Shadowing Practice: Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This - Learn English Speaking with Video
Choose a practice mode
Each mode opens a full-screen practice room.
184 sentences
If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.
1
Your heartbreak will get better the moment you hear what I am about to say.
2
Yesterday, I sat with David Kessler, the world's foremost expert on grief,
3
to talk about the subject of heartbreak and how to find happiness again after we have had our heart broken.
4
One of the things that became eminently clear, if it wasn't clear to me before,
5
was that heartbreak and grief are like this.
6
People always want to know for me which grief is the worst.
7
Is it this kind of death?
8
Is it a divorce where they're still rejecting you every day on this planet?
9
Like, what's the worst?
10
And I always go, yours.
11
Your grief is always the worst.
12
It's always the worst.
13
Forget everyone else's.
14
It's just you.
15
Grief, David said, is a change you didn't want.
16
And what is heartbreak but a change you didn't want?
17
When someone leaves us, when someone betrays us, when someone decides that they no longer want us,
18
that is a change that we did not want.
19
And the result we typically call heartbreak, but that heartbreak is a kind of grief.
20
It's a grieving over a person we have lost that we'll likely never have back again.
21
It's a grieving over a future that we thought we would live out but is no longer our reality.
22
It's the unwelcome arrival of a reality, a new future, that we did not plan to begin today.
23
And are probably not ready to start today.
24
But the heartbreak I wanted to talk with David about was
25
not simply the heartbreak of a romantic partner who had left us,
26
but heartbreak in general that can occur in all different forms in our life.
27
Because we can be heartbroken in love, we can be heartbroken in life.
28
Heartbreak is a certainty of life and we are all going to experience it.
29
Now when I was talking to David, something interesting happened.
30
The truth is that as part of something that I am creating for you in the next couple of weeks, I haven't told you about it yet,
31
but I will at the end of this video.
32
I was speaking to David on your behalf, but he said something at the beginning of the conversation
33
that quickly brought me into the frame in a way that I never expected.
34
David said something that the moment he said it, I felt my own emotions coming up.
35
We go into comparisons in our own mind.
36
Oh, my grief, my heartbreak's not as much as theirs, or because of this time element, all that.
37
And I always tell people, when you're in your comparing state, you're in your mind.
38
And you don't have a broken mind, you have a broken heart.
39
And we have to go into our heart.
40
And of course we do this sometimes, don't we?
41
We may have dated someone for a month, and when that person decides they don't want us, or ghosts us, or it fizzles out,
42
we may feel heartbroken but not feel entitled to feel heartbroken in the way
43
that someone who has been dating someone for two years and it breaks up is heartbroken, or someone who's been in a 30-year marriage and is now going through a divorce is heartbroken.
44
But what David said is that this is all very logical reasoning, and it's not your mind that is broken, it's your heart.
45
And when David said that, I thought of my own heartbreak, not a heartbreak in my romantic life,
46
but some of the great heartbreaks of my life in general.
47
I felt myself starting to tear up, and I actually tried to carry on as if nothing was happening in the middle of this conversation.
48
I thought, I don't know if David can see right now that I'm getting upset,
49
but I'm gonna keep going because I wanna have lots of questions I wanna ask David and I don't wanna get derailed.
50
But David was happy enough to derail it for me.
51
But I also wanna say what I saw on your face, and you and I don't know each other that well yet, hopefully.
52
You, there was something that hit inside of you.
53
and I can tell you it's a little unattended grief and we all live with some unattended grief.
54
I mean right now that sadness in your eye there's something there and we all have it.
55
And I then had to consider
56
while I was helping all of you what grief I had not attended to in my own life
57
and I'd love to invite you now with me to think about what grief,
58
what disappointments in life, what heartbreak in your life have you not attended to?
59
And why don't we attend to these things?
60
You know, why is it that my instinct, aside from being live on camera,
61
helping you guys, why is it that my instinct was to move on from that and not sit with it with David, but to speed right past it.
62
It's because that pain that's behind it is so difficult to confront.
63
David said to me, I am the only grief expert who has studied buffalo.
64
And you may think, what do buffalo have to do with grief and heartbreak?
65
He said, well, buffalo, when they sense a storm coming,
66
they start heading towards the storm because they know that by heading towards the storm,
67
they will be in the storm for less time.
68
The storm will be over for them faster.
69
But what we humans do is we constantly try to stay a few feet away from the storm.
70
And by doing so, we remain in this storm's orbit indefinitely.
71
And we have all sorts of mechanisms for keeping the storm a few feet away.
72
We may numb ourselves, we may move on any time the situation gets close,
73
we may try and avoid any potential trigger for our heartbreak any time it comes up.
74
We may go to an emotion that's more comfortable for us to go to.
75
I know that there have been certain situations in my life and I'm not speaking past tense, I'm not talking about five years ago,
76
I'm talking about right now there are certain situations in my life
77
that it's been easier to be angry about and one of the things
78
that David said that flawed me was that anger is a bodyguard for pain.
79
And so I had to explore what pain is underneath that anger?
80
What pain is underneath your anger?
81
You know, maybe if you think back to a relationship that the way it ended or the betrayal that you experienced,
82
that thing that person did to you or made you feel
83
that anger that it brought up for you
84
that maybe stayed around for a long time what was underneath
85
that anger because I know what was underneath my anger what is underneath my anger is sadness it's
86
that grief and you know there are plenty of things in my life
87
that I've feel like there's plenty of storms I've headed right into very bravely
88
and there's There's other storms in my life where it's felt too scary to get close to that emotion.
89
And as David put it, we have this fear that if we start crying about something, we'll never stop.
90
So we avoid it altogether.
91
But in my life, and what this conversation with David proved to me was I wanna go towards those storms,
92
every single one of them that I have been avoiding.
93
Because I've done a lot of healing with myself in the last few years
94
and I've had the help of some amazing people, but I want to go further and I want to go into those storms that I've been ignoring
95
while staying a few feet away from.
96
You may want to do the same, because the truth is none of these emotions can stick around forever if we actually head into the storm,
97
if we act like the buffalo do, as David says.
98
And allowing ourselves to feel these emotions, deeply feel them, engage with them,
99
is a form of showing up for ourselves and tending to ourselves.
100
If we really feel our own sadness, the disappointment of what has happened to us in our lives,
101
then we have an opportunity to be there for ourselves.
102
We have an opportunity to exercise self-compassion, but we can't exercise that compassion for things that we're ignoring.
103
In order to have compassion for ourselves, we have to come to terms with the loss that we have experienced.
104
And the loss might be something that came and went, or it might be the feeling of loss that comes with something we never had.
105
The coming to terms with something that we never had, and the pain of that.
106
That's a form of showing up for ourselves, that self-compassion.
107
We live in a culture today that sort of demonizes the idea of feeling sorry for oneself, especially where I'm from in England.
108
The idea of feeling sorry for yourself is about the worst thing you can do.
109
But what we have to do is look at feeling sorry for yourself in a different light,
110
as feeling for yourself, for what you have been through.
111
The only time that feeling sorry for yourself is a problem is
112
when it goes hand in hand with a lack of accountability and ownership.
113
If I spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself and I never do anything about it, that's when we can waste our lives.
114
But what if feeling for yourself was doing something about it?
115
What if feeling for yourself was the root to doing something about it?
116
Haven't you ever had a conversation with someone where they felt for you?
117
they saw you and they understood you
118
and they showed up for you in a certain way
119
and by doing that it was healing for you and from
120
that place you were more empowered you were able to do more
121
because you felt seen that was a basis a foundation on
122
which you could actually start to move again well what
123
if you could do that for yourself i know that in various parts of my life For a long time, I never showed up for myself in that way.
124
One of the things David said was he realized about himself, no one ever abandoned me as badly as I abandoned myself.
125
And how do we abandon ourselves?
126
We abandon ourselves emotionally in all sorts of ways, by judging ourselves, shaming ourselves, constantly criticizing everything we do,
127
telling ourselves we're bad, telling ourselves we're unworthy, not sticking up for ourselves.
128
And like I've been saying, one of the ways we abandon ourselves is not recognizing our own pain, not actually sitting with our own pain and exploring it
129
and showing up for ourselves and exercising compassion for ourselves in that department.
130
One of the things that struck me about my conversation with David was the voice that he spoke to me in.
131
It was actually one of the things that made me most emotional was just his voice
132
because there was such a kindness to his voice.
133
It was so soft and loving and compassionate.
134
And it was in such direct contrast to the kind of voice
135
that I have used with myself so much in my life.
136
And just having the kind of voice that I want to get better at internally,
137
externalized in the form of David,
138
was it modeled how self-kindness can feel.
139
And that is a really beautiful thing.
140
There's a real you in there that's so kind and loving.
141
But, oh my gosh, that's the hardest voice to find.
142
But that's your voice.
143
And so that's the voice you got to keep turning up.
144
And it's scary to change and it's scary to grow.
145
We know what staying the same feels like.
146
Yeah, it's...
147
It's scary because it's a whole...
148
new way of being and you don't know how to move through the world like that yet.
149
This video alongside inviting you to look at the areas where you have unattended grief,
150
alongside being an invitation to head towards the storm,
151
can also be an invitation to start to adopt a different kinder, softer voice for yourself.
152
And maybe in some small way I can be that voice for you in this video.
153
If you want me and David to be that voice for you.
154
Well there are so many more things he said in
155
that interview that I'd love to share with you
156
and you may be wondering how to watch it or what this thing is that I've been working on.
157
I wanted to put together the kind of ultimate heartbreak expert series where I had
158
And some of the people that I trust the most, some of the people who are the best in the world at what they do,
159
who have the most experience and point them like a laser at how to find happiness after heartbreak.
160
And I didn't just sit with David, I sat with my dear friend Dr. Ramani, the world leading expert on narcissism.
161
I sat with Dr. Nicole Lepera, many of you know her as the holistic psychologist.
162
I sat with Lewis Howes, I sat with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu, and several more people who you will already, many of you know and love.
163
I think of this as like the Avengers of overcoming heartbreak, and I have assembled them to help you in your heartbreak.
164
It's been a stunning mini journey for me to speak to all of these people.
165
It has healed me in a number of ways as I have gone through this process, and I want to invite you to go through this process as well.
166
You're probably waiting for the moment where I tell you that this is a big expensive program.
167
It's not.
168
I wanted to do something special for everyone who had supported me by purchasing a copy of my new book, Love Life.
169
So if you have purchased a copy of the book, you are going to get the Expert Series completely free.
170
The whole thing.
171
I will be sending it to you.
172
You'll be getting an email shortly with all of the information about how you can access it.
173
And if you haven't bought a book, it's not too late.
174
you can grab a copy of the book
175
and for the price of a book you can have the entire expert series
176
which of course includes all of the interviews I've said and the one that I've just talked about with David Kessler.
177
I believe this is going to be an incredibly healing experience for
178
so many people and I cannot wait for you to see them.
179
So head on over to heartbreakseries.com.
180
You'll be able to pre-order a copy of the book
181
and you'll be able to sign up to the expert series while you're there.
182
I'll see you there.
183
Head over to heartbreakseries.com now and let's do some healing together.
184
I'll see you there.
Download App
Everything you need to speak fluently
AI PronunciationScore every sentence
IPA PracticeMaster every sound
VocabularyBuild your word bank
Vocab GameLearn while playing
Same Channel
C13
13 Subtle Ways to Make Him Want More With You
British AccentWorking Adults
B23
This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS
British AccentDaily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
How to Flirt Naturally
British AccentInterview EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
If You Feel Like You LOST The One, WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
How I Got Over My Worst Heartbreak (And You Can Too)
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
FOR YOU
Recommend Video
B27
31 sentences
How to Love without fear
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B27
20 sentences
Why Nothing Changes (And How To Break Free)
American AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
36 sentences
How To Get Over Rejection
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B26
158 sentences
She Rejected Him at the Wedding… Now He’s a Billionaire & She Begs! 😱💔 | English Listening Practice
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
45 sentences
If You’re Feeling Behind in Life Because of Your Mental Health, Watch This
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
248 sentences
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B23
133 sentences
The five hard conversations: preventing divorce
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
559 sentences
Walk Away Quietly, Even If It Hurts
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B28
105 sentences
Justin Bieber's Life Advice Will Leave You SPEECHLESS (Must Watch)
Business EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B24
45 sentences
The truth about regret nobody talks about | Mel Robbins #Shorts
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: David, heartbreak, ourselves, grief, storm. This video has 184 sentences and 2531 words to shadow. The speech runs for 16:15. The speaker talks at a natural 156 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| heartbreak noun | /ˈhɑɹt.bɹeɪk/ | Overwhelming mental anguish or grief, especially that caused by loss or disappointment. |
| grief noun | /ɡɹiːf/ | Suffering, hardship. |
| heartbroken adjective | Suffering from grief, especially after a failed romance. | |
| compassion noun | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | Deep awareness of the suffering of others that people have to the point of them being motivated to relieve such states. |
| abandon verb | /əˈbæn.dən/ | To give up or relinquish control of, to surrender or to give oneself over, or to yield to one's emotions. |
| underneath adverb | /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/ | Below; in a place beneath. |
| heal verb | /ˈhiːl/ | To make better from a disease, wound, etc.; to revive or cure. |
| emotion noun | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | A person's internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data. |
| buffalo noun | /ˈbʌf.ə.loʊ/ | An animal from the subtribe Bubalina, also known as true buffalos, such as the Cape buffalo, Syncerus caffer, or the water buffalo, Bubalus bubalis. |
| unattended adjective | Not attended; without persons present. | |
| sadness noun | /ˈsædnəs/ | The state or emotion of being sad. |
| derail verb | /ˌdiːˈɹeɪl/ | To cause to come off the tracks. |
| grieve verb | /ɡɹiːv/ | To cause sorrow or distress to. |
| instinct noun | /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ | A natural or inherent impulse or behaviour. |
| kindness noun | /ˈkaɪnd.nəs/ | The state of being kind. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| come up verb | To emerge or become known, especially unexpectedly. | |
| break up verb | To break or separate into pieces. | |
| live out verb | To not reside on the premises of one's employer (used especially of domestic staff such as nannies, cooks, maids, etc.) | |
| put together verb | To assemble, construct, build, or formulate. | |
| stick around verb | To stay; to linger; to remain. | |
| stick up for verb | To speak or act in defence (of); to defend or protect. | |
| tear up verb | /ˈtɛəɹ ˈʌp/ | To tear into pieces. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- And of course we do this sometimes, don't we?
- And why don't we attend to these things?
- What pain is underneath your anger?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | has been dating · have been avoiding · I've been ignoring |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have had · have lost · haven't told |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who has · people who are · people who you |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 54 contractions and reduced forms, such as I've, don't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, unworthy /ʌnˈwɝði/, theirs /ðɛɚz/, altogether /ɔl.tuˈɡɛð.ɚ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- Long words — get the stress right: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, eminently /ˈɛmɪnəntli/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/, indefinitely /ɪnˈdɛfɪnɪtli/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like heartbreak, grief, heartbroken.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.