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1
Wow, New York on a Tuesday.
2
Good to see you, super fan here.
3
Man, how are you?
4
How are we doing in the back?
5
So this is like the cool crowd.
6
We have a fucking L.A.
7
This L.A hat.
8
You from L.A.?
9
No, Mexico. From Mexico?
10
You look like a Jew, though.
11
Oh, you are a Jew.
12
Oh.
13
Any other international people, by the way?
14
I heard Germany.
15
I heard a lot of places.
16
Columbia, Germany.
17
Germany, we love you.
18
I know you don't love us.
19
All righty.
20
Anyone get fired from their job today? Or recently? Where were you working?
21
A stupid startup.
22
A stupid startup.
23
Startup means no job.
24
Also, who is actually single?
25
We knew.
26
I think it's mostly engaged couples.
27
No, it actually definitely...
28
It has that vibe.
29
You're actually right, because I'm like engaged and like, it's a bad part of your life.
30
It's depressing.
31
Notice that we just suddenly got silent.
32
Fiance is not a fun term.
33
Nah, I don't say that.
34
I just say my wife.
35
I've been saying that since I met her.
36
Who's engaged here?
37
Yeah, there is a lot of people.
38
What'd you say?
39
I thought it was like a mistake when you were like, oh, I've just been calling her my wife.
40
But like, you lost the crowd a little bit when you were like...
41
Are we with a fucking psychologist?
42
On that note, are you ready to meet your first contestant?
43
Guys, hang on one second.
44
We have been dropping some of the craziest things ever on our Patreon bonus episodes, Extended Cuts, and the show you're watching right now has some tea that you are not gonna want to miss.
45
Enjoy the episode to the show ladies and gentlemen of New York City give it up for Mike
46
yo give it up for Harrison's muscles
47
good nothing good welcome to the show thank you thank you guys give it up for Mike
48
You got some head of hair.
49
Oh my god.
50
That's like a girl.
51
Dude, that's like a girl with triple D tits.
52
Like that is...
53
Like if you have hair like that, you must have a nice, you know, schlong.
54
Because that means your puberty is.. you have very strong genetics.
55
Of course, of course.
56
So tell.. you're strong, bro.
57
A little bit.
58
Well, how are you feeling tonight?
59
Break us in.
60
And we don't do age or profession.
61
I want to just kind of give you a moment right now to tell the crowd who you are
62
and what kind of girl you're hoping to meet tonight.
63
All right, cool, man.
64
And what kind of genetics you have.
65
He's definitely, I could probably guess, but we'll hear it.
66
Yeah, my parents are both from Italy.
67
They were born there as well.
68
Yeah, we knew.
69
Could have kind of guessed that one.
70
I'm from Staten Island, New York, if anyone else is from here.
71
Oh!
72
One of the crowd's fucking weird.
73
There's Staten Island people here.
74
I am a very confident, loyal, respectable person.
75
And I'm just trying to meet...
76
How do you feel you're loyal?
77
Like, you just like, don't cheat?
78
Yeah, I don't cheat.
79
Only the Italian guys have to preface this.
80
Yeah, the Italian guys get a bad rep, but I don't really...
81
I mean, listen, I understand it, but like, me personally, no. You have a nice energy.
82
Like, you actually do.
83
Like, I feel like girls would like you.
84
I would hope so.
85
But yeah, man, I'm just trying to look for a best friend here.
86
Aww.
87
Is there something you're working on in the dating realm that you think will help you find that best friend?
88
Uh, me personally, no. I'm just kind of out there just weighing my options.
89
Oh, really?
90
How much does the option have to weigh?
91
Do you care about that?
92
Are you into like a thicker girl or skinnier?
93
I like thick because I like...
94
All shapes, all sizes, man.
95
You like all shapes and sizes?
96
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
97
If there's like a giant ass, you can handle that?
98
Hell yeah.
99
You gotta be able to fucking swallow that thing, bro.
100
Yeah.
101
You just gotta know what to do with it. Do you...
102
Are you loose like that?
103
A guy like you sniff, do you eat ass or no?
104
Yeah, we can get around.
105
Oh, Italian guys, bro.
106
They'll put their tongue anywhere.
107
Not to go in the rated R direction, but when you play with yourself to a thought, what is the thought that you.. not to watching something, what's the thought that you go to?
108
Oh, I cannot tell you my thought, bro.
109
Wow.
110
You probably met the person I'm thinking of.
111
Everyone I've ever met.
112
Anyway, keep going.
113
What's your thought?
114
Um...
115
It's just really blank up there, to be honest with you.
116
Full transparency.
117
Honestly, like Italians, they're like Jews with no brain.
118
I'm thinking about books a whole lot of time.
119
Like, I hate to say it, but it is blank up there.
120
I could say that.
121
I fucking grew up with only Italian guys, bro.
122
And my conversation, that's why we do this show.
123
My conversations are like, bro, like, are you hard?
124
And they'd be like, and they're like, bro, I'm throbbing.
125
That's the philosophical conversation.
126
Dude, it's, every day that was my conversation as a kid.
127
I literally grew up with guys just like you, and all we talked about was cock, which as I know.
128
Oh, that's literally all my friends talking about.
129
I told you, I told you.
130
Italian guys are all gay.
131
How would you describe your cock to them? To your boys?
132
I mean like, you know, yeah, like, you know, we just say like, yo, like, you know, that shit's big and shit, you know what I mean?
133
Yo, what's up, bro?
134
Like, how you doing today?
135
I'm fucking huge.
136
As a girl, on a real note, some, because I've heard stories from people, sometimes people are surprised.
137
Are you a guy that someone is going to be surprised by, or is what we expect what we get?
138
I feel like on the outside show, I kind of look like a nice guy, and no one really thinks anything of me.
139
But on the inside, especially in the head space.
140
I'm talking about your dick, dude.
141
No, I know.
142
More so just the thoughts of what run through my head, and then when I actually act out.
143
Yeah, there's a lot of things that people don't really expect.
144
Wow, you just got away with murder, because you did not answer that question and we will never know.
145
Yeah, you keep talking about these thoughts.
146
Like, what are these thoughts?
147
It's very mischievous things that go on in my head.
148
What's one of them?
149
But I do act out of them, so it's not like I'm just thinking it.
150
What?
151
Like, what?
152
I've been hanging out with this friend group of girls for a while and there's like six girls in the group
153
and a lot of them just, they bit the dust.
154
They what?
155
They bit the dust.
156
What the fuck does that mean?
157
They bit my dust.
158
They blew you?
159
No, no, not necessarily.
160
They just knocked down like dominoes.
161
So you hooked up with all of them?
162
Yeah.
163
We are with an Italian guy.
164
You slept with all six?
165
Four out of the six.
166
Oh, yeah!
167
Whoa, give it up for that, yo.
168
That's very sick.
169
That's like everyone at Sunday dinner.
170
Is there anything you did with one of them in bed that was like your favorite thing you did with that?
171
One of them we had to use an excessive amount of lube for it.
172
If that makes, you know, if that's anything.
173
Let's quit while we're ahead.
174
On a real note, you're a likable guy, and I think regardless of anything, you're just honest.
175
So what would you say is the number one selling point you have for the girl you're going to meet tonight?
176
I'm an open book, honestly.
177
I'll tell you whatever you want to know.
178
I don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers with anything that I say, but I'm going to be truthfully honest every word that I say.
179
Then tell me your signs.
180
My signs?
181
Yeah.
182
What kind of signs are we talking about?
183
Six foot one?
184
How tall?
185
Six two.
186
Damn, bro.
187
That means six inches.
188
So six two, great hair.
189
Is there one physical feature you have that you maybe are a little shy about?
190
Not really shy, but I feel like I have very good quads.
191
Very nice legs.
192
Cavs as well.
193
I feel like he wants to fuck himself.
194
Ladies and gentlemen, an Italian guy.
195
I feel like I'm with my best friend.
196
Give it up for Mike, everyone.
197
Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for the amazing Maria.
198
Maria Maria Maria Maria Maria Welcome to the show.
199
How are you feeling?
200
I'm feeling great.
201
Hi, you have a good energy.
202
Thank you.
203
You have a nice energy.
204
Well, thank you.
205
You seem like a nice, uh, you seem like a kind person.
206
I try to be.
207
Do you guys, because you already strike me, you're coming off as very friendly.
208
Do you guys always think you're interested in them?
209
like because I feel like you probably give that off sometimes
210
and then you're like no I'm not well I do tend to smile a lot more than I should
211
so sometimes I can give the wrong impression
212
but I feel like I don't know I feel like it's pretty mutual
213
when I like
214
when someone can catch a vibe I can catch it back
215
would you say you're picky yes really yes holy fuck what
216
sometimes in the wrong way I don't know what in one way I don't know sometimes I'm picky
217
but I pick the wrong people.
218
So what are the things, so what are these like unusual picky things that you want that maybe you think don't make sense?
219
I don't know, I just tend to go for a fuckboy and that's probably not what you should be picky about.
220
So I just like tend to like the wrong people
221
that usually have like way too many girlfriends and spend a little too much time with them.
222
So it's like, I don't know.
223
Yeah, there's those guys that have taken down four out of like six girls.
224
And they use a ton of lube.
225
Is there a common physical trait on the men that you go for?
226
I typically like brunettes.
227
I typically like taller guys just because I'm a little bit on the taller side.
228
Do you have a hair preference?
229
Like texture?
230
Like bald or not?
231
Like preferably not bald.
232
Um, I want my kids to have luscious hair, I don't know.
233
Bald is disgusting.
234
You know what?
235
People, I see all these girls getting plastic surgery.
236
Guys, if you're fucking bald, spend the money.
237
Like, dude, I have a friend that got three hair transplants.
238
Like, no, dead ass.
239
Like, guys, it makes me uncomfortable when a guy's bald.
240
Like, I get nervous.
241
Like, you know what I mean?
242
It just gets creepy.
243
Yeah, like, fuck you.
244
If you're bald, go fuck yourself.
245
Maria, what's something that's never happened with a guy in the bedroom that you want to have in at some point?
246
Good head.
247
Hopefully it's not bald.
248
What are these guys doing that they're just not doing it?
249
I just feel like I'm putting on a performance 99% of the time.
250
Oh, you lie.
251
Well, sometimes.
252
Oh, final thing.
253
Is there a physical place that you like a guy to touch you on a first date?
254
I would say, like, my thigh.
255
Oh wow.
256
That's near the quake.
257
I feel like a hand on a thigh is a good signification that we're both interested.
258
Brandon, what do you think?
259
Are we ready?
260
Let's do it!
261
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mike.
262
Oh my god damn, you smell good, bro.
263
What the fuck?
264
Oh my God, I love Nautica.
265
All right, we're gonna get into it, Michael.
266
Do you wanna even, like, first off, say to her what's your name?
267
Hey, my name's Mike.
268
Nice to meet you.
269
Hi, my name's Maria.
270
Nice to meet you.
271
Nice to meet you.
272
All righty.
273
I always say this up top.
274
It's a show.
275
It's an audience.
276
We're not on an island.
277
We move fast.
278
We find things out quickly.
279
And I always challenge the daters right away.
280
I say, we're gonna start with you.
281
Let's see what you want to know before we step in.
282
I wanna make it fair.
283
So we're gonna start with you today, Michael, to see how you, what is the first question you would ask Maria, and remember, we're on date nine.
284
What's your biggest kink?
285
Oh!
286
You said move it quickly, huh?
287
Mine is faking!
288
Oh!
289
Oh, God.
290
That was a day 27 question.
291
I don't even know.
292
I've been with my girl five years.
293
I have no idea what her biggest kink is.
294
I feel like I don't even know.
295
It's honestly a hard question.
296
Mine is just skin.
297
But yeah, if you want to answer Yeah, if you want to answer Michael's question.
298
I just don't feel like I'm a very kinky person.
299
That's fair.
300
That's fair.
301
Completely fair.
302
Yeah, I mean, I like to know that I'm wanted.
303
That's about it.
304
Sounds good to me.
305
She's like, I want to feel wanted.
306
Michael's like, yeah.
307
Michael, how would you define a kink?
308
Because everyone defines it differently.
309
I don't really know.
310
What's your biggest turn-on?
311
Wow, we just got a technical.
312
A lot of lube.
313
How dare you?
314
What's your lucky number?
315
Four?
316
Do you like, you can be honest.
317
Do you like any lube or anything like that?
318
Maria?
319
Lube?
320
I can't say I've experienced it.
321
No. I haven't either.
322
Nah, I actually don't think she's fucking lying.
323
I have never once pulled out lute, bro.
324
I don't know anybody that has to.
325
Yeah, fuck you, dude.
326
How many people in the crowd have actually used lute?
327
Well, now I know you can't make a girl wet.
328
All right, well, keep going.
329
So, Michael, what is your biggest king?
330
Just tell us, just to answer your own question.
331
Like, biggest turn-on is dirty talk, 100%.
332
Oh, yeah?
333
Hell, yeah.
334
Oh, let's do it.
335
Michael, you have a big, fat cock.
336
Well, do you want to then now with Maria, like what would you say to turn her on then?
337
Um...
338
I don't know, it's a little tough right here.
339
Yeah, Mr. Dirty Talk.
340
Just use your thoughts, Michael.
341
I feel like if we just go backstage and close the door, things will just happen, you know?
342
Oh!
343
You have no state, you can say one thing, you don't have to say like, yo, I'm inside, like say whatever, say something kind.
344
From your voice.
345
I think your voice is beautiful.
346
I can't see you, but I think your voice I'm just getting I'm just gonna start faking
347
We're gonna move on now to Maria.
348
We're gonna give you a question.
349
We're playing fair here I hate when people like go you didn't give us a chance
350
We actually do take it away Maria.
351
What's your question to Michael?
352
Do you care more about pleasing someone or pleasing yourself?
353
I'm not gonna lie, I love this question.
354
And to me, 100% pleasing someone else gives me way more- Mike!
355
Oh!
356
My!
357
God!
358
Mike!
359
Oh!
360
Dude, are you fucking- are you kidding me?
361
I only like pleasing myself.
362
Well then what would you do right now to please her?
363
We gotta go backstage for that.
364
I can't be doing that here.
365
Then say something that would please someone and make them feel more special than they've ever felt in their life.
366
I mean, let's make out.
367
That makes you feel very special.
368
It's up to her.
369
Everything's up to her.
370
I'm down for whatever.
371
Go for the thigh!
372
Wait, go for Michael's quad.
373
Michael, I mean, your confidence is like, I can't even handle it.
374
Well, you're, be honest, Maria, you enjoy that.
375
I enjoy it.
376
I like a confident guy.
377
Yeah, dude, I'm telling you, bro.
378
Michael, I'm going to ask you a very hard question right now, and you can answer it however you want.
379
You're on a date with Maria, and this could go both ways.
380
The answer's up to you.
381
Would you describe yourself that's a guy in demand who's kind of like a ladies' man?
382
Or no, you're the sweet guy.
383
Who are you?
384
Tell Maria.
385
I'm the sweet guy, for sure.
386
I'm always the Mr. Nice guy.
387
He's so sweet, he'll get to know your whole friend group.
388
No, I'm being honest.
389
Especially, specifically, if I'm with one person, you have my full force attention.
390
I am the absolute Mr. Nice guy.
391
So you never had so one person, you never had threesome.
392
That's, that, I didn't say that.
393
So you've had, have you had one?
394
Yeah, but that's not really what we're asking here.
395
When did you do it?
396
How long ago was the threesome?
397
You could be honest, everyone should.
398
Like a year ago.
399
A year ago?
400
And who initiated it, you or them?
401
To be completely honest with you, them, I was not really looking for anything at that point.
402
You just like walked into a store to get a drink and they're like, we're gonna fuck you.
403
Wait, can I ask a question?
404
You absolutely, yeah, no, no. Was it two girls or a girl and a guy?
405
No, it was two girls.
406
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
407
Fucking arrogant.
408
There was a lot of pleasing to go around.
409
That's not on me.
410
Oh yeah, how much to go around then?
411
How many inches?
412
It was a two-for-one special.
413
How many inches?
414
What is this, a pizza joint?
415
I know, well tell us now.
416
If you're gonna get like that, how many inches?
417
Uh...
418
Yeah, now we're gonna get...
419
Now suddenly there was two guys in it.
420
They act tough, they're like, Yeah, nah, bro, fuck the other guy.
421
But then when you say how many itches, they don't even fucking tell you.
422
Maria, would that be a green flag if it was two guys?
423
Two guys?
424
Yeah, no, just two guys.
425
Like, wouldn't that be pretty cool?
426
Like, only guys?
427
No, two guys.
428
No, two...
429
Two guys and one girl.
430
Would that be more of a green flag if he did that?
431
It's such a green flag if he fucked his friends.
432
I wouldn't necessarily say, like, a green flag, but I wouldn't say it's like something that I'd be against.
433
I think it's cool.
434
I feel like that makes you like sure of yourself.
435
Like you don't have to like try to be pining after two women at once.
436
Dude, I agree.
437
I like a guy that's done a threesome with a guy is cool.
438
He's the kind of guy that doesn't make you take your shoes off in his apartment.
439
Like it's just humble.
440
I love that answer, by the way.
441
Oh!
442
Brandon, I'm gonna see if Michael can make another move.
443
He did a lot with the kiss.
444
Is there something else he can do?
445
Yeah, what would be a hot thing you would do now to like make her happy excited and move anything?
446
Let's just put it in your corner Yeah, tough guy.
447
Are you gonna bring another girl on stage to fucking do it recently?
448
We're gonna put you on the spot.
449
What's something hot you would do?
450
Am I okay like I'm I'm I good to grab you or no?
451
Not like a weird way.
452
You're all good.
453
I don't care.
454
I can't really see you so I guess Did you like that or no, Maria?
455
I was not expecting that.
456
It's better when it's unexpected.
457
Well, we're like, what's your movies like?
458
Let me fucking choke you.
459
By the way, we apologize, Maria.
460
We didn't fucking, are you okay?
461
I'm good.
462
I asked a question.
463
I thought he was just gonna kiss her hand or something.
464
I thought he was gonna like hug her and maybe do her hand.
465
Anyway, all right, so now.
466
Well, now we'll put the ball in your court, Maria.
467
What do you want to do?
468
Anything you want to do, say.
469
Now it's up to you.
470
So if you want to, you know, fucking, you know, dig your nails into his fucking back.
471
Anything you want to do.
472
Oh, gosh.
473
Are you muscular?
474
Yeah.
475
How can I feel?
476
What part?
477
Like, some biceps going on?
478
I don't know.
479
If you could find them.
480
Right there.
481
Okay, pretty good.
482
Pretty sore.
483
Take your shirt off!
484
Oh!
485
Take it off!
486
Take it off!
487
Take it off!
488
Take it off!
489
I have one rebuttal of that.
490
What?
491
My father told me that's the only thing I can't do.
492
What the fuck?
493
See, I'm a nice guy!
494
I'm a nice guy!
495
Wait, wait, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.
496
Why did you consult with your father?
497
I said, I said, I said, hey, heading out.
498
He goes, don't be stupid.
499
Only thing you can't do, don't take your goddamn shirt off.
500
I said, all right, man.
501
Fuck.
502
But his dab is...
503
Then take your pants off.
504
That's so funny.
505
Yo, dead ass, though.
506
Like, also, like, what the fuck?
507
Do you shower with your dab?
508
Why does he care?
509
I'd probably prefer to take my pants off.
510
Not gonna lie.
511
Take it off!
512
Take it off!
513
Take it off!
514
There's someone at home, I'm like, I got you. Is he wearing underwear?
515
No, he took his shoes off!
516
He took his shoes off, he really is Italian!
517
Yo!
518
Yo!
519
Yo, lift the shirt slightly, slightly.
520
Oh!
521
Michael!
522
Michael!
523
Michael!
524
Wait, we see his quads!
525
He has good capsules.
526
Just don't make sure the shaft doesn't pop out of his side.
527
Yeah, the hands aren't bad though, I'm not gonna lie.
528
By the way, you look like nice.
529
You have fucking nice legs, bro.
530
Thanks.
531
Wait, Maria, do you want to feel his quads there?
532
Wait, does Maria want to feel his quads?
533
Is that okay?
534
Yeah, that's fine.
535
Here, let me just get him out.
536
They're up here.
537
Up here, up here.
538
Brandon, maybe if Maria guesses his boxer color.
539
Oh, I like that.
540
Something really crazy happens.
541
Wait, Harrison, I have a better idea.
542
I have a little right before that my friend to take it off.
543
No, no, no Michael is in his boxers right now.
544
I want to see him get heart
545
Maybe she whispers something to try and say no, I'm not good at that What's the hottest thing?
546
Okay, you don't have to answer is Maria
547
But what would you say to a guy to turn him on
548
if you're on a date with a guy like that something
549
that you know And you're you say whatever you want is there a line
550
or something that you know makes a guy aroused or no?
551
You got Luke?
552
This guy loves Luke.
553
I like that guy.
554
I like that guy.
555
You're getting a little excited over that guy Michael yeah, Michael you want to have a threesome?
556
I'm so sorry.
557
Like, listen, like, to you, like, because, like, we're going for that, I would say no, but, like, I mean, for doubt, I don't know.
558
I'm dealing with all the information I have.
559
Yeah, I'm not gonna say no. That's terrible.
560
Maria's like, I asked him with all the information I have, I only know that he's had it the research.
561
And that he uses Lou, but I don't know.
562
Wait, ask a question then to find one.
563
Get a detail out of this guy, because we can't really get much.
564
He won't even tell us how many inches.
565
Hold on, let me cut.
566
Harrison, help her out with, like, a...
567
Give her a...
568
Give us a question that could give us everything about Michael.
569
Okay, so...
570
Oh!
571
Wait.
572
Did someone say the BC?
573
Oh, we're going back to BC.
574
All right.
575
Roman F.
576
All right, up to you guys, or Michael, if you want to answer.
577
Someone yelled out body count.
578
You can answer it if you want.
579
42. All right, Jackie Robinson.
580
You were like, you came in tonight like, I can't wait to answer that.
581
No, I'm just being honest.
582
Hey, I came out here, I said I'm gonna be an open book.
583
For your father watching the 42 bodies, like tell him like how you treated them.
584
He wants to know.
585
Hey, I treat everyone with kindness and respect.
586
I just want to let that be known.
587
Yeah, don't worry, he only choked 40 of them.
588
Yeah.
589
Everyone's having a good time.
590
Well, things have elevated here.
591
Oh, Brandon, should she guess the boxers?
592
Yes, yes.
593
Maybe if she gets it right, we get to finally see what's behind those.
594
All right, how about this?
595
If you guess the color of the boxers right, it means Michael's your soulmate.
596
And he has to tell us how many inches.
597
Okay.
598
Okay.
599
Alright, Maria, guess the color of Michael's boxers in three, two, one.
600
Blue?
601
Damn.
602
Wow.
603
Alrighty.
604
So we're at...
605
Soulmates.
606
I mean, Aaron, Soulmates.
607
Alrighty.
608
So here's what we're gonna do.
609
Any final words for each other?
610
Any final thing you need to find out?
611
Do you want to know anything?
612
I feel like I've been pretty close and that's on me.
613
What do you know about her?
614
I don't know.
615
I feel like she answered questions pretty honestly, which I like.
616
All right.
617
Maria, is there anything else you need to know about him or decisions here?
618
I think...
619
When was the last time you had sex?
620
Oh!
621
Did the therapist move over there?
622
We're gonna find out when number 42 happened.
623
So we'll start with you, Maria.
624
When was the last time you were with a partner intimately?
625
June.
626
Whoa.
627
What month is it?
628
August?
629
That's fine.
630
Two months.
631
Yeah, I'm kind of similar.
632
I do it like three times a year.
633
All right.
634
Michael, when was the last time you were with a partner intimately? Be honest.
635
Last week.
636
Brandon, just so Michael can kind of end on a good note here.
637
So you were with someone last week, like, on an emotional level, what kind of life is Maria gonna have with you?
638
Yeah, actually, yeah.
639
Paint the picture.
640
Picasso, like your people.
641
Paint the picture.
642
Paint it.
643
Paint number 43.
644
Take it away.
645
She's gonna have a loyal, stand-up, honest guy.
646
Alright, then stand up and get hard.
647
Most guys at this point would ask for their pants back.
648
I find it interesting.
649
We're chilling.
650
We're chilling.
651
We're chilling.
652
We're chilling.
653
Alrighty.
654
To close off the date, we always say this rule of the show.
655
You guys can either hug or kiss each other.
656
Even though it happened, this is how we end the date.
657
Kiss!
658
I mean, I'm down.
659
You are knee-fucking...
660
Oh my god.
661
Brandon, inspect his package again.
662
Keep going!
663
Oh my god!
664
Yo, stand up!
665
Lift your shirt!
666
I saw something jiggle.
667
No, I saw a German army helmet!
668
The fact that you just went through all this, and you're still, you have balls, this guy's got balls, dude.
669
He has balls, and he has a Louis Vuitton belt. Does he?
670
Oh, it's...
671
That was also a great kiss, by the way.
672
I'm sure you know.
673
Oh, thank you.
674
Fuck.
675
I agree.
676
All righty.
677
Guys, you gotta be honest, and it's one way or the other, never anything in between.
678
Our show's definitive.
679
Our show's very hard.
680
Thumb up!
681
Personality-wise, if you are interested in the person next to you, thumb down.
682
If you are not, in three, two, one.
683
All righty.
684
Blindfolds off in three, two, one.
685
Wow, you are gorgeous.
686
Holy shit.
687
Now I got my pants off, so I don't know what the fuck's going on right here.
688
Talk to her first.
689
We're gonna give her a moment.
690
This is...
691
No, you're genuinely beautiful.
692
This is great.
693
This is a great time.
694
Oh, she's perfect.
695
Sorry for the whole pants thing.
696
Oh, they're still off.
697
It happens.
698
Stand up, though.
699
See your height.
700
I want you guys to see each other's height.
701
He's pretty tall.
702
Do I have to stand up?
703
Yeah, you can stand up, Jackson.
704
Why not?
705
I'm also pretty tall.
706
Oh, I like that.
707
That's good.
708
I like that.
709
Good.
710
Whoa.
711
I just want to say that it's much better with the blindfold off.
712
OK, I'm glad.
713
Correa, what was your first thought when you saw him?
714
He's really cute.
715
All right.
716
Eyes closed.
717
Look straight.
718
Thumb up overall if you are interested in the person next to you.
719
Look wise, everything.
720
Thumb down if you are not in three, two, one.
721
Michael, you got her, bro.
722
You got her.
723
Say what you do.
724
You guys now do whatever you guys want to do.
725
Floor is yours.
726
It was good to get to know you.
727
I'm a little scared about the girlfriends, but...
728
Can I have some detail on that?
729
Nah, we're all good on that one.
730
Alright, he'll tell her because these people...
731
Look, this is New York.
732
People speak what they're thinking.
733
Do you want to say anything or no?
734
I'm going to leave it on the table.
735
I'm very good friends with all of them, if that helps.
736
You're friends with four out of the six of them, or what?
737
No, I'm friends with all six of them.
738
Like, very good friends.
739
So what does the four have to do with anything?
740
Wait, the four was just a formality.
741
The crowd's getting crazy.
742
I don't even know what you're talking about.
743
I won't say...
744
He's left with four of them!
745
Oh!
746
Wait.
747
Yeah.
748
Wait, therapist, what did you say?
749
Are we all asking questions now?
750
Um, honestly, no, but I'll give you one.
751
When's the last time that he had like, you know, like an STD?
752
Oh!
753
She really is a fucking Cornell therapist.
754
His father gives him condoms every time it goes down.
755
His dad's like, bro, I have penicillin in my drawer.
756
Do you want to answer a question?
757
When was the last time you got tested?
758
I've never had one.
759
Okay.
760
You've never had a test or you've never had one?
761
No, either.
762
Test, well, no, I've had a test.
763
You've never had one.
764
Bro, it's scary.
765
Like, it's actually scary. Have you been tested?
766
Yes, I've never had an test.
767
I want to let him clarify it.
768
I've never had an ST. No, he hasn't.
769
He's good. Because...
770
We're all fleeing here.
771
Can I ask a question?
772
Yeah.
773
How often do you have unsafe sex?
774
Mostly just with girlfriends.
775
I've only had four since I was 16.
776
The four of the six at the friend group?
777
No. So you wear condoms?
778
Yeah.
779
No fucking way.
780
Yeah, I didn't know there was a Planned Parenthood in Staten Island.
781
Definitely not.
782
And also, Brandon, he's a great guy.
783
He's just not.
784
He is.
785
He's answering every question.
786
He's really vulnerable.
787
He's in his underwear right now.
788
And he's good.
789
Yeah, I'm just an open book, you know?
790
You kind of do.
791
I could tell you really like her, and now you're afraid.
792
No, she's cool.
793
I actually like her a lot.
794
No, also, I got to credit this guy, man.
795
He came on our show with ball, like literally.
796
Like people don't do, I wish everyone was open like you.
797
You're not afraid to say anything.
798
Same with you, Maria.
799
You're very, you guys, I have fun.
800
I'm not going to say anything.
801
We're now gonna move the show along.
802
I don't know what the hell's gonna happen.
803
You were gonna say something?
804
No, no, no. I have chills right now.
805
Like, I don't often get this on.
806
No, I'm being serious.
807
I, we've done a lot of shows that I feel I'm feeling something.
808
All right, Harrison.
809
There's some butterflies.
810
Well, Maria, before we move on, do you want his pants to stay off?
811
He can put them back on if you want.
812
I mean, I don't wanna make him uncomfortable.
813
Harrison, while he's doing that, Tell us what is going on in the crowd.
814
Brandon, someone in the audience wants Michael.
815
What?
816
I'm in shock.
817
And someone else just messaged, yo, before that, I want Maria.
818
Oh!
819
He's like, should we bring up the guy first?
820
Yeah.
821
All right.
822
Yeah.
823
OK.
824
OK, he said this.
825
She won't have to ask me about the size of my package.
826
Is there a Quincy in the audience?
827
Is there a Quincy?
828
Quincy!
829
Quincy!
830
Quincy!
831
Oh!
832
Whoa!
833
Damn, you are a heck...
834
Look at the shoes.
835
Stand right here.
836
Quincy, can I shake your hand?
837
Absolutely.
838
Nice to meet you.
839
Nice to meet you.
840
Alrighty, first off, Jesus, man.
841
You...
842
By the way, your TM was not a joke.
843
We do not need to ask you your size.
844
You are, uh...
845
You are a handsome fucking you I'm not gonna say anything else about his appearance
846
because I want her to actually make a decision blindfolded, but congratulations And he's got a fucking crazy watch bro.
847
You are like
848
All right Harrison we're gonna get to the pitch his style is on another level
849
All right Quincy you have one minute right now to give your pitch to Maria in in three, two, one.
850
Marie, you seem very nice.
851
You got a great personality.
852
You seem very open-minded and very, just down for the flow, and I appreciate that.
853
I can give you just a very calm life.
854
Like, you know, like, Yeah, I couldn't do it!
855
Go out.
856
Go out.
857
That's insane!
858
Go out, have fun, be competitive.
859
And how often do you get an STD check?
860
Every like six months.
861
That's pretty good.
862
All righty.
863
Maria, tell us personality-wise the man you are more interested in.
864
Michael or Quincy who just came up in three, two, one.
865
I don't want a simple life, so I'm gonna have to go with Michael.
866
Wow!
867
Wow!
868
Maria blindfolds often point to the more attractive man.
869
Alright, Maria point to the more attractive man in 3, 2, 1.
870
Now also Quincy there's one more thing you could do to win her back.
871
Take off your pants.
872
I'll respectfully pass.
873
Ladies and gentlemen give it up for Quincy!
874
Alright Harrison, you mentioned, take that off your fucking neck, I hate that.
875
Man I was just letting it hang here for a little bit.
876
Alright, put it on your eyes, because Harrison, what is happening now?
877
Someone in the audience, as you heard earlier, she wants Michael...
878
She said this, I want to meet your daddy.
879
Is there a Lennon in the audience?
880
Is there a Lennon?
881
You will get...
882
You will get one minute with Michael.
883
Yeah, you're Lennon.
884
Oh.
885
Oh, the girl that lost her job.
886
Come on up, give it up.
887
It's Anne.
888
It's Lenny.
889
All right, you're gonna stand right here.
890
You were the one earlier that you said you lost your job or something?
891
Or what was it?
892
Yeah.
893
I'm sorry about that.
894
Yeah, don't worry about it, Maria.
895
It's perfectly fine.
896
All right, I'm glad.
897
I'm glad about that.
898
You seem like a good, you have a good energy.
899
All right, Michael and Maria, they have stuck with each other so far.
900
Be honest right now.
901
Give your pitch to Michael.
902
Tell him why you think he'd be a great partner for him.
903
Oh, um, I'm not interested in Michael.
904
Oh, really?
905
I'm not interested in Quincy.
906
I'm interested in Quincy.
907
Oh, thank you!
908
Quincy!
909
Quincy!
910
Quincy!
911
You take it.
912
You take it out.
913
You take it out.
914
I'm not into juice heads, I'm sorry.
915
Alright, we'll give one minute.
916
Alrighty, go right there.
917
Brandon, are you excited to hear from Quincy again?
918
Not really.
919
I'm excited, but I don't...
920
You're, like, we didn't...
921
I wanted to vibe with you more than we did.
922
You know, you're cool, you have a good energy.
923
Alright, so here's what's gonna happen.
924
Turns out she wants you, Quincy.
925
So, Lennon, you have him in front of you.
926
Tell him why you're the girl that Quincy...
927
I mean, he's very coveted.
928
Tell him why you're the girl that he should pick.
929
I don't need a minute.
930
Very sexy, great shoes, and you seem like you have two brain cells to rub together.
931
Oh!
932
More Shane Michael!
933
All righty, Quincy, what do you want to say?
934
I think you're very beautiful.
935
Thank you.
936
I don't know much about you, so I would love to learn more.
937
Okay, ask away.
938
What's something that someone wouldn't know about you just by looking at you?
939
I'm very artistic.
940
Okay.
941
You said autistic or artistic?
942
A bit of both.
943
Oh, I like that.
944
Okay, keep going.
945
Sorry, can you repeat that?
946
Artistic.
947
I think he's autistic.
948
One more time?
949
One more time.
950
I actually love Quincy.
951
Like, you're actually a very nice...
952
Keep going.
953
I want to give you a mo.. like, keep going.
954
Because you're doing a nice.. be sweet to her.
955
Make her feel good.
956
What would I...
957
If I were to say to you, Quincy, make Lennon feel good, what would you do?
958
I mean, I'm big on eye contact.
959
I was just going to say that.
960
Yeah, very nice size.
961
Thank you, so do you.
962
Absolutely.
963
So what else do you want to know?
964
What else I want to know?
965
Like, what do you do for fun?
966
I love to cook.
967
Okay. And bake.
968
I'm working on perfecting the perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe.
969
I love cookies.
970
Brandon, just a quick hitter.
971
The crowd, someone asked a spicy question.
972
They want to know your favorite position.
973
And this was from a guy, his name is Richard.
974
He's been sending some creepy messages.
975
All right, Quincy, we're going to start with you.
976
What's your favorite position?
977
So it's like reverse cowgirl, but like one leg's between the other.
978
Like one leg between mine, the other leg outside.
979
Split?
980
I don't even do a split, though.
981
Hey, you know?
982
I can do a split.
983
Hey, there we go.
984
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
985
Lennon, what's your favorite position?
986
That's it.
987
Yeah, take it away.
988
I like to be bent over the bathroom sink.
989
What the fuck?
990
Yo, you guys should get married.
991
Well, Quincy, so now that she told you that, what are you going to say?
992
What's your move?
993
What do you do after hearing that?
994
That's a great question.
995
Yes!
996
Yes!
997
Yes!
998
Yes!
999
Yes!
1000
I got a bit of stage fright.
1001
I ain't gonna lie.
1002
Don't worry.
1003
I don't wanna get into my professions or whatever, but I work very corporate, so I'll give you a tap kiss.
1004
Okay.
1005
He's got a big D.O.
1006
We've had teachers get promoted to principal coming on this show.
1007
No, I'm actually not.
1008
We in Orlando, dead ass.
1009
Like we had a girl come on our show and talk about fucking anal, and she's like, hey guys, thanks for having me on.
1010
I got a new job, and it's better than my other one.
1011
So don't worry about your job, But you don't have to, they will not, you're very, by the way, you're actually a very, you're like a respectful guy.
1012
I appreciate that.
1013
Like, for real.
1014
I don't want my child to see me, but I do want them to know I do reverse cowgirl with my leg.
1015
Mostly from reverse cowgirl.
1016
That's cool.
1017
Well, guys, all right, here's what we'll do.
1018
And I love you both.
1019
I feel like I'm in my living room, but not in Staten Island.
1020
I don't know, I don't know if we'd see Quincy there.
1021
All right.
1022
Jersey.
1023
Where in Jersey are you from?
1024
Carney.
1025
Are you serious?
1026
Yeah.
1027
Bro, I have a cousin there.
1028
Oh, where?
1029
Dead ass, bro.
1030
Oh, shit.
1031
There we go.
1032
Quincy, do you play any sports or anything?
1033
I saw your pick in here and had you hooping.
1034
Yeah, absolutely.
1035
I played college basketball, scored a thousand, and I boxed for a bit undefeated, and I did BJJ, but I didn't compete.
1036
Yo, we're with an All-American.
1037
All right.
1038
Lennon and Quincy, eyes closed, look straight.
1039
Thumb up.
1040
If you are interested in the person next to you,
1041
thumb down if you are not in 3, 2, 1.
1042
Nice and nice!
1043
Alrighty, and to close out, you guys can either hug or kiss.
1044
Kiss!
1045
Kiss!
1046
Oh my!
1047
Ladies and gentlemen, Quincy and Emma!
1048
Who's Emma?
1049
I'm Lennon.
1050
Try again!
1051
Brandon, Quincy Jones and John Lennon.
1052
They have a good, by the way, dead ass, like there's a vibe with you two.
1053
Like, you two I love, but these two, I mean we're family.
1054
I mean, give it up for these two.
1055
There you go, amazing.
1056
We have a couple minutes left before we wrap up.
1057
Let's see if there's any Jews, not Jews, left in the crowd.
1058
There appears to be another girl out there.
1059
I think she actually does want Michael.
1060
Oh!
1061
Blind full time.
1062
Even though I love these two together, and I really don't want to do this.
1063
Her message is this.
1064
Short and sweet, I'm also from Staten Island.
1065
Oh.
1066
Does anyone have a garbage can for me?
1067
Should we bring her up?
1068
Yeah!
1069
Is there an Alex in the audience?
1070
You will get one minute. Is there...
1071
Whoa!
1072
Alrighty, Alex, give your pitch to Michael and tell him why you're a better fit for him than Maria.
1073
Okay, well, I'm also from Sun Island, so I guess I, that's one thing.
1074
We also know each other.
1075
Sit down.
1076
You shot the sun!
1077
Fuck!
1078
Oh!
1079
Oh!
1080
Alex!
1081
Alex!
1082
Alex!
1083
Alex!
1084
Are you friend number three?
1085
Yeah!
1086
I'm just kidding!
1087
What was the question?
1088
Guys, tell!
1089
Tell!
1090
Tell!
1091
Yo, this is actually about to get very serious.
1092
Have you.. have you...
1093
No. Oh, you're not number four or five.
1094
No. How do you know.. before anything, Michael, do you know who this is?
1095
Yes.
1096
Does your last name start with a C?
1097
Yes, it does.
1098
You couldn't write this.
1099
All right, so tell me you know him.
1100
Are you interested in him?
1101
You are I could tell you've always been.
1102
I don't know.
1103
I don't know Michael now, so I don't know how much I can answer that question.
1104
All right, so I feel like there were surface-level questions tonight.
1105
All right, so you tell me then you're gonna give it to a real question
1106
and tell him like wait How do you know each other though?
1107
Like, we hung out in like similar groups in high school, like mutual friends.
1108
And has he ever tried to go out with you in the past?
1109
No. No. Well, we'll see if that changes.
1110
Alrighty.
1111
So then give him a real, so you watch him tonight, clearly you have interest, you've known him your whole life, you're like, damn!
1112
All along I didn't know Michael was who I thought he was.
1113
So ask him the question that you've been waiting to ask.
1114
Okay, um, let me think.
1115
What's one thing that you're actually looking for in a person?
1116
Like the absolute main thing for me is loyalty and trust
1117
because I just feel like I haven't had that in a very long time interesting
1118
This is like actually getting really intense so Michael anything you need to ask I need to ask one more thing.
1119
Oh my god.
1120
Do I know your sister?
1121
Yes, probably yeah, yeah, did I fuck your sister?
1122
I mean this guy's been inside of all of Staten Island All righty.
1123
Michael, do you have anything to say or do?
1124
No. All right.
1125
So here's a rule of the show.
1126
No matter what we always say this, it's up to you guys.
1127
You guys, you guys can either hug or kiss.
1128
We're going to go for like a hug, cheek kiss.
1129
I feel like that's fair, right?
1130
I'll do a hug.
1131
Oh, you're right here.
1132
All righty.
1133
What's your mind?
1134
All right.
1135
Michael, put your arm over to the girl personality-wise personality-wise that you are more interested in.
1136
In three, two, one.
1137
Alrighty, Michael, point, take your blindfolds off and point to the girl you are interested in.
1138
And take it off fully, not the skiing shit.
1139
Point in three, two, one.
1140
Alrighty.
1141
Alex.
1142
Isabella.
1143
Michael, so you know who this is?
1144
Yeah, I know who this is, yeah.
1145
Did you have a crush on her when you were younger?
1146
How do you know?
1147
A little bit, yeah.
1148
Alright, well, so is there any, you're gonna stick with Maria, or are you gonna relive a childhood fantasy?
1149
I'm gonna stick with Maria.
1150
I'm just gonna put a thing going, I like it.
1151
Alrighty, I mean, Alex, that was very nice.
1152
I know.
1153
Guys.
1154
I'm a good sport, I'm a good sport. So sweet.
1155
Give it up for my Alex!
1156
Alex, thank you for coming up Alex.
1157
We appreciate you.
1158
I mean guys, we, yo, what a fun, this was one of my, I had a fucking good time.
1159
You two are honestly, I'm not kidding, yo.
1160
Michael, get down on your knees and ask her out right now.
1161
Take it away, if you're actually interested, Michael, we're gonna close off here.
1162
Would you be so kind as to go out sometime?
1163
Sounds good to me.
1164
Michael!
1165
Michael!
1166
Michael!
1167
Michael!
1168
Guys, that was an all-time show.
1169
Head over to our Patreon right now to find out what happened with Michael and Maria.
1170
You are going to be shocked by the update.
1171
And we are on tour right now.
1172
We're on the road having a blast doing some of the best shows of all time.
1173
Upcoming dates are right here most of these tickets are gone.
1174
And guys, we're doing some New York shows.
1175
So check on our website when we are coming to New York.
1176
We've been having some crazy after parties in Atlantic City the other night.
1177
It was actually insane.
1178
So get a ticket, come hang at the show, party with us after.
1179
Updating on the road, it's a very fun night.
1180
And next week we are dropping another all-time show.
1181
So turn on your notifications and keep hitting subscribe.
1182
Thank you.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Este vídeo tem 1182 frases e 7808 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 52:10. O falante fala em ritmo natural, cerca de 150 palavras por minuto, próximo de uma conversa do dia a dia. 85% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| pants substantivo | /pænts/ | calças |
| bald adjetivo | /bɔːld/ | calvo, careca |
| gentleman substantivo | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.təl.mən/ | senhor, cavalheiro |
| thumb substantivo | /ˈθʌm/ | dedo polegar, polegar |
| chill verbo | /tʃɪl/ | esfriar, resfriar |
| whoa | /woʊ/ | alto!, ou! |
| boxer substantivo | /ˈbɑksɚ/ | boxeador, boxeadora |
| pitch substantivo | /pɪt͡ʃ/ | arremesso |
| vibe substantivo | /vaɪb/ | vibração, astral |
| dust substantivo | /dʌst/ | pó, poeira |
| reverse substantivo | /ɹɪˈvɝs/ | contrário |
| cock substantivo | /kɑk/ | ave-macho |
| loyal adjetivo | /ˈlɔɪəl/ | leal, fiel |
| artistic adjetivo | /ɑɹˈtɪs.tɪk/ | artístico |
| therapist substantivo | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | terapeuta |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| stand up verbo | levantar | |
| go out verbo | sair | |
| find out verbo | descobrir | |
| bring up verbo | criar | |
| come out verbo | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | sair, partir |
| get away with verbo | passar batido | |
| go down verbo | descer | |
| knock down verbo | derrubar |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 364 contrações e formas reduzidas, como I'm, don't, you're. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “th”: thumb /ˈθʌm/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, thigh /θaɪ/, thick /θɪk/, feather /ˈfɛðə/
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: shock /ʃɔk/, profession /pɹəˈfɛʃ.ən/, unusual /ʌnˈjuːʒ(u)əl/, congratulations /kənˌɡɹæt͡ʃəˈleɪʃ(ə)nz/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, unusual /ʌnˈjuːʒ(u)əl/, congratulations /kənˌɡɹæt͡ʃəˈleɪʃ(ə)nz/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como pants, bald, gentleman.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — uma ação que começou antes e continua | I've been saying · I've just been calling · have been dropping |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | I've ever met · I've heard · have taken |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | were born · be known · been tested |
| Superlativos the -est / the most … — o maior ou o menor de um grupo | the craziest · my best · your biggest |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.