Практика Shadowing: 8 Ways to ACTUALLY Feel Grateful, Even If Everything Is Falling Apart… - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
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Gratitude is contagious.
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Sometimes you just need to borrow it.
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When you're in a season of envy, when everyone else's joy feels like a reminder of what you don't have,
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that's exactly when borrowing gratitude matters the most.
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It sounds strange, but gratitude isn't always something you feel.
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Sometimes it's something you witness.
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When your heart can't access gratitude, start by noticing someone else's joy without judgment.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
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Jay Shetty.
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Jay Shetty.
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The one, the only Jay Shetty.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
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I'm your host, Jay Shetty, author of New York Times bestselling books, Think Like a Monk and Eight Rules of Love.
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If you haven't read either, I hope you take a moment to go and grab your copy.
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If you love this podcast, I promise you, you'll love the ancient wisdom, modern science, and insight inside the books.
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Now to today's episode, let's be honest.
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When life isn't where you want it to be, the word gratitude can feel fake.
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You know you should be thankful, but you look at your bank account, your job, your relationship status, and it just feels hollow.
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Especially when someone comes up to you and says something like, be grateful for what you have.
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You should be thankful.
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You should be grateful.
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But sometimes that feels like being told to smile while everything falls apart.
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Today, I'm going to share with you practical, thoughtful, powerful steps to actually help you understand gratitude and implement it,
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especially when you don't feel like it.
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Not the forced kind, the kind that reconnects you to yourself, the kind that helps you breathe again.
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And the reason is, one of my favorite quotes that I read a long time ago says, when you're grateful for what you have,
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you receive more to be grateful for.
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What's also true is when you're grateful for what you have, when you have more, you'll be able to be grateful.
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Our mind tricks us into believing that when I have more, then I'll be thankful.
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When I get that promotion, then I'll be grateful.
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When my life shifts in this way, then I can appreciate it.
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Not realizing that what we're living today was yesterday's dream.
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Where we are right now is what we prayed for two years ago.
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What you're achieving and receiving today is something you never even imagined.
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But now that you have it and it feels familiar, it breaks it down.
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Number one, separate gratitude from denial.
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You don't have to pretend everything's okay to be grateful.
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True gratitude isn't saying it's fine.
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It's saying even though it's not fine, there's still something worth noticing.
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It's not saying I'm going to pretend to avoid all the difficult things.
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I'm going to pretend to avoid all the negative things.
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And I'm just going to act like everything's perfect.
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That's lying to yourself.
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That's toxic positivity.
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The science says, people who acknowledge their struggles and gratitude experience higher resilience and lower depression than those who fake positivity.
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That's mind -blowing.
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Think about that for a second.
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You actually saying, hey, this is not working out in my life, but I'm really grateful for this friend, not as a counterbalance, right?
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You're not trying to make it equal.
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You're simply saying, I see both of these things in reality.
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I see that my career isn't going the way I want, but I'm really grateful that I have a great group of friends,
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that's going to reduce your depression.
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Most of us learned gratitude as a kind of emotional cover -up.
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When things go wrong, people say, just be grateful.
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But that advice can land like a slap when you're hurting.
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Because gratitude was never meant to erase your pain.
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It was meant to sit beside it.
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Let me say that again.
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Gratitude was never meant to erase your pain.
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It was meant to sit beside it.
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Separating gratitude from denial means giving yourself permission to be both honest and hopeful.
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People don't talk about how annoying it is when someone says, just be grateful.
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You can be thankful and tired.
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You can appreciate what's good without pretending everything is good.
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When we use gratitude to suppress how we feel, it becomes toxic.
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It disconnects us from our own truth.
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But when we let it coexist with pain, it becomes healing.
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Psychologists call this emotional granularity, the ability to hold complex emotions at once.
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Studies show people who can acknowledge both joy and sorrow are more resilient, less anxious, and bounce back faster from setbacks.
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Gratitude isn't about pretending the storm isn't there.
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It's standing in the rain and still being able to say, even now.
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Something in me is alive, learning, becoming.
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That's not denial.
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That's awakening.
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And learn to say both truths out loud.
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Start your gratitude sentences with, even though, so for example, even though I feel lonely,
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I'm grateful I still have people who care.
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Even though work is stressful, I'm grateful I'm learning new skills.
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It trains your mind to hold two realities at once, pain and perspective.
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That's balance, not denial.
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What we tend to do is do one or the other.
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We tend to focus on everything that's going wrong.
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We've all been there.
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Or we tend to focus on everything that's going right.
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And then what happens?
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When you fake that everything's going right, all it takes is one little thing to trip you up.
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And when you believe everything's going wrong, will you just keep digging a deeper hole for yourself?
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Please start looking at your life and your world, not as equal, not as perfectly balanced,
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but being able to notice the challenges and being able to notice the growth.
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Life isn't about what happens to you.
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It's about what you notice that is happening to you.
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And so many of us only choose to notice the negative,
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difficult, challenging things, and we miss out and forget the beautiful, powerful, incredible things.
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Step number two, stop using gratitude to shut down emotion.
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If you catch yourself saying, I shouldn't feel sad, other people have it worse, pause.
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That's not gratitude.
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That's guilt in disguise.
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Instead, say, I can feel sad and still appreciate what I have.
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You're not disqualifying your feelings, you're integrating them.
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I think what's really interesting about that point is a lot of us almost feel like we're not allowed to feel sad.
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We don't think we have the permission to be sad.
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Now, the truth is everyone will generally find someone who's worse off than them,
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but it's not about comparing your pain because then you're not allowing it to live there.
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You're not allowing it to float through you and process it.
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So here's what I want you to try.
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Write what's hard and then what's here.
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In your journal or even in a notes app, draw two columns.
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The left side, what's hard right now?
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The right side, what's still good right now?
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When you can see both on the same page, your brain learns that gratitude doesn't erase struggle.
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It coexists with it.
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And this has been a game changer in my life because we constantly think, wait, I shouldn't feel this emotion.
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And when you feel you shouldn't feel an emotion, you now start to feel guilt and shame.
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And when guilt and shame take over, we get into a really dark and difficult place.
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I also want you to try this.
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Replace at least with and.
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We often say things like, at least I still have a job.
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That phrase minimizes your feelings.
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Try saying this instead.
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This is hard and I'm grateful I still have a job.
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That simple word and instead of at least keeps your experience whole.
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The other principle inside of this is feel it, don't force it.
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If you can't feel grateful, don't fake it.
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Start smaller.
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Notice one thing that doesn't hurt today.
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A warm shower, breathing your favorite song.
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Gratitude isn't a performance its presence.
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When you stop using gratitude as a mask and start using it as medicine, it doesn't numb you, it nourishes you.
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You stop pretending your life is perfect and start realizing it's real.
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Way number two is start with what stayed.
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When life falls apart, focus on what remained.
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We usually focus on everything that was lost, changed or disappeared.
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But ask yourself, who checked on you?
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What part of yourself showed up when everything else fell away?
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When life falls apart, our minds go straight to what's missing.
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The job we lost, the person who left, the dream that didn't happen.
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We replay it, analyze it, try to understand it.
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But rarely do we stop and ask, what stayed?
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Because even when everything changes, something always remains.
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Maybe it's your best friend who still picks up the phone.
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Maybe it's your morning walk, your sense of humor, your faith, or the strength you didn't know you had.
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Gratitude doesn't mean ignoring the loss.
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It means anchoring yourself to what's still here.
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When you start with what stayed, you remind yourself that not everything was taken from you.
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Every time you lose something, life is also showing you something that stayed.
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What can't be taken?
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What's real?
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And when you focus on that, you stop feeling like you're rebuilding from zero.
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Because you're not.
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You're rebuilding from truth.
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The strongest people aren't the ones who never lost anything.
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They're the ones who recognize what stayed, who noticed what remained,
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who see who is still around when everyone left them because they recognize that this was all they ever had anyway.
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Try this.
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Write down three things that didn't leave you this year.
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A friend, a habit, a value.
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Whatever it may be, That list is your real foundation.
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Step number three, gratitude through contrast.
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You don't need to be grateful for what's perfect, just grateful for what's better than before.
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We spend so much of our lives looking sideways, scrolling, comparing, measuring ourselves against everyone else's highlight reel.
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Gratitude doesn't grow when you look at others.
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It grows when you look back at yourself because comparison to others triggers envy and scarcity.
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But comparison to your past self reveals evidence of growth.
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You see how far you've actually come, not how far ahead other people are.
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Think about it when you're climbing a mountain, climbing a hill.
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If you're on a hike and you're constantly looking at the people who are ahead of you, you feel despondent, you feel disappointed,
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you feel harsh on yourself.
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You might have that inner critic.
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But if you turn and look back at how far you've come, you feel inspired and motivated.
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Stop comparing yourself to other people.
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If you're going to compare yourself, only compare yourself to a past version of yourself.
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When you compare yourself to others, it distracts you.
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When you compare yourself to where you were, it motivates you.
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Think about this.
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The things you take for granted right now were once things you prayed for.
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The calm you feel today used to be chaos.
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The strength you have now was once survival mode.
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When you compare you to you, gratitude becomes self -compassion, not competition.
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So the next time you catch yourself thinking you're behind, ask a different question.
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Am I further along than I was?
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If the answer is yes, even slightly, that's something to thank yourself for.
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Gratitude isn't about being ahead of anyone.
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It's about recognizing you're not who you used to be.
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You don't need a new life to feel grateful, just a new lens to see how far you've come.
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Ray Dalio once said to me, pain plus reflection equals progress.
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That's resilience.
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Reflecting on your pain.
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You've been through so much.
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You have been through so much.
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You've done so many difficult things.
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When you recognize and reflect on them, you get more energy for future challenges.
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If you compare yourself to everyone else's timeline, you will always feel behind.
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If you compare yourself to where you were, you will always feel ahead.
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Stop comparing yourself to people who have their own pace.
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If you keep comparing your life to someone else's, you'll start doubting blessings you once prayed for.
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Everyone's ahead in something and behind in something else.
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Comparison makes you chase timelines that were never meant for you.
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You don't need to catch up.
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You need to come back to your own pace, your own story, your own timing.
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The truth is most people aren't doing better than you.
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They're just posting faster.
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Step four is called micro -gratitude, the 10 -second pause.
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Forget journaling pages of gratitude lists.
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Throughout your day, take 10 seconds to say, something good is happening right now.
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The coffee aroma, the sound of laughter, the sunlight through your window.
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Neurologically, this rewires your amygdala, the brain's fear center, to recognize safety cues.
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That's how gratitude calms anxiety in real time.
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And then feel it in your body, not just in your head.
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Thinking about gratitude doesn't change you.
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Feeling it does.
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When you recall a moment you're thankful for, breathe and notice where you feel it.
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Warmth in your chest, softness in your jaw, ease in your shoulders.
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Harvard research shows that embodied gratitude triggers oxytocin release, the connection hormone.
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It's like giving your nervous system a hug.
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Then reframe the waiting season.
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When your life isn't where you want it to be, it's easy to resent waiting.
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But the truth is, growth seasons, rarely look glamorous.
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This changed my life when I learned it.
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Bamboo spends five years growing roots underground before it breaks the surface.
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You're not behind, you're building underneath.
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Gratitude in this phase means thanking the roots, not the flowers.
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When you're in a waiting season, it feels like everyone else is moving, getting promoted, falling in love,
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figuring it out, while you're stuck refreshing the same page of your life.
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You start to wonder if you've done something wrong, if the universe forgot about you, or if the dream you're chasing even exists.
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But the truth is, waiting seasons aren't wasted.
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They're preparing.
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Every seed spends time underground before it sees light.
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The bamboo plant spends years growing invisible roots before it shoots up 90 feet in a matter of weeks.
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If you judged it during the waiting, you'd think nothing was happening, but everything was.
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The same is true for you.
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The waiting season is where your roots deepen, your patience, your humility, your trust, your character.
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What looks like delay is often design.
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It's usually growth in a different direction.
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Let me give you an example.
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No one ever walks into a building and says, I love the foundation of this building.
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People like the colors, the aesthetics, everything else.
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But without the foundation, the building doesn't even exist.
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So instead of asking why isn't it happening yet, try asking who am I becoming while I wait?
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Because one day the doors will open
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and the person you've become in the choir will be the reason you're ready to walk through them.
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Please don't feel behind because you think someone else is ahead.
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You're not in the same race.
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You're not even running on the same track.
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Their pace has nothing to do with your purpose.
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The truth is, nobody's really ahead.
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They're just in a different chapter, learning a different lesson.
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Maybe theirs is about arrival and yours is about becoming.
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Maybe they got what they wanted, but you're learning what actually matters.
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Every path has its own timing.
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Some people bloom in their 20s, others in their 40s.
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Some find love early.
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Others find themselves first.
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Life doesn't reward the fastest, It rewards the most faithful.
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Step number seven, borrow gratitude when you can't find your own.
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If you can't feel grateful for your own life, witness someone else's joy.
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Watch a kid play, an old couple laugh, a friend achieve something, and let yourself smile for them.
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Research from Emory University found that observing someone else's gratitude activates the same brain regions as feeling it yourself.
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Gratitude is contagious.
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Sometimes you just need to borrow it.
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When you're in a season of envy, when everyone else's joy feels like a reminder of what you don't have,
261
that's exactly when borrowing gratitude matters the most.
262
It sounds strange, but gratitude isn't always something you feel.
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Sometimes it's something you witness.
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When your heart can't access gratitude, start by noticing someone else's joy without judgment.
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Watch a child laugh uncontrollably, a friend get engaged, a stranger dance like nobody's watching.
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Instead of tightening with envy, whisper quietly to yourself, that's beautiful.
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You don't need to feel it for you yet.
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Just let yourself feel it for them.
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Next, turn envy into information.
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Ask, what does their happiness show me about what I truly desire?
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Envy isn't proof you're ungrateful.
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It's a compass pointing towards something meaningful.
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Once you name what that is, love, recognition, freedom, purpose, you can begin to thank life for showing you what you value.
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And finally, practice proxy gratitude.
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When you can't say, I'm happy for me, say, I'm happy for them.
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Over time, that emotion builds emotional muscle memory the more you celebrate others' blessings, the less your own heart stays closed.
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Because joy isn't a limited resource.
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It's a shared current.
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When you borrow someone else's gratitude, you're not stealing it.
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You're learning how to feel again.
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Being happy for someone when you're winning is easy.
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Your cup is full, your confidence is steady, and their success feels like a reflection of abundance.
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But being happy for someone when you're losing, that's the real test.
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That's when envy whispers that life is unfair, that their moment somehow took yours.
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But here's the truth.
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their light doesn't dim yours.
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It just reveals where your wounds still want healing.
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Being happy for someone when you're losing isn't about pretending you're fine.
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It's about saying I'm proud of them even while I'm hurting.
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That's emotional maturity.
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That's strength.
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Step number eight, thank the version of you that survived.
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Write a thank you note to your past self, the one who kept going when it was hard.
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Neuroscientists call this the self -compassion recall.
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It activates the medial prefrontal cortex, increasing emotional regulation and self -worth.
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We spend so much time trying to move on from our past
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that we forget to thank the person who got us through it.
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The version of you who stayed up all night worrying, but still showed up to work.
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The one who loved people who didn't love back.
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The one who held everything together when no one noticed.
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That version wasn't perfect, but they were powerful.
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Without them, you wouldn't be here.
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Thanking the version of you who survived isn't self -indulgence.
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It's self -respect.
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It's saying you did the best you could with what you had.
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And that was enough.
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Most of us skip this step.
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We rush to become wiser, calmer, more healed but it means bringing it with you.
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The you who endured is the foundation of the you who's evolving.
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Thank the version of you who survived.
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The one who held it together when everything felt like it was falling apart.
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The one who got out of bed when they didn't want to.
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Who went to work with a broken heart.
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Thank the version of you who didn't have the answers but kept going anyway who made decisions they weren't proud of,
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but did the best they could with what they knew, who stayed kind even when life wasn't.
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You don't have to hate who you were just because you've grown.
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That version of you wasn't weak.
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They were doing what it took to survive.
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You don't owe them judgment.
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You owe them gratitude.
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Because without them, you wouldn't be here, trying again, healing, rebuilding, becoming.
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I truly hope this episode inspires you with gratitude so that you can truly find meaning in your life, create more memories to be grateful for,
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and share gratitude with anyone and everyone.
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Choose one person personally and one person professionally for the next seven days to share gratitude with.
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Don't keep it in a journal or a book or a page, go and share it with real people and watch how your life changes.
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Thanks so much for listening today.
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I love spending this time for you.
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And remember, I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
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Take care.
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If you love this episode,
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you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
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My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of.
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The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.
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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку
Этот урок разговорной практики построен на видео «8 Ways to ACTUALLY Feel Grateful, Even If Everything Is Falling Apart…». В этом видео 333 предложений и 3488 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 23:53. Говорящий держит ровный темп — около 146 слов в минуту, удобный для шедоуинга. 84% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.
Ключевая лексика этого видео
15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:
| Слово | Произношение | Значение |
|---|---|---|
| gratitude существительное | /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/ | благода́рность, призна́тельность |
| grateful прилагательное | /ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/ | благода́рный, призна́тельный |
| compare глагол | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | сра́внивать, сравни́ть |
| envy существительное | /ˈɛnvi/ | за́висть |
| emotion существительное | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | эмо́ция, чу́вство |
| thankful прилагательное | /ˈθæŋkfəl/ | благода́рный, призна́тельный |
| heal глагол | /ˈhiːl/ | лечи́ть, вы́лечить |
| borrow глагол | /ˈbɑɹ.oʊ/ | занима́ть, заня́ть |
| denial существительное | /dɪˈnaɪ.əl/ | опроверже́ние, отрица́ние |
| pray глагол | /pɹeɪ/ | моли́ться, помоли́ться |
| pace существительное | /peɪs/ | шаг |
| judgment существительное | /ˈd͡ʒʌd͡ʒ.mənt/ | осужде́ние, сужде́ние |
| breathe глагол | /bɹiːð/ | дыша́ть |
| guilt существительное | /ɡɪlt/ | вина́, вино́вность |
| compassion существительное | /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/ | сострада́ние, сочу́вствие |
Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите
| Слово | Значение |
|---|---|
| fall apart глагол | распада́ться, распа́сться |
| miss out глагол | упуска́ть, упусти́ть |
| pick up глагол | подбира́ть, подобра́ть |
| show up глагол | объявля́ться, объяви́ться |
| shut down глагол | выключить, остановить |
| stay up глагол | бо́дрствовать |
| take over глагол | брать на себя́, взять на себя́ |
| write down глагол | запи́сывать, записа́ть |
Фразы, которые стоит повторять
Короткие законченные фразы из видео, которые пригодятся в повседневном разговоре:
- Sometimes it's something you witness.
- When I get that promotion, then I'll be grateful.
- You're not trying to make it equal.
- I'm grateful I still have people who care.
- Am I further along than I was?
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| «Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет | used to be |
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | haven't read · has been · you've actually come |
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | being told · was never meant · was meant |
| Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете | people who acknowledge · people who can · people who care |
Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание
Говорящий использует 146 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например you're, I'm, don't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.
- Звуки «th»: thankful /ˈθæŋkfəl/, breathe /bɹiːð/, faithful /ˈfeɪθ.fl̩/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, theirs /ðɛɚz/
- Звуки «sh» и «zh»: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/
- Длинные слова — следите за ударением: resilience /ɹɪˈzɪl.ɪ.əns/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/, regulation /ˌɹɛɡjʊˈleɪʃən/
Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:
- /w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: reward /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/, wisdom /ˈwɪzdəm/, borrowing /ˈbɔrəwɪŋ/, whisper /ˈ(h)wɪspɚ/, wound /ˈwund/
- /h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: heal /ˈhiːl/, whisper /ˈ(h)wɪspɚ/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, highlight /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/
- Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: gratitude /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/, pretend /pɹəˈtɛnd/, rebuild /ɹiːˈbɪld/, reward /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/, underground /ˌʌn.dəɹˈɡɹaʊnd/
Как заниматься с этим видео
- Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
- Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
- Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как gratitude, grateful, compare.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.