Shadowing Practice: the desire to be loved - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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I thought I had learned my lessons.
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I thought I would have known better by now.
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But when I got thrown into it again, I still fell hard.
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The part of me that I've been desperately running away from has finally made his way back.
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But this time, It's here to stay.
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When you were 11, what did you think you would be doing now?
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Okay you - - you
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I guess it's not uncommon for people to want to do things differently after losing someone.
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Some people start going to the gym or taking on new hobbies.
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Some decide to prioritize their friendships.
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while some put themselves on a self -discovery journey to find inner peace and independence.
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You can't deny that pain really is one of the best fuels for change.
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Thank you.
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Three years ago, confronted by the confusion of my identity, I made a promise that I would never find myself in a similar situation ever again.
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The pain of not knowing who I am was so great that I was hungry for change and growth.
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I consciously spent a lot of time introspecting, consumed only information I could learn from, and put myself through uncomfortable situations.
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I did everything just to shake off the old me and become someone better.
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It has been a truly confronting process and I thought...
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By this point, nothing would affect me in any way.
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you As cliche as it might sound,
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But life would keep putting you through the same test over and over again until you've truly learned your lessons.
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The winter here in England must have gotten to me.
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I started dating again after a long break.
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All the time I spend working on myself has given me so much confidence.
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I met someone, and it was all chilled and relaxed at the beginning, until I found myself slowly getting anxious,
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slowly losing control as I began to crave more and more from the other person.
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It was terrifying to watch my confidence crumbling before my eyes.
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Then without warning, everything fell apart.
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I was overwhelmed with self -doubt and frustration, and all of these made me feel very small.
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I was aware of it all.
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All those videos I watched and podcasts I've listened to have taught me that acknowledgement is the first step to change.
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So I thought if I was self -aware and honest enough about how I feel, I could get out of the rut faster.
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Everything that I was experiencing felt like a betrayal of the progress I've made over the years.
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I hate to see myself being out of control.
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drowning in negativity and self -pity, and feeling like I'm not enough.
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So I subconsciously rushed to be on the other side, just so that I could feel happy in myself again.
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Thank you.
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And that had only made things worse.
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the more I try to resist the pain, the more it persists.
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I couldn't understand why it cut me so deep until I began to uncover what was really hidden beneath the surface.
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Thank you.
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- Thank you.
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If there's anything I'm good at, it would be my ability to be extremely honest with myself.
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The reason why I was so upset was not really because of losing this person.
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but it was more of an attack on the persona I have built up over the years.
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The strength and confidence I worked so hard to cultivate, turned out to be far more delicate than I imagined. for so long.
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I had convinced myself that I had overcome my insecurities and fears, that I had become immune to rejection and disappointment.
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But in reality, I just buried those feelings beneath a thin layer of self -assurance.
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no matter how much I try to change or escape from it.
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At my core, I'm still a child who desires to be loved and validated.
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who is still healing from the wounds left by those who never intended to hurt me years and years ago.
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Thank you.
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All this time seeking approval and acceptance from others was my attempt to compensate for the lack in my younger self.
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but no amount of external validation could ever fill the void, unless I start to offer myself the unconditional love I crave.
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as I took time to reflect, I realized I don't love myself enough.
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I have been selectively loving only the parts of me that I'm proud of.
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The moments of confidence, the accomplishments, and the times when I met or exceeded my own expectations.
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but I secretly rescind or even feel ashamed of the part that I'm not.
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the part that struggles and falls short.
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the part that desires approvals and validation As much as I'm aware of her presence, I had never listened to or truly accepted her.
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being excessively self -critical in the name of perfectionism and self -improvement, invalidating my emotions and masking them with toxic positivity because I'm scared
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that if I give in to these negative feelings and show my insecurities to the world, I also be admitting that I'm weak and incompetent.
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Bye.
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- Okay.
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- If only I could give myself the same love and kindness and compassion I have for others.
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I probably wouldn't struggle as much.
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I used to think self -love was just about taking care of ourselves.
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or the ability to withstand loneliness and establish independence.
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But then I've slowly come to understand that self -love means so much more than warm baths, long walks, or solo dates.
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is not just the awareness but the full acceptance of our incompleteness and imperfectness.
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Thank you.
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just like love and joy and happiness.
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Sadness, frustration, fear, doubt and shame are all part of what it is to be a human being.
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And to truly love ourselves is to allow space for them without judgement or rushing to the emotional exit.
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to hold ourselves with immense warmth and acceptance, and to trust the ability to overcome obstacles and grow from our experiences even when it's not easy.
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Instead of feeling ashamed, I'm starting to make peace with my insecurities and embrace them with open arms.
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Yes, I want people to like me.
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But each day, I'm learning to let go of the need for external validation.
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shifting the focus back to myself, prioritizing my needs and setting boundaries.
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At times, I still fail or feel anxious and nervous, but that's okay.
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I don't have to keep a perfect record.
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As long as I keep showing up, that's all that matters.
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Bye.
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While self -love begins with our internal dialogue
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and recognizing our self -worth is nurtured and reinforced through our connections with those around us.
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As contradictory as it might sound, We don't learn to fully love ourselves in isolation.
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because we don't exist in isolation.
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After all, we are inherently social beings, wired for connection and belonging.
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Okay.
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True self -love isn't about self -reliance or self -sufficiency.
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It's about recognizing our interconnectedness with others and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in their presence.
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Knowing that we are not on this journey alone, we learn to extend the same compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for others to ourselves.
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And by showing up as our authentic selves with flaws and imperfections, we open up space for supportive and meaningful relationships that uplift and inspire us.
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Thank you.
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you Loving yourself is a process that requires patience and understanding.
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There are going to be days when you feel like you've made tremendous progress.
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and others when you find yourself slipping back into old patterns of self -doubt and criticism.
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But just like all the good things in life, growth takes time.
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There's no need to rush.
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You are already doing great as you are.
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And the world keeps spinning round.
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I'll be spinning you round.
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call.
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Not a smile, not a smile. while in Paris.
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Now...
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “the desire to be loved” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 105 cümle ve 1316 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 9:04 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 145 kelimelik dengeli bir hızla konuşuyor; gölgeleme için rahat bir tempo. Kelimelerin yalnızca %80’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığı zorlayıcı.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| acceptance isim | /əkˈsɛp.təns/ | kabul |
| crave fiil | /kɹeɪv/ | can atmak, çok istemek |
| prioritize fiil | /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/ | önceliklendirmek |
| confront fiil | /kənˈfɹʌnt/ | yüzleşmek, göğüs germek |
| compassion isim | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | şefkat |
| frustration isim | /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/ | bıkkınlık |
| isolation isim | /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/ | izole etmek izole olmak |
| anxious sıfat | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | endişeli, kaygılı |
| cliché isim | /kliˈʃeɪ/ | klişe |
| imperfection isim | /ɪmpɚˈfɛkʃən/ | kusursuzluk, mükemmellik |
| invalidate fiil | /ɪnˈvæl.əˌdeɪt/ | geçersizleştirmek, hükümsüz kılmak |
| negativity isim | /ˌnɛɡ.əˈtɪ.vɪ.ti/ | olumsuzluk, negatiflik |
| rescind fiil | /ɹɪˈsɪnd/ | feshetmek, lağvetmek |
| sufficiency isim | yeterlilik, yeterlik | |
| terrify fiil | /ˈtɛɹɪfaɪ/ | dehşete düşürmek |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
| fall apart fiil | altüst olmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- I probably wouldn't struggle as much.
- I don't have to keep a perfect record.
- I'll be spinning you round.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've been · has been · has given |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | was overwhelmed · was really hidden · be loved |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı I'm, don't, I've gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 25 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: withstand /wɪðˈstænd/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, isolation /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/, ashamed /əˈʃeɪmd/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, isolation /ˌaɪsəˈleɪʃən/, acknowledgment /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ.mənt/, contradictory /ˌkɑntɹəˈdɪktəɹi/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/, withstand /wɪðˈstænd/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: crave /kɹeɪv/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, frustration /fɹʌsˈtɹeɪ.ʃən/, cliché /kliˈʃeɪ/, crumble /ˈkɹʌmbəl/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, invalidate /ɪnˈvæl.əˌdeɪt/, validate /ˈvæl.ɪ.deɪt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- Normal hızda cümle cümle tekrar edin; ritminiz konuşmacıyla aynı olana kadar her cümleyi yineleyin.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; acceptance, crave, prioritize gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.