Prática de Shadowing: Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication | 5 Tips - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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Let's imagine you're out to dinner with a group of friends.
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You've been looking forward to this all week.
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The waiter finally brings your meal and it's not what you ordered.
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There are two ways you can respond in this situation.
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Option one, excuse me.
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I wonder if maybe there's been a mistake with this order.
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If not, don't worry about it.
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And option two, excuse me.
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I believe there's been a mistake with this order.
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I ordered the pasta with mushrooms, not the mushroom pizza.
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Do you notice that one response is more direct and confident than the other?
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The passive example places someone else's comfort above your own needs
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while the assertive response calmly and confidently states what you need or what you want without any negative emotion.
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So how can you confidently be assertive in English when you need to be direct,
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clear, and polite, it, whether you're sharing your needs, wants, or ideas.
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I have five specific strategies plus the language and sentence structures you need to help you do just that.
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But quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome.
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Welcome.
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I am Anne Marie, an English confidence and fluency coach.
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Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your life and work in English.
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If you'd love to discover hundreds of my English lessons, just like this one, you can find all of that and more over at my Speak Confident English website.
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In fact, while you're there, you can also download my free in -depth fluency training called
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how to get the confidence to say what you want in English.
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Now, Now, before we dive into these five strategies on how to be assertive in your English, I want to take a step back and make sure
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that we're crystal clear about the difference between passive and assertive communication and how both can be useful.
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Moreover, I want to distinguish the difference between assertive and aggressive communication
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so that you can be confident knowing that when you communicate assertively, it's still perfectly polite and appropriate.
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So first let's talk about what exactly is passive communication.
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We use this form of communication when a situation demands extremely polite and diplomatic communication,
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or when it's vital to maintain a harmonious atmosphere.
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However, passive communication can also lead to prioritizing others' needs, wants, and opinions above your own.
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Moreover, it can sound submissive or overly polite, avoiding confrontation, even at the cost of your own needs.
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In contrast to that, assertive communication means calmly and confidently stating your needs,
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wants, and opinions, even in difficult situations.
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It allows you to stand up for yourself while still respecting others, and it enables you to say no without feeling guilty.
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Assertiveness is all about finding balance between being respectful and ensuring that your voice is heard.
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To bring this all into focus, let's take a look at two example sentences.
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Let's say, for example, that you're in the process of asking for a pay raise.
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Again, you have two ways to do this.
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Option one, I don't know if it's okay to ask, but I was wondering if I could get a pay raise.
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And option two, I would like to discuss a possible pay raise.
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I believe my contributions and skills warrant a raise at this time.
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Do you notice that that passive response indicates hesitation and a lack of confidence?
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It also avoids stating what your needs or wants are.
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The assertive response, however, is clear, direct, and respectful.
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It communicates your needs confidently while maintaining professionalism.
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Now, all of that may be easier said than done.
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I know assertive communication can be uncomfortable.
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In fact, to be honest, it's occasionally difficult for me as well.
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Like me, you might worry that assertive communication is rude or impolite, but let me assure you it is not.
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To help, I want to clarify the difference between assertive and aggressive communication.
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Assertive communication says I matter, And so do you.
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It's about communicating your thoughts and your needs clearly and respectfully.
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When communicating assertively, you keep your tone and volume calm.
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And you make sure the focus is on ensuring that both parties or all parties involved in the conversation are heard.
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On top of all of that, maintaining eye contact with your steady tone enhances your assertiveness,
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indicating confidence without intimidation.
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Aggressive communication on the other hand says I matter and you don't.
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It involves expressing your needs and wants in a way that dismisses others.
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This might include speaking loudly, rudely, or insensitively leading to confrontation as opposed to resolution.
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With all of that in mind, here are three distinct situations in which assertive communication is most appropriate.
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Number one, protecting your rights.
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This could include standing up to discrimination, rude comments, or saying no to things that take up your time and energy.
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Situation two is communicating effectively.
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For example, if you want to share a different opinion or express concern in a discussion.
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And the third situation is maintaining self -confidence.
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In other words, when you want to advocate for your needs or set boundaries to maintain your well -being.
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To do that, here are five strategies for effective assertive communication.
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Strategy number one, use I language.
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Using I language puts the focus on your needs and wants rather than what someone else might be doing wrong.
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This avoids placing blame and reduces the potential for conflict.
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For example, instead of saying, it would be helpful.
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If you took on this task, you could make a small change and say, I would appreciate it.
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If you took on this task, these two sentences might sound very similar and in truth they are, but there is a little distinction between them.
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The first one has this feeling that there is an insinuation,
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an assumption that this particular individual hasn't been helpful and and doesn't want to be helpful.
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Whereas the second sentence simply states what you would like to see happen.
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No judgment, no blame, no assumptions.
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Strategy number two is to use empowering language.
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This means to avoid words that weaken your message such as just I'm sorry.
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And I guess using these words can undermine your confidence and make you seem uncertain.
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For example, instead of saying, sorry for bothering you, but could I have my ladder back?
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You can say this instead.
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I need to get my ladder back to finish painting my home.
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When would be a good time for me to pick it up?
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Strategy number three, to communicate in an assertive way is to be direct.
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Now to be direct, you can avoid using words such as could and might.
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These modals can make a request sound tentative.
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Now, Now, to be clear, there is absolutely a time and place to use modals.
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English speakers use them often for polite requests.
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However, if you need to make a request and indicate that there is no wiggle room about it, that it is a direct need,
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here's how you can do that.
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Instead of saying, I was wondering if you could send me an update by the end of the day, you can say this instead.
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Will you send me an update by the end of the day?
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Strategy number four is to set clear boundaries.
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This means to be clear about what you will and will not do without over explaining or apologizing.
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This is particularly important when communicating with others who tend to be pushy or overstep your boundaries.
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For example, instead of saying, I'm so sorry, but I don't think I can meet you on Friday.
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You can say this instead.
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Instead, I can meet you on Saturday, but Friday won't work for me this week.
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Now, in that example, you may have noticed that my alternative included a proposed solution.
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And this is really helpful when setting those boundaries.
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For example, if you need to decline an invitation, providing that alternative sends the message that you're interested in maintaining the relationship,
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but also puts in place some clear limits.
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And now strategy number five, use scripts and rehearse.
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If you find it challenging to be assertive, writing a script and practicing it out loud in advance can be a powerful tool.
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Not only can scripts help you prepare for real life situations, making it easier to be assertive in the moment when you need to be.
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It also gets you more comfortable with this language.
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For this, let's take a look at an example script together.
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I want you to imagine that you are overwhelmed at work and you need to ask a colleague for assistance,
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but you're struggling with how to word that before you approach the conversation.
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You could try a script like this.
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Thank you so much for your support.
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I'm currently managing several other tasks that require my full attention, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with my workload right now.
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Unfortunately, I won't be able to complete this project on time without some help.
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I would really appreciate your assistance with and then name the specific task.
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Now, something about rehearsing scripts.
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I don't want you to memorize it word for word.
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Memorizing leads to sounding like it is memorized in the moment, not like a real conversation.
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Instead, Instead, here's how you can approach using a script
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and rehearsing so that you feel comfortable saying what you need to say in the moment.
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First, go ahead and write out a script, just like the example I've shared with you.
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And then rather than reading it out loud, I want you to have those notes in front of you, but practice looking in the mirror,
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practice, maintaining eye contact, practice, keeping a very calm, relaxed tone of voice and volume and say what you need to say out loud.
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It's okay if it doesn't perfectly match what you wrote down.
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You're just using your notes, your script as a guide, and you can stop at any point, go back, look at those notes and do it again.
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The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll get with that language.
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And you'll also find a variety of ways to say what you need to say with assertive language while doing so.
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You now have five proven strategies to be assertive in English, ensuring that your needs, your wants,
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and your opinions are heard while also respecting others.
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So now I want to hear from you, which one of these strategies are you going to try first?
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I would love to hear from you and you can always share your comments
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and your questions with me down in the comments below.
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If you found this lesson helpful to you, I would love to know, And you can tell me in two very simple ways.
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Number one, give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube.
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And while you're at it, make sure you subscribe so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
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And number two, you can share a comment with me down below
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or go on over to my Speak Confident English website where you'll find this lesson and many resources for me,
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including my in -depth fluency training called how to get the confidence to say what you want.
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Thank you so much for joining me.
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And I look forward to seeing you next time.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação usa o vídeo “Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication”. As palavras que mais se repetem: assertive, communication, English, example, script. Este vídeo tem 66 frases e 1895 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 12:45. O falante mantém um ritmo estável de cerca de 149 palavras por minuto, confortável para o shadowing. 84% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| script substantivo | /skɹɪpt/ | escrito |
| communicate verbo | /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/ | comunicar |
| lesson substantivo | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | lição |
| helpful adjetivo | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | prestável, útil |
| passive adjetivo | /ˈpæs.ɪv/ | passivo |
| polite adjetivo | /pəˈlaɪt/ | educado, polido |
| boundary substantivo | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | fronteira |
| tone substantivo | /ˈtəʊn/ | tom |
| indicate verbo | /ˈɪndɪˌkeɪt/ | indicar |
| aggressive adjetivo | /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/ | agressivo |
| rude adjetivo | /ɹuːd/ | rude, estúpido |
| assumption substantivo | /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/ | suposição, pressuposição |
| ladder substantivo | /ˈlæd.ɚ/ | escada |
| confrontation substantivo | /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/ | confronto, briga |
| respectful adjetivo | /ɹɪˈspɛkt.fl̩/ | respeitoso |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| look forward to verbo | ansiar por, estar ansioso para | |
| go ahead verbo | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | vai em frente |
| go back verbo | voltar | |
| write down verbo | anotar |
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | is designed · is heard · are heard |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | there's been · hasn't been · I've shared |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 29 contrações e formas reduzidas, como you're, don't, I'm. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “th”: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, thumb /ˈθʌm/
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, mushroom /ˈmʌʃˌɹuːm/, contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, occasionally /əˈkeɪʒənəli/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, occasionally /əˈkeɪʒənəli/, contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, discrimination /dɪskɹɪmɪˈneɪʃən/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: script /skɹɪpt/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, polite /pəˈlaɪt/, indicate /ˈɪndɪˌkeɪt/, rude /ɹuːd/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: meal /ˈmiːl/, crystal /ˈkɹɪstəl/, vital /ˈvaɪtəl/, enable /ɪˈneɪ.bəl/, modal /ˈməʊdəl/
- /h/ — um sopro suave, diferente do “r”: helpful /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, enhance /ɪnˈhæns/, hesitation /ˌhɛzɪˈteɪʃən/, rehearse /ɹɪˈhɝs/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Faça shadowing frase por frase na velocidade normal, repetindo cada uma até o seu ritmo ficar igual ao do falante.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como script, communicate, lesson.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.