Shadowing Practice: Smettere di resistere al cambiamento. - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Do you ever happen to be able to get something to a relationship, to a job, to an abitur,
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even if you know that you were intimately aware of the time of letting it go?
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I have this paradox that I always fascinated.
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That is, as human beings, we are programmed to seek growth, to seek evolution, but at the same time we do everything to avoid change.
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It's a bit like if we live in two forces opposite.
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One that is pushing forward to new possibilities, to new horizons, and the other that is pulling back, that is bringing us together,
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that is letting us be attached to what is familiar, to what is known.
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And today I would like to talk about this,
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of resistance to change, of how we often end up in situations that we don't need more,
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and how we can't get into versions of ourselves that we have already already overcome, and how we can finally give us the permission to go on.
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Before starting, I have a little favor to ask you if you haven't yet done it, I'm asking you to subscribe to the platform from which I'm listening to and if you can leave a recension.
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Your support in this sense is really important for me and will help you to bring more content of quality.
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Thank you.
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The human brain is a machine that loves patterns, that loves habits, that loves predictability.
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It was actually designed to save energy and to follow the roads already already
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because this requires more resources than to trace new patterns every time.
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If we were learning every time how to wash our teeth would be a huge amount of energy.
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And this has had an enormous sense from the point of view evolutive, in an environment full of dangerous, to be able to get what was familiar,
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it was actually a strategy of survival.
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The problem is that this mechanism that we had to protect today can transform into an enormous prison,
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because we are not living in a world where the change is more than a mortal danger.
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In fact, today is just the opposite, that is, to resist the change can be the most dangerous choice.
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Think about how many companies have disappeared because they have not been able to adapt to change, they can't adapt to new technologies,
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new markets, new market needs.
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And think about how many people rest in relationships that make them infelicies only because they think they don't find any other,
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only because they fear of what they will find when they are out.
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And what is that there is exactly behind this resistance?
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Because even when we know that rationalize it is time to change, we have so much effort to do.
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There are There are different levels to explore.
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The first level is what I call the illusion of stability.
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That means we are getting to the family situations because they give a sense of control, even when this control is only apparent.
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For example, imagine being in a boat in the middle of a river in the river, you are getting to a river that spores from the river thinking that you are saving,
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you are keeping safe, but that river is to be able to spezz and you know, there is a river, a riva pensando che ti stia salvando ti stia tenendo al
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sicuro ma quel ramo sta per spezzarsi e tu non lo
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sai c'è se ti lascia trascinare dalla corrente un porto sicuro
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in cui potresti approdare però la paura ti fa stringere ancora
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di più a questo ramo instabile invece di lasciarti quindi andare
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lasciarti trasportare dalla corrente verso poi una soluzione che potrebbe essere
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migliore qui tante volte Sometimes we can't grab ourselves with force to solutions that are a bit precarious, so that we know to be sub-optimally, instead of influencing the unknown,
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so not knowing where we are going to carry out our current, embracing the possibility that yes, it could be a bad thing, but it could also be a better.
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The second level is that of identity.
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Cioè, every great change doesn't require only to change what we do, but also to change in a certain sense who we are.
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This is also in relation.
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Change partner means also change your identity.
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Maybe you are identified in the company, in the company, in the company.
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So change relationship means to actually, emotionally, to be able to see your identity.
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If you have always based on being a person that never has been, that is resilient, that doesn't have to be,
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how do you accept that in the labor of work, for example, is the moment of abandon a project that doesn't work?
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If, as I said, you are always defined through a relationship, who you are when that relationship ends?
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The third level, instead, is what they call it in psychology,
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which is called anticipatory, that even when you know that a change will bring benefits to long term, you still have to work in the luto for what you are leaving,
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And often, to avoid this suffering, this little suffering that after a little bit we will not get more,
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we will not forget to remain where we are now.
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I have an example.
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I have a few years ago, I found a professional situation that I didn't give more satisfaction, I didn't feel more happy.
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I knew that I was going to explore new strides, to change, to change context, but I continued to always keep this decision,
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I continued to say that I would probably have been better, that I probably wouldn't have found a job so,
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that it was maybe only a difficult phase, that it would be a bad thing, and the truth was that I was afraid, I was afraid of losing security,
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I was afraid of finding out that I could not be able to do anything, I was afraid of the void that
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And it was only when I recognized these fears,
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when I looked at it, that I could start working.
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And the most surprising thing was that the change that I so much had to have
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idealized as something
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that I was afraid of maybe extremely incertainly then it was revealed to be very much better than what I expected, than what I imagined.
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And this brings me to a fundamental reflection, that often it is not the change in itself to be pain,
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but often the thing that we are most do is this resistance to change.
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Like I said, to grab this rama that is to express yourself, to continue to string it with all this force, rather than to let it go and let it go and let it go.
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It's a bit like when you have a cerot to remove it.
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If you stag it just a little, a little bit, a little bit, you probably feel more pain for more time.
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If you do a strapping in a colt unico, So without resisting, but just going straight,
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there is a moment of suffering, but then it's done.
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And with the change it works in the same way.
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More resistance, more we prolong the attest and more we prolong the agony and the frustration.
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More we go into what we know in the deep deep, because we know that we know that's the moment, we know that's inevitable.
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So more we go into the stress, more we go into the frustration, more we go into the resentment.
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So how can we learn to learn to let it go?
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I suggest you explore with curiosity rather than with fear the emotions that are related to this perspective of change.
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That's why I think about this challenge.
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Why do I enter in a state of fear when I think about this change?
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Why do I approach it with curiosity?
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What is it that really scares me?
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Where does this fear come from?
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Is it based on a reality?
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su quindi delle cose che si sono realmente susseguite oppure basata su delle esperienze passate.
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È una paura che mi fa bene?
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È una paura che mi sta proteggendo da qualcosa?
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Oppure magari è una paura che mi limita?
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Poi impariamo a separare il dolore necessario da quello opzionale.
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Ogni cambiamento significativo porta con sé una certa dose di sofferenza, quindi l'incertezza per quello che verrà, la sofferenza per quello che abbiamo lasciato.
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Questo magari lo possiamo classificare come un dolore necessario però tutto
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quel dolore che ci aggiungiamo da soli con il rimpianto con
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i sensi di colpa con le recriminazioni tutto questo è un
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dolore opzionale che possiamo tranquillamente scegliere di lasciare da parte l'altra
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cosa su cui suggerisco di investire e provare a cambiare la
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narrazione cioè la storia che ci raccontiamo su noi stessi e
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sul cambiamento determinano in gran parte il modo in cui lo
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viviamo cioè se il cambiamento è una fine probabilmente lo vedo
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with much more desperation compared to this change is a new beginning.
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In that case I put in a space of hope, in a space of curiosity, in a space of openness.
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If this change is a failure, so if I change my life because I have fallen, we will feel confused.
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If this is an opportunity to learn, we enter into a growth mentality.
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Not to be able to deny reality or to think that everything is fine when it is not.
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It's rather to find a narrative that is honest and potent.
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There is a concept that I like very much called the window of tolerance.
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We have to find this area where we are stimulated to grow, but we don't feel so much so far from going in stress.
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We have to find this balance between the new context,
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which we stimulate, but that we don't have enough to feel in a state of disaprofaction.
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So when it comes to change we have to look at our tolerance
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and this could also mean to make small changes compared to a total revolution.
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So not to resist entirely to change but not to go from zero to 1000 to 1000 but to pass through 10.
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So this would mean to build a small security security before landing, before making a big leap.
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There is nothing wrong in building a small ponte before you cross completely the river.
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So you can build it, but you can't help it to really cross the river and not help you to pass the change.
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Cioè, se questo passaggio effettivamente ti aiuta poi a innescare un processo di cambiamento, bene.
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Se invece questo passaggio diventa solamente una scusa per posticiparlo, quindi diventa un'altra forma di procrastinazione, attenzione, questo non è l'obiettivo.
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E qui arriviamo ad un punto cruciale.
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Il cambiamento non è una cosa che avviene solamente una volta nella vita, no?
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Cioè non è un, ok, ho fatto questo, cambiamento raggiunto, fatto, spuntato, ora mi posso rilassare.
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The constant change is not the exception and it is for this
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that we have to learn to not oppose so much resistance.
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For this I think it is indispensable to learn to manage the change, to learn to flow with it instead of resisting.
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This is not an ability that we serve only once in life
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or only when we find in times of crisis or in times of transition.
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It is an ability that we serve in life of every day.
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It is about developing what is commonly defined as the growth mentality, so that we can, we can, we can, we can learn to learn,
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to evolve, to adapt, and that we are not defined once again, but that we are always in the end.
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And this is also a question of where we put focus.
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If we are constantly concentrated, as I said before, in the framing, in the narrative, on what we can lose or on what we can leave,
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the change will always be a painful process, something that we will be doing.
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In the contrary, if we move attention to all the opportunities that are opening in our lives, to everything that we are building, to what we are building,
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then it becomes a change.
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I know that it is not easy, it is not easy to say, but it is something that we should invest in time,
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su cui dovremmo investire delle risorse.
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La nostra mente è programmata per trattenere il familiare e per respingere l'ignoto, però possiamo allenarla ad andare oltre la paura,
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vedere le possibilità oltre la paura.
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Quindi voglio concludere con una domanda e una riflessione.
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La domanda è questa.
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Che cosa stai trattenendo nella tua vita che nel profondo sai che è arrivato il momento di lasciare andare?
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E la riflessione è quest'altra.
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Il cambiamento è già in corso.
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Che tu la voglia o no sta già succedendo.
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The universe, the life, the time are not always closed.
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So the right choice is not to change it or to change it, but to change it consciously, by guiding the process or by being taken away.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This video has 143 sentences and 2184 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:03. The speaker talks at a natural 167 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. Only 75% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is demanding.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| resist verb | /ɹɪˈzɪst/ | To attempt to counter the actions or effects of. |
| explore verb | /ɪkˈsploɹ/ | To examine or investigate something systematically. |
| adapt verb | /əˈdæpt/ | To make suitable; to make to correspond; to fit or suit. |
| curiosity noun | /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/ | Inquisitiveness; the tendency to ask and learn about things by asking questions, investigating, or exploring. |
| narrative noun | /ˈnæɹ.ə.tɪv/ | The systematic recitation of an event or series of events. |
| enormous adjective | /ɪˈnɔː.məs/ | Extremely large; greatly exceeding the common size, extent, etc. |
| tolerance noun | /ˈtɑ.lə.ɹəns/ | The ability or practice of tolerating; an acceptance of or patience with the beliefs, opinions or practices of others; a lack of bigotry. |
| frustration noun | /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/ | The feeling of annoyance at impossibility from resistance or inability to achieve something. |
| mentality noun | /mɛnˈtæləti/ | A mindset; a way of thinking; a set of beliefs. |
| vita noun | /ˈvitə/ | A hagiography; a biography of a saint. |
| confused adjective | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | unable to think clearly or understand |
| transition noun | /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/ | The process of change from one form, state, style or place to another. |
| evolution noun | /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/ | A manoeuvre of troops or ships. |
| string noun | /stɹɪŋ/ | A long, thin and flexible structure made from threads twisted together. |
| commonly adverb | /ˈkɑmənli/ | As a rule; frequently; usually. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| carry out verb | /ˈkæ.ɹi aʊt/ | To hold while moving it out. |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. | |
| pass through verb | To go through, to travel through, to transit or lie across a place or from one place to another. | |
| pull back verb | To retreat. | |
| take away verb | /ˌteɪk əˈweɪ/ | To remove something and put it in a different place. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | are programmed · be attached · was actually designed |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have already already overcome · has had · have disappeared |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 17 contractions and reduced forms, such as can't, don't, doesn't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/, exception /əkˈsɛpʃən/, relation /ɹɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/
- Long words — get the stress right: curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/, mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/, evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/, fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/, psychology /saɪˈkɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like resist, explore, adapt.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.