Shadowing Practice: you are constantly changing and that's brilliant!! - Learn English Speaking with Video

Hello guys, welcome to my first podcast episode.

The setup is definitely not the best at the moment.

I'm back on my phone because I didn't know how to connect my microphone to my usual camera.

I also, this is my first time using this microphone, so I'm very worried it will like cut out or something.

I also have this lovely fire hazard next to me

because I thought that it would make it like a bit more intimate and a bit more scenic.

But I kind of feel like it just looks a bit weird and out of place.

Today we have something that I really wanted to speak about for quite a while.

And I actually used to speak a lot about on TikTok.

Then while I was like writing my plan for today, I went back to look at my TikTok to watch some of my old videos talking about this thing.

And then I realized I had deleted all of them

because I had ultimately decided that I felt like this was a bit too vulnerable to talk about.

However, I've clearly changed my mind because today I'm back to talk about it.

I want to talk about the idea that we are all constantly changing.

And what's a little bit difficult, I think, about talking about this subject is that it is very philosophical by nature,

which leads me to worry when I'm kind of explaining how I reached certain conclusions

because I'm sure I've made some sort of logical deductive reasoning mistake somewhere along the line.

So if you're watching this and you're like very very clever

and you catch some like huge mistake I've made with my reasoning do please let me know

because I would like to improve

but also try to interpret all of what I'm going to

say in a bit more of an artistic way maybe

because this is definitely not supposed to be like my ironclad philosophy about like metaphysics

and like actually the definition of the self.

This is more so a kind of attitude towards life

and towards my identity and how I interact with other people that I've found extremely beneficial.

So that's why I really want to share it.

Beyond just the idea of us being changed, me being changed, you being changed, there are a lot of kind of secondary thoughts that have spawned from that original thought.

So I want to talk about how I reach that original thought and other things that have come from that.

I have found this kind of very fluid way of viewing myself

and others to have really improved certain aspects of my anxiety, the way I can interact with other people and I also feel like the richness of life that I'm able to experience.

I feel like ultimately it's been a really really positive thing.

So yeah, I really want to share it and hopefully I won't delete it Like I deleted all my TikToks about it.

So yeah, enjoy.

I think growing up I had a very rigid view of who I thought I was Perhaps maybe not that rigid.

I don't know Maybe I'm being a bit unfair on myself, especially because I think it's very natural to as humans categorize things

and label things I think it's kind of like the easiest way to make sense of all the sensory data

and all this like information that we have to process some context

that might be necessary is

that i am not religious although i kind of was growing up i'd say i kind of just assumed

that i was religious because i had grown up in a religious setting

and i was also kind of like weirdly religious where my

mum was christian she was catholic well she is catholic

and my dad was buddhist and he also was a monk

which is really cool and i kind of like i feel like in the way

that sometimes you'll hear kids say instead of like oh i'm half english for example

and half japanese because one parent is english and one japanese

they'll say like I'm half Christian and I'm half Buddhist

because my mom is Christian my dad is Buddhist that's what I used to say

and I feel like that is a really good representation of my attitude towards religion growing up

and the way in which I was religious like it really wasn't something

that I'd ever really identified with that strongly

and I'd never really thought about too much until I started studying philosophy

and then I had to really kind of come head to head with a lot of these opinions I had

and a lot of these views I had

and a lot of these kind of like things I believed in

and I ultimately realized that I am not religious and also I don't believe in a soul or anything like that.

I am a materialist.

I don't believe that there is like a mind or a soul that's separate to the body and the brain.

I don't know how relevant that context will be

but for how I kind of reached the conclusion that like all I am is change and I'm not really definable, maybe it would be different if I had different views.

So like that's a little bit of a kind of precursor to then what led me to question all these things.

So at some point, because I didn't believe in a soul, but I was uncomfortable with the idea that like I wasn't something that was like fixed.

Like I don't know it's weird

because I feel like there is this kind of abstract idea of Alex

that I do feel like surely is a real thing well at least I did

but because I didn't feel like I could label it the soul

because I didn't believe in a soul I would kind of

label it as like essence almost I believe there was an essence of Alex

and then one day I was like

that is such a lazy way to view this

because I'm just using the word essence to be a placeholder for something

that I've not really investigated and I don't really understand

and I'm really really bored today

so let's have a think about what I mean by essence

so I tried really really hard to define myself

and I started off by trying to define myself through characteristics

and labels because i feel like that's the easiest way to do it

and i feel like that's probably the way

that i subconsciously do it the most especially with other people

you know like labeling someone as a very kind person labeling

someone as a very lazy person labeling someone as a this kind of person

or that kind of person and i must do

that somewhere deep down with myself

so then i tried okay for example i'm a really selfish person oh that's not really like a fixed thing

that doesn't really work first of all because a lot of characteristics are subjective.

I might think that certain thing I've done is really really selfish

and like awful and blah blah blah but someone else seeing

that same situation might not think that and also like in order for

that act to be selfish it needs to be selfish in the context of a situation

and if you take that act in a different situation it might not have been selfish

and it's just very like context dependent and also very subjective.

Secondly though and perhaps like more importantly for today it is also something that is fleeting.

I don't have to be selfish just because I've been selfish momentarily.

Even if I've been selfish all of my life, I could just stop being selfish one day.

And I realized that I had this very big problem with defining myself, like myself as almost this idea that I believe to like exist for eternity.

There was such an issue with labeling it through characteristics because I have the potential to be anything.

I have the potential to be absolutely anything.

I could be selfish all of my life, even if I don't choose to magically from like my own brilliant will choose to become a brilliant person and be really, really selfless if you believe

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that to be a good thing I could just have like a crazy accident get hit in the head

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and have like a massive personality change I am not bound to any of these characteristics

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that people think I have for life and

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so I was like damn okay clearly characteristics doesn't work I kind of like

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that idea of me having the potential to be anything

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but I took a bit further

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which like I don't think you have to take this far

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and also here's where I assume I probably might do like my philosophy

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and my like logic

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and my like reasoning is a little bit like messy here it's a bit lazy here

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so definitely like take this more in as an art rather

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than an actual like premise one premise three premise three premise

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four i think i started to feel also uncomfortable with the idea of potential

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because i feel like me saying okay right now i'm super super selfish

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but i could be selfless okay

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but i could also be selfish for the rest of my

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life like I feel like this idea of I could potentially be anything it's kind of bullshit

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because yeah you could potentially be anything

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but you also might potentially never change you also might potentially

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be nothing I feel like it's kind of lazy to view myself as the potential to be anything

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because that doesn't really mean anything

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and I feel like it was a bit lazy to assume my identity

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and link my identity to the idea of being anything if

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that makes sense I feel like I've explained that really poorly but from

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that I kind of was like okay I don't really feel comfortable with the idea of potentially being anything

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so all that I really am is all I am in actuality

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and because I can always change all I am in actuality is all I am right now in this moment

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and right now in this moment

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if I take a breath I'm not really anything I'm not really anything even

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if I'm doing things it's all so fleeting the moment's constantly escaping me

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so I don't know this is where I think it's a bit lazy

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and I've definitely made some sort mistake

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but I for some reason felt really really comforted by the idea

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that I'm not really anything I'm just this constantly changing thing

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that is just constantly trying to grasp onto the moment

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and losing it I'm here and then one day I'll be dead

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and I'm not going to be here and I feel like for some people

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that might sound a bit morbid and a bit existential

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but for me that gives me

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so much comfort I think perhaps an easier way to understand it especially from saying like oh

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if like the philosophy is really shit please like you know give me the benefit of the doubt

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and understand it artistically so rather than explaining it to you guys in

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that kind of like logical step by step which was very illogical, I just kind of try to use the metaphor of like water.

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Like all I am is fluid and everyone around me is fluid.

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And now I want to get into why I think

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that has made such a big change in my life in the way

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that I interact with people and interact with myself and understand like my place in the world.

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So a big thing that changed was how I think I'm able to interact with other people and love other people.

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Where I'm sure that I must have been subconsciously labeling myself as a certain person, I also must have been doing it with other people.

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And I think I was.

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But I think one limitation of labelling people as certain kinds of people is

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that you start to expect certain behaviour for people.

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And an issue with that, and again this might not even be an issue, but this is just something that I've found personally for me, is that if for example person A I assumed to be a certain kind of person,

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and they were to do a certain action, I would think, oh well obviously they've done this action because they're this kind of person.

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Before I've even had a chance to process what they've really done

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or the things they've said or the way that they've come across to me, I've already smushed it together so

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that it fits perfectly into my idea of this person

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that I've already come up with And

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so I'm not really processing their behavior for what it is Even though

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and this is like okay

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So I kind of almost hate talking about this kind of stuff

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because I feel like you can always take it too far

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And you can always be really annoying when you're like thinking about philosophy

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and this kind of stuff

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But like I've never actually met anyone this is like a

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tangent now I was thinking about this I've never met anyone

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And I feel this a lot when I'm online and

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when I hear people talk about the way that they feel about me

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and stuff because I'm like oh I'm obviously really flattered

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and I recognize that it must be like something to do with me

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because I'm the one that is making these videos

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and choosing what to talk about and choosing how to edit them la la la

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but the way that you guys are taking me in is very limited compared to

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if you were to sit in my room with me

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and talk to me and like you know see me in 3d

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and see me without all of the like where I skip all of my like long breaths

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and stuff but even the people who are speaking to me in my room even my partner

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and my best friend who are two people

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that I've been insanely insanely vulnerable with they too have not actually met me

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because they are still getting a very very limited version of

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Alex they still are also processing it's their interpretation of Alex

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I don't know my best friend truly I just know my interpretation of her

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and it's probably hopefully a somewhat accurate interpretation of her I'd like to hope

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but I don't know again like I don't know

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if there even is a her like who the fuck is she who is she I can't label her as anything

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anyways and then it just goes in circles la la la back to my original point now I think that

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when I would label people as certain kinds of people I

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would really I don't know I was always just kind of like affirming my own belief I had about

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that person already and I feel like that makes life really really boring

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so when I practice and it's obviously hard because I think

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so much of this is subconscious

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and also like we need to do this in order to label people

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and categorize people and also just like make sense of the things

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that we are seeing but

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when I made a very conscious effort to try to not jump to like ah you did this

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because you are blah blah and I think of you as blah blah

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and when I tried to just like observe people

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and allow them to do something and to not label it

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and not jump on it and be like oh it's

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because of this reason

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but just to like accept the action for what it was

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i really i don't know i really did feel like it's changed the way

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that i see people and i view people and the way in

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which i'm able to interact with people first of all i think

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that i am able to be kinder to people

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because i am able to for example trust if someone is changing

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which obviously a lot of the time people will say they change

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but then they don't actually change

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and it's probably good to have like a little bit of apprehension

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if someone's really really hurt you and they're saying that they're changed

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and they've like not really changed

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but on the other side i think often people will explain to me why they've done something

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or they will say that they really want to change

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or they will say that they have changed but

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if I have a really really fixed idea of what they are

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and how they've

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and why they've done certain things I will very easily interpret all of their future behavior through this idea

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that I already have of them and then I won't believe they've actually changed even

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if they have

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so I feel like this allows me to be a lot more open-minded also I feel like people are

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so much more complex than I allow them to be

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because again my brain cannot comprehend all of the complexities of all the people

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but I feel like in being very lazy with how quickly

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I label people I do miss out on a lot of complexity

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that I actually can process

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and I feel like by not really having ideas of who someone is it's nice

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because rather than having to come up with a logical reason as to why someone's acting different one day

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and having to kind of come up with this story

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and having to explain why someone's gone from point a to

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point b I can just allow someone to suddenly be point b and I'm not gonna ask any questions

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and I feel like that makes life a lot funner

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and a lot more exciting and also my relationships a lot richer

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because people can be so so many things and people can surprise me

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and people can change

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and I don't have to really like I don't know I don't have to look into it too much

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and I don't have to come up with a reason why they've changed I don't know why they've changed

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but it's really really cool to see people have

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so many faces another thing

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and this is kind of linking more now to the personal

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experience I feel like not expecting myself to be anything continuous

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and also not having these labels for myself has really helped with my anxiety.

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I kind of feel like before I had to explain myself to myself whereas now

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that I understand that like I'm not really anything fixed

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and I do

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if you know I look back to my behavior in the past I do definitely see patterns

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and I see kind of groups of characteristics that seem to kind of pop up time and time again.

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But I don't feel like I have to keep telling myself that story almost.

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I don't know, I feel like having to keep kind of recalling why I'm a certain kind of person.

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It does take a bit of mental energy and in order to kind of build this picture of who I am, I have to keep thinking back the things that I've already passed and gone.

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So it's really really nice to kind of just allow myself to be in the present

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and to not ask myself too many questions and kind of leave myself alone a bit.

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And I think that's been really really nice.

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This is also very random

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but like literally a few days ago I made a bit of a breakthrough as to why I get anxious

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and I really want to talk about

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that also like growing up I had really really bad anxiety

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but I don't have anxiety as like an anxiety disorder anymore

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so do keep

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that in mind nowadays all I get is I just get

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almost like flare-ups where I don't know suddenly something will kind of set me off

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and I'll be really really anxious like I used to be growing up

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but only for a short period of time

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and then it'll kind of resolve itself but recently I was very very anxious

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and I was really trying to get to the bottom of like why am I

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so anxious why am I so freaking out and then I realized

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that I had always thought that my anxiety was to do with control

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and that I wanted to be in control of situations

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and I wanted to have control

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and you know did this person say this about me

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and I had to like be in control of like my image

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and how people saw me and also if everyone liked me

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and why don't you like me and are you sure I didn't upset you

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and all of this stuff was ultimately linked with control however

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I've realized I think it's a bit more meta than

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that rather than just being in control I think my anxiety

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is to do with entitlement to control recently I was meeting an online friend I guess

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and I was really nervous oh my goodness I nearly vomited beforehand

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because I was so stressed and I was like writing in my journal

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because I really couldn't make sense of my thoughts

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so I had to kind of like see my thoughts linearly

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in order to make sense of them I was writing

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and at first I was saying I think that I'm anxious

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and I thought I'd cracked it at this point I was like I think I'm anxious

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because I don't want to disappoint her

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because she must have in order to have asked to meet

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me she must have some sort of idea of what I must be like

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and imagine I don't live up to that that's a bit embarrassing

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and it would be a bit of a waste of time for her

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and I'm sorry for her if she's come all the way to meet me, or she's not come all the way to meet me, she came for other reasons, but if like she's kind of taken time out of her day to meet me

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and I'm a disappointment and I don't really want to do that and also I'm a bit embarrassed.

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But then the kind of like I'm a bit embarrassed about

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that thing stood out to me and I tried to investigate it further

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and I realised ultimately what I was anxious about was

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that I didn't think that I could be the kind of person to cause her disappointment

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because realistically everyone's going to meet people they don't like, everyone's going to meet people who they may be excited to me

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and then end up not really like being that fun or not really being what they thought they'd be

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and you know just not really having a good time.

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I've met lots of people

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that like unfortunately are just not really my cup of tea

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through no fault of their own they're just not really my kind of person

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and this person of course is going to meet those kinds of people but I felt like that can't be me.

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I felt an almost like entitlement to not being

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that kind of person

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so then I was like look Alex why are you more

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entitled to not being a disappointment than other people in this person's life.

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I'm no better than anyone else.

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I'm no different to anyone else.

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And for some reason that really, really helped because I was like, wait, if someone has to be a disappointment to this person because someone's going to be, why not me?

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And for some reason that really, really fixed it.

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So yeah, I do think that my anxiety was probably more so like an entitlement to control rather than control.

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But anyways, that's like totally off topic now.

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I just feel like in general, I don't know, this like view of myself as a very, very fixed thing is just very stressful because there's a lot to live up to as well.

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Okay, actually kind of linking to what I just said, perhaps that wasn't a completely useless tangent.

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I feel like that is my personal anxiety hack and

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that is the thing

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that has made my life a lot easier is this idea of myself as this thing that isn't particularly special, this thing that isn't particularly worthy of anything and not

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because I'm not worthy and not in a like depressive way

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but because why would I be anything different to anything else that's alive

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and I feel like perhaps labeling things just kind of like

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makes me very focused on myself as something that's like grand

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and big even when it used to be very negative things

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because I used to have an issue where I truly believed growing up that I was the most evil person alive.

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I, and I did do bad things, like I do remember why I like logically reached that conclusion, but the ridiculous thing is that I also was like,

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I guess quite a forgiving person growing up in the sense that if other people told me bad stuff they did, bad, obviously that's also subjective, but bad things they did, I'd be like, yeah that's okay,

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like I, you know, that's okay, like as long as you try to change, la la la la.

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I don't know why I didn't extend that same grace for myself, and also why I thought I was like the number one most evil person on earth.

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This is a bit deep but I remember my therapist

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when I was growing up at the end of each session would say like you are a good person

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and I would scoff.

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It would make me so uncomfortable that I would laugh in her face

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because I genuinely was convinced she was lying or I was convinced that she was an idiot.

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Sometimes I would think like why would you say that?

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Like why would you like lie straight out of your mouth and say I'm a good person when you know I'm not?

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And sometimes I'd be like fuck I need to get a new therapist.

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Like she clearly doesn't know what's up if she thinks I'm a good person.

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And obviously looking back that's a bit ridiculous

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that I had such a dramatic view of myself

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but I think even though that obviously is a negative thing

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and you'd kind of assume like oh if I thought

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that I'd probably like be quite a humble person

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because you know I think of myself as so lowly

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but I don't think I was humble at all

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because I thought of myself as the worst person on earth

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I did kind of think of myself as this like grand thing in a way

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and I really feel like the true way to be humble

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is just to not really think of yourself as like anything

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and again not in a sad way

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and just they're like I don't know I feel so much more focused on my environment and the people around me

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and I feel so much more zen and I feel

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so much more tied to the present as well because

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when someone does something outlandish I'm not here thinking like oh

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but you used to be this kind of person

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and oh my god like my whole worldview is like falling apart

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and crumbling it's just like oh my god you kind of did something outlandish I didn't really like that

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or like oh wow you did something outlandish that's hilarious yeah

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I feel like I'm less focused on all these stupid semantics

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like I don't know I think words as great as they are and as important it is to communicate

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um with each other and obviously like words are really really great

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because you know I'm here talking to you guys right now

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and I'm able to tell my partner that I love them

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so so much and I'm able to talk to my best friend about something that's been on my mind.

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It's also kind of like I feel like it takes

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so much processing power sometimes to register things through language that it's really nice to practice.

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This is again very off topic.

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I actually really shouldn't make a podcast to be honest

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because I've also like had barely any coffee today

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so the ADHD is like I'm like the thoughts are kind of coming at me

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and they're not really linked so I'm very very sorry

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but I feel like language in a way can be very limiting

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because it takes so much processing power to have to use language

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And also it almost like adds another layer to reality Sometimes a little trick I like to do

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if i'm really struggling to meditate or i'm struggling to be present

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and i'm just like really in my mind Is I try to take away the authority of language?

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I'm just like, okay, like I can't process anything through language now language doesn't exist

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and then I feel so aware of my environment

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and my surroundings in a very different way but in a way

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that feels very like so

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so raw like I feel like I'm just taking in all the raw sensory data

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and right now I'm looking at this candle and I'm not thinking candle

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and I'm not thinking anything I mean I am

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because I'm saying this but if I try to do

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that there is just something that exists there

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and I'm aware of it without having to label that awareness

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and I feel like that's really great as well

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and I feel like

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that does link also to the kind of like why am

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I labeling myself why am I labeling myself I can just experience myself

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and I just am and I exist and that's brilliant

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and I'm also gonna die soon I don't waste

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so much time trying to figure myself out I don't think I ever will

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because I'm always changing so the moment I come up with one definition

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that definition can very well just go away

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but also I just don't waste that time trying to crack the code

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because I don't need to I can just be inside myself

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I don't need to know myself I don't like this idea

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of having to kind of figure myself out as like I don't know almost like a literary figure

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that I'm like constantly analyzing and I'm reading reddit reviews about

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and I'm reading like you know what do other people think about this character

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that like what do we think about the symbolism of this

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character I'm not a character I'm an animal you know

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and I kind of feel like I don't know it's just

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so nice to let myself be

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and to be inside this body as I know it's a bit weird like talking about this

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while like looking at myself but

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if I don't look at myself to be inside this body

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and exist and just be aware of everything around me

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and be in relationships with people

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and I mean non-romantically as well I mean like general relationships

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with people even fleeting moments of like I don't know talking to a stranger

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or looking at a stranger just being aware of them

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and then looking away at the next thing

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and then looking away at the next thing

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and not having to make sense and make a story

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and make a chronological linear like tale about all of the things

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that have happened i just want to be here man you know i'm gonna fucking die

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and that freaks me out so much i get so existential

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and i really feel like the hack to end existentialism is

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to just be here oh my gosh i've really not followed my like i've not got a script

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but i've written out a bunch of ideas i had i

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do want to finish with like a last kind of

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which is that often I talk about in my personal life as well about how I have these views

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and also I'm a determinist which is kind of controversial

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so I'm not gonna go into that that much something

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that I'm kind of left with is like well what inspires

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me to be a better person why should I be good

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if the word good doesn't even mean anything and also I'm constantly changing

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and I can't even label myself as good

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and also I don't have free will

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and also I don't have a soul why would I be good

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but I do have reasons why and rather than trying to explain them

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because I'm clearly not very good at that

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because I don't know anyone will even watch this I want to call on two books

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that I've read that I feel like really beautifully explain why

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so the first one I'm going to do a horrible job

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because I don't have the book anymore I gave it to someone I didn't finish the book

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and I also barely remember the quote

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so I'm just gonna try explain what the author was getting at and

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that was drive your plow over the bones of the dead

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by Olga Tokarczuk there's this moment where the main character is saying

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that everything we do in this life matters but not

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because there's some God that's judging us and not

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because anyone's watching to make sure that we're being good

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and no one's gonna punish us afterwards but

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because through our actions we are building the life

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that then we need to live in we need to experience this life

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that we are building so why not build it to be really really nice

446

and wonderful and i think when i first read

447

that i was like fuck yes and then similarly i have got the dhammapada

448

which i'm currently reading

449

but i'm like really really near the start it's a really

450

really beautiful cover literally the first part of it explains like exactly this

451

so number one contrary ways what we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday

452

and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.

453

Our life is the creation of our mind.

454

If a man speaks or acts of an impure mind, suffering follows him as the wheel of the cart follows the beast that draws the cart.

455

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.

456

Our life is the creation of our mind.

457

If a man speaks or acts with a pure mind, joy follows him as his own shadow.

458

And yeah, that basically sums it up.

459

I thank you the Dhammapada for perfectly saying what I mean.

460

I still want to be kind and I still want to be good

461

and I still want to love people and I still want to have boundaries

462

and all of these things because at the end of the day I'm the one

463

that has to experience this I'm the one

464

that has to be inside this mind and I have been inside this mind

465

when I used to be very very jealous and bitter and nasty

466

and I used to be a really really spiteful person I

467

used to be a really anxious person I used to be a very angry person

468

and I could be I don't believe

469

that there's a god afterwards who's going to judge me for

470

that I just think I'm going to die I just think I'm going to die

471

and nothing's going to happen but I have to be inside this body

472

while I'm feeling horrible and I feel angry

473

and I feel bitter all the time and it's just not fun it's just

474

so not fun it's not enjoyable at all

475

and since I've kind of tried to be better

476

and I feel like also I've like chilled out a lot

477

and that has helped me to like give me the room to be better

478

because I also think before I was in a lot of pain

479

and I was suffering a lot

480

and it was actually very very hard for me to imagine a life where I wasn't

481

so angry and I wasn't so upset

482

and I wasn't so spiteful but now that I'm able to life is

483

so fucking blessed life is so fucking blessed why would I not want to try

484

and be a better person because

485

if I'm a horrible person I have to live inside this body

486

and obviously that's a very selfish way like beyond

487

that also like I am an emotional creature and I love people

488

so I'm sure like I'm also partly driven by the fact

489

that I just really love people and it does really really upset me

490

when I see people suffer so why would I kind of want to add to

491

that suffering but just because sometimes I hear people say like oh well

492

if you don't believe in free will and

493

if you like don't believe in like a soul

494

and you don't believe in good and bad

495

and you don't believe in god then why would you want

496

to be good I still think there's plenty of reasons to want to be good um but yeah anyways this is

497

this has been such a horrible first podcast.

498

I'm really sorry.

499

I think I chose a really shit topic, to be honest, because as much as I really wanted to talk about this, I feel like I have spoken about this too much a few years ago when I first kind of like was like, wow, I cracked this case.

500

But it was actually kind of all like fake deep.

501

And I feel like a lot of people feel this way.

502

And just like, I don't know, don't make such a big fuss about it as I do.

503

But I feel like because I spoke about it so much, I kind of like spoke myself in circles.

504

And then afterwards, I didn't think about it for like quite a while now.

505

I think when I made those TikToks about it, it was when I first made a TikTok.

506

And that was like a year ago

507

and then I haven't really thought about it since

508

so I feel like this was really all over the place

509

but I don't know hopefully this was somewhat enjoyable for you

510

guys hopefully also I made sense please let me know

511

if there's anything you'd want me to talk about

512

and please let me know your thoughts on this um

513

because I do think it's like maybe a bit of a controversial topic

514

and I definitely have some views I'm sure people don't agree with

515

so let me know what you think and let me know what drives you

516

and let me know how you view yourself and how you view relationships

517

although that probably I assume you'll be replying in the form of YouTube comment

518

and I don't know if there'll be room for all of

519

that because I assume that might be quite a lot to type

520

but if you can be bothered to type please do

521

because I do actually read all the comments

522

and I really really love reading them

523

and especially sometimes you guys have like some really insightful crazy interesting views

524

so please do let me know thank you so much for watching

525

and I'll see you guys later please like and subscribe

526

and comment and yeah I'll see you guys next week bye bye

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “you are constantly changing and that's brilliant!!”. This video has 526 sentences and 6712 words to shadow. The speech runs for 25:11. 83% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
selfish adjective	/ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/	Holding one's own self-interest as the standard for decision making.
anxious adjective	/ˈæŋkʃəs/	Nervous and worried.
characteristic noun	/ˌkæɹ(ə)ktəˈɹɪstɪk/	A distinguishing feature of a person or thing, a part of mental or physical behavior.
interact verb	/ɪn.təˈɹækt/	To engage in communication and other shared activities (with someone).
premise noun	/ˈpɹɛm.ɪs/	A proposition antecedently supposed or proved; something previously stated or assumed as the basis of further argument; a condition; a supposition.
disappointment noun	/ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/	The feeling or state of being disappointed: a feeling of sadness or frustration when something is not as good as one hoped or expected, or when something bad…
essence noun	/ˈɛsəns/	The inherent nature of a thing or idea.
outlandish adjective	/ˌaʊtˈlændɪʃ/	Appearing to be foreign; strange, unfamiliar.
entitlement noun	/ənˈtaɪtəlmənt/	The right to have something.
subjective adjective	/səbˈd͡ʒɛktɪv/	Formed, as in opinions, based upon a person's feelings or intuition, rather than upon observation or purely logical reasoning; coming more from within the…
anyways adverb	/ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/	Anyway, anyhow, in any case.
humble adjective	/ˈhʌmbəl/	Not pretentious or magnificent; unpretending; unassuming.
logical adjective	/ˈlɑd͡ʒɪkəl/	In agreement with the principles of logic.
podcast noun	/ˈpɑdˌkæst/	A program, especially an audio program, produced on a regular basis, delivered over the Internet in a compressed digital format and designed for playback on…
uncomfortable adjective	/ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/	Not comfortable; causing discomfort.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
grow up verb	To mature and become an adult.
come up with verb	To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it.
come across verb	To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition.
cut out verb	To refrain from (doing something, using something etc.), to stop or cease (doing something).
end up verb	To bring to a conclusion.
fall apart verb	To disintegrate, to break into pieces.
go away verb	To depart or leave a place.
go back to verb	To stem from; to originate in.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

I'm no better than anyone else.
I'm no different to anyone else.
Sometimes I would think like why would you say that?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
“Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true	used to speak · used to say · used to be
Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result	if you don't believe in free will and · if there's anything you'd want
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've made · I've found · have spawned
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	step which was · people who are · friend who are

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 258 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, outlandish /ˌaʊtˈlændɪʃ/, existential /ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/, apprehension /æp.ɹiˈhɛn.ʃən/
Long words — get the stress right: characteristic /ˌkæɹ(ə)ktəˈɹɪstɪk/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, entitlement /ənˈtaɪtəlmənt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, actuality /ˌækt͡ʃuˈælɪti/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like selfish, anxious, characteristic.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: you are constantly changing and that's brilliant!! - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?