Shadowing Practice: the desire to be loved - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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I thought I had learned my lessons.
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I thought I would have known better by now.
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But when I got thrown into it again, I still fell hard.
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The part of me that I've been desperately running away from has finally made his way back.
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But this time, It's here to stay.
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When you were 11, what did you think you would be doing now?
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Okay you - - you
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I guess it's not uncommon for people to want to do things differently after losing someone.
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Some people start going to the gym or taking on new hobbies.
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Some decide to prioritize their friendships.
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while some put themselves on a self -discovery journey to find inner peace and independence.
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You can't deny that pain really is one of the best fuels for change.
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Thank you.
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Three years ago, confronted by the confusion of my identity, I made a promise that I would never find myself in a similar situation ever again.
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The pain of not knowing who I am was so great that I was hungry for change and growth.
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I consciously spent a lot of time introspecting, consumed only information I could learn from, and put myself through uncomfortable situations.
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I did everything just to shake off the old me and become someone better.
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It has been a truly confronting process and I thought...
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By this point, nothing would affect me in any way.
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you As cliche as it might sound,
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But life would keep putting you through the same test over and over again until you've truly learned your lessons.
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The winter here in England must have gotten to me.
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I started dating again after a long break.
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All the time I spend working on myself has given me so much confidence.
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I met someone, and it was all chilled and relaxed at the beginning, until I found myself slowly getting anxious,
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slowly losing control as I began to crave more and more from the other person.
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It was terrifying to watch my confidence crumbling before my eyes.
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Then without warning, everything fell apart.
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I was overwhelmed with self -doubt and frustration, and all of these made me feel very small.
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I was aware of it all.
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All those videos I watched and podcasts I've listened to have taught me that acknowledgement is the first step to change.
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So I thought if I was self -aware and honest enough about how I feel, I could get out of the rut faster.
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Everything that I was experiencing felt like a betrayal of the progress I've made over the years.
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I hate to see myself being out of control.
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drowning in negativity and self -pity, and feeling like I'm not enough.
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So I subconsciously rushed to be on the other side, just so that I could feel happy in myself again.
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Thank you.
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And that had only made things worse.
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the more I try to resist the pain, the more it persists.
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I couldn't understand why it cut me so deep until I began to uncover what was really hidden beneath the surface.
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Thank you.
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- Thank you.
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If there's anything I'm good at, it would be my ability to be extremely honest with myself.
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The reason why I was so upset was not really because of losing this person.
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but it was more of an attack on the persona I have built up over the years.
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The strength and confidence I worked so hard to cultivate, turned out to be far more delicate than I imagined. for so long.
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I had convinced myself that I had overcome my insecurities and fears, that I had become immune to rejection and disappointment.
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But in reality, I just buried those feelings beneath a thin layer of self -assurance.
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no matter how much I try to change or escape from it.
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At my core, I'm still a child who desires to be loved and validated.
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who is still healing from the wounds left by those who never intended to hurt me years and years ago.
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Thank you.
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All this time seeking approval and acceptance from others was my attempt to compensate for the lack in my younger self.
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but no amount of external validation could ever fill the void, unless I start to offer myself the unconditional love I crave.
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as I took time to reflect, I realized I don't love myself enough.
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I have been selectively loving only the parts of me that I'm proud of.
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The moments of confidence, the accomplishments, and the times when I met or exceeded my own expectations.
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but I secretly rescind or even feel ashamed of the part that I'm not.
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the part that struggles and falls short.
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the part that desires approvals and validation As much as I'm aware of her presence, I had never listened to or truly accepted her.
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being excessively self -critical in the name of perfectionism and self -improvement, invalidating my emotions and masking them with toxic positivity because I'm scared
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that if I give in to these negative feelings and show my insecurities to the world, I also be admitting that I'm weak and incompetent.
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Bye.
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- Okay.
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- If only I could give myself the same love and kindness and compassion I have for others.
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I probably wouldn't struggle as much.
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I used to think self -love was just about taking care of ourselves.
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or the ability to withstand loneliness and establish independence.
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But then I've slowly come to understand that self -love means so much more than warm baths, long walks, or solo dates.
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is not just the awareness but the full acceptance of our incompleteness and imperfectness.
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Thank you.
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just like love and joy and happiness.
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Sadness, frustration, fear, doubt and shame are all part of what it is to be a human being.
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And to truly love ourselves is to allow space for them without judgement or rushing to the emotional exit.
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to hold ourselves with immense warmth and acceptance, and to trust the ability to overcome obstacles and grow from our experiences even when it's not easy.
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Instead of feeling ashamed, I'm starting to make peace with my insecurities and embrace them with open arms.
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Yes, I want people to like me.
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But each day, I'm learning to let go of the need for external validation.
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shifting the focus back to myself, prioritizing my needs and setting boundaries.
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At times, I still fail or feel anxious and nervous, but that's okay.
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I don't have to keep a perfect record.
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As long as I keep showing up, that's all that matters.
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Bye.
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While self -love begins with our internal dialogue
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and recognizing our self -worth is nurtured and reinforced through our connections with those around us.
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As contradictory as it might sound, We don't learn to fully love ourselves in isolation.
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because we don't exist in isolation.
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After all, we are inherently social beings, wired for connection and belonging.
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Okay.
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True self -love isn't about self -reliance or self -sufficiency.
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It's about recognizing our interconnectedness with others and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in their presence.
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Knowing that we are not on this journey alone, we learn to extend the same compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for others to ourselves.
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And by showing up as our authentic selves with flaws and imperfections, we open up space for supportive and meaningful relationships that uplift and inspire us.
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Thank you.
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you Loving yourself is a process that requires patience and understanding.
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There are going to be days when you feel like you've made tremendous progress.
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and others when you find yourself slipping back into old patterns of self -doubt and criticism.
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But just like all the good things in life, growth takes time.
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There's no need to rush.
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You are already doing great as you are.
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And the world keeps spinning round.
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I'll be spinning you round.
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call.
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Not a smile, not a smile. while in Paris.
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Now...
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Why practice speaking with this video?
Engaging with the video titled "the desire to be loved" provides a rich context for practicing English speaking skills. The speaker shares a deeply personal journey of growth, confidence, and vulnerability, allowing learners to dive into the emotional aspects of language. This is essential because language is not just about words; it is also about expressing feelings and connecting with others. By using this video, English learners can employ the shadowing technique, which involves mimicking the speaker’s words and intonation to enhance fluency and pronunciation.
Practicing with such a relatable theme makes it easier to remember vocabulary and expressions, particularly when discussing emotions and personal experiences. Furthermore, by utilizing this video for IELTS speaking practice, learners can effectively prepare for questions surrounding personal experiences and emotions that often arise in the speaking section of the exam.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
The speaker employs various grammatical structures and expressions, which are valuable for learners. Here are a few key examples:
- Past participle structures: The speaker uses phrases like "I thought I had learned my lessons," showcasing perfect tenses that are important for conveying past experiences related to the present.
- Present continuous tense: Phrases like "I was aware of it all" illustrate the ongoing nature of realization and reflection, essential for expressing current feelings about past events.
- Conditional phrases: The expression "if I was self-aware and honest," provides insight into hypothetical scenarios, which is useful for discussing possibilities and consequences.
- Emotion-focused vocabulary: Words like "craving," "self-doubt," and "betrayal" are pivotal when articulating personal feelings, enhancing vocabulary that students can use in their own narratives.
By practicing these structures while shadowing the video, learners can effectively incorporate them into their own speaking repertoire.
Common Pronunciation Traps
When practicing with the video, learners may encounter certain pronunciation challenges. Here are some areas to focus on:
- Emphasis on emotional words: Words like "crave" and "betrayal" should be pronounced with emotional emphasis, which can alter their meaning depending on the intonation used.
- Contractions: Phrases such as "it's here to stay" and "I've been desperately running away" include contractions that may be pronounced quickly, making them tricky. Practicing them can enhance natural speech flow.
- Linking sounds: In phrases like "it was terrifying to watch," learners should pay attention to how words connect in spoken English, which can sometimes be lost when read separately.
Utilizing a shadowing app or simply revisiting the video can aid in mastering these pronunciation nuances, ensuring learners speak more confidently and fluently.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've been · has been · has given |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was overwhelmed · was really hidden · be loved |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.