Shadowing Practice: this is why you can't enjoy anything anymore. - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Get ready with me to run, don't walk to the pack with me for my trip to Greece in five minutes

or less in the best neighborhood in Los Angeles with my matcha cold foam, banana flavored air one, Hailey Bieber smoothie with peptides.

Hello team.

As my subscribers may know, I usually post about books, but sometimes I like doing little rant videos such as this.

Today I wanted to talk about a subject that has been

so heavy on my mind for such a long period of time.

specifically because I find that with social media and just being in your 20s these days,

all of our nervous systems are firing on all cylinders.

And I have been this year really trying to unlearn the hustle optimization mindset.

You know the feeling when you go to the gym

and then you realize that you're not wearing your Apple Watch or your Garmin or Fitbit, whatever.

And there is a sense of real life panic and anxiety

that your workout will not count because of the fact you forgot your watch at home.

Or your phone.

Or whatever is tracking your movements and your steps and your calories and whatever.

And you can also bring this into reading.

The Goodreads reading challenge.

You can't enjoy a book without constantly thinking, what percentage am I at?

When am I going to finish it?

There seems to be this common feeling as of late

that we have kind of lost the ability to enjoy our hobbies anymore because they've turned into measurements.

Measurements used to demonstrate how smart we are, driven we are, successful we are,

rich we are, fit we are.

And so today I wanted to do a bit of a deep dive on this culture,

this optimization culture, which now lends itself mostly to the term maxing.

Optimization is the process of making a system, design, or procedure as effective, functional, or perfect as possible.

And the first three examples it gives are business optimization, technology optimization, mathematic optimization.

In the beginning of these technological advancements such as Apple watches and calorie trackers and stuff like that,

it wasn't entirely wrong in the beginning.

It finally gave everyday people like us access to health data

that you used to have to go to your doctor to acquire.

So it made health data far more accessible for everyone.

And if you were someone that struggled with an autoimmune disease or weight, whether that be weight gain or weight loss, it helped you keep track of these things

and potentially get you on a better path sooner rather than having to constantly go back and forth from the doctor.

But somewhere along the way, it became not about health or happiness, but more about the numbers and the statistics.

It really just stopped being about how you feel

and more about your Strava pace and time and your sleep hours

and your calorie count and your calorie in and out and how many grams of protein you've had every day.

Every single thing in life became endrenched in numbers and metrics.

And I think the real irony in this comes from the fact

that our obsession with numbers and measurements

and stats has taken away the things in life that truly make you feel grounded and grateful and like a human being.

Human connection, friendships, experiences out in the world or in your town or city, whatever it is.

And ironically, these are the things that can't be sold in supplements or can't be attained by doing a certain diet.

And I do really think that

that fact alone has really contributed to the amount of young people who are on antidepressants

and anti-anxieties because we live in an age that is so ironically antisocial.

A few weeks ago, I read a article on Substack that's called, We're All Maxing Now.

And if you've been on social media for a long time, or even just recently, then it's very probable that you've run into looks maxing,

money maxing, fitness maxing.

This term blank maxing is actually something

that we've seen on the internet since the age of the influencer actually began

but we've only now just come up with this buzzword for it.

A morning in my life as a clean girl.

I wake up at 5 a.m.

I drink hot lemon tea as soon as I wake up.

I take my ice mask out of the freezer.

I put it under my eyes.

I get my ice rollers.

I sculpt my cheekbones with my gua sha.

I go to Pilates.

This fascination with days in my life

and what I eat in a day have made us believe

that we need to be treating our bodies like excel spreadsheets

and what kind of equations should we use to optimize our specific body

and how can we organize our body

and our time in the best way possible so

that we can become the most successful the most fit

and the most happy as fast as possible

and i think this is also fascinating

because i think our society has a real problem with thinking

that happiness is something that is the light at the end of the tunnel

and once you get there it will be happy for the rest of time

and i think that that's a real problem because telling each other

that you can achieve happiness it's misleading because you can never achieve happiness that will last forever.

That's just simply not how life works, unfortunately.

The term maxing was popularized online on a beautiful thriving metropolis on the internet called Reddit.

It was actually popularized by a bunch of incels on Reddit

actually where looks maxing meant how to increase your sexual value as a man.

So why did we start doing this?

When did we start the bottomless pit of self-optimization and why?

In my opinion, with the rise of social media over this last decade, two decades now I suppose,

we especially as younger people are so used to seeing lives

that are so extravagant and so luxurious and

so much better than our own that we begin to feel inadequate

and i think a lot of the anger

and insecurity of people on the internet is due to this feeling of inadequacy

and when people feel inadequate what do they look for they look for ways to make themselves more valuable

if that even is possible we've all heard of the like i'm a high value man i'm a high value woman.

Like, just bullshit like that.

And I think you can actually trace most internet trends back to the idea of optimization.

For example, my gym routine, my back routine.

You know what?

I need to put on my glasses for this.

Optimize my vision.

As I was saying, anything framing your daily life as a human being as something to be strategized or maximized,

that's usually a dead giveaway that you've fallen into the trap of optimization.

Let's think of some examples.

Time blocking, habit stacking.

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We've all read atomic habits, okay?

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Keto diet, analog technique, journaling, manifestation journals, sleep, steps, screen time, every single thing.

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I personally do believe that this is also just a very large part of North American culture.

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I have been born and raised in Toronto

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and I still live in Toronto

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and the hustle culture grind mindset like just put your head down

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and work and don't complain and get it done and make millions before you're 30 and retire at 40.

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The corporate lifestyle and dream is so deeply entrenched into our culture now

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that it's almost Just as if we have begun to see ourselves as a corporation.

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And in this Substack article, the author speaks on this as well.

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We have become so entrenched by the romanticization of corporate lifestyle

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and shareholder value that we have started seeing ourselves as businesses to be sold and brands to be marketed.

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I mean, look at the literal terms, high value man and high value woman, as I previously talked about.

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So why does optimization culture persist?

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is it still so big and why does it seem as though it's never going to decrease?

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Because optimization culture and maxing culture thrives on discontent.

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I remember my dad told me a story

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and he used to work in sports marketing and he had a meeting with the owners of Jenny Craig.

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And if you don't know what Jenny Craig is, Jenny Craig is a weight loss program.

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I'm going to get this wrong, but somebody in the meeting said to one of the reps for Jenny Craig, besides meal plans, what exactly is it that you're trying to sell?

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And the people at Jenny Craig said, we're selling hope.

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And my dad told me this story

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because it made him a bit uncomfortable in the sense

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that the markets thrive on the consumers feeling like they are in a constant state of lack.

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Whether it's lacking hope, lacking material goods, money, whatever it is,

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the advertisements you see all subconsciously try to make you feel

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as though you are lacking in what they can provide you with.

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And listen, I'm not trying to knock Jenny Craig.

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I've heard a lot of Jenny Craig success stories.

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The person who said that didn't intend to say it in a malicious manner, but I just, after thinking deeper on that,

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it made me realize just the true agendas behind the advertisements that we are so exposed to all the time.

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Every single thing is an advertisement on how to better yourself.

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The author of this article then goes into something that's very interesting about why they think that this optimization culture,

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self-optimization, maxing culture has blown up so much.

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The author states that the issue is perhaps rooted in the fact that the American dream, the house, the family, the job, is no longer attainable anymore.

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So since us youths have given up on that, we are now looking to spend our money on our appearances or our bodies,

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which is the one thing that we perhaps can control.

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But also, I think that there can be a healthy balance.

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I think you can find a balance between optimization, healthy optimization, and performative optimization or maxing.

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How do we know when it's healthy and how do we know when it's performative?

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I think something that's so interesting is thinking about why is there an option to have friends on your Apple Watch?

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Why is there an option to have friends on Strava?

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Why is it important to have followers on your fitness page?

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If it really was for yourself, why would you need other people to see it or want other people to be paying attention and to see it?

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Or why do you want to look at other people's stats?

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When you think really deeply, why do you want that?

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And I have really been trying to question these habits that I have, like these performative habits that I have.

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For me especially, it's with books.

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And if I read like one book a month, oh my god, I'm a failure.

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I shouldn't even be making book videos on YouTube.

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Like I'm obviously not reading enough.

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Hey, who cares?

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It's just like those memes, you if you win, you if you lose.

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And it's just still a beautiful scene.

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It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

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What does matter is the joy and the learning that you achieved through reading.

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I also saw a TikTok by a creator that I just loved so much.

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Peptides, Pilates, Protein, Higher Rocks, Hot Girl Walk.

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Why is everything about wellness, Like, why is every single thing about, you know, being fit, being well,

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collagen this, collagen that, why don't you just put the collagen in the bloody cocktail?

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Are we not allowed to have fun anymore?

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Are we just not allowed to, like, not care?

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But if you're a young person and you're walking around drinking matcha and going to Pilates every single weekend with your friends, get a life.

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I wasn't thinking, oh my God, calorie deficit, blah, blah, blah.

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Should I go and have a Joe and the juice?

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joe and the freaking juice something mcdonald's can you just like live life and love

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and laugh a little bit okay even us older gals right

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everything is about the wellness okay i want to be well i'm taking my vitamins

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but i also want to have a shot okay

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and be well in your own time okay go to the

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gym do the pilates drink the green juice like i don't know bathe in the matcha

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if you want to or I gargled the peptides.

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Can we just, can we just live our lives?

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Enjoy your life.

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So I did have to cut it down quite a bit because it's a very long video, but essentially what the creator is getting at is

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that there is a culture of young people becoming so obsessed with work and hustle.

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And it's like, yes, when you live in a big city or or really anywhere now, you will need a job and you will have responsibilities.

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For the majority of people, that is just the reality.

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Or you have multiple jobs, or you're in school and have a job.

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Last year, I was school full-time and working full-time.

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And let me tell you, it's not fun.

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But that is the sad reality for a lot of people nowadays.

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And I think it's really important to remind ourselves that in our 20s, we don't need to have our career figured out.

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We don't need to be able to afford a down payment

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on a house We don't need to be getting married

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and having babies if you have the ability to do all of those things and that's what you want to do

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obviously More power to you.

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That's wonderful And I wish you all the best

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but for the most part people can't afford to be doing those things

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and people don't have everything Organized at this point in their lives

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and it causes

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so much stress for Literally all of my friends in their 20s who I speak to feel the exact same way.

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They're like, I'm a failure.

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I'm behind I'm this I'm that I'm like we're 25 years old.

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We're still kids in the world So it has been uh, probably over a week since I came back to this video Hi mister.

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We have a friend now.

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We have a friend.

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This is Carmi.

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Carmi for short, of course and he's the best.

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But as I was saying, there really is an ongoing trend with people in their 20s feeling like they need everything figured out right now.

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And if they don't, then they're a failure, which I think has significantly contributed to the fact that everyone

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and their mama is on antidepressants or some kind of SSRI, myself included.

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You're not.

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You're happy as a clam, But what I really wanted to try

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and figure out from the making of this video is what are the lasting effects of maxing culture

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and how can we possibly break these habits that we've created

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that are so unsustainable and just constantly make us feel like shit.

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I read a Substack article called Why Can't I Enjoy Anything Anymore by Push to Prod

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and it was so eye-opening and so well written and I just absolutely loved it.

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The author basically just talks about he's realized

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that he no longer finds a lot of joy

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or fulfillment in things that he used to and he's trying to figure out why exactly that is.

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In one part of the article he says, the things I can still enjoy have one thing in common, they produce something.

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Code ships, videos get published, projects get finished, there's an output, something to show for the time spent.

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The things I can't enjoy anymore don't produce anything.

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Because of maxing culture, we have literally rewired our brains to think that if there is nothing to show for it,

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then that action had no merit or no meaning whatsoever.

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And every moment that we spend doing something for fun,

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we feel like takes away from the time we could have spent creating something or making something of ourselves.

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When really that's not our fault, it's impossible to constantly be in a state of inspiration and creativity at all times.

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But we feel that way because everybody is struggling so much

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because of the financial situation of the world that even when you're working your ass off, like most people are, you still feel like my life isn't where it should be.

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And I do get it, you know, like we all have a fire under our ass right now to grind now

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so we can retire later or have a great life later but how long does that road actually go?

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I feel like it's a never-ending road that eventually just eats up our lives until we are finally, maybe, hopefully, retired.

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And then you're like, I should have done all those things when I was in my 20s.

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Like, why was I so concerned about building my future?

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Like, my future is still being built.

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You're never done building your future.

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Your future is imminent.

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And my mom's calling me.

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Something that helps me, and as cheesy as this sounds.

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Yes, hello.

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Whenever I get so anxiety ridden and I think about all the things

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that I should be doing instead of relaxing or instead of enjoying time off, I always just say to myself,

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it is a wonderful fluke that we exist in the first place.

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And there is honestly nothing you are supposed to do.

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We are here to enjoy our lives and if we have passions and we have ambitions, that's amazing.

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And 100% everybody wants to live a comfortable life for themselves, of course.

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The trend now is multi-millionaire, billionaire, like crazy wealth, like I want a Lamborghini.

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Nobody needs a Lamborghini.

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Why exactly do you want that if there was no other person on earth.

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So what exactly is the solution to this?

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I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I know the solution to this

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because I do suffer from this all the time, but I think part of the solution is just noticing.

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Notice when self-improvement is for you or when it's for others.

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Notice when people

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that you look up to are trying to convince you to

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spend an exorbitant amount of money in the name of bettering yourself.

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I think sometimes I, just like others, tend to forget that we live in a very surveyed,

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calculated world where we are accosted by advertisements literally every five seconds.

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And these companies, you know, I used to work in marketing.

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These companies will literally say and do anything to get you to buy what they're selling.

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That's the name of the game.

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So don't believe what all of these skincare brands are telling you, what all of these fitness plans, gym plans.

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It becomes impossible to kind of decipher what you actually enjoy

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and what you've just been told for so many years that you should enjoy.

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And I think that that's a really important distinction to try and make.

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Try living an entire day without logging anything.

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Do your workout without your Apple Watch.

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Go to sleep without recording it.

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Just remember what it's like to be little and just exist in the day,

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in the present, enjoying the things in front of you.

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And when you're bored, figuring out something else that inspires you or something more fun to do.

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I think some of the most brilliant ideas comes from when you're bored, when you're not on your phone doom scrolling.

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The amount of time I spend on my phone just scrolling reels or TikTok is abhorrent.

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It's really bad.

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Do something that you love or something that you find fun

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or just do something in a beautiful setting or with someone that you love.

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Have a beautiful meal, have a great drink, have a cool cocktail, and don't take a picture of it.

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Don't post it on your story.

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Just sit in the presence of it.

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Although it's uncomfortable and you think you're going to forget or you're not going to remember this detail, maybe you won't.

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But then you'll realize over time that that's okay.

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How often do you actually even go back and look at the photos that you take of the food that you eat.

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Honestly, we can do hard things.

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Keep creating things if that's what you really love, but create something that's just for you.

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Try and create something that you actually aren't going to share.

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Try and dig deep to remember why exactly you love doing this in the first place.

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To try and remember what part of the process it was that excited you so much before it became a commodity.

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Just do something with no optimization benefit.

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Call your friends, watch a movie and laugh and don't log it on Letterboxd.

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Have a thought and don't as a man get a microphone and start a podcast.

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There's really so many options.

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Do I want to take a picture of my dog sleeping soundly and peacefully and blissfully on my lap right now?

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Yeah.

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And maybe that's just the process of getting older.

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Maybe you just genuinely do enjoy working and the act of giving back to the man as we get older, but I really, I really,

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really doubt that that's the truth.

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And I don't want this video to come off as some like uppity privileged person saying, just relax, don't work so hard, just enjoy your life.

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Because that's not at all my point.

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I've had a job since I was 14 and worked so many different jobs.

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I had to move out of my apartment

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because I was in such bad debt and then had to move back in with my dad.

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At the end of it all, I do think it is that damn phone.

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If you guys enjoyed this video, my name is Olivia and this is Livy's Book Club and thank you so much for watching.

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I really appreciate your time if you made it this far.

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Do something for you today.

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Love you.

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Bye-bye.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “this is why you can't enjoy anything anymore”. This video has 299 sentences and 3765 words to shadow. The speech runs for 22:52. The speaker talks at a natural 165 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 84% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
optimization noun	/ˌɑptəmaɪˈzeɪʃən/	The design and operation of a system or process to make it as good as possible in some defined sense.
calorie noun	/ˈkæləɹi/	A non-SI unit of energy, equivalent to 4.184 kilojoules, that can raise the temperature of a kilogram of water by one degree Celsius. This is the unit normally…
advertisement noun	/ˈædvɚˌtaɪzmənt/	A commercial solicitation designed to sell some commodity, service or similar.
collagen noun	/ˈkɑləd͡ʒən/	The main structural protein in the extracellular matrix of the connective tissues of many animals.
matcha noun	/ˈmɑ.t͡ʃə/	A type of powdered green tea, traditionally used in Japanese tea ceremonies.
peptide noun	/ˈpɛptaɪd/	Any of a class of organic compounds consisting of various numbers of amino acids in which the amine of one is reacted with the carboxylic acid of the next to…
performative adjective		Being enacted as it is said.
hustle verb	/ˈhʌsəl/	To push someone roughly; to crowd; to jostle.
retire verb	/ɹəˈtaɪɹ/	To stop working on a permanent basis, usually because of old age or illness.
measurement noun	/ˈmɛʒ.ə.mənt/	The act of measuring.
antidepressant noun		An agent that prevents or counteracts depression.
entrench verb	/ɪnˈtɹɪnt͡ʃ/	To cut in; to furrow; to make trenches in or upon.
optimize verb	/ˈɑptɪmaɪz/	To act optimistically or as an optimist.
popularize verb		American and Oxford British spelling of popularise
wellness noun	/ˈwɛl.nɪs/	The quality or state of being in good health (sometimes emphasizing both health and safety); mental and physical soundness.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
figure out verb		To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce.
go back verb		To return to a place or state after having been there at a previous time.
blow up verb		To explode or be destroyed by explosion.
come off verb		To become detached.
come up with verb		To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it.
eat up verb		To consume completely.
look up to verb		To show respect or admiration for (someone); to see (someone) as a role model.
take away verb	/ˌteɪk əˈweɪ/	To remove something and put it in a different place.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

When am I going to finish it?
When did we start the bottomless pit of self-optimization and why?
Are we not allowed to have fun anymore?
Are we just not allowed to, like, not care?
Can we just, can we just live our lives?

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

Structure	In the video
“Used to” used to + verb — a past habit or state that is no longer true	used to demonstrate · used to have · used to work
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now	has been · have been · they've turned
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it	can't be sold · was popularized · was actually popularized
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing	people who are · person who said

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 82 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “sh” and “zh” sounds: optimization /ˌɑptəmaɪˈzeɪʃən/, measurement /ˈmɛʒ.ə.mənt/, antisocial /ˌæntiˈsəʊʃəl/, fascination /fæsɪˈneɪʃən/, luxurious /lʌɡˈʒʊəɹi.əs/
Long words — get the stress right: optimization /ˌɑptəmaɪˈzeɪʃən/, advertisement /ˈædvɚˌtaɪzmənt/, ironically /aɪˈɹɑnɪkli/, inadequate /ɪnˈædəkwɪt/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like optimization, calorie, advertisement.

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

Shadowing Practice: this is why you can't enjoy anything anymore. - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

Grammar in this video

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

What is the Shadowing Technique?