跟读练习: Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication | 5 Tips - 通过视频学习英语口语
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Let's imagine you're out to dinner with a group of friends.
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You've been looking forward to this all week.
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The waiter finally brings your meal and it's not what you ordered.
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There are two ways you can respond in this situation.
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Option one, excuse me.
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I wonder if maybe there's been a mistake with this order.
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If not, don't worry about it.
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And option two, excuse me.
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I believe there's been a mistake with this order.
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I ordered the pasta with mushrooms, not the mushroom pizza.
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Do you notice that one response is more direct and confident than the other?
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The passive example places someone else's comfort above your own needs
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while the assertive response calmly and confidently states what you need or what you want without any negative emotion.
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So how can you confidently be assertive in English when you need to be direct,
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clear, and polite, it, whether you're sharing your needs, wants, or ideas.
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I have five specific strategies plus the language and sentence structures you need to help you do just that.
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But quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome.
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Welcome.
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I am Anne Marie, an English confidence and fluency coach.
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Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your life and work in English.
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If you'd love to discover hundreds of my English lessons, just like this one, you can find all of that and more over at my Speak Confident English website.
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In fact, while you're there, you can also download my free in -depth fluency training called
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how to get the confidence to say what you want in English.
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Now, Now, before we dive into these five strategies on how to be assertive in your English, I want to take a step back and make sure
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that we're crystal clear about the difference between passive and assertive communication and how both can be useful.
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Moreover, I want to distinguish the difference between assertive and aggressive communication
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so that you can be confident knowing that when you communicate assertively, it's still perfectly polite and appropriate.
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So first let's talk about what exactly is passive communication.
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We use this form of communication when a situation demands extremely polite and diplomatic communication,
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or when it's vital to maintain a harmonious atmosphere.
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However, passive communication can also lead to prioritizing others' needs, wants, and opinions above your own.
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Moreover, it can sound submissive or overly polite, avoiding confrontation, even at the cost of your own needs.
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In contrast to that, assertive communication means calmly and confidently stating your needs,
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wants, and opinions, even in difficult situations.
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It allows you to stand up for yourself while still respecting others, and it enables you to say no without feeling guilty.
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Assertiveness is all about finding balance between being respectful and ensuring that your voice is heard.
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To bring this all into focus, let's take a look at two example sentences.
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Let's say, for example, that you're in the process of asking for a pay raise.
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Again, you have two ways to do this.
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Option one, I don't know if it's okay to ask, but I was wondering if I could get a pay raise.
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And option two, I would like to discuss a possible pay raise.
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I believe my contributions and skills warrant a raise at this time.
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Do you notice that that passive response indicates hesitation and a lack of confidence?
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It also avoids stating what your needs or wants are.
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The assertive response, however, is clear, direct, and respectful.
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It communicates your needs confidently while maintaining professionalism.
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Now, all of that may be easier said than done.
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I know assertive communication can be uncomfortable.
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In fact, to be honest, it's occasionally difficult for me as well.
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Like me, you might worry that assertive communication is rude or impolite, but let me assure you it is not.
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To help, I want to clarify the difference between assertive and aggressive communication.
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Assertive communication says I matter, And so do you.
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It's about communicating your thoughts and your needs clearly and respectfully.
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When communicating assertively, you keep your tone and volume calm.
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And you make sure the focus is on ensuring that both parties or all parties involved in the conversation are heard.
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On top of all of that, maintaining eye contact with your steady tone enhances your assertiveness,
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indicating confidence without intimidation.
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Aggressive communication on the other hand says I matter and you don't.
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It involves expressing your needs and wants in a way that dismisses others.
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This might include speaking loudly, rudely, or insensitively leading to confrontation as opposed to resolution.
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With all of that in mind, here are three distinct situations in which assertive communication is most appropriate.
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Number one, protecting your rights.
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This could include standing up to discrimination, rude comments, or saying no to things that take up your time and energy.
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Situation two is communicating effectively.
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For example, if you want to share a different opinion or express concern in a discussion.
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And the third situation is maintaining self -confidence.
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In other words, when you want to advocate for your needs or set boundaries to maintain your well -being.
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To do that, here are five strategies for effective assertive communication.
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Strategy number one, use I language.
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Using I language puts the focus on your needs and wants rather than what someone else might be doing wrong.
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This avoids placing blame and reduces the potential for conflict.
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For example, instead of saying, it would be helpful.
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If you took on this task, you could make a small change and say, I would appreciate it.
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If you took on this task, these two sentences might sound very similar and in truth they are, but there is a little distinction between them.
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The first one has this feeling that there is an insinuation,
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an assumption that this particular individual hasn't been helpful and and doesn't want to be helpful.
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Whereas the second sentence simply states what you would like to see happen.
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No judgment, no blame, no assumptions.
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Strategy number two is to use empowering language.
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This means to avoid words that weaken your message such as just I'm sorry.
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And I guess using these words can undermine your confidence and make you seem uncertain.
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For example, instead of saying, sorry for bothering you, but could I have my ladder back?
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You can say this instead.
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I need to get my ladder back to finish painting my home.
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When would be a good time for me to pick it up?
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Strategy number three, to communicate in an assertive way is to be direct.
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Now to be direct, you can avoid using words such as could and might.
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These modals can make a request sound tentative.
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Now, Now, to be clear, there is absolutely a time and place to use modals.
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English speakers use them often for polite requests.
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However, if you need to make a request and indicate that there is no wiggle room about it, that it is a direct need,
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here's how you can do that.
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Instead of saying, I was wondering if you could send me an update by the end of the day, you can say this instead.
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Will you send me an update by the end of the day?
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Strategy number four is to set clear boundaries.
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This means to be clear about what you will and will not do without over explaining or apologizing.
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This is particularly important when communicating with others who tend to be pushy or overstep your boundaries.
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For example, instead of saying, I'm so sorry, but I don't think I can meet you on Friday.
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You can say this instead.
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Instead, I can meet you on Saturday, but Friday won't work for me this week.
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Now, in that example, you may have noticed that my alternative included a proposed solution.
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And this is really helpful when setting those boundaries.
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For example, if you need to decline an invitation, providing that alternative sends the message that you're interested in maintaining the relationship,
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but also puts in place some clear limits.
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And now strategy number five, use scripts and rehearse.
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If you find it challenging to be assertive, writing a script and practicing it out loud in advance can be a powerful tool.
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Not only can scripts help you prepare for real life situations, making it easier to be assertive in the moment when you need to be.
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It also gets you more comfortable with this language.
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For this, let's take a look at an example script together.
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I want you to imagine that you are overwhelmed at work and you need to ask a colleague for assistance,
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but you're struggling with how to word that before you approach the conversation.
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You could try a script like this.
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Thank you so much for your support.
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I'm currently managing several other tasks that require my full attention, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with my workload right now.
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Unfortunately, I won't be able to complete this project on time without some help.
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I would really appreciate your assistance with and then name the specific task.
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Now, something about rehearsing scripts.
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I don't want you to memorize it word for word.
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Memorizing leads to sounding like it is memorized in the moment, not like a real conversation.
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Instead, Instead, here's how you can approach using a script
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and rehearsing so that you feel comfortable saying what you need to say in the moment.
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First, go ahead and write out a script, just like the example I've shared with you.
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And then rather than reading it out loud, I want you to have those notes in front of you, but practice looking in the mirror,
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practice, maintaining eye contact, practice, keeping a very calm, relaxed tone of voice and volume and say what you need to say out loud.
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It's okay if it doesn't perfectly match what you wrote down.
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You're just using your notes, your script as a guide, and you can stop at any point, go back, look at those notes and do it again.
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The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll get with that language.
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And you'll also find a variety of ways to say what you need to say with assertive language while doing so.
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You now have five proven strategies to be assertive in English, ensuring that your needs, your wants,
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and your opinions are heard while also respecting others.
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So now I want to hear from you, which one of these strategies are you going to try first?
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I would love to hear from you and you can always share your comments
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and your questions with me down in the comments below.
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If you found this lesson helpful to you, I would love to know, And you can tell me in two very simple ways.
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Number one, give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube.
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And while you're at it, make sure you subscribe so you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
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And number two, you can share a comment with me down below
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or go on over to my Speak Confident English website where you'll find this lesson and many resources for me,
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including my in -depth fluency training called how to get the confidence to say what you want.
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Thank you so much for joining me.
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And I look forward to seeing you next time.
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本课的词汇与口语要点
这节口语课以视频“Be Direct and Polite in English with Assertive Communication”为素材。 视频中反复出现的词有：assertive, communication, English, example, script。 这段视频共有 66 个句子、1895 个单词可供跟读。 讲话部分时长为 12:45。 说话人语速平稳，每分钟约 149 个词，很适合跟读。 84% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，其余的词建议在练习前先学一下。
视频中的重点词汇
视频中 15 个值得学习的单词，附发音和释义：
| 单词 | 发音 | 释义 |
|---|---|---|
| script 名词 | /skɹɪpt/ | 文章 |
| lesson 名词 | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | 課業 /课业, -課 /-课 |
| helpful 形容词 | /ˈhɛlp.fl̩/ | 有幫助 /有帮助 |
| passive 形容词 | /ˈpæs.ɪv/ | 被動 /被动 |
| polite 形容词 | /pəˈlaɪt/ | 有禮貌 /有礼貌, 客氣 /客气 |
| boundary 名词 | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | 邊界 /边界 |
| tone 名词 | /ˈtəʊn/ | 全音 |
| indicate 动词 | /ˈɪndɪˌkeɪt/ | 表明, 表示 |
| aggressive 形容词 | /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/ | 好鬥 /好斗, 好戰的 /好战的 |
| rude 形容词 | /ɹuːd/ | 粗暴, 無禮 /无礼 |
| assumption 名词 | /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/ | 假設 /假设 |
| ladder 名词 | /ˈlæd.ɚ/ | 梯子, 扶梯 |
| confrontation 名词 | /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/ | 對峙 /对峙, 對質 /对质 |
| respectful 形容词 | /ɹɪˈspɛkt.fl̩/ | 恭敬 |
| meal 名词 | /ˈmiːl/ | 餐, 飯 /饭 |
视频中出现的短语动词
| 单词 | 发音 | 释义 |
|---|---|---|
| look forward to 动词 | 期待, 向往 | |
| go ahead 动词 | /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ | 請便 /请便 |
| go back 动词 | 回去, 返回 | |
| stand up for 动词 | 擁護 /拥护, 挺身而出 | |
| stand up to 动词 | 面對 /面对 | |
| write down 动词 | 寫下來 /写下来, 寫下 /写下 |
视频中的语法
说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：
| 结构 | 视频中的用法 |
|---|---|
| 被动语态 be + 过去分词 — 强调发生了什么，而不是谁做的 | is designed · is heard · are heard |
| 现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事 | there's been · hasn't been · I've shared |
需要注意的发音
说话人用了 29 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 you're, don't, I'm。请按听到的简短形式来说。
- “th” 音: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, thumb /ˈθʌm/
- “sh” 和 “zh” 音: assumption /əˈsʌm(p).ʃ(ə)n/, confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, mushroom /ˈmʌʃˌɹuːm/, contrast /kənˈt(ʃ)ɹæst/, occasionally /əˈkeɪʒənəli/
- 长单词——注意重音位置: communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, occasionally /əˈkeɪʒənəli/, contribution /ˌkɑntɹɪˈbjuʃən/, discrimination /dɪskɹɪmɪˈneɪʃən/
中文母语者容易读错的音：
- /v/ — 不要读成 /w/，上齿轻触下唇: passive /ˈpæs.ɪv/, aggressive /əˈɡɹɛs.ɪv/, discover /dɪˈskʌvə/, vital /ˈvaɪtəl/, involve /ɪnˈvɑlv/
- 词尾辅音 — 要读清楚，后面不要加元音: script /skɹɪpt/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, passive /ˈpæs.ɪv/, polite /pəˈlaɪt/, indicate /ˈɪndɪˌkeɪt/
- /r/ 和 /l/ 的区别: respectful /ɹɪˈspɛkt.fl̩/, crystal /ˈkɹɪstəl/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/, clarify /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.faɪ/, calmly /ˈkɑː(ɹ)m.li/
如何用这段视频练习
- 先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
- 用正常速度逐句跟读，每句重复到你的节奏与说话人一致为止。
- 录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 script, lesson, helpful 这类单词。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。