, but I saw a post on, I think it was LinkedIn or Instagram,
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where the CEO of Costco started off at like the bare like bottom entry-level job.
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And over the years, he worked his way up to get to that C-suite position.
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Sometimes you will have to work jobs you hate, deal with bad people, learn the skills you didn't think you needed to learn.
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But again, it is for your highest good.
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Every experience you get, every setback only fuels you for the next thing.
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And I truly think had it not been for all the different detours I took
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and all the mistakes and all the steps backward I took in order to get to this point, like all of that prepared me for what I do now.
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Sometimes we don't know why we're doing something until it becomes revealed later on
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that it was actually the best thing for us at the time.
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Like I was teaching students and making lesson plans and, you know, dealing with very difficult situations.
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I learned a lot of patience
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and I also learned how to be a good teacher
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which is a very very important skill for a lot of different things and
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when it came to YouTube videos teaching is a very transferable
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skill teaching made me a better creator it helped me understand people
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and empathize and it also taught me how to grab attention
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and to hold it so trust me
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when I say all of your experiences prepare you for the
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next one nothing is ever for waste number 13 you won't find your real friends for a while Every single year, I think, okay, now I've solidified my group of friends until the next year.
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Then my friendships start to shift again.
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And then I think, okay, this is it.
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This is my permanent friend group until it's not.
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It's like a constant flow of me getting closer to this person and to this person.
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And then we drift apart and then I get closer to this person.
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And like, I've had to accept that that is okay.
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Like I'm 25 and I just now feel like I've found the two to three close people in my life.
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And even within a friend group, there's still drama, breakups, some people move and then you never see them again.
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I don't know why I thought my 20s would be exactly
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like the show Friends where like I'd see everyone like every single day, we would do everything together.
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But that is just not the case.
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It's more like, okay, I have a friend here
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and then a friend there and then a couple people who are like in a different state.
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There's some people who I don't even talk to for months or a year.
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But over time, I've learned that friendship is very fluid.
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Like it doesn't have to be hanging out all the time and going to each other's houses.
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I think friendships are just simply relationships.
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And the testament of a real friendship is something that can survive the distance, the months without talking, the conflict.
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Number 14, take care of the skin on your body, not just your face.
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Again, it took me way too long to realize this.
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And now I regret it because I have like a crazy farmer's tan all over my body.
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Like the top of my arm is three shades darker than the under part of my arm.
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And it's not just discoloration, but it's also aging.
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Do not just wear SPF on your face.
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You also need to wear it on your body.
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And not only when it's like 90 degrees outside, but anytime there's sun.
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They say that you can always tell someone's real age by their hands or their neck.
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And that is so true because the neck and the hands are the parts that we neglect to put sunscreen on.
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Or we don't moisturize them.
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Like none of the product gets applied here or here.
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And let me tell you as someone who used to teach aesthetics for a living, dryness and dehydration is the number one cause of wrinkles.
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When the skin is dry, it is more prone to creasing and cracking.
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So always, always, always keep your skin moist, hydrated, and protected with SPF.
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I don't know why every time I think of this, I think of like Anne Hathaway, who wears like the whole full suit like anytime she goes to the beach.
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And honestly, she's a queen for that.
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And I mean, her skin looks amazing, so she's doing something right.
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I think we all need to take a page out of her book.
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Number 15, read every contract.
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Do not sign anything you haven't read.
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Getting sued or being in any legal trouble is the worst possible situation.
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Okay, people have gotten bankrupt because they can't afford to pay their lawyers.
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It can seriously ruin your life, so do not compromise yourself just because you are too lazy to read a document.
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Because my career is in social media and I'm always working with this brand, that brand, signing this deal, I probably go through one contract per week.
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And something I wish I learned earlier is that whoever writes the contract is writing it in favor of themselves.
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The contract is going to heavily benefit the person who wrote it.
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So never just agree to something and sign it just to avoid confrontation.
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If you don't like something in the contract, speak up about it.
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Because whatever you sign, that's what you're agreeing to.
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If something feels off or fishy, just ask.
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Something I also strongly recommend is if you're still like learning how to read contracts, get someone who knows how to read them.
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And have them review your contract for you.
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You have to know what to look for and the language that they're using.
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So if you ever feel unsure about something, always get a second opinion.
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Number 16, disease starts in your 20s.
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Cancer starts in the body years, even decades before the diagnosis.
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Like disease isn't just a one-off occurrence or it doesn't just happen randomly, but it's years of doing the wrong habits over and over.
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And again, as I'm watching my parents get older, I'm realizing this more and more.
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Like now I'm frustrated because I wish you had taken care of yourself sooner.
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And of course, I don't want to do that to my kids.
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So I am taking care of my health in my 20s now, not when I'm 50.
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Because by that point, it is too late.
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The habits you do in your 20s become your health conditions in your 50s.
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Just because you are young right now does not mean you're invincible.
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Eat whole foods, sleep early, don't do drugs, don't drink alcohol.
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Take care of your mental health and move your body.
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The sooner you start the right habits, the better off you'll be in the long run.
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I always say prevention is better than cure it's
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so much easier to just prevent disease from happening in the
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first place than having to deal with it later on and those hefty hospital bills.
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Number 17, there is no timeline.
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Like seriously, get this timeline idea out of your head.
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It does not exist.
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There is no age when you're supposed to be doing stuff, no like checkpoints or requirements.
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None of us are running the same race.
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And like I said, with the comparison thing, the more you keep looking at other people and what they're doing, the longer you are delaying your own success.
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Like you cannot win by looking at someone else's trophy, wishing it was yours.
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You are in your own lane.
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As long as you feel that everything you're doing right now aligns with you and your goals, that is all that matters.
381
There is no one recipe for how to live your life.
382
You create the recipe.
383
Number 18, no one knows what they're doing.
384
Like I want you guys to understand how confused and scared and lost everyone feels.
385
We are literally all the same.
386
We all have the same anxieties, insecurities, jealousy.
387
We are all human and therefore we all experience human emotions.
388
And the people that you envy on social media, you have no idea that they envy other people they see too.
389
Even people with tons and tons of experience don't know what they're doing sometimes.
390
Nobody has it all figured out.
391
Everyone is literally just trying their best every single day, trying to survive, trying to make a living.
392
So just remember that anytime you feel like you're not doing enough, Trust me, we all feel that way.
393
And me making this video talking about, oh, everything I learned by the time I'm 25.
394
Okay, yeah, some of this stuff I just learned this year.
395
I am not better than you or smarter than you, but I have learned a couple of things that could benefit you.
396
Number 19, you need to live alone at least once.
397
I think we all know that living alone at least once in your lifetime is crucial for self-development, but I never really understood how transformative it is until I actually moved out.
398
Like I thought I was independent before, No, there's levels to this, man.
399
When you physically live by yourself, like there's no one else in your space, you have way more responsibilities, way more expenses, and less dependency on other people.
400
And I don't know, I feel like your survival instincts just like increase because if something happens, like if someone breaks in or I don't know, my apartment floods, this is all on me.
401
It forces you to figure stuff out on your own.
402
Yeah, like I could call my mom and ask her for advice, but she's not here with me to fix it.
403
I gotta fix it myself.
404
You also hold yourself more accountable on things like groceries, bills.
405
And yeah, I think you just become like really self-aware about your own habits.
406
Like I didn't realize that I could go days without ever speaking out loud because there's no one here.
407
Like everything is just in my thoughts.
408
I'm like, wow, I haven't said anything all day long.
409
Like if there are two things you need to do before you settle down, it would be live alone and travel.
410
That is how you mature the most and learn that discipline.
411
Number 20, use the good stuff.
412
Again, over the past two years, I've just really come to learn the morbidity and unpredictability of life.
413
Like you never really know what's gonna happen at any given time.
414
And it's such a shame that so many of us don't allow ourselves to enjoy.
415
Last week, I watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love with my boyfriend.
416
And while the storyline was a little bit random at times, it really pointed out how we limit our own happiness sometimes.
417
Basically, the whole plot of this movie is Liz, this woman, divorces her husband, gets together with like a new dude and then realizes,
418
oh, this guy isn't actually the source of my happiness because I'm still unhappy.
419
And then she decides, okay, I'm gonna break up with him and then travel the world.
420
So she goes to Italy and then realizes like she learns her appetite for food.
421
And there she discovers that Europeans are known to take breaks and indulge in doing nothing.
422
And then she also goes to like India and Bali, but for some reason that Italy part of the movie like really stuck with me.
423
I think every part of the world, but especially America, has such a toxic view on productivity that if you're not constantly overworking yourself and like doing the most,
424
you're falling behind and you're lazy.
425
But why did that ever become the narrative?
426
We need to enjoy the food, enjoy using the fancy soaps and enjoy doing nothing.
427
You never, ever, ever want to regret an entire lifetime that wasn't fully lived.
428
Number 21, you will get acne for no reason.
429
This one is unfortunate, but also very unavoidable.
430
I used to have great skin my entire life.
431
And then three years ago, I started breaking out for no reason.
432
And guess what?
433
I still have acne spots from like a year ago that haven't even gone away.
434
Going back to the second puberty, your skin will change in your twenties, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.
435
Hormones, stress, diet, sleep, all of these can affect your skin.
436
And yeah, ever since going from like perfect skin to very imperfect skin, I felt like so insecure, like an imposter or something.
437
Like I literally lost all my confidence and I had like the worst skin dysmorphia.
438
Like I feel like every blemish I get on my face is so noticeable when in fact it's really not.
439
And it's also completely normal.
440
If there is one thing I can tell you, it's to just let your skin do its thing.
441
Stop trying to interfere so much.
442
Stop touching your face.
443
But also too, sometimes you do have to change what you're doing.
444
The products you've been using for the past couple years might not work for you anymore.
445
Like I recently had to switch up my entire routine and stop using the products I've been using for years.
446
Like it's really weird and I didn't want to let go of some of those products.
447
But I have to do what's best for my skin right now.
448
I've also made it my goal to get regular facials now.
449
Because I don't know why before I used to think, oh facials is only for like when you want to pamper yourself.
450
But no, it's actually like a really important part of skincare.
451
And everyone should be getting regular facials.
452
I just got one like a week ago and my skin looks so much better already.
453
I know it's expensive, but like you need to invest in yourself.
454
25 is the age where your skin starts losing 1% of collagen every single year.
455
So remember to take care of your skin.
456
Don't just jump on whatever product is trendy right now and like use what works for you.
457
And yeah, sometimes it's not just topical products.
458
You need more intensive treatments.
459
And the earlier you start, the better your skin will be.
460
Number 22, let people be disappointed.
461
It is not your job to maintain someone else's peace.
462
It is not your job to make people happy and it is not your job to agree with them.
463
You need to stop silencing yourself so that other people won't be disappointed.
464
I literally did this my entire life.
465
I kept ice skating because I didn't want to upset my coaches if I told them I wanted to quit.
466
I kept working at the family business longer than I should have because I didn't want to disappoint my family.
467
And I kept living at home because I didn't want people to think I was selfish for moving out.
468
And the truth is, people will still complain and be upset.
469
It is not your job to fix it.
470
You could be like the most perfect person, the kindest daughter, the best son in the world, and people will still have emotions, thoughts, and opinions about you.
471
And I think having a career on YouTube, especially in posting myself on the internet, really like has given me a thick skin.
472
Because no matter how perfect or non-controversial I try to be, someone will always be hating on it.
473
Like I'll get crazy comments, you guys, that don't have anything to do with me.
474
And I'm just like, okay, well, that's your opinion.
475
I don't care.
476
Like, I'm sorry.
477
I literally don't care because there are so many people out there who do resonate with what I'm saying.
478
So sorry, you don't agree with it.
479
But at the same time, like I'm not sorry.
480
Number 23, buy clothes that fit right, not trends.
481
Listen, trends come and go, but perfectly tailored clothes to your body will always be in style.
482
I don't care how in an outfit is.
483
If it doesn't look good on your body, it looks bad.
484
My hack for always looking put together is just wearing clothes that fit my body right.
485
I never buy pants that are too long.
486
I never buy a shirt that's too cropped.
487
And I never buy a dress that's too tight.
488
Just because something looks cute on the hanger doesn't mean it's gonna look cute on you.
489
If something is too long, too short, too tight, too loose, you're never going to reach for it because you know it doesn't fit right and it makes you feel uncomfortable.
490
Like I've wasted so much money buying clothes
491
that I realized like I never wear because I don't like how it looks on me.
492
Clothes that look like they were made for your body will always outperform trendy clothes or expensive clothes.
493
Number 24, embrace your youthful features.
494
For most of my teenage years, I wanted to look older.
495
Like I wanted to hide my baby face.
496
I felt like nobody took me seriously.
497
I always got carded when I went out.
498
And I don't know, I just wanted to like fit into the Western beauty standards.
499
The fox eyes, snatched jaw, chiseled cheeks.
500
And I realized that if I looked like that, I wouldn't recognize myself.
501
Like that would look kind of weird.
502
You know, Uncanny Valley like it would be looking like that.
503
It is so much more chic and attractive to embrace your natural face.
504
And here's the thing, you should never take your youth for granted because one day you'll wake up and it'll be gone.
505
Like I just hear so many stories like on social media of women waking up one day and they don't recognize themselves.
506
Like it seems like their face just dropped all of a sudden.
507
And I don't know, that kind of scares me.
508
And there will be a day where I wake up and I wish I look younger.
509
I am so grateful for the way I look now
510
and I actually kind of love that I look younger for my age.
511
All of us who have that baby face are gonna age like wine.
512
Number 25, nobody knows what you want.
513
Ask for it.
514
Closed mouths, don't get fed.
515
And in my relationships, I've learned this the hard way.
516
So often we want the other person to just read our mind, to know what we want.
517
I don't wanna have to tell you, I just want you to do it.
518
And especially as a woman, like I don't want to tell you how to comfort me.
519
I just want you to know what to say.
520
You should know how to care for me, right?
521
but sometimes you just have to tell people straight up what you want.
522
Nobody can learn how to love you unless you tell them.
523
And the same is true with life.
524
You can't get the promotion if you don't ask for it.
525
You can't buy the house if you don't apply for it.
526
And you can't make more friends if you don't introduce yourself.
527
Nobody can read your mind.
528
If you want something, you have to ask.
529
Throughout my 20s, I've learned how to be less fearful.
530
Less fearful of my environment, less fearful about what other people are going to think of me.
531
And it's really allowed me to open up and get the things that I want.
532
Every single thing that you desire is on the other side of discomfort.
533
And I know sometimes you don't want to open your mouth and ask for help or ask for care, but I'd rather be uncomfortable with asking for something than living in discomfort forever.
534
I know sometimes life can feel really scary and your 20s are like the most confusing, scariest, loneliest time in your life.
535
But through all the discomfort and the uncertainty, there is the most growth.
536
And I truly feel like had it not been for every single struggle
537
and every single challenge and every single setback that I faced, I wouldn't be as strong as I am today.
538
And I know it's cliche, but that's why they say diamonds are made in the rough.
539
In order to really become that person that you so desperately want to be, you need to go through the hard stuff, but you don't have to do it alone.
540
I am so grateful for every single one of you watching this.
541
I feel like over the years, we've really built such a strong community on this channel.
542
And I cannot thank you guys enough for just like being here and supporting me and supporting one another.
543
My whole goal for like making these videos and for just putting myself out there is not for me, but it's purely because I want you guys to feel like you belong somewhere.
544
And I want you to feel like you are not alone going through these things, through the grief, through the uncertainty, through the financial instability.
545
I have been there every step of the way.
546
And I can tell you from my firsthand experience, it does get better.
547
And this is not the end of your story.
548
This is only the middle part and you will come out the other side of it.
549
You always will.
550
If something in this video resonated with you, I would love to know in the comments below.
551
I absolutely love talking to you guys.
552
I feel like we're all just one big family.
553
As always, thanks so much for watching, for subscribing, for supporting, and I'll see you in the next one.
554
Bye.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 554 sentences and 7566 words to shadow. The speech runs for 35:10. The speaker talks fast, about 215 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| grief noun | /ɡɹiːf/ | Suffering, hardship. |
| friendship noun | /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ | The condition of being friends. |
| sexy adjective | /ˈsɛksi/ | Having sex appeal; attractive. |
| grateful adjective | /ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/ | Of a person or their actions, feelings, etc.: expressing gratitude or appreciation; appreciative, thankful. |
| habit noun | /ˈhæb.ɪt/ | An action performed on a regular basis. |
| anytime adverb | At any time. | |
| hormone noun | /ˈhoɹmoʊn/ | Any substance produced by one tissue and conveyed by the bloodstream to another to effect physiological activity. |
| lifetime noun | /ˈlaɪf.taɪm/ | The duration of the life of someone or something. |
| regret verb | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | To feel sorry about (a thing that has or has not happened), afterthink: to wish that a thing had not happened, that something else had happened instead. |
| scary adjective | /ˈskɛə.ɹi/ | Causing fear or anxiety |
| creator noun | /kɹiːˈeɪ̯təː/ | Something or someone which creates or makes something. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| uncertainty noun | /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/ | Doubt; the condition of being uncertain or without conviction. |
| financially adverb | In terms of finance or money. | |
| envy noun | /ˈɛnvi/ | Resentful desire of something possessed by another or others (but not limited to material possessions). |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| move out verb | To leave one's present location; to leave somewhere for another place. | |
| set aside verb | /sɛt.əˈsaɪd/ | To separate and reserve something for a specific purpose. |
| wake up verb | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | To stop sleeping; to awake. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. | |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. | |
| grow up verb | To mature and become an adult. | |
| come across verb | To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true | used to joke · used to wake · used to dread |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | I've been going · I've been focusing · you've been using |
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if I looked like that, I wouldn't recognize |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has been · I've never felt · I've just learned |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 233 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I'm, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: clothing /ˈkloʊðɪŋ/, thick /θɪk/, bother /ˈbɑðɚ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, promotion /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/, associate /əˈsoʊʃi.ət/
- Long words — get the stress right: uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, feminism /ˈfɛmɪnɪz(ə)m/, universal /ˌjunəˈvɜɹs(ə)l/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like grief, friendship, sexy.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.