Shadowing Practice: This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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But is it appropriate for someone who...
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No. Yeah.
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No, no, no, no, no. There's very little about what was just said that's appropriate.
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So for this week, I thought I'd do something a little different.
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I have a club called the Love Life Club, and every month I answer questions of my members.
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This one caught my attention as something that would be fun to bring to all of you here.
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It was someone who asked, How do you know the difference between someone who is love bombing you and someone who has real intentions?
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This was my answer.
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And by the way, don't forget to like this video, subscribe to this channel and hit the notification bell so that you get notified the next time we do a video.
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Can we do one final question?
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Please.
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Yeah.
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From someone called Tamila.
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How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine attention?
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I met a man online.
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In brackets, I'm traveling out of country.
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He was pursuing me and is waiting to meet when I'm back in the US.
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We're in different states and he's organizing a day in his city, San Diego, in a month.
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In his text, there's a lot of us talk.
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Talk of living together, how many kids I'd want, asking me for my preferences on houses, calling me wifey, etc. Help.
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How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine intention?
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How long has she been speaking to this man?
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She met him online.
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But how long ago?
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It doesn't say But is it appropriate for someone who know?
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Yeah, no, no, no, no, no There's very little about what was just said that's appropriate
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It's you know it that's has love bombing written all Over it.
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How do you not get swept up?
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Because it's a lovely thing to hear, right?
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You meet someone you find attractive, whatever, and they're saying all the right things, and they're saying all these, like, how do you stop yourself from getting carried away in those kinds of words?
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Here's what you hear in your head.
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You hear, imagine someone just rang your phone, like it was an unknown number, and you picked it up and it was a automated message
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and it said you have been selected from a random pool
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of people to collect two million dollars all you need to
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do to collect your winnings is to speak now with your bank account details so that we can deposit the funds
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that's what you imagine being said because if
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that happened we'd all be like hang up this doesn't make
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any sense why you're giving me two million dollars right now I've never been that lucky in my entire life
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it doesn't add up two million dollars is not that easy to make no
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if someone out of nowhere starts saying wifey this, wifey that, we're going to have this many kids, we're going to live in this house,
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either they are projecting to a scary degree,
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which means that there's something unhealthy about them
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and they believe they're this in love with you and they're mistaken because they don't even know you.
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So that love isn't real and you're dealing with a really unhealthy person, or you're dealing with a scammer.
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What they're scamming you out of, it might be sex, it might be money,
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it might be just all of your energy, and they're not going to give you anything in return.
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They're just going to bring you out to San Diego
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and have a fun with you and then send you back and be like, wifey what?
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I didn't say any of that.
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I don't remember any of that it's
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you know there's some they're trying to get something
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they're trying to get something
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so you you have to start seeing it for what it
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really is it feels nice to be told you just won a million dollars but you can't trust it
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and it's the same with this how can you feel this way about me you do not know me
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you have no idea who I am
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so either take the time to actually get to know who I am and let's start again or
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I'm going to see this for what it is
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which is either a gross projection or a manipulation but someone can only know you over time by asking questions,
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by taking the time to actually get to know you And by the way, be careful of like traveling to see someone who you don't know.
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I mean, in general, are they willing to make an effort to see you?
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Could they meet you halfway?
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You know, like, is there a way for the two of you to meet in a way
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that requires at least some mutual investment?
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Because the, you know, fly to be with me in my backyard is a very easy thing to say to someone.
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And I'm not saying that means they're dangerous or evil, but at the very least, it's like, it's a lot of work for you
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and none for them I think that's such a good point we've made it before
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but um just when somebody asks you to fly to see them it feels like investment
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because you go oh my god they really want to spend all this time with me
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but actually it's no investment
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if the person is thinking well I'm gonna have a nice weekend I'm gonna get sex out of it
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and then they fly home and i never have to think about it again
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or i certainly don't have to think about it further than
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that weekend and until i decide but we think it feels like
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because it feels like investment right it feels like it's something serious
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because you think oh this person wants to spend a weekend with me exactly
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so yeah i think that's really interesting what it is is
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you're depositing a whole lot of money for very little investment on their part.
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Thank you so much for watching.
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Before you go, if finding love is a priority for you this year, I have something for you that is brand new.
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I'm really excited about it.
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It's a training that's completely free that you can do right now that shows you how to avoid casual situations,
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how to finally find your person and how to get the commitment that you deserve with them.
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It's called Dating with Results.
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Thousands of people have now been through this training and it's available for you to watch right now at datingwithresults.com.
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Go check it out.
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I can't wait to see what you think and I'll speak to you soon.
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Thank you.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS”. This video has 88 sentences and 1125 words to shadow. The speech runs for 7:07. The speaker talks at a natural 158 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 90% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow. 14 of its 88 sentences are questions, so it is good practice for question intonation and short answers.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| differentiate verb | /dɪf.əˈɹɛn.ʃi.eɪt/ | To modify so as to create a difference or distinction. |
| unhealthy adjective | /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/ | Characterized by, or conducive to poor health. |
| automate verb | /ˈɔ.təˌmeɪt/ | To replace or enhance human labor with machines. |
| notify verb | /ˈnoʊtɪfaɪ/ | To give (someone) notice (of some event). |
| projection noun | /pɹəˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | Something which projects, protrudes, juts out, sticks out, or stands out. |
| bracket noun | /ˈbɹækɪt/ | A fixture attached to a wall to hold up a shelf. |
| manipulation noun | /məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/ | The practice of manipulating or the state of being manipulated. |
| backyard noun | /bækˈjɑːd/ | A yard to the rear of a house or similar residence. |
| notification noun | /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/ | The act of notifying. |
| scam noun | /ˈskæm/ | A fraudulent or dishonest deal. A swindle. |
| sweep verb | /swiːp/ | To clean (a surface) by means of a stroking motion of a broom or brush. |
| organize verb | /ˈɔɹɡənaɪz/ | To arrange in working order. |
| subscribe verb | /səbˈskɹaɪb/ | To write (one’s name) at the bottom of a document; to sign (one's name). |
| halfway adverb | /ˌhæfˈweɪ/ | Half of the way between two points. |
| preference noun | /ˈpɹɛf(ə)ɹ(ə)ns/ | The selection of one thing or person over others (with the main adposition being "for" in relation to the thing or person, but possibly also "of") |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| add up verb | To take the sum of; to total. |
| hang up verb | To put up to hang. |
| sweep up verb | To clean by sweeping. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Can we do one final question?
- How do I differentiate between love bombing and genuine attention?
- In brackets, I'm traveling out of country.
- How do you not get swept up?
- Could they meet you halfway?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was just said · have been selected · being said |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have been selected · I've never been · we've made |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | someone who asked · someone who know · someone who you |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 44 contractions and reduced forms, such as they're, I'm, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: differentiate /dɪf.əˈɹɛn.ʃi.eɪt/, projection /pɹəˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, manipulation /məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/
- Long words — get the stress right: differentiate /dɪf.əˈɹɛn.ʃi.eɪt/, manipulation /məˌnɪp.juˈleɪ.ʃən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like differentiate, unhealthy, automate.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.