ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This
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1
Your heartbreak will get better the moment you hear what I am about to say.
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Yesterday, I sat with David Kessler, the world's foremost expert on grief,
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to talk about the subject of heartbreak and how to find happiness again after we have had our heart broken.
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One of the things that became eminently clear, if it wasn't clear to me before,
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was that heartbreak and grief are like this.
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People always want to know for me which grief is the worst.
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Is it this kind of death?
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Is it a divorce where they're still rejecting you every day on this planet?
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Like, what's the worst?
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And I always go, yours.
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Your grief is always the worst.
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It's always the worst.
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Forget everyone else's.
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It's just you.
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Grief, David said, is a change you didn't want.
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And what is heartbreak but a change you didn't want?
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When someone leaves us, when someone betrays us, when someone decides that they no longer want us,
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that is a change that we did not want.
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And the result we typically call heartbreak, but that heartbreak is a kind of grief.
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It's a grieving over a person we have lost that we'll likely never have back again.
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It's a grieving over a future that we thought we would live out but is no longer our reality.
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It's the unwelcome arrival of a reality, a new future, that we did not plan to begin today.
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And are probably not ready to start today.
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But the heartbreak I wanted to talk with David about was
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not simply the heartbreak of a romantic partner who had left us,
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but heartbreak in general that can occur in all different forms in our life.
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Because we can be heartbroken in love, we can be heartbroken in life.
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Heartbreak is a certainty of life and we are all going to experience it.
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Now when I was talking to David, something interesting happened.
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The truth is that as part of something that I am creating for you in the next couple of weeks, I haven't told you about it yet,
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but I will at the end of this video.
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I was speaking to David on your behalf, but he said something at the beginning of the conversation
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that quickly brought me into the frame in a way that I never expected.
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David said something that the moment he said it, I felt my own emotions coming up.
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We go into comparisons in our own mind.
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Oh, my grief, my heartbreak's not as much as theirs, or because of this time element, all that.
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And I always tell people, when you're in your comparing state, you're in your mind.
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And you don't have a broken mind, you have a broken heart.
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And we have to go into our heart.
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And of course we do this sometimes, don't we?
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We may have dated someone for a month, and when that person decides they don't want us, or ghosts us, or it fizzles out,
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we may feel heartbroken but not feel entitled to feel heartbroken in the way
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that someone who has been dating someone for two years and it breaks up is heartbroken, or someone who's been in a 30-year marriage and is now going through a divorce is heartbroken.
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But what David said is that this is all very logical reasoning, and it's not your mind that is broken, it's your heart.
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And when David said that, I thought of my own heartbreak, not a heartbreak in my romantic life,
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but some of the great heartbreaks of my life in general.
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I felt myself starting to tear up, and I actually tried to carry on as if nothing was happening in the middle of this conversation.
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I thought, I don't know if David can see right now that I'm getting upset,
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but I'm gonna keep going because I wanna have lots of questions I wanna ask David and I don't wanna get derailed.
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But David was happy enough to derail it for me.
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But I also wanna say what I saw on your face, and you and I don't know each other that well yet, hopefully.
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You, there was something that hit inside of you.
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and I can tell you it's a little unattended grief and we all live with some unattended grief.
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I mean right now that sadness in your eye there's something there and we all have it.
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And I then had to consider
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while I was helping all of you what grief I had not attended to in my own life
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and I'd love to invite you now with me to think about what grief,
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what disappointments in life, what heartbreak in your life have you not attended to?
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And why don't we attend to these things?
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You know, why is it that my instinct, aside from being live on camera,
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helping you guys, why is it that my instinct was to move on from that and not sit with it with David, but to speed right past it.
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It's because that pain that's behind it is so difficult to confront.
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David said to me, I am the only grief expert who has studied buffalo.
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And you may think, what do buffalo have to do with grief and heartbreak?
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He said, well, buffalo, when they sense a storm coming,
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they start heading towards the storm because they know that by heading towards the storm,
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they will be in the storm for less time.
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The storm will be over for them faster.
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But what we humans do is we constantly try to stay a few feet away from the storm.
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And by doing so, we remain in this storm's orbit indefinitely.
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And we have all sorts of mechanisms for keeping the storm a few feet away.
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We may numb ourselves, we may move on any time the situation gets close,
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we may try and avoid any potential trigger for our heartbreak any time it comes up.
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We may go to an emotion that's more comfortable for us to go to.
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I know that there have been certain situations in my life and I'm not speaking past tense, I'm not talking about five years ago,
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I'm talking about right now there are certain situations in my life
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that it's been easier to be angry about and one of the things
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that David said that flawed me was that anger is a bodyguard for pain.
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And so I had to explore what pain is underneath that anger?
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What pain is underneath your anger?
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You know, maybe if you think back to a relationship that the way it ended or the betrayal that you experienced,
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that thing that person did to you or made you feel
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that anger that it brought up for you
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that maybe stayed around for a long time what was underneath
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that anger because I know what was underneath my anger what is underneath my anger is sadness it's
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that grief and you know there are plenty of things in my life
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that I've feel like there's plenty of storms I've headed right into very bravely
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and there's There's other storms in my life where it's felt too scary to get close to that emotion.
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And as David put it, we have this fear that if we start crying about something, we'll never stop.
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So we avoid it altogether.
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But in my life, and what this conversation with David proved to me was I wanna go towards those storms,
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every single one of them that I have been avoiding.
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Because I've done a lot of healing with myself in the last few years
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and I've had the help of some amazing people, but I want to go further and I want to go into those storms that I've been ignoring
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while staying a few feet away from.
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You may want to do the same, because the truth is none of these emotions can stick around forever if we actually head into the storm,
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if we act like the buffalo do, as David says.
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And allowing ourselves to feel these emotions, deeply feel them, engage with them,
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is a form of showing up for ourselves and tending to ourselves.
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If we really feel our own sadness, the disappointment of what has happened to us in our lives,
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then we have an opportunity to be there for ourselves.
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We have an opportunity to exercise self-compassion, but we can't exercise that compassion for things that we're ignoring.
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In order to have compassion for ourselves, we have to come to terms with the loss that we have experienced.
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And the loss might be something that came and went, or it might be the feeling of loss that comes with something we never had.
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The coming to terms with something that we never had, and the pain of that.
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That's a form of showing up for ourselves, that self-compassion.
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We live in a culture today that sort of demonizes the idea of feeling sorry for oneself, especially where I'm from in England.
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The idea of feeling sorry for yourself is about the worst thing you can do.
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But what we have to do is look at feeling sorry for yourself in a different light,
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as feeling for yourself, for what you have been through.
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The only time that feeling sorry for yourself is a problem is
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when it goes hand in hand with a lack of accountability and ownership.
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If I spend my whole life feeling sorry for myself and I never do anything about it, that's when we can waste our lives.
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But what if feeling for yourself was doing something about it?
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What if feeling for yourself was the root to doing something about it?
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Haven't you ever had a conversation with someone where they felt for you?
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they saw you and they understood you
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and they showed up for you in a certain way
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and by doing that it was healing for you and from
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that place you were more empowered you were able to do more
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because you felt seen that was a basis a foundation on
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which you could actually start to move again well what
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if you could do that for yourself i know that in various parts of my life For a long time, I never showed up for myself in that way.
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One of the things David said was he realized about himself, no one ever abandoned me as badly as I abandoned myself.
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And how do we abandon ourselves?
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We abandon ourselves emotionally in all sorts of ways, by judging ourselves, shaming ourselves, constantly criticizing everything we do,
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telling ourselves we're bad, telling ourselves we're unworthy, not sticking up for ourselves.
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And like I've been saying, one of the ways we abandon ourselves is not recognizing our own pain, not actually sitting with our own pain and exploring it
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and showing up for ourselves and exercising compassion for ourselves in that department.
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One of the things that struck me about my conversation with David was the voice that he spoke to me in.
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It was actually one of the things that made me most emotional was just his voice
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because there was such a kindness to his voice.
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It was so soft and loving and compassionate.
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And it was in such direct contrast to the kind of voice
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that I have used with myself so much in my life.
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And just having the kind of voice that I want to get better at internally,
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externalized in the form of David,
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was it modeled how self-kindness can feel.
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And that is a really beautiful thing.
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There's a real you in there that's so kind and loving.
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But, oh my gosh, that's the hardest voice to find.
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But that's your voice.
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And so that's the voice you got to keep turning up.
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And it's scary to change and it's scary to grow.
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We know what staying the same feels like.
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Yeah, it's...
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It's scary because it's a whole...
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new way of being and you don't know how to move through the world like that yet.
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This video alongside inviting you to look at the areas where you have unattended grief,
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alongside being an invitation to head towards the storm,
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can also be an invitation to start to adopt a different kinder, softer voice for yourself.
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And maybe in some small way I can be that voice for you in this video.
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If you want me and David to be that voice for you.
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Well there are so many more things he said in
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that interview that I'd love to share with you
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and you may be wondering how to watch it or what this thing is that I've been working on.
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I wanted to put together the kind of ultimate heartbreak expert series where I had
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And some of the people that I trust the most, some of the people who are the best in the world at what they do,
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who have the most experience and point them like a laser at how to find happiness after heartbreak.
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And I didn't just sit with David, I sat with my dear friend Dr. Ramani, the world leading expert on narcissism.
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I sat with Dr. Nicole Lepera, many of you know her as the holistic psychologist.
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I sat with Lewis Howes, I sat with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu, and several more people who you will already, many of you know and love.
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I think of this as like the Avengers of overcoming heartbreak, and I have assembled them to help you in your heartbreak.
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It's been a stunning mini journey for me to speak to all of these people.
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It has healed me in a number of ways as I have gone through this process, and I want to invite you to go through this process as well.
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You're probably waiting for the moment where I tell you that this is a big expensive program.
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It's not.
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I wanted to do something special for everyone who had supported me by purchasing a copy of my new book, Love Life.
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So if you have purchased a copy of the book, you are going to get the Expert Series completely free.
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The whole thing.
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I will be sending it to you.
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You'll be getting an email shortly with all of the information about how you can access it.
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And if you haven't bought a book, it's not too late.
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you can grab a copy of the book
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and for the price of a book you can have the entire expert series
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which of course includes all of the interviews I've said and the one that I've just talked about with David Kessler.
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I believe this is going to be an incredibly healing experience for
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so many people and I cannot wait for you to see them.
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So head on over to heartbreakseries.com.
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You'll be able to pre-order a copy of the book
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and you'll be able to sign up to the expert series while you're there.
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I'll see you there.
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Head over to heartbreakseries.com now and let's do some healing together.
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I'll see you there.
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คำศัพท์และข้อสังเกตด้านการพูดสำหรับบทเรียนนี้
บทเรียนฝึกพูดระดับ B2 นี้ใช้วิดีโอ “Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This” เป็นสื่อ คำที่ถูกพูดซ้ำบ่อยที่สุด: David, heartbreak, ourselves, grief, storm วิดีโอนี้มี 184 ประโยค และ 2531 คำ สำหรับฝึกพูดตาม ช่วงที่มีเสียงพูดยาว 16:15 ผู้พูดพูดด้วยความเร็วเป็นธรรมชาติ ประมาณ 156 คำต่อนาที ใกล้เคียงกับบทสนทนาในชีวิตประจำวัน 86% ของคำอยู่ใน 3,000 คำที่ใช้บ่อยที่สุดในภาษาอังกฤษ ส่วนที่เหลือควรดูไว้ก่อนเริ่มฝึก
คำศัพท์สำคัญในวิดีโอนี้
คำที่ยากที่สุด 15 คำในวิดีโอ พร้อมคำอ่านและความหมาย:
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| grief คำนาม | /ɡɹiːf/ | ความเศร้า |
| heartbroken คำคุณศัพท์ | ตรอมใจ, ช้ำใจ | |
| compassion คำนาม | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | เมตตา, กรุณา |
| abandon คำกริยา | /əˈbæn.dən/ | ทิ้ง, ละทิ้ง |
| emotion คำนาม | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | อารมณ์ |
| buffalo คำนาม | /ˈbʌf.ə.loʊ/ | ควาย, กระบือ |
| sadness คำนาม | /ˈsædnəs/ | ความเศร้า, ความทุกข์ |
| instinct คำนาม | /ˈɪn.stɪŋkt/ | สัญชาตญาณ |
| disappointment คำนาม | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | ความผิดหวัง |
| betray คำกริยา | /bɪˈtɹeɪ/ | ทรยศ, หักหลัง |
| bodyguard คำนาม | /ˈbɑːdiɡɑːɹd/ | องครักษ์ |
| narcissism คำนาม | /ˈnɑɹsəˌsɪzm/ | ความหลงตนเอง |
| numb คำคุณศัพท์ | /nʌm/ | ชา |
| criticize คำกริยา | /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/ | ติ, วิจารณ์ |
| assemble คำกริยา | /əˈsɛm.bəl/ | รวมตัว |
กริยาวลีที่คุณจะได้ยิน
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| tear up คำกริยา | /ˈtɛəɹ ˈʌp/ | ฉีกเป็นชิ้นๆ |
ประโยคที่ควรฝึกพูดซ้ำ
ประโยคสั้น ๆ ที่สมบูรณ์จากวิดีโอ ซึ่งนำไปใช้ในบทสนทนาประจำวันได้:
- And of course we do this sometimes, don't we?
- And why don't we attend to these things?
- What pain is underneath your anger?
ไวยากรณ์ในวิดีโอนี้
โครงสร้างที่ผู้พูดใช้บ่อยที่สุด พร้อมคำพูดจริงจากวิดีโอ:
| โครงสร้าง | ในวิดีโอ |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — การกระทำที่เริ่มก่อนหน้านี้และยังดำเนินอยู่ | has been dating · have been avoiding · I've been ignoring |
| Present perfect have/has + กริยาช่อง 3 — เหตุการณ์ในอดีตที่ยังเกี่ยวข้องกับปัจจุบัน | have had · have lost · haven't told |
| Relative clauses who / which + อนุประโยค — ข้อมูลเพิ่มเติมเกี่ยวกับคนหรือสิ่งของ | someone who has · people who are · people who you |
การออกเสียงที่ควรระวัง
ผู้พูดใช้รูปย่อและรูปลดเสียง 54 ครั้ง เช่น I've, don't, I'm ให้พูดแบบสั้นตามที่ได้ยิน
- เสียง “th”: underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, unworthy /ʌnˈwɝði/, theirs /ðɛɚz/, altogether /ɔl.tuˈɡɛð.ɚ/
- เสียง “sh” และ “zh”: compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- คำยาว — ลงเสียงหนักให้ถูกพยางค์: disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, eminently /ˈɛmɪnəntli/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/, indefinitely /ɪnˈdɛfɪnɪtli/
เสียงที่คนไทยมักออกเสียงยาก:
- เสียงท้ายคำ — ออกเสียงให้ครบ ไม่เปลี่ยนเป็นตัวสะกดแบบไทย: grief /ɡɹiːf/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, heal /ˈhiːl/, sadness /ˈsædnəs/, derail /ˌdiːˈɹeɪl/
- /v/ — ไม่ใช่ /w/ ให้ฟันบนแตะริมฝีปากล่าง: grieve /ɡɹiːv/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, bravely /ˈbɹeɪvli/
- /z/ — เสียงก้อง ไม่ใช่ /s/: demonize /ˈdiːmənaɪz/, fizzle /ˈfɪzəl/, narcissism /ˈnɑɹsəˌsɪzm/, criticize /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
วิธีฝึกกับวิดีโอนี้
- ฟังวิดีโอให้จบหนึ่งรอบโดยยังไม่ต้องพูด แล้วจดคำที่ยังไม่รู้จัก
- เริ่มที่ความเร็ว 0.75× พูดตามทีละประโยค แล้วกลับไปใช้ความเร็วปกติเมื่อเริ่มคล่อง
- อัดเสียงตัวเองแล้วเทียบกับต้นฉบับ โดยสังเกตคำอย่าง grief, heartbroken, compassion เป็นพิเศษ
เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?
Shadowing เป็นเทคนิคการเรียนรู้ภาษาที่ได้รับการรับรองทางวิทยาศาสตร์ พัฒนาขึ้นสำหรับการฝึกนักแปลมืออาชีพ วิธีการนี้เรียบง่ายแต่ทรงพลัง: คุณฟังเสียงภาษาอังกฤษจากเจ้าของภาษาและพูดตามทันที — เหมือนเงาที่ตามผู้พูดด้วยช่วงเวลาห่าง 1-2 วินาที การวิจัยแสดงว่าเทคนิคนี้ปรับปรุงความแม่นยำในการออกเสียง ทำนองเสียง จังหวะ การเชื่อมเสียง การฟังเข้าใจ และความคล่องแคล่วในการพูดได้อย่างมีนัยสำคัญ