Shadowing Practice: Ted Series Funniest Moments | Ted (2024) | Big Screen Laughs - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.

230 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

But listen, you gotta kick me out of school.

Ted, I already told you.

I have weed.

What?

I am in possession of marijuana here on school premises.

May I see it?

Well, I...

I lost it.

You lost it.

Yeah, but he had weed, alright?

I'm a witness.

I would need to see the marijuana for there to be consequences.

Look, we are telling you the truth.

Yeah, I'm a bad seed.

See, look.

I love you.

Drugs.

I love drugs.

Should we say grace?

Oh, yeah, good idea.

Hello, God.

It's me, Ted, one of your weirder creations.

Sorry about what I said today.

Not that your deacons aren't attractive, but I'm saving my mouth for marriage.

Let us not be so high that we have to call an ambulance.

Amen.

Okay.

Let there be lights.

Excuse me.

Hi.

Uh, hi.

I'm, uh...

John Bennett.

Hi there.

Ooh.

You just, uh, wash your hands?

Uh, yeah, I just, when I, you know, a while ago, not now.

I had diarrhea.

Hi, I'm Ted.

I'm Sheila.

Oh, let's not ruin things.

Hey, listen, we couldn't help but notice you were, uh, smoking a little pot.

Yeah, mid-times, you know.

What, are you gonna narc on me?

Oh, we're not judging.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Teddy and I often partake of...

El Bowl.

And the pot inside it.

Da.

Cha-cha-cha.

You know what the problem is?

Education.

There is a complete lack of education in this family.

That's not true.

I go to school.

I'm taking a pottery class.

What about Ted?

Hmm?

He's never had a day of education in his life, and it shows, using words like Polack.

Oh, it was Polack.

The teacher says my ashtray shows promise.

You should be going to school every day with John.

You'd learn something, and maybe you wouldn't make all these ignorant comments.

Uh-huh, yeah, no thanks.

Why not? Because.

TV.

You guys need marriage counseling.

Oh, that.

What's the matter?

You scared of therapy, too?

Oh, it's .

I'm not gonna pay some shrink 80 bucks to sit there

and show me ink blots that all look like priests with their dicks out.

Well, I...

I think that's already progress.

Huh?

Look, I have a proposal.

I've saved up a little money working extra shifts at the coffee shop.

As my Christmas gift to you and Susan this year, I will pay for one marriage counseling session.

All you gotta do is show up.

Oh, maybe, can we?

Jesus, Susan.

What would we even talk about?

Well, we could talk about how much we love each other.

Okay, you know what?

Fine.

We'll go.

Just to show you that you're full of s*, and Susan and I have a great marriage.

In fact, you know what?

Let's go.

Right now.

It's not open at 9 p.m.

Oh, and the bull s* begins!

Now, let's start with the basics.

Would you classify your marriage as sexually satisfying?

What?

How often would you say you have intercourse?

That's none of your goddamn business.

100

Look, why don't we just stick to...

101

Every six months.

102

Every six months.

103

And what about anal?

104

Jesus Christ!

105

We do like the room to be clean, yeah.

106

She said, yes?

107

Hilarious.

108

Okay, now I want you to turn to each other and say the meanest thing you can think of.

109

How is everything?

110

Oh, it's just wonderful.

111

Not good, Kevo.

112

The word apple ain't in here anywhere.

113

They allow diagonal, sir.

114

Well, they should put that in the goddamn directions.

115

I'll tell the chef.

116

Yeah.

117

Maddy, you have to try this crab.

118

No, I'm fine.

119

Oh, just one bite.

120

It's so delicious.

121

I'm fine.

122

I got my own food.

123

Just a baby bite.

124

I don't want any.

125

Just try it.

126

Just one bite.

127

Jesus Christ, Susan, why is it always so important that I have some of what you ordered?

128

I want you to have some of this because I think you'll like it.

129

Well, if I wanted the goddamn crab, I would've ordered the goddamn crab.

130

But in the car on the way home, I can say, wasn't it good?

131

For f*s sake, all right.

132

You know?

133

All right.

134

Oh, God damn it.

135

Okay, this is perfect.

136

Mom and Dad are gonna be out of the house and Blair's got school.

137

There will never be a better time. For what?

138

To rent a real porno.

139

Well, how are we supposed to do it?

140

That butt nut in the store says we gotta be 18.

141

There's a different guy that comes in at 6 for the night shift.

142

All right, we get fake IDs, we go in after 6, we can rent that porno.

143

I don't know, Johnny, it's a risk.

144

I mean, if we get caught...

145

Teddy, watching other people have sex on a TV screen, that's just about the coolest thing a person can do.

146

It's worth the risk.

147

By this time tomorrow, that dream could be ours.

148

All right.

149

Let's get some sleep.

150

We jerk at first light.

151

Okay, now, as far as anyone knows, we're two ad executives on a business trip from Hartford looking for some local talent.

152

Right.

153

Hey, uh, keep these milkshakes coming, huh?

154

Sure thing.

155

You know, um, we're celebrating.

156

Just landed a big account.

157

Bounty.

158

It's a very famous paper towel.

159

Yep, I use them every day.

160

Oh, terrific.

161

Well, you know, originally the slogan was supposed to be the quicker picker-upper, but we added the word thicker, quicker picker-upper.

162

Bought a summer house with that one adjective.

163

We can't read this whole thing.

164

Well, if we're gonna figure out if I'm actually Jesus, we at least gotta skim it.

165

I have never seen pages so thin.

166

I know.

167

It's like Kleenex with boring stories on it.

168

You know, I was thinking, how do we know that Dennis isn't Jesus?

169

Johnny, Jesus walked on water, all right?

170

Walked.

171

That means he had feet, not wheels.

172

Yeah, that makes sense.

173

Oh, wait, hang on.

174

Stop right there.

175

Look, look, look.

176

Matthew 21, 31.

177

Truly I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of heaven before you.

178

Look at that.

179

Jesus hangs out with hookers.

180

Yeah, and he says there's hookers in heaven, too.

181

He sounds a lot like you.

182

Oh, yeah, heaven is probably mostly hookers.

183

Wait, so you're paying for sex in heaven?

184

You're not paying them for sex.

185

You're paying them to fly away.

186

Oh.

187

Let's see.

188

And behold, I come quickly, and my reward is with me to give ev...

189

What was that first part?

190

Uh, behold, I come quickly.

191

Jesus said that?

192

Yeah.

193

Yeah, that's not the kind of thing I'd start with, behold.

194

What else?

195

Look, look, look, right there, right there.

196

John the Apostle.

197

Jesus had an apostle named John.

198

Holy shit.

199

Those were like his buddies, right?

200

Yeah, yeah, there was Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Johnny, Blitzen, and Larry, Daryl, and Daryl.

201

There's no doubt anymore.

202

I'm the Lord Jesus Christ.

203

Holy shit.

204

Does this mean you have, like, powers and stuff?

205

Yeah, but I probably gotta learn how to use them.

206

Flip it as spells.

207

Okay, spells.

208

Spells, spells, spells.

209

I wonder what my alignment is.

210

Chaotic good.

211

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

212

Good, but, like, you know, I might fuck around a little bit.

213

Yeah.

214

Shit, we supposed to have dice?

215

Let the festivities begin.

216

How many we got?

217

Well, let's see.

218

We got 20 cartons, 12 eggs in each.

219

That's gotta be, like, 20 dozen eggs, right?

220

Fantastic.

221

Do you think we're getting too old for this?

222

Oh, come on, Johnny.

223

We're doing a public service here.

224

If a kid leaves the house in a less-than-stellar Halloween costume, he's got to get the bad news before he makes a fool of himself all over town.

225

We're Samaritans.

226

You remember last year?

227

Oh, check it out.

228

There's one.

229

Hey, nice costume!

230

Thank you.

Download App

Everything you need to speak fluently

AI PronunciationScore every sentence

IPA PracticeMaster every sound

VocabularyBuild your word bank

Vocab GameLearn while playing

Scan QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Same Channel

Ted's Most Hilarious Shenanigans! | Ted | Big Screen Laughs

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

FOR YOU

Recommend Video

93 sentences

What You'll Practice in This Lesson

Ready to learn English with videos while having a laugh? This lesson uses a funny scene from Ted to help you practice speaking and listening. You'll work on understanding casual conversation, picking up slang, and improving your pronunciation through shadow speech. The dialogue is fast, playful, and full of everyday phrases—perfect for getting comfortable with real-life English.

Key Vocabulary & Phrases to Learn

"Kick me out": To force someone to leave a place (e.g., "The teacher might kick me out if I’m late again").
"In possession of": To have something (often used in formal or legal contexts, like "He was in possession of a stolen phone").
"Narc on": To tell on someone (slang; e.g., "Don’t narc on me—let’s keep this a secret").
"Partake of": To consume or take part in something (casual here; "We partake of coffee every morning").
"Bad seed": Someone who behaves badly (e.g., "My little brother is a bad seed—he’s always pranking people").

Tips for Shadowing This Video

Shadow speak is all about mimicking the speed, tone, and rhythm of native speakers. This video has quick, conversational exchanges—so pause often! Start by watching a 5-second clip, then replay it and repeat immediately. Focus on the playful intonation, like Ted’s sarcastic "Hello, God" or John’s awkward "I had diarrhea." Notice how words blend together, like "gonna" instead of "going to" or "weirder" with a soft "r." To improve English pronunciation, pay attention to stressed syllables in phrases like "mid-times" (stress on "mid") or "El Bowl" (exaggerate the "el" for humor). Practice daily, and soon you’ll sound more natural in casual chats—just like the characters in the video!

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	I've saved · have never seen
Advice with “should” should + verb — saying what is a good idea	Should we say · should be · should put
Superlatives the -est / the most … — the top or bottom of a group	the meanest · the coolest
Present continuous am/is/are + -ing — something happening right now or around now	are telling · I'm saving · we're not judging

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: Ted Series Funniest Moments | Ted (2024) | Big Screen Laughs - Learn English Speaking with Video

Choose a practice mode

Download App

Ted's Most Hilarious Shenanigans! | Ted | Big Screen Laughs

Ted Brutally Roasts The Mean Girl At School | Ted

Young Sheldon When georgie stole meemaw's car 4𝙆 #BestOfSheldon missy cooper

Family Guy Funniest Moments Compilation

Bad Day Time Loop - Studio C

Friends: Monica Breaks Up with Alan (Season 1 Clip) | TBS

Just Go With It: Do it for the kids

Married With Children 0101 Pilot

How I met your mother S01 E01 Pt1

Friends: Ross gets rushed to the Emergency Room (Season 1 Clip) | TBS

"Missy's Savage Moments"☠️🔥 | young sheldon |#Trending #Shorts

Funniest Moments from Season 1: Part 1 | The Middle

Every Meme Template From the Office - The Office US

What You'll Practice in This Lesson

Key Vocabulary & Phrases to Learn

Tips for Shadowing This Video

Grammar in this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?