Shadowing Practice: British People Never Say "I Like you" - They Do This Instead - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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someone british once said to me god you're so annoying
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and i said thank you
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because i knew exactly what they meant in the uk there
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is a whole secret language running underneath what we actually say
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and if you don't know that language you will misread us and misunderstand us constantly.
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You'll think we hate you when we like you.
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You'll think we like you when we are furious with you.
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And you will spend years being baffled by a nation who apologize to items of furniture that they bump into,
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but who will absolutely never tell you they enjoy your company.
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Unless perhaps they are drunk but that's a video for another day.
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Today I am going to teach you the subtext of British communication.
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The real signs that someone British likes you and I promise you some of these will surprise you.
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Don't forget to check out the free pdfs that I offer.
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Links are in the description below.
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The first sign that someone British actually likes you, they start teasing you.
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Let me give you an example.
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Imagine this.
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You've been working somewhere for a few weeks, maybe a month or two.
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You walk into the office one morning and a colleague says, oh good, you're here.
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Now we can all collectively lower our standards together.
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The wrong reaction would be to take offense.
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The right reaction would be relief.
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Because this colleague has just told you in the most british way possible
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that they are comfortable with you we don't tease anybody we don't tease complete strangers
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that would be mortifying we tease people we've quietly decided
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that we like
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because it lets us show warmth without having to say anything
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as horrifying as i enjoy your company a good way to see it is as affection
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with plausible deniability and the key once again you probably know what i am going to say it's
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that word i always use yes the key is the tone
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if it is gentle a little absurd playful there is no real sting to it
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if it makes you both laugh you're in the second sign that someone british likes you they start complaining to you.
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Not about you.
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Again, that's different.
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Complaining to you.
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Complaining in the UK is intimacy.
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With strangers, we complain about safe things.
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The weather, train delays, the fact that there are now 17 types of oat milk and none of them froth properly.
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But when someone starts properly venting to you, that's a good word, vent.
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We often say, sorry for the vent.
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They start venting properly to you about their commute, their manager, their partner, anything, anything personal.
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That signals trust.
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They trust you enough to do that.
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They have decided that you will understand and that you will nod
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and look horrified in the right places you might even contribute your own grievances and indeed
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if someone starts venting to you you should it shows mutual
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trust you will spend a companionable 10 minutes getting quietly outraged together in short
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if someone is bringing you their problems even their petty ones they like you.
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The third sign is that the politeness starts to drop.
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When British people first meet you the politeness can almost be aggressive.
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Oh so sorry no sorry after you you go first.
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I'm so sorry could I trouble you for a pen?
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But the thing is very often that level of politeness is actually a form of distance.
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It's what we do with people we don't yet know how to be around.
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It's why also our voice our intonation goes up
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so much we talk really highly
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when we're being polite sorry would you mind possibly why I don't know we just do
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so when someone stops saying to you sorry would you mind
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or could you possibly
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and instead say something direct like can you move this they
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haven't become ruder they've become more comfortable with you you have
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moved from a person I must perform for to a person I can just talk to.
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And that is a promotion.
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Again, it means they like you.
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I will say this doesn't apply if someone is just rude from the beginning, that means they are just rude.
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The videos that I do are generalisations.
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Not every single British person is incredibly polite and indirect.
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These are general things to be aware of.
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The next sign is that they trust you with humour.
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British humour has a learning curve.
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It is mostly irony.
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Irony and sarcasm.
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Saying the opposite of what do you mean in a deadpan, dry way and then watching to see if the other person gets it.
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I unpack British humour more in this video if you are interested.
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You could cook someone a Michelin star masterpiece meal
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that has taken you hours and they might just nod and say in a deadpan way,
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well, it's not completely inedible.
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And that is a rave review.
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When a British person starts using that type of humour with you, it means something specific.
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They think you can handle it.
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They're not going to have to explain themselves.
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They can be slightly strange and you can be slightly strange back and that's absolutely fine.
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Neither of you needs to explain.
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That's a level of trust that can take some time to reach
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but once you've reached it there's no better stamp of approval than
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that trusting you with that kind of humor and the next signal
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if you're very lucky you will get the invitation a bunch of us are going to the pub this evening
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if you wanted to come we're doing a barbecue on sunday nothing fancy
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but you're welcome to come if you want or the most significant one.
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Shall we grab a cup of tea?
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Tea in the UK is never just tea.
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Tea is we sit down.
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We have time for each other.
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I want to hear what's going on in your life.
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That is what tea means.
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We will make tea for people we like.
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We will definitely make tea in a moment of crisis.
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And we will make tea
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when we have no idea what else we can do for you
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but we want you to know
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that we are there for you we will make you tea
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if someone puts the kettle on just for you you're in there we go
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if a British person teases you complains to you stops being excessively polite around you
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and trusts you with their quirky sense of humor
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or invites you for tea
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or a pint they like you although they almost certainly won't say
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that obviously they might say yeah you're all right
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or yeah i don't mind spending time with you they might
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say nothing at all just refill your mug without you having to ask
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but they will know and now so will you
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if you are more interested in british culture make sure you
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look at this playlist where i go into more details about british culture
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and what it means here don't forget to check out your
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free pdfs links are below as well as details of online lessons
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and courses with me have a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you in the next one, hopefully.
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Bye.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “British People Never Say "I Like you" - They Do This Instead”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: british, tea, trust, sign. This video has 116 sentences and 1221 words to shadow. The speech runs for 8:06. The speaker talks at a natural 151 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| humour noun | /ˈhjuːmɚ/ | The quality of being amusing, comical, funny. |
| complain verb | /kəmˈpleɪn/ | To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment. |
| tease verb | /tiːz/ | To separate the fibres of (a fibrous material). |
| rude adjective | /ɹuːd/ | Lacking in refinement or civility; bad-mannered; discourteous. |
| polite adjective | /pəˈlaɪt/ | Well-mannered, civilized. |
| vent noun | /vɛnt/ | An opening through which gases, especially air, can pass. |
| stranger noun | /ˈstɹeɪnd͡ʒɚ/ | A person whom one does not know; a person who is neither a friend nor an acquaintance. |
| quietly adverb | /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/ | Producing little or no noise. |
| colleague noun | /ˈkɒliːɡ/ | A fellow member of a profession, staff, academic faculty or other organization; an associate, a workmate. |
| irony noun | /ˈaɪ.ɚ.ni/ | The quality of a statement that, when taken in context, may actually mean something different from, or the opposite of, what is written literally; the use of… |
| ventilation noun | /ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/ | The replacement of stale or noxious air with fresh. |
| tone noun | /ˈtəʊn/ | A specific pitch. |
| meal noun | /ˈmiːl/ | Food that is prepared and eaten, usually at a specific time, and usually in a comparatively large quantity. |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| promotion noun | /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/ | An advancement in rank or position. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). |
| go up verb | To move upwards. |
| sit down verb | To assume a sitting position from a standing position. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- You'll think we hate you when we like you.
- I'm so sorry could I trouble you for a pen?
- Shall we grab a cup of tea?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if you're very lucky you will get |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has just told · have decided · haven't become |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being baffled · are drunk |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 28 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, we're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, froth /ˈfɹɒθ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: ventilation /ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, promotion /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/, intonation /ɪntəˈneɪʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: ventilation /ˌvɛntɪˈleɪʃ(ə)n/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like humour, complain, tease.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.